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ZELDA SERIES CHARACTER GUIDE
by Adam Marx
=~=TABLE OF CONTENTS=~=
Introduction [INT]
Version History [VER]
Zelda Series Overview [SUM]
The Meat of the Guide [MEA]
Races Compendium [RAC]
Ladies’ Man [LAD]
Thanks [THA]
Legal Garbage [LEG]
Contact Information [CON]
In Closing [INC]
Those numbers in [ ] are to allow you to quickly access the part of the guide
you want to view. Use your Ctrl+F function (on John Hodgemans, I’m not sure
what it is for Jason Longs) to jump to where you need to be. For example, if
you wanted to see the Billy Bob section, whose code was [BIL], you would
press Ctrl+F, then type in ‘[BIL]’, then click ‘Find Next’ twice. Boom! There
you are! It saves on scrolling through the whole document to find what you
need.
=~=INTRODUCTION=~=
[INT]
The Legend of Zelda is my favourite video game series, bar none. I am a FAQs
author. It follows that I would want to write a Legend of Zelda FAQs.
Unfortunately, I’m not the only one who subscribes to this way of thinking.
Quite a few other people like Zelda, too. Plus, I don’t think I could write a
very good walkthrough. These two factors combined mean that any walkthrough I
were to write just wouldn’t be able to compete.
So in a way, I guess this guide is my way around that. Because I’m pro at
NPCs. I actually consider myself a walking encyclopaedia of the Zelda
universe – I’m a real ‘ask me anything’ kind of guy when we’re talking Zelda.
That’s not arrogance, it’s just the truth. >_> Ok, it’s actually arrogance.
So, inspired by various other Nintendo-franchise character and ending guides
(props to them), I composed this one. Snazzy, isn’t it? Of course, I’m not
nearly as talented a writer as some of those genius authors, but I hope you
enjoy my work anyway.
The very first version of this guide contained 69 entries. Obviously, that is
far, far fewer than the number of characters in the series. But most of them
are just not important enough to merit lengthening the guide; if I actually
went over every single one, we’d have a document 1,000 gigs long, and it
would be mostly uninteresting and redundant.
Speaking of redundancy, some characters have been culled to keep the thing
from growing too long. But back to what I was saying, I viewed various
resources to find lists of characters. Characters were considered for
inclusion if they met one of the following criteria:
(1) It played a significant role in the storyline of at least one Zelda game
(2) It played multiple roles of moderate importance (storyline or otherwise)
(3) It intrigues me personally
This method held up very well for the first few versions, at which point I
unconsciously changed the rule to “any character with a known name” (and with
entries like Flute Boy’s, even that boundary is starting to fray). And if I
didn’t happen to know what it was, it’s not in the guide. On top of that, my
new method only applies to games from Twilight Princess onward (at which
point I started playing new games consciously thinking about which characters
would go in and what I might write about them while still playing through.)
As you can see, the basis for selection is painfully arbitrary. If you take a
look and you see that this guide lacks a character you believe should be
included, please let me know.
That about wraps it up. I’m proud of myself; by my standards, that was a
pretty short intro. Onward, and enjoy.
=~=Version History=~=
[VER]
:-Version 1.0 (11.13.06)-:
The initial version of this guide; the state it was in when first posted on
GameFAQs.
:-Version 1.1 (12.17.06)-:
I’m never rushing another guide. Trying to get this one out left large gaps,
an inability to edit for errors before posting and some entertaining but
scandalous silliness, such as my having accidentally left the placeholder
‘DATE GOES HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE’ for the date index for Version 1.0. So
I’ve fixed most of those.
-Created a few new character entries (Grog, Zephos and Cyclos, and some
characters from Tingle RPG), edited some others and created a whole new
section, the Races Compendium.
-Some other information has been added as well, mostly little things.
:-Version 1.2 (02.09.07)-:
Finally added all the information for Twilight Princess, added some profiles
I neglected to put in from before, and fixed some errors.
:-Version 1.3 (05.03.10)—:
Didn’t manage to get it out in time for Spirit Tracks, but everything’s in
there now. Edited for accuracy and readability. Changed ‘Boss Bokoblin’ to
‘King Bulblin.’ Added information for Phantom Hourglass and some Mogitate
Chinkuru characters; about freaking time. A ton more profiles from other
games went in as well, including some I can’t believe I forgot.
=~=Zelda Series Overview=~=
[SUM]
Before we get to the character section itself, I thought I’d give you a brief
look at the Zelda series as a whole. New players might have trouble keeping
up, and returning ones might like a recap, so hopefully this section will
help you avoid confusion. If you’re a seasoned Hyrulean veteran, you can feel
free to skip right over this section, or read it for posterity. It’s probably
worth a skim.
There are a couple of things to keep in mind here. Mainly, there is NO one
definitive timeline for the Zelda series. Certainly, there was one published
on zelda.com years back, and you can devise innumerable fan timelines if you
apply certain rules to the universe (Kirby021591’s is one of the best; check
out any of his Zelda walkthroughs to find it), but really, it’s all
guesswork. Aonuma Eiji, the dude currently in charge of the Zelda franchise,
has stated he eventually intends to solidify the overarching story, but I’ll
believe it when I see it. It’s probably most convenient to think of each game
as self-contained, except in instances where the events of one game
explicitly reference others (for example, Majora’s Mask is irrefutably a
direct sequel to Ocarina of Time) to make a pair.
I could say way more on the subject, but I’ll contain myself.
The next issue is caused by the first. Many weapons, items and –characters-
recur from one game to the next. Sometimes it’s possible they’re the same
thing (for instance, How many Mirror Shields can there possibly be? one must
ask oneself) whereas others are cosmetically different but functionally
identical items, like certain bows. Others, like the Hookshot, may just be
variations on the same design. It’s impossible to know.
As for characters, many of them appear in multiple time periods. Some just
live a really long time (Impa, the Great Deku Tree, Jr), some apparently
time-travel (Tingle) and still others have no explanation for their presence
(Beedle, Zill.) Oh yeah, and of course some have alternate-universe, ancient
ancestor, or reincarnation versions.
Sifting through endless layers of ambiguity is fun, no?
The years of release are for the North American versions. Actually, I guess
just about all the information in this guide comes from the North American
versions, but anyway other regions may be different.
The Legend of Zelda
Japanese: Zeruda no Densetsu
Nintendo Entertainment System
Released: 1986
Since there’s no clear storyline, let’s look at them one-by-one, in the order
that they emerged in the real world. That means we kick-start the section
with the original Legend of Zelda. Being that it’s the first one in the
series, it’s hard to write about, because if you look at it from an industry
standpoint, everything’s an innovation, and if you look at it from a series
standpoint, everything’s a franchise standard. But look! I just took up a
whole paragraph talking about the paragraph itself! Well played, self.
*congratulates self*
I might as well say SOMETHING, though, so let’s do a brief overview. Ganon,
evil pig lord and main villain of the series, possesses the Triforce of
Power, and seeks to earn the Triforce of Wisdom as well. (No Triforce of
Courage, that came later.) But it was Princess Zelda who had Wisdom, and when
he tried to take it from her, she magically broke it into eight pieces and
hid the shards in a collection of dangerous catacombs throughout Hyrule. On a
chance encounter, Zelda’s handmaiden Impa apprised a lad named Link of the
situation, and he took charge, recovered the pieces after many harrowing
adventures, and finally gained the power to face Ganon head-on. In the
process, he introduced many elements that would later become Zelda staples,
like the acquisition of tools, inevitable confrontations with bosses and the
magic number eight (in regards to the number of dungeons a game contains,
plus the final level.) Hmm...on second thought, I guess that wasn’t so hard
to write about, after all.
