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    Head Radio Script by firstelder_d

    Version: 1.00 | Updated: 03/02/08 | Printable Version | Search This Guide

    
    
                                                                
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                                                 GlassGiant.com 
    
    
    
    Grand Theft Auto
    Liberty City Stories
    
    Head Radio Script and Song Lyrics v1.00
    
    by Firstelder_D (c) 2008
    
    
    COPYRIGHT STUFF
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    This may be not be reproduced under any circumstances except
    for personal, private use. It may not be placed on any web site
    or otherwise distributed publicly without advance written
    permission. Use of this guide on any other web site or as a
    part of any public display is strictly prohibited, and a
    violation of copyright.
    
    Authourized Sites:
    
    GameFAQs.com
    
    
    DISCLAIMER
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Grand Theft Auto radio stations contain profanity and sexual
    euphemisms. You have been warned.
    
    
    TABLE OF CONTENTS
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Notes
    
    Credits
    
    Head Radio script
    
       Conor & Jay - Train..................................[S0001]
       Commercial - The MainFrame (Movie)...................[C0010]
       Cloud Nineteen - The One For Me......................[S0002]
       Commercial - Vivasection (Board Game)................[C0020]
       Purser - Take The Pain...............................[S0003]
       Commercial - Koala Toilette Paper....................[C0030]
       L. Marie (feat. Raff) - Free Yourself................[S0004]
       15 Ways - Drive......................................[S0005]
       Commercial - C.U.N.T.F.L.A.P.S. Message 1............[C0040]
       Rosco Stow - Welcome to the Real World...............[S0006]
       Commercial - Ammu-Nation.............................[C0050]
       Commercial - C.U.N.T.F.L.A.P.S. Message 2............[C0060]
       Vanilla Smoothie - Keep Dreaming.....................[S0007]
    
    Contact
    
    Thanks
    
    
    NOTES
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    All of Mike's outros and some intros are done during the
    lyrics, but I have separated them to make it easier to write
    for me, and read for you.
    
    Any (?) means I'm not clear on what was said. So any
    clarification is welcome.
    
    
    CREDITS
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Writing:                 Dan Houser and Lazlow Jones
    DJ Michael Hunt:         Russ Mottla
    Imaging Production:      Jeff Berlin
    Imaging Voices:          Jeff Berlin and Katelyn Hutchinson
    
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    HEAD RADIO SCRIPT
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Imaging
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Male Imaging Voice
    Head Radio
    
    Female Imaging Voice
    Head Radio
    
    Male Imaging Voice
    Music that our demographic research says will put you in the
    mood...
    
    Female Imaging Voice
    To buy things
    
    Female Imaging voice
    Head Radio
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Conor & Jay - Train                                     [S0001]
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Written by Craig Conner & Julie Wemyss
    Produced by Craig Conner
    Guitars by Jon McCavish
    Vocals by Julie Wemyss and Craig Conner
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    DJ Michael Hunt (Intro)
    Wax the candle, beat the bishop, your cruise director down
    the river sticks is here baby. It's DJ Michael 'Clam Bake'
    Hunt. Let's rock and roll baby!
    
    Conor & Jay
    I was a fool
    Treated you cruel
    But that don't make much sense
    When I was clearly in love
    Still with you
    I ran away
    You begged me to stay
    But there was nothin, nothin, nothin
    I wouldn't do
    That you asked me to
    
    DJ Michael Hunt
    Head Radio!
    
    Conor & Jay
    (chorus)
    Come on, come on
    Lets take this train
    We're movin outta here
    But we'll soon be back again
    Come on, come on
    Lets take this train
    We're movin outta here
    But we'll soon be back again
    
    I couldn't say if it were true
    I was opening my mind to something so new
    That I had to do
    I wouldn't change
    What can I do
    If this time apart
    Would cause this pain of the heart
    Take it back again
    Your momma don't think much of
    What I did to you
    Your daddy don't understand
    But it's god damn true
    Let me tell you now
    
    (chorus)
    
    Come and climb aboard
    And change your life
    Stopping off at loneliness and life
    Your momma don't think much of
    What I did to you
    Your daddy don't understand
    But it's god damn true
    
    (chorus x2)
    
    DJ Michael Hunt
    Conor and Jay with Train, on Head Radio.
    
