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Ratchet and Clank 3 Transcript List

Copyright 2006 Simon Purkess

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Contents
========
1. Disclaimer
2. About this Guide
3. Updates
4. Characters
5. Transcript
6. Credits

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1. Disclaimer
=============

This may be not be reproduced under any circumstances except for personal,
private use. It may not be placed on any web site or otherwise distributed 
publicly without advance written permission. Use of this guide on any other web
site or as a part of any public display is strictly prohibited, and a violation
of copyright.

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2. About this Guide
===================

Hi, I'm Sijapu17, and welcome to my first FAQ! This FAQ contains all of the
cutscenes from Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal, and a Character section.

3. Updates
==========

v1. Finished!

4. Characters
=============

The Q-Force
+++++++++++

The Q-Force is a group of people trying to stop Dr Nefarious, headed by Captain
Quark.

Ratchet
=======
Race: Lombax
Appearance: Yellow cat
Ratchet has saved the Solana Galaxy from chairman Drek, and the Bogon Galaxy
from the Protopets in the last two games. Now he must return with Clank to the
Solana Galaxy, where Dr Nefarious threatens to destroy all Organic life.

Clank
=====
Race: Robot
Appearance: Small, smart white robot, made of Titanium Alloy.
Clank has travelled with Ratchet after he crashed landed on Veldin. They
started off on shaky ground, but now they are firm friends. Clank sits on 
Ratchet's back using his Helipack, Thrusterpack and Hydropack to help Ratchet
to get around. Occasionally, Clank gets a slice of the action, teaming up with
Scrunch and his loyal team of Gadgebots.

Captain Quark
=============
Race: Human
Appearance: Green leotard, butt-shaped chin.
Quark and Ratchet haven't always been best friends. Quark has tried to kill
Ratchet several times, and even tried to frame Ratchet. But has Quark really
decided to team up with Ratchet?

Skrunch
=======
Race: Alien Monkey
Appearance: One-eyed monkey
Skunch met Quark in the Florana jungle. He helps Clank on his missions.

Captain Sasha
=============
Race: Cat-like
Appearance: Brown cat, purple clothes.
Sasha is the Captain of the Starship Pheonix, the HQ of the Q-Force. Sasha is
the daughter of the the Galactic President, and has the hots for Ratchet.

Big Al
======
Race: Unknown
Appearance: White jacket, beaver!?
Al is the team's scientist. He can decode data disks for you.

Skidd McMarx
============
Race: Lizard?
Appearance: Green lizard.
Skidd is a pro hoverboarder, but is a huge coward. The only useful thing he 
does is extend three bridges for you.

Helga
=====
Race: Human?
Appearance: German, fat. 
Helga is Quark's fitness trainer, who likes bossing people around. She gives
you a Hypershot and a Hacker.

Galactic Rangers
================
Race: Robot
Appearance: Robot
The rangers are cowards. You help them, and they give you bolts.

Enemies
+++++++

Dr Nefarious
============
Race: Robot
Appearance: Green brain, bluish body
Dr Nefarious is trying to wipe out all organic life, but how?

"Lawrence: You put the 'wit' in twit, sir.
Nefarious: Yes, I do, don't I?"

Lawrence
========
Race: Robot
Appearance: Butler
Lawrence is Dr Nefarious' butler. Nefarious doesn't seem to mind Lawrence's
insulting remarks.

Courtney Gears
==============
Race: Robot
Appearance: Popstar
Courtney Gears is a famous popstar, but seems to agree with Dr Nefarious' plans
for the destruction of organic life.

Klunk
=====
Race: Robot
Appearance: Clank look-a-like, red eyes.
Dr Nefarious' creation, what plans does Nefarious have for Klunk?

5. Transcript
=============

5a. Megapolis
5b. Veldin
5c. Florana
5d. Pheonix a
5e. Marcadia
5f. Pheonix b
5g. Annihilation Nation a
5h. Pheonix c
5i. Aquatos
5j. Pheonix d
5k. Tyhrranosis
5l. Pheonix e
5m. Daxx
5n. Obani Gemini
5o. Blackwater City
5p. Annihilation Nation b
5q. Holostar Studios
5r. Obani Draco
5s. Zeldrin Starport
5t. The Leviathon
5u. Pheonix f
5v. Metropolis
5w. Pheonix g
5x. The Crash Site
5y. Aridia
5z. Pheonix h
5A. Quark's Hideout
5B. Pheonix i
5C. Koros
5D. The Command Centre
5E. The Launch Site
5F. The Cinema
5G. An Asteroid, Outer Space

* Note that when I say 'Ratchet does such and such' it normally means that 
Clank is on his back, with the exception of Holostar Studios and the Giant 
Klunk battle.

* Scenes with
***www***
***www***
before them can be viewed on the official website:
http://www.us.playstation.com/Content/OGS/SCUS-97353/Site/ 
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5a. Megapolis
=============

I. Shocking

---
I. Shocking
+++++++++++

(Ratchet and Clank are sitting on a sofa in Clank's apartment, playing chess)

Ratchet: (Moves a piece) Ha! My Blargian snagglebeast devours your mutant swamp
fly. I bet you didn't see that one coming!

Clank:  (Knocks the piece back) Check... and mate.

Ratchet: What!! That's cheating!

Clank: On the contrary, the rules clearly state that the Blargian snagglebeast
has an allergic reaction to swamp flies that lasts two turns. (Looks at TV) 
Ooh, it is on again!

(Cut to TV)

***www***
See video channel 1 on the main page
***www***

Maktar Casino 12:31 AM

(Secret Agent Clank rolls two dice across a poker table. Applause is heard.)

Max Million: Your luck is extraodinary, Sir. But do you lose as
gracefully as you win?

Clank: I wouldn't know, Max Millian. I never lose.

Max Millian: There is a first time for everything, Agent Clank! (Presses a
button, causing 2 ninjas to appear. Clank deflects the ninja's shots onto a 
chandelier)

Max  Million: Ha! So much for Secret Agent Cl...(The chandelier falls down and 
electricutes him)

Clank: Shocking.

(Clank walks out with a robo girl. He throws his keys to Ratchet, who is
dressed as a butler)

Clank: Pull the car around, Jeeves. And mind the ejector seat this time. 
(Chuckles)

Ratchet: (sighs)

Announcer: Stay tuned for more Secret Agent Clank!

(Cut to Ratchet and Clank on the sofa)

Ratchet: Change the Channel.

Clank: But the man said to stay tuned.

(Ratchet grabs the remote control and presses a button. Cut to TV)

Darla Gratch: We are continuing our live coverage of the invasion of
Planet Veldin. Just hours ago, this backwater planet was invaded by a race
known as the Tyhrranoids. The Galactic Rangers are putting up a brave fight, 
but they don't really stand much chance of defeating the attackers. This 
reporter believes that Veldin will be destroyed in a matter of hours.
(4 Tyhrranoids approach from behind her) Darla Gratch, Channel 64 News.

Ratchet: They, are going, to pay.

(Cut to Ratchet and Clank by their ship.

Clank: But Veldin is in the Solana Galaxy!

Ratchet takes a stange metal component from his toolbox and proceeds with
putting it in the ship

Clank: Oh, No. Not the Gravimetric Warp Drive.