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link
Japanese: Zeruda no Densetsu: Rinku no Bouken
Nintendo Entertainment System
Released: 1988
Man, I hate this game so much. I finally got a copy almost four years ago,
and I’m still stuck on the fourth level. (Edit: I did eventually beat it.) If
I wanted Castlevania-style gameplay, I would play Castlevania. If you don’t
know what I’m talking about, Zelda II is completely different from others in
the series. Others have a top-down or 3D perspective, but Zelda II has a top-
down overworld view, then switches to an action side-scroller for random
battle and dungeon sequences. This is because it wasn’t an adventure game,
but an action-RPG – and I myself was skilled in neither the action nor the
RPG genre. For me, this game is frickin’ HARD (while I laughed out loud when
I read that someone had tried over twenty times to beat Ganon in Ocarina of
Time – I did it one try and only took about ten hearts of damage, and I know
that’s a lot worse than some people. It all depends on your personal skills,
eh?) But on the bright side, Zelda II (stupid, stupid title) introduced magic
spells to Link’s arsenal, some of which are VERY cool, to say nothing of the
exceptionally well-done finale.
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
Japanese: Zeruda no Densetsu: Kamigami no Toraifousu
Super Nintendo Entertainment System
Released: 1992
Ha ha, get it? Get it?? A Link to the Past is the second of three Zelda games
with irritating English titles. It was renamed because Triforce of the Gods
sounded too religious. But let’s move on, before my trend of failing to talk
about the game itself gets out of hand. Past is one of the games that many
consider to be the best in the series. The pak made the important
contribution of the Master Sword, which has stood long since – the first
Zelda had a Magical Sword, but who knows what the story is there. Though not
in terms of hours, it’s also the longest to date: There was an introductory
dungeon, then a set of three, then a set of seven and THEN the final boss
dungeon. But what really set it apart was its Light World/Dark World feature.
You see, the Golden Land of the Triforce was originally a mirror image of
Hyrule (the Light World), with minor differences. Ganon’s evil transformed it
into the Dark World. You eventually gained the ability to travel between the
two, and navigating the world suddenly became insanely fun. Use the Rooster
to fly to Death Mountain...plumb the depths of the caves...come out on a
ledge near a portal to the Dark World...jump down a ways...use the Magic
Mirror to return to the Light World...then go left a ways and you’re there at
last. True story.
The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening
Japanese: Zeruda no Densetsu: Yume wo Miru Shima
Gameboy
Released: 1993
Apparently as a result of player demand, the Big N finally cranked out some
portable Moblin-bashing. By some interpretations, Link’s Awakening is a
direct sequel to A Link to the Past. Either way, on a voyage to condition his
body and mind in preparation for possible future catastrophes, Link is
shipwrecked and wakes up on Koholint Island. I don’t know what a Koholint is,
but the Japanese title seems to literally be ‘island that sees a dream,’ or
Dreaming Island (I’m a learner of Japanese.) Anyway, Koholint Island is quite
an interesting place, from the giant egg that sits on its tallest mountain to
the village populated entirely by talking animals. Link quested to enter the
egg with the eight Instruments of the Sirens, and find a way back home. I
like this game a lot.
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Japanese: Zeruda no Densetsu: Toki no Okarina
Nintendo 64
Released: 1998
Probably the most popular Zelda title. I can see why, but...amazing graphics
aren’t everything, guys. (And you young ones snickering at them? Shut up.
They were stupendous at the time.) At any rate, the level design is more than
competent and the mix of old and new is commendable. Ocarina of Time built on
some of the core elements of A Link to the Past, including its 3/5 dungeon
dichotomy, the method by which the Master Sword is gained, and the dual-world
scheme – though in this case, it’s the present and future of the same world
rather than two separate worlds, and your ability to switch between the two
is severely limited. Anyway, a fine entry indeed.
The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask
Japanese: Zeruda no Densetsu: Majora no Kamen
Nintendo 64
Released: 2000
Ocarina of Time was so well received, they decided to release a direct sequel
to it, utilising the same engine and resources. To me, that makes Ocarina so
much less special, but once I got into it (Majora’s Mask takes a while to get
moving) I may have liked it even better. This one is set in a parallel
version of Hyrule, called Termina. They have a somewhat similar world. You’ll
meet many of the same characters, this time with names, but Termina is more
tribal than civic. Oh yeah, and the game’s main antagonist has set the moon
on a collision course that will obliterate the planet, plus Hyrule. The
three-day time limit can be reset again and again, but this also resets
events – all you’ll keep is the items you’ve collected, which is enough. The
jury’s out on this one; you’ll find the three-day system either brilliant, or
annoying as hell.
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons
Japanese: Zeruda no Densetsu: Fushigi no Ko no Mi Daichi no Shou
Gameboy Colour
Released: 2001
During development, Oracle of Seasons and Ages were originally called
‘gaiden,’ meaning side-stories. That’s not entirely inaccurate. You could
even go as far as to say they were just to keep players going between console
entries, but even if that’s true they are still excellent standalone
adventures. Nut of the Mysterious Tree: Chapter of Earth is the easier and
less interesting of the two. This one tracked Link as he used the Rod of
Seasons, a magical device that he could use to change the seasons at will, to
deny General Onox his dream of conquering Holodrum.
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages
Japanese: Zeruda no Densetsu: Fushigi no Ko no Mi Jikuu no Shou
Gameboy Colour
Released: 2001
Released concurrently with Oracle of Seasons, Nut of the Mysterious Tree:
Chapter of Time and Space is more puzzle-oriented, and probably the superior
game overall. We were a little squeamish when we found out that Zelda had
been handed out to Capcom, but it all turned out all right. Link gained the
Harp of Ages, another time-travelling instrument – as well as one that
allowed another dual-world system, this one being the present and 400 years
in the past. Link used it to fight the Sorceress Veran as she strove to
conquer Labrynna. The biggest feature of the Oracle games was that when you
completed one, you got a password. This password could be entered into the
other game when you started a new file, allowing you to start off with the
Wooden Sword (instead of looking for it) and an extra Heart Container. It
also unlocked additional content and many special items unavailable the first
time through.
The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords
Japanese: Zeruda no Densetsu: Yottsu no Tsurugi
Gameboy Advance
Released: 2002
When A Link to the Past was re-released for GBA, it also included a small,
multiplayer-only game on the same pak. It introduced a new villain, Vaati,
and had the players attempt madcap challenges as they cooperated to complete
a level, yet competed to collect the most Rupees. While it got even more fun
as more players were added, most people who bought the re-release probably
didn’t have the hardware needed for Four Swords.
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Japanese: Zeruda no Densetsu: Kaze no Takuto
Nintendo GameCube
Released: 2003
Despite its obvious flaws, The Wind Waker is my favourite Zelda game. Some
people will blanch at that statement, but I love it, and I’m letting you
know, even though you don’t need to. Although that name...Waker is not
technically a word. (Neither is GameCube, of course...) Anyway, for some
reason which I won’t spoil, the game does not take place in our usual Hyrule,
but on the high seas. As a result, your adventure involves a fair bit of
searching for sunken treasure, firing cannon and exploring small islands in a
cel-shaded, superlively world that really irked a lot of people. But if you
wanted realism, boy, did you ever pick the wrong series. Another area of
complaint was that travelling across the ocean was too boring. I thought it
was neat, myself. Fortunately this isn’t a critical review, or we’d be here
forever as I argued my case.