    Conor & Jay
    Come and climb aboard
    And change your life
    Stopping off at loneliness and life
    
    DJ Michael Hunt (Outro)
    Remember, Mike loves rock and roll, but he really loves giving
    Head... Radio listeners the chance to register to win a free
    trip to San Andreas and the Glory Hole theme park. Remember
    rockers Head Radio is the official station of the Glory Hole
    Theme Park. Go all the way sweepstakes. Letís take a break.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Commercial - The MainFrame (Movie)                      [C0010]
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Male Narrator
    The event movie of the year, everyone is talking about.
    
    Man
    You're just a virus, you're not real.
    
    Mother
    I'm your mother stupid.
    
    Male Narrator
    A group of people that think the whole world is trapped in a
    computer.
    
    Man
    We can't get out!
    
    Women
    Hurry, stick your hard disk inside my drive!
    
    Man
    I can't! My hard disk crashed!
    
    Women
    Reboot it!
    
    Male Narrator
    The MainFrame. What happens when five college students take
    LSD and discover the truth...
    
    Man
    Aaaaaaahh! Your face is a big pixel.
    
    Male Narrator
    And they have to make the decision of their lives.
    
    Women
    What's it gonna be? Yes or No? One or Zero?
    
    Male Narrator
    The MainFrame, it's real.
    
    Women
    Oh no, the MainFrame
    
    Male Narrator
    Coming to theatres this Friday. Rated PS, for Pretty Stupid.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Cloud Nineteen - The One For Me                         [S0002]
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Written & Produced by Will Morton
    Additional Lyrics by Paul Mackie
    Guitars by Allan Walker & Chris Morton
    Lead Vocals by Raff
    Backing Vocals by Paul Mackie & Raff
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    DJ Michael Hunt (Intro)
    Man, last night I was at a backstage party for the Gurning
    Chimps. I met this deaf girl right after Maccer was sick on my
    shoes. My sign language is a little sloppy but Mikey knows how
    to win the ladies. A little air guitar and a roofie and you're
    back in business. Ya, baby, let's get some more music.
    
    Cloud Nineteen
    Everyday when I hear you say
    I love you
    You fill my heart with joy
    It's okay I don't wanna stay
    Without you
    I need you like you never knew
    What you mean to me
    You're my everything
    I will do
    What you want me too
    Like a worker bee
    In a honey tree
    I wanna be with you forevermore
    I give you my heart
    You're what I'm looking for
    
    (chorus)
    You're the light of my life
    You're my missing link
    You're perfection itself
    And we're so in sync
    So please be mine
    I will guarantee
    On the dotted line
    You're the one for me
    
    Every night when you hold me tight
    You set my heart free
    It's alright you're a ray of light
    That shines out ta me
    I wanna be with you forevermore
    I give you my heart
    You're what I'm looking for
    
    (chorus)
    
    (instrumental break)
    
    (chorus)
    
    DJ Michael Hunt (Outro)
    Cloud Nineteen with The One For Me. God, that song brings tears
    to my eyes. Trust me, Mike is a man in touch with his emotions
    too, thanks to those new psychotropic drugs. I may not
    currently be in contact with my kids, but I am in touch with my
    emotions.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Imaging
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Female Imaging Voice 1
    Head Radio. The official home of rock and roll since rock and
    roll, officially, sold out.
    
    Female Imaging Voice 2
    Head Radio.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Commercial - Vivasection (Board Game)                   [C0020]
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Male Narrator
    It's the board game that's sweeping the country.
    
    Kids
    Vivasection!
    
    Male Narrator
    Science is finally fun, with Vivasection. Get your lab coats
    kids, because you get to run real experiments, on real live
    rats, while playing a fun game for the whole family. Run your
    rat through Vermin's Vortex Maze. It's the game that's just
    like life: Just when you think you've won, someone blinds you
    with industrial solvent. Conduct all kinds of fun experiments.
    Including: cosmetic allergy tests, and chemical warfare
    preparation.
    
    Kids
    Vivasection!
    
    Male Narrator
    Because real science, is real fun. Conduct experiments on
    friends too.
    
    Boy 1
    Aw, your rat bit me.
    
    Boy 2
    Ha ha you got the plague.
    
    Male Narrator
    Who says scientists are boring dorks who never have any fun?
    Disembowel animals, time after time, for money, kicks, and
    scientific prestige, with Vivasection.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Purser - Take The Pain                                  [S0003]
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Written & Produced by Will Morton, Chris Morton
    Additional Lyrics by Paul Mackie
    Lead Vocals by Paul Mackie
    Additional Vocals by Will Morton
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    DJ Michael Hunt (Intro)
    I love you Liberty City I do, I love you. We built this city,
    we built it with this sort of record.
    
