Dark Tower

"So much fun I forgot to have fun."

Ah, Dark Tower; a game scarce few people have ever played, heard of, or seen. Sadly, Dark Tower never made it to market, and maybe the public just... wasn't ready for it.

Story: 4/10 (Warning, minor spoilers may ensue, if you actually care)

You're a soldier, or a group of soldiers, or whatever, but you only command/get to see one soldier at a time. You walk through the forest, find keys and treasure, all the while engaging monsters that hide behind trees and throw what appear to be ninja stars at you. Oh yeah, and occasionally you encounter wizards and gas clouds.

Once you've collected all the keys, you can (and probably should) enter the Dark Tower, try to solve its "puzzle," and if done correctly, the game will end.

Anticlimactic? Just a bit. Simplistic? In an era dominated by arcade games, I suppose one can't fault Dark Tower for being devoid of any depth, but yeah, it's simple. On the other hand, the original Super Mario Bros. wasn't exactly Charles Dickens either.

Graphics: 4/10

Well, unfortunately the only colors available in this game are black and white. I suppose because the only release to be found is a prototype, one might assume that the graphics weren't entirely finished. Still, this is one of the very first games to simulate a pseudo-3D environment. Nonetheless, the player is rendered without any clothes, save a Roman(ish) helmet (or possibly a mohawk). It's hard to tell since it's just a straight vertical white line. Stumbling about naked in a forest is just too awkward for my taste.

Despite the Vectrex's antiquity, it was certainly capable of outputting graphics superior to drawing a naked man with a few straight white lines at 3 FPS. However, those games were largely arcade shooters in nature, so perhaps the 3D-ish environment of Dark Tower threw off the Vectrex's capabilities, although I doubt it.

Sound: 2/10

If by "sound" you mean "beep beep noises" then I suppose I would give it a higher rating.

Gameplay: 3/10

Walk walk walk, open chest, get keys, and dodge ninja stars thrown by monsters. It's dull, repetitive, and combat is downright frustrating. Dodging those stars isn't hard once you get used to the fact that everything moves at 2 FPS and even when it looks like you're clear, the star will still hit you and you'll still asplode.

Overall: 4/10

I can overlook the beep beep noises, lame naked guy graphics, and lack of a storyline. My qualm with the game is its misleading title. If the entire game is spent in the forest, then call it "Guy Wanders In The Forest." If even a third of the game was spent in the Dark Tower, then that might justify the title.

I'm willing to throw a few pity points at the game since it was never released and made ages ago, but even with a healthy dose of sympathy, this game is still a bummer.

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 05/26/06