Gex: Enter the Gecko

"Gex is not even a word. This is not even a game"

Okay, I like the other Gex games for the consoles, and so I be a stupid person and buy this version, just because I do. Now, if I was smart enough to think about my decision, I would have went HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! But I was too ignorant, which is why I don't want anyone else to be as ignorant. Okay, on to the review!

---Graphics (5/10)
The graphics weren't all too crappy, but the thoughts of OH WOW, COLOR is not actually that big of a deal. Gex looks retarded and he smiles, worst gecko ever! Everything else is clear and colorful, but crappy at the same time

---Audio (1/10)
I can't say I like the music, because I don't! BOO! HISS! The music sounds like an inexperienced hobo playing the accordion. Okay, not that bad. Really, you can mute this, and GB games aren't meant to be spectacular in music and sound, but what really makes me mad is that they didn't even put a hint of Gex's comments in! THAT'S WHY THIS IS A 1! Even a small sound byte would be okay. I guess I'm asking for too much, but WHO CARES!

---Control (0/10)
WHAT IS THIS? IS THIS PLAY CONTROL? THIS IS DEATH CONTROL! All right, for some reason B is to jump. What genius at programming thought of that? A is for tail whack, mostly because B is for jump. Basic? NO! Not if you've played the N64 version or anything else! I remember that A is usually for jump! Is Crave stupid or something? YES!

---Gameplay (1/10)
The crappy gameplay consists of levels from the original, only warped and stupid. Obviously 3D environments are crappy when turned into 2D environments. Really, only one way to go? WHAT A CHALLENGE TO FIND REMOTES! The original enemies are back, like the flower and the hunter and the ghost that always hits me! Flies are rare, the jumps are really tricky and badly created, and the levels seem to never open! ONLY TWO? I have enough remotes, why can't I progress? Oh, maybe it's because the gods are nice and want me to never see the rest of this vile ''game''!

---Story (8/10)
The only remotely (bad pun, sorry) good part of the game. Original and vintage Gex story line where Rez stole the remotes and you need to get them back and save TV. Oh well, the story is okay I guess

---Challenge (12/10)
The number is true. I HATE THIS GAME! Why? Well, the first level is hard for some reason (falling objects and hunters are invincible for some reason) and the second level, well, that ghost always hits me because of the 2D problems, and there's this jump I only made once because I keep pressing the wrong buttons, and even when it's the right one, I MISS THE JUMP! ARGH!

---Replay Value (impossible to rate)
I never beat the game so I can't rate this exactly, but really, why would I replay a game that I despise? Exactly. Plus, this game has the worst password feature ever, causing you to lose your game way too often! It's made up of about 30 arrows pointing all over the place, and you take 1 hour to put it in, only realizing it's wrong! WHY??

THE GOOD STUFF
Uh, the story is okay
Graphics aren't that retarded
The game didn't let me progress to see the rest of this

THE NOT-SO-GOOD STUFF
Password feature is the worst ever (that I've seen)
Graphics look slightly retarded anyway
No Gex comments (more of a wish)
Too hard!
Gameplay is just bad

---Overall (2/10)
Why did this game get an extra point? Well, the first level was fun for a while, and so was level 2, and it's Gex, so I can't give him a 1. But really, this game should be avoided! IT DOESN'T EVEN WORK AS A DOORSTOP OR PAPERWEIGHT OR ANY OTHER USES FOR BAD GAMES! The only way to play: Buy it for a nickel, then smash it for a nickel. There, free smashing fun.

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 02/07/02, Updated 02/07/02