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Nostalgia is a double-edged sword. Sure, it's fun to reminisce about days past and the joy they gave us. But then there's nostalgic elitists who constantly rave about the “good old days” and how everything in the modern world is mindless drivel. The nostalgia fanatics in particular have a tendency to be some of the most obnoxious douches I ever encounter. This is not to say that nostalgia is necessarily a bad thing, of course. Some of the most enjoyable titles in the gaming industry come from the retro age of 8-bit sprites and 2-note jingles. To this day, Super Mario Bros. whoops an unfathomable amount of ass. Yet there is a prime distinction between enjoying something out of nostalgia, and being completely blinded by it. Unfortunately, many gamers believe in the “original is best” theory merely due to a title being original, rather than for the merits of its actual content. Super Mario Bros. was not awesome merely thanks to its formula and revolutionary impact. It was brilliant thanks to its amazing amount of depth and challenge in spite of its primitive power. A formula alone would not have caused such a revolution in the world of interactive electronics.

As Mario's fans grew, so did Mario himself, embracing new environments and styles of play. And yet, a group of hardcore elitists remained and whined. And whined some more. Even those gamers who were willing to accept the evolution of gaming longed for a return to Mario's roots. After all, 2-D platform action was a successful formula that continued to hold up decades later, one that Mario never would have been such a sensation without. Thus, after countless 3-D outings and spin-off titles, Nintendo answered the call of its fans. New Super Mario Bros., the first true pure 2-D Mario outing since Super Mario World 15 years beforehand, was unveiled for the Nintendo DS. With 3-D graphics rendered in a side-scrolling environment, the game promised to be an old-school romp that was coated in modern technology. As Bowser once again captures Princess Peach, Mario spots his first Goomba and squishes it. The feeling of crushing a defenseless walking mushroom brings a sudden rush of nostalgia into your mind. Life is good again. Unfortunately, the joyous nostalgic feeling fades as you're left wondering where all the sweet, riveting gameplay has gone...

New Super Mario Bros. is divided into eight worlds, each complete with its own theme and overworld map to navigate between stages. Each world generally consists of a fortress or two, a castle, and numerous standard stages. All the environmental bases are covered, with stages spanning classic caverns, treacherous depths, and searing volcanoes. In addition to the standard Mario bells and whistles like coins and blocks, each stage contains three large tokens strategically tucked away in specific locations. While these trinkets are not a necessity to complete the game, collecting them will reap rewards and additional secrets. Probably one of the best assets regarding secrets that New Super Mario Bros. has going for it are the alternate exits which numerous stages have. Generally, these secret exits involve searching out hidden pipes or utilizing certain items. Once taken, alternative paths to new stages will open up on the main map that could not be accessible otherwise. The save system is peculiar and relatively broken, however. You are only permitted to save your game if you complete a castle or fortress or you pay a 5-token toll. While this is clearly a throwback to a similar requirement featured in classic Mario titles, it has a tendency to be quite annoying nonetheless.

The classic gameplay fundamentals are still here. Mario controls fluidly, leaping across chasms with ease and pouncing on enemies with precise timing. He can still bash blocks, squeeze through pipes, and kick shells into other foes. He even has a few new moves from his 3-D incarnations, including wall kicks and ground-pounding. And as always, Mario has a supply of hallucinogenic mushrooms to power him up. Yes, the classic selection of moves and power-ups remains as prevalent and versatile as ever. The Fire Flower gives you the same flame-throwing advantages as always, enabling you to fry foes with the press of a button, while there are even a few newer additions, primarily Koopa Shells and Mushrooms that both enlarge and shrink you. With the Mega Mushroom, Mario will grow to an enormous size as large as the screen, trampling over any blocks or obstacles in his path. When downsized by the Mini Mushroom, Mario will be able to squeeze through tiny corridors which he otherwise would not be able to in his standard size.

