"Ahh, my freakin' eyes!"

What can I say? It’s Nintendo’s first huge failure. I came out after the Super Nintendo and Genesis started to die out, and Nintendo released a new 32-bit “portable” (doesn’t seem that portable to me) gaming system called Virtual Boy. The Virtual Boy was a virtual reality (sort of) headset, in which you look into the small screen, and play the games. However, all the games had one color: red. There was a black background, and the lines were all bright red. In fact, the red was so bright and sharp, that it was really bad for your eyes. So anyway…

The graphics were actually capable of 32-bit showings. Too bad all that you see are drawings made of red lines. If you want to check out the graphics for a virtual boy, make sure you get a first good look, because you’ll be blinded in a while. So, it’s basically all just drawn images, although some can be good, most are not. But everyone’s biggest gripe is that the graphics are so blinding, isn’t it?

The structure of the Virtual Boy was pretty unique. You’ve got a black stand, which is holding up a red box, basically. The red box has a place your you can easily put your eyes into. The problem is, the stand is quite low, and you have to lean down to play the game, thus giving you a ton of back pains. The controller was also unique. It actually had the control pad on both sides, so you can use either one, depending on if you’re a left or right handed person.

The game library is the other thing that made the Virtual Boy fall. It came out with 4 games and ended its life with 15 or so. It had games like Mario’s Tennis, Wario Land, Golf, Virtual League Baseball, Panic Bomber, 3-D Tetris, Mario Clash… and a handful of other games. Wario Land and Mario’s Tennis were good, but the others were… not so good. They were mostly little puzzle games, and no RPGs. Sucks, doesn’t it? There supposedly WAS going to be an RPG, but the VB’s sales dropped like a rock, and that game disappeared.

As for the audio capabilities, I’d say it really is capable of having good music, except that it all depends on the game. Wario Land had great music, as did that funky bowling game, but the sounds really weren’t as good. They could easily sound as good as a game for Nintendo, no lie. I’ve heard some really cheap sounds, like Mario’s Tennis’s sounds.

Okay, so the final thing to say about the VB is that it is the most failed system, portable, or whatever you want to call it. It didn’t even last a year. After two year, the price of the Virtual Boy went down more than $100, and by now, it’s pretty impossible to find. You don’t EVER hear of this system anywhere anymore, so don’t bother looking. But believe me, you wouldn’t want to get it, unless you like bad games and want bad eyes. And that’s a BrakZero promise!!!

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 02/03/01, Updated 02/22/01