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 //   \\  |    Please click the link above to recommend this FAQ    |  //   \\
/ Ż| |Ż \ |    to other users. This is the best way you can show    | / Ż| |Ż \
Ż| | | |Ż |   your appreciation for my FAQs. Thank you very much!   | Ż| | | |Ż
 | | | |  '._______________________________________________________.'  | | | |
 |_|Ż|_|     ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ     |_|Ż|_|

_______________________________________________________________________________
                                  Blitz Knight Stunt -and- Thnikaman Present...

                   ___    _
                    | |_||_
                    | | ||_
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 _pMMMMMMMMMM`                                                      "MMMMMMMMM
 ~~~~~~~~~                                                                `



FAQ/WALKTHROUGH

Authored by: Bkstunt -and- Thnikaman

Contact:

   Email:    Faqs @ Bkstunt . Com

   Facebook: Facebook.com/Bkstunt

   Website:  Bkstunt.com



==============================================================================
                              - TABLE OF CONTENTS -
==============================================================================

   Note: Press Ctrl+F and enter in the code to skip to that section.


THINGS TO KNOW BEFORE YOU PLAY

 - Introduction......................................................[BAC-INT]
 - Controls..........................................................[BAC-CON]
 - Game Basics & Tips................................................[BAC-GBT]
 - Companions........................................................[BAC-COM]


MAIN WALKTHROUGH

 - Spanktopia..........................................................[BAC01]
 - The Forbidden Zone..................................................[BAC02]
 - Forest of Tomorrow..................................................[BAC03]
 - Rainbow's End.......................................................[BAC04]
 - Barnacle Lake.......................................................[BAC05]
 - Valhalla Heights....................................................[BAC06]


 - Optional: The Forbidden Arena.......................................[BAC07]


LISTS & STUFF

 - Main Quests.......................................................[BAC-MQU]
 - Side Quests.......................................................[BAC-SDQ]
 - Bosses............................................................[BAC-BOS]
 - Card Upgrades.....................................................[BAC-CRD]
 - Trophies..........................................................[BAC-TRO]
 - Credits...........................................................[BAC-CRE]


==============================================================================
                               Introduction                         
==================================================================[BAC-INT]===


Hello everyone! Bkstunt here with a walkthrough on The Baconing, DeathSpank's
latest adventure! DeathSpank and DeathSpank: Thongs of Virtue were some of the
FIRST guides I ever wrote when I started writing guides, so I HAD to do The
Baconing as well!

My friend thnikaman is helping me out again as it's pretty much a tradition
for us to write on DeathSpank by now (if you can call two games a tradition),
and we'll help you guys and gals out as much as we can. The Baconing isn't an
exceptionally hard game, but if we can help at all this guide is worth it.

For this guide, I did ALL of the writing and formatting while Thnikaman
played. That lasted until Barnacle Lake, where I took over and finished the
game off by myself. Darn life, getting in Thnikaman's way...

Anyways, enough of my blabbering, enjoy the guide.


==========
FOLLOW ME!
==========

Want to talk about some games!? Maybe throw out some ideas for what YOU want
to see me write about next? I made a facebook account for just that reason!

You can 'Like' me at:

   ====================
   Facebook.com/Bkstunt
   ====================

I also have a website you can visit to see what other guides I've written,
as well as see upcoming projects. I've also written a TON of reviews that will
go up there (You want to play GOOD games, right?!).

   ===========
   Bkstunt.com
   ===========


So between those two sites, come on over and say 'Hi!' sometime.


=========
Donations
=========

First of all, let me say that my primary motivation for writing guides is,
and always will be, for the gamer. However, as I've learned by writing just
a few guides on new games, it can hit your pocket book! I wish they'd give me
these games so I could crank out great guides, but they don't! Ah, maybe one
day!

Until then, if you've found this guide helpful please consider donating to
help me offset my costs. You can donate to my paypal account below:

   =======
   PAYPAL:
   =======

Paypal ID:

Gregorio31 @ Gmail . Com


Hey, it's WAY better than paying $20 for a guide, right? Even the smallest
amount will be appreciated.


=======
AMAZON:
=======

ALTERNATELY, if you shop at Amazon.com (who doesn't?!) you can ALSO help me
out by shopping through me! It doesn't cost you a SINGLE CENT either, which
is kick-ass. All you do is visit my webpage's donation page below:

   ==========================
   Bkstunt.com/donations.html
   ==========================

Once you are there, you can click on the AMAZON link at the top and shop as
normal. 4% of what you buy will then be sent to me. 

Please be sure to send me an email so I can thank you personally as well! Or
just send me an email to say "Thanks!" Every one of those I read makes my day!

~ Bk

 
Onto the table of contents, and don't forget to have fun!



==============================================================================
                                   Controls                        
==================================================================[BAC-CON]===



Here are the controls for playing The Baconing:




                _,.--.,_                              _,.--.,_
               |  _____ |                            | _____  |
               |-'     `'.__________________________,'`     `-|
             ,'    __     `.                      ,'    .,.    `.
            /     |  |      \        SONY        /     (/_\)     \
           !   __  \/  __    |                  !  ,-.  `-'  ,-.  |
           |  |__ >  < __|   !__SELECT   START__| ([ ])     ( O ) !
           !       /\        ___`-.        ,-'     `-'  ,-.  `-'  |
           |\     |__|     ,'   `. \      / ,'   `.    ( X )     /|
           | `.           /       \ |    | /       \    `-'    ,' |
           |   `-.____,-. \       / |____| \       / ,-.____,-'   |
           |           ,'\ `.___,' /      \ `.___,' /`.           |
           |          /   `-.___,-'        `-.___,-'   \          |
           \         /                                  \         /
            \       /                                    \       /
             `.__,-'                                      `-.__,'




Left Analog Stick: Move Character.

Right Analog Stick: Rotate/Zoom Camera.

Start Button: Pause Menu.

Select Button: Quest Log.

Directional Buttons: Assigned Item.

   Note: You can manually assign helpful items to these four buttons and use
         them as a shortcut while playing. Very helpful.

Square: Assigned Weapon.

Triangle: Assigned Weapon.

Circle: Assigned Weapon.

X Button: Assigned Weapon.

   Note: As you can see, you can manually assign weapons to whichever face
         button you want. Neato!

L1: Map.

R1: Equipment Menu.

L2: Target-Lock.

   Note: You can switch targets with the right analog stick while holding
         down L2.

R2: Block.



==============================================================================
                                Game Basics & Tips                      
==================================================================[BAC-GBT]===


 o You can't die in this game, as you'll respawn at the nearest outhouse
   whenever you are 'Killed'. You do drop a lot of money though, so be sure
   to go pick it back up.


 o Fortune cookies give you hints (or outright tell you) how to complete
   quests. They are a common drop, so use them whenever you need to.


 o The only REAL thing to do with money in this game is buy grenades, food,
   and potions. Don't bother saving up for weapons or armor, they aren't going
   to be sold.


 o Missing an item you should have? Try checking the lost and found!


 o You can play co-op in this game with the easy to use drop-in/drop-out
   system. Playing co-op is EASIER than playing alone, so grab a buddy!


 o Remember to GRIND weapons you don't need for cash. You want a tidy
   inventory so you can easily see what you have.


 o Along those lines, I recommend keeping the 'Automatically Equip the Best
   Armor' button ON. You do need to manually equip the best weapons though.
   Your inventory will TELL YOU when you have superior firepower being unused
   by highlighting it GREEN in your inventory.


 o Be sure to check out the NOTEBOOK and STATS BOOK in the inventory to see
   what DeathSpank has been up to (and of course to see your stats).


 o Remember you can CHARGE ranged attacks, which is an EXCELLENT WAY to start
   any fight.


 o Also remember that UNDEAD enemies can only be hurt by NATURE weapons. It's
   a good idea to keep the STRONGES ELEMENTAL WEAPON you have with you at all
   times.


 o Really learn how to use your shield to block and deflect attacks! You have
   to essentially hold the shield until it glows, than let go with good timing
   to HIT projectiles back to your attacker. This now only protects you, but
   SEVERELY damages the enemy. You can also just 'Bash' the enemy after the
   shield glows to push them back/stun them. Do these a lot as there are also
   trophies on each.



==============================================================================
                                Companions                      
==================================================================[BAC-COM]===


To begin playing in Co-op, have the second player simply hit START. You'll
then have to pick out ONE of the following companions.


This section exsists to show you your options. A companion is only as good
as their abilities in DeathSpank. This is because:


 - Companions CANNOT EQUIP WEAPONS OR ARMOR.

 - Companions abilities "level up" as DeathSpank levels up.

 - DeathSpank and the selected companion SHARE the life bar.

 - Companions can "warp" to DeathSpank's location by hitting L2. A VERY
   useful thing to know (and take advantage of).


Ok, now that you know, get to know these people:



   ~.- Sparkles the Wizard -.~


          Square Attack: Fire Stream

            Description: Sparkles will stand in a single place and shoot out a
                         non-stop stream of fire. Great if no one is targeting
                         you, lethal if they are...


             'X' Attack: Magic Missle

            Description: Sparkles fires off magic at the enemy. Your basic
                         attack, it is handy because Sparkles can run around
                         while doing it.


          Circle Attack: Healing

            Description: A basic heal spell. Very handy. This skill has a
                         small timer on it to prevent over-use. Still, a GREAT
                         skill to have and a big PLUS for Sparkles.


        Triangle Attack: Suicide Clones

            Description: Sparkles will make a clone of himself. Now, THAT
                         clone can ALSO make clones. When they see an enemy,
                         the clones will rush over to it and explode, dealing
                         MASSIVE damage.



   ~.- Steve -.~


          Square Attack: Chain Pull

            Description: Steve will throw out a chain that has the ability to
                         catch an enemy and drag it to Steve. It has its uses,
                         especially with Steves katana's.


             'X' Attack: Katana Swipe

            Description: Steve's basic attack: he'll simply swing both of his
                         katana's at whatever's in front of him.


          Circle Attack: Shuriken Storm

            Description: Steve will start twirling around in a tornado while
                         chucking shurikens in EVERY direction. Definitely an
                         area attack. This has a slight timer on it to prevent
                         abuse.


        Triangle Attack: Healing Rainbow

            Description: Steve can make a healing rainbow appear, healing
                         him and DeathSpank while they are near it. This also
                         has a fairly short timer on it.



   ~.- Tankko -.~


          Square Attack: Webbing

            Description: Tankko will attempt to encase the targeted enemy in
                         webbing, a good attack that can be followed up easily
                         by 'X' or Triangle. This also obviously helps by
                         immobilizing an enemy. Doesn't work on everything.


             'X' Attack: Devour

            Description: One of Tankko's best attacks, he will attack the
                         selected enemy, but if it's webbed he will CONSUME
                         it. This heals Tankko and DeathSpank.


          Circle Attack: Poison

            Description: Tankko will poison a small area (about the size of a
                         barrel explosion). The poison doesn't last very long,
                         but it does its job.


        Triangle Attack: Impregnate

            Description: Tankko's most INTERESTING skill, you can actually
                         IMPREGNATE enemies with your children, and watch them
                         burst forth. Your little copies will hunt down and
                         hurt enemies around them.



   ~.- Bob From Marketing -.~


          Square Attack: Feeding Frenzy

            Description: Bob will start to EAT his enemy, restoring health to
                         himself and DeathSpank. Note that you can also eat
                         the CORPSES of your enemies after battle as well!


             'X' Attack: Swordfish

            Description: Fairly self-explanitory: Bob attacks with his
                         swordfish. Ouch!


          Circle Attack: Laser Eyes

            Description: Yes, the Hammerhead Shark has lasers for eyes! Use
                         them as Bob's ranged attack.


        Triangle Attack: Landshark

            Description: Bob can burrow underground. Use this ability to
                         surprise enemies and knock them down. Very useful.
                         This has a moderate timer on it.



   ~.- Roesha -.~


 Note: To use Roesha, you must DOWNLOAD her first.


          Square Attack: Health Bullet

            Description: Roesha fires a bullet at DeathSpank, restoring their
                         health. This has a pretty quick timer, so you can use
                         it quite a bit.


             'X' Attack: Karate Chop

            Description: Roesha's main melee attack. Well, her only melee
                         attack really...


          Circle Attack: Revolver

            Description: Roesha attacks with her revolver. A powerful ranged
                         attack.


        Triangle Attack: Disco Party

            Description: Roesha will throw a disco ball into the air. Lights
                         and funk fill the area, making lesser enemies dance
                         along to the beat for a short while. The disco ball
                         then electrocutes them for a bit.



With all of that out of the way, let's move onto the walkthrough! I hope you
enjoy it guys!


==============================================================================
                                  Game Start!                      
==============================================================================

==============================================================================
                                  Spanktopia                     
====================================================================[BAC01]===


After the events of DeathSpank and DeathSpank: Thongs of Virtue, our hero
is... bored. Having vanquished all evil in the world as well as mastered the
ancient art of cooking, DeathSpank waits for his newest challenge...


After "accidentally" pushing Sandy's head-jar off of its resting place, our
hero is suddenly thrust into his newest adventure! Note that the game will
point out HOW to play as you go along, but here's our FIRST quest:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: What The Hell...?                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: At the start of the game.                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Glorious Information!                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go find your good buddy the Thongolith Researcher!   |
   | You really can't miss him, so just play the game.                       |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Our here starts out in his tower (DeathSpank's Fortress of Platitudes), in the
land of "Spantopia". Explore your surroundings and soon a giant drill will
burst forth and destroy the wall, unleash a wave of cyborques upon you! This
is the perfect opportunity to try out your default weapons, so smite your
enemies down. Also, be sure to notice the OUTHOUSE here.


  o Outhouse #1: The First Outhouse
        
       Location: DeathSpank's Fortress of Platitudes


Head out the hole in the wall and grab the nearby treasure chest. The unicorn
weapon is decent, if you want. There's more health potions too. To the left is
some more orques that is a perfect place to try out your TRIANGLE JUSTICE
weapon, the mobile nuker. Past that is our old friend, the WISE COW!


Our poor friend has suffered rear-end related damages! Talk to the cow to
hear a rather one-sided discussion about current events. More enemies await
you on the left. Note that there is a good mix of archers and melee orques
here, so luring the melee enemies away isn't a bad idea (and remember to use
your shield). Once you kill all the enemies on the left, a bomb will come
and destroy a wall to the north, letting more enemies in.

Kill these as well and you will undoubtedly find yourself at LEVEL 2! You'll
now have to pick out a hero card. If you are playing co-op with someone, you
just HAVE to pick the SPARKLES card, which lets your partner do 10% + damage.
If you aren't, pick one of the other two (health is preferred to deflection
damage).


Head north through the opening to meet another old friend: the Thongolith
Researcher! Isn't it great that he has a name!? He'll surmise "the hell" is
being caused by DeathSpank foolishly wearing all the thongs at once! The
solution? Burn the thongs in bacon fires (Bacon Fires!) scattered throughout
the land. How very spread-out! There's an outhouse here as well:


  o Outhouse #2: Researcher Outhouse
        
       Location: North of DeathSpank's Fortress of Platitudes


We'll have a LOT of new quests here, mostly involving throwing thongs into
bacon fires. The only REAL one to take notice of is "Talk To the Doorphan",
so feel free to quickly scroll past the other ones as they take up a lot of
space...


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Talk To the Doorphan.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Thongolith Researcher.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: The #1 Punchcard. Oh, and more quests!                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Continue playing the game and you'll undoubtedly run |
   | into the little tramp!                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Destroy Thong 1 in Forbidden Zone.                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Thongolith Researcher.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Job Satisfaction!                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Don't worry, you will acomplish this by playing the  |
   | game. Specifically, by going through the Forbidden Zone area.           |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name:  Destroy Thong 2 in Forest Of Tomorrow.                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Thongolith Researcher.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: A LOT of Job Satisfaction!?                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Don't worry, you will acomplish this by playing the  |
   | game. Specifically, by going through the Forest of Tomorrow area.       |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name:  Destroy Thong 3 in Rainbow's End.                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Thongolith Researcher.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: What, you want something more than job satisfaction!?          |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Don't worry, you will acomplish this by playing the  |
   | game. Specifically, by going through the Rainbow's End area.            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name:  Destroy Thong 4 in Barnacle Lake.                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Thongolith Researcher.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Um... job satisfaction is pretty much it, man...               |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Don't worry, you will acomplish this by playing the  |
   | game. Specifically, by going through the Rainbow's End area.            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name:  Destroy Thong 5 in Valhalla Heights.                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Thongolith Researcher.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Guess!? Yep, Job Satisfaction!                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Don't worry, you will acomplish this by playing the  |
   | game. Specifically, by going through the Rainbow's End area.            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name:  Destroy The 5 Extra Thongs.                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Thongolith Researcher.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: The knowledge that you are VERY close to beating the game?     |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Don't worry, you will acomplish this by playing the  |
   | game. Specifically, by going through the Rainbow's End area.            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o



Ok, after all those quests are given to you, head to the lower left to find
another treasure chest. Now head upwards past the researcher to find some
chickens. Up ahead are a group of orques, but you can use the explosive
barrels to make them easy (remember you can manually target things with L2).


Past the orques is the "Doorphan" we've heard so much about (this area is
called the "Replicatrix", FYI). He'll explain that to get past the electric
gate up ahead, we'll need to program the nearby replicator (giving you a
quest). You do this by finding and using punchcards (giving you another
quest). The orphen will even tell you that to FIND the CODE to the machine,
you simply have to use a fortune cookie! Note the third outhouse is here as
well:


  o Outhouse #3: Spanktopia Outhouse
        
       Location: Replicatrix


You'll now have these three new quests:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Reprogram Replicator.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the "Doorphen".                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Replicator Control Crystal.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You need to collect punch cards to feed to the       |
   | replicator. I recommend following the guide to find all the punch       |
   | cards, just continue reading below and you'll be fine.                  |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Unlock Security Gate.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the "Doorphen".                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Access to the rest of the world.                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This is an easy one, you'll easily be able to do     |
   | this after completing the "Reprogram Replicator" quest. Just simply     |
   | interact with the gate one you obtain the replicator control crystal.   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Use A Fortune Cookie.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the "Doorphen".                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: The Code to the Replicator (3, 5, 4)                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Um... simply use a fortune cookie on the "Reprogram  |
   | Replicator" quest...                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Well, we can take care of the "Use A Fortune Cookie" quest right now! Simply
go into the quest menu and put your cursor over the "REPROGRAM REPLICATOR"
quest and hit square to get a hint (the hint will be "Your lucky numbers today
are 3, 5, 4. In bed."). Those numbers are the punch cards you need, meaning
that the punch card #1 the orphen gave us doesn't help at all! Well, at least
we got another quest done.