Ratchet ignores him

Clank: The un-tested Gravimetric Warp Drive.

Ratchet still ignores him

Clank: The one you built from Blargian Scrap Metal.

Ratchet: You coming?

Clank: We are doomed. (Gets in)

(Cut to Outer Space. The ship hurtles past. Clank is upside-down.)

Clank: I stand corrected.

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5b. Veldin
==========

I. New Sarge
II. Nitro
III. Scrap Metal
IV. A Secret Transmission

---

I. New Sarge
++++++++++++

The ship lands in Veldin.

Ranger 1: Look, a new sarge!

Ranger 2: Here Sarge, you can have my gun.

(Ratchet recieves a Shock Blaster)

II. Nitro
+++++++++

Ratchet fights through to where a ship is blocking his way.

Ranger 1: We need someone to take out that ship.

Ratchet: Let me guess, that person is me?

Ranger 1: We got a volunteer!

Ranger 2: Take this!

(Ratchet gets a Nitro Launcher)

III. Scrap Metal
++++++++++++++++

Ratchet reaches the dropship.

Ratchet: What's the situition?

Ranger 1: There's a bunch of 'noids in F sector.

Ranger 2: F Sector? No way man! We'll be scrap metal!

Ratchet: Get in there, soldiers.

Rangers: Sir, Yes Sir!

IV. A Secret Transmission
+++++++++++++++++++++++++

After clearing the sector, Ratchet reaches the dropship.

Ranger: We have a transmission from the President.

President: (On a screen) Is that Secret Agent Clank?

Clank: We are here to help.

President: I have recieved a top-secret report on the whereabouts of the one 
man that has defeated Dr Nefarious. Take a look at this.

***www***
See Video channel 2 on the main page
***www***


Announcer (Audio): On tonight's episode of Nature's Mysteries, we examine the 
Florana Tree Beast. Deep in the dense growth of Florana's forest lives a 
mysterious creature. Or maybe, he doesn't. It's one of Nature's Mysteries!

Man: I seen 'im run right through our camping site. He was butt ugly, and
holdin' a banana. Or maybe it wasn't a banana. It could be...

Announcer: One of Nature's Mysteries! Legend tells that this mysterious 
creature is actually one of the greatest super-heros that ever lived. Find out
the answers next time on Nature's Mysteries!


Ratchet: Are you sure this guy's the person your looking for? He seems a little
, Wacko!

President: Maybe, but he's the best chance we've got.


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5c. Florana
===========

I. Behind You
II. Captain Quark!
III. Incoming Call

---

I. Behind You
+++++++++++++

Ratchet and Clank make their way to the entrance of a cave.

Clank: We have company!

Ratchet: Where?

Clank: Behind you!

Ratchet: Where?

Clank: (muffled) Behind you!

Ratchet turns, revealing a monkey grabbing onto Clank.

Ratchet: Very funny, I hope you're having a good ti...Ahh

Florana Tree Beast: You are tresspassing on sacred ground. You must walk Path 
of Death. Path of Death!

II. Captain Quark!
++++++++++++++++++

Ratchet gets through the path.

Ratchet: We walked your Path of Death. Now tell us what you know about Dr
Nefarious!

FTB: Hmmmm?

Ratchet: This guy's even more stupid than...

Clank: Captain Quark!

Quark kicks Ratchet.

Ratchet: That's it, Quark, you've had this coming for a long time.

III. Incoming Call
++++++++++++++++++

Ratchet Defeats Quark.

Ratchet puts on Quark's mask.

Ratchet: How do I look?

Clank: Just keep the mask on. He thinks you are his new leader.

Ratchet, Clank, Quark and Skrunch (The Monkey) squeeze into Ratchet's ship.

Clank: Incoming call.

Sasha: (On screen) This is Captain Sasha of the Starship Pheonix speaking.
I see you have located Captain Quark.

Ratchet: Yeah, we got him, but, he thinks he's a monkey.

Sasha: I see. Bring him to the Pheonix, and we'll see what we can do.

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5d. Pheonix a
=============

I. Will You Marry Me?
II. Dad!

---

I. Will You Marry Me?
+++++++++++++++++++++

***www***
Click on the Pheonix in the worlds menu
***www***

(Outside the Pheonix)

Ratchet: Look Clank, this ship is amazing!

Sasha: (On screen) Welcome to The Pheonix, boys. The pride of the Galactic
fleet, The Pheonix is fitted with a virtual firing range, vendors for armour
and weapons, and a Gadgetron VG-9000 games system.

Ratchet: A VG-9000!

Sasha: With a Mavix Fireball-Pro controller, VR headset and Zero-g dance pad
attachment.

Ratchet: Will you marry me?

Sasha: (Giggles) You've obviously had a long trip. Why don't you go check out
your quarters. We've prepared a special living area for Quark, so he won't get
in your way. Come meet me on the bridge when you're ready.

II. Dad!
++++++++

Ratchet goes to the bridge.

Sasha: (To Ranger) We're loosing the signal. Try boosting the power.

President: (On screen which keeps losing picture) Thyrranoid invasion force 
..... presidential compound breached ..... can't hold out much longer .....

(The screen cuts out)

Sasha: Mr President! Dad!

(Cut to screen. Dr Nefarious is on the screen, and Lawrence is in the bottom 
corner, doing some interesting sign language.

Nefarious: Greetings, robots. Too long have we suffered under the squishiness
and foul stench of organic life forms. Soon, you will have the pleasure of my  
benevolent, iron-fisted rule. And as for you filthy organic life forms, you can
look forward to being ANNIHILATED! (He smashes into the camera.) That's all for
now.

(Cut to Pheonix)

Ratchet: We'll meet you on Planet Marcadia.

Ratchet flies to Marcadia

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5e. Marcadia
============

I. Greetings
II. Good With His Hands
III. First Edition

---

I. Greetings
++++++++++++

Ranger: Glad you could make it, Sarge. The presidential compound is on the
other side of the city.

II. Good With His Hands
+++++++++++++++++++++++

Ratchet makes his way to the dropship, and defeats a wave of 'noids.

President: I'm glad you two came. Who says you can't find good help these days,
eh Clank?

Clank: Thankyou Sir.

President: What's the Quark situation?

Clank: He has lost his memory.

President: Well you'll need to find it then. We need our star player back in 
the game ASAP.

R&C: Yes sir.

President: Ratchet, I hear you're a man who's good with his hands.

Ratchet: Sir, I swear I never...

President: The city's laser sheild system went down. We're defenseless without
it. I sent a repair man a couple of hours ago. I need you to find out what's 
happened to him.

Ratchet: Yes Sir!

First Edition
+++++++++++++

Ratchet picks up a refractor and uses it to get through the defense facility.

***www***
See Al in the Q-force menu
***www***

Ratchet: Look, it's Al.

Al: Silence. I'm concerntrating.

Ratchet: Isn't that a Quark Vid-comic?

Al: Excuse me, it is a historically accurate, interactive graphic novel.

Ratchet: How can you use the city's defense system to play a video game?

Al: Simple. I reprogrammed the moniter....(more computer talk)

Ratchet: Clank, you speak, er, nerd.

Clank: There appears to be a feedback loop in your induction system.

