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    Ending FAQ by TWilde

    Updated: 03/08/02 | Printable Version | Search Guide | Bookmark Guide

    A Chrono Cross Ending FAQ
    For North Americans
    by Thomas Wilde [talespinner@msc.net]
    I own nothing. Square owns everything.
    The time is out of joint: -- O cursed spite,
    That ever I was born, to set it right!
        -- _Hamlet_, Act I, Scene V
    I got bored again, and so, here are all ten of the endings
    I was able to get for Chrono Cross, the North American
    version, as well as a few others that were brought
    to my attention. There are serious spoilers ahead, as you
    might expect, so tread carefully. Near the end, I've included
    thoughts on beating the Time Devourer in a New Game+.
    Alert reader Laurence Lin has assembled many saved games for
    you. You can download them in a .zip file at
    At the end of Chrono Cross, Balthasar gives Serge a Time
    Egg. He can use this Egg at Opassa Beach to project himself
    beyond time and defeat the Time Devourer, freeing Schala and
    repairing the dimensional split.
    However, once you've won Chrono Cross, you can start a New
    Game+, where you'll start off with the Time Egg. At almost
    any time during the game, you can return to Opassa Beach
    and force a final confrontation with the TIme Devourer.
    In an ordinary game, you must use the Chrono Cross in
    "sequence" to get the game's good ending. However, in New
    Game+, since you don't get the Chrono Cross until Disc Two,
    you may consider this qualification rescinded. All you'll be
    doing is beating the crap out of Schala and her little
    friend, with no weird musical sequence required.
    Ending #1:
    Use the Chrono Cross to free Schala.
    Ending #2:
    Kill the Time Devourer at the end of your first game,
    instead of using the Chrono Cross.
    Ending #3:
    After fighting your way through Lizard Rock, use the Time
    Egg at Opassa Beach. You must do this with Serge, and
    Serge alone.
    Ending #4:
    Beat the Time Devourer with other people in your party, at
    any time before you pick a route into Viper Manor.
    Ending #5:
    Defeat the Time Devourer after Kid is poisoned and you wake
    up in Guldove. When Korcha drops you off in Termina, go
    straight to Opassa Beach and use the Time Egg.
    Ending #6:
    Defeat the Time Devourer after Kid's been cured, and before
    you've entered Fort Dragonia.
    Ending #7:
    I assume that this was gained by defeating the Time Devourer
    as in Ending #6 without having saved Razzly, but I'm probably
    wrong. YMMV.
    Ending #8:
    You'll get this ending at any time between escaping Sprigg's
    dimension, as Lynx, and saving Riddel from Another's Viper
    Ending #9:
    Defeat the Time Devourer after you rescue Riddel.
    Ending #10:
    After regaining Serge's body *and* completing the Dario
    subquest, defeat the Time Devourer.
    Ending #11:
    After the destruction of FATE and the rise of Terra Tower,
    defeat the Time Devourer.
    Ending #12, as reported by alert readers Marc Benzin and
    Both readers report that they've gotten this twelfth ending
    immediately after rescuing Riddel from Viper Manor, before
    they meet up with Kid at the Hermit's Hideaway. Further
    alert reader Jeremiah Drummond reports:
    "After rescuing Riddel, fighting Orcha, Grobyc, and Guillot,
    and escaping out the window... go beat the Time Devourer before
    going to Hermit's Hideaway to meet up with the others."
    For those who are too lazy to get all these endings
    themselves (and I can't say as I really blame you; I
    sat down and earned most of these endings, thus using
    reserves of patience I didn't think I had), I present
    brief yet insightful summaries.
    Ending #1, Details:
    Schala is freed from Lavos, and reunites with her "younger
    self", Kid. The timestream has been corrected. The other
    participants in the final battle thank Serge for his help,
    and Serge is returned to his home world with no memories of
    his adventure; as far as he can tell, he just fainted
    briefly while he was talking to Leena. The two worlds have
    become one.