    Purser
    I want to go
    Down to the store
    Why can't you see
    You're no good to me
    Get on the floor
    Open the door
    You hit the floor
    We'll come through the fall(?)
    
    (chorus)
    I'm like a psycho ninja
    Put some poison in ya (?)
    When I'm done with ya
    You'll bring my pris-na
    I'm like a psycho ninja
    Put some poison in ya (?)
    When I'm done with ya
    You'll be a prisona
    Come on feel the pain ((?))
    Come on feel the pain ((?))
    Come on feel the pain ((?))
    Come on take the pain ((?))
    Take the pain
    Take the pain ((?))
    
    (instrumental break)
    
    Break all the rules
    This ain't no school
    Diamond and jewels(?)
    Running in for fools
    (?) on your face
    (?) in your place
    Up with my pace
    On(?) my rascal case (?)
    
    (chorus)
    
    DJ Michael Hunt
    Boy if that don't make your pinky stinky. DJ Michael 'Manual
    Override' Hunt is going all day and all night baby.
    
    Purser
    Come on take the pain
    Take the pain
    Take the pain
    
    DJ Michael Hunt (Outro)
    Liberty City is the greatest town in America. Some say to me
    "Mike, that town is the trench with the stench", I say "Hey,
    once you go down in this town, you won't wanna to go down
    anywhere else". Let's listen to some important messages from
    our sponsors. This is Head Radio I'm Michael 'Axe Wound' Hunt.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Imaging
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Female Imaging Voice 1
    Head Radio, we're better than other stations.
    
    Male Imaging Voice
    Because nobody wants the lips.
    
    Female Imaging Voice 1
    They want.
    
    Female Imaging Voice 2
    Head Radio.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Commercial - Koala Toilette Paper                       [C0030]
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Female Narrator
    There's nothing more intimate than your choice of toilette
    paper, except for maybe your choice of tampon, but, that's
    another commercial. The marketing department here at Koala
    asked thousands of house wives what their dream toilette tissue
    would be they said: Something with pretty colours that matches
    my bathroom, ribbed and quilted for pleasure. An expensive
    brand that makes me feel superior, even when I'm on the john
    and constipated as hell. Something patriotic, that sends
    Australia a message, and, no more skid marks. So we decided to
    combine these ideas in the new improved Koala. The paper that
    stops skid marks dead in their tracks. It's quilted, because we
    all dream of wiping our ass on quilts, don't we? It's absorbent
    because it has to be. It's expensive, so your poor friends will
    feel inferior, and it stops those nasty stains right at their
    source. Know what I mean? It's like a soft, fluffy animal you
    can wipe your ass with. Koala let the bear deal with your
    behind.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    L. Marie (feat. Raff) - Free Yourself                   [S0004]
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Written & Produced by Craig Conner
    Vocals by L-Marie and Raff
    Backing Vocals by Craig Conner
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    DJ Michael Hunt (Intro)
    You're on the home of rock and roll, Head Radio, with me
    Michael 'Eye of the Storm' Hunt. You know since I moved from
    the west coast Mike misses his riding lawnmower, and having a
    yard. I miss my mom the most though. God she was hot, almost as
    hot as the chicks in the video for this next song.
    
    L. Marie (feat. Raff)
    Free yourself
    It be good for you ((?))
    
    DJ Michael Hunt
    This one's dedicated to Dan from Ruthie, Dan you better call
    that fine women.
    
    L. Marie (feat. Raff)
    Baby I got a question
    Have I (?) to you
    Have you got the rhythm
    Do you got the moves
    
    Hey girl you can tell (?) (?)
    That I got something good
    Tell me baby what you got to
    Right now baby let's get it started
    Show me what I gotta do (What do I gotta do oh)
    Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
    It be good for you (It be good for you)
    Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
    It be good for you ((?))
    
    Boy I'm kinda nervous
    Tell me is it kinda cool
    I guess I didn't tell ya (I didn't I tell you baby)
    That I was watchin you
    
    Hey girl you can tell (?) (?)
    That I got something good
    Tell me baby what you got to
    Right now baby let's get it started
    Show me what I gotta do (What do I gotta do oh)
    Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
    It be good for you (It be good for you)
    Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
    It be good for you ((?))
    Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
    It be good for you ((?))
    Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
    It be good for you ((?))
    
