"Pirates of the Caribbean Online - Oh how I hate thee - Let me count the ways...."

Ok, let me begin by saying that I tried to give this game the old college try. I decided to upgrade to full access, since my experience from the limited trail was horrible.

Well, things did not improve.

Pirates of the Caribbean Online came out of beta about 3/4 of a year ago. In my opinion it should have never left Beta. In fact, it feels like it never did. Here is my review.


Graphics Quality: 2/10


The graphics in this game are absolutely horrid, with a few notable exceptions. A select few NPCs, some of the ships and a few character outfits and tattoos look pretty good, but overall most of the graphics are dated. And by dated I mean, well, think Playstation. Thats Playstation one.

You have to set the graphics settings to the lowest setting just to make the game playable, and on that setting the graphics are laughable. Basically, imagine the worst graphics quality possible, and then drop it down a notch. You then have PotCO.

Could they be worse? Sure. But you would think a modern game would consider a graphics quality that is, at its worst, reasonably appealing. This game falls far short of that.


Sound Quality: 7/10


One of the few places where the game does well. The music, though looped throughout most areas is appealing, especially out to sea. The music is composed obviously, and sounds full as well as period appropriate. Definitely pirate music.

But there is one caveat that drops the score...the attack sounds.

First, there is no positional location of sounds, meaning that as mobs drop behind you, to your left or right, the sound does not move. It seems to remain in the front. Second, sound does not scale down properly as you move away, at least on land. You can be very far away from players fighting mobs and the sound remains loud...as if the fight is right next to you, finally dropping off very rapidly. There is no smooth distance transition, which detracts from the overall mood and feel of the game.

Other than that, the weapon sounds are pleasant, though perhaps repetitive. Certainly not any different than most other online games.


Playability: 1/10


Here is where the game really falls flat. I'm not sure what demographic this game was aiming for, but it must be nonexistent. The game has little to no replay value. I could write a very long block of text as to why this is the case, but instead I will talk about the blaring problems.

Constant disconnects and crashes.
This problem is extremely irritating. It seems noone is immune, no matter what kind of computer build you have. It is especially irritating to crash when you have a full hold at sea, since you lose all of your loot but still have to pay for the damage repair. Nothing seems to fix this. I counted 14 disconnects in 10 minutes of gameplay at sea, 8 disconnects in 20 minutes on land.

Memory leaks.
Another big problem. The executable continues to gobble memory until there is no more memory to eat, and the game crashes. The only solution is to Atl-Tab out of the game to release the memory every 4 to 5 minutes or so. Otherwise, crashes will result when you hit the top of your memory. The game has held as much as 2.4 GB of my available memory before it crashed. Setting the graphics settings on the lowest options does not cure this pervasive problem.

Difficulty leveling weapons.
Mobs are far too difficult. XP payout is far too low. Prices for weapon upgrades are ridiculous with little to no benefit to upgrade. The only exceptions are the ships and the voodoo doll. At least you can run in circles with the voodoo doll and level it at a decent rate.

Limited clothing and tattoo/appearance options.
Clothing is limited to perhaps 4 or 5 types of each item, with limited colors. Prices are far too high, you can only carry 4 of each type at once. There are no tattoos for lower arms, hands, backs, side of head or back of head, and only one for the face. There are no scars, eye patches, peg legs, hand hooks, no sashes to go across the chest, and hat types and colors are also limited. No weapons are displayed on your person. Finally, for larger body types the waist is ridiculously small.

Ships are also limited in appearance options. You dont have pirate flags, sail appearance options, color options, trim options, or any kind of upgrades available. All player ships look the same.

Horrible targeting system.
Though I am not against FPS style targeting, the target reticle is far too small, and the lock-on system cannot be shut off. Mouse sensitivity cannot be adjusted either, causing cramping problems from extended play. Mobs, however, can lock on to you and do not lose that lock unless line of sight is lost.

Lack of ability to bind or change keys.
This is a big caveat. You have to use the default key set, there is no way to change the key bindings.

No ability to release talent points used to reassign them.
This is also irritating. You are given talent points at every weapon level up point to assign to added damage or other specials. The problem is that, if you assign a point by mistake, there is no way to correct that mistake. All points already assigned are permanent. If you make a mistake and it breaks the game for you in some fashion you have to reroll.

Now, some basic complaints.

No fluid level up system with quests.
Bugged quests.
Gimped chat system.
No trade system.
No inventory system.
Bugs in almost every aspect of the game.
No way to play an EITC faction.
No way to play as Navy.
Limited weapons.
Limited talents.
Limited levels.
Limited health and voodoo.
No scaling with mobs (you get very high level spawns next to low level spawns all the time.)


Game Plot: 4/10

Not too bad, they created a new villain, the undead Jolly Rodger. His minions are all over the world landscape. Seems he has the Black Pearl and a vendetta against Jack Sparrow, and it is your job to collect together a crew of miscreants and get the Pearl back at all costs.

Not a bad plot, quest progression is jerky at times, boring sometimes, repetitive overall. This is the only real chain quest that exists, and it is not that involved to warrant any strong interest, except perhaps the final battle, which at this time is disabled and non-functional.

One note about basic access...though free, they should in fact pay you to play. If you enjoy being tortured, play the limited access. Limit of level 10, no higher ships, weapons limited to basic, only cutlass and pistol, xp removed from every kill, two toons only, I can go on and on...the limitations will get very frustrating. Add in all the problems the game has, and even at no cost this game is still a loser.

FINAL SCORE: 2/10 - Pass on this one

There are so many problems this game will abuse you most of the time you play, in some fashion or another. It is probably best to avoid this title at all costs.

At the very least, you should NEVER pay a dime to play this game. Save your money for a game that is actually fun.

Perhaps in a few years this game might be playable. I suggest you wait until that time.

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 03/13/08

Game Release: Pirates of the Caribbean Online (US, 10/31/07)