The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures
Japanese: Zeruda no Densetsu: Yottsu no Tsurugi Purasu
Nintendo GameCube
Released: 2004
Not only did Four Swords+ expand on the original and bring it to a console,
it also offered the option of a single-player mode that didn’t require a GBA
or the GCN-GBA cable. Pretty sweet. The story is quite similar, but the game
is much, much, much longer, and will probably take about 20 hours to complete
rather than an hour and a half. Each stage takes about twenty minutes, I’d
say. There’s also a shallow yet intense battle mode.
The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
Japanese: Zeruda no Densetsu: Fushigi no Boushi
Gameboy Advance
Released: 2005
The title’s Mysterious Hat is Ezlo, who has a great plot that you can read
about in the guide itself if you want it spoiled for you. When we meet him,
Ezlo finds Link in the forest, latches onto his head just like a Metroid, and
gives him access to yet another dual-world system. This time, our boy can go
‘twixt the Hylian-sized world and that of the inch-high Minish people. From
this unique vantage point, Hyrule doubles in size as you explore huge
dungeons stretching almost a metre in any direction. This innovative use of
the diminutive form gets a thumbs-up from me, but like The Wind Waker, whose
general style it follows, it is so short I have to wonder if development was
rushed.
Freshly-Picked! Tingle’s Rosy Rupee Land
Japanese: Mogitate Chinkuru no Barairo Rupiirando
Nintendo DS
Released: 2006
Personally I prefer the more literal translation of ‘rose-coloured’ over
‘rosy,’ but, even though they place a hyphen where there shouldn’t be one,
we’ll go with what the PAL version says – for the rest of the guide I’ve been
going NTSC, that being my region (points to own username), but we in NA never
got a version to call our own, evidently due to a lack of demand for
localization. I finally found a copy while on exchange, though given my
Japanese ability I’d say my understanding of the game is probably incomplete
at best. I can say with certainty that it is a gaiden telling the origin
story of the enigmatic Tingle; the game basically has him on a quest for
Rupees, chatting up the townsfolk, opening up brave new frontiers, showing
off the DS’s capabilities with touch-screen based boss battles, and all that
good stuff. All right, it’s somewhat deeper than that, but it IS a children’s
game, so not by much.
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Japanese: Zeruda no Densetsu: Towairaito Purinsesu
Nintendo GameCube/Wii
Released: 2006
This game broke ground in several ways: It was the first game to receive an
ESRB evaluation more dangerous than E (it got a T rating), for example, and
it was the first to be released on two consoles concurrently. I won’t get
into all the reasons why the game irked me, because we’d be here for a year,
but they are definitely there. Despite this, the game is still really good.
It marks a return to the inexplicably popular “realistic” style, a much
darker tone, a heavier emphasis on storytelling, a Hyrule under siege by
another plane of existence, and a cool new mechanic in the shape of Link’s
ability to assume wolf form.
Tingle’s Balloon Fight
Japanese: Chinkuru no Baruun Faito
Nintendo DS
Released: 2007
I hate Club Nintendo. I hate it with a passion. Club Nintendo is Nintendo of
Japan’s consumer incentive programme, offering a certain number of ‘points’
with each purchase, which can then be redeemed for sweet merchandise. Works a
little like Air Miles. I guess it’s ok that they come up with really cool
stuff to give out to dedicated customers as a little thank-you for their
patronage, but it’s really hard to actually earn any kind of significant
number of points, and they’re always coming out with wicked must-have
items...items that nearly all of us can never have. And in particular, I’d
vaguely feel like my Zelda collection was somehow incomplete without this
little...thing...even though it’s pretty much just a retread of a mildly
popular 80’s NES game with Tingle cast as the new main character. Luckily, I
am armed with a fan’s grave dedication and an eBay account. It’s the second
NTSC-J game to make its way into my hoard, being that it’s JP-only. The
plastic it was wrapped in said “SECOND SALE” on it, so I think its previous
owner must himself have bought it at Book-Off or something. Oh, incidentally,
let’s say a few words about the game itself. Fly around, fire projectiles,
pop balloons, send your opponent hurtling towards the ground to their death,
is the general idea.
The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass
Japanese: Zeruda no Densetsu: Mugen no Sunadokei
Nintendo DS
Released: 2007
Series creator Miyamoto expressed a desire to create a fully touch-driven
Zelda game, and he delivered. The system was certainly far from perfect; I
think if the title had come farther along in the system’s life, once Nintendo
had had more of a chance to test total touch control with other properties,
it would have been a lot better. As it is, despite a few grating issues, the
overall result is not bad at all. It’s kinda cool, moving Link around with
the stylus, and some of his tools and weapons are implemented very cleverly.
The game is ridiculously easy, though, and despite being a direct sequel to
The Wind Waker, it draws next to no reference to that game, instead focussing
on the shenanigans of Link and new companions Ciela and Linebeck as they
search for truth and money, respectively. The titular object of significance
holds the sand that slowly sifts away but allows Link to venture into the
deep Temple of the Ocean King, the supposed ‘one big dungeon’ we’d heard so
much about but turned out to be kind of unimpressive. Whatever; like Metroid
II for GameBoy, it’s not a fantastic entry in the series, but is still one of
the better games for the system.
Link’s Crossbow Training
Japanese: Rinku no Bougan Toreiningu
Wii
Released: 2008
Less a game and more a tech demo, Link’s Crossbow Training was packaged with
the Wii Zapper peripheral to entice people to buy it. The boys and girls in
Marketing were right about me wanting the game, but wrong about me being
willing to shell out for a Zapper to get it...or so I thought! Tragically, my
desire for a new copy eventually came to outweigh my patience. Since it’s a
side-game, it’s fairly simplistic: In a world based on the Twilight Princess
aesthetic (GameCube version), we help Link brush up on his skills with the
ol’ repeating crossbow, in various galleries and even some brief dungeons,
where he must vanquish his enemies not through skilful swordsmanship, but by
shooting them in the face.
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Japanese: Zeruda no Densetsu: Daichi no Kiteki
DS
Released: 2009
I may have had my misgivings with Phantom Hourglass, but Train Whistle of the
Earth addresses nearly all of them. What’s more, it’s quite simply just a
much more well-rounded game. If uniqueness were quantifiable, which it
grammatically isn’t, Spirit Tracks would be one of the most unique games in
the series. Its central mechanic revolves around operating a steam engine,
which is not only a huge jump in technology but something totally unlike
anything we’ve ever done in a Zelda game before. I just hope this doesn’t
mean we’re taking the FFVI-VIII route with the series...although I guess that
could work out. Spirit Tracks may also connect the earlier games, storyline-
wise, with the more ‘modern’ ones, as it concerns the fate of the country
that the Link and Zelda of the Great Sea founded.
Ripening Tingle’s Balloon Trip of Romantic Love
Japanese: Irozuki Chinkuru no Koi no Baruun Torippu
DS
Released: 2009
I haven’t yet had a chance to add this one to my collection, so this is all
secondhand information, but this one seems to be an alternate origin story
for Tingle, which is just plain irritating. Whereas the last one had the
whole RPG schwerve going, this one had the ‘old-school point-and-click
adventure game’ formula that fans of the late 90s are always complaining
there aren’t enough of anymore. It’s a heavy take-off of The Wizard of Oz,
which really turns me off of it, but if it’s even tangentially Zelda you know
I’m going to enjoy it on principle.
--A Note on Main Series versus Side Series--
Here’s a mildly interesting story about how a minor FAQs-writing problem led
me to an observation about Zelda games that will be interesting to only the
hardest of hardcore fans, and maybe not even them, so you may want to skip
this section altogether. I won’t be mad.
