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    Emotion 98.3 Script by Forelli_Boy

    Version: One.3 | Updated: 03/30/07 | Printable Version | Search This Guide

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    Checking the margins again, blah blah blah.
    
    Forelli_Boy presents:
    The Guide to Emotion 98.3!
    
    Were you expecting some distracting ASCII art?
    Let's just get to the good stuff already! :3
    
    But first, a word from our sponsor, the virtual attorney.
    
    +            +
      Disclaimer
    +            +
    
    This is the script and lyrics to Emotion 98.3, as played in Grand Theft Auto:
    Vice City Stories. Words considered explicit have been dashed out, as they are
    in much lower concentration than my Flash FM guide.
    
    Grand Theft Auto, Emotion 98.3 and so on are registered trademarks of Rockstar
    Games, and their use here is solely for information and entertainment purposes.
    This guide may not be reproduced IN ANY PORTION OR FORM WHATSOEVER, on any other
    website or publication apart from GameFAQs, NeoSeeker, HonestGamers and Super
    Cheats without the author's EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION. Such permission can only
    be attained by contacting the author at the E-mail address mentioned in the
    E-Mail Policy Section.
    
    I will also NOT provide free links to these songs as you can easily get them for
    free on P2P. Though if you really like an artist you'll do the right-right thing
    and use cash to get it.
    
    ==================================================0o0=
    
    "I used to hate myself for what happened. Now, I merely hate myself. That's
         progress. I've worked my way through three whole words." - Lionel Makepeace
    
    I've been feeling really lonely as of late. Really. Maybe it's because as an
    80's man that was born after the indulgent part of the decade (i.e. during the
    Ollie North scandal) I've felt alienated by a society that's starting to become
    all militant-lovey. That's not right. Or maybe because I was picked on in school
    a lot and when I tried to fight back, they blamed it on me. But spare me the
    pity, this guide is about the music for which you can hold your own pity parties
    for one.
    
    Like true love, or the ideal orgasm, most of these artists didn't last long, but
    those who survived became legends in their own right. So it's great to know that
    there's someone that shared your situation, before you move on or put yourself
    out of your own misery or worse, turn emo.
    
    This was Emotion 98.3. Enjoy the sounds of true despair. D:
    
            - Forelli_Boy, author of the GTA Radio Guide Series.
    
    ==================================================0o0=
    
    +==========+
    | Contents |
    +==========+
    
    See a section that you like? Just type in the four-letter string corresponding
    to the song or commercial you want into your browser's search function, and
    press the Find button to discover or re-discover that pleasure you missed!
    
    Segments beginning with C are Commercials, segments with F are Fernando's.
    
    I.   Version Information						[VEIN]
    II.  Guide to the Guide							[G2TG]
    
    III. The Script & Lyrics                                                [TSLY]
        01. Motels - "Only The Lonely"*                                     [MOOL]
        02. 10cc - "I'm Not In Love"*                                       [10NL]
            C1. Mallet to a Maibatsu II                                     [M2AM]
    
        03. Quarterflash - "Harden My Heart"*                               [QHMH]
            F1. Doggy-Style Pet Store                                       [FMA1]
    
        04. Toto - "Make Believe"                                           [TTMB]
        05. Elkie Brooks - "Fool If You Think It's Over"*                   [EBFO]
            C2. Robard's Import/Export                                      [ROIE]
    
        06. The Passions - "I'm In Love With A German Film Star"*           [PGFS]
            F2. Cinder Beast Tattoos                                        [FMA2]
    
        07. Foreigner - "I Want To Know What Love Is"*                      [FKWL]
        08. Assembly - "Never, Never"*                                      [ASNN]
            C3. Angel and the Knight                                        [ANKN]
    
        09. Pat Benatar - "We Belong"*
            F3. Fernando's New Beginnings                                   [FMA3]
    
        10. The Pretenders - "Private Life"                                 [PRPL]
        11. Phil Collins - "In The Air Tonight"*                            [PCAT]
        12. Roxy Music - "Avalon"                                           [RMAV]
            C4. Redwood Junior                                              [RWJR]
    
        13. Eddie Money - "Baby Hold On"                                    [EMBH]
        14. Rainbow - "Stone Cold"*                                         [RASC]
            F4. Mall Massage                                                [FMA4]
    
        15. Giuffria - "Call To The Heart"*                                 [GICH]
            C5. Evacuator Playset                                           [EVPL]
    
        16. Art of Noise - "Moments In Love"                                [ANML]
        17. Dan Hartman - "I Can Dream About You"                           [DHDY]
    
        *(Lyrics transcribed entirely or almost entirely by me. :) I did check some
          sites though, just to get one or two lines per song that I didn't
          understand the first time around.)
    
    IV. Email Policy                                                        [EMAP]
    V.  Special Thanks To                                                   [SPTT]
    
    ==================================================0o0=
    
    +========================+
    | I. Version Information | [VEIN]
    +========================+
    One - 06 Jan 2006 - The First Release! Happy New Year!
    One.1 - 08 Jan 2006 - Corrected several typos in PBWB and ANKN.
                          Edited trivia regarding TTMB.
    One.2 - 30 Jan 2006 - Guide now available on HonestGamers.
                          Corrected "Private Life."
                          Corrected script before "I Could Dream About You."
                          Filled in some missing "In The Air Tonight" lyrics.
    One.3 - 30 Mar 2006 - I (i.e. not me, someone else) solved the great
                          Redwood Junior mystery. See below.
    
    +========================+
    | II. Guide to the Guide | [G2TG]
    +========================+
    
    Spoken lines are
    FORMATTED: Like This,
    
    While lines sung in commercials by different people are
    (Formatted)
    like this!
    
    However, parentheses are also used in lyrics to
    denote that someone else's lyrics (are being sung) as part of the same verse.
    
    Actions during radio and commercialsare also
    (bordered in parentheses), but don't have anything starting directly underneath.
    
    Actions by the radio station that interrupt the song are
    ((bordered with double parentheses.)) On the contrary, (Begin Music)
    marks the points where the following song begins during gaps in the dialogue.
    
    You'll also see a divider such as this:
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    which technically marks the end of a song's lyrics or commercial's script.
    This is not to confusedly mix in too much dialogue with the part of the song
    you will not hear in-game anyway.
    
    ((RD)) in particular stands for "Resume Dialogue," marking the point
    where the DJs or other voices take over.
    
    [Trivia and commentary are provided in single brackets.]
    
    +==========================+
    | III. The Script & Lyrics | [TSLY]
    +==========================+
    
    [Here we goooooooo!]
    
    IMAGING: You and Emotion 98.3, together...(ominous whisper) FOREVER....
    
