Naruto: Ninja Council

"A crappy licensed anime game? Seriously?"

I'll be the first to say that I'm not a big Naruto fan. I watched about 10 episodes and couldn't really stomach any more. The characters are shallow and pedantic, the plot is elementary and the writing is overall akin to something marketed to a pre-teen on American shores; why the anime has garnered such a rabid fanbase is completely beyond me. It would be something like if Teen Titans suddenly developed tremendous cult success in Japan and fansubbing groups throughout the nation scrambled hastily to bring fans the next episode every week. There's nothing wrong with liking a simple, cheap shounen (male-targeted action anime), but the commonplace proclamations of "best anime ever" are ridiculous.

And though Naruto may not be the "best anime ever", it certainly is one of the most lucrative ones; when a show has such a vocal and active fanbase, you've gotta cash in on it. Thus, the influx of Naruto products in both Japan and the United States has been overwhelming. Toys, clothing, those little headbands, and -- what else? -- video games. There are well over 20 Naruto titles in Japan, but the first one to ever be localized for English speakers is Naruto: Ninja Council. The game was created three years ago and has only just been translated, which is a little bit unusual. Surely Naruto fans have been clamoring for a title such as this, but alas, Ninja Council's dated nature makes it not only a chore to sit through and play, but also an overall waste of time and money.

See, ninjas are cool for a reason. They're silent, nimble, seemingly invincible and have a variety of simple-yet-badass gadgets at their disposal. These black-clad warriors have been the subject of many a video game, in genres ranging from stealth action to RPG. Unfortunately, the first grave flaw is that Naruto makes a pretty crappy ninja. His personality, which is a typical shounen meld of "I can't give up!" and "I'm an annoying little rat turd!", hardly makes him an appealing character. Your character's demeanor shouldn't make much of a difference in playing a video game, but let's take another ninja aspect that he fails at into consideration: the tools of the trade. In this platform adventure, Naruto's weaponry and moveset are both utterly boring. He can get three different types of shuriken, none of which are really that special except one can shoot upwards and horizontal at the same time. There are some rather blatantly-placed scrolls that he can pick up to employ elemental attacks, but these are slow and useless and only good for utility purposes. Finally, Naruto can whip out three Jutsus against his foes in a system just as flawed as the rest of the game itself.

In order to use a Jutsu, Naruto has to stand completely still in one place while he charges up the meter. The game makes you invincible to projectile attacks while you do this, which is kind of nice (if not rather odd); unfortunately, it still leaves you open to certain types of damage, like other opponents' Jutsus. Thus, using these against bosses is extremely difficult, considering how Jutsu-happy they usually are. There are three levels of Jutsus, set up in ascending degrees of power based on how long you charge for. Harem Jutsu is ultimately useless because it doesn't work on bosses, so all you can really do with it is kill off a few weak enemies that you can just punch to death anyway. The Shadow Clone Jutsu and Naruto Uzumaki Barrage are fundamentally similar, except the latter does slightly more damage. What makes these two Jutsus so frustrating is that you can't turn around while charging or using them, which means that if your opponent so much as moves behind you while you're charging then you're basically screwed. COOL.

But that's just during boss fights, which are one of the most agitating parts of the Naruto: Ninja Council. They start out pretty tame, with most of your opponents falling to just a few mashed B buttons, but at one point or another they become hellaciously difficult. For instance, you fight Rock Lee at not one but TWO points in the game. Rock Lee isn't terribly difficult, except for the fact that he can heal himself to FULL LIFE without any warning or explanation. You cannot interrupt or predict this move. Yeah, that's just great...now I have to spend more time locked in this awful excuse for a combat. Considering your character doesn't have any ability to restore his life, other than finding hidden Sakuras or Hinatas strewn throughout the level (by the way, they're invisible), you'd better have full life before going into any of these bosses.

To move away from these super-agitating one on one duels, the rest of the game is a generic and uninteresting platformer affair. Taking into consideration the boring weaponry previously mentioned, you probably aren't going to have much fun killing the enemies strewn throughout the levels. Likewise, the levels themselves exhibit very little variety. There aren't any of the bells and whistles that give most platformer levels character...all you'll be doing is jumping over stuff, putting out fires, and running up walls. None of the stages play differently at all, except for the music, which is some of the worst I've ever heard on the Game Boy Advance. It literally sounds as if it was ripped straight from an original Game Boy game, and even then I've heard better from that system than this. But I digress -- because there is no incentive to kill your opponents, such as a power-up or even health increases, you can either pass them all by or just be miserably bored and unfulfilled as you waste them.

In order to add a little longevity to the game, Tomy threw in a few extras. First off, there are 100 leaf symbols scattered throughout the game, and if you manage to pick them all up on the course of your quest you unlock...the Sound Test. What the hell? All that work and stopping at random detours just to access a bunch of music that really sucks anyway? It's more of a punishment than a reward. If that's not your speed, then you can also play as two different characters. Naruto may not be doing it for you, so you can try out little angst-ball Sasuke instead. Problem is, nothing sets him apart from Naruto at all, except he moves a little faster and his Jutsus are God-awful. If you can actually bring yourself to beat the game with these two losers, then you'll unlock Kakashi, who moves faster and is stronger than both of those characters so you can go through the game with a little bit less pain.

But in the long run, no amount of extras could have saved this game from its destiny. As per anime game tradition, Naruto: Ninja Council is a nightmare from start to finish, proving itself to have absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Punching around a few goofy-looking ninjas might be entertaining for about ten minutes, but at the end of the day you'll be wishing you never even started this game.

Believe it!

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 05/30/06