Head WEST from the orphen, where you'll find the main street in ruin. You
will find more chickens and orques to the WEST along with FOOD and POTION
vendors. Feel free to buy some health items if you need them, as staying
alive is, well... just great! Head down and you'll be headed towards the
"Insectorium". The machine-spiders here are really nothing special, but one
of them IS level four, so be careful and monitor your health. You should get
Punch Card 2 as well after smiting down all the enemies in the area. Down in
this area you will find another NPC, as well as the fourth outhouse:


  o Outhouse #4: Locksmith Outhouse
        
       Location: Insectorium


Go ahead and talk to the locksmith, who will give you a series of crazy,
impossible tasks (and one real quest, as he tells you his chest nearby holds
a punch-card). Keep talking to him as he gets crazier, and soon a missle will
come by and help you out, giving you SIX golden keys. What luck!


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Unlock Chest.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Locksmith.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Punch Card 4.                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Talk to the locksmith and use the keys that you'll   |
   | soon get on the nearby chest.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Golden keys let you open up red chests, so open up the one to your right to
claim Punch Card 4! Now head back up the area and search the northwest corner
of the area for another red chest with several goodies in it! Sweet. With keys
in hand, head EAST now. Fight your way past a few orcs (the medics here heal
their allies, so target them first!) and you'll meet up with another old
friend: the Green Alien!


The Green Alien will naturally ask you to commit genocide against the red
aliens. He'll also promise you a blank punch card, as well as gives you a new
ranged weapon called the "Alien Gizmo". This item isn't really a weapon, but
it deactivates shields when used.


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Revenge Against Red Aliens.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Green Alien.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Blank Punch Card.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Slaughter the red aliens to the right of you.        |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Go ahead and equip the gizmo and manually target the "Force Field Beacon" and
shoot it. This deactivates it, but don't unequip your gizmo yet. Head east
and fight the red alien you find. They like to bombard you with ranged attacks
so close quickly. Head south to find the "Red Alien Commander" who has a force
field around him! You need to shoot him with the gizmo to drop it, and THEN
you can hurt him!

Once you kill the commander he will drop a battering ram. You should also
have gotten Punch Card #3 by killing the orques and the aliens leading up to
the commander. The green alien will show up to, allowing you to easily talk to
him to claim the blank punch card as your reward. There is a red chest down
here to, so be sure to open it up for a wealth of goodies.


Head north now and kill the "loot bearer" orque. Keep heading north to the
"Undead Side of Town". This leads to another NPC and another outhouse:


  o Outhouse #5: Ghostly Outhouse
        
       Location: Undead Side of Town


Go ahead and talk to the orphen who will say that a bunch of ghosts have
stolen his poor stuffed animal and ripped it in twain. He'll ask you to
retrieve it, naturally. But if you've played a DeathSpank before, you'll know
that you need NATURE weapons to harm UNDEAD foes. Thankfully, the orphen
hooks us UP by giving us our first nature melee weapon (the Asp of Wacking)
and several poison bolts. We also have our first side-quest:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Stuffed Animal Rescue.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Utopian Orphan.                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: The unconditional love of a motherless child.                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go kill the ghost lords to the north of where you    |
   | pick this quest up at. Combine the pieces of the stuffed animal they    |
   | drop and give it back to the orphan.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Equip your nature weapon and head to the left. Notice that the ghosts here
only take damage from nature weapons, but if you are playing co-op, many of
your companions attacks seems to hurt them just fine (Perhaps all of them, I
really haven't checked. It's a definite advantage though!). Also beware of
the barrels in this area as breaking them produces a cloud of toxic gas. This
gas actually REALLY hurts the ghosts, but it can also kill YOU quickly, so use
it to your advantage. There is one more thing to note here: there are some
enemies here called "Angry Undead" that try to suicide bomb you. Be sure to
take them out with a ranged weapon. They are easy to spot since they run at
you while the ghosts here just float.


Soon you'll find a ghost lord with some smaller ghosts. Take him out to find
half of the stuffed animal. Continue north to find a regular blue chest and
more ghosts to the right. Be sure to locate the "Hole Punching Machine" to
the right (which shouldn't be too hard since it has a big "Hole Punch" sign
above it). Interact with it by pressing 'Triangle' while looking at it.
Now select the blank card to produce Punch Card 5! Perfect! Note that there
is also a weapon vendor to the right, where you can buy assorted grenades and
bolts, as well as anything you've ground up.


Head north now to find more barrels and another utopian ghost lord. He will
drop the second half of the stuffed animal, so you'll need to go into your
inventory and combine the two stuffed animals. Be sure to explore north of
the ghost lord to find a red chest with goodies in it, including a fire sword.


With all of that done, head back to the orphen to give him back his stuffed
animal, recieving some experience and... not much else. Oh well. With that
last punch card in hand, use the nearby outhouse to travel to the Spanktopia
Outhouse. Head over to the replicator and insert the cards in the following
order: 3, 5, 4. This completes the "Reprogram Replicator" quest. Now, simply
interact with the security gate and the crystal you just got will allow you to
pass, completing the "Unlock Security Gate" quest. Sweet!


Move forward and you'll be forced to talk to the Helpful Utopian Orphan, who
will point out the boss up ahead (the Mineorque). You'll get a new quest now
to defeat him:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Defeat The Mineorque.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Helpful Utopian Orphan.                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: The Drill of Justice.                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: See the boss strategy for "Mineorque".               |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Head up past the few remaining orques to find the Mineorque. Go ahead and talk
to him to start the boss fight.


 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
 | Boss Battle -                  Mineorque                   - Boss Battle |
 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Our first boss fight! The Mineorque is rather challenging! Get too far |
 |   from him and he'll use hit drill attack on you (which you can't avoid) |
 |   but he has several close attacks as well, including a basic hit, a     |
 |   flamethrower attack, and a spinning circle attack. However, he'll also |
 |   summon several lesser orques to come help him out from time to time.   |
 |                                                                          |
 |   The best time to kill the lesser orques (or at least the ranged ones)  |
 |   is when Mineorque is doing his flame attack. Be careful of his flames  |
 |   and have 3-5 health potions ready and you'll win without much trouble. |
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+


As the Mineorque falls you can claim his weapon: the Drill of Justice!
Go north now and mop up the remaining orques and open the blue treasure chest.
Keep following the path to enter the next area...



==============================================================================
                                The Forbidden Zone                     
====================================================================[BAC02]===


Ah, the Forbidden Zone... It sounds... foreboding!

Contine inwards to find yet another orphan to talk to. He'll tell you about
Z.I.M.O.N, the leader of this place, but can't help you out with bacon fire.
Past him is another outhouse:


  o Outhouse #6: Forbidden Zone Outhouse
        
       Location: South of the Forbidden Hatchery


Continue on and you'll find some new enemies: the forbidden zone warrior and
hatchlings. Further in you'll the Mayor, who is trapped by some webbing,
giving you a new quest:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Free The Mayor.                                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By The Mayor.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Experience and a Camera.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Simply kill the hatchlings to the left of the mayor  |
   | for their glands.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


You can take care of this quest quickly by defeating the hatchlings to the
right for their glands. Do so and free the mayor afterwards for another quest:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Photograph The Mayor.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By The Mayor.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Access to the Forbidden City.                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Follow the mayor (he actually disappears) and keep   |
   | going through the Forbidden Zone. You'll see him pop up in different    |
   | areas, where you'll need to equip the camera and take pictures of him.  |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Well, fun. Continue onwards into this area. You'll come upon yet another
outhouse:


  o Outhouse #7: Big Game Hunter Outhouse
        
       Location: East of the Forbidden Hatchery


There is a NPC here named "Big Game Hunter". He'll eventually give you a new
quest to take down a big bad beastie of him!


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Dire Beast.                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Big Game Hunter.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Laser Axe.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You can find the Dire Beast in the Forbidden Beast   |
   | Den. It isn't particularly hard to kill, so get its hide and bring it   |
   | back to the Big Game Hunter.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Contine to the right. You'll fight more forbidden warriors and archers. There
will also be a path split here where you can find the mayor on the upper path,
so be sure to photograph him. Continue on and you'll reach the forbidden camp
area. This camp is jam-packed with baddies, so keep your health up and blow up
the explosive barrels from a distance. There is a blue treasure chest in the
southern part of the camp, and a red one in the north.

Continue on when you have slaughered the entire camp. You'll encounter some
cactus enemies, but beyond that is your SECOND photo-op opportunity. I liked
the statue of liberty thing, too...


Continue on and you'll find another outhouse:


  o Outhouse #8: Forbidden City Outhouse
        
       Location: South of the Forbidden City


Ok, from here we have a path split. For now, go south-east into the "Beast
Den" (it will say "Forbidden Zone" then "Forbidden Beast Clearing"). There
are beasts here that knock you back when they hit you. You can also find a
dead adventurer here with some beast claws. Soldier on and you'll soon find
the Dire Beast. Kill it to gain its pelt.


You can feel free to explore the path south-east of here if you wish: it is
basically a camp full of dark warriors and archers around level 5-6. They
aren't hard by any means if you keep your health up and beware of the MASSIVE
amount of dangerous barrels here. There are two chests to find here too, a
blue one and a red one.


Once you're done, return the Dire Beast pelt to the Big Game Hunter. He will
congradulate you with a laser axe and give you a new baddie to kill:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Hive Queen.                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Big Game Hunter.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Cyberflunk Shoulders.                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You will find the Hive Queen in the "Forbidden Hive" |
   | area. Have some potions ready as she hits HARD! An undead weapon helps  |
   | as well!                                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Ok, well we may as well go to the "Forbidden Hive" area, north and west of the
path split we encountered earlier. You'll encounter small, medium, and large
ants here, all waiting to take a bite out of you. A little ways into the area
you'll also find a "Dead Adventurer" that you can pilfer an "Undeathly Blade"
off of, a good item to use against the ants.

Go into this area and you'll find a "Hive King" inwards. At level 6 and with
an undead weapon he isn't too hard. Be sure you have some poions and save
your justice though, as a bit further inwards is the "Hive Queen". She is
level 7 and just sits there, but don't be fooled! She hits HARD and can spawn
small ants as well! Be sure to retreat and heal before you die and use your
undead weapon to kill her!


After the fight you'll be able to return to the Big Game Hunter for your
reward. He is still not satisfied with you though, and so issues you yet
another side-quest:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Lion.                                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Big Game Hunter.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Icy Club Of Colder.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You can find the lion north of the forbidden city,   |
   | up in the northern cubby. It is surrounded by forbidden gang members.   |
   | Once you've dealth with it, go back to the big game hunter.             |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Ok, now that quest will have to wait. Go and travel to the Forbidden City now,
where you will see the mayor standing by the other half of the broken "statue
of DeathSpank". Take a photo of him here and he'll tell you to talk to the
dignitary to his right.

The deputy here will refuse to open the gate unless someone important comes
along! If you've taken all the mayor's pictures, you'll be able to convince
him to open the gate, giving you access to the city.


Go into the city and talk to the red princess.  She will want you to risk
life and limb for trivial rewards, something we'll gladly do! Take on her new
side-quest:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Prove Your Worthiness.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Red Princess.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Trinket Of Cyberflunk.                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Defeat the first 3 Forbidden Arena challenges.       |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Feel free to continue to explore the town. You'll also run into the mayor here
who will offer you another quest of questionable morales...


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Stuff Ballot Boxes.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By The Mayor.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Canvas Glove Of Punching.                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Head to the graveyard on the east end of town and    |
   | read/write down the names of the dead people. Now visit the voting      |
   | stations and vote at each of them, using the names you... borrowed.     |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


You can explore south-east of town too ("Coal Monster Alley") to find two
chests guarded by chickens, chizards, and cacti!


OK, well after exploring the town a bit, let's go ahead and do this "Stuff
Ballot Boxes quest. What you need to do is go to the graveyard on the east
end of town. There are FOUR graves there that you can read. The names are...


 o Sherkwalk Mollybarner

 o Edgar Van Hinklestink

 o Todarian Krommentoner

 o Ballamarr Higglewiggins


Ok, now that you have these names, there are FOUR voting boths scattered
around town. You need to go to each one and ask to vote. They will ask you
for your voting ballot, which we already got from the mayor. They'll then
ask you for your name, giving you a short list of names to choose from. Pick
out the name that corresponds up above to vote!


 NOTE!: I've seen this bug up before, where the voting booth worker wasn't
        standing at his booth. Try warping in and out of some outhouses to
        make him appear.


After voting at all four station, go back to the mayor and report in. He will
thank you and give you a "Key to *A* City". This key is actually the key to go
see Z.I.M.O.N., called the "Key to the Ancient Complex". This gives you a new
main quest:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Investigate Z.I.M.O.N.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By The Mayor.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progress!                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You need to continue playing the game! Z.I.M.O.N. is |
   | located in a building to the northeast of the Forbidden City, in a      |
   | building by the Forbidden Canals.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


OK, I'd like to also point out the outhouse in the north part of the town:


  o Outhouse #9: Arena Outhouse
        
       Location: In Forbidden City


OK, let's explore/do the arena area now. Head up towards it and you'll run
into the tournament master.

Also note that there are WEAPON, POTION, and FOOD vendors to the west of the
tournament master.

IMPORTANT NOTE:

At THIS point of the guide, I'd like to point out that I am making a SEPERATE
SECTION to list all of the ARENA BATTLE. That is because there are TWELVE of
them, and it is literally impossible for you to beat them all right now.


By all means, feel free to do them until you struggle. Doing the first three
that the Red Princess asks of you is easy enough, for example. If you want to
see what you can expect out of the arena, go check out that section in the
guide.

I'm still going to list the Red Princess' quests here, as if you did the
first THREE (really easy) Arena Matches, just so you know.


After the third match, can now go talk to the red princess. She will reward
you and take you as her champion, giving you the following quest to do:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Destroy Rival's Garden.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Red Princess.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Cyberflunk Helm.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go "defile" the flowers in the garden south of       |
   | the graveyard in Forbidden City. You'll have to deal with gardeners as  |
   | you proceed and the giant Sven as well. Sven is slow, so take him out   |
   | from range.                                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


To find the garden, go over to the graveyard area. A gate to the south has
been opened up. Inside is a lovely garden with a treasure cheat on the
palisade to the northeast. You'll find the roses nearby in a square dirt
patch. Go up to each one and interact with it to "defile" it. After a couple
of defilments take place, workers will come out of nowhere to attack you,
brandishing hedge clippers.

Take them out as they aren't much of a threat. The real threat here is when
you are about to defile the last rose. A giant named Sven will attack. He's
fairly slow, so poisoning him or setting him on fire (or both) is a good idea.


Once you're done return to the princess for your reward. She will have yet
another questionable task for you:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Destroy Rival's Bath Water.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Red Princess.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Antique-ish Wrist Watch.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Head up to the city dump north of town. You'll find  |
   | a giant foul beast there, that upon death drops the "foulest excrement" |
   | that you need to pick up and take back to the rival's rose garden. Now  |
   | go interact with the fountain and put the excrement in. As soon as you  |
   | do, you will be ambushed by smaller foul beasts and some flies. Kill    |
   | them all and talk to the princess for your reward.                      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


This task is easy enough, read the above strategy if you wish to do it now.
It's really... nasty, but hey we can't fail the princess!

With that task done, we are free to pursue other interests, like finding this
Z.I.M.O.N. guy... Go out the north-east end of town into the desert. Head
north when you can past the cacti and you'll see a path going west and
another going north to a camp. To the north is some forbidden gang members
as well as a FORBIDDEN LION that we need to kill for the BIG GAME HUNTERS
quest. Once you kill it, you can head back to him for another, more manly
challenge:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Dinoroo.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Big Game Hunter.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Automaton Chest.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You can find the dino north of the forbidden city,   |
   | up in the northeastern cubby. It is the only remotely challenging enemy |
   | in the area, and isn't too much of a challenge. Kill it and return its  |
   | bones to the big game hunter.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


This mark is close to where you found the lion (to the west in fact). Head
over there and kill it now. It's level 8 (barely above you), and really isn't
much of a challenge. Once you have its bones, you can take them back to the
big game hunter and recieve yet another quest:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Coal Monster.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Big Game Hunter.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Trinket of The Automaton.                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: The area you need to head to is southeast of the     |
   | Forbidden City. Head down there and you'll find the coal monster at the |
   | end. He's level 8 and is surrounded by chizards, but isn't really that  |
   | much of a challenge. His punches hurt, but you can freeze him or just   |
   | run and heal to prevail.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


If you're interested in completeing this quest now, just head to the southeast
part of the Forbidden City. He's not very hard, just see my comment about him
above. This quest ends the quest chain with the big game hunter, by the way.

To continue our MAIN quest, head out the northeast end of town and make your
way east through the desert. You'll find some chests as you go, including a
blue chest in the south and a red chest in the north. As you head east you
will reach the Forbidden Canals. Head south to find a blue chest at a deadend,
then head north to reach an outhouse:


  o Outhouse #10: West Canals Outhouse
        
        Location: In Forbidden Canals


We can't continue on, so go inspect the northern doors to continue. Inside
this computer-y space, we can find Z.I.M.O.N.! Feel free to talk to him and
he will of course ask assistance of you:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Repair Z.I.M.O.N.'s Brain.                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Z.I.M.O.N.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progress!                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This is one of those quests that you MUST do to      |
   | proceed... Check the last bit of the "Forbidden Zone" part of the guide |
   | if you are having trouble with this quest...                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Once we have that quest, continue upwards. You'll battle several orques. This
area is a bit constrictive, so be sure to use your ranged attacks when you
have to. There is an "out of order" outhouse here that you'll use if you die.
As you fight you will gain "cartridges", which you'll need soon (I got three
of them). After the fight, talk to Z.I.M.O.N. who won't let you enter without
knowing the ancient passcodes, giving you a new quest:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Open The Ancient Complex Gate.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Z.I.M.O.N.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: A gate needlessly blocking your way is lifted!                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: To complete this quest, you simply need to complete  |
   | the "Learn The South Pole Code" and "Learn The North Pole Code" quests. |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Learn The South Pole Code.                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Z.I.M.O.N.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progress!                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Complete the quest "Master Ancient Knowledge" and    |
   | talk to the South Pole Master to complete this quest as well. The code  |
   | is 3, 2, 1, by the way...                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Learn The North Pole Code.                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Z.I.M.O.N.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progress!                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Complete the quest "Kill Forbidden Dragon" and talk  |
   | to the North Pole Master to complete this quest as well... The code is  |
   | 1, 2, 3, by the way...                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


You'll have no choice but to leave the ancient complex now. With those
cartridges, you can now carry on though. Put one INTO the red machine to
lower the bridge. Cross it and put one into the next machine so you can go
south a bit. Now, here you should only have one cartridge left. Put it into
the green machine so we can go north. You'll also find an outhouse here:


  o Outhouse #11: North Canals Outhouse
        
        Location: Northern Forbidden Canals


North of the outhouse you'll fight some pips. Fun! Fight your way upwards as
the scenery changes and becomes chilly. You'll fight mountain chizards and
beasts as you go upwards. Keep following the path and keep your eyes open for
a dead adventurer on the way.