    (Begin Music)
                                +----------------------------------+
    LIONEL: This... is Emotion. | [The] Motels - "Only the Lonely" | [MOOL]
                                +----------------------------------+
    
    [This song from their 1982 album All Four One made it up to #9 on the Billboard
     Hot 100. The band would also release another top 10 single, "Suddenly Last
     Summer" off their album Little Robbers the following year. Tension that had
     already started to build up between band members and their manager as they
     launched Little Robbers would lead to the band's dissolution in February 1987.]
    
    We walked...the loneliest mile,
    We smile...without any style,
    We kiss altogether on, no intention....
    We lie about each other's strengths,
    We live without each other thinking what anyone would do, 
    Without me and you...
    
    It's like I told you,
    Only the lonely can play,
    
    So hold on, here we go,
    Hold on, to nothin' we know,
    I feel so lonely... way up here...
    You mention the time we were together, so long ago,
    Well I don't remember, all I know is it makes me feel good now....
    
    It's like I told you,
    Only the lonely can play,
    Only the lonely, only the lonely can play...
    
    (Instrumental)
    
    Only the lonely, only the lonely can play,
    It's like I told you, Only the lonely can play,
    Only the lonely, only the lonely...can play...((RD))
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    L: Lionel Makepeace here on Emotion, imagining a better world. A world where men
       and women understand each other perfectly. Where the only reason to quarrel
       is to make up, and where broken hearts can always be mended...even mine.
    
      (Begin Music)
    
               +--------------------------+
       This is | 10cc - "I'm Not In Love" | [10NL]
               +--------------------------+
    
    [This song from 1975 was what lured Mercury Records to sign 10cc for a then
     whopping US$1,000,000. It also hit #1 in the UK. The track itself was the
     result of excessive sampling and overdubbing, resulting in the "choir" of the
     band members you hear in the background, for starters. The "big boys don't cry"
     line was spoken by Kathy Warren, the receptionist of UK Records, whom 10cc was
     working for at the time.
    
     The single would receive a Top 10 cover by Will to Power in 1991, and a #1
     Dance Music/Club remix by Olive in 2000. 10cc as you knew them from this song
     would split up in 1976, though several reunions have met with limited success.]
    
     Big boys don't cry. I know I don't. Not right now, anyway.]
    
    I'm not in love, so don't forget it,
    It's just a silly phase I'm going through,
    And just because, I call you up,
    Don't get me wrong, don't think you got it made,
    I'm not in love, no no,
    It's because...
    
    I like to see you, but then again,
    That doesn't mean you mean that much to me,
    So if I call you, don't make a fuss,
    Don't tell your friends about the two of us,
    I'm not in love, no no,
    It's because...
    
    (Instrumental)
    
    Be quiet, big boys don't cry,
    
    Big boys don't cry, (repeat 7x to voice fade)
    
    I keep your picture, up on the wall,
    It hides a nasty stain, just lyin' there,
    So don't you ask me, to give it back,
    I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me...
    I'm not in love, no no,
    It's because...
    
    Ooh, you wait a long time for me,
    Ooh, you wait a long time...
    Ooh, you wait a long time for me, ((RD))
    Ooh, you wait a long time...
    
    I'm not in love, so don't forget it,
    It's just a silly phase I'm going through,
    And just because, I call you up,
    Don't get me wrong, don't think you got it made,
    I'm not in love, no no,
    It's because...
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    L: Love makes the world go 'round, it really does. Nudie pictures do too. My
       cousin's a physicist, and he says it's centrifugal gravitational pull, but he
       sleeps with prostitutes. I did once, but we fell in love, until she broke my
       heart. I'm in a confessional mood. Tell that someone you love them. Tell
       them, "I love them." Ask them to "love me." Let's take a break. Stay
       emotional, stay hormonal.
    
    I: The soundtrack for break-ups, therapy, or, just quietly weeping in a corner.
       Emotion 98.3.
    
    +                         +
      Mallet to a Maibatsu II   [M2AM]
    +                         +
    [Whod've thought back then that the Honda Accord would go on to make 21 of
     25 Car & Driver 10Best Lists, and the Toyota Camry would someday become Motor
     Trend's Car of the Year, while the only thing we would remember the Big Three
     for in a positive way are the token muscle cars they use as excuses for
     patriotic tirades to distract us from their (insert expletive adjective here
     build quality for the rest of their cars? Who'd have thought that those
     scrappy-yet-adorable little imports would become the youth's cars of choice, or
     that several of the more famous models are now being built in the more
     fanatically patriotic parts of America?
    
     I did. ): Or rather, I would've if I were alive and conscious in '84...
    
     Version I and further commentary on both Mallet to a Maibatsu commercials can
     be found in my guide to Flash FM.]
    
    (Patriotic music)
    
    WORKER: My name is uh...Sam Hall. I worked at American Motors for 22 years. Now,
            (sobs) I'm a jobless divorcée.
    
    TEENAGER: My daddy's name is David Adams. He got laid off from American Motors.
              Then he got drunk and killed mommy!
    
    ANNOUNCER: Staying free is about more than going into record debt, making
               weapons that could liquidize the world, or financing the overthrow of
               Central American countries. It's about the little things you can do
               everyday to help. But these days there's a new menace.
    
    (music turns ominous)
    
    JAP: (Japanese strings play during speech) Hello, lazy Americans! Your American
         cars are terrible! Soon, all Americans buy Japanese cars, ha ha ha! You on
         food stamps now!
    
    (return to patriotic music)
    
    A: This month, celebrate American diplomacy, and take a Mallet to a Maibatsu.
       Stay free, buy American goods. Brought to you by the Buy American Coalition.
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    (Begin Music) [Mmmmm. Saxophone riff.]
    
    L: This is Emotion. You ready to harden something? Try your heart.
    
    +----------------------------------+
    | Quarterflash - "Harden My Heart" | [QHMH]
    +----------------------------------+
    [Putting the hit in Quarterflash's one-hit(-album) wonder, from their self
     titled debut album in 1980. "Harden My Heart" reached #3 on the Hot 100 and
     topped the Mainstream Rock charts. Their subsequent albums, released in 1983
     and 1985, did not nearly achieve as much success and the band broke up after
     being dropped from their record label.]
    
    Cryin' on the corner, waitin' in the rain,
    I swear I'll never ever wait again,
    You gave me your word, words for you are lies,
    Darlin' in my wildest dreams, I never thought I'd go...oh...
    But it's time to let you know, oh,
    
    (Chorus)
    I'm gonna harden my heart,
    I'm gonna swallow my tears,
    I'm gonna turn and leave you here...
    
    All of my life I've been waiting in the rain,
    I've been waiting for a feeling, that never ever came,
    It feels so close, but always disappears...
    Darlin' in your wildest dreams, you never had it good...
    But it's time you got the news,
    
    (Chorus)
    
    (Instrumental)
    
    Darlin' in my wildest dreams, I never thought I'd go...oh...
    But it's time to let you know, oh,
    
    (Chorus)
    
    I'm gonna harden my heart,
    I'm gonna swallow my tears,
    I'm gonna harden my heart,
    I'm gonna swallow my tears,
    
    Harden my heart...
    I'm gonna swallow my tears... ((RD))
    No, oh, oh, oh, harden my heart...
    