The classification between main games and side games was nonexistent until
Nintendo released a handful of the latter. Specifically, I’m talking about
the Zapper game and Tingle’s three games. The RPG is a gaiden (side story),
but the other two are plotless extras.
This presented a problem that took me some time to figure out. Every
character has a chronological list of all the games they’ve made an
appearance in. I obviously can’t just ignore these games, but I really didn’t
want to uglify the lists by shoving them in there haphazardly. It really
didn’t feel right putting ‘Freshly Picked Tingle’s Rose-Coloured Rupeeland’
up next to the likes of ‘Twilight Princess.’
I came up with the solution when the other two games came out. These three, I
realise, don’t begin with the phrase ‘Zeruda no Densetsu.’ This strongly
reminded me of the Kirby series, another Nintendo favourite. In Japan, the
titles of all main-series Kirby games begin with ‘Hoshi no Kaabii,’ Kirby of
the Stars. The ‘side games,’ ones that see Kirby playing puyo or engaging in
competive cartoon star-racing, don’t have the ‘Hoshi no Kaabii.’
The rule doesn’t work perfectly with the English titles, but I figured out I
could apply a similar rule to Zelda. Tingle’s game doesn’t start with ‘Zeruda
no Densetsu.’ It’s not a main game; neither is its sequel, such as it is. The
other two don’t even have plots. I now have grounds to remove them from the
main list, and make a separate list. This serves the additional purpose of
preserving certain claims of mine, such as that Princess Zelda has appeared
in every Zelda game. Every LEGEND OF Zelda game.
Wikipedia, separately, picked up on this too, and made the same
classification. Great minds. For me, this was an interesting adventure in
FAQs-writing, and a fascinating development in Zelda as a brand.
=~=The Meat of the Guide=~=
[MEA]
Okay, we’ve finally arrived! This is the reason you came here. Below is a
list of every character profiled in this guide. There’s quite a few of them,
eh?
To jump to a specific character, use the Find function, and type the first
three or so letters of their name with a space between them. So to find
Mario’s entry (to be clear, Mario doesn’t actually have an entry, this is
just an example), you would hit Ctrl+F, search for ‘M A R’, and click Find.
Teleport! *Twilight Zone three-tone theme plays*
Some characters share lots of letters with others, so you may need to do more
than three, or maybe they use rare letters and a mere two will do the trick.
Until I come up with a way to give characters a code that doesn’t have to be
changed every time I add new entries, this is all I got for you. I apologize
for the inconvenience.
If you think there’s a notable absence, just search for the name normally and
you may find that rather than take up space with their own gratuitous
profile, a character has been incorporated into somebody else’s.
By the way, need I actually say that this guide contains huge spoilers for
basically every game in the series?
???
Agahnim
Agitha
Alfonzo
Anjean
Anju and Kafei
Ankle
Anouki
Aroo
Astrid
Bagu
Barnes
Beaver Brothers
Beedle
Belari
Bellum
Biggoron and Medigoron
Bipin and Blossom
Blade Brothers
Blaino
Blind the Thief
Bridge Worker
Brocco and Pina
Bombers Gang
Bug-Catching Kid
Byrne
Cannon
Captain Keeta
Carlov and Borlov
Carpenters
Chancellor Cole
Charlo
Chef Bear
Chris Houlihan
Christine
Chudley
Ciela
Composer Brothers
Coro
Crazy Tracy
Cubus Sisters
Cucco Lady
Daltus
Dampe
Dark Link
Darmani
Darunia
David Jr.
Dekadin
Deku Royal Family
Demon Train
Din, Nayru and Farore
Doc Bandam
Don Gero
Donkuru
Epona
Error
Ezlo
Facade
Fado
Fanadi
Ferrus
Flute Boy
Freedle
Fuzo
Fyer and Falbi
Gabora and Zubora
Ganon
General Onox
Gestari
Golden Chief Cylos
Gongoron
Good Bee
Goron Elder
Gossack
Great Deku Tree
Great Fairy
Grog
Gustaf, Royal Spirit
Guru-Guru
Hanch
Happy Mask Salesman
Helmaroc King
Hena
Hero’s Spirit
Honcho
Honey and Darling
Hot Rodder Goron
Igos du Ikana
Ilia
Impa
Indigo-Gos
Ingo
Iza
Jabu-Jabu
Jalhalla, Protector of the Seal
Joanne
Jolene
Jovani
Kagoron
Kaepora Gaebora
Kamaro
Kamo
Keaton
Kiki
Kili, Hanna, and Misha
Killer Bees
King Bulblin
King Moblin
King Mutoh and his Knights
King of Red Lions
King Zora
Know-it-All Brothers
Knuckle
Komali
Koume and Kotake
Laruto
Lenzo
Librari
Light Spirits
Linda
Linebeck
Linebeck III
Link
Link’s relatives
Link-goro
Lokomos
Madame Aroma
Madame MeowMeow
Mad Batter
Malladus
Majora’s Mask
Makar
Maku Trees
Malladus
Malon and Talon
Mama
Mamamu Yan
Manbo
Man of Smiles
Maple and Syrup
Master Eddo
Master Stalfos
Mayor Bo
Mayor Dotour
Mayor Hagen
Mayor Plen
Mayor Ruul
Medli
Melari
Merman
Midna
Mido
Mikau
Mila and Maggie
Minister Potho
Miss Marie
Mr. Write
Nabooru
Navi
Nightmares
Nyave and Nyeve
Obli and Willi
Ocean King (Oshus)
Old Man and Old Woman
Old Man Ho Ho
Old Man Ulrira and Grandma Ulrira
Old Wayfarer
Oocoo
Ordon Village Kids
Pamela
Papahl
Patch
Pergie and Jaggle
Phantom Guide
Photographer
Pierre and Bonooru
Pinkuru
Postman
Professor Shikashi
Purdy
Purlo
Queen Ambi
Quill
Rabbit Rescuer
Rafton
Ralis
Ralph
Rauru
Rem
Renado
Richard
Ricky, Moosh and Dimitri
River Devil
Romanos
Rosa
Rosa Sisters
Rupiiji
Russel
Rusl
Ruto
Sahasrahla
Sale
Salvage Corp.
Salvatore
Saria
Schule Donavitch
Sera
Shiro
Simon
Skull Kid and Friends
Soal
Sokra
Sorceress Veran
Spirits of Good
Spirits of Power, Wisdom, and Courage
Stockwell
Sturgeon and Orca
Sue-Belle
Teacher
Telma
Tetra’s Crew
Tingle
Tott
Trill
Uli
Vaati
Valoo
Vasu
Viscen
Wheaton and Pita
Wind Fish
Yeto and Yeta
Zant
Zauz
Zelda
Zill
Zephos and Cyclos
Zora
Zunari
=============================================================================
? ? ?
The Hand that Rocks the Toilet
Race: ???
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
Oracle of Ages
Wow, what a way to start off the guide. And with an exceedingly obscure
reference no less; if you’re reading this guide from top to bottom, get used
to it. So what we have here is...a hand, that appears out of the Stock Pot
Inn’s toilet. But only at night. And whatever it’s attached to is never
revealed, although personally I like to think it’s just a hand and no more.
Or maybe there’s a Dead Hand skulking down there, man, I don’t know.
In both of its appearances, ??? requires some kind of paper from you. Yeah.
This can be anything, from any any type of Title Deed to a note for Kafei
from his mother. In the case of Oracle of Ages, Link offers up some Postman-
brand Stationery. Here, though, ??? lives in a hole in a house in Lynna City,
so it may not be a toilet. On the other hand (so to speak), he gives Link the
Stink Bag in return. That was a little less welcome of a reward than the
Heart Piece he’d previously rolled out. Oh and by the way, ??? is actually
listed as such in the Bombers Notebook. I mean, I find it kind of interesting
that he even HAS an entry in the Bombers Notebook.