You'll soon reach the end. There's a small path leading to the right of the
screen where you can find a blue and red chest! Go back and head up north to
find an outhouse:


  o Outhouse #12: North Adept Outhouse
        
        Location: In Forbidden North Pole


Once activating it, talk to the old master here. He will tell you that to get
the northern code, you must defeat the dragon through the door behind him:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Forbidden Dragon.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Master Of The North                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progress!                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Head into the door behind the quest-giver and after  |
   | fighting through chizards and beasts you will find the dragon. He likes |
   | to spray fire and jump on you. Use a good justice attack like the       |
   | 'Rotary Saw Of Cutting'. Return to the master when you're done.         |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


You will find the dragon at the end. Take out the lower level enemies first
so you can focus mano-e-mano with the dragon. Once he falls, be sure to loot
the red chest here and then go and see the master for the North Pole code.
With the incredibly complex code in hand, head south.


Now there is a trick on how to get across to the SOUTH POLE... It took me a
bit to figure it out. Basically, you have to REMOVE the RED MACHINE CARTRIDGE
and than warp to the NORTH CANALS outhouse. Now you should go put the third
cartridge you have in the YELLOW MACHINE. This will let you get around the
bridges and fight the orques below! You'll find a FOURTH CARTRIDGE in the
blue chest here.

Now with that in hand, go put it in the BLUE MACHINE, then go up and remove
the YELLOW CARTRIDGE, then use the NORTH CANALS outhouse to warp to the WEST
CANALS outhouse. Put in the RED CARTRIDGE, then move to the GREEN machine and
take out the cartridge. Put THAT cartridge into YELLOW, and BAM, now you have
a path to the south.


As you head south, you'll pass another outhouse:


  o Outhouse #13: South Canals Outhouse
        
        Location: Southern Forbidden Canals


Head south now and take out the enemies. The blue chest here has a FIFTH
CARTRIDGE, but it's rather unneccesary at this point. Be sure to check out
the dead adventurer to the south too. Keep heading south, fighting a lone pip
on the way to find yet another outhouse to the far south:


  o Outhouse #14: South Adept Outhouse
        
        Location: Forbidden South Pole


Now talk to the Master of the South Pole. He will require a test of you before
he can give you their code:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Master Ancient Knowledge.                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Master Of The South                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progress!                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: For this quest, defer to the guide itself for the    |
   | 'logical' way. You could just beat up the masters students, if you      |
   | wanted to...                                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Basically you have to either beat the students or beat them logically. Follow
my guide below to beat the LOGICALLY. Otherwise, just way whatever you want to
get into various fights. Go talk to the student on the left and say:

 - "After one or two sword blows I think you'll concede."

   1/6 students bested....


Now go to the next student on the south and say:

 - "Upon meeting me you'll wish you retreated."

   2/6 students bested...


Now for the student a little lower and to the right. Say:

 - "You deafeat me? Please adept, get real."

   3/6 students bested...


Now for the guy a little lower on the left. Say:

 - "You defeat me? Come on, that's just dumb."

   4/6 students bested...


Now for the guy a little lower on the right. Say:

 - "Your faith in yourself is clearly misplaced."

   5/6 students bested...


Now for the last guy on the right. Say:

 - "That's no problem for me, there's an outhouse nearby."

   6/6 students bested...


Upon besting all of the students, you can now return to the master to learn
of his portion of the code: 3, 2, 1. By talking to him and learning that you
will complete the "Learn the South Pole Code" quest as well as the "Master
Ancient Knowledge" quest.


Ok, now head back to the Ancient Complex and talk to the northern Z.I.M.O.N.
face. He'll now let you through, now that you've given him the code,
completeing the "Open The Ancient Complex Gate" quest.

Move onwards and into a room with four colored circles. Here you will have
to play a game of "Simon Says"...

Here are the rounds and what colors Z.I.M.O.N. will say:


 - Round 1: Red, Blue.

 - Round 2: Yellow, Red.

 - Round 3: Blue, Green, Blue, Yellow, Blue.

 - Round 4: Red, Red, Yellow, Blue, Green, Red, Red.

 - Round 5: Green, Yellow, Green, Green, Yellow, Green, Yellow.

 - Round 6: Blue, Yellow, Green, Red, Yellow, Red, Yellow, Yellow, Red, Red,
            Green.


Upon completing this obvious rip-off of Simon Says, you will have completed
the "Repair Z.I.M.O.N.'s Brain" quest. Listen to the dialog and proceed
forwards when you can.


You'll soon see a cutscene, showing Big D completing the "Destroy Thong 1 in
Forbidden Zone" quest. Hurrah! Good job, you monster...


Continue along the path where the flames used to be and exit the cave. You
will see a blue chest to the left, so grab it. Continue on to the right to
reach the next section...



==============================================================================
                              Forest of Tomorrow                    
====================================================================[BAC03]===


Ah, tomorrow land! What a wonderful place!


Head into the area to meet Mutoe, the genetically delicious-looking famliy pet
of the Nuclear Family! You can talk to him about this area, as well as make
him give you chunks of himself to eat... yummy! It beats desert steak anyday.
If you wish, ignore his pleas for death and stock up on delicious Mutoe
chunks!

There is also an outhouse here:


  o Outhouse #15: Outhouse of Tomorrow
        
        Location: Beginning of The Forest of Tomorrow


After saying goodbye to the freak, head to the right to meet Betty Nuclear.
She will implore you to find the rest of her family and bring them back home,
adding four new main quests to our list:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Assemble the Nuclear Family.                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Betty Nuclear                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Ability to move past the Forest of Tomorrow area.              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This quest will be completed automatically when you  |
   | finish the "Bring Chastity Home", "Bring Elroy Home", and "Bring Dick   |
   | Home" quests. You can't help but finish this quest if you do those,     |
   | just go back and see Betty Nuclear.                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Bring Chastity Home.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Betty Nuclear                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progression!                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: A story-driven plot quest, you will have to find     |
   | Chastity in the far-west of this area. Chastity won't come home easily  |
   | though, so do the quest "Kill Raphael" to make her come home.           |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Bring Elroy Home.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Betty Nuclear                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progression!                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Elroy will refuse to come home until you finish the  |
   | "Get Nuclear Dog" quest. This is a required story quest, so follow the  |
   | guide and you'll be ok.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Bring Dick Home.                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Betty Nuclear                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progression!                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This is a story-driven quest, so follow the guide!   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Once you agree, she will open up the gate for you. Go ahead and head on
through. Inside you will find "trees of tomorrow", who are ranged enemies that
stay stationary, a great enemy to practice your perfect reflects on.

Fight your way inwards, taking on the trees and orques you encounter. You'll
undoubtedly find new armor and should be around level 8 right now. There is a
red chest in this beginning area as well. When you've got it and killed
everything head right. You'll fight some dinosaurs of tomorrow here, and run
into another outhouse:


  o Outhouse #16: Ima Outhouse
        
        Location: Ima's Farm


To the right of the outhouse is our old friend, Ima Applehole. Let's go see
what she has to say! Well, what do you know. Her husband Strunken is not here
and of course its up to you to reunite them. Man, this seems like deja' vu.


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Reunite Ima with Strunken.                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Ima Applehole                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nuclear Dog                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This is one of the story-driven quests. You will     |
   | get what you need to complete this quest after you do the "Get DNA      |
   | Sample" quest, which comes up a little bit later in this guide.         |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


After getting your quest, go check out the red chest to the lower right, where
you can find the second level nature weapon. Then go check out the dead end to
the left of Ima's house where you'll find a dead adventurer with some nice
gear for you.

Head north past Ima's house when you're ready to go on. There are plenty of
enemies up here to fight, I love it! You can find a blue treasure chest on the
left hand side and a red treasure chest at the top. Head left when you can to
fight some more gummi bear and reach another outhouse:


  o Outhouse #17: Dick Outhouse
        
        Location: Pleasuretorium


Walking around everywhere are a bunch of clones that DeathSpank is all too
happy to complement! Head up and enter the house above you. Well, if it isn't
Dick's Brothel. Wonderful, what an upstanding family man...


In here, talk to our old friends Lucy and Badger for the following two quests:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Prove You're a V.I.P..                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Badger                                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Access to the Champaigne Room.                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Complete the "Restock Vending Machine" quest to gain |
   | the item needed to become a VIP!                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Restock Vending Machine.                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Lucy Eisenbein                                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: VIP Pass                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: To the right of the Pleasuretorium is the Farm of    |
   | Tomorrow. Head over there to fight off the enemies and collect the 20   |
   | tobaccy plants that Lucy wants.                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Ok, head back out to the world and head left now. You'll come to a place
called the "Farm of Tomorrow". Here you'll see a new outhouse:


  o Outhouse #18: Garden Outhouse
        
        Location: Farm of Tomorrow


With that outhouse activated, go back a bit and start to clear out the fields.
You'll fight ants and overgrown tobaccy plants. These enemies can poison you
in a hurry, so watch out. The first garden on the far right has a red treasure
chest you can claim. Be sure to harvest the plants from here and up above too!
Head left of the outhouse and clean those gardens out as well, claiming a blue
treasure chest in the top field and a dead adventurer in the middle field to
the south. The very southern field houses the rest of the plants as well as
a bunch of enemies, so take them out and collect the rest of the plants.


You can go back and turn in the quest to Lucy now to get the VIP Pass. With
the VIP Pass in hand, you can complete the "You're a V.I.P." quest now, so
head into the champaigne room. Grab the red chest to the left and then talk
to Dick.

Dick will be less than pleased about the notion of going home, eventually
sicking his Tiffany-bots on you:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill The Pleasure Bots.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Dick Nuclear                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Life Itself!                                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Dick will sick his pleasure bots on you! Some area   |
   | attacks are in order here, and have a potion ready if you need it, but  |
   | this isn't a very hard fight.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Destroy the bots with some area attacks or justice weapons, keeping a potion
handy just in case. Also, when you are done fighting, be sure to grab the
SPITTOON, a handy item we'll need later. Also, go check out the VENDING
MACHINE that you stocked to grab some VENDOR TOBACCY. You couldn't quit even
if you wanted to!


With Dick back at home, head out of the house and go left. Head down the path
south of the Farm of Tomorrow to continue. You'll find another outhouse here:


  o Outhouse #19: Elroy Outhouse
        
        Location: Cloneatorium


Here you'll find Strunken! Go talk to him and he'll tell you everything he's
been up to since he left Ima! Go through his conversation options and you'll
learn he is craving some chewing tobaccy:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Strunken Some Vendor Tobaccy.                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Strunken McClure                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Full Spittoon                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: After completing the "Restock Vending Machine" quest |
   | be sure to grab some VENDOR TOBACCY. Also, be sure to grab the SPITTOON |
   | from the CHAMPAIGNE ROOM where you found Dick Nuclear. Now, offer to    |
   | give Strunken the tobaccy and you'll end up with the full spittoon...   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Well, if you've been following the guide you already have both of the items
that Strunken wants, so give it to him to get this quest out of the way. I'm
sure that the full spittoon will come in handy!


Now go ahead and talk to Elroy Nuclear. He'll refuse to come home without a
nuclear dog! He'll also mention that the cloning device next to him will not
work without cloning componetns, or cloneponents! Crazy!


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Used Clone-ponents.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Elroy Nuclear                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Ability to use CLONING machine.                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You need to go around and talk to all the horrible   |
   | cloned mistakes walking around the area. There are FOUR near Elroy and  |
   | four near the pleasuretorium where you found Dick. Speak to each of     |
   | them to totally get the OK to hack off components...                    |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Nuclear Dog.                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Elroy Nuclear                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Make Elroy go home.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: The key to getting the Nuclear Dog from IMA is to    |
   | complete the "Reunite Ima with Strunken" questline. Most of the KEY     |
   | points to THAT quest are in the "Get DNA Sample" quest, so read that to |
   | find out how to get your own replacement Strunken and please Ima.       |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Go ahead and do the "Get Used Clone-ponents" quest now as it's easy to do
since you just have to talk to all the wandering mistakes...

After getting all the clone-ponents, go talk to Elroy. He will power up the
cloning device for you, allowing you to use it IF you get some DNA:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get DNA Sample.                                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Elroy Nuclear                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: A CLONED Strunken McClure.                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: To get a DNA sample, you need to bring the REAL      |
   | Strunken McClure some VENDOR TOBACCY and a SPITTOON. You can find both  |
   | within the brothel that Dick Nuclear was in after finishing all the     |
   | quests to make him go home.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Well, if you've been following this guide, you'll already HAVE a FULL SPITTOON
ready to use. If not, read above and go get those ingrediants, then give them
to Strunken. Go ahead and use the FULL SPITTOON on the cloning device to make
yourself your own copy of Strunken.


Now head eastward from Elroy where you'll find a bridge lever that takes you
back to Ima's farm. Go talk to Ima and she'll accept the facimile Strunken,
giving you her Nuclear Dog in return. This of course completes the "Reunite
Ima with Strunken" quest.


With the Nuclear Dog in tow, return to Elroy and go ahead and give it to him.
This will not only complete the "Get Nuclear Dog" quest, but the "Bring Elroy
Home" quest as well! Two birds with one stone!


Now that we are done with Elroy and HIS area, travel down the path to the
southwest to continue onwards. You will find more enemies here including
clone rejects, dinosaurs, and more poison spitters. You'll run into rock
candy monsters as well. Along the main path is a dead adventurer as well,
with some new armor for you. There's also a blue and red chest to the right
of the adventurer, with some justice in it for you.


Continue down the path to fight some more. There's a BIG "cotton candy"
monster here too. Now the path splits a bit here, with an upper path and a
lower path. Explore both, but note the upper path has a BLUE and RED treasure
chests for you to grab. Further on, there is a food vendor and then another
outhouse:


  o Outhouse #20: Chastity Outhouse
        
        Location: The Love Valley


Now go past the bridge. Be sure to visit the little path to the north for a
red treasure chest. You'll have to fight off some jilted lovers, though. Keep
pressing forward into this area where you'll fight all sorts of boyfriends and
love monsters. Some of these are suicide-type monsters, so be ready. Also
note the blue chest on your trek towards Chastity.


You'll soon be in the love fields, which is an open area just full of all the
same types of enemies you've been fighting. Be sure to grab the red chest in
this area (on the right) and then proceed to clear out the fields violently.
Talk to the Nuclear Daughter when you're done.


DeathSpank will try to convince her to come home, but of course no one ever
wants to do things the easy way...


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Raphael.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Chastity Nuclear                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: You get to send Chastity home.                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Well you pretty much just need to kill Raphael to    |
   | complete this quest, which isn't a HARD task... For example you COULD   |
   | just reflect all of his fireballs back at him (all he does is shoot     |
   | fireballs anyway). Have some potions handy and take him out.            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


After defeating Chastity's "lover", go talk to her again and she'll head off
towards home, completing the "Bring Chastity Home" quest.


Now, with all the family gathered together at home go talk to Betty Nuclear.
You will now complete the "Assemble the Nuclear Family" quest. Sweet!

Follow the path and soon you'll come to a bacon fire! Perfect!


Watch the cutscene as DeathSpank gets rid of yet another thong and completes
the "Destroy Thong 2 in Forest of Tomorrow" quest. Notice how the scene is
pretty much an exact copy of the last one...


After the scene press onwards to reach the next area.




==============================================================================
                                 Rainbow's End                  
====================================================================[BAC04]===



Head up the path and you'll soon find an outhouse:


  o Outhouse #21: Rainbow's End Outhouse
        
        Location: The Beginning of Rainbow's End


Head up the path to fight some orques. You'll see a split in the path, and if
you look at the map, one route goes down and another goes up, meeting together
to head to the east. The upper path has a blue treasure chest you can grab,
and the lower path has a dead adventurer. Continue east once you have both
of those.

You'll now have to fight against a bunch of leprechaun mobsters and gamblers.
Take your time and use the barrels here. There is another red chest along the
path, so be sure to grab it while you explore what little there is to explore.
The path will wrap around to Rainbow's End proper, giving you another outhouse
as we go:


  o Outhouse #22: Casino Outhouse
        
        Location: Rainbow's End


Head north now and you'll meet another close friend: Freen! He'll have gambled
his felt business away, and needs you to help him!


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Collect Casino Felt.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Freen                                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Being a Hero!?                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: To get Freen's felt, we're going to have to enter    |
   | the casion north of him. Inside is a WHOLE BUNCH of leprechauns to kill |
   | and gambling tables to break. Each table drops a piece of casino felt.  |
   | Collect 14 of them and return to Freen.                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Well... ok, I guess we can help.

This wide-open area has two groups of baddies on each side. Go clear our the
left side of the area and you'll find a blue treasure chest. Now heal up and
clear out the right side of the area to find a red treasure chest.

Ok, with that done, go ahead and enter the casino north of you.

In here, you will have to fight more leprechaun criminals, as well as dealers
and enforcers. This entire area goes north to a split, with paths to the east,
north, and west. Your entire goal in here is to wipe out the leprechauns,
then to hit certain tables which will drop CASINO FELT for you! There are at
least 20 tables in here with the felt, and you only need fourteen so go
crazy.


You may have also noticed that each path to the left and right houses a door
leading down to a dungeon. The "Slot's Dungeon" on the right has some enemies,
but we're going there in a bit anyways. The left path has the "Kingly Dungeon"
but there's nothing there right now.


Go talk to the Mob Boss up the northern path at some point though. He will
tell you of a bacon fire in the room past him, but only entertainers are
allowed in there. And of course since we can't just kill him, he have some
new quests to do:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Fix Slot Machines.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Mob Boss                                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Good graces with the mob?                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This one is fairly easy, just head over to the       |
   | "Slots Dungeon" on the right and head down. Now USE the dice on each    |
   | of the machines to "fix" them. As you fix the machines, slot jockeys    |
   | will show up to stop you. One big one will show up after machine #6,    |
   | so keep some potions ready for her and you'll be ok.                    |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Entertainer Disguise.                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Mob Boss                                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Kingly Gloves, Kingly Boots, Kingly Shoulders, Kingly Chest,   |
   |          Kingly Glasses.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Once you do the "Mine for Blarney Stones" quest and  |
   | the "Get Outfit Material" quest, Freen will deliver all of the above    |
   | items to you. Nice!                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Well, I guess we can do him a few favors. One of these is a "Fix Slot
Machines" quest, which is easy enough to go do right now by going to the slots
dungeon on the right. The slot jockeys there are pretty easy, but beware of
the GIGANTIC one that shows up when you "fix" the sixth machind. Also note
that to fix the machines you have to USE the dice on them.


