Pokemon Dash

"Is Pikachu even trying anymore?"

When Sony announced the Playstation, Nintendo didn't seem phased. Even as the Big N watched as their lifelong rival Sega get crushed almost instantly in both the US and Japan by the monster they created, they weren't phased. Even when Sony challenge The Big N in the portable field, Nintendo's home-field advantage for more than 10 years, The Big N just twiddled their thumbs. Come on, Nintendo! Take things seriously and go at Sony with everything you got! Unfortunately, this game lacks everything the N has. If this game isn't proof that 1) Nintendo has a major kiddie side and 2) when it comes to Pokemon, the Big N can come out with any crappy game and everyone will eat it up, then I don't know what is.

Gameplay: You rub the touch screen with your stylus to make Pokemon characters run, swim, and travel through the air via balloon. The Pokemon you race against are limited. One reason this game gets old quickly. When it comes to what makes racing games fun, usually people look for realistic racing (which this game is not in any way realistic unless you live in Disney World) or crazy-fun Koopa Troopa Spiked-Shell throwing chaos (coughmariokartdscough). Foot racing games have failed some many times before, why would anyone want one so mundane and limited in gameplay and action? Cause it's Pokemon!

Music: I've realized that music is an important aspect to games. It's the reason why I can't stop playing Mega Man Anniversary Collection. About the only thing this game has going for it is the music, which reminds me of the music from the mini-games from the N64 Stadium titles. Which isn't saying much for this game. Unlike the sounds and music from the GB adventures (even the Trading Card Game for Game Boy), this music isn't anything you'd want to remember. Let's hope Diamond & Pearl's music is in a different direction.

Graphics: Either love em' or hate em'. Compared to the PSP, you'd hate em', but I didn't compare them to Sony's little sister Playstation. I found the graphics did just what they were meant to do: please Pokemon Fans, such as myself. You can easily tell a Pikachu from a Mightyena from a Meowth from a rock in this game, but as far as every other kind of gamer is concerned, somethings on the screen may look like blobs and splotches with legs. Being bird's-eye view didn't help either, since the scenery is limited and everything looks repetitive. Don't even think about getting off track for any shortcuts or just to see "what's out there" (like going off track to visit Peach's Castle in Mario Kart 64). These graphics won't impress.

Replay: None.

Ok, seriously, I didn't keep this game (more like refused to keep this game) long enough to get into the map editing (you're supposed to be able to create maps based on Pokemon sprites from your Emerald game, but someone yold me Ruby & Sapphire work to. I doubt it.) Maybe if you can find other people who are willing to rub the screen running till it hurts, the two to four of you can have enough fun for at least a half of person.

Overall: Don't be the only one playing this title when everyone else is playing Mario Kart DS...unless you want to stand out and be different. Seriously, are you that desperate for Diamond & Pearl that you'll play anything that shouts "Pika!" at the top of its voice like it was Timmy from South Park?!

Score: 4
(3 for every reason I had +1 for being "Pokemon -_-0)

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 04/11/05