The Simpsons Wrestling
Review by Amakusa42
"The perfect example of how to waste a gamer's time and money."
There are actually a few moments in my life when I felt Robert DeNiro's version of Al Capone was justified. You know what I am talking about. He paces around the table, talking to all of his men, trying to guess which one betrayed him. Finally he stops behind one guy, whips out a baseball bat, and proceeds to hit a home run with the poor guy's head. Thats the payment for doing a crappy job.
Only a few times in my life have I actually felt like that was a good idea. One, when I got an F on my report card (I wished I did it to myself). Two, when me friend convinced me to try Extreme Skydiving (I wanted to do it to him after about 30 seconds). And finally, Three, when I booted up this game. I would like to bat the heads of the Executives who came up with this idea, but it would probably not be worth it.
I can just imagine them sitting around a table, debating this:
Executive #1: ''Lets take The Simpsons and put them into a video game.''
Guy In Charge: ''Hmm, we could do that. But what kind of game?''
Executive #2: ''Wrestling seems popular these days... How about that?''
Guy in Charge: ''Can we do that?
Executive #3: ''Yeah! And lets rush it out into the market so people will NEVER want to buy another Simpsons game again!''
Guy in Charge: ''Excellent idea! Make it so!''
At this point, I'd charge into the room, baseball bat in hand, and proceed to hit a home run with EVERY executive's head I see.
This game is just that AWFUL! The good part about being a reviewer is you can warn people about this kind of crap. The bad part is you actually have to rent/buy the game and spend time playing it to warn people. I knew I wasted my money when I booted it up and there was no intro movie. No intro movie? Even Beavis and Butthead had an intro movie!
Surprisingly enough, there is SOME good in this game. Thats why the rating is a 2, and not a 1. Whomever did the research into this game obviously did a lot of it, because there are a LOT of characters. Sixteen to be exact. You get Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Barney, Krusty, Apu and Groundskeeper Willie to start off, and then unlock Professor Frink, Ned Flanders, Bumblebee Man, Moe, Barney, Itchy/Scratchy, Mr. Burns/Waylon Smithers and Kang the Alien. Thats a heck of a roster, and all are represented where they should be. Example: You fight Homer at The Nuclear Plant, Moe at his Tavern, Kang on his Spaceship, and Lisa outside the Simpson's home.
The backgrounds are filled with lesser characters which would probably amuse people who are die hard Springfield fans. The Stonecutters, Cletus, and Doctor Hibbert all make cameos. Heck even the play by play is done by Kent Brockman!
And each character has the same voice he/she does on the series. So its really Dan Castellena doing Homer, Yeardly Smith doing Lisa, ect. ect. They speak a lot too! In fact every character has at least ONE specific line about another, and 2 or 3 victory lines. Willie, for example, makes fun of the Bumblebee man like this: ''I can't stand someone who speaks in an accent!'' And one of his victory lines is: ''I haven't been this happy, since I stole my first pig.''
Each character also has attacks that fit the character. So Barney Burps beer at you, Homer Eats Doughnuts, Bart hits you with a Sling, Lisa plays her Saxophone, and Bumblebee Man throws a Chihuahua at you (Yo quiero Taco Bell).
Unfortunately, thats where all the goodness ends...
Okay, so the game says Simpsons Wrestling, right? Well, ummm, WHERE IS THE WRESTLING? Every character can grab his/her opponent, but they get either a rope bounce or ONE throw. I may be mistaken, but if a wrestler went into one ring with just one move, and just punched and kicked all the time, he would get fired. Unless of course, he was Hulk Hogan or The Rock.
Bouncing people off the ropes is also pointless, since there is no unique move for that either. You can't, for example, bounce off the rope for more momentum and clothesline, spear, or DDT the opponent.
The rest of the time, they have 3 strikes and that is all. So, if you count the ability to jump, each character has a total of seven moves! Three in the air, and three on the ground and one throw. Not exactly a prime example of variety, no matter how funny the moves are.
You can see where this game is heading, can't you? 'He who mashes quicker wins the match,' seems to be the rule of thumb for this game. There is hardly any strategy involved other than the rapid press of buttons, what what little strategy there is seems to be, 'Don't stand at spot X when you hear Y sound.' Oh Joy.
Pinning is also inaccurate. Anyone who knows anything about wrestling knows you pin an opponent's shoulders to the mat. Problem is, every character only falls in ONE direction, and that is on thier stomach!
You want another reason this is not like wrestling? Okay, how about because there is no referee? So who makes the count? The guy doing the pinning of course. This also means there is no rope break, submission, or TKO. Not necessarily a bad thing if it was a hardcore match. But if it was hardcore, why is there not OUT OF THE RING fighting, no weapons to use (other than the ones certain characters have), and no interactive backgrounds? Yes, the differences between the rings is purely aesthetic!
The sound also falters after a while as well. Characters repeat the same lines over and over again, until it isn't funny anymore. How many times can you hear Kang say, ''Never before have I felt such joy!'' Before it becomes dull?
Graphics, if you want to call them that. You know how Square uses superdeformed characters for its RPG's? One of the executives making up this game must have decided to go that route, then fed the guy who was doing concept drawings some seriously powerful drugs. I am sure if you squint really hard or drink a lot, you might think some of the characters are accurate, but they aren't.
Willie's head is out of proportion, his beard looks like yarn, and his chest can't be supported by his own legs. Thats just ONE guy. Bumblebee Man's sting vanishes at some angles, Barney loses weight, and Marge loses her frying pan weapon when she moves at certain angles. Detail lines also fade out so badly, that it sometimes looks like the characters don't have a mouth, nose, or ear.
+ Everyone is represented. Each arena is based on locations from the series.
- But not very well at all.
+ Funny one liners from everyone in their real voices!
- Not enough. A waste of the voice actor's talent.
+ Nothing, did you expect something?
- Mash buttons faster than the other guy. No interactive backgrounds, no out of ring fighting, no depth.
-Why would you want to?
IS THIS GAME WORTH BUYING?
IS THIS GAME WORTH RENTING?
Only if you are a diehard Simpsons fan, or love pointless button mashing.
Amakusa wants to find the people who made this game, and then... PLAY BALL!
Reviewer's Score: 2/10 | Originally Posted: 04/09/01, Updated 04/09/01
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