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                                             GlassGiant.com 



Grand Theft Auto
Liberty City Stories

Head Radio Script and Song Lyrics v1.00

by Firstelder_D (c) 2008


COPYRIGHT STUFF
---------------------------------------------------------------

This may be not be reproduced under any circumstances except
for personal, private use. It may not be placed on any web site
or otherwise distributed publicly without advance written
permission. Use of this guide on any other web site or as a
part of any public display is strictly prohibited, and a
violation of copyright.

Authourized Sites:

GameFAQs.com


DISCLAIMER
---------------------------------------------------------------

Grand Theft Auto radio stations contain profanity and sexual
euphemisms. You have been warned.


TABLE OF CONTENTS
---------------------------------------------------------------

Notes

Credits

Head Radio script

   Conor & Jay - Train..................................[S0001]
   Commercial - The MainFrame (Movie)...................[C0010]
   Cloud Nineteen - The One For Me......................[S0002]
   Commercial - Vivasection (Board Game)................[C0020]
   Purser - Take The Pain...............................[S0003]
   Commercial - Koala Toilette Paper....................[C0030]
   L. Marie (feat. Raff) - Free Yourself................[S0004]
   15 Ways - Drive......................................[S0005]
   Commercial - C.U.N.T.F.L.A.P.S. Message 1............[C0040]
   Rosco Stow - Welcome to the Real World...............[S0006]
   Commercial - Ammu-Nation.............................[C0050]
   Commercial - C.U.N.T.F.L.A.P.S. Message 2............[C0060]
   Vanilla Smoothie - Keep Dreaming.....................[S0007]

Contact

Thanks


NOTES
---------------------------------------------------------------

All of Mike's outros and some intros are done during the
lyrics, but I have separated them to make it easier to write
for me, and read for you.

Any (?) means I'm not clear on what was said. So any
clarification is welcome.


CREDITS
---------------------------------------------------------------

Writing:                 Dan Houser and Lazlow Jones
DJ Michael Hunt:         Russ Mottla
Imaging Production:      Jeff Berlin
Imaging Voices:          Jeff Berlin and Katelyn Hutchinson


---------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------
HEAD RADIO SCRIPT
---------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------------------
Imaging
---------------------------------------------------------------

Male Imaging Voice
Head Radio

Female Imaging Voice
Head Radio

Male Imaging Voice
Music that our demographic research says will put you in the
mood...

Female Imaging Voice
To buy things

Female Imaging voice
Head Radio

---------------------------------------------------------------
Conor & Jay - Train                                     [S0001]
---------------------------------------------------------------
Written by Craig Conner & Julie Wemyss
Produced by Craig Conner
Guitars by Jon McCavish
Vocals by Julie Wemyss and Craig Conner
---------------------------------------------------------------

DJ Michael Hunt (Intro)
Wax the candle, beat the bishop, your cruise director down
the river sticks is here baby. It's DJ Michael 'Clam Bake'
Hunt. Let's rock and roll baby!

Conor & Jay
I was a fool
Treated you cruel
But that don't make much sense
When I was clearly in love
Still with you
I ran away
You begged me to stay
But there was nothin, nothin, nothin
I wouldn't do
That you asked me to

DJ Michael Hunt
Head Radio!

Conor & Jay
(chorus)
Come on, come on
Lets take this train
We're movin outta here
But we'll soon be back again
Come on, come on
Lets take this train
We're movin outta here
But we'll soon be back again

I couldn't say if it were true
I was opening my mind to something so new
That I had to do
I wouldn't change
What can I do
If this time apart
Would cause this pain of the heart
Take it back again
Your momma don't think much of
What I did to you
Your daddy don't understand
But it's god damn true
Let me tell you now

(chorus)

Come and climb aboard
And change your life
Stopping off at loneliness and life
Your momma don't think much of
What I did to you
Your daddy don't understand
But it's god damn true

(chorus x2)

DJ Michael Hunt
Conor and Jay with Train, on Head Radio.