Al: Impossible! A  ran a check. (presses some buttons) Hey! There is a loop.
(Presses more buttons)

Automated Message: Sheild power restored.

Ratchet: Can we borrow that vid-comic?

Al: Treat it gently, it is a first edition.

Ratchet: Maybe this'll help get Quark's memory back.

Ratchet flies to the Pheonix.

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5f. Pheonix b
=============

I. VG Wizard
II. Flashback
III. Annihilation Nation

---

I. VG Wizard
++++++++++++

Ratchet: (On sofa) Watch and learn, Clank. This is how the real heroes get it
done.


Quark watches the screen intently as Ratchet plays as Quark, defeating Ghost 
Pirate Robots and a Robotic space eel.

II. Flashback
+++++++++++++

Quark concerntrates hard, and a number of memories come back to him.

Quark: (picks up a mirror) Well who's that handsome fellow. (looks at Ratchet)
Who's running this place? This dressing room isn't fit for a pig!

Sasha: He may need a little time to adjust. Meanwhile, I've got a perfect
mission for you. I've just heard about a prototype hologuise device which can
disguise someone as a tyhrranoid. It's the grand prize on this week's 
Annihilation Nation. Take a look at this.

III. Annihilation Nation
++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sasha presses a button on her reote control, and a show comes up on the screen
in Ratchet's quarters.

Announcer (Audio): Welcome to Annihilation Nation! Today's victim, oops, I mean 
contestant is ..... Fred! Fred is a Gadgetron accountant who claims that once a
Morph-o-ray went off in his pants! What a champ! Lets see what he's up against!

Pictures of the deathcourse come up.

Announcer: Doesn't look too hard, does it?

Fred walks to the start, and gets zapped by a laser coming from the ceiling.

Announcer: Next!

Cut to Ratchet's quarters.

Ratchet: Another day, another deathcourse.

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5g. Annihilation Nation a
=========================

I. Ladies
II. Log Entry

---



I. Ladies
+++++++++

***www***
See Annihilation Nation in the worlds menu
***www***

Announcer (Audio): Please welcome, our next contestant! He's an unemployed 
rocket mechanic who claims to have saved two galaxies, but most of us know him 
as Secret Agent Clank's bumbling sidekick. Please welcome, Ratchet! Ratchet 
hopes that the Tyhrra-guise will make him more attractive to the ladies! 

Ratchet: Hey!

Announcer: Ratchet will try to be the first person ever to survive the 
deathcourse! Contestant number one, are you ready?

Ratchet: Bring it on!

II. Log Entry
+++++++++++++

Ratchet completes the deathcourse, finding vid-comic 2 at the end. He then
completes the arena challenge.

Annoucer: And here to present the prize, the lovely Miss Courtney Gears!

Courtney Gears gives Ratchet a small green circle. Ratchet wears it, and turns
into a Thyrranoid.

Announcer: What d'you know, folks? He IS better looking!

Sasha: (On screen) Ahh!

Clank: Do not be alarmed. This, is Ratchet.

Sasha: Oh. Well you're not going to believe this, but the President put Quark
in charge of the fight against Nefarious! Look at this.

Quark's Voice: Log entry number (?). After defeating Dr Nefarious, I focused my
attention on the needy one-eyed monkeys of the Florana jungle. I still yearn 
for that bitter-sweet stench of my banana-eating friends. But when I heard that
Dr Nefarious had risen again, I returned to become the legendary superhero,
CAPTAIN QUARK!

Sasha: Quark's just called his first meeting, you'd better get back to the
Pheonix right away.

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5h. Pheonix c
=============

I. Q
II. Bubby

---

I. Q
++++

***www***
See the Q-force menu
***www***

(Quark is standing on the bridge, and Al, Helga, Skidd McMarx, Sasha, Skrunch,
Ratchet and Clank are standing in front of him.)

Quark: Ladies, gentlemen, oh, and Helga, you have been assembled here because 
of your skills, from Al's mastery of electronics, to Skidd's nerves of steel, 
to Helga's powers of seduction, Rraagh! Each of you has proven worthy to wear
the Q! Our first mission will be to infiltrate Nefarious' top secret base on
planet Aquatos. Impossible, you say? Perhaps for a lesser strategerist. Behold,
my brilliant plan!

(Quark's plan is illustrated on the screen with crudely drawn wax crayon
pictures)

Quark's Voice: First, Ratchet and Clank will wade through a series of tunnels
of waist-high raw sewage.

Ratchet's Voice: What?!

Quark's Voice: Please hold your questions until the end of the presentation.
Then our agents must split up. Clank will enter the ventilation shaft, where he
will deploy this Banana Guided Autonomus Monkey Device, or the BGAMD. Ratchet
will use his knowledge of the Tyhhranoid language and customs to win the trust
of the alien guards, sneak into Nefarious' personal office, steal everything
that isn't nailed down, and exfiltrate the base completely undetected!

Ratchet: That's crazy!

Quark: But it just might work!

II. Bubby
+++++++++

Ratchet and Clank are in their ship, when a message comes up.

Ratchet: Oh no!

Secret Agent Clank Director: Clank! Bubby! You're killing me! I'm trying to 
make a picture here, but mr bigshot star is nowhere to be found. 

Clank: I am currently occupied with a mission of galactic security.

Director: I see. You want a bigger trailer? Done. Daily oil massage? Done. I
need my star back!

Ratchet: (Makes fuzzing sounds) I think we're (fuzz) breaking up (fuzz).

Director: You know I can see you, weasel boy.

Ratchet: Oh yeah! How about now! (Turns communictator off). (To Clank) He'll
figure something out, we've got work to do!

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5i. Aquatos
===========

I. Shadow Dude
II. Slim Dealings
III. SOAQ!
IV. Monkeying Around
V. G5
VI. Disturbing
VII. Something Special
VIII. Bowels
IX. Dirty Laundry
X. Disgusting


---

I. Shadow Dude
++++++++++++++

***www***
Click Skidd in the Q-force menu
***www***

After landing, Ratchet finds Skidd in the sewers.

Ratchet: Skidd! What're you doing here?

Skidd: The codename's Shadow Dude. Black ops are my speciality.

Ratchet: I think we've got this one covered.

Skidd: Alright, I'll just take my hacker and go back up to the ship.

Ratchet: Hacker? On second thought, welcome to the team, Shadow Dude.

Skidd: Awesome, this is gonna be sick!

II. Slim Dealings
+++++++++++++++++

They make their way through the sewers, until they find a room with a strange 
pillar in the middle.

???: Psst!

Clank: We are not alone.

Skidd: Um, I, er, forget to feed my, er, goldfish. I'll meet you back at the...

???: Psst!

Skidd: Ahhh! (Dives into the teleporter)

Ratchet: Slim Cognito? What are you doing here?

Slim: I neede a quieter place to do buisiness. I had a small run in with the 
cops, involving a suck cannon upgrade mistakedly sold to a minor. I swear the 
kid looked 18! So anyway, I take it you two are still in the market?

Ratchet: Well, let's see what you've got.

Ratchet inspects Slim's wares, before taking a submarine to Nefarious' base.

III. SOAQ!
++++++++++

Clank: Here's the ventilation shaft. We must split up here.