    The credits roll; we're shown images from the game, mixed
    with video footage of a blond girl wandering along a road,
    along train tracks, and on the sidewalk in what might be
    modern Tokyo (it is, at least, a modern-looking city that
    has many a Japanese person in it). The final image is of
    the blond girl's hand; she is carrying Kid's pendant. (A
    great many readers have written in to share their
    interpretations of this sequence. The prevailing opinion
    seems to be that this is Kid, who is still looking for
    Serge, and who might be using the Astral Amulet to hop
    dimensions as part of the search. I also sort of like
    the take that one "High Priestess Lyn-Chan" has on this
    one, where she thinks that Kid may be looking for Serge
    over the course of multiple reincarnations. Granted, that
    probably ain't the case, but it's also more interesting
    than the more mundane "truth" of the matter.)
    At the end, we're treated to a brief entry from the diary of
    Schala "Kid" Zeal.
    Ending #2, Details:
    I haven't seen it for myself, but apparently, Schala and
    Lavos are reabsorbed into the Timestream. Nothing's changed,
    Serge's whole adventure has been meaningless, and the credits roll.
    Ending #3, Details:
    It's the developers' ending! You'll wind up in the front
    hall of Viper Manor, with the four rooms on the first floor
    open to you. If you climb the stairs to the second floor,
    you'll find two more developers. The doors on either end
    of the hallway will just spit you out on the other end of
    the hall, but going up the stairs to the second floor will
    bring you to the first floor of Viper Manor again. There
    will be a different crop of developers running around, however.
    Incidentally, for those who haven't gotten this yet: the guy
    who yells "RESET" is just kidding. You'll go back to the
    ending screen as soon as you press "start". It's okay...
    it's all right... put the gun down...
    (I initially didn't realize there was any difference between the
     first and second floors; I have to thank alert reader Kyle for
     pointing that out to me. As far as I know, the locked door on
     the second floor is and shall remain forever locked.)
    Ending #4, Details:
    Serge comes back from a long morning fishing, and Leena is
    waiting for him. Serge is now apprenticed to the Arni fisherman
    (the guy who you paid to take you to Home's Water Dragon Island),
    who says that Serge's very talented, and neither he or Leena can
    believe that Serge used to be a housekeeper (excuse me?). The
    fisherman teases Leena about being engaged to Serge, and
    Leena blushes and calls Serge "honey" a lot. In the middle
    of all this, Kid walks onto the pier, watches for a minute,
    bids Serge a silent farewell, and leaves without Serge
    really noticing her.
    We fade to Kid, sneaking around on the second floor of Viper
    Manor. She lets herself into Viper's study, where she finds
    Lynx. There's a lengthy and brutal fight which we only hear,
    and Lynx loses. Kid walks into the corridor with the Frozen
    Flame in her hand. She muses that she's killed two birds
    with one stone.
    By the time she's ridden the elevator down, Kid has wished
    herself into the position of Lord of El Nido. Karsh, Zoah,
    Marcy, and a regiment of dragoons are waiting for her.
    Another dragoon runs in and tells Kid that the Porre army is
    on its way. Kid's reply is that she has the Frozen Flame,
    and, after all, she's in charge, so there's nothing to worry
    about. She'll deal with Porre, after they've conquered the
    kingdom of Guardia. She leaps over the Devas' heads, lands
    on the messenger, and runs out of the room. The Devas and
    the dragoons race to follow her.
    We're then told, in plain text, that Kid's armies conquered
    all of their neighboring nations with ease. It was the birth
    of the Acacian Empire, and the Frozen Flame stands next to
    General Kid's throne.
    Ending #5, Details:
    Serge is a clerk at Lisa's Element Shop in Termina. Leena
    comes in and fights with Lisa over Serge. Meanwhile, Norris
    and Kid are in Viper Manor; Norris got Kid the Hydra Humour,
    and thereby saved her life. In return, Kid went undercover
    with Norris, as a dishwasher in Orcha's kitchen.
    Finally, and most entertainingly, Solt, Peppor, and their
    rented hero Pierre storm Fort Dragonia, looking for Lynx,
    with decidedly mixed results. Pierre is a blight upon this
    fragile planet, y'know.
    Ending #6, Details:
    Leena runs into Lisa's Element Shop in Termina (Lisa's! For
    all your ending needs!). Lisa searches frantically for
    tickets to a concert, while Leena muses about how Nikki
    picked "her". Lisa finds the tickets and they run off.
    Nikki opens his show to a packed house; the streets of
    Termina are crowded with people. Before they start the show,
    Nikki introduces Serge on percussion, Kid on vocals, and the
    band's "mascot," Razzly. They break into song.