Come to think of it, this is probably one of the more mysterious characters
in the Zelda universe. Wonderful.
=============================================================================
A g a h n i m
Sorcerer-puppet
Race: Hylian
Appearances: A Link to the Past
Link’s Awakening
Oracle of Seasons
Shortly before the beginning of A Link to the Past, perhaps a year, an
endless chain of catastrophic natural disasters befell Hyrule. Typhoons,
earthquakes and floods wracked the land, causing massive collateral damage
and killing many people. Their origin could not be discerned, and they were
so large even the best magicians failed to end the threat. The King of Hyrule
could only watch in despair as his kingdom was slowly worn down.
Just when it seemed Hyrule was ready to give out, a wizard from a faraway
land appeared and, with some effort, put a stop to everything that was
happening. He was greeted as a hero and the King gratefully took him on as
advisor. With his suggestions taken into account, Hyrule prospered once
again.
But in reality, well...Ganon is many things, but an idiot is not one of them.
After his first duel with Link, he was imprisoned in the Golden Land, where
he stayed for hundreds of years. All this time, he plotted a means of escape,
transforming it into the sinister Dark World over time. Agahnim actually was
a kind wizard to begin with, so how he got to be under Ganon’s dominion is
unclear. At any rate, Ganon possesses the poor old man to use as his puppet,
then begins to exert his growing magical power on the Light World. When the
people of Hyrule are at their most desperate, he sends a false saviour to
them. Through Agahnim, Ganon is able to manipulate the Light World to his
ends. Agahnim begins sacrificing maidens late at night in Hyrule Castle’s
tallest tower, in the hopes of breaking the barrier between the worlds.
After Link collects the Pendants of Power, Courage, and Wisdom, he is able to
draw the Master Sword from its pedestal in the Lost Woods. When he re-
emerges, Agahnim has kidnapped Zelda from the Sanctuary, a place she thought
was safe and unknown to him. Link ascends Hyrule Castle and duels with
Agahnim. In this fight, Agahnim’s main attack is to throw coloured balls of
magical energy at Link, but they can easily be deflect with the Master Sword.
The idea is to smack it back into Agahnim’s body, damaging him with his own
magic. He also has a very powerful attack where he shoots lightning out of
his hands, but it’s so predictable and easy to avoid (just head for one of
the room’s corners) that it isn’t much of a threat.
After he’s beaten, he falls down dead, but Ganon uses the last of his
presence in the Light World to warp Link to the Dark World, where things are
looking bleak, both literally and figuratively. Agahnim reappears later in
the game, as the boss of the final dungeon, Ganon’s Tower. Here, he gains the
ability to briefly become invisible, and some of his magical orb attacks
can’t be deflected. He can also create two shadow clones of himself, which
can distract Link with potentially fatal consequences if he doesn’t know
which ones are which, but their attacks pass right through him. Other than
that, his attack pattern is the same.
At the end of Link’s Awakening, the final boss is a collection of foes from
previous games, and Agahnim is one of them. As with A Link to the Past, to
defeat him you have to deflect his only attack back at him. This form is
pathetically easy. Some people say that it’s easier to deflect his attacks
with the Shovel rather than the Sword, which is not true.
Agahnim also made one final appearance in Oracle of Seasons as the mini-boss
of Level 3, Poison Moth’s Lair. This one works a little differently. The room
starts off dark, with Agahnim and two clones. There are two torches in the
middle of the room, around which the three hover. Link must light the torches
with Ember Seeds from his Seed Satchel, then quickly examine all three
assailants before the light goes out again. The one who casts a shadow is the
real Agahnim, and the only one who can be hurt, by being repeatedly bashed
with a sword. All three can damage Link, however, and it can be tricky to get
a hit in while trying to avoid attacks. It’s never explained how what was
once a powerful figure became relegated to a forgettable mini-boss, but I’d
guess this incarnation was an invention of Ganon.
=============================================================================
A g i t h a
Probably doesn’t deserve to be third on the list
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
Agitha is a very strange girl who loves bugs. Specifically, she’s looking for
24 golden members of the phylum arthropoda, which she asks Link to seek out
so that she can hold Agitha’s Ball at her house, called Agitha’s Castle. She
makes funny little noises, and the way she talks (in third person, for one
thing) and the way she acts have caused some to question her sanity. She even
sends Link a letter telling him about a fairly...interesting dream she has.
Also, she has a peeping tom.
=============================================================================
A l f o n z o
Comfortingly familiar
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Spirit Tracks
Although he bears an uncanny resemblance to Gonzo in both name and body,
possibly an indication of direct lineage, you’ll quickly realise that Alfonzo
is a totally new character with a personal history of his own. Long before
the game opens, he was a legendary swordsman in the ranks of the Royal Guard,
sworn to protect his liege and homeland with all the might within him. He was
generally regarded as the single strongest warrior in the country’s short
history, with the possible exception of Link. However, for one reason or
another he eventually left the order to pursue a career as a train conductor
(mid-life crisis?), which is why we find him a Royal Engineer and our own
mentor as we begin the game.
After reminding Link of the basics of train operation, Alfonzo lauds his
natural talent for the task but waits by the vehicle while Link heads for the
castle to receive his engineering certificate from Princess Zelda. When, to
his surprise, Link actually brings the girl back with him when he returns, he
hears her out and immediately decides to help her reach the Tower of Spirits,
like the hero he really is. When the trio finds themselves ambushed at the
hands of Chancellor Cole and his lackey, Byrne, only minutes later, Alfonzo
steps in to fend them off but is roundly defeated. He spends the next segment
of the game in bed at the Castle, recovering from his injuries, but is well
enough to travel by the time Link vanquishes the Forest Temple, and asks the
young ‘un to deliver him back to Aboda Village, their mutual hometown. Once
here, he assembles a cannon for the Spirit Train and links it up, finally
allowing Link to fight back when assaulted by the monsters and Bokoblins who
harry him at every frickin’ turn in this game. This act signals Alfonzo’s
departure from anything of very much importance, but from here on in he
provides the service of switching out your train cars for you as so please,
in order to attain maximum coolness and Heart Bonus and whatnot, free of
charge even.
=============================================================================
A n j e a n
Lokomo leader
Race: Lokomo
Appearances: Spirit Tracks
At 100 years old, Anjean was present when Tetra, Link and whoever else
finally made landfall as their years-long sojourn finally came to an end. By
her own testimony, she knew the erstwhile Princess of Hyrule rather well, and
entrusted her with the Spirit Flute that she would later pass down to the
Zelda of Spirit Tracks. As a member of the tribe sworn to protect humanity on
behalf of the spirits, Anjean was also likely a participant in the first
battle to chain the evil demon king Malladus.
Some people like to point out that Anjean and Tetra have a similar hairstyle,
as if that means something. Her name is a pun on the word ‘engine,’ the train
part.
The Link of Zelda of the Spirit Tracks era encounter her early on at the
Tower of Spirits, and she immediately becomes the quest-dealer, dishing out
both storyline and objectives. Eventually, she starts to ride around with
them on the Spirit Train, and is present for the final battle. She and Byrne
seem to have some history; it seems to be she who saves his life after his
apparent death at the hands of Malladus.
=============================================================================
A n j u a n d K a f e i
Star-cross’d lovers
Race: Hylians
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
The Skull Kid, under the influence of Majora’s Mask, commits all manner of
deeds which he apparently views as mere mischief, but which are really quite
taxing on their recipients. As the game begins, Anju and Kafei are set to be
married in three days. However, the Skull Kid has transformed Kafei into a
child!