Ratchet: I guess it's time to put on the Tyhrraguise, and go meet my new pals.
(Presses the Tyhrraguise) 

Ratchet: (In Tyhrranese) How do you work this thing?

Clank: Perhaps you should have read the instruction manual.

Ratchet: (In Tyhrranese) What instruction manual?

Clank: It was nice knowing you.

Ratchet: (In Tyhrranese) Son of a Quark!

IV. Monkeying Around
++++++++++++++++++++

***www***
Click Skrunch on the Q-Force menu
***www***

Clank goes through the ventilation shaft, and finds a suitcase. He opens it,
and finds the BGAMD, a banana, and Skrunch.

Clank: No monkeying around, we're on an important mission. Hmmm, monkeying!

Skrunch: (Monkey sounds)

Clank: Ahem, we are on an important mission!

V. G5
+++++

***www***
Click Skrunch on the Q-Force menu
***www***

Clank gets to a lowered bridge. He contacts Ratchet via a walky-talky.

Clank: I need you to rasie the bridge at junction G5.

Ratchet: (In Tyhrranese) I'm on it.

VI. Disturbing
++++++++++++++

Ratchet makes his way to Nefarious' office. He creeps up behind the main chair,
wrench raised. The chair spins round, and Ratchet finds...

Ratchet: Clank! What are you doing here!?

Clank: I thought I would help.

Ratchet: Look, he has the entire Secret Agent Clank holo-vid collection!

Clank: That's, disturbing. I have downloaded an encrypted star map.

Ratchet: Maybe Al can decode it. Let's go.

VII. Something Special
++++++++++++++++++++++

Ratchet freefalls down a sewer chute, and finds the Plumber.

Ratchet: Deja vous!

Plumber: Oof! Oh, it's you two again. What're you doing here?

Ratchet: We were just passing through.

Plumber: Oh. This here's one the stinkiest sewers in the galaxy. Most people 
stay away, but me? I just can't get enough. Oh, and by the way, if you find me
any sewer crystals, I'll pay you, in bolts. I'm making somethibg special for 
the missus.

Ratchet: Sewer crystals? OK.

VIII. Bowels
++++++++++++

Ratchet gives some sewer crystals to the Plumber.

Plumber: Mmm, fresh from the bowels of a king ameboid.

Ratchet: (Gags)

Ratchet Leaves the planet

IX. Dirty Laundry
+++++++++++++++++

Lawrence walks up to Nefarious, who is watching the episode of Secret Agent 
Clank that R&C watched in Megapolis.

Lawrence: Sorry to disturb your work, sir, but you may want to know that your
impenatreble base on planet Aquatos has been penatrated.

Nefarious: What! Who is responsible for this outrage!

Lawrence: I believe it was Captain Quark, or something.

Nefarious: Qua- (The components in Nefarious' head seize up, and the words from
a soap opera start.

Nefarious' Head: Oh Janice, you'll always be the love of my life.

Lawrence: (Whacks Nefarious on the head) He has also assembled a group of elite
agents, known as the Q-force.

Nefarious: What! Eradicate them! Annihilate them all!

Lawrence: It's on my to-do list. Right after folding your under-garments.

X. Disgusting
+++++++++++++

After getting the Gravity Boots, Ratchet returns to collect the rest of the
crystals.

Ratchet: That's the last of 'em. So what exactly are sewer crystals?

Plumber: You don't want to know.

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5j. Pheonix d
=============

I. Meatloaf

---

I. Meatloaf
+++++++++++

Quark: I think some congratulations are in order. MY plan went even better than
expected! Well?

Skidd: Uh, way to go, dude?

Quark: Don't mention it! I was just doing my job. Anyway, now we know exactly
where the Tyhrranoids a coming from. So, with utter disregard for my own safety
, I have concocted a plan for an attack on Tyhrranosis!

(Same type of wax crayon drawings as before)

Quark's Voice: First, I shall humbly step aside to let Ratchet take out the
mortar launchers at the landing site. Then the dropship will make it's descent.
Using the assault vehicle, Ratchet
will make his way to the four plasma cannons and destroy them. Finally, Ratchet
will personally lead the assault on the main enemy base.

Quark: (Notices that Ratchet has his hand up) Yes, you there at the front.

Ratchet: Uh yeah hi. What are you guys going to be doing while I'm out
there getting blasted?

Quark: We'll be monitoring the situation. Closely. From here. (Goes up to Helga
) Actually we'll be at the lunch buffet on deck 5. It's meatloaf day! (To 
Ratchet) But we'll be rooting for you every step of the way!

Skidd: Yeah, we got your back!

Helga: The plan is excellant!

Skrunch: (Monkey noises)
 
-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5k. Tyhrranosis
===============

I. Assault Vehicle
II. Aerial Assault
III. Iron Hard

---

I. Assault Vehicle
++++++++++++++++++

Ratchet freefalls down, and destroys the mortar launchers. He comes to a half-
raised bridge.

Sascha: (On screen) We're coming in on the dropship now. (The dropship deposits
a Turboslider. Skrunch is the gunner.) Get across that bridge.

II. Aerial Assault
++++++++++++++++++

Ratchet destroys the Plasma cannons. The dropship fires four missiles as it
flies past the main base. The door is blasted open.

Sascha: (On screen) Get moving!

III. Iron Hard
++++++++++++++

Ratchet defeats the Momma Tyhrranoid. Suddenly Quark jumps in and stamps on the
creature's eyes. Darla Gratch appears to interview Quark.

Darla: From another comeback, to a spectacular battle against the Tyhrranoids
on their own planet. How do you do all this?

Quark: Courage...Compassion...IRON HARD ABS! Seriously though, to be a true 
hero, you need more than  that. I couldn't have done it without (Ratchet looks
hopeful) these great big guns! (Kisses his arms)

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5l. Pheonix e
=============

I. Riveted
II. Gadget Stop
III. Cocky
---

I. Riveted
++++++++++

Ratchet is in his Quarters with Sascha, Clank and Skidd.

Ratchet: It was the biggest Tyhrranoid you've ever seen. as big as a star
cruiser, and packing twice as much firepower. Closer, closer, what am I gonna 
do? Closer, closer, click click, my blaster jammed!

A hologram of Nefarious and Lawrence appears on the table.

Lawrence: Oh go on, we're all riveted.

Nefarious: So this is the Q-Force I've heard so much about. Pathetic! I could
annihilate you all and it wouldn't even make Supervillain Weekly!

Lawrence: But you'd do the fashion world a tremendous favour.

Nefarious: You can turn it off now, Lawrence.

Lawrence: Oh may I sir? What a treat.

The hologram disappears.

Rathcet: Al, come in.

Al: (On screen) Y'ello.

Ratchet: Someone just transmitted a message onto the ship. I need you to find
out where it came from. 

Al: Let's see, backtracking the signal. Amateurs! (To Ratchet) I've found 
something suspicious. Beaming it over now.

***www***
See video channel 3 on the main page
***www***

Announcer (Audio): On tonight's episode of Super Villain Weekly, we take a look
into the enigmatic mind of Dr Nefarious, on the weapons facility on planet Daxx
, home to such super-weapons as The Dreaded Rainbow Afrolyzer. Dr Nefarious,
what do you think of critics who say that your latest work is just more of the
same.

