Men in Black: The Series

"Not even Will Smith could make this look good..."

Introduction:

Where is that memory eraser machine? Because, I really, really need it right about now. I loved the movie. The first one, anyway. I watched the the cartoon series on television every Saturday morning for the first season. I liked the series. I still do, to an extent. But this game...This game had so much potential to be a commercial success, what with a blockbuster hit of a movie and a decent Saturday morning cartoon show to back it. Not to mention the sequel...But despite this franchise's success in so many areas of the media, this game is...substandard at best. Here's why...

Gameplay:

Where are all the cool gadgets? The fearsome monsters? the slick black suits? Well, okay, technically the main character wears a suit, but it doesn't look anything like its movie counterpart. As for fearsome monsters like Edgar, you get a bunch of random monsters walking toward you, most of which can be taken out by just running through the level and holding down the shoot button. And how about weapons? Surely you're equipped with the Noisy Cricket, the most devastating weapon in the MIB arsenal? Well, you have you're Cricket. Doesn't chirp too loudly though. Instead of a powerful blast that can punch holes into the sides of trucks, it's reduced to a small pellet gun capable of only firing two rounds a second. The layout of the levels are pretty straightforward, just progress to the end of the corridor and into the elevator. You can walk, crouch and jump. There's a problem with that though; the controls are way too unresponsive. If an alien is crawling along the floor at you, you're not going to have enough time to actually crouch and let out a shot. Same goes with jumping, as long as you time it just right. Also, turning horribly slow. While you can execute a somewhat stylish 180 turn while shooting your gun, it doesn't really make up for the lack of speed.

Story:

Aliens exist. There are thousands of aliens on the planet Earth at any given time. To regulate these aliens, a special force was created. They are the Men in Black. they go around policing aliens, and erasing the memories of those who come in contact with them. The newest recruit is Jay, formerly of the NYPD. He is now known as Agent J. He's a rookie, being trained by the tough veteran Agent K. In this game, you play as Agent J inside the Men in Black headquarters. MIB headquarters and surrounding areas are currently under siege by numerous aliens. Your job is to clear them out.

Graphics/Sound: This is the Gameboy Color, right? I wonder who thought up making the floor of MIB headquarters blue-green, or the bullets orange? The only thing that looks normal is Agent J's black suit. The image of Agent J is nothing more than a few bits of black during the game. Even in the little elevator cutscenes, the animation looks as if Pablo Picasso got a hold of Agent J's mug shot and turned it into a work of cubism. Nothing wrong with Picasso's work, but it sure doesn't do with MIB. Nor does the bad animated cutscenes. Also, the music in this game in no way relates to the movie soundtrack. It bores you right from the start.

Play Time/Replayability:

I'd be surprised if you had the patience to finish this game once.

Final Recommendation:

See the movie. Skip the game.

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 01/26/04