    Let's get up on the dance floor yaaaa
    Dance like a super rock star baby
    Hey when this dance ends can I take you home
    I got a big car it's silver and gold
    We can ride right to the end of the road
    I'm busy tonight but give me a call
    
    Because(?) free yourself (baby baby)
    It be good for you ((?))
    Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
    It be good for you ((?))
    Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
    It be good for you ((?))
    Dance and free yourself (baby baby)
    It be good for you ((?))
    
    DJ Michael Hunt (Outro)
    Don't miss the Liberty City mall live food court extravaganza
    where DJ Michael 'The Love Muscle' Hunt will have battle of
    the unsigned bands. Winner receives a gift certificate to Zip,
    thatís where Mike gets all his cool threads.
    
    L. Marie (feat. Raff)
    Dance.
    
    DJ Michael Hunt
    Hey man that's better than the internet. I say that to mom all
    the time. When you're drunk and wear a dress anything can
    happen.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    15 Ways - Drive                                         [S0005]
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Written & Produced by Colin Entwistle
    Vocals by Paul Mackie
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    DJ Michael Hunt (Intro)
    Michael 'Party Til You're in Paris (?)' Hunt is hitting you
    with this next one. These guys can really hit that axe.
    
    15 Ways
    Destinyís found these new ways 
    To confound all my anger and pain
    Why don't you say it again
    And the look on your face 
    Means to put me in place
    Cuz whatever I say
    I always get the same reaction
    It really drives me to distraction
    You drive me to distraction
    You drive me to the end of the road
    It's so near(?) and so cold
    I can see through your stare
    That we're going nowhere (we're going nowhere)
    
    Now it's easy to see
    You're just playing with me
    And your smile is so thin(?)
    I have love by copular reaction
    
    It really drives me to distraction
    You really drive me to distraction
    You drive me to the start of this race
    Before I knew this place
    Where I try to tell you how
    You wasted my heart
    And before you could start
    I lean over and say
    I hope I drive you to distraction
    Do I drive you to distraction
    I hope I drive you to distraction
    Do I drive you to distraction
    
    DJ Michael Hunt (Outro)
    Rock and roll baby, not that top 40 pansy crap. Screw you Lips
    106 just cuz your ratings are better. 15 Ways and Drive.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Imaging
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Female Imaging Voice 1
    Head Radio.
    
    Male Imaging Voice
    Radio the way it was meant to be.
    
    Female Imaging Voice 1
    Radio, the way it was meant to be.
    
    Female Imaging Voice 2
    Played off a hard drive.
    
    Male Imaging Voice
    And automated at night, so we don't have to pay DJs.
    
    Female Imaging Voice 1
    The way it was meant to be.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Commercial - C.U.N.T.F.L.A.P.S. Message 1               [C0040]
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Mom
    I hate you! Get out!
    
    Dad
    Oh ya? Then let me tell our son I'm movin out. Ryan! What the
    hell is this?
    
    Ryan
    It's a vase.
    
    Dad
    That's a bong! (stern) Where did you learn how to make this?
    
    Ryan
    (crying) I learned it on the internet.
    
    Male Narrator
    Broken families begin in one place. The internet. Don't get
    into a traffic accident on the information super highway. Keep
    your family together; keep off the internet. This message
    brought to you by: Citizens United Negating Technology For Life
    And Peoples Safety.
    
    DJ Michael Hunt
    What the hell is the internet anyway? I mean, a lot of
    computers linked up so you can look at pictures of chicks in
    the buff. What's wrong with a good old fashioned telescope or a
    shoe mirror? Try sneakin a computer into the bathroom at work.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Rosco Stow - Welcome to the Real World                  [S0006]
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Written & Produced by Craig Conner
    Guitars Written, Produced and Performed by Allan Walker
    Lead Vocals by Andy Dorrat
    Backing Vocals by Craig Conner, Anna Stuart and Kim Gurney
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    DJ Michael Hunt (Intro)
    This is Rosco Stow, Welcome to the Real World.
    