Nefarious: I WILL ANNIHILATE THEM!

Announcer: Lawrence, tell us a bit about this super-weapon you're creating.

Lawrence: Well, 'super' is such a strong word, and for that matter 'weapon' may 
be a tad over-doing it. But we do however have a lovely view of the ocean at
sunset.

Announcer: Is Dr Nefarious on the brink of Galactic Dominaion? Or is this just
the first in a series of maniacal pipe dreams? Stay tuned for more on Super 
Villain Weekly!

Ratchet: Planet Daxx? We better check it out.

II. Gadget Stop
+++++++++++++++

***www***
Click Helga on the Q-force menu.
***www***

Ratchet meets Helga by the holo-deck.

Helga: So! You've come to disgrace my training course once again!

Ratchet: Actually, we were just hoping to pick up the gadgets and split.

Clank: We have a spaceship to catch.

Helga: You slackers are always looking for the easy way out. When you pass the
course, you can have the devices.

III. Cocky
++++++++++

Ratchet completes the course, using the hypershot and the hacker.

Ratchet: That wasn't too difficult.

Helga: Oh ho ho! The little man is cocky now! How'd he like to take on Helga
on the wrestling mat. We'll see how cocky he is twisted up like a wet noodle.

Ratchet: Maybe another time.

Helga: Pansies! (Throws the two gadgets to Ratchet)

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5m. Daxx
========

I. Biobliterator
II. Courtney Gears
III. An Idiot Calls

---

I. Biobliterator
++++++++++++++++

Ratchet uses his hacker to get to the control computer.

Clank: This computer will give us high level access to Nefarious' project files
(types while speaking). I've found something. It does not look good.

Ratchet: Biobliterator? I see what you mean. What exactly does it do?

Clank: That information has been deleted. Location unknown, however a large 
transport vessel left the facility yesterday, headed for the Obani moons.

Ratchet: The Obani moons? We'd better check it out.

II. Courtney Gears
++++++++++++++++++

Ratchet uses his hypershot to get through the island level and defeats an uber-
dropship. He reaches another computer. The room is covered with Courtney Gears
posters.


Ratchet: Looks like someeone's a big fan of Courtney Gears.

Clank: Courtney who?

Ratchet: You know, that bombshell handing out prizes on Annihilation Nation.

Clank: Ah yes. Her specifications were remarkable.

Ratchet: Well she's not the hottest popstar ing the galaxy because of her 
singing.
 
Clank: This computer has recently used to edit one of her music videos.

Ratchet: Ooh! Let's watch it! I mean, it could contain a clue, or something...

The video comes on. Courtney Gears is singing, and she has some backup dancers.

***www***
See video channel 4 on the main page
***www***

(Talking)
Hey, what's up people, it's Courtney Gears!
Are you feeling me robots? 
I'm feeling you!

(Singing)
I see the future, and what do I see?
Robots going crazy 'cross the galaxy!
Can't stand organics, they're soft and squishy,
The time is now, where robots must be free!

(Talking)
You wanna be free?
Then shout with me!

(Singing)
This goes out to all you robots 'cross the galaxy,
It's time for you and me to rise up and strike back!
Won't stop until we dominate, won't you feel great,
When we exterminate all organic life!

Clank: Miss Gears may be in league with Dr Nefarious.

Ratchet: Who knew? She always seemed so sweet and innocent in her songs. Except
for that one with the (Ratchet plays a beat with his tongue, and ends up 
bending over as if to kiss Clank.

Clank: Miss Gears may have information about what Nefarious is planning.

Ratchet: And if we win the grand prize on Annihilation Nation we'll get another
chance to talk to her.

III. An Idiot Calls
+++++++++++++++++++

As Ratchet gets into the ship, Skidd comes up on the screen.

Skidd: How d'you work this camera majiggy. Ow! Maybe... Oof! Hey Ratchet!

Ratchet: Skidd?! Can you get Captain Sascha for me?

Skidd: She and Quark are having lunch with the president. I've been left in 
charge.

Ratchet: Is Al there?

Skidd: Out to lunch.

Ratchet: Helga?

Skidd: In the sauna.

Clank: Quark's monkey perhaps?

Ratchet: Just tell Sascha that we're checking out a lead on the Obani Moons.

Skidd: The Obani moons? Sounds like you two could use a little help. I'll just
get my gear. (dashes off)

Ratchet: No no! 

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5n. Obani Gemini
================

I. Blackwater Attack

---

I. Blackwater Attack
++++++++++++++++++++

Ratchet finds Skidd on the second moon.

Skidd: Cover me! (falls over) Man down!

Ratchet: It's all right Skidd, the fight's over.

Skidd: Oh. (picks himself up) I would have come sooner, but I encountered some
heavy duty resistance.

Clank: Enemy troops?

Skidd: Not exactly... The drive-thru at Galaxy burger was like wicked slow...

Ratchet: That last moon is protected by an Omega Class Disintegration Field. If
I had the right tools, I could hack into that generator and turn off the shield
.

Skidd: Lucky for you guys I got this. (Brings out a crowbar. He holds it the
wrong way up) Oh no, it's broke. (Turns it over) Oh wait, never mind.

Clank: Incoming call from the Galactic Rangers.

Ranger: Sarge! Blackwater city is under attack. We're pretty much hosed, so can
you...

Ranger 2: AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! Run for your lives!

(Cut back to the moon)

Ratchet: Come on Skidd, the Rangers need our help.

Skidd: Uh, this lock could take a while...

Ratchet: OK, give us a call if anything comes up.
 
-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5o. Blackwater City
===================

I. Gravity

---

I. Gravity
++++++++++

Ratchet drives the enemy off the planet.

Ranger: Thanks Sarge. I tripped over these when  I was running from the 
Tyhrranoids. I believe they're your size. (Tosses Ratchet Gravity Boots)

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5p. Annihilation Nation b
=========================

I. Busy

---

I.Busy
++++++

Ratchet completes the gauntlet. Courtney Gears approaches to give Ratchet Vid-
comic 3.

Ratchet: If we do this right, she'll lead us straight to Dr Nefarious. Better
let me do the talking.

Ratchet: What a great pleasure it is for you to meet me, I mean me, to meet you
!

Gears thrusts the Vid-comic at Ratchet, knocking him off balance. She turns to 
Clank.

Gears: Agent Clank, you look even better in person than you do on the Holo-vid.
You know, I have a few things which may need your special investigation.

Clank: I will report your concerns to the proper authorities.

Gears: Oh Agent Clank, you always know what to say to a woman. You know, I'd do
anything to get a part in one of your holo-films.

Clank: That can be arranged. If you can give us information on the whereabouts
of Dr Nefarious.

Gears: My, we have been busy. Get me that part, and I'll tell you anything you
want to know.

Clank: Meet me at Holostar studios.


-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5q. Holostar Studios
====================

I. Basket-Weaving
II. Capture
III. Aggh!
IV. Sprockets
V. Like a Shadow, dude

---

I. Basket-Weaving
+++++++++++++++++

Ratchet and SAC are in a fake ship.

Clank: Jeeves, activate the cloaking device.

