"when I'm old and complaining about "nintendo wounds", this is the game that will come to mind."

After putting off writing a review for this game and saving it for a rainy day for about eight months, I've finally decided to write up an honest opinion about the DS version of the game that changed my life. And yet, people /still/ won't care.

Starfox, as anyone who has read my previous reviews (which I doubt) was the first game I ever experienced. And it did change my life--I decided the moment I saw that game that I was born to fly. I suppose the aviation themed decor around my house also may have influenced that, (the little plane that balanced on a stick especially ^^) but this game helped it along.

Now, in 2006 (well, it's actually 2008 now, but whatever...) they've taken another stab at what I like to call "The Half-Hearted Series That Could Have Been". But that wouldn't fit on the box, so they just stuck with Starfox Command. It's more of a cult video game--you have to be sentimental to love this game. Even though you're loving every second of watching Fox's burning plane plummet to the ground because you hate his guts, it's so nostalgic, just like it was way back when. The only difference is there are two teeny screens now, instead of just one teeny screen. (Just keep that in mind, kiddos--big screen TVs may look cooler, but back in the 90s, we would live if our TVs fell on us.)

I've yet to figure out why they do the little mumble-y voices instead of real ones. I mean, what is it with handhelds that just screams "not good enough for real voices"? Don't you think on big screen games, they could print the words big enough so we could read them ourselves, but on these teeny little screens, our eyes would appreciate it if the game read the words to us? There are thousand and one voice actors that would have been perfect for every role. Owen Wilson could voice Fox, Arnold Schwarzenegger could voice Wolf, and Frank Welker could voice Slippy and Pigma. And that's just a start; imagine who we could get for Falco Lombardi.

This game only fueled my violent nature. In this game, literally EVERY button is the 'fire' button. Except start, of course. That pauses the game. Now, if you give someone a game and say "every button makes your plane shoot," that's either going to make them really happy or make them write a bunch of really stupid and pointless protest speeches that don't get them anywhere. In fact, I think the reason they still make violent video games is for those complain-y weirdos. I mean, if they just shut up and stop saying that Spongebob Squarepants is too metrosexual and beyond and Halo is too violent, we'd probably get bored of all that stuff pretty quickly. Well, we'd pretend to be bored of it; only to tick off the guys who made the speeches. Because nobody gets bored of blowing chunks out alien invaders. NOBODY.

The stylus is the main way of moving your plane. And doing anything, really. You can set the controls to inverted or normal, and if you grew up on the same video games I did, we didn't get a choice. It was inverted or you crashed into a wall. So most everyone is going to want to use inverted controls. But it's nice to know you have to option of using normal controls; where up is actually up and down is actually down. You also have the option of setting the voices to--how creepy is this--your own mumble-y voice. It'll ask you a series of random questions (it didn't like my long, drawn out answers) so it can reproduce all the perks of your voice. Sorta like in Mission: Impossible III, only it doesn't shoot you, drag you off and threaten to drop you out of an airplane when it's done.

Another cool thing is Wi-Fi. You can play against your brothers who don't know the difference between 'enemy plane' and 'skyscraper', or against people who have the game and know what they're doing in like...Luxembourg. HA! You thought I was going to write Japan or China, because everyone says that. BUT NOT ME! I don't know if this is just mine or not, but once in a while with DS-to-DS Wi-Fi, I'll see my brothers plane driven into a mountain, while he still sees himself flying around on his own nintendo. The best part is, I can shoot at the stationary mountain ornament, and it'll still do damage to him. :D

So Starfox Command was pretty cool. It's like one of those games you play in full view of everyone while you're waiting for a movie to start at the theater. Then you can say "oh yeah. That's right. I'm playing a game where I shoot down enemy planes. You just wish you were playing a game as cool as this."

Just don't mention the main characters are a bunch of talking, cartoon animals.

Reviewer's Score: 7/10, Originally Posted: 07/21/08

Game Release: Star Fox Command (US, 08/28/06)