    I'm gonna harden my heart,
    I'm gonna swallow my tears,
    (Repeat to fade)
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    L: Let's all reach into our pockets where we keep it...whip it out, hold it in
       our hand, and look at it in disgust. I'm talking about the Emotion Frequent
       Crier Card. Get it punched at any family planning clinic or AmmuNation. Guns
       and crying, they go together.
       
       Right now, to prove how much our sales team thinks of keeping our listeners,
       here's Fernando at Doggy-Style Pets.
    
    +         -o0o-         +
      Doggy-Style Pet Store   [FMA1]
    +         -o0o-         +
    [NOTE: It's not censored because it's the name of the place. Go figure.]
    
    (sound of animals in background)
    
    FERNANDO: Thanks Lionel, joo really are sounding like the estrogen is taking
              over! I, am Fernando Martinez. Right now, I broadcast live from 
              Doggy-Style Pet Store. When I get emotional, I get a puppy, Lionel.
              And when I feel better I say, "Fernando, joo don't need a puppy
              anymore. Joo need a woman, with big hips, that bear the child that
              will someday rise up against joo, and FIGHT joo to the death." So I
              throw the puppy away, and take the wench by the hair.
    
    L: Fernando, what the hell are you talking about?
    
    F: I am talking about the jungle, Lionel, about being the king of the jungle,
       like a kitten that is half-off when you stop at the Doggy-Style Pet Store,
       Downtown. Maybe joo need to move some y--o. A puppy is perfect. Or maybe joo
       are slow, like your mom was exposed to DDT, and joo like a pet turtle. They
       have lots of turtles here! Fernando...likes guinea pigs. But I date an
       Italian girl, and she no' like it. And plus, they don' taste like real pig.
       My mouth is all furry. Is' like the '60s all over again. The women, they are
       so hairy. They don' believe in shaving! Come see us here, Fernando will find
       you something to cuddle with. "I guarantee it."™ Let's play a powerful track.
    
    L: (frustrated) That is MY line.
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    (Begin Music)
    
    L: Ready to "Make Believe?" It's Toto.
    
    PHIL COLLINS: Hi, it's Phil Collins here, and when I'm in Vice City and want to
                  listen to some power ballads about crying alone in a wind tunnel,
                  I listen to Emotion.
    
    +-----------------------+
    | Toto - "Make Believe" | [TTMB]
    +-----------------------+
    [Hot off Toto's six-Grammy-winning album TOTO IV comes this #30 single. The same
     album would also spawn the #1 hit "Africa," which Fernando would play during
     his tenure as Emotion 98.3. Unlike most of the bands featured on this station,
     Toto would get through worse - such as the death of a band member in 1992 - to
     continued success, including another Grammy nomination in 1999, and they are
     still performing today.
    
     This song makes Toto one of two artists - minus collabs as in the case of
     Giorgio Moroder - to appear in three GTA games, on more than one radio
     station. "Africa" could be heard on Emotion in the original Vice City, and
     their 1978 single "Hold the Line" on K-DST in San Andreas.
    
     The other artist, of course, is Rick James (b---h), who has done the same, but
     appearing on three different radio stations with "Ghetto Life," (VC, Fever 105)
     "Cold Blooded," (SA, Master Sounds) and "Mary Jane." (VCS, VCFL)
    
    (Chorus)
    Why don't we make believe we're in love again,
    Who said the crimson moon doesn't shine,
    Where do people go when they're looking for that one of a kind,
    Why don't we make believe that we're sorry,
    Why must we hurry all inside,
    Where do lovers go when they're runnin' and there's no place to hide...
    
    (Always remember) the day we met in the pouring rain,
    (You were content and) we went our separate ways,
    No matter which way thw wind blows now, hang on to it anyhow,
    Don't ever say it could never be the same...
    
    (Chorus)
    
    (Always remember...) holding hands on a summer day,
    (You were content and...) you took it all away,
    I didn't come here to change your mind, 
    Lead you on and waste your time,
    All alone in the evening, gettin' day!
    
    (Instrumental)
    Why don't we make believe...
    
    (Chorus) ((RD))
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    I: Songs of empowerment...and trying to forget your drunk uncle's breath in
       your face.
    
    UNCLE: (burp) Com'ere, little cutie!
    
    I: Emotion is your station.
    
    L: Lionel Makepeace taking you through the morning, all night, with the only
       music that stirs a fire in your soul. You see, you want a woman who is a- a
       tiger. One that you lay eyes on her, and wow, you finish in your pants. Women
       only wanna be with the strongest. Show you're number one, and sing her this.
    
    +----------------------------------------------+
    | Elkie Brooks - "Fool If You Think It's Over" | [EBFO]
    +----------------------------------------------+
    [This 1981 single off her album Pearls spent 10 weeks on the UK charts, peaking
     at #17. The British blues singer would go on to achieve her greatest success in
     1987 with her seemingly-aptly-named hit "No More The Fool" and continues to be
     a popular live performing artist to this day. The Guardian also recently
     labeled her "still one of the great British voices."]
    
    A dying flame, you're free again,
    Who could love...do that to you?
    All dressed in black, he won't be coming back,
    Save your tears, got years and years...
    
    The pains of seventeens,
    Unreal, they're only dreams,
    Save your cryin' for the day...
    
    (Chorus Pt 1)
    Fool if you think it's over,
    'Cause she said goodbye,
    Fool if you think it's over,
    Tell you why...
    
    (Chorus Pt 2)
    Newborn eyes always cry with pain,
    at the first look at the morning sun...
    Fool if you think it's over,
    It's just begun...
    
    This teenage dream, such a tragic scene,
    He knocked your crown, and ran away,
    First wound of pride, and how you cry and cry,
    But save your tears, got years and years...
    
    (Chorus Pts 1 and 2)
    
    (Instrumental) [More saxophone riff!]
    Fool if you think it's over...
    
    I'll buy your first good wine...
    We'll have ((RD)) a real good time, 
    Save your cryin' for the day...
    
    It may not come, but anyone,
    Who had to pay, will laugh at you and say...
    
    (Chorus Pt 1)
    
    I'll buy your first good wine,
    We'll have a real good time,
    Fool if you think it's over,
    I'll tell you why...
    
    (Chorus Pt 2)
    
    Fool if you think it's over...
    
    (Music fade)
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    L: I cry every time I hear that song, I cry, and I laugh, and I hold myself
       tight, and remember the first time...I was 13, in a jacuzzi. It was, kind of
       embarrassing, but I don't think anyone noticed. Let's take a quick break.
    
    +------------------------+
    | Robard's Import/Export | [ROIE]
    +------------------------+
    [Remember this guy from VCPR? At least he learned to downsize his endeavors to
     something he could chew, and be more subtle with the references. I had a
     girlfriend that loved to "Motivate, Demonstrate, and Motivate Again," but
     even though I'm officially past her...I still can't forget. God, I'm lonely.]
    