Ratchet: With pleasure. (Presses a button) Now you see us, now you...

Clank is ejected out of ship.

Ratchet: Crud.

Director: Cut, cut! That's it kid, you've disgraced my set for the last time.
Take a basket weaving. You're fired! Bring me the monkey!

Ratchet: (To Clank) I'll meet you back at the trailer.

Director: We'll scrap the chase scene and go straight to the grande finale.
Clank, you did read that script I sent you?

Clank: Ummm...

Director: Chase Max Million... yadda yadda yadda... defeat the Terror of Tallos
... yadda yadda yadda... and rescue the baroness, played by the lovely miss 
Courtney Gears. 
 
II. Capture
+++++++++++

Clank finishes filming.

Director: Cut, put it in the can, take five everybody! Pure box office 
raritanium Clank, even the critics are gonna love it!

Gears: (Picks Clank up) Agent Clank, you have no idea how great it feels to be 
rescued by a gorgeous hunk of titanium alloy like you.

Clank: Now will you tell me what Dr Nefarious is planning?

Gears: I have a better idea. Why don't you ask him yourself! (Shocks Clank)

Nefarious: (On screen) What is it?

Gears: I've got a present for you, snooky-wookums.

Nefarious: Don't call me that! Just bring me Agent Clank.

Gears: Whatever you say, smoochy-cake.
  
Clank awakens in a strange room.

Clank: Where am I? Is somebody there?

Nefarious: Agent Clank. I have watched all your holo-films, since your first 
adventure battling the mind-stealing snotbeasts from Dimension X! You are a 
hero to every robot in the Galaxy! But still, you deny your destiny and follow
the squishies! 

Clank: Organic life forms have as much right to live as we do. I don't see why
we should exclude them.

Nefarious: Then I will give you a reason. Join me, and together we will rule an
army of robots! Or refuse, and follow your beloved squishies into the black 
hole of oblivion!

III. Aggh!
++++++++++

Ratchet is sitting by Clank's trailer.

Ratchet: Clank should've been back by now. What could be taking him so long?
(Sees Tyhrranoids) Aggh!

IV. Sprockets
+++++++++++++

Ratchet fights through the Tyhrranoids and finds Klunk, Clank's evil 
counterpart. But Ratchet thinks that this is Clank.

Ratchet: Clank! Where were you? 

Klunk: I was having my sprockets loomed.

Ratchet: You picked a fine time for a tune-up. Where's Courtney Gears?

Klunk: Miss Gears has left the planet.

Ratchet: What about Dr Nefarious?

Klunk: Is currently aboard a cruiser called, the Leviathon.

Ratchet: Um, great work Clank.

Klunk's eyes flash red.

V. Like a Shadow, dude
++++++++++++++++++++++

---
Note
---

If you complete Holostar Studios before completing Blackwater City, the 
following message will come at the end of Blackwater rather than here.


Skidd is on the ship's screen.

Ratchet: Hey Skidd. How's the stakeout going?

Skidd: Awesome! A couple of minutes ago this totally tricked out space limo 
rose up and dude, you won't believe who was in it. Courtney Gears!

Ratchet: Did anyone see you?

Skidd: No way, man. I've been sneaking around, keeping a low profile. I'm like
a shadow, dude.

Ratchet: And you're sure it was her?

Skidd: Totally. She even signed my t-shirt!

Ratchet: Skidd, get out of there!

Skidd: Wait a second, somebody's coming. Hey, you hear about the t-shirt? 
Bidding starts at 300 bolts. Whoa! Hey!

Ratchet: Skidd's in trouble. Let's go.

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5r. Obani Draco
===============

I. Impossible!
II. Location, Location, Location

---

I. Impossible!
+++++++++++++++

Ratchet uses his Gravity boots to get to the core of the moon.

Clank: We can see a recording with this computer.

(Cut to screen. Skidd is strapped to a metal platform. Gears is beside him,
adjusting some controls)

Skidd: I never knew you this kinky, Miss Gears.

Gears: Don't you ever shut up?

Skidd: All right, I'm zipping it. (As he speaks, a laser charges up) Man, the
guys aren't gonna believe this HEY!!! 

The laser hits him and turns him into a robot.

Robot Skidd: Like destroy all squishies, and stuff.

Ratchet: What! They turned Skidd into a robot! That's impossible!

Klunk: Not, for Dr Nefarious (red eye flash).

Gears (audio): Don't worry, Ratchet. The transformation doesn't hurt, (giggles)
MUCH.

Ratchet is teleported to the music video room.   

Gears: Besides, I think you'll enjoy being a robot.

Ratchet: Let's hope that you can fight better than you can sing.

II. Location, Location, Location
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Ratchet defeats Gears.

Klunk: One disposible popstar, disposed. (Laughs. Eye flash)

Ratchet: Are you okay Clank?

Sascha (Screen): We've located the Leviathon. It's refueling at the Zeldrin
Starport now. Quark and the monkey are already there.

Ratchet: I might be a trap. I think Courtney Gears was setting us up. Still, it
could be our only hope of finding Nefarious. C'mon Clank, we'll come back for
Skidd later.

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5s. Zeldrin Starport
====================

I. Monkey Buisiness
II. Shotgun

---

I. Monkey Buisiness
+++++++++++++++++++

Ratchet finds Quark and Skrunch at the Q-shuttle, arguing.

Skrunch: (Angry noises)

Quark: I thought we were going to put that monkey buisiness behind us!

Skrunch: (Angry noises)

Quark: It was mating season. How was I supposed to know she was your sister?
(Notices R&K) How long have you two been standing there.

Klunk: Too long.

Quark: Well, stop lollygagging and get to work! We'll infiltrate the cruiser
completely undetected with this shuttle. 

II. Shotgun
+++++++++++

The shuttle travels from the port to the Leviathon.

Klunk: Shotgun!

Quark: Move over, I'll drive.

Ratchet: No thanks. I'd rather make it there in one piece.

Quark: Step down, soldier. This is your captain speaking!

Ratchet: Captain my... oof! Don't sit on the flight stick!

Quark: AARRGGHH!



-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5t. The Leviathon
=================

I. Too Quiet
II. Riff Raff
III. The Treachery of Klunk

---

I. Too Quiet
++++++++++++

Ratchet: (Whispering) It's too quiet. I don't like it.

Quark: (loudly) Once again my brilliant plan has caught the enemy completely
unawares. 

Klunk: (Eye flash) Message recieved. (Laughs).

Ratchet: Whassat Clank?

Klunk: Nothing.

We'll split up and search the ship. But remember, Nefarious is mine!

Ratchet: Not unless we get to him first. Come on Clank, let's get some payback
for Skidd.

II. Riff Raff
+++++++++++++

The four get to the bridge.

Lawrence: The riff-raff have arrived, sir.

Nefarious: Captain Quark, you've put on a bit of weight since last we met.

Quark: Oh yeah? Courtney Gears did'nt seem to mind.

Nefarious: QQQUUUAAAAAARRRR... (His head seizes up and a soap opera plays).

Lawrence: This is the best part of my day. (Clouts Nefarious over the head).

Nefarious: ...RRRKKKKK!!!! I lured you here so I could witness your demise!
(He presses a red button)

Overhead speaker: Auto-Destruct sequence initiated. Bye bye.