Kafei can’t bear to show his face in this state, so he spends most of his
time hanging around the back room of the Curiosity Shop. He goes to great
lengths to ensure nobody finds out who he is. He arranges for the postman to
give a special signal when he delivers any mail to Kafei, and when the man-
boy does venture out, he wears a Keaton’s Mask and refuses to talk to anyone.
Through the longest and most complicated side-quest in the game, you can
reunite them:
FIRST DAY
-The mayor, the Captain of the Guard and the chief carpenter are arguing in
the mayor’s office. Talk to the mayor’s wife, Madame Aroma. She’ll give you
Kafei’s Mask, which allows you to interrogate people as to whether or not
they’ve seen her son.
-Listen to Anju’s and the postman’s conversation at the Stock Pot Inn – Anju
is the innkeeper. The postman knows where Kafei is, but won’t tell. He would
never sell out a friend, I guess.
-Talk to Anju. She’ll screw up and give away somebody else’s room to you.
Talk to her again to arrange a midnight meeting.
-At midnight, meet Anju in the Stock Pot Inn’s kitchen. She’ll ask you to
deliver a letter, even though she could have just done it herself with much
less effort. Put it in any mailbox.
SECOND DAY
-Witness the postman delivering the letter. Talk to Kafei in the Curiosity
Shop’s back room. He’ll give you the Pendant of Memories.
-Return a little later. The owner will be there now. He has the Keaton’s Mask
and the Express Mail to Mama. Deliver the latter to Madame Aroma to receive
an empty Bottle. Alternately, give it the postman to get the Postman’s Hat
later on.
-Sakon, a local malcontent, stole Kafei’s Sun’s Mask, which is basically an
engagement ring. (Sakon steals other junk too.) Break into his hideout in
Ikana Canyon, accidentally activate the security system, and work through it,
finally recovering the mask.
This marks the first time in Zelda history that players were able to control
someone other than Link. The focus shifted between Link fighting Deku Babas
on one half of the security system and Kafei solving block puzzles on the
other.
With this complete, Link went to see them in the Employees Only room of the
Stock Pot Inn. Kafei finally showed up, but not until the last hour before
the moon hit home. Kafei still looks like a child O_o but they marry each
other in a private and hasty ceremony in which they exchange the Sun’s and
Moon’s Masks, respectively. This forms the Couple’s Mask, which they give to
Link in thanks.
This is truly one of the most emotional scenes in the series, I think. They
hold each other, crying, and say they will greet the coming morning,
together. This is kind of sad, because they know that the instant dawn
arrives, the moon will make planetfall and they’ll both die.
It’s even sadder if you make a mistake and are unable to recover the Sun’s
Mask; if you screw up, you don’t have another shot until you reset the three
day timer and do everything over. If this happens, Anju will still go to the
Employees Only room to wait for Kafei, but he doesn’t show up, no matter how
long you wait. Anju dies alone in extreme grief. Depressing, isn’t it?
But wait! For every side-quest you complete that yields a Happy Mask as its
reward, you get to watch an additional segment of the ending cutscene when
you beat the game. If you do manage to complete this complicated quest,
you’ll see that Anju and Kafei later had a much more elaborate marriage
ceremony just outside the South Entrance, with many attendees and a white
dress and excessive confetti. Ah, it brings a smile to one’s face, unless one
resents happy people. Or has no mouth.
Anju’s poly is reused from Ocarina of Time. In that game, she was called the
Cucco Lady. She lived in Kakariko Village and raised Cuccos (if you aren’t
aware, those are Zeldafied chickens) even though she was allergic to them.
She later bred a special Cucco she wasn’t allergic to, and which played a
part in the Trading Game to get Biggoron’s Sword.
=============================================================================
A n k l e
Footwrist
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
The Minish Cap
One of Tingle’s younger brothers, Ankle appeared in two of the three Zelda
games whose subtitles begin with ‘The.’ Along with Knuckle and David Jr,
Ankle slaved away at spinning Tingle Tower, that it might smile on all
corners of the world. Ankle is much more temperate than his fellows, neither
wondering about his work nor going insane because of it. Like the others,
Ankle wears a Tingle suit, this one pink.
In The Minish Cap, he sits atop a plateau and offers to fuse Kinstone pieces.
Doing so enough times with all four members of the party (what, were we
foreshadowing Tingle RPG or something?) will unbar caves, cause Golden
Monsters to appear and do other unnecessary but worthwhile things.
=============================================================================
A n o u k i
Accurate portrayal of Inuit culture
Race: Anouki
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
Spirit Tracks
The various Anouki of Phantom Hourglass and Spirit Tracks present a unique
problem in that my rule of trying to include all named characters would
stipulate that I put them in here somewhere, but almost none of them do
anything worthwhile. So whatever, here are all the Anouki who have names but
not their own entries, all in one easy-to-digest directory.
The Anouki of PH inhabit the Isle of Frost, but one of the residents of
Anouki Estates is actually a Yook in disguise. How he managed that feat I
don’t know, because Yooks are about twice the size of Anouki. Anyway, Aroo
turns out to be the culprit; Link resuces the real Aroo later. For the
record, these are they:
Aroo
Bulu
Gumo
Kumu
Mazo
There is also another named Anouki, Noabode, who is homeless (get it?
Homeless? No abode?) and just stands at the edge of a cliff, which is
apparently a sign of enjoyment rather than a call for swift intervention.
The Anouki of ST are apparently descendants of the originals, making their
home in a second Anouki Village, this one located in the southwest corner of
the Snow Realm. The problem this time is that their leader, Honcho, wishes to
organize them into patrol pairs, but they’re all stupidly choosy about who
they will or won’t work with. It is therefore Link’s task to figure this
stuff out for them, based on their preferences regarding antler size,
presence of facial hair, colour of parka, etc. He could make a killing as a
matchmaker.
Dobo
Fofo
Kofu
Yefu
Yeko
There’s also a little guy called Noko who manufactures and sells Mega Ice, a
type of freight. When first encountered, he’s in a bind as an Ice Chuchu fell
into the pool he uses for making Mega Ice, but Link takes him to Wellspring
Station and fixes that right up. Noko is extremely protective of his ice-
making techniques, and won’t allow Link to witness them.
=============================================================================
A n t o n
Exercise freak
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
In his capacity as Windfall Island’s beret-wearing heartthrob and most
inquisitve explorer, Anton helps Link out in a couple of ways when he pulls
through. The first is to accidentally impart some critical knowledge that
allows Link to perform a crime. This is owing to his strong desire for
kickboxing cross-training, which leads him to power-walk up, down and across
the vast majority of the island at all hours of the daylight, resultantly
giving him intimate knowledge of all the island’s details, including secret
routes. The other is his direct participation in Link’s receiving a Heart
Piece, which he does when Link sets him up with Linda. He’s almost like one
of Windfall’s mascots.
=============================================================================
A r o o
Kidnapped
Race: Anouki
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
A docile member of Anouki Village on the Isle of Frost, Aroo is kidnapped by
an anomymous Yook who attempts to infiltrate Anouki society by setting up
shop within the belly of the beast, taking his place in day-to-day affairs.
However, despite taking the utmost of care in his clandestine pursuits, the
impostor just can’t sneak anything past the village Chief. Upon meeting Link,
the Chief commissions Link to head to Anouki Estates and determine which of
its occupants is the Yook in disguise by talking to each one of them in turn
and playing a simple logic game in which he combines their statements with
the knowledge that all Yook are compulsive liars. When he finds the
contradiction, Link pins Aroo as the fake. Cornered, the Yook jettisons Link
from the hovel with frigid breath and makes good his escape back to the
eastern, Yook-controlled side of the island. In exchange for the promise of
an eventual Pure Metal, Link gives chase, storms the Temple of Ice, defeats
its master Gleeok, and ends up rescuing Aroo in the process, returning him to
his rightful home.