Conor & Jay
Come and climb aboard
And change your life
Stopping off at loneliness and life

DJ Michael Hunt (Outro)
Remember, Mike loves rock and roll, but he really loves giving
Head... Radio listeners the chance to register to win a free
trip to San Andreas and the Glory Hole theme park. Remember
rockers Head Radio is the official station of the Glory Hole
Theme Park. Go all the way sweepstakes. Letís take a break.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Commercial - The MainFrame (Movie)                      [C0010]
---------------------------------------------------------------

Male Narrator
The event movie of the year, everyone is talking about.

Man
You're just a virus, you're not real.

Mother
I'm your mother stupid.

Male Narrator
A group of people that think the whole world is trapped in a
computer.

Man
We can't get out!

Women
Hurry, stick your hard disk inside my drive!

Man
I can't! My hard disk crashed!

Women
Reboot it!

Male Narrator
The MainFrame. What happens when five college students take
LSD and discover the truth...

Man
Aaaaaaahh! Your face is a big pixel.

Male Narrator
And they have to make the decision of their lives.

Women
What's it gonna be? Yes or No? One or Zero?

Male Narrator
The MainFrame, it's real.

Women
Oh no, the MainFrame

Male Narrator
Coming to theatres this Friday. Rated PS, for Pretty Stupid.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Cloud Nineteen - The One For Me                         [S0002]
---------------------------------------------------------------
Written & Produced by Will Morton
Additional Lyrics by Paul Mackie
Guitars by Allan Walker & Chris Morton
Lead Vocals by Raff
Backing Vocals by Paul Mackie & Raff
---------------------------------------------------------------

DJ Michael Hunt (Intro)
Man, last night I was at a backstage party for the Gurning
Chimps. I met this deaf girl right after Maccer was sick on my
shoes. My sign language is a little sloppy but Mikey knows how
to win the ladies. A little air guitar and a roofie and you're
back in business. Ya, baby, let's get some more music.

Cloud Nineteen
Everyday when I hear you say
I love you
You fill my heart with joy
It's okay I don't wanna stay
Without you
I need you like you never knew
What you mean to me
You're my everything
I will do
What you want me too
Like a worker bee
In a honey tree
I wanna be with you forevermore
I give you my heart
You're what I'm looking for

(chorus)
You're the light of my life
You're my missing link
You're perfection itself
And we're so in sync
So please be mine
I will guarantee
On the dotted line
You're the one for me

Every night when you hold me tight
You set my heart free
It's alright you're a ray of light
That shines out ta me
I wanna be with you forevermore
I give you my heart
You're what I'm looking for

(chorus)

(instrumental break)

(chorus)

DJ Michael Hunt (Outro)
Cloud Nineteen with The One For Me. God, that song brings tears
to my eyes. Trust me, Mike is a man in touch with his emotions
too, thanks to those new psychotropic drugs. I may not
currently be in contact with my kids, but I am in touch with my
emotions.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Imaging
---------------------------------------------------------------

Female Imaging Voice 1
Head Radio. The official home of rock and roll since rock and
roll, officially, sold out.

Female Imaging Voice 2
Head Radio.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Commercial - Vivasection (Board Game)                   [C0020]
---------------------------------------------------------------

Male Narrator
It's the board game that's sweeping the country.

Kids
Vivasection!

Male Narrator
Science is finally fun, with Vivasection. Get your lab coats
kids, because you get to run real experiments, on real live
rats, while playing a fun game for the whole family. Run your
rat through Vermin's Vortex Maze. It's the game that's just
like life: Just when you think you've won, someone blinds you
with industrial solvent. Conduct all kinds of fun experiments.
Including: cosmetic allergy tests, and chemical warfare
preparation.

Kids
Vivasection!

Male Narrator
Because real science, is real fun. Conduct experiments on
friends too.

Boy 1
Aw, your rat bit me.

Boy 2
Ha ha you got the plague.

Male Narrator
Who says scientists are boring dorks who never have any fun?
Disembowel animals, time after time, for money, kicks, and
scientific prestige, with Vivasection.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Purser - Take The Pain                                  [S0003]
---------------------------------------------------------------
Written & Produced by Will Morton, Chris Morton
Additional Lyrics by Paul Mackie
Lead Vocals by Paul Mackie
Additional Vocals by Will Morton
---------------------------------------------------------------

DJ Michael Hunt (Intro)
I love you Liberty City I do, I love you. We built this city,
we built it with this sort of record.