    Meanwhile, Lynx emerges from the topmost floor of Fort Dragonia.
    He stands on the teleporter and looks down pensively. Fin.
    Ending #7, Details (courtesy of Paul Errico):
    "The ending [is] the same as the one where Lisa and Leena argue.
    ...Kid walks in... [and] comments on Leena being in a bad mood, then
    asks Serge how he's doing and if they have any good elements. When
    Serge doesn't respond (of course), she says that he doesn't talk much.
    Lisa chimes in saying that at least he's not a loud-mouth (or something
    like that). Kid tells Leena to get off her high horse and that she's
    stuck up because she won the Viper Festival Beauty Pageant.  She says
    the only reason Lisa won is because 'this town is full of hags.' Lisa
    comments that she heard a certain blonde girl couldn't even get past
    the qualifying round. Kid turns and thinks/whispers to herself "How'd
    she find out about that?". Then, it goes on to the Pierre/Solt/Peppor
    scene and continues normally from there."
    Daniel Garcia reports a further permutation of this ending, where
    Korcha shows up and asks Kid if she's considered his proposal.
    I would guess that Korcha's appearance is dictated by how you
    answered when he asked Kid to marry him, but that'd only be
    conjecture on my part.
    Ending #8, Details:
    Harle and Lynx are living in Marbule, and have been for
    several months. They've ingratiated themselves to the
    demihumans, including Irenes, who asks them to find someone
    for her (Nikki? Fargo?). The Sage of Marbule, because
    everyone in the village likes Lynx, offers Lynx his position
    as chief. Lynx apparently decides to think it over. Harle
    assures him that they will find a way to get his old body
    back, and until he does, they should do whatever they can
    for the demihumans. She will be by his side.
    Meanwhile, at the entrance to the Sea of Fate in Another,
    Radius, Fargo, and Zappa disembark from a boat and run down
    the tunnel. They confront Evil Serge, and say they'll make
    him pay for his crimes. Evil Serge has killed all the
    dragoons, including Karsh. Suddenly, Kid walks into their
    way and says that she won't let them interfere with Serge's
    plans. Just before a fight begins, we fade to black.
    Ending #9, Details:
    Evil Serge and Kid arrive at Chronopolis's front hall. Serge
    goes ahead by himself, while Kid stays behind to deal with
    an "unexpected visitor": Harle. Harle tries to talk Kid out
    of attacking her, but Kid's too stubborn; as Kid says, she
    just plain doesn't like Harle. As they prepare to fight, we
    fade to...
    ...an old man walking into the chief's hut at what, I
    presume, is Another's Arni Village. He's there to consult
    the Record of Fate, but as he does so, it turns black. He
    yells in shock, and runs to get the chief.
    Meanwhile, Evil Serge arrives at the inner chamber of FATE,
    and levitates up to the golden sphere. He has finally
    arrived, he says; he has the Frozen Flame, and will become
    FATE. Fin.
    Ending #10, Details:
    In what would appear to be Home's rebuilt Viper Manor,
    Dario, Riddel, Viper, and an unnamed generic Dragoon welcome
    a bunch of kids to their "Dragoon youth camp". The kids run
    around, having a good time, while Viper and Dario discuss
    their plans. The generic Dragoon asks Dario how he intends
    to pay for all of this, and Dario says that he's got that
    taken care of, although he'll have to keep it a secret from
    Riddel. He and the dragoon laugh. Dario suggests that
    perhaps Riddel will be "working there" too. The dragoon says
    that if that were the case, he'd be a regular, and they
    laugh again, especially when a mystified Riddel overhears
    part of the conversation.
    Meanwhile, Evil Serge, Kid, and Harle walk into Termina.
    Serge muses that soon this place will be emptied of life,
    just like "all the others." Kid and Harle complain that
    they're tired from all their walking, and ask to rest
    somewhere. Serge consents, and they walk into the bar.
    Inside, Luccia is behind the counter, while Karsh, Marcy,
    Solt, and Peppor are hanging around outside. Karsh and Marcy
    show Serge, Kid, and Harle to their seats, flirting
    mercilessly with them all the while (Marcy, you're *nine*!
    Stop that! Ewwwww!). Kid and Serge order something called a
    Galaxy Night, Serge bitching all the while that he didn't
    steal a body that was of drinking age, while Harle orders
    what's apparently heavily sugared coffee. (There's a point
    coming up. I swear.) Marcy gets Serge to buy her a drink.
