Review by iovandrake

"Bad. As in the opposite of good."

This game sure doesn't live up to some of the hype I have heard for it. I mean I was promised a foul mouthed party guy and instead all I got was a black haired punk. I was promised hard fast visually stimulating action gameplay. Instead I got some of the dullest button mashing combos for hours. I got AI that forgot to attack me while I manage to kill it effortlessly. I don't get why it's so hard for a developer to test their games before release. I mean at a bare minimum there's a few dozen people working on a major title. If they all devoted 1 hour each to test every new major addition they would have hundreds of test hours before ever even letting a tester touch it. It's inexcusable that a major developer would be so sloppy in their production of a game. Were they all too busy partying to try? I just don't get it. It's like they didn't really care all that much.

Gameplay: 1.5/5

Terrible. Glitches are to be found everywhere. Being able to fly infinitely. Enemy AI that forgets to attack or enemies that glitch into a simple loop they can't break out of. I even managed to get stuck in a death loop after falling into a pit. Now when the game is actually working the gameplay is still bad. It's far too easy to hold the interest of all but the simplest of children. I found the gameplay less stimulating for my brain and less challenging for my reactions than is acceptable by my standards. The only reason I'm not giving this a 1 is because it is at least broad enough in audience with how dumbed down it is. I'll just consider the unbroken gameplay as intended for the sweet mentally challenged kids. I can't imagine anyone else feeling even slightly challenged by this.

Why did the developers feel the need to dumb down their fighting system so much? It's like they are afraid players will run away if the game is too difficult. Here's a tip for you Ninja Theory. The more challenging a game is (while being fair) the more fun it is. Games are challenges by nature. They are supposed to involve at least a bare minimum of skill. When they require no skill they might as well be movies. Whether you pack them full of movies or pack them full of dull gameplay the result is the same. Me sitting there pressing a button dispassionately while I watch bright visuals and hear crisp sounds. Kinda like a movie.

Story: 2/5

This was alright. I mean I get the feeling that the writers are trying too hard. Demon Fox News takes the cake. I mean how many times do people make fun of that? Isn't that kind of old and out of place for a game like this? Is it supposed to be edgy? Is it supposed to make you laugh and feel like you are in on some special kind of joke? Fox News is trash. This is well understood and has been made fun of thousands of times. Try harder to come up with something fresh. Instead of just beating your political message through. The story is rife with this terrible effort in creativity. That's not to mention when that lack of creativity is hurt even more by a heavy handed message that Ninja Theory crammed into every scene.

Even if it's mostly uncreative boring tripe I will at least give it a 2 for making basic sense. It's unfortunate that the only postive I can give the story (the thing that is actually supposed to engage the players) is that it makes basic sense. As in it has no huge plotholes or unexplained anomalies. That's a terrible thing. It isn't hard to come up with a good story that actually is interesting. This game's story seems like it was written as a 7th grade project.

Graphics: 3/5

Not bad. Well that is the detail of the areas and effects for scenes are pretty good. However where the game fails is in character animation. It's very choppy. Seems to be a FPS issue. Also the character designs are pretty bad. Those being minor issues though the score manages a 3.

Sound: 2/5

The music is not very interesting. Sounds like it's inspired too much by garbage garage quality instrumentals. The sound effects are often ridiculously fake, irritating, or just underpowered. Voice work is alright. Except of course when it comes to the bosses. Which just sound ridiculously cliche.

Final Rating: Add the scores together and then divide by 2. So 8.5 divided by 2 equals 4.25, which we round down to 4. The game is not worth buying at all. Maybe rent it if you don't mind dumbed down gameplay and story. Maybe rent it if you want a good laugh. I must stress that you at most rent the game and at least never even touch it. I know I regret wasting my $60 on it. Could have gotten myself something more useful. Like a couple hundred rolls of toilet paper.


Reviewer's Score: 4/10 | Originally Posted: 02/11/13

Game Release: DmC: Devil May Cry (US, 01/15/13)


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