N*Sync: Get to the Show

"Omigod!"

When one thinks of the musical quintuplet N*Sync, many ideas come to mind, a lot of them involving some form of mutilation, whether it be to yourself or to the Fab Five. But there is no way that one of those thoughts could ever be about a video game…right? Absolutely wrong, mi amigo (in English this commonly means “my pal” or “my buddy”.) N*Sync: Get To The Show is the blood, sweat, and tears of the Stunt Puppy Entertainment development team. Please note that the tears came after the finished project, when Stunt Puppy realized what horror they had just unleashed upon the Game Boy Color

The premise of NS:GTTS (that is what I like to call an “abbreviation”) is very simple. You are N*Sync’s number one fan, so you get the ultimate honor of being their roadie. As a roadie, you have the most important job of anyone in the music business: preparing the boys physically and mentally for the big concert. No simple feat, however, for the Big 5 are difficult to please, and only the best and brightest minds in the industry of roadie…ing…can tackle this tough task. As you pick a name for yourself (preferably a hilarious one like Buttpoopoo) and pick a member of N*Sync to guide you throughout the game, you can’t help but feel tingly inside. Of course, that could just be depression from the fact that you are playing a game starring N*Sync. Nevertheless it is time to GET TO THE SHOW!

The game pans out as a collection of mini-games (if 3 games can constitute a collection) that you must advance through in order to garnish completion. Much like the Game & Watch series, each of the games involves good timing and quick thinking in order to be victorious. GTTS boasts 3 difficulty levels that cater to all of the masses. New Fan is the easiest mode, crafted for the newly minted enthusiasts of all things N*Sync, while Super Fan is for the ones who’ve loved them ever since their extremely obscure demo released way back in the 90s. The challenge varies only in the pace and longevity of each mini-game, so as you climb the ladder, everything gradually becomes more and more tedious. I’ll explain a wee bit later. Another important notable is the “health meter”, composed of three purple stars. Every time you screw up, a fraction of a star is depleted. Lose all three stars and that’s it for you! If you need to fix your mistakes, fear not! Random letters in the word N*Sync appear throughout the game. If you can collect them all, you get a star refill! How neat is that?

After a brief prompt by whichever member of the crew you picked from the get-go, you begin the first of three Limo Drives, the Chauffeur Challenges, the Errand Eroticas. You are at the wheel of a white limousine where N*Sync sits around lazily, barking out orders at you as if you were their manservant. And you are, so get with the program. As you reach your final destination, you must make pit stops so the boys can fulfill their desires. Among these includes flowers, bowling, and basketball. Awesome, innit? There really isn’t anything to this mode at all. A four-year-old leper could do it no problem, so to add some much-needed depth, rogue limos appear rather sparsely. You actually have the option to run right into them with no penalty at all! This is the perfect message to send out to the target audience of this game, which is quite young.

N*Sync needs a good nights rest, and where else can a guy get some hard-earned Z’s than at Hotel Havoc, where babies cry and phones ring nonstop 24/7! The boys need their rest, so it’s up to you to ensure that they get the sleep they deserve. Moving a star along the nine windows of this surprisingly small hotel, you are required by law to shush the loud things and put the cool dudes to bed. Very simple to play, but much like the other two, it ends up lasting way too long. You’ll be playing 5 friggin rounds of this before you move on, and this nearly turns off those with short attention spans, such as me. Doesn’t help that each round is 2 minutes either.

Gee Willikers, now we need to feed them? N*Sync is a big fan of burgers, so you’ll be headed to the worst diner in town for some odd reason. The burger parts actually fall from the sky here, and you need to catch them on your big fluffy bun. What a world! Not only that, but the guys are very hungry, and might even ask for a huge amount of burgers! As you would expect, that not-so-minor detail prolongs this little mini-game, and you will be doing it five times. N*Sync also has a very odd taste. Whereas normal people would probably eat a burger with a meat patty, Lance sometimes wants an all cheese & mustard burger! Ewwww, grody!

Bringing up the rear is N*Sync’s big warm-up activity before engaging in their concert: a rousing game of hacky sack! Ah yes, the excitement of kicking a beanbag, recreated in a video game! There really isn’t a whole lot to say about this one. Really. Oh right, there’s 5 long rounds once more, and by the time you’ve finished, you should slam your face into the closest solid object for wasting all that time you could have been using to paint a picture or read a book. Shame on you!

Oh sure, I bet you really loved answering N*Sync’s every whim, but could you really take them seriously with the way they look? Justin and company look like blocks with some black dots representing their heads, and, well, let’s just say there is something underneath it. Nothing else in this game is graphically pleasing, aside from the portraits of the boys you see from time to time. How dreamy. Now, if I were to describe the sound to you, I’d have to stick a cheese grater in your ear and move it violently back and forth. The other option is to listen to loud, obnoxious, and repetitive TV static for a while. Both emulate the music and sound very well. The game is replayable I suppose, with three modes, and something called Jump Around that allows you to play any mini-game at any one time. But I strongly advise against it.

So what have we learned today? N*Sync: Get To The Show is a couple of repetitive and lengthy mini-games with an N*Sync twist. Truth is, without the N*Sync license, this game is nothing, and that’s never a good sign. At least once you’ve finished it up, you can go to sleep feeling good about yourself. I mean, if N*Sync had given that concert tired and hungry, who knows what would have happened? They could have been sued! Wait, nobody sues bands for sucking, silly me.

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 11/29/03