    How long has it been since you've gone at top speed in a powerboat, with two
    blondes in bikinis? Well that's too long. Hi, I'm Jeremy Robard with some
    important information about masculinity...and you.
    
    In today's times with women working in the office and men wearing pastels,
    pinks, and eye shadow, it's vital you reaffirm your masculinity, at every
    opportunity. Are you wasting away in an office, going bald and entertaining
    yourself by dropping pencils, so your fat secretary bends over? You could be in
    the money, living an adventure.
    
    Take on the hottest, most prestigious profession of today: International Trade.
    
    It's a man's occupation. It's a career! And it's an opportunity, all at once.
    All you have to do is lease one of our high-speed boats. No money down, no
    credit check, and you'll be hauling glamorous international cargo in no time.
    And you don't have to go very far, only about six miles off-shore to collect our
    special cargo, and bring it back.
    
    It's as easy as 1-2-3, all at high speed. Like a MAN! Hey, if you love the
    ocean, partying, and genuine capitalism, the import/export business is for you.
    
    If you're ready to step into the future of masculinity, come see me, Jeremy
    Robard, at Robard's Import/Export in Viceport.
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    (Begin Music)
    
    L: You're listening to Emotion. I'm your sentimental sensation, Lionel
       Makepeace, broadcasting from Studio H. Keeping you karmically in touchwith
       yourself. Keeping you in touch with your feelings. Keeping you in touch with
       your therapist.
     
       Speaking of therapy, I have still not gotten over Sheryl, man I lovethat
       woman. We had something really beautiful. It's a shame she left me for my
       anemic stepbrother, but everyone is their own journey, following their
       own star path. And that's something really beautiful. Spiritual journeys,
       and stars.
    
       May your paths cross with someone special, and hopefully, they'll have great
       hair.
    
    +------------------------------------------------------+
    | The Passions - "I'm In Love With A German Film Star" | [PGFS]
    +------------------------------------------------------+
    [This single, released in 1981, made #25 on the UK charts. This was the
     Passions' one-hit wonder, as they would disband in 1983. A number of bands
     would cover the song for years to come - including the Foo Fighters.]
    
    I'm in love with a German film star,
    I once saw in a bar,
    Sitting in a corner and in perfect clothes,
    Trying not too pose,
    For the cameras and the girls,
    It's a glamourous world...
    
    I'm in love with a German film star,
    I once saw in a movie,
    Playing the part of a real troublemaker but I didn't care,
    It really moved me,
    It really moved me...
    
    (Instrumental)
    
    I'm in love with a German film star,
    I once saw in a bar,
    Sitting in a corner and in perfect clothes,
    Trying not to pose
    For the cameras and the girls,
    It's a glamourous world...
    
    I'm in love with a German film star,
    I once saw in a movie,
    Playing the part of a real troublemaker but I didn't care,
    It really moved me,
    It really moved me,
    It really moved me,
    It really moved me, ((RD))
    
    I'm in love... (Repeat 13x)
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    L: That was more powerful than any chemical that could course through your
       veins...a mark on your soul. And speaking of souls, our very own Fernando is
       broadcasting live at Cinder Beast Tattoo at Vice Point. Fernando?
    
    +         -o0o-        +
      Cinder Beast Tattoos   [FMA2]
    +         -o0o-        +
    
    F: That's right Lionel, I am here at Cinder Beast Tattoos. There are things that
       last forever, like a paper degree, or the time you play on the railroad
       tracks with your slow brother, and he doesn't get out of the way in time, and
       joo realize this is, how joo say, a metaphor for the first sexual experience!
       You like roses? Or barbed wire? Or maybe joo love someone so much, joo want
       their name on your a--, for all eternity. Or you want a tattoo of a mermaid,
       AND a gorilla? Or a man, slaying a dragon with his p---s.
    
       These guys take good care of you! They use clean needles, they change them
       every week. They train for a BERY long time, like, three days. And some of
       them have been in the joint so joo KNOW they have experience. For skulls on
       fire, or Egyptian symbols of fertility, come to Cinder Beast Tattoos. This IS
       Fernando Martinez, for Emotion. Written on the heart, tattooed on the loins.
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    L: I love that guy. He's like a spiritual force. Let's get emotional...let's
       take some roofies...here's some more heart-wrenching power ballads.
    
    (Begin Music)
    
    JACK HOWITZER: Hi, this is Jack Howitzer. I wanna know what love is, and I want
                   you to show me. Or I'll slit your throat.
    
    +-----------------------------------------+
    | Foreigner - "I Wanna Know What Love Is" | [FKWL]
    +-----------------------------------------+
    [Number 476 on Rolling Stones' 500 Greatest Songs of All Time and arguably the
     most famous song on the entire soundtrack of Vice City Stories, this song from
     their 1984 album Agent Provocateur hit number 1 in the United States, the
     United Kingdom, AND Australia. The backing vocals were provided by the New
     Jersey Mass Choir.
    
     "Waiting for a Girl Like You," off their 1981 album 4 (as in, the album is
     literally numbered 4) and played on Fernando's Emotion as well as the Midway
     game RoadKill, would hold the odd distinction of spending a record ten weeks at
     number 2 without ever reaching number 1.]
    
    I've gotta take a little time,
    A little time to think things over...
    I'd better read between the lines,
    In case I'll need it when I'm over...
    
    Now this mountain I must climb,
    Feels like the world upon my shoulder...
    Through the clouds I see love shine,
    It keeps me warm as life grows colder,
    
    In my life, there's been heartache and pain,
    I don't know, if I can face it again,
    Can't stop now, I've traveled so far,
    To change this lonely life...
    
    I wanna know what love is,
    I want you to show me!
    I wanna feel what love is,
    I know you can show me...
    
    I'm gonna take a little time,
    A little time to look around me...
    I've got nowhere left to hide,
    It looks like love has finally found me...
    
    In my life, there's been heartache and pain,
    I don't know, if I can face it again,
    Can't stop now, I've traveled so far,
    To change this lonely life...
    
    I wanna know what love is,
    I want you to show me!
    I wanna feel what love is,
    I know you can show me...
    (Repeat to Fade) ((RD))
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    L: Foreigner, "I Wanna Know What Love Is." It's not just power ballads, but it
       is all...heart, here on Emotion.
    
    I: If you cry best, when you've got the top down, and you're driving toward the
       sunset...(car driving by)...Emotion is your station.
    
    +-------------------------------+
    | The Assembly - "Never, Never" | [ASNN]
    +-------------------------------+
    [The band was created by former Yazoo member Vince Clarke in 1983, and this was
     their one-hit wonder single along with the instrumental "Stop/Start", topping
     the charts in the UK. The guitar was sampled note-for-note on a synthesizer,
     continuing the new wave influence into heart-wrenching songs like these. Clarke
     went on to form the band Erasure in 1985.]
    