If you go turn in the slot machine quest now, you'll get another one from the
mob boss, who is now going by the name "The Godfather":


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Intimidate Monks.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Mob Boss                                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Ice Pick                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: The Mob Boss will ask you to attach a homing device  |
   | to a nearby anti-gambling monk tour bus. That's legal, right? Anyway,   |
   | the tour bus is southeast of the casion. You'll have to fight your way  |
   | through monks and nuns to get there, but once you kill them all put     |
   | device on the bus. Go return to the Mob Boss to complete the quest.     |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Ok, now we want to return to Freen and give him the casion felt we LIBERATED
for him. His felt business will be saved! Since we know about the outfit that
we need, we can ask Freen to help us with it. Of course, that naturally means
more quests:

   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Mine for Blarney Stones.                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Freen                                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progression!                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: First, you'll need the Ice Pick that is a reward     |
   | from the "Intimidate Monks" quest. After that, enter the cave to the    |
   | south-east of town and hit the blarney stones there with the pick.      |
   | You'll need to traverse the entire mine gathering stones, but there is  |
   | more stones there than you need so you should be ok.                    |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Outfit Material.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Freen                                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progression!                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: After getting this quest, "Kingsly Impersonator's"   |
   | will now inhabit the Kingsly Dungeon. Go kill all of them and take      |
   | their clothing, Mr. "Good Guy".                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Ok, now with those quests in hand, head to the "Last Chance Tours" area. As
you do, you will be ambushed by a ton of monks and nuns. Go ahead and take
them out... doesn't that feel good?

Be sure to attach the lucky charm you got from the mob boss to the bus while
you are at it. Also, be sure to grab the red treasure chest nearby. This will
complete the "Intimidate Monks" quest by the way. Go back and turn this quest
in to the Mob Boss now.

He will reward you with an ICE PICK, which we needed for "Blarney Stones"
quest, so that's good! There's also an entertaining cutscene that plays
showing DeathSpanks new life in the mob...


Head back out and go down towards the "Blarney's Rock" location, past what
used to be the monk infested area. On the way you'll see a weapon vendor as
well as an engineer. Before talking to the engineer, go kill the monster
below him.

After that talk to the engineer to hear that the miners are all trapped in
the mines. He'll give you some TNT and ask you to free them, as he's pretty
lazy...


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Free Miners.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Engineer                                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: A path to the mines.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This MAY be the easiest quest yet. Kill the monster  |
   | below the engineer before taking the quest, then walk around to the     |
   | mine blockage to your right and USE the TNT on it. KABOOM!              |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Well, this quest is just plain SILLY easy...


After defeating that pesky rock, go talk to the mine engineer again. Go
through all of his conversation options and you'll undoubtedly get a new
quest:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Wumpas.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Engineer                                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: World Smasher The Bester.                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: There are FOUR Wumpas in the mines that need killed. |
   | They are at the very back of the mine and hit HARD, so come prepared    |
   | and remember to divide and conquer (that and hit-and-run!).             |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


OK, good to know! With that, head into the mines.


Well, talk to the miners and you'll learn they WANTED to be trapped. You just
screwed up their break! Good job. Ok, one of our major goals here is to
collect BLARNEY STONES! Now, you must have the ICE PICK equipped that you got
from the MOB BOSS, so do so now if you haven't.

From the mines start, get the blarney stone to the south, then to around using
the left path to get more stones and kill all the leprechauns and donkeys that
you meet. At the end, use the detonator to continue.


Head right now and continue on until you see the path split again. Go RIGHT
this time and fight your way past the donkies to hit another detonator. Be
sure to go LEFT past the bridge you just made so you can kill all of the
enemies and collect all of the BLARNEY STONES! Go back and head right once
you've done that.


Keep following the path until it splits again. Go upwards this time and fight
past the mass of enemies for a red chest and blarney stone. Head south after
that and use the bridge controls to lower the drawbridge to continue.

The FOUR Wumpa's that you are supposed to kill are down here. There's also
some bad luck slime enemies here too. The wumpas hit HARD, so have your
potions ready and try to divide and conquer to overcome them (hit and run
tactics are pretty much REQUIRED here if you're playing solo...).

However it's all worth it, as the section to the right has 5-6 BLARNEY STONES
and a blue chest as well. This cave has more blarney stones than you need, so
you shouldn't have a single problem with that quest.


Once you're done in the mines, head back out the way you came and talk to
the engineer to turn in your "Kill Wumpas" quest. He'll reward you for it,
as promised.


You can also go give the BLARNEY STONES you collected to FREEN now if you
want, but we have to go do another quest for him too so it's up to you. Either
way, head back into the casino and enter the KINGLY DUNGEON. Notice that now
that you are a "Made Man" in the Leprechaun Mafia, the Leprechauns in the
casino don't attack you anymore.


Once you get to the Kingly Dungeon, you'll have TWELVE Kingly impersonator's
attacking you. Area attacks are best here, especially JUSTICE weapons. That
and a few potions will do wonders.


After getting all the outfit pieces, return to Freen, who will fashion you a
suit and FIVE new armor pieces will be yours! COOL! Now that you have a fancy
new suit, go talk to the Mob Boss inside of the casino. With your fancy new
entertainer's suit, you'll be allowed onto the Ultimate Opera Chapionship
stage for a boss fight:

Note: Be sure to have some food and potions handy, and be ready for a
      prolonged battle.


 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
 | Boss Battle -                 Conductorque                 - Boss Battle |
 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Ah, the Conductorque. This battle will start out with a spotlight      |
 |   coming on stage. Do NOT stand in the light, as it will hurt you. You   |
 |   will then fight a free-for-all against some minor enemies until the    |
 |   Condcutorque comes out.                                                |
 |                                                                          |
 |   The first thing you should know is that he really only has two         |
 |   attacks: a ligtning attack that he does from range and a melee attack  |
 |   for when you get close to him. He's level 13, and his melee hit does   |
 |   hurt, so we want to stay away (I find that his lightning attack        |
 |   doesn't really hurt that bad). SO, what I like to do is unleash        |
 |   charged range attacks at him while keeping my distance. I also used    |
 |   a ranged JUSTICE weapon as well. You could also put down some          |
 |   invulnerability orbs and do melee if you wish.                         |
 |                                                                          |
 |   As the Conductorque takes damage, he will stop and summon musicians    |
 |   onto the stage. These musicians will play music as he conduct, which   |
 |   will heal him, but only if you let the musicians live! They will fall  |
 |   easily, so quickly take them out! As the battle wears on, a second     |
 |   spotlight will come on stage as well. With a good ranged strategy and  |
 |   a stock of potions and food, you should emerge the victor in this      |
 |   battle.                                                                |
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+


After the fight, enter the cave to the north. You'll find another bacon fire
of course, leading to another cutscene (another cutscene that is EXACTLY the
same as before...).


Progress onwards to reach the next section.


==============================================================================
                                 Barnacle Lake                    
====================================================================[BAC05]===


As soon as you head into this area, you'll see an outhouse:


  o Outhouse #23: Toxic Outhouse
        
        Location: Beginning of Barnacle Lake


Past the outhouse are some flies to kill and a dead adventurer with some new
armor on him. Head up through this area (there's little more than flies here)
but keep your eyes open for a red treasure chest on the left-side. Soon
enough you'll run into another friend of DeathSpanks: Captain Taint!

The good captain will be infected with a barnacle monster, which has pretty
much made him its slave. It will ask you to rescue Mother Barnacle from the
orc-fortress, as well as spread barnacle spore. You'll need to fetch an
overripe fruit to blast the doors open, though. Be sure to keep talking to
the captain afterwards, as he'll give you his BROKEN ship keys that we'll
also need to repair. After all of that you should have these quests:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Unlock Ship.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Captain Taint                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: A path to the mines.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This MAY be the easiest quest yet. Kill the monster  |
   | below the engineer before taking the quest, then walk around to the     |
   | mine blockage to your right and USE the TNT on it. KABOOM!              |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Distribute Barnacle Spores.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Captain Taint                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Making well keepers do what you want...                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This quest really goes hand-in-hand with the 'Get    |
   | Overripe Fruit' quest. Just throw spores into every well as you do that |
   | quest (which you'll need to anyways).                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Overripe Fruit.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Captain Taint                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: An explosive piece of fruit!                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This is a plot-driven quest. Basically you need to   |
   | visit the 'Wellspring Island' and get the bucket from the well keeper,  |
   | then the 'Talking Stick Island' to get the stick from that well keeper  |
   | and finally the 'Overripe Fruit Island' to get the fruit. Consulte the  |
   | guide for more details.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Save The Mother Barnacle.                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Captain Taint                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Access to a bacon fire!                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This is of course a plot quest. Focus on the "Get    |
   | Overripe Fruit" quest so you can take on Cyborque Fortress, where you   |
   | will save the Mother Barnacle.                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Notice you'll have the 'Broken Ship Key' as well as an 'Insurance Policy'. You
can combine the two in your items if you wish. After that, head northeast
where you can find a food vendor and an outhouse:


  o Outhouse #24: Barnacle Lake Outhouse
        
        Location: Near Captain Taint/Barnacle Lake


From there head southeast and you'll find a potion shop. You'll also find a
tourist with a quest:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Take Photo.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tourist                                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Tourist Photo.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Just equip the camera the tourist gives you and      |
   | snap a pic!                                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


OK... well this is an easy quest... take the pic now and talk to him again.
You'll get a picture of course (check out the decription in the inventory) and
another quest:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Mail Post Card.                                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tourist                                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gloves Of Pressurized Violence, Canoodian Money.               |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Travel a bit north to the Post Master and buy the    |
   | 'Stamp Replicator' she sells. Use it on the photo. Now put the Post     |
   | Card in the mailbox on the left. Talk to the tourist when you are done. |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Well, I suppose we can mail a post card, why not! Head back to the path split
and go northeast. Up here there is a red treasure chest at the very north by
'Club Barnacle', so grab that and speak to the postmaster.

As she'll tell you, she sucks at her job, thus explaining the piled-up mail.
She'll ask YOU to deliver it, handing you SIX mail bags to deliver to the mail
boxes around the island. She doesn't even care what order you put them in!
She will also sell you a stamp replicator for the Canoodian Money that the
tourist gave you. Here's the quest you got from her:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Deliver Mail.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Post Master                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Watch Of Mollusks.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Deliver the mail for the post lady. The mailboxes    |
   | can be found in the following locations:                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | o Right next to the Post Master.                                        |
   | o Alien Vacation Island.                                                |
   | o Wellspring Island.                                                    |
   | o McLucky Isle.                                                         |
   | o Talking Stick Island.                                                 |
   | o Overripe Fruit Island.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


OK, now go into your inventory and combine the 'Stamp Replicator' with the
Tourist Photo and the Un-stamped Insurance Policy. You'll have them both
ready to ship out now!

Now go to the mailbox a little to your left. Throw in the Stamped Insurance
Policy and you'll recieve the fixed ship keys! Hot damn! Also, throw in the
Post Card and a Bag of Mail (1/6 Done).


Head back down to the tourist to get your reward for mailing out the post
card, then head back to Captain Taint's ship. With the ship keys in hand, you
are now able to sail around Barnacle Lake!

There are a LOT of places you can check out here, but I'm going to visit them
and write about them in the order below:


 ~.- Alien Vacation Island -.~


Here you will find an outhouse:


  o Outhouse #25: Alien Vacation Island Outhouse
        
        Location: Alien Vacation Island


Head up the island from the dock and you'll fight more red aliens, naturally.
There is a dead adventurer to the north ("Trespassers will be probed!"). Keep
fighting inwards to find another old friend: The Navy Captain! He'll ask you
to find his missing crew!


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Find Missing Crew.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Navy Captain                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Great Sword.                                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You'll find cages with Seamen in them as you explore |
   | the islands. Free them all and talk to the Navy Captain. Here are their |
   | locations:                                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | o Itsy Bitsy Island.                                                    |
   | o McLucky Isle (TWO of them are here).                                  |
   | o Tiny Island.                                                          |
   | o Teeny Island.                                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


There is also a mailbox to his immediate right (2/6 Done). Head south from
there to find a red treasure chest on a beach, then return to your ship.


From here, I like to sail east to Wellspring Island.


 ~.- Wellspring Island -.~


You'll find an outhouse here as well:


  o Outhouse #26: Wellspring Island Outhouse
        
        Location: Wellspring Island


From here fight your way into the island. There's shamans here as you go on
so take them out first. At the end of the path you'll find another mailbox
(3/6 Done) as well as a cave entrance! Head on inside.


Here you can open a red treasure chest and talk to the deranged well keeper.
He will demand your death, so you'll have to kill him. He drops a well bucket
when he dies. Now, use the well bucket with the well on the right to fill it
up, then put the barnacle spores into the bucket and use it again on the well!
Presto, one infected well down, two to go! Go head back to your ship now.


From here, sail south to the Itsy Bitsy Island.



 ~.- Itsy Bitsy Island -.~


The only thing here is a caged seaman. Unlock him and he'll run to your ship.
You have FOUR more seaman to free!


From here, sail west to McLucky Isle.



 ~.- McLucky Isle -.~


Here you'll find an outhouse right away:


  o Outhouse #27: Charmed Island Outhouse
        
        Location: McLucky Isle


There are a lot of female leprechauns here for you to fell. Once you are
done with the felling, go put some mail in the mailbox in the middle of the
island (4/6 Done) and grab the blue chest in the south.

Now all that's left to do is free the TWO SEAMEN on this island, leaving you
with TWO seamen left!


From here go visit the Tiny Island to the north of Alien Vacation Island.


 ~.- Tiny Island -.~


The only thing of note here is another SEAMEN waiting to be rescured, leaving
you with only ONE remaining.


From here, head northwest to the Talking Stick Island.


 ~.- Talking Stick Island -.~


Here you'll find an outhouse right away:


  o Outhouse #28: Talking Stick Island Outhouse
        
        Location: Talking Stick Island


Head to the left first to find a dead adventurer past the turtles. Now up
ahead you will find "Drowned" enemies, meaning that they are DEAD. So use your
nature weapons/bolts to take them out. There are a LOT of archers in this area
too, so deflecting shots is perfect if you're good at it (like Thnikaman).

Be sure to check out the island throughoughly as you progress as you can find
two red treasure chests on the left-hand side. At the top of the island you
will find another mailbox, so drop off some more mail (5/6 Done). There's also
a cave here, so head inside.


Inside the cave you'll find the second well-guarder. He holds the fabled
Talking Stick that we've heard so much about! He'll refuse to let us go near
the well, or to even let us hold the talking stick! However, there is an empty
glass beside him and years of talking have left him parched.

Go fill the glass with the barnacle-water that we've been carrying around
since Wellspring Island. THEN go tell the guy to drink his glass. He'll drink
it, which makes a barnacle take over. Now you can have the barnacle give you
the talking stick.

Now, go throw a barnacle spore into the well. Fill up the well bucket while
you're at it; I like to keep it full. Be sure to grab the red treasure chest
down by the well, too! Head back to your ship when you're done.


Now we're going to visit the Teeny Island to the west of our current location.



 ~.- Teeny Island -.~


Here you can find the LAST Seamen and rescue him. With all the seamen found,
you can go back to the start of the Alien Vacation Island to talk to the Navy
Captain and get your reward.


When you're done, go check out the Overripe Fruit Island.



 ~.- Overripe Fruit Island -.~


Here you'll find an outhouse right away:


  o Outhouse #29: Overripe Fruit Island Outhouse
        
        Location: Overripe Fruit Island


Head upwards, slaughtering the island inhabitants. There is a dead adventurer
on the way up, on the left-hand side, so be sure to loot him. At the top of
the area is the last mailbox, so deliver the mail (6/6 Done). Now enter the
cave here.


You'll notice a sign here saying the keeper has taken an oath of silence.
Wonderful. Good thing we have that talking stick, right? Go down and talk to
the well keeper. You'll get a quest from his "...'s" as well:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Bring Talking Stick.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Well Keeper                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: The ability to talk to the third well keeper.                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: If you've been following the guide, you'll have it   |
   | already. If not, you need to get the bucket from the 'Wellspring Island'|
   | well keeper, then use it with barnacle spores to give water to the      |
   | 'Talking Stick Island' well keeper, which well net you the stick.       |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Well, if you're following the guide, go ahead and give it to him! If not, read
what you have to do above. Now that he can talk, run through his conversation
options to find out the following:

He REFUSES to ever give you the overripe fruit.

He has a statue to the north that he's zealous about keeping clean.

He's now afraid of his tight vocal cords, thanks to you.


OK, now tell him you think his statue is dirty. He'll run off to go dust it.
Use this time to grab the red chest to the right and to throw a barnacle spore
into the well. When he comes back, mention drinking the water to him and
he'll go off to drink it, turning him into a barnacle slave. You can now just
ask for the fruit again and its yours! This completes the "Get Overripe Fruit"
quest as well as "Distribute Barnacle Spores" quest.


You can go turn in the "Deliver Mail" quest as well. Now all we really have to
do is go visit Cyborque Island/Fortress.



 ~.- Cyborque Fortress -.~


You'll run into another outhouse here:


  o Outhouse #30: Cyborque Beach Outhouse
        
        Location: Cyborque Fortress


This island houses your typical orque enemies. Be sure to explore the left
side of it for the red treasure chest, then head right to the laser gate. Here
you can use your overripe fruit to knock the laser gate down. An explosion of
flavor!


Inside you'll find another outhouse:


  o Outhouse #31: Cyborque Camp Outhouse
        
        Location: Cyborque Fortress


Head to the right killing foes and you'll make your way higher up the
fortress. There's a chest up here as well. Now fight your way to the left,
being carefull of the medics and archers above you. You'll get even higher
where you can find a halfway-hidden chest on the left.

Go right from there and clear out the rest of the foes. You'll eventually
wipe them all out and find the Mother Barnacle at the very top. Go ahead and
talk to her to complete the "Save The Mother Barnacle" quest. I don't see how
she's safe if she doesn't LEAVE THE FORTRESS, but oh well...

Talking to her and she'll open her mouth, letting you pass and giving you
access to the bacon fire beyond her.

As usual you'll see a scene where DeathSpank destroys yet another thong.