=============================================================================
A s t r i d
Ostrich
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
Well, ladies and gentlemen, we have a real genius on our hands here. Astrid
is the fortune-teller residing on the Isle of Ember, but she’s kind of
useless. First of all, when you meet her she’s hiding from monsters, and has
locked herself away in a room she doesn’t know how to unlock, even though
it’s in her own house. To open the door, you have to track down the remains
of her dead assistant Kayo and talk to his ghost, since he’s the only one who
knows the secret. Eventually Link frees her from her storage room, after
which she helps him enter the Temple of Fire.
She displays further uselessness after he blazes through it, however, stating
that she’s really not too sure what’s going on exactly. Come on, lady, you
should really be up on this sort of thing. Of course she can predict the
future and let Link know where he needs to head off to next, but Linebeck’s
planning skills serve that same purpose, as do the powers of every other
fortune teller in any Legend of Zelda game ever. That’s all she’s good for,
too – I mean the Twilight Princess seer could show Link the exact location of
Pieces of Heart. I’m not impressed. -.-
Later on, she reveals herself to be a distant descendant of the bygone Cobble
Kingdom, which may be where she came into her farsight.
=============================================================================
A v e i l
Linear Motor Girl
Race: Gerudo
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
Aveil makes her appearance for the span of one line of dialogue in Majora’s
Mask in which we learn she’s the commander and ‘elder sister’ figure of the
Gerudo living at Pirates’ Fortress. But although this may be her crowning
achievement, we can infer a few things from it. First of all, she was
probably responsible for the theft of Lulu’s eggs, meaning she’s either or
vindictive or both. Because honestly, the pirates have no use for them, they
aren’t even sure what they are. Wisdom aside, we also know that she must be a
charismatic and inspiring leader if she’s managed to rally that taciturn
group of reclusive warrior-women under her banner. Her station furthermore
suggests a few things about her skills: The girl with whom she shares a poly,
the captain of Ocarina of Time’s Gerudo Fortress, was known to be expert in
the furious art of the Gerudo scimitar, so it stands to reason that Aveil’s
mastery would be on a similar level. This may not necessarily be the case,
however, since the two are obviously not direct analogues; apart from the
basic differences of thieves versus pirates, Aveil is clearly more
knowledgeable in the employment of mechanical technology - in fact, maybe
moreso than anybody else in the entire Zelda universe - as evidenced by the
complex workings of her outfit’s stronghold. I mean, just look at the outer
garrison. The sentries are piloting MOTORBOATS. Where else in Zelda do we see
anything even approaching that level of technology? There’s Aveil’s actual
crowning achievement right there. I’ll bet she’s an impressive pilot, too.
=============================================================================
B a g u
Blip on the radar
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Adventure of Link
A guy who lived in a secluded house in the woods, Bagu gave Link a note
allowing him access to the bridge leading to the Water Town of Mido.
=============================================================================
B a r n e s
& Noble
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
Barnes the bomb man is a manufacturer of all fine products that explode after
being partially lit on fire. Unlike most purveyors of such merchandise,
Barnes has developed a couple of unique products not found anywhere else in
the series. The first is the Water Bomb, which can be operated even
underwater, a utilitarian and often critical feature (they can, of course,
also be used elsewhere if the bearer’s equipment is running short.) The
second is the Bombling, which is just plain awesome. Much like the Bombchu,
once deployed the Bombling rushes forward on its own propulsion, though in
this case it teeters around on spindly legs rather than rocket off on a slick
of mystery. Also unlike Bombchu, which move in a straight line, Bomblings
home in on the nearest threatening body. These brilliant inventions have led
to great success for Barnes’ Bombs, a shop greatly resembling a garage
(Barnes even wears a welder’s mask while he works) located off lower Fifth
Avenue in Manhattan. Or maybe partway up the cliffs that form the Kakariko
Village gorge, you decide.
When Zant brought Twilight down on Eldin Province, Barnes was one of the
handful of survivors who managed to take shelter in Renado’s dugout. Of those
few, Barnes is clearly one of the calmer and more level-headed, racking his
brains for solutions rather than freaking out when beasts come knocking at
their makeshift barrier. He does, however, reasonably stay within its
boundaries since he’d be destroyed instantaneously if he tried to put up any
kind of fight, but if we purposely go to lengths to look at it from a glass-
half-full perspective, it means that Link doesn’t have to waste any energy
protecting him. After Kakariko’s liberation, Barnes gets to work on a few new
projects, namely the aforementioned Water Bombs and Bomblings, the former of
which allow Link to access Lakebed Temple and the Goron stuck in the meteor
at Zora’s Domain.
=============================================================================
B e a v e r B r o t h e r s
Nickel Phelps
Race: Beavers
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
Back when Mikau was still alive and the Terminan waters were still vibrant
and inviting, the Beaver Brothers loved nothing better than to taunt him
ceaselessly about his inability to beat them at the little game they had set
up in a tiny out-of-the-way inlet off the beach at Zora Cape. Fortunately, he
was able to get his revenge post-mortem when Link assumed his form and
finally wiped the smug smiles off their stupid faces. Fooled by Link’s
disguise, the brothers immediately challenge ‘Mikau’ to one of the coolest
mini-games ever, on par with Pokemon Stadium’s legendary Sushi-go-Round. As
it turns out, in spite of Mikau’s previous difficulties Beaver Brothers isn’t
even that difficult. All it asks of you is subtle manipulations of your fish
as you swim at top speed through a series of progressively more difficult
lifeguard rings. The second part, hosted by the older brother, is marginally
more difficult than the younger brother’s portion, and you might even fail a
few times, but mostly it’s just the sheer exhilaration of trying to keep up
with your target as you hurtle through neckbreakingly tight curves and he
merrily bobs along with the current. Incidentally, the whole setup was so
well-received that a very similar event appeared in Super Mario Galaxy, more
than once in fact. After being beaten, the slack-jawed Beaver Brothers admit
that Mikau is a much more skilled swimmer than they thought, and yield a
Heart Piece.
=============================================================================
B e e d l e
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Phantom Hourglass
Spirit Tracks
I can’t believe I managed to forget Beedle through two revisions O_o
I can’t believe it because he’s iconic to The Wind Waker, and The Wind Waker
is my favourite Zelda. Beedle really showed what the society of TWW was all
about. Like Marin and Tarin from Link’s Awakening, Beedle was always moving
around the world. Wherever you went, you could find him not too far off.
Later on he gave you a map that would actually point out precisely where you
could find him, completely ruining the illusion that he was constantly on the
move, but personally I try to keep the idea alive in my mind.
Actually, the mask he wears in that one map section and his appearance in
other games open up the floor for clones or Nurse Joy Syndrome or chrono-
impairment or something. I like my version better though.
Beedle could be found all over the place because he lived on what Nintendo
Power ticklingly called his ‘floating shop ship.’ Like many businessmen in
Zelda, he doesn’t quite understand the concept of location, joining the ranks
of such luminaries as the guy who peddled his wares from a magic carpet
floating over a perilous sand pit in the middle of the nearly uninhabited
Gerudo Desert. Somehow, Beedle seems to make ends meet, though I kind of
wonder where he gets his supplies...maybe he puts in to port from time to
time. Yeah, that would be supported by his being docked at the opening of
TWW.
