Geometry Wars: Galaxies

"Geometry is fun! ...Wait, what?"

Are you experiencing pain and discomfort in your hands? Are your eyes dry and irritated? Are your thumbs bleeding or threatening to secede? Do you find yourself having to crack your knuckles every two minutes, and when you do it sounds like machine-gun fire? If so, you've probably been playing Geometry Wars: Galaxies.

GAMEPLAY
Anyone remember an old PC game called Asteroids? It's old enough to have had an alternate version known as EGAroids. (Man, I feel old.) In this ancient-history game, you flew a little triangular spaceship all around your computer screen, shooting at asteroids which would break into smaller asteroids, which would break into smaller ones, and so on until they were obliterated. Occasionally a UFO would appear for you to shoot at as well. Running into anything meant death. Simplistic, but fun.

I bring that game up because Geometry Wars: Galaxies could be easily summed up as "Asteroids on crystal meth." You do fly a small spaceship all over your screen, and you do shoot things, and running into anything kills you. But where Asteroids would have, at most, three or four big rocks and one or two UFOs on screen at a time, GWG literally floods your screen with legions of enemies hell-bent on your destruction. And it's delivered at a breakneck pace with mind-blowing intensity. The phrase "you can sleep when you're dead" comes to mind, as the only time it lets up at all is if you've just been splattered.

I've never played the original version of this game on Xbox Live, but the developers were nice enough to include it on this cart and I have spent some time with it. For those who have played it, this game plays very similarly, with many new enemies, a drone sidekick, and new grid layouts. For those who haven't... To say that you fly around and shoot anything that isn't you is accurate, but it doesn't convey the sense of the thing. There are around 20 different types of enemies, ranging from the aimless Wanderers (which don't even try to attack you) to the vicious Neutrons (which fly straight at you at the speed of blinking--so don't), from the resilient Asteroids (which, like the old game, break into smaller ones) to the "Oh, hell, not THREE of them" Wormholes (which spew out groups of about 15 of any other kind of enemy). No bosses to speak of, however.

Despite being somewhat simple to grasp, the game doesn't get repetitive, because every level has something new to bring to the table. You'll start off in a small box, but after that, few levels keep to that dull arrangement. You'll get enormous grids with odd spawn points, areas with jagged walls, claustrophobic corridors...the list goes on and on. Some other interesting twists come in the form of indestructible moving obstacles or levels which spawn giant versions of the enemies. This game will also keep you on your toes due to the sheer volume of enemies on screen at one time. There will literally be times when your DS screen will look like rush hour on a Los Angeles freeway on a Friday afternoon after a ten-car pileup. Fortunately you are given some handy bombs which turn everything but you to vapor. (You don't get many, though, so use wisely.)

Two other important elements are Geoms and your drone assistant. Geoms are the game's currency--you need them to unlock many of the levels and to purchase abilities for your drone. Also, collecting them ups your score multiplier, which you'll need to do if you want to earn the Gold medals. The drone assistant follows you around, doing whatever you told it to do before the current battle started, whether that's defending you, collecting Geoms, or acting like a fixed gun turret. It's not that useful at first, but the longer you play, the more it gains experience and levels up, making it a welcome sidekick later in the game. I should also mention that staying alive longer in levels gives your drone more experience and makes it more likely you'll be awarded an extra life or bomb.

CONTROLS
Easy to grasp and customizable. The game's two functions, movement and shooting, can be mapped to two of three possible inputs: the D-pad, the four face buttons, and the stylus. If for some reason you don't want to use the stylus, you can move with the pad and shoot with the buttons (or vice-versa if you're a lefty). Personally, having tried both, I prefer to shoot with the stylus, as rapidly switching shot direction seems to respond a little better that way. Any way you slice it, though, the controls are marvelously uncomplicated and well-suited to the game.

STORY
Story in this game is nonexistent. There's you, and there's about 962 billion enemies. End story.

GRAPHICS (or, Godzilla ate the Las Vegas Strip and then threw up)
Your playing field is a dim neon grid surrounded by neon walls. Your ship is an angular neon shape. Your enemies are made of (you guessed it) neon. I thought for a minute I was playing Tron. And when they say Geometry Wars, they're not kidding--you'll be harassed by all manner of squares, circles, diamonds, triangles, and ellipses, with the occasional rhombus or trapezoid thrown in for good measure. The game's secret final boss: a dodecahedron! In all seriousness, though, the graphics aren't bad. They're actually quite well-suited to the game; truthfully, hi-tech hi-res graphics wouldn't really fit. However, you'll be far too busy trying to kill everything that moves to even THINK about whether or not you like the graphics.

SOUND
Up to the task, certainly. Nothing particularly memorable, but the techno/electronica beats mesh nicely with the geometric neon graphics and the mesmerizing, insanely fast-paced gameplay. The most important sound is the gun sound effect on your spaceship. Since you WILL be hearing it nonstop, it's good that it doesn't get annoying. There is one sound you'll come to hate rapidly, however--the distorted electric buzz that means two dozen of those homing blue diamonds have just spawned and will be converging on you from all directions in three seconds.

REPLAY
Despite the simple nature of the game, you'll find yourself going back again and again to try and snag those difficult Gold medals, or just to have fun shooting thousands and thousands of enemies. Further more, single-cartridge multiplayer and an online score system add longevity. You can even connect this game to the Wii version to unlock one additional galaxy.

OVERALL
This game is a real blast to play, and it's perfect if you just need to kill time for a few minutes. It's still fun over long periods of time, too, but your hands will never forgive you if you play this for more than about 15 minutes straight.

SCORE 9/10

Reviewer's Score: 9/10, Originally Posted: 12/17/07

Game Release: Geometry Wars: Galaxies (US, 11/27/07)