Hurrah!

Proceed forward past the fires and you'll eventually reach a small elevator.
Ride it up to reach the next area.



==============================================================================
                                Valhalla Heights                   
====================================================================[BAC06]===


Head into this very-nice looking area until you discover the newest outhouse:


  o Outhouse #32: Valhalla Heights Outhouse
        
        Location: Valhalla Heights


Next to the outhouse is the Sheriff of the Gods, and a MURDER has been
committed. Since the God of Orphans was killed via a lightning bolt in the
back, only two people could have done it: Zeus or Thor.



   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Investigate Zeus.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Sheriff of the Gods                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Assurance Zeus is not a murderer.                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Just talk to Zeus. You'll have to complete the       |
   | 'Sneak Past Bearabus" quest to do so though.                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Investigate Thor.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Sheriff of the Gods                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Assurance Thor is not a murderer.                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You'll have to go out of your way to even get to     |
   | Thor. There's too many quests to list, just follow the guide for this   |
   | one.                                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Well, sounds like we have more JUSTICING TO DO!

From the middle statue, you can head southeast to find a bunch of goats to
kill if you wish. They guard a red treasure chest. To the left is "Hel's Half
Acre", but it is gated off for now.


Now try to go to Zeus' estate, to the northwest of the big statue. You'll be
chased off by the 'Bearabus', who you apparently need to sneak past as he is
sleeping. There is a dead adventurer here too, so loot his corpse. This
Bearabus situation gives us a new quest:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Sneak Past Bearabus.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By Trying to go to Zeus' Estate.                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Access to Zeus.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This one is simple, just go to the Library to the    |
   | east of the statue and hit the alarm. This will get you 'shushed'. Now  |
   | quickly run past the Bearabus.                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


This quest is pretty easy, just read how to do it above. You should grab the
red treasure chest as well, then proceed upwards. There is a red chest to the
left up here, as well as another outhouse:


  o Outhouse #33: Zeus Outhouse
        
        Location: Zeus' Estate


Now talk to the elderly Zeus. He'll tell you why he couldn't have done it:
he can't generate lightning without medical assistance! He's also really old!
This actually completes the "Investigate Zeus" quest. He'll tell you that you
need a membership card to go to the Par 4-Ever golf course to talk to Thor and
he'll give you one. He really doesn't give you anything, by the way.

We can also talk to Zeus as he has several jobs he needs done:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: First Labor.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Zeus                                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Godlike Trinket.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Kill the hedges slightly to the northwest of Zeus.   |
   | You can pretty much pick these things off from a range. Kill all 14 of  |
   | them and you're done.                                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


This quest is easy as pie. Go ahead and do it and Zeus will give you the
following quest to do:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Second Labor.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Zeus                                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Ultimate Electric Rifle.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This one is a little tricky. North of Zeus are some  |
   | thistles that you can't do anything to. What you NEED to do is go aggro |
   | the goats southeast of the central statue and lead them back to the     |
   | thistles. Let the goats eat all of them, then kill the goats.           |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


This quest is also really easy. Go do is and turn it in. Now talk to Zeus
again for the following quest. I LOVED the dialog here, by the way!


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Twelfth Labor.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Zeus                                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Orphan Gun.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You'll find the Bearabus in Hel's Half Acre, near    |
   | the 'Smelly Outhouse'. Go get 'em!                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Well, we can't do this one right now, so go back to the statue and head
northeast. You'll run into our buddy Rich Cabins! He's a god now and renting
out property to other gods!

Never satisfied, he'll want you to help him evict certain gods from their
homes. Sounds super!


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Evict Ganesha.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Rich Cabins                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Godlike Shoulders.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go harvest the peanuts to the west of the Pro Shop.  |
   | Now equip them and lay down a trail of peanuts and Ganesha will follow. |
   | Lead him out of his yard.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Well, we can't do this one right now either, so head northeast across the
bridge. There are two more estates on the right that you can't access now (no
doubt more evictions for Rich Cabins). Head upwards to find the Par 4-Evar
club. There's an outhouse here as well:


  o Outhouse #34: Country Club Outhouse
        
        Location: Par 4-Ever


Okay, from here head to the right and you'll see a food vendor. Past him are
three 'peanut trees'. Go ahead and harvest all of the peanuts. You may as well
explore the rest of the eastern path to find the weapon and potion shops, as
well as the Pro Shop at the end. There is an outhouse here as well:


  o Outhouse #35: Pro Shop Outhouse
        
        Location: Pro Shop


Ok, now that we have those peanuts, we can go do the "Evict Ganesha" quest
now. To do it, simply lay a trail of peanuts out for him and he'll leave.
You can now talk to Rich Cabins for another quest:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Evict Anansi.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Rich Cabins                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Godlike Head.                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This one is pretty easy. To get rid of the Bill      |
   | Cosby spider, go visit the Pro Shop. In the Pro Shop buy a bug bomb and |
   | then go use it near Anansi to drive him out.                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Well, this one is easy enough. Go do it now if you wish (read above to see
the trick to it), and you'll get a new quest from Rich Cabins:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Evict "The King".                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Rich Cabins                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Game Ending Necks.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: To do this quest, you need access to Hel's Half Acre |
   | where you can find the draft papers in a mailbox admist the trailer     |
   | park. Now, make sure you got the pen that was sitting by Derek Oil and  |
   | go see The King. Ask for an autograph, give him your pen, and then have |
   | him autograph the draft notice. Talk to him afterwards, showing him     |
   | that he has to leave to do to war.                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


We can't go do this one right now though, so head north past Rich Cabins and
into the Country Club.

Here you will meet another acquaintance: Derek Oil. He too is a god now, and
started up this country club. Since we've worked for Zeus already, we'll
automatically complete the quest he had for us and open up the gate on the
right. Here's the quest anyways, just in case you need it:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Country Club Reference.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Derek Oil.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gain access to Country Club.                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You'll get this once you complete the "Investigate   |
   | Zeus" quest, so go do that one already!                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


With access to the Country Club, Derek will lay some more quests on us. There
are SEVEN new quests to do here, so since I'm listing them all, scroll past
them to avoid BLOCKS of quests. Fair warning!


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Godly Golf Club.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Derek Oil.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: A godly golf club, duh!                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go visit Vulcan in the Pro Shop and do the 'Get Golf |
   | Club Parts' and 'Get Lightning Bolt' quests he gives you.               |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Golfer Gloves.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Derek Oil.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gain access to Golf Course.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go kill the orques in the caddies area through the   |
   | middle door of the Country Club. One of them WILL drop this piece.      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Golfer Boots.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Derek Oil.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gain access to Golf Course.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go kill the orques in the caddies area through the   |
   | middle door of the Country Club. One of them WILL drop this piece.      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Golfer Shoulders.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Derek Oil.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gain access to Golf Course.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go kill the orques in the caddies area through the   |
   | middle door of the Country Club. One of them WILL drop this piece.      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get a Golfer Hat.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Derek Oil.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gain access to Golf Course.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go kill the orques in the caddies area through the   |
   | middle door of the Country Club. One of them WILL drop this piece.      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get a Golfer Shirt.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Derek Oil.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gain access to Golf Course.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go kill the orques in the caddies area through the   |
   | middle door of the Country Club. One of them WILL drop this piece.      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Dress Like a Golfer.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Derek Oil.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gain access to Golf Course.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Complete all of the "Get Golfer..." quests to finish |
   | this quest. You have to be level 18 to wear the suit, so get there,     |
   | equip the suit, and talk to Derek Oil.                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Sheesh, that's a lot of quests!

Go pick up the pen to the right of Derek, as well as open the red chest to the
right as well. We can't get onto the golf course right now (it's the door on
the right that is locked), but we CAN go get all of the golf clothing.

To go get all of the golf clothing, simply enter the middle door. This takes
you to the 'Caddies Area'. Now, all the caddies are simply orques, so kill
every one of them you find in this smallish area until you get ALL FIVE
pieces of golf clothing to drop! There are two chests in this area as well,
so be sure you grab them!


Note that the golf equipment requires you to be level 18 to wear it, so unless
you've been picking Eubricks cards you may need to level up a bit!


With all of that out of the way, we need to focus on the "Get a Golf Club"
quest. Head on over to the Pro Shop where Vulcan will have a quest for you:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Golf Club Parts.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Vulcan                                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: The start of a legendary golf club.                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Another collecting quest. Leave the Pro club and run |
   | left to the Country Club. On the way, you'll see TWO statues with golf  |
   | clubs in them, so raid them for those two golf clubs. Now, warp to the  |
   | main statue area. To the left of the outhouse is another statue with a  |
   | single club, while the MAIN statue has SEVEN clubs. Return to Vulcan.   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


This one is easy enough to complete now, so go ahead and do it. Return to
Vulcan with the parts and he'll have ANOTHER quest ready for you:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Lightning Bolt.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Vulcan                                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: The finish of a legendary golf club.                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This one is really easy, just go visit the murdered  |
   | orphan god and take THAT lightning bolt, then return it to Vulcan.      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


This one is really easy to, just go steal the murdered guy's lightning. Go
back to Vulcan to get the golf club made, a nice melee weapon! Now with that
in hand, go see Derek Oil who will let you out on the golf course finally.


Head on out to the links where you'll find a new outhouse:


  o Outhouse #36: Par 4-Ever Outhouse
        
        Location: Par 4-Ever Golf Course


This golf course is infested with orques and sand trap enemies that will try
to inflict nature damage on you so be really careful about standing still for
too long. Fight your way to the back 9 where you will meet Thor.


Thor will insist that he couldn't have killed the orphan god, as he turned his
hammer into a putter ages ago. He'll suggest you go see if the sheriff has any
other leads, adding a new quest to your que:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Return to the Sheriff.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Thor                                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Sweet Plot Progression.                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Um... Have you tried returning to the sheriff?       |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


He'll also have another quest for you:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Surrur Giants.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Thor                                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gold Treasure Chest Key.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: The giants are found in Hel's Half Acre, near the    |
   | 'Devil's Putt Putt'. Take them all out and return to Thor.              |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


We can't do this one now either, so do the "Return to the Sheriff" quest for
now. But first, note the outhouse by Thor:


  o Outhouse #37: Thor Outhouse
        
        Location: Right by Thor


The Sheriff will surmise that the Midgard Serpent is the one responsible since
Thor and Zeus both have alibi's. Upon hearing this, DeathSpank throws a match
on the body, leading a trail right into Hades. This gives us a new quest:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Investigate Hades.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Sheriff of the Gods                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Assurance that Hades isn't a murderer.                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You'll get this naturally by advancing through Hel's |
   | Half Acre.                                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Alright, a new area! Follow the fire and you'll soon run into another
outhouse:


  o Outhouse #38: Follow The Clues Outhouse
        
        Location: Hels Half Acres


Keep heading down into the pit of Hel and you'll end up fighting a bunch of
little demons with some bigger demons thrown in. Charged-up ranged shots do
well here. Fight on until you reach another outhouse aways down the path:


  o Outhouse #39: Smelly Outhouse
        
        Location: Aways inside Hels Half Acres


You'll soon run into the Bearabus, by the way! Kill him and use the nearby
outhouse to return to Zeus to complete the "Twelfth Labor" quest. You'll see
a pretty cool scene and get a trophy as well! Cool!

Keep going down the Hel's Half Acre path. You'll reach the 'Dragon Nest' area
if you stick to the south, where you can kill the "Immoralish Fafnir" (what a
hilarious name!). Fight your way towards the 'Devil's Putt Putt' now so we can
kill those giants for Thor. You can find a dead adventurer along the path as
well, plus it's GREAT experience.


Keep fighting through Hel's Half Acre and you'll soon be killing demons and
skeletons in a traier-park background. This is THEIR retirement! There's a
red chest to be found here towards the east BEFORE the trailer parks, as well
as a dead adventurer a little ways north from there. To the west is a mailbox
where you can find some 'Unsigned Draft Papers'. With these, we can finally
finish the "Evict The King" quest, so go do that if you want (get him to sign
the papers).

Keep fighting onwards and you'll soon reach the god of the underworld himself:
Hades! Hades will be trapped in a cage here and will ask you to help him out,
giving you this quest:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Free Hades.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Hades                                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progression!                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: To free Hades, you'll have to kill enemies in front  |
   | of him. And 'In front of him" actually means "Kill enemies within the   |
   | sacrificial circle. Now the enemies will keep spawning until you kill   |
   | 20 of them in the circle, so keep some potions on hand and use area     |
   | Justice attacks to help yourself out.                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


After doing this quest, Hades will have enough power to free himself! You can
now talk to him, learning that Thruston is up to some evil plan. Well, the
pathway is now open at least. Be sure to check out the outhouse on the right
as well:


  o Outhouse #40: Hades Outhouse
        
        Location: Right by Hades


It's right around this time that I got level 20, just so you know. If you got
it too, level 20 is a perfect time to go back and finish the arena challenges.
I did level 17-20 pretty darn easy solo, but if you go co-op it should be even
easier.


Oh, we'll also get a new main quest after freeing Hades:


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Defeat Anti-Spank.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: DeathSpank                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Revenge!                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Check the boss strategy I've written up for help, if |
   | you need it.                                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Ok, past Hades is a bacon fire, so go past him a LITTLE ways and you'll see
the now VERY familiar cut-scene of DeathSpank destroying another thong. This
leaves you with the above "Defeat Anti-Spank" quest as your ONLY quest.



Go up and talk to Thurston, who is waiting for you. After some unfriendly
banter you'll have another quest:

   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill The Midgard Serpent.                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: DeathSpank                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Satisfaction!                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Check the boss strategy I've written up for help, if |
   | you need it.                                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Time to take this jerk out:


 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
 | Boss Battle -              The World Serpent               - Boss Battle |
 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Well, this fight is interesting. Let's go through his attacks first,   |
 |   shall we? His most basic attack is a standard melee attack (bite),     |
 |   which he'll of course do when you're on him. His standard range attack |
 |   is spitting a HOMING fireball at you, making it hard to run and heal.  |
 |   Block these. He also does the "Jump on top of you" attack that you've  |
 |   seen other dragons do in the game, so be careful of that as well. His  |
 |   last attack consists of splashing oil on the ground and than lighting  |
 |   it on fire! Yikes!                                                     |
 |                                                                          |
 |   The special thing to note about this boss fight is that fact that The  |
 |   World Serpent is a GOD... meaning you can't kill him. He'll just come  |
 |   back, like you do. You still need to fight though. After you "kill"    |
 |   him, he'll drop a WEAPON, then he'll split into small enemies. What    |
 |   you need to do is pick up the weapon and note that it is AUTOMATICALLY |
 |   EQUIPPED to your 'X' button. Only with that certain weapon can you     |
 |   kill the small enemies. Be sure to leave ONE small enemy alive and     |
 |   heal yourself before killing it. Once you kill all the small enemies,  |
 |   the big version will come back! You need to go through this FOUR TIMES |
 |   before you "win". Also note that as you fight and take him out, he     |
 |   gains slight abilities, such as splashing more of the ground with oil  |
 |   per oil attack. Just keep at it and you'll win.                        |
 |                                                                          |
 |   For entertainment purposes, I wrote down what weapons he drops when    |
 |   you defeat him and on what phase. I also wrote down the NAMES of the   |
 |   smaller enemies that show up. Note that you break the weapons as you   |
 |   use them, but they go to your inventory. You CANNOT repair or use them |
 |   after that, as far as I know.                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Phase One Weapon: The Sword Of Umlaut                                  |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Names of Enemies: Envy, Hatred, Lust.                                  |
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Phase Two Weapon: Hammer Of Olaff The Illiterate                       |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Names of Enemies: Mondays, Smoking, DLC, Spamvertisements,             |
 |                     Poor Parking.                                        |
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Phase Three Weapon: Club Of Emily Dickinson                            |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Names of Enemies: Creative Directors, Organized Religion, Evolution,   |
 |                     Dentistry, Trans Fats, Celtic Dancing, Golf.         |
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Phase Four Weapon: Golden Axe of Emperor Piotr                         |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Names of Enemies: Trout, Forum Trolling, TV Movies, Fatty Foods,       |
 |                     Marketing, Teenage Vampires, 3D TV, Cell Phones,     |
 |                     Godwin's Law.                                        |
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+


After the fight you'll recieve the "Game Ending Head" piece and a bridge
leading further north will appear. Hurrah, we bored him to 'Death'!

Continue north to the "World Tree" area. Notice to the left that there's a
cave that says "DLC Under Construction!". Oh, goodies! These signs are all
over this area, by the way. You'll undoubtedly notice the outhouser here as
well:


  o Outhouse #41: Hollow Outhouse
        
        Location: World Tree


Now head into the cave. At the very end you will meet Anti-Spank, who will
start to ramble on about his brilliant plan and how he's almost done with it.
DeathSpank REALLY doesn't care though, and tells him to shut-up multiple
times. Time to fight! 



 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
 | Boss Battle -                  Anti-Spank                  - Boss Battle |
 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Finally, the beast we've been waiting on all day. You'll only be       |
 |   fighting against the beasts upper-torso. You'll have THREE targets in  |
 |   this battle: His two arms and his torso. Before telling you what I     |
 |   like to do, let's review his attacks. First of all, each arm is        |
 |   carrying a weapon, and each arm can smash that weapon down. When you   |
 |   are out of melee range, he will shoot slightly-homing ranged attacks   |
 |   at you. As the fight wears on, he will also spawn orque enemies (about |
 |   three to four at a time) to go hurt you. Lastly, towards the end of    |
 |   the fight, he will fire laser-beams out of his eyes (to protect his    |
 |   torso health-bar).                                                     |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Being the last fight, you want to pull all the stops here. 30+ cakes,  |
 |   max on every healing item, etc... I also like to use engorge potions   |
 |   for the armor and damage increases. What I like to do is kill off each |
 |   of his arms from RANGE with charged attacks when I can get away with   |
 |   it. Deal with the orques as they come. You can also use you            |
 |   invulnerabilty orbs to get some shots in and any other potions you     |
 |   want to use.                                                           |
 |                                                                          |
 |   With both arms dead, I like to take on the torso at range to, then run |
 |   in and use my Justice Attack (I had the 'Rotary Saw of Slicing') when  |
 |   my gauge got full. Whatever you do, keep your health up as those laser |
 |   beams can drop you FAST. Keep up the attack and you'll soon win.       |
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+



After the battle you'll view the game's ending scene. It's a cliffhanger,
naturally, and promises more of DeathSpank in the future. What will happen to
our hero next? Only time can tell!


Congrats on defeating The Baconing! I hope you enjoyed this walkthough, as I
did my best to keep it entertaining. Remember to recommend it and follow me
on facebook: I really do like talking with gamers and I'm on there all the
time. Who knows, you may be able to persuade me to write a guide on an
upcoming game! 