Nefarious: Lawrence, teleport us out of here.

Lawrence presses a button on his watch, and disappears.

Nefarious: Lawrence?! This isn't funny Lawrence! (Nefarious disappears).

Quark jumps up, away from the exit.

Ratchet: What are you doing? This ship could explode any second!

Quark: I think I've spotted something important. I can't leave without it! I'll
meet you back at the shuttle!

III. The Treachery of Klunk
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Ratchet, Klunk and Skrunch are sitting in the shuttle, waiting for Quark.

Ratchet: C'mon, Quark!

Klunk: We must leave now!

Ratchet: Not without Quark! He would of waited for us. I think.

Klunk: Good for him. (Presses a button).

Ratchet: Wait!

The shuttle shoots out of the Leviathon, which crashes down onto planet Zeldrin
.

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5u. Pheonix f
=============

I. Swearing
II. Funeral Games

---

I. Swearing
+++++++++++

Sascha runs up to Ratchet, and hugs him.

Sascha: I'm... We're all very glad you made it back safely. We heard everything
over the com-link.

Ratchet: Did you detect any other craft leaving the ship? (Al shakes his head)
An escape pod? Anything?

Sascha: Nothing. Captain Quark died a hero.

Cut to the bridge. There is a podium with Quark's portrait on the front.

Helga (Sobbing): And we would frolic in fitness course unto the wee hours of 
the morning...

Ratchet leads Helga off.

Ratchet: Captain Quark had so many, brilliant, qualities, I just don't know
where to begin...

Klunk: Such as...

Ratchet: Well he was really...tall! And he had this really big chin, with you
know a kind of butt-shape on it... You know, I think I've droned on long enough
...(rushes from the podium)

President (On screen): I just heard what happened, and I offer my condolences
to the team. Quark was noble, brave, and humble to the core.

Klunk: What a load of bull...

Ratchet: Shhhh!!!

President: His noble spirit lives on in each of you. Keep going!

Al hands Ratchet a copy of vid-comic 4.

Al: This came in the mail for Quark. He'd want you to have it.

Ratchet: Thanks Al. You know, this could give us an idea about what Nefarious
is planning next. 

II. Funeral Games
+++++++++++++++++

Ratchet plays Vid-comic 4, which shows Captain Quark defeating Nefarious in
Metropolis.

Al: Aren't you gonna access the secret costumes? (Snatches controller) Here, 
I'll use the cheat codes. Up, up, down, down, left, right, circle, square, 
square. Look, he's in a tutu! (Note: This cheat actually works.)

Ratchet: Metropolis! Nefarious attacked Metropolis years ago, and now he's got
his secret weapon, he's ready to make his move. 

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5v. Metropolis
==============

I. Battle
II. Galactic Idol
III. Ratchet the Idiot
IV. Dead or Worse

---

I. Battle
+++++++++

There are many plasma shots flying through the sky.

Ratchet: We're too late, the battle's already started!

Ratchet notices that Klunk is staring red-eyed into space.

Ratchet: Are you OK Clank? I think I should get Al to take a look at your 
circuitry.

Cut to Nefarious, who is on a train on the other side of the city, with 
Lawrence beside him, and Clank in a cage. Ratchet is on a screen.

Nefarious: Ha ha ha! Klunk will lead Ratchet right to me!

Clank: Ratchet will put an end to your plans!

Nefarious: The only end in Ratchet's future is the end of his life!

II. Galactic Idol
+++++++++++++++++

Ratchet travels further through the city.

Nefarious: It is time for the unveiling of my new weapon! Lawrence!

Lawrence hands Nefarious a remote control, which Nefarious presses. A 
holographic Nefarious appears.

Hologram: (singing really badly) You are my robot lover! You make my sprockets
go ZAP ZAP ZAP with your love!

The hologram disappears. Nefarious knocks Lawrence over.

Lawrence: Oops! My mistake. That was your audition for Galactic Idol wasn't it?
Do carry on. (Hands Nefarious another remote, which Nefarious presses)

A huge grey ball with orange lines on it rises up into the sky.

Ratchet notices the ball charging up, and dives behind a building. The ball
releases a beam of energy, turning the Tyhrranoids into robots.

III. Ratchet the Idiot
++++++++++++++++++++++

Ratchet reaches the train.

Ratchet: Look, Clank! There's Nefarious! And that butler guy! And... they've
got Clank! Wait a second... (Klunk walks away from Ratchet). (Points at the 
cage) I don't suppose there's any chance that he's the evil Clank? (Klunk 
shakes his head). No, I didn't think so. I guess I should be feeling preeeetty
stupid about now.

Nefarious: HAHAHAHAHA!!! I've laughed so hard today! I'm going to destroy all
your pathetic squishies... it's almost a shame you're not going to be alive to
see it! (Teleports away)

Klunk transforms into giant Klunk.   

IV. Dead or Worse
+++++++++++++++++

Ratchet wins the battle. He throws his wrench at the cage, breaking.

Clank: I'm so sorry, Ratchet.

Ratchet: Knock it off Clank. Nefarious did this. And he's gonna pay! Now let's
get off this planet before we wind up dead... or worse.

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5w. Pheonix g
=============

I. Cyborg

---

I. Cyborg
+++++++++

Ratchet and Sascha are watching the news on the bridge.

Gratch: Just hours ago, Metropolis was attacked by mysterious machines called
Biobliterators, which have since disappeared. Citizens are in a state of shock.

(Cut to Gratch and the President)

Gratch: Mr President, how do you think that these attacks will affect your
re-election campaign this fall?

President: I'm glad you asked me that, Darla. Our research shows that 100% of
the population will be robots by this time next week, which is great news,
because as you know, I'm half robot myself! (Pulls a mask off, showing robotic
body parts.

Cut to Pheonix.

Sascha: I don't believe this! Everyone's acting like Nefarious has already won!

Ratchet: Maybe he has. If we don't stop him, he'll attack planet after planet,
leaving nothing but robots in his wake.

Sascha: Wait a minute, didn't Quark say he saw something important? Maybe it's
still on the ship?

Ratchet: The ship went down on Planet Zeldrin. It's a long shot, but It's 
worth a try.

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5x. The Crash Site
==================

I. Quark's Sister
II. Party Time

---

I. Quark's Sister
+++++++++++++++++

Ratchet, Clank and Skrunch arrive at a small pod.

Ratchet: Look at this! An escape shuttle! And footprints! Someone else made it
off that ship alive!

Clank: We must have just missed them. This pocket crotchetizer is still warm!
 
Ratchet: Eww! (Ratchet notices that Skrunch has a data disk) What's he got 
there?

Clank: It appears to be an encrypted data disk. Maybe Al can decode it. A call
was made from the ship's emergency communication system. There is a recording.

Cut to recording. Quark is on the left, dressed as a woman. The taxi driver is
on the right.

*note* Quark's voice often switches between male (m) and female (f).

Taxi Driver: Supernova taxi. Whoa! This must be my lucky day! Where can I pick
you up?

Quark: (f) I'm on planet Zeldrin. Just look for the huge wrecked starcruiser,
you can't miss it!