    Meanwhile, two aliens walk in and order "all the liquids
    you have in this box" from Peppor, who interprets that as
    meaning all the drinks the bar offers. Serge calls them
    Time passes. The aliens muse that there are no unique
    substances on this world, and that they should start the
    invasion. However, they need to wait until their scout,
    who's traveling with this world's natives, reports back in
    before they do. Both of them suddenly feel the effects of
    all the drinks they've had, and fall over. (Either that, or
    both of them try to say "Nanoo Nanoo" and screw it up.)
    Meanwhile, Serge and company have been drinking for quite
    some time. Kid asks if they should get going, and Serge
    consents. Kid and Harle go outside while Serge settles the
    tab. Karsh gives them "his card," and hopes he'll see
    the "lovely ladies" again.
    Serge looks at the bill, and realizes there's an extra zero
    on it. Luccia assures him that there's no mistake, and
    invites him into their consultation room to discuss it. Evil
    Serge walks into the room, saying that they don't know who
    they're dealing with, and is confronted by Zoah, who replies
    that, no, *he* doesn't know who *he's* dealing with.
    Violence, assumedly, ensues.
    In the bar's main room, Karsh mutters to Marcy that he's not
    cut out for this. Marcy says that he loves being the
    "ladies' man," and Karsh says he wants to get back to
    wreaking havoc. Fin. Wasn't that splendid?
    Ending #11, Details:
    The Dragon God is hovering over Sky Dragon Island, speaking
    to the Dwarven Chieftain and the Sage of Marbule. Both of
    the latter have gathered their peoples on the island, and
    await the Dragon God's order. After some of its
    by-now-familiar anti-humanity speechmaking, the Dragon God
    bids them to go forth and cleanse the stain of humanity from
    the planet. Those who would stand in their way, it says,
    have been dealt with. The Dwarven Chieftain is only too glad
    to do so, but the Sage is hesitant; before he leaves, he
    asks the Dragon God if they're doing the right thing. The
    Dragon God doesn't answer him, and he leaves.
    Cut to Harle, standing in the window of Serge's house in
    Arni. She wonders how many years it's been since she's last
    visited. She walks outside, and Arni is full of demihumans,
    talking amongst themselves. One says he'd pay a million
    "G's" to see the humans running for their lives again;
    another one exclaims that she can't use utensils that a
    filthy human has touched; yet a third asks a dwarf, who's
    coming out of the inn, what they should do if humans from
    the mainland come to investigate. The dwarf replies
    confidently that they've nothing to fear, as the Dragon God
    is on their side. Ignoring them all, Harle plucks some
    flowers, wondering if they're good enough.
    Cut to Cape Howl. Harle places the flowers on Serge's grave.
    Ending #12, reported by Marc Benzin and summarized by Jeremiah
    "...you see sequences of the Acacia Dragoons preparing
    for battle; the Devas, Viper and Fargo fight Dark Serge on the
    S.S. Zelbess, and Kid comes to fight Lynx (Serge) as Lynx
    and Harle are at home in Marbule cooking dinner."
    The Time Devourer is a White Innate creature with, as far as
    I can tell, around ten thousand HP. It attacks by throwing
    Elements at you once a turn, seemingly chosen at random from
    Green, Yellow, and high-powered Red and Blue; I've seen it use
    Bushbasher, Aerosaucer, Carnivore, FirePillar, Inferno,
    Volcano, Iceberg, Upheaval, and Earthquake.
    It can also use the quartet of highly powerful Omega attacks
    that those globular things in Terra Tower used. Of the lot,
    though, it tends to throw OmegaGreen around most frequently.
    Against a character of a differing Innate Element, these
    attacks can do somewhere between 150 and 210 points of damage.
    Against a character of an opposing Element, I've seen an
    Omega attack do as much as 417 points of damage.
    While this thing can be beaten in a New Game+, it's initially
    very tricky. You need to manage your equipment and Elements
    very effectively in order to win. Of course, at later Star levels,
    you can bulldoze the damn thing just as readily as you roll over
    everything *else* in the game, but where's the fun in that?
