Classic NES Series: Donkey Kong

"Lazy, aren't you, Nintendo?"

Donkey Kong is a game that was originally released in the Arcades, but was such a big hit that it got more sequels and ports then you can shake a stick at. Now, a port of the game that brought us both Mario and DK is on the GBA, and once again, Nintendo has been 100% lazy.

Graphics:
Perfectly ported.

The graphics are exactly like the NES original, which considering the fact that all this "game" is is the GBA emulating NES hardware, is not really a surprise. All the animations, graphics, and colors (or lack there of) is there. Donkey Kong's graphics for the original NES were above average even by the system's standards, and that will obviously decide the score, with bonus points for being ported perfectly.

For the newer generation who haven't gotten a chance to play this yet, I shall describe the graphics to you. (Gamers who have played can skip this part.) Each level is designed like a red construction building and the background is a single shade of black. At the top of the building sits Donkey Kong, who is easily recognizable (How hard is it to recognize a gorilla, after all? Heh.) and next to him sits Peach...I mean, Pauline, (I will refer to her as Peach from now on) who will stand on a floating girder and do a little jig until you jump up and rescue her from DK's Jedi powers. Or something. Anyways, Donkey Kong will throw 8-bit barrels at you, which are also easily recognizable, and sometimes they will land in a flaming oil barrel (which is only recognizable by the word "OiL" on it) and turn into a living fireball which can climb ladders and chase you. Mario...err....Jumpman (I'm going to refer to him as Mario from now on) has the worst of it, as he looks not only like a total midget (more of one than usual), but he also looks really blocky, loads more than every other character in this 8-bit port. Overall, everything looks pretty good for an NES game. 85/100

Sound:
Mario needs new shoes.

Again, ported exactly with no problems, containing all the tunes and sounds you remember from the original game. Mario still has squeaky shoes that serve as an odd form of music when he walks, the "Game Start" tune is still there in all it's glory, and the hammer tune is very recognizable if you've played Smash Bros. For an NES game, all these tunes are decent, but otherwise, there isn't that many sounds. 75/100

Story:
Same old, same old.

For those who don't know it, Donkey Kong's story is this:

Mario must go save Peach from the clutches of Donkey Kong.

And that's it. But who played platformers for their story during the days of the NES anyways? N/A

Gameplay:
It's gorilla-licious, baby.

Yet again, Nintendo did an awesome job sticking an NES rom into a GBA cartridge...err...um...I mean, porting this game with no problems. Yeah.

For the newer generation of gamers yet to play this game, Donkey Kong consists of you going through a construction building, jumping over barrels that DK tosses at you and trying to rescue your girlfriend, Peach.

Jumping over a barrel and living gets you 100 points, getting one of Peach's things that she dropped gets you bonus points, and beating the levels gets you a lot of points. You can also grab a hammer and smash the barrels with it and get points this way. The hammer is the most fun part of the entire game, as smashing things, watching time slow down and the words "100" appearing as the barrel explodes and time speeds up again is just really, really neat.

The final level consists of you dodging miscellaneous objects and monster while removing the supports from the girders so you can watch DK plummet to his doom only for the entire game to start over again. Yep, that's it. 90/100

Length and Difficulty:
And boy, does the game fall FLAT.

In fact, it falls faster than Donkey Kong in the final level.

This game has only 3 levels, which is already bad for an NES game, but the 3 levels are extremely short. The levels are fortunately challenging, but 3 levels? Now, this would be higher if it had a 4th level, but that's the thing. That's the reason it's score will fall.

IT DID.

The original arcade version of Donkey Kong had not 3, but 4 levels. The 3rd one (or was it 2nd?) was arguably one of the best levels in the game. When the game was ported to the NES, the factory level was removed because of issues with the amount of space. The GBA should not have such problems, but Nintendo was lazy and didn't add the level anyways. I think this game would have been much more fun if it had had this level, and it would also be longer and more challenging.

By the way, the game doesn't feel fun anymore. In fact, the game feels sadly boring and lackluster now, and is only worth it for nostalgia.

Not only that, but the ending...isn't an ending. Mario and Peach stand there like idiots and a heart appears above their heads. Then the game restarts.

That's it. Nothing more. Not even a "YOU'RE WINNER!" screen. The game will last you all of about 5, 10 or 15 minutes before you beat it once, and a little more for the next time, and a little more for the next, and bla bla bla...

To make a long story short, Nintendo was lazy with this one, and simply including one more level (or more!) could have seriously improved this game. 35/100

Controls:
Responsive 75% of the time.

Let me tell you something you might find funny... My brother tried to play this game and was confused by the fact that the game was playing itself and that he couldn't control it at all. He said none of the buttons worked on the title screen. Well, that's because you need to press select at the title screen. The newer generation of gamers probably doesn't read the manual and will be confused by this, and it could have been fixed by setting start to the start button instead.

In the game, the controls will sometimes not respond for 3 seconds, and you will find yourself smashed by a barrel. This happens 25% of the time, and when that happens, you will be annoyed. Other times you may jump forward and suddenly turn around and land on a barrel even though you didn't tell Mario to turn around in mid-jump. Both of these mistakes make the game harder for bad reasons and both of them should not be there. Other than this, the controls are at least easy to understand. 50/100

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And... RECAP!

Pros and Cons:
+ (Almost) Ported exactly.
+ For the NES, good graphics and sounds.
- Sometimes unresponsive and/or messed up controls.
- Factory level STILL not there.
- Lack of any satisfying ending.
- Even for an NES game, still way too short.
- Not fun anymore.

Final Scores:

Graphics: Perfectly ported. 85/100
Sound: Mario needs new shoes. 75/100
Gameplay: It's gorilla-licious, baby. 90/100
Length and Difficulty: And boy, does the game fall FLAT. 35/100
Controls: Responsive 75% of the time. 50/100

PLUS

Negative 20 points for being a game that truly belonged on a "NES Classics Collection" instead, as this game isn't enough of a game to need it's own cartridge.

FINAL VERDICT:
A game that wasn't enough of a game to deserve it's own cartridge, that just shows laziness from Nintendo all over. 47/100

Buy, Rent, or Smash:
I personally recommend a rent. It's not enough of a game for you to buy.

Reviewer's Score: 5/10, Originally Posted: 08/03/04