As far as The Baconing goes, the game will drop you off back into the world,
giving you a chance to finish up any side quests such as The Forbidden
Arena. Go crazy! Until next time!

 ~ Bkstunt


==============================================================================
                          Optional: The Forbidden Arena                     
====================================================================[BAC07]===


One of the game's BIGGEST challenges is The Forbidden Arena.

Here you can participate in a series of TWENTY (20) matches to test your
fighting prowess. Some are harder than others, and to complete the last few
matches you're going to want to be at or near level 20, DeathSpank's MAXIMUM
level.


Many of the early and intermediate matches can be done earlier than you're
supposed to be able to do them by playing in co-op with Sparkles the Wizard.
My friend and I had a fun time doing this.


A quick idea on what levels you should be when you take on these matches solo.


Matches 1-6  Level 6

Matches 7-12 Level 10-12

Matches 13-16 Level 12-15

Matches 17-20 Level 16-20


Here are the Arena Matches (In Side Quest form, which is what they are).


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 1.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Cyberflunk Boots.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This one is pathetically easy, just go kill the      |
   | arena beast to the northwest.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


For gods-sake man, we need to get him his summer home! Head into the arena and
kill the pathetic beast you find there, then return to the tournament master
and claim your reward! Talk to him again for another challenge:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 2.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: 10 Fire Bolts.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Another easy one, lure the giant pip near the many   |
   | barrels and explode them to win easily. Or just fight like a man...     |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Another easy fight, go kill the pip (the exploding barrels help) and return to
the tournament master to get your next challenge:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 3.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gold Treasure Chest Key.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Follow the strategy for "Win Match 2". Pretty darn   |
   | easy, really.                                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Go do what you did to the pip: lure the stone warrior into explosive traps!
You can make the two ranged warriors walk through poison too, if you wish, for
an easy win.


Note that you can now go talk to the red princess, now that you have won 3
arena fights.



OK, before we go do that, let's go fight in the arena some more. Go back and
talk to the tournament master for your next challenge:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 4.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Well, you face a queen ant here but there's an       |
   | EXTREMELY easy way to kill it: just chuck an UNDEATH grenade at it for  |
   | a two-hit kill (at level 6). Or you can utilize the barrels again....   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Another fairly easy fight, especially with UNDEATH grenades or smart barrel
shooting! Be sure to kill all the small offspring as well and see the
tournament master for your next challenge:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 5.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Finally a challenge! I highly recommend focusing on  |
   | the two ARCHERS first and foremost. The two big guys are slow and can   |
   | be outran. Try chucking grenades at the archers, then luring the big    |
   | guys away so you can run in and melee the archers to death. After that, |
   | just pick at the big guys with bolts/range and barrels until you win!   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


This FIFTH fight is actually a challenge! There are four enemies here: two BIG
warriors and two archers. The archers are the biggest challenge by far, so
take them out first (see above for a good strategy). Talk to the tournament
master when you are done for your next challenge:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 6.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Yikes, another challenge! I recommend stocking up    |
   | on health potions and ice grenades/bolts for this one. I hope you are   |
   | good at hit and run attacks. You'll face a dragon here, and he hits     |
   | HARD. Never let him melee you. Resistance potions can make his fire     |
   | attacks negligable, but your ice attacks both hurt and slow him down.   |
   | He will also try to jump on you from above, so try to block it when he  |
   | is coming down. Really stock up on food and potions, and with enough    |
   | bolts and grenades he will fall.                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


This SIXTH fight is quite a challenge, but do-able at level 6 nonetheless.
Read the strategy I wrote up above (no need to repeat myself) and be sure to
stock up on potions and grenades.

Once you emerge victorious, talk to the tournament master for the next
challenge:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 7.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: If you want to do this now (when you are level six), |
   | I recommend grabbing a friend and making him play Sparkles the Wizard.  |
   | Use Sparkles clone attack to kill the beasties off one by one, and just |
   | run around like crazy in the meantime. Otherwise, if you are playing    |
   | solo, come back after leveling a bit and gaining much better weapons to |
   | even stand a chance.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | If you're going solo, come back in a few levels with better weapons.    |
   | You can always reflect the chizards attacks and hit-and-run the rest of |
   | the enemies.                                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Well, the SEVENTH fight is honestly a little too tough for now, so it's best
to wait until you are past level six, so we're going to put this quest on the
back burner for now. Now you CAN do this rather easily if you are playing in
co-op with "Sparkles the Wizard". Just use Sparkles clone attack (triangle) to
make the clones explode and wipe out the level 12 enemies. This is a very
cheap way to win though, but hey, its viable!

If you can, go ahead and do match seven now, following the strategy in the
box above. Once you have won, go talk to the tournament master who will give
you another challenge:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 8.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: If you want to do this now (when you are level six), |
   | I recommend grabbing a friend and making him play Sparkles the Wizard.  |
   | Use Sparkles clone attack to kill the beasties off one by one, and just |
   | run around like crazy in the meantime. You are going to want to aim for |
   | the shamans first and foremost, as they can heal each-other and the     |
   | donkey.  Otherwise, if you are playing solo, come back after leveling a |
   | bit and gaining much better weapons to even stand a chance.             |
   |                                                                         |
   | If you are going solo, you obviously want to take out the shamans. Try  |
   | to isloate one for a bit and kill it (You'll need to be fast). Go in    |
   | with a charge shot and pile on the damage. Take out the otehr shamans   |
   | and you'll be free to crossbow the donkey from range.                   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


With victory in hand, you can go to the tournament master and demand another
challenge:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 9.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: If you want to do this now (when you are level six), |
   | I recommend grabbing a friend and making him play Sparkles the Wizard.  |
   | Now on this match, go make the two human gardners come chase you around |
   | near the bottom of the screen (kite them down there). Use Sparkles      |
   | clones to kill the gardeners down there. Now you can use the junk piles |
   | to hide behind as the trees fire at DeathSpank. Have your partner send  |
   | Sparkle's clones up at the trees and kill them off on by one for        |
   | victory! Otherwise, if you are playing solo, come back after leveling a |
   | bit and gaining much better weapons to even stand a chance. You can use |
   | the same divide and conquer techniques as well.                         |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Read my strategy up above if you're going for this fight in co-op mode. With
the farmers dead and trees slain, go back to the tournament master for yet
another thrilling side-quest.


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 10.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: If you want to do this now (when you are level six), |
   | I recommend grabbing a friend and making him play Sparkles the Wizard.  |
   | Now on this match there are several high-level orques in the area,      |
   | including medics and archers. Now, granted archers are the biggest      |
   | threat, so try to target them with Sparkles clones first. This is much  |
   | easier said then done, but enough clones and dodging will take them     |
   | out. You're still going to go through several potions. Once the archers |
   | are dead, proceed normally with your clones and dodging to win.         |
   |                                                                         |
   | As usual, if you are playing solo, you'll want to return once you have  |
   | leveled up quite a bit and have better weapons. You'll still aim for    |
   | the archers and medics first, of course, but being level 13-14 will do  |
   | wonders for you.                                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Again, up above is my co-op stragegy, which STILL just revolves around "Kill
stuff with Sparkle's Clones....". Hey, it works! After the fight, go talk to
the tournament master for another challenge:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 11.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: If you want to do this now (when you are level six), |
   | I recommend grabbing a friend and making him play Sparkles the Wizard.  |
   | Now on this match there are several high-level raptors. These things    |
   | run fast, but with Sparkles clones helping out and acting as suicide    |
   | bombers this fight is much easier than the last one. You can just       |
   | out-run the raptors, so run away and spawn clones galore to take them   |
   | out.                                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | As usual, if you are playing solo, you'll want to return once you have  |
   | leveled up quite a bit and have better weapons. The raptors like to     |
   | group up together, so I would imagine that area attacks would work      |
   | wonders here.                                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | This round is easier on solo players. Use the barrels and hit-and-run   |
   | tactics since they have no ranged enemies.                              |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Once again, you can get away with this fight at level six if you use Sparkles
clone attack, otherwise come back in about 6-10 more levels! Return to the
tournament master for your next challenge:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 12.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: If you want to do this now (when you are level six), |
   | I recommend grabbing a friend and making him play Sparkles the Wizard.  |
   | Now on this match you will face five leprechauns. The only ones you     |
   | really have to worry about are the two ranged enemies, as our strategy  |
   | at such a low level is still just "spawn Sparkle clones and run".       |
   | It's by no means easy to dodge their ranged attacks, so bring along     |
   | some food and potions just in case. When the ranged leprechauns are     |
   | dead, the fight is all but won.                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | As usual, if you are playing solo, you'll want to return once you have  |
   | leveled up quite a bit and have better weapons. You'll still take out   |
   | the ranged enemies first (try to get the drop on one and NAIL him) and  |
   | run away to heal. Very doable in the early to mid-teens, level wise...  |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Once again, you can get away with this fight at level six if you use Sparkles
clone attack, otherwise come back in about 6-10 more levels! Return to the
tournament master for your next challenge:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 13.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: THIS match is essenitally impossible to do at level  |
   | six... but it can be done. I won't lie, it took my friend and me around |
   | TWENTY TRIES before we won! This battle consists of THREE shamans (aka  |
   | healers) at level 17 and ONE GIANT DRAGON at level 18! The reason it is |
   | so hard is not only do you have the high level shamans healing, but the |
   | dragon LOVES to jump up in the air and stomp down on you from above.    |
   |                                                                         |
   | If you want to try doing this co-op as early as you can, your BEST bet  |
   | is to get some grenades and scope out the area.. try to catch a shaman  |
   | by itself and SLAM IT with grenades AND Sparkle's clones. That should   |
   | be enough to kill it. Now you're going to have to kite the other        |
   | enemies until you can slam another shaman with grenades and clones. If  |
   | you can manage killing the dragon before a shaman though, great! More   |
   | power to you. I wasn't lying about the twenty tries it took though, so  |
   | you are probably better off waiting on this one.                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | I'd recommend coming back when you're leveled up and taking them on.    |
   | Around level 15 should be good. You'll of course want to take out the   |
   | healing asap, so nail an isolated shaman to take is out, then focus on  |
   | the other ones.                                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Onto the next match:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 14.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This one is a lot like round 10. You'll naturally    |
   | want to focus on archers and healers first and try to take them out as  |
   | soon as possible. After that, the rest is easy pickings. Having co-op   |
   | will help immensely.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


After that mediocre fight, go back to the tounament master for another
challenge:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 15.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Now THIS match is entertaining. You'll fight a TON   |
   | of ants here. You can use backpeddling techniques, but you're going to  |
   | want to be level 14-17 to deal good damage against them. I was a lower  |
   | level, but I used barrels and grenades to deal a lot of damage. Use a   |
   | area-damaging justice weapon as well.                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


After the ant-slaughter, go talk to the tournament master for round 16:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 16.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Pretty easy compared to what's coming up. Use your   |
   | ranged attacks and backpeddling and you should be ok. Use the barrels   |
   | when you can, and don't be shy with the justice!                        |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


This next match is where I'd recommend going and hitting level 20. You can do
it at lower levels, sure, but it'll be harder. Of course, for each and every
one of these matches having help on co-op will GREATLY benefit you.


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 17.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You'll fight three unique enemies here: kangamoos.   |
   | They have a "Lactose-based" attack that one of my readers, huynh2er,    |
   | advising reflecting back at them. This is easier when only one attacks  |
   | you instead of three, but you can fight one for awhile if you engage    |
   | correctly. I used an engorge potion and ranged attacks to take them     |
   | out, using justice whenever I could and a lot of potions.               |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


After THOSE weirdo's, proceed to the next challenge.


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 18.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You'll face two demons here. This is easier than the |
   | cows in my opion, as you can use hit-and-run attacks much more easily.  |
   | I went in with a lot of ice grenades as well, just to open things up!   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Two more matches to go. Are you excited? We have to face the "runner-up" now:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 19.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: I'd recommend deflecing the slime monsters shots to  |
   | kill them. They'll "warp" as well, so you can get in some melee swipes  |
   | easier. Just save the runner-up for last and nail the slimes first.     |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


Our last fight! Here we go:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 20.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: We have to kill Morbo, but he has some healers and   |
   | archers with him. Focus on those first, since Morbo has no ranged       |
   | attack. Once you have Morbo by himself, we can kill him easily by good  |
   | 'ol fashioned back-peddling.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


After winning, go talk to the tournament master. He has no more quests for
you, but does give you the key to that big chest to the northeast that we've
been lusting after this whole time. You also get another quest, stupidly
enough:


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Become Tournament Champion.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Various Items, Rotary Saw Of Slicing.                          |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Just take the key you got and open the chest. What   |
   | a waste of a quest...                                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o



And with that you are now the tournament champion! You'll get a trophy and
you'll have completed the biggest challenge (in my mind) that The Baconing has
for you. Good job!



==============================================================================
                                Main Quests                     
==================================================================[BAC-MQU]===


Don't want to follow the guide, but want to look up a particular quest to
see how it's done or what you get for it? Well than, this section is for YOU!

It's recommended you use CTRL + F here to quickly find the quest you're
looking for. Note that not all quests (ESPECIALLY *MAIN* Quetsts) tell you
HOW to do them in this guide, since MANY of them are completed just by playing
the game. I'm guessing you're not searching for those quests, though. If you
are, be patient!