    I know just what to say,
    It's just a game I play,
    Now I'm here on my own,
    I'd like to be with you, I guess you always knew,
    Still I'm all alone,
    I know the story, but it all worked out,
    
    It never happens to me,
    It never happens to me, (It's the way my life was meant to be,)
    It never happens to me,
    It never happens to me, (Love's just a door that's locked and there's no key,)
    It never happens to me,
    
    I know my every line,
    It's just a waste of time,
    Guess it's all such a shame.
    I've seen it all before, and everytime I'm sure,
    That it ends up the same...
    I know the story, but it all worked out.
    
    Never happens to me,
    It never happens to me, (It's the way my life was meant to be,)
    It never happens to me,
    It never happens to me, (Love's just a door that's locked and there's no key,)
    It never happens to me,
    
    I know just what to say,
    It's just a game I play,
    Now I'm here on my own,
    I'd like to be with you, I guess you always knew,
    Still I'm left all alone,
    I know the story, ((RD)) but it all worked out...
    
    It never happens to me,
    It never happens to me, (It's the way my life was meant to be,)
    It never happens to me,
    It never happens to me, (Love's just a door that's locked and there's no key,)
    It never happens to me...
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    L: The heart is the most mysterious organ of all...part from maybe the spleen or
       the appendix, but I'm digressing. I'm...dreaming. I'm imagining someone
       special. A power ballad and an open-top car, and a dream... a dream of
       dreams. Keep it locked on the heart, the appendix, and the spleen.
       This...is Emotion.
    
    I: If you want music that's so powerful, you'll laugh through the tears...and
       cry behind the laughter...then Emotion is your Station. Emotion...
    
    +                      + 
      Angel and the Knight   [ANKN]
    +                      +
    [I don't recall people using expletives that heavy on commercials for shows like
     these, even if they would have been bleeped out. On a humorous side note, try
     imagining Sasuke as Angel and Sakura as Knight. Eat that, Naruto.]
    
    ANNOUNCER: Criss Van Angel is a flyboy hot-dog helicopter pilot, who flew
               missions in 'Nam and can't get enough of the ladies.
    
    ANGEL: I'm kind of a sassy p---k.
    
    A: Bonnie Knight is a recovering alcoholic ninja, who will sleep her way to the
       truth.
    
    KNIGHT: Who do I have to b--w in this place to get some information?
    
    A: When they're not fighting their personal demons, they're fighting crime.
       They're private detectives. They are Angel and the Knight. Tuesday nights at
       7, don't miss Angel and the Knight. They live together on a speedboat, and
       have a special helicopter that goes underwater.
    
    (sound of car accelerating)
    
    DRUG LORD: Now joo are going to die, Bonnie Knight, you drunken ninja slut!
               (machine-gun fire) No one can rescue you now!
    
    KNIGHT: We have a special helicopter that goes underwater! You guys are F---ED!
    
    A: Hot-air balloon chases, fistfights- (someone gets punched)
    
    ANGEL: Don't make me unzip my pants.
    
    A: ...and country music car chases. Plus, exploding boats. (boat "explodes")
       Tuesday nights at 7, don't miss Angel and the Knight.
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    I: When you get older, your heart...dies. So here are some power ballads to
       carry you through. Emotion 98.3, is your station.
    
    +----------------------------+
    | Pat Benatar - "We Belong"  | [PBWB]
    +----------------------------+
    [This single, along with 1983's "Love Is A Battlefield," makes Benatar one of
     several artists to have songs on two different radio stations in VCS. "We
     Belong" matched "Battlefield's" performance on the Hot 100 by reaching #5, but
     only ended up two notches short of Battlefield's chart-topping stretch on the
     Mainstream Rock chart. We Belong also earned Benatar a Grammy Nomination for
     Best Female Rock Vocal performance while the latter earned her the Grammy
     itself.
    
     For those who've watched Talladega Nights, this song should conjure up images
     of Sacha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell in NASCAR driver jumpsuits running in
     slow-motion across a finish line and...I won't spoil the rest of the movie
     for you. n.=.n]
    
    (We belong, We belong to the light...)
    
    Many times I tried to tell you,
    Many times I cried alone,
    Always I'm surprised how well you cut my feelings to the bone,
    Don't wanna leave you reeling, I've invested too much time,
    To give you up that easy, to the doubts that complicate your mind,
    
    (Chorus)
    We belong to the light, we belong to the father,
    We belong to the sound of the words, before falling under,
    Whatever we deny or embrace, for worse or for better,
    We belong, we belong, we belong together...
    
    Maybe it's a sign of weakness,
    When I don't know what to say,
    Maybe I just wouldn't know what to do with my strength anyway,
    If we become a habit, do we distort the facts,
    Now there's no looking forward, now there's no looking back, when you say...
    
    (Chorus)
    
    Close and your eyes and try to sleep now,
    Close your eyes and try to dream,
    Play your mind and do your best to try to wash the palette clean,
    We can't began to know it, how much we really care,
    I hear your voice inside me, I see your face everywhere, still you say...
    
    (Chorus repeat to fade) ((RD))
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    L: Pat Benatar, "We Belong." Fantastic. You're on Emotion, getting into the
       heart with me, Lionel Makepeace. Let's check in now with our romantic
       reporter, Fernando Martinez. Fernando, (fade in strip club music) Fernando-
       wh-where are you?
    
    +           -o0o-           +
      Fernando's New Beginnings   [FMA3]
    +           -o0o-           +
    
    F: Hello Lionel, this is...Fernando Martinez.
    
    L: We know that already.
    
    F: Yes, I AM Fernando Martinez. I am bringing people together. Just minutes ago,
       I brought Bob, a bored married accountant, and a father of three, together
       with Nightshade - a WONDERFUL lady. As we speak, they are discovering
       "passion," at a discount rate.
    
    L: Fernando, you're an animal.
    
    F: I AM an animal, Lionel. A leopard, who cannot change his spots. A tiger, a
       DRAGON, a horny bull, scratching his back on the barbed wire, looking out for
       the farmer's wife. I broadcast live, Lionel, I AM Fernando Martinez, and I am
       LIVE...with Emotion.
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    I: Power ballads, montages, divorce...standing on the brink of existence, again.
       Emotion is your station.
    
    (Begin Music)
    
                             +---------------------------------+
    L: Let's keep it mellow. | The Pretenders - "Private Life" | [PRPL]
                             +---------------------------------+
    
    ["Private Life" comes off of this band's self-titled debut album from 1980. The
     Pretenders album topped the UK charts but only made it to #9 in the US, and is
     best known for the UK #1 and US Top 20 single "Brass In Pocket." The album
     itself would go on to be one of VH1's best albums of all time, and #155 on
     Rolling Stone's 500 greatest albums.]
    