However, these newer additions appear relatively infrequently and actually have numerous drawbacks to the newness they attempt to bring to the table. Whenever you run when equipped with the Shell, for instance, you will often involuntarily initiate a spinning attack that is impossible to stop without the aid of any obstacles. Naturally, this can result in many deaths (although it is not like the game can find many other ways to kill you, but that's for a bit later). The Mega Mushroom, on the other hand, is a free pass to an effortless conquest of the game. When obtained from one of the numerous Toad shops scattered about the overworld, the Mega Mushroom becomes stored in your item storage slot. This means the item can be activated at any moment. But the utter cheapness of this item is that even boss characters can be vanquished with just one touch from super-sized Mario. Yes, this even includes the final battle. Sure, you can always resist temptation, but the fact of the matter remains that these newer additions to Mario's arsenal are purely gimmicks. I'm all for actually putting new features in a game that is entitled New Super Mario Bros., but only if the features feel refined.

This brings us to perhaps our plumber's greatest falling - This game is pathetically simple. Seriously, New Super Mario Bros is almost entirely devoid of anything reminiscent of the word “challenge”. Gone are the days where you would spend ten lives minimum attempting to cross a single chasm. Most enemies are non-threatening and require minimal platform mastery to dodge or defeat. Boss battles are an absolute joke, each requiring minimal strategy. Power-ups are everywhere. Extra lives are everywhere. The game even gives you a slot on the touch screen that enables you to store any power-up for whatever occasion you desire. The stages themselves are also relatively short, each with a checkpoint approximately halfway through. Nobody give me that “Mario games are supposed to be easy!” crap. I have played through Super Mario Bros. 3 at least fifteen times by now, and I still die one heck of a lot. Here, most of your deaths will be caused by losing control with the Koopa Shell. The Super Mario franchise was not just built on a formula. It was built on challenge, depth, and determination. Even Super Princess Peach, a game often criticized for its ease, had a greater sense of challenge than this.

This is not to say that New Super Mario Bros. does not bring its share of enjoyable elements to the table, however. In spite of many of the stages being pathetically short and simple, they nonetheless have a tendency to be fun. Nothing quite beats the pure thrill of strategically maneuvering through a Bullet Bill battle zone, attempting to out-swim a gargantuan eel that is chasing you throughout the entire stage, or riding on an airborne platform attempting to dodge numerous enemies raining from above. There are even some entertaining extras provided in the form of a multiplayer battle mode and some touch screen mini-games. The multiplayer mode involves two players scrambling to collect stars and stealing them from one another in one of multiple environments. Really not anything special, but it's amusing enough. The touch mini-games are ripped entirely out of Super Mario 64 DS, with minimal changes. While that is lazy enough to begin with, Nintendo only included about half of the mini-games. How lazy can you get? On the bright side, at least they still remain somewhat entertaining...

In spite of the game's retro side-scrolling form of play, the game's visuals are composed of fully rendered 3-D models. The DS is no beauty machine by any stretch of imagination, but while New Super Mario Bros. appears as grainy as any other 3-D title on the system, at least the colors are vibrant and are able to inject personality into the environment. White the bulk of the enemies feature some jagged edges, the visuals are sharp enough that you can make them out pretty easily. The game's audio has its ups and downs. Mario's voice is nice and crisp, while the other miscellaneous enemy sound effects are pretty delightful. The majority of the music is less-than-stellar, however. While the odd classic remix here and there is well done, most of the newer tracks simply fail to be catchy and are rather mundane. While watching the enemies actually dance to the beat of the humming found in most tracks is fairly cute and charming, it can be rather irritating at the same time by throwing off your timing.

There is no denying that old-school veterans will be able to enjoy New Super Mario Bros. for what it is - An attempted modern replication of the classic formula that made Mario the resounding sensation he is today. Unfortunately, they will not find the challenging and invigorating experience that truly puts their skill to the test. Sure, we all have missed the days of shooting fireballs at Koopas and frantically dodging Bloopers underwater, and all of that is revisited here. Yet nostalgia sets impractical expectations. For those gamers looking for something deeper and more rewarding than a replicated formula that pretends to be new yet fails to deliver the substance of past platform titles, this title may be a disappointment. Make no mistake - this game is for nostalgic value ONLY. And just because it has such aforementioned nostalgic value does not make it a fantastic game. For those looking for a more refined modern experience that recaptures the magic of classic platform titles successfully, I would seriously recommend Yoshi's Island DS, or heck, even Super Princess Peach over this. Nostalgia can be a good thing, but do not let it blind you from reality.

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 02/11/08

Game Release: New Super Mario Bros. (US, 05/15/06)