Contra: The Alien Wars

"Hyena? Fluffy Hyena?"

Sheesh, what an awful game! While I might have excused a ''generic'' game and given it a seven rating, anything with the name of the legendary Contra on it gets examined more harshly. There are only a few bad Contra games I've played; Contra Force, and this badly done Contra Spirits rip-off.

Graphics (six out of ten)

The graphics in this game are BLAND. Yes, I know it's an old black-and-white system with a sub-par (below 8-bit standard) graphics system, but I've seen GREAT stuff from the Game Boy. Contra Spirits' dark look did NOT translate well. The backgrounds are stale; unlike Operation C they aren't animated. The game doesn't have the standard Contra smoothness, and the explosions are cheap. All the weapons are dot-shooters. Wounded enemies don't flash; to us old gamers a flashing enemy is quite satisfying for some reason. It isn't THAT bad; meaning you probably won't want to bite your Game Boy in half because of it, but most graphics teams can do better.

Sound (four out of ten)

Hyenas have very sensitive ears; their round shape catches a lot of sound. And they can hear a good range of frequencies. And by the way, the sound in this game is awful. Garbage. Etc. There's a reason why 8-bit music and 16-bit music are in different styles. 8-bit systems don't have very powerful sound systems, so they go for a good tune with a strong lead, good bass accompaniment, and a good beat. 16-bit systems have more ''instruments'' and more channels, so they go for the more ''atmospheric'' approach, instead of a straight tune. Putting 16-bit tunes on an 8-bit system sounds HORRIBLE! This game tries to be Contra Spirits and fails miserably; they should have sequenced new music for this game. Oh, and the SFX are awfully generic; I've heard better from the Game Boy.

Gameplay (five out of ten)

You call this garbage CONTRA? The game is slow and choppy, the exact opposite of the whole series! The action is stunted and some enemies mysteriously require about five direct hits to kill. The weapons are toned down way too much. The machine gun fires too slowly, the spread gun doesn't spread enough; only the flamethrower actually feels the way it should be. Oh, and you only get one weapon, and the laser is GONE! There aren't enough enemies and they aren't fast enough. This game is simply boring, dull, and all that stuff. It has no thrill in it! Operation C captured the Contra-ness very well, this Contra Spirits port does NOT. The only GOOD thing is that the overhead stages are back to their old, eight-directional self, which means no more awkwardly pawing at the shoulder buttons. Still, that one change doesn't make up for the sheer flatness of the rest of the game.

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 02/27/03, Updated 02/27/03