"(Insert witty tagline here)"

Yes, Viewtiful Joe has moved to the DS. And he has every right to. This is an awesome game for several reasons.

1. It's fairly short.
2. It's lots of fun.
3. You can beat enemies up in slow motion.
4. It surprisingly puts your brain to work.

Now! On with the words of happiness like a milkshake made of dynamite! Brush your teeth daily children!

Graphics 10/10

Oh yes. Very nice to be sure. Lovely graphics for a DS game. It tells the story in pretty detailed cut scenes merged with some still scenes. OH OH! And when slow motion is activated the screen turns all movie like at the top and bottom of the screen! Just because! It's great.

Sound 5/10

Eh. HENESHIN A GO GO BABY! That sound clip is basically the whole 5 points right there. The music isn't that great.

Gameplay 10/10

Very nice game to be sure. You're this guy who likes movies right? And you fight crime by...Oh who cares about the story? It's pretty bad anyway.

This game has a certain formula for fun. That formula is bash some enemies, solve a puzzle while bashing enemies, maybe get a power while solving the puzzle, the use that power to solve the next puzzle. Rinse and repeat.

See, this is fun. FUN FUN FUN. When you get slow motion you're unlikely to use any other power against enemies. Hell, you'll probably only use the other powers when you ABSOLUTELY have to. I mean, what's fun about moving enemies away from you? NOTHING. What's fun about slowing down time uppercutting your enemy into the air and proceeding to kick the absolute crap out of them and then having them explode and you drift back to earth and have everything return to normal speed. And then do it all over again.

EVERYTHING.

The puzzles are cleverly designed to be hard while pointing out the obvious answer. It will, honest to god, tell you which power to use in almost all of the puzzles with big bold letters. FOR INSTANCE.

A big rock is rolling toward you and WRITTEN ON THE BOULDER is the word 'SCRATCH'. So you press R and scratch away at the boulder and it falls off a cliff or something. However, sometimes the answer isn't always obvious and you have to use your BRAIN. I know, isn't it horrifying?

The boss battles are also well designed to compliment the powers you possess. For instance again, A CRAZY LADY WITH KNIVES will rush at you in a BIG WHIRLY DOOM THING OF DEATH so you slice a line across the screen which pushes her behind you and therefore makes you dodge the attack. Cool eh?

And of course slow motion allows you to bash bullets back at the owner.

All of these things contribute to what is an awesome game. The only problem is that after playing through it several times you'll get bored. It's the way of life. The first time you play through this it will take about 5-6 hours. Which will become significantly shorter after you play through it a second time.

Since the game is so short it's good to pull out in the car or in the doctor's lounge. And since every time the game automatically saves each time you finish a screen. The screens are so short that turning it off will be no problem at all. It's the best system ever created.

Remember though that putting it in chocolate milk won't bring back your dead dog. I'm sorry. He's gone.

Replayability 7/10

You'll play through it a lot. But you WILL stop.

Eventually.

Buy or Rent? BUY BUY BUY

Buy it from EB or something and if you don't like it then return it for a different game. However I doubt you will because it's so good. NOW GO MY MINIONS! BUY PLAY AND BECOME THE MASTER OF TIME!*

*Please note that buying this game may not make you the master of time and I cannot be held responsible for any crimes you commit and then attempting to reset time. Also by reading that sentence you owe me $2. Thank you for your attention. I shall sell it on E-Bay.

Reviewer's Score: 9/10, Originally Posted: 01/22/07