Review by SupaShinji

"It's Official! We've Failed as a Species!"

I wish that GameFAQs would let me use pictures for my reviews. If I could, the proceeding would be replaced simply with a picture of me with my head in my hand. My expectations were exceptionally handicapped for this one, but ''BMX XXX'' still couldn't meet them. I played this game so you don't have to. And here's why you shouldn't:

Gameplay - So when you heard about this project you may have said to yourself, ''Worst-Case Scenario: it ends up being ''Dave Mirra 3'' with breasts and crap''. Sorry. Whereas ''Dave Mirra'' 1&2 had some of the best extreme sports gameplay since ''Tony Hawk'', ''XXX'''s gameplay is very clunky and broken. Any sense of speed is gone, the maneuvering is poor, and it feels very unresponsive overall. The missions are weak and uninspired. I'd also advise against the 2-player mode, it'll only result in whoever you duped into playing beating the Hell from you.

Graphics/Sound - The graphics are very poor. Remember ''Custer's Revenge'' for the Atari 2600? If you do, you should get the point. If not, look it up. As for the sound, well I guess it's pretty hard to screw up fart noises. The voice clips sound like ''Chappelle Show'' rejects. One of the only good things that has come out of the ''XXX-TREME!!!'' theme of this game is the uncensored soundtrack, but with only N.E.R.D's ''Lapdance'' and 311's ''Down'' being really notable, it ends up a supreme waste.

Presentation - For shame, Z-Axis. I'm thoroughly embarrassed for the scar this will leave on the industry. This game has zero style, and before you start arguing otherwise let me assure you low brow humor is not a style. It's just dumb. And you’ll feel dumb for playing it.

Replay - Forget replay, I'm sorry if you played this once. But I suppose you may want to unlock all the ''IN YOUR FACE!!!'' stripper videos. And herein lies my final complaint. The videos contain...ready for this... NO NUDITY!!!!. Why would Acclaim release a game that appeals to just below the bassist tendencies of the bottom of the barrel and screws it up? All part of their plan to make us hate them, and they're doing a good job considering they haven't released a good game for the last ever.

Final - I think I've made my point. But I'd like to leave you with this: If you purchased this game or ones like it, such as ''Backyard Wrestling'', you have put yet another nail in the coffin, assuring that we will never see another ''Ico'', ''Wario Ware'' or ''Bust-a-Move'' stateside.
Congratulations. You are now on my enemies list.


Reviewer's Score: 1/10 | Originally Posted: 11/19/03


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