Purser
I want to go
Down to the store
Why can't you see
You're no good to me
Get on the floor
Open the door
You hit the floor
We'll come through the fall(?)

(chorus)
I'm like a psycho ninja
Put some poison in ya (?)
When I'm done with ya
You'll bring my pris-na
I'm like a psycho ninja
Put some poison in ya (?)
When I'm done with ya
You'll be a prisona
Come on feel the pain ((?))
Come on feel the pain ((?))
Come on feel the pain ((?))
Come on take the pain ((?))
Take the pain
Take the pain ((?))

(instrumental break)

Break all the rules
This ain't no school
Diamond and jewels(?)
Running in for fools
(?) on your face
(?) in your place
Up with my pace
On(?) my rascal case (?)

(chorus)

DJ Michael Hunt
Boy if that don't make your pinky stinky. DJ Michael 'Manual
Override' Hunt is going all day and all night baby.

Purser
Come on take the pain
Take the pain
Take the pain

DJ Michael Hunt (Outro)
Liberty City is the greatest town in America. Some say to me
"Mike, that town is the trench with the stench", I say "Hey,
once you go down in this town, you won't wanna to go down
anywhere else". Let's listen to some important messages from
our sponsors. This is Head Radio I'm Michael 'Axe Wound' Hunt.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Imaging
---------------------------------------------------------------

Female Imaging Voice 1
Head Radio, we're better than other stations.

Male Imaging Voice
Because nobody wants the lips.

Female Imaging Voice 1
They want.

Female Imaging Voice 2
Head Radio.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Commercial - Koala Toilette Paper                       [C0030]
---------------------------------------------------------------

Female Narrator
There's nothing more intimate than your choice of toilette
paper, except for maybe your choice of tampon, but, that's
another commercial. The marketing department here at Koala
asked thousands of house wives what their dream toilette tissue
would be they said: Something with pretty colours that matches
my bathroom, ribbed and quilted for pleasure. An expensive
brand that makes me feel superior, even when I'm on the john
and constipated as hell. Something patriotic, that sends
Australia a message, and, no more skid marks. So we decided to
combine these ideas in the new improved Koala. The paper that
stops skid marks dead in their tracks. It's quilted, because we
all dream of wiping our ass on quilts, don't we? It's absorbent
because it has to be. It's expensive, so your poor friends will
feel inferior, and it stops those nasty stains right at their
source. Know what I mean? It's like a soft, fluffy animal you
can wipe your ass with. Koala let the bear deal with your
behind.

---------------------------------------------------------------
L. Marie (feat. Raff) - Free Yourself                   [S0004]
---------------------------------------------------------------
Written & Produced by Craig Conner
Vocals by L-Marie and Raff
Backing Vocals by Craig Conner
---------------------------------------------------------------

DJ Michael Hunt (Intro)
You're on the home of rock and roll, Head Radio, with me
Michael 'Eye of the Storm' Hunt. You know since I moved from
the west coast Mike misses his riding lawnmower, and having a
yard. I miss my mom the most though. God she was hot, almost as
hot as the chicks in the video for this next song.

L. Marie (feat. Raff)
Free yourself
It be good for you ((?))

DJ Michael Hunt
This one's dedicated to Dan from Ruthie, Dan you better call
that fine women.

L. Marie (feat. Raff)
Baby I got a question
Have I (?) to you
Have you got the rhythm
Do you got the moves

Hey girl you can tell (?) (?)
That I got something good
Tell me baby what you got to
Right now baby let's get it started
Show me what I gotta do (What do I gotta do oh)
Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
It be good for you (It be good for you)
Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
It be good for you ((?))

Boy I'm kinda nervous
Tell me is it kinda cool
I guess I didn't tell ya (I didn't I tell you baby)
That I was watchin you

Hey girl you can tell (?) (?)
That I got something good
Tell me baby what you got to
Right now baby let's get it started
Show me what I gotta do (What do I gotta do oh)
Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
It be good for you (It be good for you)
Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
It be good for you ((?))
Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
It be good for you ((?))
Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
It be good for you ((?))