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: What The Hell...?                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: At the start of the game.                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Glorious Information!                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go find your good buddy the Thongolith Researcher!   |
   | You really can't miss him, so just play the game.                       |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Talk To the Doorphan.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Thongolith Researcher.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: The #1 Punchcard. Oh, and more quests!                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Continue playing the game and you'll undoubtedly run |
   | into the little tramp!                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Destroy Thong 1 in Forbidden Zone.                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Thongolith Researcher.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Job Satisfaction!                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Don't worry, you will acomplish this by playing the  |
   | game. Specifically, by going through the Forbidden Zone area.           |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name:  Destroy Thong 2 in Forest Of Tomorrow.                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Thongolith Researcher.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: A LOT of Job Satisfaction!?                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Don't worry, you will acomplish this by playing the  |
   | game. Specifically, by going through the Forest of Tomorrow area.       |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name:  Destroy Thong 3 in Rainbow's End.                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Thongolith Researcher.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: What, you want something more than job satisfaction!?          |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Don't worry, you will acomplish this by playing the  |
   | game. Specifically, by going through the Rainbow's End area.            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name:  Destroy Thong 4 in Barnacle Lake.                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Thongolith Researcher.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Um... job satisfaction is pretty much it, man...               |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Don't worry, you will acomplish this by playing the  |
   | game. Specifically, by going through the Rainbow's End area.            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name:  Destroy Thong 5 in Valhalla Heights.                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Thongolith Researcher.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Guess!? Yep, Job Satisfaction!                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Don't worry, you will acomplish this by playing the  |
   | game. Specifically, by going through the Rainbow's End area.            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name:  Destroy The 5 Extra Thongs.                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Thongolith Researcher.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: The knowledge that you are VERY close to beating the game?     |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Don't worry, you will acomplish this by playing the  |
   | game. Specifically, by going through the Rainbow's End area.            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Reprogram Replicator.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the "Doorphen".                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Replicator Control Crystal.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You need to collect punch cards to feed to the       |
   | replicator. I recommend following the guide to find all the punch       |
   | cards, just continue reading below and you'll be fine.                  |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Unlock Security Gate.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the "Doorphen".                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Access to the rest of the world.                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This is an easy one, you'll easily be able to do     |
   | this after completing the "Reprogram Replicator" quest. Just simply     |
   | interact with the gate one you obtain the replicator control crystal.   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Use A Fortune Cookie.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the "Doorphen".                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: The Code to the Replicator (3, 5, 4)                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Um... simply use a fortune cookie on the "Reprogram  |
   | Replicator" quest...                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Unlock Chest.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Locksmith.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Punch Card 4.                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Talk to the locksmith and use the keys that you'll   |
   | soon get on the nearby chest.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Revenge Against Red Aliens.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Green Alien.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Blank Punch Card.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Slaughter the red aliens to the right of you.        |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Defeat The Mineorque.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By the Helpful Utopian Orphan.                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: The Drill of Justice.                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: See the boss strategy for "Mineorque".               |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Free The Mayor.                                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By The Mayor.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Experience and a Camera.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Simply kill the hatchlings to the left of the mayor  |
   | for their glands.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Photograph The Mayor.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By The Mayor.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Access to the Forbidden City.                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Follow the mayor (he actually disappears) and keep   |
   | going through the Forbidden Zone. You'll see him pop up in different    |
   | areas, where you'll need to equip the camera and take pictures of him.  |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Stuff Ballot Boxes.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By The Mayor.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Canvas Glove Of Punching.                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Head to the graveyard on the east end of town and    |
   | read/write down the names of the dead people. Now visit the voting      |
   | stations and vote at each of them, using the names you... borrowed.     |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Investigate Z.I.M.O.N.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By The Mayor.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progress!                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You need to continue playing the game! Z.I.M.O.N. is |
   | located in a building to the northeast of the Forbidden City, in a      |
   | building by the Forbidden Canals.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Repair Z.I.M.O.N.'s Brain.                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Z.I.M.O.N.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progress!                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This is one of those quests that you MUST do to      |
   | proceed... Check the last bit of the "Forbidden Zone" part of the guide |
   | if you are having trouble with this quest...                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Open The Ancient Complex Gate.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Z.I.M.O.N.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: A gate needlessly blocking your way is lifted!                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: To complete this quest, you simply need to complete  |
   | the "Learn The South Pole Code" and "Learn The North Pole Code" quests. |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Learn The South Pole Code.                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Z.I.M.O.N.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progress!                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Complete the quest "Master Ancient Knowledge" and    |
   | talk to the South Pole Master to complete this quest as well. The code  |
   | is 3, 2, 1, by the way...                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Learn The North Pole Code.                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Z.I.M.O.N.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progress!                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Complete the quest "Kill Forbidden Dragon" and talk  |
   | to the North Pole Master to complete this quest as well... The code is  |
   | 1, 2, 3, by the way...                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Forbidden Dragon.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Master Of The North                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progress!                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Head into the door behind the quest-giver and after  |
   | fighting through chizards and beasts you will find the dragon. He likes |
   | to spray fire and jump on you. Use a good justice attack like the       |
   | 'Rotary Saw Of Cutting'. Return to the master when you're done.         |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Master Ancient Knowledge.                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Master Of The South                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progress!                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: For this quest, defer to the guide itself for the    |
   | 'logical' way. You could just beat up the masters students, if you      |
   | wanted to...                                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Assemble the Nuclear Family.                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Betty Nuclear                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Ability to move past the Forest of Tomorrow area.              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This quest will be completed automatically when you  |
   | finish the "Bring Chastity Home", "Bring Elroy Home", and "Bring Dick   |
   | Home" quests. You can't help but finish this quest if you do those,     |
   | just go back and see Betty Nuclear.                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Bring Chastity Home.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Betty Nuclear                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progression!                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: A story-driven plot quest, you will have to find     |
   | Chastity in the far-west of this area. Chastity won't come home easily  |
   | though, so do the quest "Kill Raphael" to make her come home.           |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Bring Elroy Home.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Betty Nuclear                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progression!                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Elroy will refuse to come home until you finish the  |
   | "Get Nuclear Dog" quest. This is a required story quest, so follow the  |
   | guide and you'll be ok.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Bring Dick Home.                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Betty Nuclear                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progression!                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This is a story-driven quest, so follow the guide!   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Reunite Ima with Strunken.                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Ima Applehole                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nuclear Dog                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This is one of the story-driven quests. You will     |
   | get what you need to complete this quest after you do the "Get DNA      |
   | Sample" quest, which comes up a little bit later in this guide.         |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Prove You're a V.I.P..                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Badger                                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Access to the Champaigne Room.                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Complete the "Restock Vending Machine" quest to gain |
   | the item needed to become a VIP!                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Restock Vending Machine.                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Lucy Eisenbein                                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: VIP Pass                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: To the right of the Pleasuretorium is the Farm of    |
   | Tomorrow. Head over there to fight off the enemies and collect the 20   |
   | tobaccy plants that Lucy wants.                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill The Pleasure Bots.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Dick Nuclear                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Life Itself!                                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Dick will sick his pleasure bots on you! Some area   |
   | attacks are in order here, and have a potion ready if you need it, but  |
   | this isn't a very hard fight.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Strunken Some Vendor Tobaccy.                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Strunken McClure                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Full Spittoon                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: After completing the "Restock Vending Machine" quest |
   | be sure to grab some VENDOR TOBACCY. Also, be sure to grab the SPITTOON |
   | from the CHAMPAIGNE ROOM where you found Dick Nuclear. Now, offer to    |
   | give Strunken the tobaccy and you'll end up with the full spittoon...   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Used Clone-ponents.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Elroy Nuclear                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Ability to use CLONING machine.                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You need to go around and talk to all the horrible   |
   | cloned mistakes walking around the area. There are FOUR near Elroy and  |
   | four near the pleasuretorium where you found Dick. Speak to each of     |
   | them to totally get the OK to hack off components...                    |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Nuclear Dog.                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Elroy Nuclear                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Make Elroy go home.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: The key to getting the Nuclear Dog from IMA is to    |
   | complete the "Reunite Ima with Strunken" questline. Most of the KEY     |
   | points to THAT quest are in the "Get DNA Sample" quest, so read that to |
   | find out how to get your own replacement Strunken and please Ima.       |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get DNA Sample.                                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Elroy Nuclear                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: A CLONED Strunken McClure.                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: To get a DNA sample, you need to bring the REAL      |
   | Strunken McClure some VENDOR TOBACCY and a SPITTOON. You can find both  |
   | within the brothel that Dick Nuclear was in after finishing all the     |
   | quests to make him go home.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Raphael.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Chastity Nuclear                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: You get to send Chastity home.                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Well you pretty much just need to kill Raphael to    |
   | complete this quest, which isn't a HARD task... For example you COULD   |
   | just reflect all of his fireballs back at him (all he does is shoot     |
   | fireballs anyway). Have some potions handy and take him out.            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Collect Casino Felt.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Freen                                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Being a Hero!?                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: To get Freen's felt, we're going to have to enter    |
   | the casion north of him. Inside is a WHOLE BUNCH of leprechauns to kill |
   | and gambling tables to break. Each table drops a piece of casino felt.  |
   | Collect 14 of them and return to Freen.                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Fix Slot Machines.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Mob Boss                                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Good graces with the mob?                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This one is fairly easy, just head over to the       |
   | "Slots Dungeon" on the right and head down. Now USE the dice on each    |
   | of the machines to "fix" them. As you fix the machines, slot jockeys    |
   | will show up to stop you. One big one will show up after machine #6,    |
   | so keep some potions ready for her and you'll be ok.                    |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Entertainer Disguise.                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Mob Boss                                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Kingly Gloves, Kingly Boots, Kingly Shoulders, Kingly Chest,   |
   |          Kingly Glasses.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Once you do the "Mine for Blarney Stones" quest and  |
   | the "Get Outfit Material" quest, Freen will deliver all of the above    |
   | items to you. Nice!                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Intimidate Monks.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Mob Boss                                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Ice Pick                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: The Mob Boss will ask you to attach a homing device  |
   | to a nearby anti-gambling monk tour bus. That's legal, right? Anyway,   |
   | the tour bus is southeast of the casion. You'll have to fight your way  |
   | through monks and nuns to get there, but once you kill them all put     |
   | device on the bus. Go return to the Mob Boss to complete the quest.     |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Mine for Blarney Stones.                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Freen                                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progression!                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: First, you'll need the Ice Pick that is a reward     |
   | from the "Intimidate Monks" quest. After that, enter the cave to the    |
   | south-east of town and hit the blarney stones there with the pick.      |
   | You'll need to traverse the entire mine gathering stones, but there is  |
   | more stones there than you need so you should be ok.                    |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Outfit Material.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Freen                                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progression!                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: After getting this quest, "Kingsly Impersonator's"   |
   | will now inhabit the Kingsly Dungeon. Go kill all of them and take      |
   | their clothing, Mr. "Good Guy".                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Free Miners.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Engineer                                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: A path to the mines.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This MAY be the easiest quest yet. Kill the monster  |
   | below the engineer before taking the quest, then walk around to the     |
   | mine blockage to your right and USE the TNT on it. KABOOM!              |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Unlock Ship.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Captain Taint                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: A path to the mines.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This MAY be the easiest quest yet. Kill the monster  |
   | below the engineer before taking the quest, then walk around to the     |
   | mine blockage to your right and USE the TNT on it. KABOOM!              |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Distribute Barnacle Spores.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Captain Taint                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Making well keepers do what you want...                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This quest really goes hand-in-hand with the 'Get    |
   | Overripe Fruit' quest. Just throw spores into every well as you do that |
   | quest (which you'll need to anyways).                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Overripe Fruit.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Captain Taint                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: An explosive piece of fruit!                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This is a plot-driven quest. Basically you need to   |
   | visit the 'Wellspring Island' and get the bucket from the well keeper,  |
   | then the 'Talking Stick Island' to get the stick from that well keeper  |
   | and finally the 'Overripe Fruit Island' to get the fruit. Consulte the  |
   | guide for more details.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Save The Mother Barnacle.                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Captain Taint                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Access to a bacon fire!                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This is of course a plot quest. Focus on the "Get    |
   | Overripe Fruit" quest so you can take on Cyborque Fortress, where you   |
   | will save the Mother Barnacle.                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Bring Talking Stick.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Well Keeper                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: The ability to talk to the third well keeper.                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: If you've been following the guide, you'll have it   |
   | already. If not, you need to get the bucket from the 'Wellspring Island'|
   | well keeper, then use it with barnacle spores to give water to the      |
   | 'Talking Stick Island' well keeper, which well net you the stick.       |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Investigate Zeus.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Sheriff of the Gods                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Assurance Zeus is not a murderer.                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Just talk to Zeus. You'll have to complete the       |
   | 'Sneak Past Bearabus" quest to do so though.                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Investigate Thor.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Sheriff of the Gods                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Assurance Thor is not a murderer.                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You'll have to go out of your way to even get to     |
   | Thor. There's too many quests to list, just follow the guide for this   |
   | one.                                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Sneak Past Bearabus.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: By Trying to go to Zeus' Estate.                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Access to Zeus.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This one is simple, just go to the Library to the    |
   | east of the statue and hit the alarm. This will get you 'shushed'. Now  |
   | quickly run past the Bearabus.                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Country Club Reference.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Derek Oil.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gain access to Country Club.                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You'll get this once you complete the "Investigate   |
   | Zeus" quest, so go do that one already!                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Godly Golf Club.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Derek Oil.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: A godly golf club, duh!                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go visit Vulcan in the Pro Shop and do the 'Get Golf |
   | Club Parts' and 'Get Lightning Bolt' quests he gives you.               |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Golfer Gloves.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Derek Oil.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gain access to Golf Course.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go kill the orques in the caddies area through the   |
   | middle door of the Country Club. One of them WILL drop this piece.      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Golfer Boots.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Derek Oil.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gain access to Golf Course.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go kill the orques in the caddies area through the   |
   | middle door of the Country Club. One of them WILL drop this piece.      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Golfer Shoulders.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Derek Oil.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gain access to Golf Course.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go kill the orques in the caddies area through the   |
   | middle door of the Country Club. One of them WILL drop this piece.      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get a Golfer Hat.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Derek Oil.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gain access to Golf Course.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go kill the orques in the caddies area through the   |
   | middle door of the Country Club. One of them WILL drop this piece.      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get a Golfer Shirt.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Derek Oil.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gain access to Golf Course.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go kill the orques in the caddies area through the   |
   | middle door of the Country Club. One of them WILL drop this piece.      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Dress Like a Golfer.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Derek Oil.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gain access to Golf Course.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Complete all of the "Get Golfer..." quests to finish |
   | this quest. You have to be level 18 to wear the suit, so get there,     |
   | equip the suit, and talk to Derek Oil.                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Golf Club Parts.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Vulcan                                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: The start of a legendary golf club.                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Another collecting quest. Leave the Pro club and run |
   | left to the Country Club. On the way, you'll see TWO statues with golf  |
   | clubs in them, so raid them for those two golf clubs. Now, warp to the  |
   | main statue area. To the left of the outhouse is another statue with a  |
   | single club, while the MAIN statue has SEVEN clubs. Return to Vulcan.   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Get Lightning Bolt.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Vulcan                                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: The finish of a legendary golf club.                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This one is really easy, just go visit the murdered  |
   | orphan god and take THAT lightning bolt, then return it to Vulcan.      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Return to the Sheriff.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Thor                                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Sweet Plot Progression.                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Um... Have you tried returning to the sheriff?       |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Investigate Hades.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Sheriff of the Gods                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Assurance that Hades isn't a murderer.                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You'll get this naturally by advancing through Hel's |
   | Half Acre.                                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Free Hades.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Hades                                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Plot Progression!                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: To free Hades, you'll have to kill enemies in front  |
   | of him. And 'In front of him" actually means "Kill enemies within the   |
   | sacrificial circle. Now the enemies will keep spawning until you kill   |
   | 20 of them in the circle, so keep some potions on hand and use area     |
   | Justice attacks to help yourself out.                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Defeat Anti-Spank.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: DeathSpank                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Revenge!                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Check the boss strategy I've written up for help, if |
   | you need it.                                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   M A I N   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill The Midgard Serpent.                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: DeathSpank                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Satisfaction!                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Check the boss strategy I've written up for help, if |
   | you need it.                                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o



==============================================================================
                                Side Quests                     
==================================================================[BAC-SDQ]===


Don't want to follow the guide, but want to look up a particular quest to
see how it's done or what you get for it? Well than, this section is ALSO for
you!

Again, it's recommended you use CTRL + F here to quickly find the quest you're
looking for. Snazzy!



   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Stuffed Animal Rescue.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Utopian Orphan.                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: The unconditional love of a motherless child.                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go kill the ghost lords to the north of where you    |
   | pick this quest up at. Combine the pieces of the stuffed animal they    |
   | drop and give it back to the orphan.                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Dire Beast.                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Big Game Hunter.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Laser Axe.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You can find the Dire Beast in the Forbidden Beast   |
   | Den. It isn't particularly hard to kill, so get its hide and bring it   |
   | back to the Big Game Hunter.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Hive Queen.                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Big Game Hunter.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Cyberflunk Shoulders.                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You will find the Hive Queen in the "Forbidden Hive" |
   | area. Have some potions ready as she hits HARD! An undead weapon helps  |
   | as well!                                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Lion.                                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Big Game Hunter.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Icy Club Of Colder.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You can find the lion north of the forbidden city,   |
   | up in the northern cubby. It is surrounded by forbidden gang members.   |
   | Once you've dealth with it, go back to the big game hunter.             |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Prove Your Worthiness.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Red Princess.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Trinket Of Cyberflunk.                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Defeat the first 3 Forbidden Arena challenges.       |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Destroy Rival's Garden.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Red Princess.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Cyberflunk Helm.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go "defile" the flowers in the garden south of       |
   | the graveyard in Forbidden City. You'll have to deal with gardeners as  |
   | you proceed and the giant Sven as well. Sven is slow, so take him out   |
   | from range.                                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Destroy Rival's Bath Water.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Red Princess.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Antique-ish Wrist Watch.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Head up to the city dump north of town. You'll find  |
   | a giant foul beast there, that upon death drops the "foulest excrement" |
   | that you need to pick up and take back to the rival's rose garden. Now  |
   | go interact with the fountain and put the excrement in. As soon as you  |
   | do, you will be ambushed by smaller foul beasts and some flies. Kill    |
   | them all and talk to the princess for your reward.                      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Dinoroo.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Big Game Hunter.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Automaton Chest.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You can find the dino north of the forbidden city,   |