    What You Have In The New Game:
    As a general rule, you have almost everything you had
    before. You've lost all Summon Elements, as well as any
    7th-level Elements you had to acquire during gameplay, such
    as Leena's or Poshul's. Also, if you had the Mastermune, the
    Chrono Cross, and/or that wonder of improbable geometry and
    metal fatigue known as Viper's Venom, they're gone.
    Finally, certain accessories do not make the trip from your
    last game intact, but only if they were equipped on one of
    your main characters. Fortunately, this list is a short one:
    Dragoon's Honors, Dragoon's Glories, and Star Fragments.
    What you do have, however, is any Prism equipment you made
    last time around, regardless of whether it was equipped or
    not, as well as any 6th-level Elements you managed to get
    ahold of (i.e. Earthquake, Volcano, Carnivore, Iceberg).
    Suggested Anti-Time-Devourer Tactics:
    In General:
    You'll want to have a Green Brooch and Yellow Brooch on each
    character, so as to protect your party from being poisoned
    (Carnivore) and getting sprains (Earthquake). If you have to
    pick between the two, getting a sprain is a bigger problem,
    as it seriously reduces a character's combat damage. A
    Resistance Belt will do in a pinch, however.
    Also, while the Time Devourer may be White Innate, it still
    takes ridiculous amounts of damage from White Elements like
    UltraNova and, most importantly, Saints. The advantage to
    Saints is that it's like a huge reset switch for your side,
    healing all your characters for 1,000 HP or more.
    Ending #1: "True Ending"
    Load yourself up with such defensive items as you'll need
    to ignore most of the Time Devourer's attacks. Resistance
    Rings and Belts, various Brooches, Moonglasses, and Defenders
    are all excellent choices. Ending #1 usually involves having
    to eat a great many Omega spells, so you'll want to keep
    your characters as "armored" as you can.
    Now, take two good mages--Riddel, Sheena, Miki, Leena, Guile,
    etc.--into the fight, and load them up on multiple first-level
    Elements of various colors, preferably making sure that each
    character has each Element represented. Build up their Element
    levels to 8, and then return their Stamina to 7.
    When that's done, remember the order of the crystals in one of
    Terra Tower's rooms: yellow, red, green, blue, black, and white.
    You must keep the spheres at the top of the screen in this order,
    despite the Time Devourer's best attempts to remedy that, and
    have Serge use the Chrono Cross. This will free Schala from the
    crystal atop the Time Devourer, thus fixing the problems with
    the time stream.
    This is difficult, but it is not impossible. ("The difficult is
    easy; the impossible, merely difficult." Guess the reference,
    get an openmouthed look of shock.) I found that the key here was
    to let the Time Devourer start off the string, as it frequently
    uses Elements like Bushwhacker. That'll count as the Yellow, so
    instantly take advantage with a level 1 Red spell like Fireball
    and continue the string. If you have to use Serge, do it, but
    that'll mean he'll have to attack at least once in order to
    use the Chrono Cross, which may give the TimeDevourer a chance
    to screw up your color string. Remember, if you screw up, Serge
    can use the Chrono Cross to replenish your expended Elements;
    the only variable in this fight is, indeed, the HP of the
    TimeDevourer. You literally cannot be defeated in this fight
    if you keep your wits about you.
    Ending #3: Developer's Ending
    For this to work as planned, you'll be doing this with only
    Serge. This will be intensely annoying... for the Time
    Equip the Brooches, as above, a good Attack-boosting
    accessory (Power Seal, Dragoon Gauntlet, etc.) and the best
    Swallow you have, preferably a Spectral. Carry along as many
    MagNegate Elements as you've got, with FreeFalls, TurnBlacks,
    and CurePluses filling up all the other available space.
    Now, when the fight starts, attack once, weakly, and cast
    TurnBlack on yourself. Eat the first spell from the TimeDevourer,
    and build up your meter. Cast MagNegate. It can't hurt you now,
    which means you can beat it with physical attacks to your
    heart's content. In theory, you'll do more damage to it than
    it'll be able to do to you, and you'll win in the long run.
    You may be better off waiting to get this ending until you've
    gotten 99 Stars, and built Serge up into a 900+ HP, Spectral
    Swallow-wielding wrecking machine. Casting Magnify while
    MagNegate is in effect may also be helpful, if you're using a
    lot of magic. Finally, once you're out of MagNegate and attack
    Elements, you may wish to consider casting Diminish.