Let's get up on the dance floor yaaaa
Dance like a super rock star baby
Hey when this dance ends can I take you home
I got a big car it's silver and gold
We can ride right to the end of the road
I'm busy tonight but give me a call

Because(?) free yourself (baby baby)
It be good for you ((?))
Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
It be good for you ((?))
Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
It be good for you ((?))
Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
It be good for you ((?))

DJ Michael Hunt (Outro)
Don't miss the Liberty City mall live food court extravaganza
where DJ Michael 'The Love Muscle' Hunt will have battle of
the unsigned bands. Winner receives a gift certificate to Zip,
thatís where Mike gets all his cool threads.

L. Marie (feat. Raff)
Dance.

DJ Michael Hunt
Hey man that's better than the internet. I say that to mom all
the time. When you're drunk and wear a dress anything can
happen.

---------------------------------------------------------------
15 Ways - Drive                                         [S0005]
---------------------------------------------------------------
Written & Produced by Colin Entwistle
Vocals by Paul Mackie
---------------------------------------------------------------

DJ Michael Hunt (Intro)
Michael 'Party Til You're in Paris (?)' Hunt is hitting you
with this next one. These guys can really hit that axe.

15 Ways
Destinyís found these new ways 
To confound all my anger and pain
Why don't you say it again
And the look on your face 
Means to put me in place
Cuz whatever I say
I always get the same reaction
It really drives me to distraction
You drive me to distraction
You drive me to the end of the road
It's so near(?) and so cold
I can see through your stare
That we're going nowhere (we're going nowhere)

Now it's easy to see
You're just playing with me
And your smile is so thin(?)
I have love by copular reaction

It really drives me to distraction
You really drive me to distraction
You drive me to the start of this race
Before I knew this place
Where I try to tell you how
You wasted my heart
And before you could start
I lean over and say
I hope I drive you to distraction
Do I drive you to distraction
I hope I drive you to distraction
Do I drive you to distraction

DJ Michael Hunt (Outro)
Rock and roll baby, not that top 40 pansy crap. Screw you Lips
106 just cuz your ratings are better. 15 Ways and Drive.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Imaging
---------------------------------------------------------------

Female Imaging Voice 1
Head Radio.

Male Imaging Voice
Radio the way it was meant to be.

Female Imaging Voice 1
Radio, the way it was meant to be.

Female Imaging Voice 2
Played off a hard drive.

Male Imaging Voice
And automated at night, so we don't have to pay DJs.

Female Imaging Voice 1
The way it was meant to be.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Commercial - C.U.N.T.F.L.A.P.S. Message 1               [C0040]
---------------------------------------------------------------

Mom
I hate you! Get out!

Dad
Oh ya? Then let me tell our son I'm movin out. Ryan! What the
hell is this?

Ryan
It's a vase.

Dad
That's a bong! (stern) Where did you learn how to make this?

Ryan
(crying) I learned it on the internet.

Male Narrator
Broken families begin in one place. The internet. Don't get
into a traffic accident on the information super highway. Keep
your family together; keep off the internet. This message
brought to you by: Citizens United Negating Technology For Life
And Peoples Safety.

DJ Michael Hunt
What the hell is the internet anyway? I mean, a lot of
computers linked up so you can look at pictures of chicks in
the buff. What's wrong with a good old fashioned telescope or a
shoe mirror? Try sneakin a computer into the bathroom at work.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Rosco Stow - Welcome to the Real World                  [S0006]
---------------------------------------------------------------
Written & Produced by Craig Conner
Guitars Written, Produced and Performed by Allan Walker
Lead Vocals by Andy Dorrat
Backing Vocals by Craig Conner, Anna Stuart and Kim Gurney
---------------------------------------------------------------

DJ Michael Hunt (Intro)
This is Rosco Stow, Welcome to the Real World.

Rosco Stow
I'm so sick of the way
That you get so down harder today
They're sayin Hollywood in the May(?)
But you're dressed like a film star
When you turned eighteen
Did you have a dream

(chorus)
Welcome to the real world
Now there's nothin left for you
Everybody's store you bought 
So what is there left to do
Come for me
Come for me
Come for me

Take out the trash
And have five more minutes to think
Think about who who who can you be
You were never destined for fame
But you still love the camera
When you turned thirty
Did you have a dream

(chorus)

(instrumental break)

(chorus)

DJ Michael Hunt (Outro)
People call the Head Radio line and say "Mike, which team do
you like, the cocks or the beavers?" I like'em both baby! I'm
an all action kinda guy.

