"Totally Mangled Ninja Trash"

Just because you have been licensed to develop a videogame based on a blockbuster film, doesn't mean that you have the right to cobble together some half-assed drivel and totally tarnish a good name. Unfortunately it has always been rife practice to cash-in on big name movies with every sort of merchandising possible, and with the videogame industry where it is these days, our happy medium is never safe from such lazy productions.

TMNT, short for the ever-popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, is the newest film on the block. As expected its games have gone multi-platform and as usual they are poor interactive substitutes for the real thing. The DS version is uniquely different from the rest in 2 major ways: firstly it plays out more like a rhythm-based on-rails type game, unlike its beat 'em up focused brethren; secondly it manages to win the trophy for one of the worst games I have ever played.

Visuals - 5
Sound & Music - 4
Gameplay - 2
Controls - B
Longevity - C (2 hours tops)
Replayability - F (Medals to collect.. are you kidding?)
Difficulty - Easy

Turtles - 4
VERDICT - 2.0/10

Not another movie-based videogame!
The game's level progression loosely follows the plot of the movie. The story is told in brief subtitled stills which are much too short to let you in on what it's all about. Having played this game before watching the movie, I can happily say that absolutely nothing was spoiled for me.

Over 15 short levels you will guide the turtles across the dark streets of New York City, some barren warehouse areas and of course the underground sewer systems. The 3D engine manages to show off a lot of polys at a decent framerate, but the character models are very low-res and look butt-ugly when up close. Animations are alright during the jumping sequences, but battles look terribly robotic. The biggest disappointment in the graphics area is that the environment screams out to be explored, but due to the on-rails nature of the game, it's all just a passing view.

What is this?
At first glance, TMNT looks to be a standard 3D-platformer loaded with plenty of crazy leaps of faith. The truth is half right and even worse still. On-rails action describes this game better; you move your turtle hero around some very limited spaces and upon coming across hotspots, you can press a corresponding action button to either jump left/right/center or charge up. You aren't really in control at all. If you have played PS2's Kingdom Hearts II, imagine the action-trigger sequences blown out into a full game, only looking 1/100 as pretty. This 'platformer' hardly ever requires you to even use the d-pad!

In between your bouts of random jumping, you will come across a couple of battle sections. Here you will have to face off with up to 3 bad guys at a time in a mindless button mash fest. No matter which turtle you are, the 3-hit combo followed by a quick finishing move is all you need to beat anyone down. Fights are just minor interruptions used to break up the already boring run & jump bits. There are a couple of boss battles featured here, but they all play out in a similar manner. No real strategy is required, and if you happen to have turtle-time power on hand, you can bring in your brothers to knock them out in a flash without even having to lay a hand on them, final boss included.

Each level awards you with medals based on certain conditions, such as time completion, lives used and TMNT tokens collected. With the latter task, gathering them all is a hit or miss affair; throughout the levels there are a few split paths to choose from and only some of them will lead you to these special tokens, and given that the on-rails nature doesn't allow you to backtrack, you will have to replay them from the start if you are hoping to obtain a full set. The levels are tedious enough as it is, and do you receive any rewards for your hard work? Who knows, who cares?

Heroes in a Half-baked Shell
Ubisoft is a game company which seems to work at both ends of the spectrum. The French-based company has brought us some great titles such as the Splinter Cell, Prince of Persia, Rayman games, but they have also brought out portable duds like King Kong DS and the game of question here. Clearly an inferior team is handling these productions, and if you aren't even going to try to make a good game, don't even bother.

TMNT can be commended for attempting to try something different, but when you are making a DS-specific version, it would always be nice to incorporate some touchscreen or even microphone functionality into the mix. There is nothing here that could not have been done on the GBA, apart from the mediocre 3D graphics which takes a backseat to fun any day.

As far as videogame adaptations go, this is one of the worst, but still better than King Kong DS.. barely. If you can get over the lame battles, the restricted jump-when-I-say jump 'platforming' and the complete absence of anything interesting, you are clearly nothing like me. Even though you can play as each of the foursome, they all play the same and each level already designates which one you will use. There isn't any variety to speak of. I had high hopes for the turtles' rebirth as I was a crazy fan of the cartoons and figures back when I was less than a metre tall. The TMNT may still find a way into the hearts of the children of the new millennium, but this game (along with all the other half-assed versions, GBA version withstanding) is an ominous strike number one.

2.0/10 - A disgrace

My Score System – a score of 7 from me denotes a good, solid game. Excellence earns a higher grade, whilst 4-6 reflects a below average product; glitchy, unplayable games deserve less.

30/03/07

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 03/30/07