    Ending #4: The Emperor Kid
    I recommend going into this with Leena and Poshul. Make sure
    that Poshul has a Yellow Brooch, as she's along mostly to
    get Turned Black and pound on the Devourer with a Spectral
    Glove. (Where she's *wearing* the damn Glove is probably a
    matter best left unexplored.) A Black Poshul can do upwards
    of 700 points of damage a round. If Poshul eats an OmegaGreen,
    she's probably fine (unless you, as Chris Ingersoll notes,
    have done the smart thing and slapped Green Plate on the
    poor dog), but heal her as soon as you can anyway.
    PO-SHU-SHU!! *ahem* Excuse me...
    Leena should carry as many CureAlls as you have access to,
    even if she has to ditch attack spells to do it, and should
    have as many Magic Seals equipped as you've got room for.
    Spells such as FreeFall and Inferno should take up whatever
    leftover space you've got.
    Ending #5: Serge and Lisa
    This is more or less the same as it is above. Depending on
    whose route you took into Viper Manor, adjust your character
    lineup appropriately; for example, Guile, when equipped with
    a Rainbow Rod, will be doing as much damage, if not more,
    than Poshul. Taking Pierre into this fight, on the other
    hand, is a frightening and stupid idea.
    Ending #6: Are You Ready To Rock?
    Ending #7: The Beauty Contest
    Once again, the only thing that's really changed is the time
    at which you pick the fight. An ideal lineup is Guile,
    Leena or Razzly, and either Serge or a heavily Attack-boosted
    Poshul, but the same principles still apply.
    Ending #8: The Hero of Marbule
    Now things are going to start getting a little silly. Not
    only are you getting steadily more powerful as you go
    through the New Game+, but you have Lynx *and* Harle to
    throw at this thing. ForeverZero and Luniaretic can both do
    1000+ points of damage to the Devourer. Sprigg is an
    enormous waste of time unless you've scored some kind of
    absolutely spectacular Morph for her (for example, Slash, at
    the Bend of Time). A better choice, if you're willing to
    wait a little while, is Radius or Norris, either of whom can
    do serious damage if you use TurnBlack on them and/or equip
    them with Denadorite or Prism equipment. Of the two, you
    may be better off with Radius, as Norris will fold up like
    a lawn chair if he catches an OmegaGreen. Zappa is also a
    decent pick.
    Ending #9: I Have Become Fate
    For a real good time, take Riddel, Grobyc, and Lynx into
    this fight. Riddel is there as a healer, to throw Elements
    like HealAll and HolyHealing, but between those, she can
    cast FreeFall, UltraNova, and, if the TimeDevourer is asleep
    at the wheel, Saints. Grobyc, if equipped appropriately (a
    Spectral Glove, a Yellow Brooch, and a Dragoon's Honor or
    Dragoon Gauntlet), could almost beat the Time Devourer by
    himself. Lynx can use BlackHole and ForeverZero. This fight
    may be over very quickly.
    Another fun choice here is to use the Relief Charm and bring
    in all three of the surviving Dragoons. Zoah has so many hit
    points by this point that he can suck up OmegaGreens all damn
    day, and he'll still be up and fighting. Marcy can use WebSurfer
    and the FrogPrince Summon; Karsh and Zoah can use the DragonSpike
    Dual Tech, ThundaSnake, and, if you were able to get it, Genie.
    Ending #10: The Best Little Bar In Termina
    Without Lynx, you'll have to content yourself with Grobyc.
    Poor baby. In the meantime, your characters should be getting
    so ridiculously powerful that almost any one of them is a
    good choice for Time Devourer duty. Orlha, Zoah, Karsh, Marcy,
    Poshul, Leena, Viper, Norris, Riddel, Fargo, Steena, or Guile
    are all well-suited to the task. (If you really want to test
    your mad skillz, bring in Pierre, Turnip, and NeoFio. Whee!)
    Ending #11: Total War
    As above. Really, once you're able to beat the Time Devourer
    once, it's old hat.
    I must acknowledge a debt to one J. Parish, whose Chrono Cross
    FAQ not only does not suck, regardless of what he himself would
    tell you, but helped me enormously while I was playing the game.
    If you should need more help, or have a contribution above and
    beyond what's listed here, please read the following before you
    e-mail me, and take the guidelines therein to heart:
    [warning: explicit language]
    Thomas Wilde
    a.k.a. Wanderer