Rosco Stow
What is there left to do

DJ Michael Hunt
We're gonna take a break, don't touch that dial.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Commercial - Ammu-Nation                                [C0050]
---------------------------------------------------------------

Male Narrator
To fat and lazy to come pick up a bazooka? Log on and have it
at your door the next morning. Log on to AmmuNation.net, try
our motion sensitive cluster bombs and shoot-to-maim automated-
firing gun turrets. Which come ready to assemble in 284 easy
parts. AmmuNation.net also has a full line of generators so you
can keep your fridge running and the beer cold through extended
apocalypse. Need to stock up fast? The strongest will survive
with our all-in-one Y2K kit. Featuring: A tractor trailer load
of Logger Beer, Redwood Cigarettes, and enough fire power and
ammunition to level a small country. Jesus fuck! Y2K It's
coming and you'd better be ready. Log on to AmmuNation.net now.
Protecting your rights, online.

DJ Michael Hunt
Keep it locked on Head people.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Commercial - C.U.N.T.F.L.A.P.S. Message 2               [C0060]
---------------------------------------------------------------

Women
Tommy! Who is that naked man in your room?

Tommy
That's Jack. He's my new friend I met on the internet.

Male Narrator
The internet may appear like the future, but it's really a
cyber-optic predators playground. Nine out of ten children who
get on the internet are prayed upon by perverts, sickos, and
society at large. This message brought to you by Citizens
United Negating Technology For Life And Peoples Safety.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Imaging
---------------------------------------------------------------

Female Imaging Voice
Head Radio

Male Imaging Voice
Head Radio. It's a one way relationship.

Female Imaging Voice
Okay.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Vanilla Smoothie - Keep Dreaming                        [S0007]
---------------------------------------------------------------
Written & Produced by Alastair MacGregor
Guitars by Allan Walker
Vocals by Fiona Stoddart
---------------------------------------------------------------

DJ Michael Hunt (Intro)
Hey this is your Vinyl Casanova; the man who's gonna rock you
for three and half minutes at a time. Here's Vanilla Smoothie.

Vanilla Smoothie
Oh no what's this
Staring back at me
I'm blinded by the silence
That just wouldn't go outside
Why you keeping me in this house of glass
To see when I'm gonna crack (to see when I'm gonna crack)
Well I think that you might be the straw
That breaks my back

(chorus)
Yet I keep dreamin
I keep dreaming everything's
Gonna be alright
Yet I keep dreamin
I keep dreaming everything's
Gonna be alright

We're gonna get right through this yet
One day we'll see the funny side 
(one day we'll see the funny side)
Nothing's ever gonna be the same
But at least we've learned
We shouldn't have to try 
(shouldn't ever have to try so hard)
You said you'd always love me
If it was nothin
You'd always stay with me
If you want to go
Then you gotta go
But let me know
Is this all about your pride

(chorus)

Still I keep dreamin
I keep dreaming everything's
Gonna be alright
Still I keep dreamin
I keep dreaming everything's
Gonna be alright
Yet I keep dreamin
I keep dreaming everything's
Gonna be alright

DJ Michael Hunt
Hey, it's time to crown the king and cuff the carrot. Let's
grab the unicorn by the horn and keep this rock rolling.

---------------------------------------------------------------
END OF SCRIPT
---------------------------------------------------------------

Song credits are from IMDb.com
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0465482/soundtrack

Other credits are from MobyGames.com
http://www.mobygames.com/game/ps2/grand-theft-auto-liberty-city
-stories/credits


---------------------------------------------------------------
CONTACT
---------------------------------------------------------------

firstelder_d A-T yahoo D-O-T com

Constructive criticism, comments, and corrections welcome. 
Insults and negative comments about the Head Radio script's 
innuendos are not.


---------------------------------------------------------------
THANKS
---------------------------------------------------------------

Rockstar: 
For making these great games

Dan Houser and Lazlow Jones: 
For writing the GTA radio station scripts