    Your private life, drama baby leave me out... (3x)
    
    J'ai les glands with your theatrics, your acting's a drag...
    It's ok on TV 'cause you can turn it off, but don't try me,
    Yes your marriage is a tragedy but it's not my concern
    I'm very superficial, I hate anything official
    
    (Chorus)
    Your private life, drama baby leave me out...
    (You've been lying to someone and now me, stop) (All verse 3x)
    
    Your sentimental gestures only bore me to death...
    You've made a desperate appeal now save your breath...
    Attachment to obligation through guilt and regret s--t that's so wet,
    And your sex life complications are not my fascinations...
    
    (Chorus)
    
    (Instrumental) ((RD))
    
    You asked me for advice I said use the door,
    But you're still clinging to somebody you deplore,
    And now you wanna use me for emotional blackmail,
    I just feel pity when you lie, contempt when you cry...
    
    (Chorus)
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    L: Let's take it just a little deeper...into the music...into ourselves.
    
    +-------------------------------------+
    | Phil Collins - "In The Air Tonight" | [PCAT]
    +-------------------------------------+
    [Phil Collins' first solo single from his 1981 album Face Value made #19 on the
     Billboard 100 but it would not be until its TV-show debut that its fame would
     skyrocket. The Miami Vice influence on Vice City comes full circle with the
     inclusion of its most famous song, as played in the episode "Brother's Keeper."
     The video was the 21st ever played on MTV's launch. Two other Phil Collins
     hits: "Easy Lover" and Genesis single "Turn It On Again," are played on Flash
     FM.
    
     The song would be included, parodied, or otherwise used in numerous TV shows
     and movies, including a cover by Nonpoint for the 2006 Miami Vice movie.
    
     As for the urban legend...
    
     "...remember that song...about that guy who could've saved that other guy from
      drowning, but didn't, then Phil saw it all and at a show he found him? That's
      kinda how this is, you coulda saved me from drowning, now it's too late, I'm
      on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy..." - Eminem, "Stan"]
    
    I can feel it comin' in the air tonight, oh lord...
    And I've been waiting for this moment, for all my life, oh lord...
    Can you feel it comin' in the air tonight, oh lord...oh lord...
    
    Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand,
    I've seen your face before my friend, but I don't know if you know who I am,
    Well I was there and I saw what you did, I saw it with my own two eyes,
    So you can wipe off that grin, I know where you been,
    It's all been a pack of lies...
    
    And I can feel it comin' in the air tonight, oh lord...
    Well I've been waiting for this moment, all my life, oh Lord...
    I can feel it comin' in the air tonight, oh lord...
    And I've been waitin' for this moment, all my life, oh Lord...oh Lord....
    
    Well I remember, I remember don't worry...
    How could I ever forget, it's the first time...the last time we ever met...
    But I know the reason why you keep your silence up...knowing you fully...
    But the hurt doesn't show, but the pain still grows,
    No stranger to you and me!
    
    (super drum riff! >:O)
    
    And I can feel it comin' in the air tonight, oh lord...
    Well I've been waiting for this moment, all my life, oh Lord...
    I can feel it in the air tonight, oh lord...oh lord...
    And I've been waitin' for this moment, all my life, oh Lord...
    
    I can feel it comin' in the air tonight, oh lord...
    And I've been waiting for this moment, all my life, oh Lord...
    I can feel it in the air tonight, oh lord...oh lord...
    And I've been waitin' for this moment, all my life, oh Lord...
    
    (Repeat to fade)
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    I: If a great song...makes you want to DIE!...you belong on Emotion...98.3.
    
    L: Now for something with a little style, to keep you thinking about that
       special someone. (Begin Music)
    
          +-----------------------+
       ...| Roxy Music - "Avalon" | [RMAV]
          +-----------------------+
    
    ["Avalon" was the title track of Roxy Music's last album before their breakup,
     released in 1982. Another, more prominent track from the Avalon album - "More
     Than This," garnered more acclaim and was featured on Fernando's Emotion.
     Interestingly, the band reunited in 2001 and are now creating material for an
     album to be released later this year.]
    
    Now the party's over, I'm so tired,
    Then I see you coming, out of nowhere,
    Much communication, in a motion,
    Without conversation, or a notion,
    
    Avalon...
    
    When the samba takes you, out of nowhere,
    And the background's fading, out of focus,
    Yes the picture's changing, every moment,
    And your destination, you don't know it,
    
    Avalon...
    
    (Instrumental)
    
    Dancin', dancin'...
    Dancin', dancin'...
    
    When you bossa nova, there's no holding
    Would you have me dancing, out of nowhere
    
    Avalon...
    
    Avalon... (repeat to fade)
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    L: So many things in nature look like reproductive organs. Especially roast
       beef, or...trees. And you can see the beauty of nature when you listen to
       this station, and close your eyes, or, or stand on a cliff and reach your
       arms up into the heavens and the camera does a circle around you looking
       really esoteric, moody, and...impenetrable. C'mon. Get into the Emotion of
       life. Let's take a quick break.
    
    [Word Alert: "Esoteric" means that one needs to have a special interest in that
                 particular field of interest to really understand it.]
    
    +                +
      Redwood Junior    [RWJR]
    +                +
    [Joe Camel, anyone? Today, it seems those same companies that got you on the
     habit are now sponsoring programs to try to get you off the habit. Are
     corporations finally getting a conscience or is it just all one big marketing
     ploy? You decide. And that question wasn't rhetorical. Really.]
    
    DAD: My kid's a chip off the old block.
    
    BOBBY: I like shaving, can I shave, mom?
    
    MOM: Aww, Bobby wants to be just like his dad!
    
    B: Mom, can I use deodorant? Please? Mom, can I scratch my b---s?
    
    [Superkudos to Allan Mills for solving this mystery. It is nice!]
    
    M: Not yet, Bob-cat! But there IS something you can do right away - SMOKE!
      (sung) Redwood Junior!
    
    B: Yeah!
    
    D: I knew he wasn't ready for the full pleasure of a Redwood cigarette.
    
    M: That's why Redwood Junior CANDY cigarettes are your best bet. Plus,
    
    D: He feels like a MAN.
    
    M: And he'll get so fat he'll WANT to smoke!
    
    B: Cool! I love smoking!
    
    D: And you know what's even better? Redwood Junior contains real Redwood Rewards
       Scheme points! That means while Bobby is picking up a habit of a lifetime,
       he's also helping me get great prizes. Now, my dream of the Redwood Multi-Gym
       may finally become a reality!
    
    M: (sung) Redwood Junior!
    
        Redwood Junior tastes the best,
        Candy cigarettes are a test,
        Teach him to smoke as soon as you can,
        How 'bout a Redwood Junior, little man!
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    (Begin Music)
    
    L: This is Emotion. The home of the heart. Let's make our spirits soar...I'm an
       eagle, she's a goddess.
    