   | up in the northeastern cubby. It is the only remotely challenging enemy |
   | in the area, and isn't too much of a challenge. Kill it and return its  |
   | bones to the big game hunter.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Coal Monster.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Big Game Hunter.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Trinket of The Automaton.                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: The area you need to head to is southeast of the     |
   | Forbidden City. Head down there and you'll find the coal monster at the |
   | end. He's level 8 and is surrounded by chizards, but isn't really that  |
   | much of a challenge. His punches hurt, but you can freeze him or just   |
   | run and heal to prevail.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Wumpas.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Engineer                                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: World Smasher The Bester.                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: There are FOUR Wumpas in the mines that need killed. |
   | They are at the very back of the mine and hit HARD, so come prepared    |
   | and remember to divide and conquer (that and hit-and-run!).             |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Take Photo.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tourist                                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Tourist Photo.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Just equip the camera the tourist gives you and      |
   | snap a pic!                                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Mail Post Card.                                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tourist                                                          |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gloves Of Pressurized Violence, Canoodian Money.               |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Travel a bit north to the Post Master and buy the    |
   | 'Stamp Replicator' she sells. Use it on the photo. Now put the Post     |
   | Card in the mailbox on the left. Talk to the tourist when you are done. |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Deliver Mail.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Post Master                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Watch Of Mollusks.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Deliver the mail for the post lady. The mailboxes    |
   | can be found in the following locations:                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | o Right next to the Post Master.                                        |
   | o Alien Vacation Island.                                                |
   | o Wellspring Island.                                                    |
   | o McLucky Isle.                                                         |
   | o Talking Stick Island.                                                 |
   | o Overripe Fruit Island.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Find Missing Crew.                                                |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Navy Captain                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Great Sword.                                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You'll find cages with Seamen in them as you explore |
   | the islands. Free them all and talk to the Navy Captain. Here are their |
   | locations:                                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | o Itsy Bitsy Island.                                                    |
   | o McLucky Isle (TWO of them are here).                                  |
   | o Tiny Island.                                                          |
   | o Teeny Island.                                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: First Labor.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Zeus                                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Godlike Trinket.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Kill the hedges slightly to the northwest of Zeus.   |
   | You can pretty much pick these things off from a range. Kill all 14 of  |
   | them and you're done.                                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Second Labor.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Zeus                                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Ultimate Electric Rifle.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This one is a little tricky. North of Zeus are some  |
   | thistles that you can't do anything to. What you NEED to do is go aggro |
   | the goats southeast of the central statue and lead them back to the     |
   | thistles. Let the goats eat all of them, then kill the goats.           |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Twelfth Labor.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Zeus                                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Orphan Gun.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You'll find the Bearabus in Hel's Half Acre, near    |
   | the 'Smelly Outhouse'. Go get 'em!                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Evict Ganesha.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Rich Cabins                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Godlike Shoulders.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Go harvest the peanuts to the west of the Pro Shop.  |
   | Now equip them and lay down a trail of peanuts and Ganesha will follow. |
   | Lead him out of his yard.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Evict Anansi.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Rich Cabins                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Godlike Head.                                                  |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This one is pretty easy. To get rid of the Bill      |
   | Cosby spider, go visit the Pro Shop. In the Pro Shop buy a bug bomb and |
   | then go use it near Anansi to drive him out.                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Evict "The King".                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Rich Cabins                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Game Ending Necks.                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: To do this quest, you need access to Hel's Half Acre |
   | where you can find the draft papers in a mailbox admist the trailer     |
   | park. Now, make sure you got the pen that was sitting by Derek Oil and  |
   | go see The King. Ask for an autograph, give him your pen, and then have |
   | him autograph the draft notice. Talk to him afterwards, showing him     |
   | that he has to leave to do to war.                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Kill Surrur Giants.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Thor                                                             |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gold Treasure Chest Key.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: The giants are found in Hel's Half Acre, near the    |
   | 'Devil's Putt Putt'. Take them all out and return to Thor.              |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 1.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Cyberflunk Boots.                                              |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This one is pathetically easy, just go kill the      |
   | arena beast to the northwest.                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 2.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: 10 Fire Bolts.                                                 |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Another easy one, lure the giant pip near the many   |
   | barrels and explode them to win easily. Or just fight like a man...     |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 3.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Gold Treasure Chest Key.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Follow the strategy for "Win Match 2". Pretty darn   |
   | easy, really.                                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 4.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Well, you face a queen ant here but there's an       |
   | EXTREMELY easy way to kill it: just chuck an UNDEATH grenade at it for  |
   | a two-hit kill (at level 6). Or you can utilize the barrels again....   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 5.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Finally a challenge! I highly recommend focusing on  |
   | the two ARCHERS first and foremost. The two big guys are slow and can   |
   | be outran. Try chucking grenades at the archers, then luring the big    |
   | guys away so you can run in and melee the archers to death. After that, |
   | just pick at the big guys with bolts/range and barrels until you win!   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 6.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Yikes, another challenge! I recommend stocking up    |
   | on health potions and ice grenades/bolts for this one. I hope you are   |
   | good at hit and run attacks. You'll face a dragon here, and he hits     |
   | HARD. Never let him melee you. Resistance potions can make his fire     |
   | attacks negligable, but your ice attacks both hurt and slow him down.   |
   | He will also try to jump on you from above, so try to block it when he  |
   | is coming down. Really stock up on food and potions, and with enough    |
   | bolts and grenades he will fall.                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 7.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: If you want to do this now (when you are level six), |
   | I recommend grabbing a friend and making him play Sparkles the Wizard.  |
   | Use Sparkles clone attack to kill the beasties off one by one, and just |
   | run around like crazy in the meantime. Otherwise, if you are playing    |
   | solo, come back after leveling a bit and gaining much better weapons to |
   | even stand a chance.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | If you're going solo, come back in a few levels with better weapons.    |
   | You can always reflect the chizards attacks and hit-and-run the rest of |
   | the enemies.                                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 8.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: If you want to do this now (when you are level six), |
   | I recommend grabbing a friend and making him play Sparkles the Wizard.  |
   | Use Sparkles clone attack to kill the beasties off one by one, and just |
   | run around like crazy in the meantime. You are going to want to aim for |
   | the shamans first and foremost, as they can heal each-other and the     |
   | donkey.  Otherwise, if you are playing solo, come back after leveling a |
   | bit and gaining much better weapons to even stand a chance.             |
   |                                                                         |
   | If you are going solo, you obviously want to take out the shamans. Try  |
   | to isloate one for a bit and kill it (You'll need to be fast). Go in    |
   | with a charge shot and pile on the damage. Take out the otehr shamans   |
   | and you'll be free to crossbow the donkey from range.                   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 9.                                                      |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: If you want to do this now (when you are level six), |
   | I recommend grabbing a friend and making him play Sparkles the Wizard.  |
   | Now on this match, go make the two human gardners come chase you around |
   | near the bottom of the screen (kite them down there). Use Sparkles      |
   | clones to kill the gardeners down there. Now you can use the junk piles |
   | to hide behind as the trees fire at DeathSpank. Have your partner send  |
   | Sparkle's clones up at the trees and kill them off on by one for        |
   | victory! Otherwise, if you are playing solo, come back after leveling a |
   | bit and gaining much better weapons to even stand a chance. You can use |
   | the same divide and conquer techniques as well.                         |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 10.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: If you want to do this now (when you are level six), |
   | I recommend grabbing a friend and making him play Sparkles the Wizard.  |
   | Now on this match there are several high-level orques in the area,      |
   | including medics and archers. Now, granted archers are the biggest      |
   | threat, so try to target them with Sparkles clones first. This is much  |
   | easier said then done, but enough clones and dodging will take them     |
   | out. You're still going to go through several potions. Once the archers |
   | are dead, proceed normally with your clones and dodging to win.         |
   |                                                                         |
   | As usual, if you are playing solo, you'll want to return once you have  |
   | leveled up quite a bit and have better weapons. You'll still aim for    |
   | the archers and medics first, of course, but being level 13-14 will do  |
   | wonders for you.                                                        |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 11.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: If you want to do this now (when you are level six), |
   | I recommend grabbing a friend and making him play Sparkles the Wizard.  |
   | Now on this match there are several high-level raptors. These things    |
   | run fast, but with Sparkles clones helping out and acting as suicide    |
   | bombers this fight is much easier than the last one. You can just       |
   | out-run the raptors, so run away and spawn clones galore to take them   |
   | out.                                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   | As usual, if you are playing solo, you'll want to return once you have  |
   | leveled up quite a bit and have better weapons. The raptors like to     |
   | group up together, so I would imagine that area attacks would work      |
   | wonders here.                                                           |
   |                                                                         |
   | This round is easier on solo players. Use the barrels and hit-and-run   |
   | tactics since they have no ranged enemies.                              |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 12.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: If you want to do this now (when you are level six), |
   | I recommend grabbing a friend and making him play Sparkles the Wizard.  |
   | Now on this match you will face five leprechauns. The only ones you     |
   | really have to worry about are the two ranged enemies, as our strategy  |
   | at such a low level is still just "spawn Sparkle clones and run".       |
   | It's by no means easy to dodge their ranged attacks, so bring along     |
   | some food and potions just in case. When the ranged leprechauns are     |
   | dead, the fight is all but won.                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   | As usual, if you are playing solo, you'll want to return once you have  |
   | leveled up quite a bit and have better weapons. You'll still take out   |
   | the ranged enemies first (try to get the drop on one and NAIL him) and  |
   | run away to heal. Very doable in the early to mid-teens, level wise...  |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 13.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: THIS match is essenitally impossible to do at level  |
   | six... but it can be done. I won't lie, it took my friend and me around |
   | TWENTY TRIES before we won! This battle consists of THREE shamans (aka  |
   | healers) at level 17 and ONE GIANT DRAGON at level 18! The reason it is |
   | so hard is not only do you have the high level shamans healing, but the |
   | dragon LOVES to jump up in the air and stomp down on you from above.    |
   |                                                                         |
   | If you want to try doing this co-op as early as you can, your BEST bet  |
   | is to get some grenades and scope out the area.. try to catch a shaman  |
   | by itself and SLAM IT with grenades AND Sparkle's clones. That should   |
   | be enough to kill it. Now you're going to have to kite the other        |
   | enemies until you can slam another shaman with grenades and clones. If  |
   | you can manage killing the dragon before a shaman though, great! More   |
   | power to you. I wasn't lying about the twenty tries it took though, so  |
   | you are probably better off waiting on this one.                        |
   |                                                                         |
   | I'd recommend coming back when you're leveled up and taking them on.    |
   | Around level 15 should be good. You'll of course want to take out the   |
   | healing asap, so nail an isolated shaman to take is out, then focus on  |
   | the other ones.                                                         |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 14.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: This one is a lot like round 10. You'll naturally    |
   | want to focus on archers and healers first and try to take them out as  |
   | soon as possible. After that, the rest is easy pickings. Having co-op   |
   | will help immensely.                                                    |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 15.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Now THIS match is entertaining. You'll fight a TON   |
   | of ants here. You can use backpeddling techniques, but you're going to  |
   | want to be level 14-17 to deal good damage against them. I was a lower  |
   | level, but I used barrels and grenades to deal a lot of damage. Use a   |
   | area-damaging justice weapon as well.                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 16.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Pretty easy compared to what's coming up. Use your   |
   | ranged attacks and backpeddling and you should be ok. Use the barrels   |
   | when you can, and don't be shy with the justice!                        |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 17.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You'll fight three unique enemies here: kangamoos.   |
   | They have a "Lactose-based" attack that one of my readers, huynh2er,    |
   | advising reflecting back at them. This is easier when only one attacks  |
   | you instead of three, but you can fight one for awhile if you engage    |
   | correctly. I used an engorge potion and ranged attacks to take them     |
   | out, using justice whenever I could and a lot of potions.               |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 18.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: You'll face two demons here. This is easier than the |
   | cows in my opion, as you can use hit-and-run attacks much more easily.  |
   | I went in with a lot of ice grenades as well, just to open things up!   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 19.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: I'd recommend deflecing the slime monsters shots to  |
   | kill them. They'll "warp" as well, so you can get in some melee swipes  |
   | easier. Just save the runner-up for last and nail the slimes first.     |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Win Match 20.                                                     |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Nothing.                                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: We have to kill Morbo, but he has some healers and   |
   | archers with him. Focus on those first, since Morbo has no ranged       |
   | attack. Once you have Morbo by himself, we can kill him easily by good  |
   | 'ol fashioned back-peddling.                                            |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o


   o-------------------------o
   |   S I D E   Q U E S T   |
   o-------------------------+-----------------------------------------------o
   |                                                                         |
   | Name: Become Tournament Champion.                                       |
   |                                                                         |
   | Given: Tournament Master.                                               |
   |                                                                         |
   | Rewards: Various Items, Rotary Saw Of Slicing.                          |
   |                                                                         |
   | How to Accomplish: Just take the key you got and open the chest. What   |
   | a waste of a quest...                                                   |
   |                                                                         |
   o-------------------------------------------------------------------------o



==============================================================================
                                   Bosses                    
==================================================================[BAC-BOS]===


There aren't a whole lot of bosses in this game, but here are the strategies
I've got for them.

I personally considered FOUR things in the game to be a boss. There are parts
of the game that give you an "End of Level" challenge, such as Z.I.M.O.N.'s
color game, but they aren't boss material. I also never did consider the enemy
'Raphael' to be a boss, given his extremely limited move-set.

Anyway's, here's the bosses in the game:



 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
 | Boss Battle -                  Mineorque                   - Boss Battle |
 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Our first boss fight! The Mineorque is rather challenging! Get too far |
 |   from him and he'll use hit drill attack on you (which you can't avoid) |
 |   but he has several close attacks as well, including a basic hit, a     |
 |   flamethrower attack, and a spinning circle attack. However, he'll also |
 |   summon several lesser orques to come help him out from time to time.   |
 |                                                                          |
 |   The best time to kill the lesser orques (or at least the ranged ones)  |
 |   is when Mineorque is doing his flame attack. Be careful of his flames  |
 |   and have 3-5 health potions ready and you'll win without much trouble. |
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+


 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
 | Boss Battle -                 Conductorque                 - Boss Battle |
 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Ah, the Conductorque. This battle will start out with a spotlight      |
 |   coming on stage. Do NOT stand in the light, as it will hurt you. You   |
 |   will then fight a free-for-all against some minor enemies until the    |
 |   Condcutorque comes out.                                                |
 |                                                                          |
 |   The first thing you should know is that he really only has two         |
 |   attacks: a ligtning attack that he does from range and a melee attack  |
 |   for when you get close to him. He's level 13, and his melee hit does   |
 |   hurt, so we want to stay away (I find that his lightning attack        |
 |   doesn't really hurt that bad). SO, what I like to do is unleash        |
 |   charged range attacks at him while keeping my distance. I also used    |
 |   a ranged JUSTICE weapon as well. You could also put down some          |
 |   invulnerability orbs and do melee if you wish.                         |
 |                                                                          |
 |   As the Conductorque takes damage, he will stop and summon musicians    |
 |   onto the stage. These musicians will play music as he conduct, which   |
 |   will heal him, but only if you let the musicians live! They will fall  |
 |   easily, so quickly take them out! As the battle wears on, a second     |
 |   spotlight will come on stage as well. With a good ranged strategy and  |
 |   a stock of potions and food, you should emerge the victor in this      |
 |   battle.                                                                |
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+


 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
 | Boss Battle -              The World Serpent               - Boss Battle |
 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Well, this fight is interesting. Let's go through his attacks first,   |
 |   shall we? His most basic attack is a standard melee attack (bite),     |
 |   which he'll of course do when you're on him. His standard range attack |
 |   is spitting a HOMING fireball at you, making it hard to run and heal.  |
 |   Block these. He also does the "Jump on top of you" attack that you've  |
 |   seen other dragons do in the game, so be careful of that as well. His  |
 |   last attack consists of splashing oil on the ground and than lighting  |
 |   it on fire! Yikes!                                                     |
 |                                                                          |
 |   The special thing to note about this boss fight is that fact that The  |
 |   World Serpent is a GOD... meaning you can't kill him. He'll just come  |
 |   back, like you do. You still need to fight though. After you "kill"    |
 |   him, he'll drop a WEAPON, then he'll split into small enemies. What    |
 |   you need to do is pick up the weapon and note that it is AUTOMATICALLY |
 |   EQUIPPED to your 'X' button. Only with that certain weapon can you     |
 |   kill the small enemies. Be sure to leave ONE small enemy alive and     |
 |   heal yourself before killing it. Once you kill all the small enemies,  |
 |   the big version will come back! You need to go through this FOUR TIMES |
 |   before you "win". Also note that as you fight and take him out, he     |
 |   gains slight abilities, such as splashing more of the ground with oil  |
 |   per oil attack. Just keep at it and you'll win.                        |
 |                                                                          |
 |   For entertainment purposes, I wrote down what weapons he drops when    |
 |   you defeat him and on what phase. I also wrote down the NAMES of the   |
 |   smaller enemies that show up. Note that you break the weapons as you   |
 |   use them, but they go to your inventory. You CANNOT repair or use them |
 |   after that, as far as I know.                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Phase One Weapon: The Sword Of Umlaut                                  |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Names of Enemies: Envy, Hatred, Lust.                                  |
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Phase Two Weapon: Hammer Of Olaff The Illiterate                       |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Names of Enemies: Mondays, Smoking, DLC, Spamvertisements,             |
 |                     Poor Parking.                                        |
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Phase Three Weapon: Club Of Emily Dickinson                            |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Names of Enemies: Creative Directors, Organized Religion, Evolution,   |
 |                     Dentistry, Trans Fats, Celtic Dancing, Golf.         |
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Phase Four Weapon: Golden Axe of Emperor Piotr                         |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Names of Enemies: Trout, Forum Trolling, TV Movies, Fatty Foods,       |
 |                     Marketing, Teenage Vampires, 3D TV, Cell Phones,     |
 |                     Godwin's Law.                                        |
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+


 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
 | Boss Battle -                  Anti-Spank                  - Boss Battle |
 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Finally, the beast we've been waiting on all day. You'll only be       |
 |   fighting against the beasts upper-torso. You'll have THREE targets in  |
 |   this battle: His two arms and his torso. Before telling you what I     |
 |   like to do, let's review his attacks. First of all, each arm is        |
 |   carrying a weapon, and each arm can smash that weapon down. When you   |
 |   are out of melee range, he will shoot slightly-homing ranged attacks   |
 |   at you. As the fight wears on, he will also spawn orque enemies (about |
 |   three to four at a time) to go hurt you. Lastly, towards the end of    |
 |   the fight, he will fire laser-beams out of his eyes (to protect his    |
 |   torso health-bar).                                                     |
 |                                                                          |
 |   Being the last fight, you want to pull all the stops here. 30+ cakes,  |
 |   max on every healing item, etc... I also like to use engorge potions   |
 |   for the armor and damage increases. What I like to do is kill off each |
 |   of his arms from RANGE with charged attacks when I can get away with   |
 |   it. Deal with the orques as they come. You can also use you            |
 |   invulnerabilty orbs to get some shots in and any other potions you     |
 |   want to use.                                                           |
 |                                                                          |
 |   With both arms dead, I like to take on the torso at range to, then run |
 |   in and use my Justice Attack (I had the 'Rotary Saw of Slicing') when  |
 |   my gauge got full. Whatever you do, keep your health up as those laser |
 |   beams can drop you FAST. Keep up the attack and you'll soon win.       |
 |                                                                          |
 |                                                                          |
 +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+



==============================================================================
                                 Card Upgrades                   
==================================================================[BAC-CRD]===


Here are the cards that you can pick from when you level up in the game. This
list is somewhat important as each card actually gives you TWO stat increases
eventually, and you can plan for what you want by looking at this list.

Also note that you can't just "Eventually get every card". Sorry, it doesn't
work like that. Too many cards, not enough levels.

If you're playing solo, you can just plain skip Sparkles. The most important
cards to get are Tankko and Steve. Once you have those, everything else is
secondary.



 - Tankko

      Level 1: +10% More Health.

      Level 2: +10% More Health, +15% More Resistance.

      Level 3: +20% More Health, +15% More Resistance.

      Level 4: +20% More Health, +25% More Resistance.


 - Roesha

      Level 1: +10% More Reflect Dmg.

      Level 2: +10% More Reflect Dmg, +15% More Bash Stun Time.

      Level 3: +20% More Reflect Dmg, +15% More Bash Stun Time.

      Level 4: +20% More Reflect Dmg, +25% More Bash Stun Time.


*Note: Can someone confirm the level 3 and 4 stats for me.
       I'm guessing here. Appreciate it.


 - Sparkles

      Level 1: +10% More Sidekick Dmg.

      Level 2: +10% More Sidekick Dmg, +15% More Health.

      Level 3: +20% More Sidekick Dmg, +15% More Health.

      Level 4: +20% More Sidekick Dmg, +25% More Health.


 - Steve

      Level 1: +10% More Melee Dmg.

      Level 2: +10% More Melee Dmg, +15% More Ranged Dmg.

      Level 3: +20% More Melee Dmg, +15% More Ranged Dmg.

      Level 4: +20% More Melee Dmg, +25% More Ranged Dmg.


 - Eubrick

      Level 1: Use Armor 1 level higher.

      Level 2: Use Armor 1 level higher, Use Weapon 1 level higher.

      Level 3: Use Armor 2 level higher, Use Weapon 1 level higher.

      Level 4: Use Armor 2 level higher, Use Weapon 2 level higher.


*Note: Can someone confirm the level 2, 3, and 4 stats for me.
       I'm guessing here. Appreciate it.


- Bob

      Level 1: Move 5% Faster.

      Level 2: Move 5% Faster, Eat 15% Faster.

      Level 3: Move 10% Faster, Eat 15% Faster.

      Level 4: Move 10% Faster, Eat 25% Faster.



==============================================================================
                                  Trophies                 
==================================================================[BAC-TRO]===


Here's a list of all the trophies in the game, their value, and how to nab
them. You'll get most of these simply by following the guide. Listed in the
order they're in on the PlayStation.


Tea, Earl Grey, hot. (Bronze) - Program a Replicator.

You'll get this by playing the game.


Bashing Success (Bronze) - Shield Bash 1000 Times.

Yikes! This sounds hard, but it isn't. Just bash throughout the game. You can
check your stat book to see how many you've done. Also, you can go to an area
full of chickens and bash them, which counts towards your total. The best
place (and where I did it at) is the Rainbow's End Outhouse.


Never tell me the odds (Silver) - Perform a 10x attack chain.

This one is pretty easy, just use two different weapons in two different
slots and alternate between them. Either do it to something with a lot of
health or do it in a place with a lot of enemies. You can do this with two
different weapons of ANY kind (including ranged).


Blade Ruiner (Bronze) - Kill 100 Cyborques.

You'll get this by playing the game.


Who Wants to Live Forever? (Bronze) - Become a God.

This is easier than it sounds. Just finish the quest "Twelfth Labor" to get
this trophy.


Reflectology (Silver) - Reflect 100 Ranged Attacks.

Simply get good at reflecting. Practice and repetition is the only way to get
this one. 


Stay on Target. (Bronze) - Reach Level 20.

Fairly easy to get by playing the game. If you don't get this by the time you
beat it, just go grind on the end game enemies for awhile.


Game Over Man! (Silver) - Beat the game on any difficulty.

You'll get this by playing the game.


Are you not entertained? (Bronze) - Become the Tournament Champion.

Refer to the guide's section on the tournament if you need help.


Take a #3 (Bronze) - Find all 41 Outhouses.

Well, I number the outhouses in the guide, so you COULD count them down. I'll
bet there's some maps of the outhouses out there on them interwebs, too...


Death Blossom (Gold) - Beat the game on Insane difficulty.

You can only unlock 'Insane Difficulty' by beating the game, meaning you'll
esentially have to play through the game twice.


Predator (Silver) - Kill 2000 Enemies.

I got this one naturally. If you don't, go kill enemies in lower level areas
until you do! Remember, you can check your stats to see how many enemeis
you've killed up to now.



==============================================================================
                                   Credits                  
==================================================================[BAC-CRE]===


My list of thanks and credits. No man is an island. Except island man, that
guy is great...


Thanks to Hothead for another great DeathSpank game, and the promise of more
which is always cool!

Big thanks to my buddy Thnikaman who played with me. He couldn't do the
whole thing with me, but he helped a ton anyways.


Thanks to gamefaqs users ibrake4dragons and huynh2er for the advice before I
started writing the guide. Appreciate it guys.


Thanks to my buddy Zylicyde, who helped me out by providing the ASCII art
at the top of the guide, and morale support as usual.


And lastly thanks to my family, who gave me the times to do this!


~Fin