"Now this is just ridiculous..."

Now this is just a ridiculous attempt at a game. It will forever etch into your mind what a bad game really is. Odds are that you have never heard of this game. And there is a very good reason why.

For those of you who don't know what this is (God bless your souls), it's a side scroller game featuring Barbie. Heh, heh. I popped this into my GBA and now I wished I never did.

Gameplay 1/10

You're going to need a hammer to play this game. You see, the game features Barbie jumping from platform to platform. You jump by pressing the A button, but Barbie can be a typical pixelated girl and decide not to jump, thinking she knows it all. Other times, the game doesn't seem to get your message and Barbie waits there, getting pummeled by brooms. Brooms as an enemy? What are they going to do, take over the world by sweeping it squeaky clean? That was just a horrible idea. At least a bad person or something, but no, it has to be a broom. This should really reinvent the gaming industry. We can cut down on violence in video games by implementing brooms. What kind of nutcase thought of that? Plus, about the jumping theory, Barbie can try to jump all she wants from platform to platform with her pixelated legs, but the odds are very low that you will actually beat the game. This is an emotional strain on your batteries and you will buy another pack of batteries, wondering why you wasted your time playing this game in the first place. Barbie's gonna need some help saving the mall. And why would you want to save the mall from killer brooms, anyway? The most they could do is not sweep up the floor, but a vacuum could do that. Even with a vacuum at hand, Barbie won't be able to make it across. She's going to need to call some backup on her Barbie cell phone, and the backups going to be a security officer from the White House, carrying her across from platform to platform. In all, the entire concept of what Barbie does was made for little kids at the least, but the story would have been awesome if they had switched the brooms with enemies, made the plot thicker, and actually allowed Barbie to jump. A dismal effort at best.

Graphics 4/10

At least the graphics are halfway good. The platforms look good for a side scroller game, but the problem with that is that there are practically billions of platforms in this game. Coupled with the fact that Barbie can't jump, makes it annoying. Barbie looks good on the game, but it gets a little muddy when she jumps. Well, I guess they figured that you wouldn't notice because you die so often. The brooms look like brooms and don't get choppy, but you'll have more of a chance of jumping to another platform on the GBA because you can't see crap on the GBC until you're under it, it's in front of you, or you're over it.

Controls 3/10

The controls could have gotten a very decent grade if it wasn't for one thing- the games response time. Sadly, the game seems to need a ton on the A button in order for Barbie to jump. The D-Pad is too sensitive and is often the cause of Barbie walking off the edge, but what is your other choice, jumping off the edge?

Replay Value 1/10

This also would have had a higher grade if the moronic angle of this game didn't overshadow the very good parts and what-would-have-been good parts. As mentioned before, the moronic plot and delayed action times really make this game unenjoyable, and the lack of any real strategy in this game makes it a snooze-fest. You can't even JUMP correctly, what is there left to play? You can gawk over the below-average scenery around you, but you will be murdered by unanimated objects, such as flying brooms. They don't even touch the floor, man.

Buy or Rent? Avoid.

Avoid. Avoid, avoid, avoid. Avoid like the plague. If your friend asks you to play a Barbie game, ask which one it is.

In conclusion, the only thing this is good for is torturing your younger sibling by saying that you'll give 'em money if they beat this game. Save your money for any other game.

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 04/08/04