    Rosco Stow
    I'm so sick of the way
    That you get so down harder today
    They're sayin Hollywood in the May(?)
    But you're dressed like a film star
    When you turned eighteen
    Did you have a dream
    
    (chorus)
    Welcome to the real world
    Now there's nothin left for you
    Everybody's store you bought 
    So what is there left to do
    Come for me
    Come for me
    Come for me
    
    Take out the trash
    And have five more minutes to think
    Think about who who who can you be
    You were never destined for fame
    But you still love the camera
    When you turned thirty
    Did you have a dream
    
    (chorus)
    
    (instrumental break)
    
    (chorus)
    
    DJ Michael Hunt (Outro)
    People call the Head Radio line and say "Mike, which team do
    you like, the cocks or the beavers?" I like'em both baby! I'm
    an all action kinda guy.
    
    Rosco Stow
    What is there left to do
    
    DJ Michael Hunt
    We're gonna take a break, don't touch that dial.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Commercial - Ammu-Nation                                [C0050]
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Male Narrator
    To fat and lazy to come pick up a bazooka? Log on and have it
    at your door the next morning. Log on to AmmuNation.net, try
    our motion sensitive cluster bombs and shoot-to-maim automated-
    firing gun turrets. Which come ready to assemble in 284 easy
    parts. AmmuNation.net also has a full line of generators so you
    can keep your fridge running and the beer cold through extended
    apocalypse. Need to stock up fast? The strongest will survive
    with our all-in-one Y2K kit. Featuring: A tractor trailer load
    of Logger Beer, Redwood Cigarettes, and enough fire power and
    ammunition to level a small country. Jesus fuck! Y2K It's
    coming and you'd better be ready. Log on to AmmuNation.net now.
    Protecting your rights, online.
    
    DJ Michael Hunt
    Keep it locked on Head people.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Commercial - C.U.N.T.F.L.A.P.S. Message 2               [C0060]
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Women
    Tommy! Who is that naked man in your room?
    
    Tommy
    That's Jack. He's my new friend I met on the internet.
    
    Male Narrator
    The internet may appear like the future, but it's really a
    cyber-optic predators playground. Nine out of ten children who
    get on the internet are prayed upon by perverts, sickos, and
    society at large. This message brought to you by Citizens
    United Negating Technology For Life And Peoples Safety.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Imaging
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Female Imaging Voice
    Head Radio
    
    Male Imaging Voice
    Head Radio. It's a one way relationship.
    
    Female Imaging Voice
    Okay.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Vanilla Smoothie - Keep Dreaming                        [S0007]
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Written & Produced by Alastair MacGregor
    Guitars by Allan Walker
    Vocals by Fiona Stoddart
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    DJ Michael Hunt (Intro)
    Hey this is your Vinyl Casanova; the man who's gonna rock you
    for three and half minutes at a time. Here's Vanilla Smoothie.
    
    Vanilla Smoothie
    Oh no what's this
    Staring back at me
    I'm blinded by the silence
    That just wouldn't go outside
    Why you keeping me in this house of glass
    To see when I'm gonna crack (to see when I'm gonna crack)
    Well I think that you might be the straw
    That breaks my back
    
    (chorus)
    Yet I keep dreamin
    I keep dreaming everything's
    Gonna be alright
    Yet I keep dreamin
    I keep dreaming everything's
    Gonna be alright
    
    We're gonna get right through this yet
    One day we'll see the funny side 
    (one day we'll see the funny side)
    Nothing's ever gonna be the same
    But at least we've learned
    We shouldn't have to try 
    (shouldn't ever have to try so hard)
    You said you'd always love me
    If it was nothin
    You'd always stay with me
    If you want to go
    Then you gotta go
    But let me know
    Is this all about your pride
    
    (chorus)
    
    Still I keep dreamin
    I keep dreaming everything's
    Gonna be alright
    Still I keep dreamin
    I keep dreaming everything's
    Gonna be alright
    Yet I keep dreamin
    I keep dreaming everything's
    Gonna be alright
    
    DJ Michael Hunt
    Hey, it's time to crown the king and cuff the carrot. Let's
    grab the unicorn by the horn and keep this rock rolling.
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    END OF SCRIPT
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Song credits are from IMDb.com
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0465482/soundtrack
    
    Other credits are from MobyGames.com
    http://www.mobygames.com/game/ps2/grand-theft-auto-liberty-city
    -stories/credits
    
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    CONTACT
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    firstelder_d A-T yahoo D-O-T com
    
    Constructive criticism, comments, and corrections welcome. 
    Insults and negative comments about the Head Radio script's 
    innuendos are not.
    
    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    THANKS
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Rockstar: 
    For making these great games
    
    Dan Houser and Lazlow Jones: 
    For writing the GTA radio station scripts