Review by KasketDarkfyre

"Blood Rayne sounds like a porno...but this was too offensive? Right..."

When it comes to the adult nature of things in video games, you would probably think that it has something to do with the situations present, or maybe some sort of digitized sexual act that you get to watch at some point during the story. However, when you boil it down in this case, it’s more about breasts and thongs that show as well as the seemingly needed addition of curse words thrown in for good measure. What you’re going to find with this title though is that there are no breasts, though you’ll find that there is plenty of swearing. More or less like a daytime conversation with Andrew Dice Clay, there really isn’t anything here that you haven’t heard {or used for that matter} in an everyday conversation.

I Bought This For The Breasts…Er…Bikes…

The first thing that you’re going to notice about this version of the game is that all of the nudity that was the hype as been forced out by Sony. For some odd reason, they didn’t want to tarnish the system or company name with such forced and blatant frontal nudity. What escapes me is that they will allow the seemingly orgasmic sounds of Rayne feeding on an enemy in Blood Rayne, only to take out the hooters of the broads riding around on bikes. Another interesting fact about this title is that it was allegedly a Dave Mirra game, but he pulled out at the last moment because he didn’t want to be associated with it, only now to end up in a legal battle with the game company.

Getting into the game is straight-forward, with plenty of options and tricks for the riders in each of the stages. One of the things that you’re going to notice right off the bat is that the missions and goal-based game play is tedious and requires a ton of things that aren’t clearly explained to the gamer from the beginning of each stage. With no cut-scenes to give you a simple clue as to what needs to be done in each of the stages, you’re limited to a guessing game that you may or may not want to partake in, especially with the simplistic myriad of riders that you have at your disposal. Tricks are also an important part of the game, but you’ll find that there isn’t a way to swap out different tricks and some of the more impressive trick lines that you might have had in Dave Mirra 2 aren’t here.

The control really isn’t an issue either as long as you’re used to playing the extreme sports games with plenty of tricks at your disposal that require double taps and the like. You might find that the lack of a button edit can hinder some of your playing and the fact that there is no special meter or special tricks can really get on your nerves. What makes games of this genre so popular is the ability to do things that you know for a fact can’t be done in actual competition, and to be handicapped like this can really be disheartening. Aside from that, if you’ve played games such as Aggressive Inline and the Tony Hawk games, then there is nothing here that you haven’t already trained at, so no tutorial or practice is really needed.

CENSORED

Most of the game is designed with sheer size and detail in mind from the riders that you use to the locations that you’re biking through. However, the adult content that you’re looking forward to just doesn’t exist in this version and if you select a rider that is supposed to have hooters hanging out and flopping all over the place, then you’ll be greeted with nothing but cover-up. The tricks are actually fluid and quick throughout the game, and you’ll find that the camera doesn’t have too many problems, but there are some serious quirks that you might find annoying. One of the first things in line is the fact that the collision detection is so far off that throwing the controller will be the first thought to cross your mind. Add this into the occasional character that gets stuck inside of a building and you might find cause to riot in your own living room.

I Hear…Crickets…

The music selection for BMX XXX is mediocre at best and really doesn’t give too much into the feel of riding around busting out some insane tricks. This is not to say that the selection isn’t applicable to the title, because it does show the effort without actually delivering the product. You’ll find that the sound effects are humorous at best, but the amount of swearing gets old after the first ten minutes of play and the voice effects are damn near atrocious. To listen to a pimp demand his money is pretty funny when you hear the first time, but after about fifteen or twenty times of hearing it, you might want to hit the mute button. Hilarity with the dialogue almost offsets the lack of theme with the music, but the lack of originality really won’t do much for your ears.

BMX Triple Snore…

If you’re a Play Station 2 owner, then you’re at a serious disadvantage with this version of the game, not in the way that it plays or that it handles, but the way that it looks and sounds. You’ll find that with the lack of hooters and adult content, there really isn’t much here that makes it look like anything more than a Dave Mirra clone without the polish and without the fun. The lack of direction in the goals that you have to contend with and the way that the images seem to have errors in them makes me wonder if the game was rushed into circulation without really giving it a once over. If you’re an owner of the other two systems and you’re looking for hooters and cheap strippers, then you might want to look to the X-Box and Game Cube versions and leave this one alone.


Reviewer's Score: 6/10 | Originally Posted: 03/03/03, Updated 03/03/03


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