"Not a good way to spend $20."

Christmas is coming, and Santa needs to get millions of toys made to ship all over the world. Unfortunately, those damned union elves are demanding higher wages, health insurance, and for the corpses of previous union leaders to be removed from the factory. Santa can't take this; after all, he has toys to make. So he takes his trusty 16-pounder and sets out to teach those greedy elves the true meaning of ‘Strike'. Elf-Bowl for the DS is based off of a fun Internet game released in 1999, and its 2000 sequel involving shuffleboard. Ultimately they were fun games. The simplistic gameplay and humorous elves made for some quick fun those holiday seasons. If I were to rate those games, they would most likely get 8's or 9's. But this game gets a 2. Here's why.

Gameplay: 4
As I mentioned before, the gameplay is simple. In Elf-Bowl 1, you have a bar at the bottom of the screen. Press A when it's near the center for a strike. If you are off, you only knock down some of the elves. In Elf-Bowl 2, you have a power gauge at the bottom. If you are too strong, you will send your elf off the board, but if you are too weak you will have a bad score. The tilt of the boat can factor into how your elf goes, so you have to take that into account too. Overall, not too complicated. And in the original, it was fun. The simple rules meant that a game only lasted a few minutes, making it a great way to have some quick fun while your dad set up your toys. But when you have to pay money for it, you feel ripped off. The simplicity can get boring rather quickly, so you will probably get bored with the game in a week. Ultimately, you can spend $20 a lot more wisely.

Graphics: 2
Ugh. This makes me very disappointed in Ignition. The graphics on the original were indeed pretty lackluster, but what did you expect from some geeks working for free? 8 years later, and for a free game these still wouldn't be bad. Sure, they're pixilated. Sure, there's not much complexity. Sure, the lip-syncing isn't that good. But you didn't pay anything for it, so what's the big deal? Unfortunately, Ignition did not realize that this only applied to free games. The graphics still look simplistic, pixilated, and low quality, but now you have to pay for them. I expected them to work with N-Storm to make a better looking version for the handheld release. The DS can do a lot better than this. Hell, the GBA can do a lot better than this. It reeks of laziness.

Writing/Jokes: 6
Really, the only reason you played the game as a download was the humor. And it was good. Not Psychonauts good, but good. It's mainly slapstick, with things like pin-setters ripping off the heads of elves and such. One of my biggest problems with the game though is that they took out the gutter ball jokes. Sure, the elves still say ‘gutter ball' in a mocking tone, but the ball no longer flies off the lane and fells the deer on the side. That was hilarious in the original, and it's gone now. For shame.

Replay Value: 1
Like in the original, you can get bored with this pretty quickly. Once you've bowled a few games, you'll want to do something else. It's very simple, and it's not deep enough to hold your attention for even 1 hour continuously. For an Internet game that was fine, but if I'm paying $20 for something, I expect it to hold my attention for longer than 15 min.

Overall, this game is just not worth money. It's simple, and doesn't hold your attention that long. Don't buy it, and don't rent it. You can get all this game has and more from a free download. They added no extra content, and did not even up the graphical power. In the end, those $20 will be better spent buying you a round of bowling.

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 03/14/07