            +------------------------------+
       It's | Eddie Money - "Baby Hold On" | [EMBH]
            +------------------------------+
    ["Baby Hold On" was a single off Eddie Money's self-titled debut album from
     1977. The song reached #11 on the Billboard Hot 100, well above "Two Tickets to
     Paradise," the other single from that album. The latter was also featured on
     the soundtrack of K-DST in San Andreas.]
    
    Baby hold on to me,
    Whatever will be will be,
    The future is ours to see,
    So baby hold on to me,
    
    Baby, what's these things you've been saying about me, behind my back,
    Is it true that you might want a better life,
    Is is true you think these things are a lie...
    Think about it baby, I'm gonna take you to the top,
    
    (Chorus)
    So Baby hold on to me,
    Whatever will be will be,
    The future is ours to see,
    When you hold on to me,
    
    Baby, you know the future's looking brighter, every mornin' when I get up,
    Don't be thinking 'bout what's not enough now, baby,
    Just be thinkin' 'bout what we got,
    Think of all my love now, I'm gonna give you all I got...
    
    (Chorus)
    
    Oh-oh, rich man and poor man,
    Really don't mean all that much
    Mama's always told you, girl,
    That money can't buy you love...
    
    (Chorus 2x)
    
    Uh, hold on,
    Uh, hold on to me tighter now,
    I'm never gonna leave you now,
    I'm never gonna let you go,
    So hold on to me tighter....
    
    (Chorus repeat to fade) ((RD after 1x))
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    L: Sometimes I think my life is one long training montage. I'm going to win, we
       can all finish first. This...is a land of hope.
    
    I: A station that's as moody and melodramatic as you are, you weepy
       b---h! Emotion.
    
    L: Therapy really works. I used to hate myself for what happened. Now, I merely
       hate myself. That's progress. I've worked my way through three whole words. I
       wish I was in a rainstorm, reading a letter, and a song was on the
       radio...
    
    +------------------------+
    | Rainbow - "Stone Cold" | [RASC]
    +------------------------+
    ["Stone Cold" comes off the 1981 album Straight Between The Eyes, by a Rainbow
     that had fired Ronnie James Dio a few years before. Rainbow's years up to its
     temporary yet lengthy split in 1984 saw many more shifts in the lineup as the
     band's musical direction headed toward pop metal. The only original member
     remaining at the time they finally disbanded in 1997 was lead guitarist Richard
     Blackmore.]
    
    Every night I have the same ol' dream,
    'Bout you and me and what's in between...
    So many changes, so many lies...
    Try to run, try to hide,
    From ever'thing I feel inside, but I can't escape you,
    Or your frozen eyes...
    
    Searching in the darkness, fading inside,
    Love was here and gone, like a thief, in the night!
    
    (Chorus)
    Stone cold! I thought I knew you so well,
    Stone cold! Can't break away from your spell,
    
    Another dark and empty night,
    If I'm alone I want to make it right
    But you are so distant, so far away...
    Your words like ice grow along the ground,
    Breakin' the silence without a sound,
    Familiar strangers with nothing to say...
    
    Searching in the darkness, fading inside,
    Love was here and gone, like a thief, in the night!
    
    (Chorus)
    
    You leave me stone cold!
    
    (Instrumental) ((RD))
    
    Searching in the darkness, fading inside,
    Love was here and gone, like a thief, in the night!
    
    (Chorus repeat to fade, verse below mix at 3x)
    
    You put me in the deep freeze,
    Baby don't you leave me,
    Stone cold, you need me babe...
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    L: Let's see what's up with our roving reporter Fernando Martinez, out there in
       the field, discovering love firsthand. Fernando, where are you?
    
    +     -o0o-    +
      Mall Massage   [FMA4]
    +     -o0o-    +
    
    (oriental music and women giggling in background)
    
    F: In the massage parlor, Lionel. Is' fantastic. Boy, I mean these girls REALLY
       know how to relax you! Baby!
    
    L: Fernando, this is a family show.
    
    F: Where do you think babies come from Lionel? Not from therapy, buddy, or the
       stork, but from the power and the "passion" of a load of baby oil, and a
       woman to relax you. You see, we waste so much of our love when you make an
       abstract painting on her face, or a map of the Falkland Islands on your
       stomach, on a lonely night. But this is BUSINESS class, baby! This is 1984.
       It is beautiful, "passion" CAN be released. Boy, do I know that. All the
       ethnicities: Asians, the Swedes, the little Mexican girl. It is beautiful.
       Really, incredible! Hey baby, I think I'm getting a li'l stress' again! Come
       here! (fade out)
    
    L: Uh, that was our roving reporter Fernando Martinez. (chuckle) What a joker,
       just broadcasting from a mall, and pretending to be getting an erotic
       massage. As if. (Fade in Music) I mean, I think we all know love comes...from
       the heart, and passion is a spiritual connection between two beautiful
       people, not a cheap h---job in a seedy massage parlor. I never have, I never
       will. I'd rather dream of someone special. Let's take it from the top.
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    +--------------------------------+
    | Giuffria - "Call to the Heart" | [GICH]
    +--------------------------------+
    [Giuffia, named after their lead keyboardist, were a real flash-in-the-pan band
     whose one-hit wonder was this #26 song off their self-titled 1984 album. A
     sequel album released in 1986 did not attain nearly as much success, and the
     band was soon dissolved with barely a whimper.
    
     Not known to most others is that Giuffria also made a little ditty called
     "Sweet Victory," which ended up as the theme song for an episode of Spongebob
     Squarepants. Sadly, the full 3:48 version of THAT song can only be found by
     BUYING it from www.apmmusic.com. ):< ]
    
    Can I ever live without you girl,
    Put back on my feet again,
    Now I'm lost in your world,
    And there's no simple way to let you go,
    You've been such a part of me,
    And though you choose to walk a separate road I still believe in you...
    
    So I call to your heart,
    Hear me callin' to your...
    Oh, I call to your heart,
    I'm comin' to your heart...
    
    Distant voices from the silent night, call to a memory
    Someone touched me but I don't feel right,
    It's only you and me, believe me...
    
    When I call to your heart,
    Hear me callin' to your...
    Oh, I call to your heart,
    I'm callin' to your, callin' to your...
    Hear me call to your...heart...your love...
    
    I'm lost along the way...
    But don't let, I found you someday...
    
    (Instrumental)
    Callin' to your... ((Fade out))
    
    [The song doesn't end where they cut it off. (: ]
    
    Hear me call to your...
    Hear me comin' to your...
    
    Darlin', remember, the things that we had,
    I gave everything, my world, to hold you again,
    And darlin', together, we can make it work out,
    So stay with me baby, I need you now,
    
    Call to your heart,
    I've been callin' you back again, and hear all the times when I,
    Call to your heart,
    Hear me callin' to your, callin' to your,
    Call to your heart,
    
    Oh I'll call to your heart,
    Hear me callin' to your, callin' to your, heart!
    
