"It's pretty, but beyond that I'm unimpressed"

Allow me to preface this review with the ever-dreaded statement of "I have never played a Ninja Gaiden before this". The fanboys are going to hate me for this, I realize. And actually, it's not entirely true; I played Ninja Gaiden for the NES when I was about ten years old. I remember it being fun, but almost indistinguishable from Shinobi. I have not, however, played the more recent XBox titles, and I know that some feel that is essential to enjoying this game. I choose to judge Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword on its own merits, not on those of its predecessors.


Graphics: 10/10
Wow. This is where the game absolutely shines like the sun. I had seen gameplay video of this game online before I ever played, and they did not do it justice. This game has quite possibly the best graphics I've seen on the DS. The polygons are very detailed, even at a distance, and the pre-rendered backgrounds are eye-poppingly beautiful. The only area the graphics seem to falter are the early bosses....the first boss, a Red Dragon, looks more like a pokemon than any threatening demonic fiend. Still, overall this game delivers on the eye candy.

Storyline: 6/10
I won't lie, it was boring and after Chapter Two, I didn't pay attention. Something about Ryu's friend/apprentice Momiji being captured by Fiends, and Dark Dragonstones, and yadda yadda yadda. It has a very generic ninja anime storyline, and I don't personally care for anime. Younger Japanophiles and Otaku might geek out over the storyline on this one, but seriously, it didn't hold my attention. By Chapter Three, I couldn't even tell you why I was in the Monastery, and by Chapter Four I had skipped so much of the story, tapping through the dialogue, that I didn't care. If that means this is a bad review in your opinion, so be it. All I know is this game took me maybe seven hours to beat, I had no idea what was going on by the end, and I didn't really care. But it sure was pretty.

Music/sound: ?/10
Couldn't tell you. 95% of the time I play my DS, I'm at work and I cannot hear my DS. I cannot honestly tell you whether this game has good sound or not, I'm sorry. Hey at least I'm honest.

Gameplay: 3/10
Ugh. Just plain ugh. Ninja Gaiden: DS tried to adapt the Stylus-Only control scheme that Zelda: Phantom Hourglass so perfectly enacted, and they got it totally wrong. My first complaint is that Ryu is slightly a pain to control outside of combat. This is because he's walking in a 3D plane, and the stylus is not a 3D tool. It's not that bad, though....just takes some trial and error, and a little getting used to.

My second complaint is combat itself. You read the manual, you go through the tutorial levels, and you learn all of these awesome combos you can do with the stylus, and you get really psyched. Then you enter combat, and it's all thrown RIGHT out the window. The combos only work in certain exact situations, and half of the time the situation isn't right for the move you want to use. The other half, your move just doesn't register. Of course, sometimes, a move will trigger when you don't WANT it to! Seriously, several times I've gone to do a simple sideways slash and SOMEHOW ended up triggering a move where I grab an enemy, leap into the air, and then beat them down to the ground. Yet when I TRY to do that, I can't.

Of course then there's the whole aforementioned stylus in a 3D setting problem, only during combat. This tends to be a minor annoyance in most areas, but a crippling deficit in others. There have been bossfights where the plane of action was angled to a point where I couldn't move anywhere but side to side. I would learn (too late) that if I'd tapped about two pixels higher, I could have rolled behind the boss. But no, I tapped too low, and moved a half-step sideways.

And yet, despite all of this, the game is weirdly easy. Combine all of these problems, and I will tell you right now how to beat the game. Have you ever had a pen run out of ink, so you scribble on the paper quickly, trying to get the ink to start? Pretend your stylus is a pen out of ink. Touch it to the screen. Repeat for about 7 hours. Done. There's not really any skill or finesse involved in this game once you get into it. Maybe a little for the boss fights, but not really.

Overall: 6/10
I give this game a 6 because of the definitions set out by GameFAQs, not by an average of the subscores. This game is "Fair - game is okay, but there are many better". Maybe I'm just an old crotchety gamer who's getting harder and harder to impress, but this game is really a swing-and-a-miss for me. It's not terrible, it's really not. Is it worth dropping $35 for, brand new? Ugh, not at all. If I hadn't gotten the sweet Dragon Sword stylus for preordering (worth probably $15 in and of itself...this thing is actually REALLY quality merch), I would really regret paying that price. But if a few months down the line you see it for $19.99 or less, then give it a try. It's easily the most beautiful game out for the DS right now, and that alone should be worth some interest. But inspired yet ultimately failed controls and gameplay just makes this game a really pretty dud, in my book.

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 03/31/08

Game Release: Ninja Gaiden Dragon Sword (US, 03/25/08)