WarioWare: Touched!

"DS = Dull Sequel?"

So, here we are, four months into the revolution of gaming, and I'm no longer entirely sure why I have this $150 hunk of plastic. I'm sure Nintendo made it with the best of intentions, but frankly when they shovel games like this onto the system I'm really not sure how much longer I'll be able to maintain my patience. The newest entry into the hyperactive Nintendo francise basically exists for the sake of argument: "There, you've got Wario on DS. Now shut up." It brings nothing new to the party.

To those of you who have never played Wario Ware before, think of it like a game of Mario Party, only infinitely more likely to be finished during your lifetime. You do tons of minigames really fast, and the main challenge of the game consists of a.) figuring out what the hell you're supposed to do and b.) doing it in the five or so seconds provided.

Now see, there's nothing inherently wrong with the formula itself. Wario Ware Touched! just got it wrong is all. It adds nothing new and it doesn't retain the freshness of the original. Whereas the Gamecube iteration at least brings you the same old minigames with four-player simultaneous insanity, the DS version just screams "LOOK! MINIGAMES! ACT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE!"

Another problem is the company the game keeps on store shelves. To date, the only AA title for DS is Super Mario 64, and that's lowering the bar quite a bit. 64DS features a plethora of minigames in supplement to the original game. The second-best game on the system is Feel the Magic XX/YY which is, you guessed it, more minigames. Adding a third minigame love-fest to the roster is not what I'd call a diversified release schedule.

Further reducing the game's appeal, the minigames aren't even that original anymore. There are a number of them re-purposed from the original Wario Ware, and a startling number of new games which strongly resemble minigames found in the other two minigame compendiums on DS.

GRAPHICS:
All over the map. I would have liked to see a more competent blending of 2D and 3D elements, but the mix of styles (from photorealistic to 3D to 8-bit) works in the game's favor. Animation is pretty rough though, and I think that deserves improvement. It's sad, when the DS does 3D it's such a pleasant surprise that it causes instant disappointment the moment the pretty little polygons flee the screen.

SOUND:
A bit fuzzy, but it's neat to have full vocals in some songs and random voice clips now and again. Not quite up to the first game's standards but 9-Volt's category (old-school Nintendo games) pleases the ear. Ashley (a new character) has a morbid little theme song with vocals throughout, which is impressive until it gets annoying.

PLAY CONTROL:
Once again, the main selling point of the DS continues to confuse us. The formerly simple play control of Wario Ware is complicated exponentially by the touch-screen controls, as is the case in pretty much every other DS game.

In the original game, if a minigame was giving you trouble, generally touching the A button or using the D-pad would give you some clue as to what you were supposed to be doing. Even if you were completely inept, your bumbling would eventually lead you to figure out the minigame.

With the DS version, you generally have no idea where to touch onscreen or what you're supposed to do at the onset. The vague one-word hints are no longer sufficient when you have two screens to keep track of and many more possible ways to interact with the screen. Some games you will have to fail at least a half-dozen times before you grasp the general concept of the game. They try to alleviate this confusion by grouping the games into categories (for instance, all the 'blow into the mic' games comprise one category, and all the 'just rub the screen really fast like a moron' games take up another), which helps in the short-term but in the long run just makes gameplay more monotonous.

And even then, the timer is unbalanced. On some of the more mind-numbingly easy games (for instance, the ones that involve blowing into the microphone) they give you a nice long chunk of time to figure out which part of your face the air comes from (that was sarcasm) while on more difficult games you get as little as one second to find out what you're supposed to do and get it done. So yes, it's harder than previous games, but you're at the mercy of confusing game design.

One plus: The game gives you the option of left- or right-handed play, and it actually mirrors the minigames so they make sense in either direction, which is a very nice touch.

DS FEATURES:
You know, maybe I'm just stupid or something, I foolishly assumed the built-in microphone for the DS would be used for voice-activated gaming or VoIP-style voice communication during multiplayer games. By this I mean ENOUGH WITH THE BLOWING MINIGAMES ALREADY! Other than that, the game makes decent (if unimaginative) use of the touchscreen, and there are a few games where the dual screens comprise one large play area, and those are neat. But sadly, no wireless multiplayer to be found.

REPLAY VALUE:
You could beat the game, seriously, in the time it takes to get it home from the store. After that, you still haven't seen quite all of the minigames, but it makes no difference because the game's formula is tired already. There's no dedicated multiplayer mode, there are only a few unlockables (most of which are more lame DS tech demos, like we haven't seen enough of those already) and the strict adherance to the formula--play minigames, four lives, unlock stuff--renders it even more unnecessary. The game's charm wears off fast.

OVERALL:
Disappointingly short. It does nothing that the other games haven't, aside from introducing a plethora of new (and obtuse) control schemes. On its own merits, it's not such a bad game, and would be worth a playthrough were it not A.) a stale sequel to a successful francise, B.) an unnecessary collection of minigames for a console that doesn't any more and C.) painfully short and no longer original. These factors drag the score down to a 4 out of 10.

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 02/22/05