    To your heart...
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    +                   +
      Evacuator Playset   [EVPL]
    +                   +
    [My dad has a whole collection of G.I. Joes - and most of their weapons - dating
     back to the 80s. He's also got a smaller collection of "sold separately"
     accessories, though I don't remember if he had any battle sets. Still, it's
     always funny to hear kids use heavy expletives and mimic the more violent
     things they see on TV. :D]
    
    KID: Hahaha! I'm gonna slit your throat in your sleep!
    
    DAD: What's that, son?
    
    ANNOUNCER: Introducing the Evacuator Playset and Action Figures, featuring Tim!
    
    (kids imitating gunfire noises)
    
    TIM KID 1: Let's evacuate these b----es! Right, Ho Chi?
    
    HO CHI KID: Ah so, you a big truzzabolt[?], Tim!
    
    A: Ho Chi Vat sold separately. You can relive all your favorite moments from the
       movie "Evacuator!"
    
    WANDERING HANDS KID: The savages are attacking! How! Where's Tim?
    
    TK1: Here I am! I hear some ethnics need to be taught a lesson in freedom!
         Where's my bazooka?!
    
    (kids imitating gunfire noises)
    
    A: Bazooka sold separately. The Evacuator playset comes with a Venezuelan
       village, villagers, and real napalm!
    
    VILLAIN KID: (Latino accent) You'll never take our village, freedom loving
                  American scum!
    
    TIM KID 2: No, but I'll take your daughter! WHILE YOU WATCH! Ha ha ha!
               Right, Ho Chi?
    
    HCK: Ha so, ha ha ha! You work funny soon!
    
    TK1: Let's burn this s---hole down! You ready, Wandering Hands?
    
    A: Wandering Hands Peyotic Playset sold separately. Get Tim, Ho Chi Vat, and
       Wandering Hands, with their Battle-Action Weapons! Each sold separately. The
       Evacuator Playset! Ages 3 and under.
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    L: If you're on a spirit journey you'll really understand this next record. If
       you've got a basic command of the English language you'll...probably
       understand it too. Take it away boys, make me sob.
    
    +--------------------------------------+
    | The Art of Noise - "Moments in Love" | [ANML]
    +--------------------------------------+
    ["Moments In Love" was released as a single in 1985 but had been included on two
     albums by this synthesizer-centered team in 1983. This song was originally TEN
     minutes long. Mmmmm. It has also been sampled by countless others including
     many hip-hop artists (in particular), though sometimes I imagine the lyrics to
     "Lovers & Friends" with this base line. The song was also played at Madonna's
     wedding.
    
     Not long after this song's release as a single the band was torn apart
     allegedly due to disputes over creative control, but the song's legacy lives on
     in its countless remixes and covers as well as its samples.
    
     Oh, and this piece is all instrumental, so there aren't any lyrics. Enjoy!]
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    L: That was Art of Noise, "Moments in Love."
    
    I: We love you, just the way you are, on or off your period! (woman crying)
       Emotion 98.3.
    
    (Begin Music)
    
    L: I said this to a girl on the bus once and she slapped me - "I Could Dream
       About You." Dan Hartman.
    
    +---------------------------------------+
    | Dan Hartman - "I Can Dream About You" | [DHDY]
    +---------------------------------------+
    ["I Can Dream About You" comes off the soundtrack of the 50s/80s gangland movie
     Streets of Fire, which opened in theatres in 1984. The song was his second of
     three #1 hits, after which he continued as a songwriter and producer to such
     notable artists as Tina Turner, Joe Cocker (of San Andreas fame) and the late,
     great James Brown.
    
     Hartman died in 1994 due to a brain tumor caused by AIDS. So remember folks,
     keep it safe and protected out there.]
    
    No more timing, each year it falls from my eyes,
    I'm not hiding, the remedy to cure this ol' heart of mine,
    
    I can dream about you, if I can't hold you tonight...
    I can dream about you, you know how to hold me just right...
    
    Moving sidewalk, I don't see under my feet...
    Cry me up from, down here below where the street sees me lonely for you,
    
    I can dream about you, If I can't hold you tonight,
    I can dream about you, you know how to hold me just right...
    
    (I can dream about you) I'm gonna press my lips against you and hold you to me,
    (I can dream about you) You know you got me spellbound, what else could it be,
    
    Moving sidewalk, I don't see under my feet...
    Cry me up from, the pain in my heart, 'cause it's you that I need!
    
    (Instrumental)
    
    I can dream...
    I can dream...
    If I can dream... whoa... ((FADE OUT))
    
    I don't understand it, I can't keep my mind off loving you,
    Ooo, now baby, I'm caught up in the magic I see in you,
    There's one thing to do,
    
    (Chorus repeat to fade)
    
    --------------------------------------------------o0o-
    
    [Aaaaaaaaaand, that's a wrap! Thanks for listening and
     we hope to see you soon, for more GTA Radio guides!]
    
    ==================================================0o0=
    
    +===================+
    | IV. E-mail Policy | [EMAP]
    +===================+
    E-mail me if...AND ONLY IF...
    - You have facts and information on the artists and songs played on this station
      that I haven't already found or can be found on Wikipedia.
    - You can correct some of the lyrics, and I will also check those.
    - If I typoed or messed up in grammar, which is highly unlikely. :D
    - I'm missing something from the disclaimer, as this is my first guide.
    - You have a sensible suggestion as to how to improve/add on to the guide.
    - You want to publish, link to or copy this FAQ to a 
      CREDIBLE publication or website.
    
    If I can understand your spelling, punctuation, and grammar, 
    AND believe what you claim, I will be sure to credit you. (:
    
    No flames or I will block you on the first strike, beyotch. Geeyeah!
    
    And no comments on my loneliness. PLEASE.
    
    That being said...
    
    forelli_boy@myway.com
    
    ==================================================0o0=
    
    +=========================+
    | V. Special Thanks To... | [SPTT]
    +=========================+
    Me, for bothering to make this and transcribing the lyrics for many of the
        featured songs.
    The lyrics sites I checked, to correct and confirm the lyrics I transcribed and
                                get others for songs I didn't like as much.
    Fernando Martinez, welcome back. :D
    GameFAQs, for generously hosting such a 80s-self-indulgent guide.
    Rockstar Games, for the Grand Theft Auto series, especially the Vice City games.
                    Can't wait for Number 4 and San Andreas Stories, guys,
                    do us proud!
    Phil Collins, because he's Phil Collins, dammit.
    
    ==================================================0o0=
    
    +========================+
    | BONUS: No Thanks To... |
    +========================+
    The people who think I could be out there improving the world instead of
               wasting fossil fuels by writing this guide.
    Jack Thompson, because no, I'm Noooot OooooKaaayy....I'm not OKAAAAAY!
    The list goes on, but I'm already digressing. I'm...dreaming. And so on.
    
    ==================================================0o0=
    
    +                                      +
      "Guns and crying, they go together."
    +                                      +
    
    End of Guide. This guide © 2006 Francis Santos-Viola.