Pokemon Dash

"The company who made this should just let Game Freak do all the work."

When I bought Pokemon Dash, I was pretty excited because I was a "Pokemon kid" back then. Well, the first few levels are amazing, but after that...

eh...

Pokemon Dash has got to be the LAMEST EXCUSE of a Pokemon game I've ever seen! Once you get to the final cup even the NORMAL difficulty CPUs are going to lap you. If you have a GBA game 'you' can make courses out of your Pokemon.... the problem is, those courses are ridiculously hard and the terrain is computer-generated. Also it requires you to beat the NORMAL GP which is pretty much IMPOSSIBLE to anyone who doesn't have extremely fast skill and reflexes.

After you beat the whole game you finally see the credits, then it challenges you to HARD GP. Well all it seems like to me is that the CPUs just got a huge advantage over you. Unlike the Mario Kart series (which the company who made this crappy game probably copied) YOUR speed doesn't rise with the competition; THEIR speed rises and YOU literally are still moving 1 km/h. The pads help to a certain extent but it just gets too boring finding the right one if you missed it.

What else that ticks me off is that you can ONLY play as Pikachu. That's redundant, idiots. Also, the balloons have got to be the most worthless piece of nothing I've ever seen. What would've been a great shortcut is made worthless for the fact that you can pop your balloons to make you literally go 9000 km/h, but there's literally no grass in the last levels of the game that you can even pop ONE balloon to safely land on.

The company who made this stupid game also forgot one major flaw: Base Speed. Let's take Munchlax for example. It has less than.. I think 20 base speed. Pikachu has.. I think 95. Then tell me why the heck would Munchlax run at the SAME speed as Pikachu?! Isn't Munchlax so slow it can't even lift a finger in five minutes?

Also, the game is glitched. Lapras can 'split' into INFINITE copies although there is only one Lapras in view of the human... er, Pokemon, eye. Also, the map is incredibly inaccurate and the arrows don't help at all - one moment it's flashing red and then the next moment it's telling you to go back. Additionally, there is too much water. Do they expect us to rely on Lapras 24/7? If they do, I'm blaming them for overuse of Pikachu and Lapras.

Basically, all this ranting I did just makes you understand the moral already: There are a million other great Pokemon games for the DS. Forget Pokemon Dash and get Ranger, Diamond, Pearl, Platinum, Ranger: Shadows of Almia, PMD Blue, PMD Time, PMD Darkness.. basically any Pokemon game for the DS that's not titled "Pokemon Dash."

Fun: 1/10
Easiness: 1/10
Diversity: 1/10
Freedom: 1/10

Overall rating: 1/10

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 07/28/09

Game Release: Pokemon Dash (US, 03/14/05)