"Sugar, Spice, And Savage Umbrella Beatings"

Much of the media hype (such as it is) surrounding Super Princess Peach is harping on the fact that Peach is rescuing Mario this time, as opposed to the other way around. While this role reversal certainly breaks with Nintendo's traditional formula, it's not like Peach has been hidden in a closet for all these years. She was a very useful member of the team in Super Mario Bros. 2, practically indispensable in the Super Mario RPG, and I use her often in Mario Kart, Golf, and Tennis. And who can forget her warped relationship with an amorous supercomputer in Paper Mario 2? Plumbers, dragons, computers... they all love the princess. And with such shining endorsements in her corner, Peach finally gets to take the main stage.

Writing this review is actually rather difficult. (More difficult than beating the game, oddly enough.) This is because most people will be able to review the game for themselves after taking a look at the box. After a quick inspection, most gamers will make the following assumptions:
"This game is probably really easy."
Yes. Yes, it is.
"I bet this game will be disgustingly cutesy."
Right again.
"I'll wager that the music is aggressively cheerful, and walks a dangerous line between catchy and annoying."
Wow, you guys are good!
"It's probably pretty fun, though."
It is. And that's what counts in the end.

Super Princess Peach falls into one of my all-time favorite genres - the 2-D platformer. I know that some companies (I won't name any names, but one of them rhymes with 'Sony') think 2-D games are passe; the software equivalent of disco music and leg warmers. But a lot of us old fogies still get pretty excited over them, and this game will not disappoint in that regard. Dou want to jump across chasms? Do you want to hop on enemy's heads? Do you want to collect coins? It's all here. Viva nostalgia.

With Mario and the Toads in Bowser's clutches, it's up to Peach to save the day. (The story is a little more detailed than that, but really, who cares?) Besides the usual head-hopping platformer antics, she has two major weapons at her disposal: her umbrella, and her emotions. Her umbrella can be used to smack the bad guys around, or to scoop them up and toss 'em. You can also buy special powers for it using your coins, including a downward smash attack and (naturally) a temporary floating ability. Oddly enough, Peach buys her powers from a Toad at his shop. Can somebody please explain to me why a Toad would charge his own princess for abilities she might need to rescue Mario and his friends? Is he that hard up for money? Is the Mushroom Kingdom so destitute that Peach needs to beat up Koopas just to have some spending cash? So many questions.

Sometimes, though, even an umbrella just isn't enough. Thankfully, Peach can tap into her emotions, Incredible Hulk-style, and put them to good use. All it takes is a tap of the appropriate heart on the touch screen, and Peach can become elated, upset, or enraged. Some might find the concept of an over-emotional heroine to be a bit sexist, but I personally don't look for deep social statements in games where magical princesses battle evil turtles. Your mileage may vary. Anyhow, each emotion causes various effects. For example, when Peach gets upset and cries, she runs really quickly, and sheds buckets of tears that can be used to grow plants or move water wheels. Alternately, Peach can tap into her rage and become a ball of fire, which burns down wooden objects and scares away certain enemies and obstacles. Happy Peach is so giddy that she floats and spins in the air, helping you reach higher ground and move pinwheel-type devices. Lastly, there's mellow Peach, which simply allows her to slowly regain health. All of these emotions drain her 'vibe bar,' or whatever it's called, but Peach can refill it by finding blue gems, or by feeding enemies to her umbrella. (Yes, her umbrella is alive. Just like Link's hat in The Minish Cap. I'd be scared to sit in a chair in Nintendoland.) You'll use the various emotions to solve extremely obvious puzzles, and to defeat bosses and other baddies.

As you've probably heard, this game is easy. Really, really easy. Peach has a lot of health at her disposal (and can earn even more!), and if you somehow happen to run low, you can simply use the calmness emotion to refill your heart containers. Should you somehow manage to actually die (falling into a pit, for example), you'll just restart at that part of the level with no penalty. This game is obviously intended to be an easy-going bit of portable fun that doesn't want to frustrate you, and in a way, it's sort of welcome. The last thing I need on the train ride to work is a finger-bending challenge that makes smoke erupt from my ears. If Peach ever gets her own console game, though, let's hope she gets more of a workout. The game is not especially long, but there are a lot of bonus puzzles and mini-games for you to buy at the Toad shop. None of these features are particularly diverting, but no portable title was ever made worse by featuring extra bonus games.

Graphically, Super Princess Peach is a bit of a letdown. I get the impression (perhaps incorrectly) that this was a GBA game that was thrown back into the oven and partially 'DS-ified' to make it seem more current and desireable. This doesn't really bother me, since the game cost as much as it would have on the GBA anyhow, but graphics-hounds might be miffed. It's certainly colorful and pleasant enough to look at; I just expected more flash from what is essentially a 64-bit 2-D platformer. Musically, you get the usual assortment of jaunty little songs that platformers have been using for decades. How do composers still manage to come up with new songs for this stuff? You'd think that every possible melody has probably been used by now.

Some industry folks will probably wonder if Peach is now a viable video game star. I say that she is, even if it is mostly crossover from Mario fans. I admire Nintendo's tact in keeping Peach as a wholesome and charming character, which is a refreshing change from the oversexualized women in most video games that make us gamers look like pathetic hormonal goobers in the mainstream media. Any woman that's willing to pick up her umbrella and go save her man is all right in my book.

I'm sure a lot of guys won't go near this game, because of the 'girliness' factor. And hey, that's your thing. Nintendo's OTHER super-heroine (the grittier one with the plasma cannon on her arm) has a game coming out soon, too. But platformer buffs should give Peach a spin, even if they'll barely break a sweat in the process. The game has a simple charm that is sure to please the right audience.

Reviewer's Score: 7/10, Originally Posted: 03/06/06