Pitfall: The Lost Expedition

"This game makes me cry."

I got this game in a bundle pack that came with a GBA SP Pearl, The Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past/ Four Swords, and this game. Pitfall. That game with Pitfall Harry and him killing everything. Yeah, well, even if you get to punch monkeys in the face, this game still sucks.

GRAPHICS- This is the best part of the game. Wicked detailed backgrounds, colorful sprites, great animations. I think Torus Games spent a lot of time on the graphics to make you think that the game is actually good. Still, some of the best on the GBA. 10/10

SOUND- Uh...jungle sounds, okay music, whatever... it's not like you're missing out on anything. 7/10

GAMEPLAY- I love the side-scrolling parts. They are just plain great. The bad thing about it is that Harry is so slow at climbing vines and monkeys are apparently snipers at their jobs because they will nail if you're climbing a vine. Also, when you climb up from a ledge, there's a brief moment where you can't do anything. That's a prime moment to be smacked in the face. That's about it with the side-scrolling. The top-down adventure segments kinda...suck. The goal is to find two explorers( who always happen to have broken legs) take the torches that they have and go through the magical pyramid warp thing. Wow. You'll be running around a lot on some of these levels and sometimes it's hard to tell where you can go and where you can't. Now the thrill-seeker levels...suck so bad it's pathetic. You can fly a hang glider and shoot stones at natives and parrots. Why? You can slide on your *** in mud and throw bombs at rocks and avoid geysers. Why? You can climb a mountain and throw icepicks at penguins and natives bombarding you with snowballs. Watch out for the magical whirlwinds of doom. Why? You can play Frogger on a ****-filled river that autoscrolls. WHY DEAR GOD WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! But seriously, it took me 30 tries just to beat this level. Then you can sit in an inner tube and have a leisurely float down a river while being pelted by rocks and being sucked into whirlpools. Fun. Not. Those levels just killed the game. The boss battles are also plain stupid. They all have some magical summoning power that summons animals to kill you and you have to kill them with some stupid trap thingermabober. I dunno why they did this but it's just plain sad. The final boss is so freakin' cheap too. I died about 20 times fighting him, quit, came back a few months later, and killed him on my second try. Huh. 4/10

STORY- Yes, there's a story. But it's pretty shallow and really just offers a few laughs at the stupid dialogue and the bad jokes. And it ends with a cliffhanger???!!!!!!!! 5/10

REPLAY VALUE- Low. Stay away from this game! Go! Go and trade it in at Gamestop! I'm not sure why I even tried to beat this game! 0/10

Don't play this game. Don't buy this game. Borrow it if you want but then I'll call you a masochist.
FINAL SCORE- 4/10 (Not an average)

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 06/30/08

Game Release: Pitfall: The Lost Expedition (US, 02/18/04)