Driver: Wrecked starcruiser? You sound like a girl who knows how to party. 
How's about you and me go to the cyber disco tonight?

Quark: (m) Watch it buddy! I mean (f) don't get fresh with me!

Driver: Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I mean, a woman like you, in a dress 
like that...

Quark: (f) Oh this? It's just something I threw together.

Driver: So where are we headed?

Quark: (f) I'll tell you that when you get here. And if you keep this quiet, 
there's another five bolts in it for you!

II. Party Time
++++++++++++++

Ranger: Hi sarge! do you want to come to planet Aridia... it's H22's birthday..
. we're having a party!

Ratchet: I dunno... sounds more like a battle.

Ranger: (To other ranger) I told you he wouldn't fall for it!

Ratchet: Just hang in there, I'll be there as soon as I can.

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5y. Aridia
==========

I. The most useless gadget

---

I. The most useless gadget
++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Ranger: Sarge, over here! (disappears)

Ratchet: What the...

Ranger: (Appears) Pretty cool, huh! It's called a warp pad. Great for running
away! Here, I got you an extra one.

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5z. Pheonix h
=============

I. Let's See

---

I. Let's See
++++++++++++

Ratchet: Hey Al!

Al: Let's see, (nerd talk).

Ratchet: Um, you lost me at 'let's see'.

Clank: He says that we may be able to change Skidd back!

Ratchet: Al, we found this data disk.

Al: (starts decoding disk) oh Ratchet, I was looking through Quark's things,
and I found something interesting.

Ratchet: If it's another crotchetizer don't even go there.

Al: Issue 5 of the Quark vs. Nefarious series. Even my friends at the Quark
cadets fanclub have never seen this issue, and they're REAL geeks. 


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5aa. Quark's Hideout
====================

I. Walking the Wrong Way
II. Attack of the Pheonix

---

I. Walking the Wrong Way
++++++++++++++++++++++++

Quark: Oh! How did you find me here?

Ratchet: We found your secret vid-comic, Quark.

Quark: Oh, that. Listen, when I escaped from that star cruiser missing death by
mere nano-seconds, I thought something. I COULD HAVE DIED! Me!

Ratchet: You're pathetic Quark, I can't believe I once looked up to you. Come
on guys, let's go.

Clank: The Galaxy needs you, Quark. Now is the chance to be the hero you always
wanted to be.

Skrunch: (Monkey sounds) 

II. Attack of the Pheonix
+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sascha: Ratchet, where have you been? Never mind. The Pheonix is under attack
... to 40% ... getting low ... (different tone of voice) Hey hotshot, if I 
don't get to see you again, I just wanted to say ...

Clank: The signal is lost. Engage the Gravimetric Warp Drive!

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5ab. Pheonix i
==============

I. Getting Lucky Tonight

---

I. Getting Lucky Tonight
++++++++++++++++++++++++

Ratchet: Everyone OK?

Helga: You certainly took your sweet time!

Ratchet: It's good to see you too. Any luck with the disk.

Al: Luck, he says.

Sascha: Al cracked the encryption. The biobliterator will travel from planet to
planet, leaving only robots in it's wake. It is programmed to recharge between
each attack. It's currently recharging on planet Koros, and Ratchet, It's first
target, is Veldin.

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5ac. Koros
==========

I. Bigger Gun
II. Don't Mess

---

I. Bigger Gun
+++++++++++++

Ratchet: Whoa! My biggest gun wouldn't even put a dent in that thing!

Clank: Then we will need a bigger gun.

Ratchet: (Sees ion cannon) Yeah, that should do it.

Clank: If you can get me to the control centre, I can take control of that ion
cannon.

II. Don't Mess
++++++++++++++

Nefarious: (On screen) What!!! What are you doing!

Clank: I'd have thought, after all those holo-films, you'd have realised. Never
mess with Secret Agent Clank. (Fires)

(Sascha appears on screen) Well done, boys. There's no telling how many lives
you just saved. But we're not done yet. Al just finished decoding the disk.
Nefarious secretly built a second Biobliterator, more deadly than the first.

Ratchet: We'll have to destroy it, then.

Sascha: Watch out. This time, he know's you're coming.

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5ad. The Command Centre
=======================

I. Too Late

---

I. Too Late
+++++++++++

(Nefarious and Lawrence teleport away) 

Ratchet: We're too late!

(A dropship appears)

Sascha: Hop in!

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5ae. The Launch Site
====================

I. Cancellations
II. Advanced Robotics
III. Bye Bye

---

I. Cancellations
++++++++++++++++

Ratchet glides down and smashes the launch control panel.

Ratchet: You're flight's been cancelled, Nefarious.

Nefarious: LAWRENCE!

Lawrence appears.

Lawrence: How can I be of service!

Nefarious: ANNIHILATE HIM!

Lawrence: Only kidding, you've reached my holographic voice mail. Please your 
name, and a brief message. (disappears)

Nefarious: Fine, I'll do it myself.

II. Advanced Robotics
+++++++++++++++++++++

Ratchet wins the fight.

Nefarious: LLAAWWRREENNCCEE!!!!!!!

Lawrence appears, wearing funny clothes and holding a guitar.

Lawrence: I hope this is quick, it's almost time for my solo.

Nefarious: Begin, the transformation!

The biobliterator grows arms and legs, and starts firing missiles. Suddenly,
Quark appears in his ship.

Nefarious: What! I can't believe this!

Quark: Believe it, tin can!

III. Bye Bye
++++++++++++

Ratchet wins the fight.

Nefarious:(In mini control-centre) Oh, the humiliation! Defeated by squishies!
(accidently presses a button)

Automated message: Auto-destruct sequence re-initiated. 60 seconds until
detonation.

Nefarious: Teleport us out of here, Lawrence.

Lawrence: Would you care to specify a destination?

Nefarious: Who cares? Just get us out of here.

Automated message: Time's up. Bye bye.

Nefarious: What! That wasn't even close to 60 secondddddddssssssss!!!!!!!!

EXPLOSION! 

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5af. The Cinema
===============

I. Clank

---

I. Clank
++++++++

Many characters from the series are in the cinema. The movie starts.

SAC gets past two ninjas, and arrives at a cliff. Max Million arrives in a 
helicopter.

Max: Haah! Now I'll destroy you!

SAC fires the BGAMD.

Max: Hah! Your tricks won't save you this time!

Skrunch appears, jumps onto the helicopter causing it to crash, and jumps off
again.

Clank: Well, I got that monkey off his back!

Cut to cinema. Ratchet and Sascha kiss each other. Skrunch tries to kiss Clank.

Clank: Do not even think about it.

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

5ag. An Asteroid, Outer Space
=============================

I. Bass Odyssey

---

I. Bass Odyssey
+++++++++++++++

Nefarious and Lawrence are on an asteroid.

Nefarious: Teleport us away from here, Lawrence!

Lawrence: I'm afraid we're well out of range, sir.

Nefarious: When will we be in range?

Lawrence: I'm sure somthing will come along in, say, five or ten, thousand 
years.

Nefarious: What now?

Lawrence: I don't suppose you play drums?

Nefarious: Lawrence!!!

-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----/////-----////

6. Credits
==========

Insomniac
Game FAQs
You, for reading it

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Here be the end. Thankyou for reading