"I'll have my people contact your people."

Contact is a game that should immediately tell you whether you'd like it or not.

...

What, you want more?

From reading the back of the game case, you're readily brought to the attention of two things.

1. This game is not your average RPG.

2. This game is has a sense of humor.

And really, that's all you need to know.

Still want more? Okay, I'm going to get the bad out of the way quickly so we can move on to the fun part.

The game takes place almost entirely on the bottom screen. It presents a semi-overhead view of Terry, the character you are controlling (we'll get to this later). There are treasure chests, NPCs, item drops from enemies, secret passages, all that stuff you know from other RPGs. Enemies are not random encounters, backgrounds are pre-rendered, battles take place in these pre-rendered backgrounds with assorted bats and snakes and soldiers and stuff you've fought a million times before in a million RPGs.

The combat? It basically sucks. It's like Runescape on autopilot in that regard (which is, surprisingly, better than Runescape not on autopilot, for the sheer fact that Runescape not on autopilot requires actually playing Runescape). You can move in and out of combat mode with B - in combat mode, you automatically attack the targeted enemy when it's in range, and you shift targets with L. However, you can't move fast. At all. A snail with cancer will outrun you in combat mode. So to run away, you shift out of combat mode with B - but, obviously, now you can't retaliate. One of the many problems with this is that running away effectively does nothing. If you want to escape, it helps. But if you want to finish your fight, running away, nay, exiting battle mode regardless of what you plan to do, will not help you 98% of the time.

Therefore, battles become a mathematical equation. However, I suck at math, so let's just say that X are your combined attributes that affect battle (HP, attack strength, etc). Y are your opponent's respective stats. Z is the amount of healing items you have. N is between 10 and 25 depending on the battle.

If X > Y, you win.

If Y > X, you lose, unless Z > N.

If you didn't follow that, the battles here are sheerly determined by stats most of the time. The rare other times are the same thing, but with interruptions every now and then where you're forced to dodge very predictable patterns. You level up stats individually as opposed to the normal "Level up, ATK +2, SPD +6, etc". I'm told this system is like 'Oblivion' and other such games I haven't played, but as I haven't played them, I cannot confirm nor deny this. Level up ATK (or whatever it's called, there are about five stats for attack power in this game) by attacking, DEF by being attacked, agility by dodging stuff, yawn. Sometimes you'll have to do this for an hour or so just to beat a boss.

There are also techs. These use a certain about of points that you accumulate by defeating enemy (maximum of five). You can, at any given time, have access to two "families" of techs. One is based on your weapon (slicing techs, smashing techs, or punching techs) and the other is based on your costume. But we'll get to costumes later.

Stats are also affected by equipment. However, equipment certainly doesn't work in a normal RPG way here. Weapons work normally, granting whatever boosts they grant and falling into one of three categories (slicing, smashing, and punching). But all other forms of "equipment" are fairly minor boosts provided by... stickers. Yes, stickers. Occasionally when defeating an enemy or opening a treasure chest, you'll find a ? Decal. Peel it off and check what stats it grants, then either apply it to Terry or discard it. You can have a total of four decals equipped at one time.

Besides these are Trick Decals, which are much more fun. There are eight in total, and they're mostly unlocked by beating a "level". Trick Decals do various things, from destroying all enemies on screen, to transporting you back to the Professor's ship, to summoning Mochi, the space dog that may someday become a cat. The problem is that these decals hardly ever help against bosses, and normal enemies are pretty much just minor annoyances. You'll find yourself using the Ship decal a lot to save time, but other than that, they're pretty much just novelty.

Your last form of equipment are costumes. These fall into two categories - elemental and job. A job costume turns you into a chef, a fisherman, or a thief, whereas the elemental suits let you cast elemental techs. You get techs from job outfits as well, but they're mostly variations of other techs you may or may not have.

If this sounds like your idea of fun, by all means, buy this game immediately. Otherwise, I'm moving on to the fun stuff.

Just kidding. Now I get to talk about graphics and sound. Ever played a SNES RPG? This looks like a moderately 3D version of that on the bottom screen, and EarthBound on the top screen. When a character from screen A moves to screen B, these mingle in a very amusing way. Regardless, the graphics are fine. The music is catchy and fun, although it does get a bit repetitive. Sound effects are the normal RPG affair - if you have ever played an RPG, you've heard these sound effects.

Now, it sounds like I don't like this game. But really, I do. And thus, we move on to the fun stuff.

At the beginning of the game, you, the player, are contacted by the Professor, via your Nintendo DS. He asks you a few questions about yourself, and then the real game starts, as he's fleeing in his spaceship from an unknown pursuer. The ship is hit, and a power cell falls to the ground, where Terry, an average teen, is snoozing. The Professor lands, retrieves the gem, and in his hurry to escape the enemy, ushers Terry onto his ship with him. However, the Professor is shot down, and the ship crashes on a deserted island. At this point, you get to control Terry, hunt down the power cells, and help the Professor.

The game is divided into several islands, most but not all of which have a power cell to be retrieved. The plot doesn't really get going until the third true island, which means I can't tell you much that wouldn't be spoilers. Which is a shame, because it means the best part of the game can't be described. At all. That part being the ending; it's an ending that threatens to completely change the way you look at games.

On that note, I can describe the characters. Besides, well, you, the player, there are three major protagonists. The Professor is an odd old man who wants to travel the world. His interests include VirtuaDiary (a spoof of LiveJournal), reading, Pong, and creating strange and/or useful inventions. Then there's Terry. Terry is a rebellious teen who doesn't talk much, but stands up for what he believes in. He's a bit of a perv, but he's overall a good, helpful kind of guy. Finally, there's Mochi. Mochi is love. Besides having the same name as those really awesome Japanese ice cream balls, Mochi is absolutely adorable, and has a 'minigame' of sorts you can play after saving, where you interact with him similar to the Tiny Chao Garden of the Sonic Advance series.

Speaking of saving, it's actually the biggest flaw with the game. Saving takes FOREVER. Granted, due to the penalty for dying being so ridiculously small, you don't have to save much, but it's still quite annoying to wait 40 seconds for the game to save. This is a DS, not a PSP.

Now, I've been over the four main components (story, gameplay, graphics, sound), and so far there's nothing to justify an 8/10 score. Here is the fun part.

The game references, among other things: Snakes on a Plane, Zero Wing, Metal Gear Solid, MySpace, Sony's E3 Press Conference (you know... giant enemy crab, Riiiidge RACER!, etc), Mario, Dead or Alive, Top Gun, and Dungeons & Dragons.

Oh yes.

The writing is absolutely superb. If you're a fan of games like Phoenix Wright or the Paper Mario series, this is right up your alley. From any random NPC's ramblings to the dramatic monologues the game claims not to have, every word seems to have been painstakingly selected to have the best possible impact. This isn't a game. This is a literary masterpiece.

Contact is love. Love is 8/10.

Reviewer's Score: 8/10, Originally Posted: 11/28/06