Britney's Dance Beat

"Full marks for the extras and -4 for the game."

To be honest, I am very impressed with the videos that can be unlocked by completing the levels. I never knew the Gameboy Advance cartridge could store videos. The multimedia treats are great. Photos of (who else) Britney are unlocked by completing levels and though they're not photo quality, they all seem pretty artistic.

Unfortunately, I'm not a Britney fan. I'm fully aware that this is just one of those marketing ploys by probably her record company (I'd bet they're involved in this in some way discrete or not) but I thought I'd take the risk here and *gasp* attempt the incredulous feat of not just sitting through, but PLAYING through a Britney flick. I liked the notion of music games and Dance Dance Revolution on the Gameboy had a pretty fun arcadey feel to it. Beatmania was good for a while and that led me to assume the same of this game.
Never was I so wrong. Know why? Because there was no gameplay! You've all heard of something called a learning curve right? Let's just say that the learning curve in this game is flatter than Britney's oh-so-taut midsection. All I did for the WHOLE 3-4 minutes of the first stage (set to the tune of Baby One More Time) was to hit the A button a lot. Exciting stuff really. ANd did I mention that the abovementioned singer can't hold a tune even if her life depended on it. No siree.

And now for the next MOST IRRITATING thing besides Britney: when you switch modes (Normal, Easy and Hard), EVERYONE of those bonuses you unlocked disappears. Which means you have to start playing ALL OVER AGAIN from stage one and work your way up. Why oh why????


If you really have to, go buy her CDs, her concert tickets, her T-shirts, teenage magazines. ANYTHING BUT THIS.

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 05/05/02, Updated 10/16/02