Beedle mainly sells Bait Bags, All-Purpose Bait and Hyoi Pears, and, rarely,
Treasure Maps. Not exactly the most compelling merchandise, but he did trick
me into buying a ton of it through his supposed rewards programme. This takes
the form of a points card like you can find at any damn business anywhere
these days, but whose main reward is a slight reduction in price on all
products. Thing is, the stuff he’s selling is only marginally useful in the
first place, and by the time you work up that many points you’re probably at
the end of the game, meaning their usefulness has dropped to exactly zero –
since at that point you’ve probably filled in your map and uncovered all the
secrets you’re going to bother to uncover.
The reward for I believe the Silver Membership, however, was kind of novel.
It was a coupon you could present to Beedle at any time, at which point he
would stand up and yell to high heaven about what a great person you were.
His explanation? Everybody can use encouragement from time to time. Which is
great, even if I was sort of expecting something with an in-game benefit of
some sort.
After the end of The Wind Waker, Beedle apparently follows Link, Tetra and
the crew thousands of miles into uncharted waters, suggesting he is some kind
of stalker. He’s basically unchanged in his PH appearance, though as I recall
his rewards this time take the form of coupons that can be used for actual
discounts.
Spirit Tracks is where it gets weird. Given the dearth of open water found in
most of that game’s setting, Beedle has switched from seaborne to airborne
retailer, and has taken to selling Treasures at twice their value in addition
to his usual assortment of Bombs and sub-standard Potions. Later on, you can
take a kid from Aboda Village, Link’s hometown, to live with Beedle in his
ship, to which the merchant protests profusely; he stays there for the
remainder of the game. But none of this is weird, what’s weird is that ST
takes place ONE HUNDRED YEARS after PH, and yet Beedle doesn’t look a day
older than he did then! Admittedly, he’s likely just a descendant of that
game’s Beedle, since Zelda and Link and others have shown up looking just as
they did and they are verifiably not the same people, and on top of that,
characters reappear outside of their own direct continuities a lot, as with
various minor characters in The Minish Cap. However, Beedle is neither
confirmed to be a different person nor is he in a different continuity, so
isn’t it way more interesting to believe he’s the same guy? I mean seriously,
who actually expected him to appear in ST?
Beedle has a bowl cut, an enormous pink nose that conceals his mouth, and a
somewhat too-happy demeanour. Also, he wears nothing but blue shorts with a
white skull printed on the crotch.
=============================================================================
B e l a r i
Drops hardcore bombs
Race: Minish
Appearances: The Minish Cap
Bearing a similar name to quest-critical Melari, Belari is an older Minish
living in Minish Village in Minish Woods. How happy. While most of his kind
embrace the Minish spirit of helping the Big Folk by performing thankless
good deeds and hiding nice things for them to find, Belari puts his efforts
towards inventing and making things, specifically Bombs. He bequeaths Link
with the Bomb Bag early in the game, and later on offers the option of
swapping between regular Bombs and Remote Bombs, an invention of his own
devising, which don’t explode until commanded to do so by the user. Those
things are just plain neat.
=============================================================================
B e l l u m
Creature straight out of a nightmare
Race: Lesser Deity?
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
Although Bellum is a constant veiled presence even throughout the early game
and acted to both directly and indirectly set the game’s events into motion,
his existence isn’t revealed until over halfway through the game. Failing to
clue Link in on the nature of the evil he’s fighting against is a little
irresponsible of the Ocean King, but at least he knows enough about his
assailant to devise a counterattack. Briefly prior to the beginning of the
game, Bellum appeared out of nowhere, beat up the Ocean King, jacked almost
all of his power including that of the Phantom Hourglass, and took up
residence in his Temple’s inner sanctum. Bellum captured Leaf and Neri, the
Spirits of Courage and Wisdom, and sent them across the sea to dungeons to be
guarded by hideous Hourglass-born monsters. The Ocean King and Ciela, Spirit
of Courage, barely escape, the latter without even her memories, and bide
their time in disguise as the Ocean King tries to devise a plan of action.
After a long journey up, down and actoss the four corners of Bellum’s
newfound territory, Link acquires the Phantom Sword, possibly the only weapon
capable of defeating his monstrous foe. He then finally takes the plunge and
delves into the deepest depths of the Temple of the Ocean King to confront
the usurper, and we are treated to perhaps the third-coolest final boss
battle in the entire Zelda series.
The first phase of the battle is his longest and least interesting, but I’m
still struck by the sheer creepiness of ugly’s manifestation. It doesn’t look
like much on DS, but its weirndess can’t be denied. Bellum takes the form of
what seems to be essentially a squirming, bloated grub with a slack-jawed
orifice from which springs a single orange-red eye that stares at Link with
insane obsession. This misshapen mass is suspended from the walkways that
ring the cylindrical chamber by a system of eyed, clawed tentacles that whip
at Link with lightning speed as miniature minions harry his flight,
necessitating guerilla-style dodge-and-counterattack tactics with the Bow and
other weapons. After taking a beating, a tentacle’s eye changes colour and
Bellum withdraws it temporarily, perhaps feeling it’s a little too sore and
tender to risk further harm for the time being. Once every tentacle (there’s
like ten) has been bested, Bellum retreats to a higher position and regroups
himself as Link scrambles up a staircase to the next level up.
Once Bellum has ascended to the ceiling and been defeated for a third time,
he says screw this noise and starts FLYING around the place trying to run
Link down. Thinking quickly, Ciela enhances Link’s Hour power with the
ability to momentarily stop time, giving him a brief window of opportunity in
which to whale on Bellum’s eye.
After the already beaten and ragged creature receives the brunt of several
such deadly assaults, he flees to the Ghost Ship and takes off as fast as he
possibly can. Link and and Linebeck leap aboard their vessel and give chase,
shooting down the volleys of strange, organic projectiles that the enemy
craft lobs at them while mounting an offensive of their own, firing a barrage
of bombs into the many turbulent eyes plastered across the Ghost Ship. I
totally saw this coming, too. I just knew that after spending half the game
on the S.S. Linebeck, there had to be at least one seaborne boss battle, and
it was really gratifying to see it here considering its sad absence in The
Wind Waker.
Upon disabling the Ghost Ship, the duo marries and boards it...only to have
Linebeck immediately possessed. Bellum’s phantomile and Linebeck’s humanity
converge to form a tall, armoured, broadsword-wielding soldier. Compared to
the Metroidness of his previous form, the shape he takes on now more closely
resembles a traditional Zelda character, but it’s not entirely what you’d
call a typical Zelda battle. Sword vs. sword combats always turn out
interesting for some reason. Though his defences seem impregnable, Link once
again uses a show-stopping performance to get behind him and attack his only
apparent weakness, the still-gaping eye on his back (that thing is ever
present, isn’t it). Unfortunately, all this accomplishes is some futile
attacks on the closed ocular organ and the capture of Ciela, so that sort of
backfired. In spite of her situation, the resourceful fairy is still able to
use her potent powers to Link’s benefit, though she is considerably
restrained due to her position atop Bellum’s head. From here, Link’s task is
to cross swords with Bellum until their weapons clash in a mighty Power
Struggle that upon Link’s victory yields a moment of confusion on Bellum’s
part. Ciela takes advantage of this lapse in concentration to reimbue the
Hourglass with one full charge, giving Link the opportunity he needs. On top
of this, since the eye is only open periodically, Ciela displays it on the
top screen so that Link will know when make his move. After being hacked to
hell by the Phantom Sword, Bellum explodes, his armour coughs up Linebeck,
the Ghost Ship dissipates, and all evil lifts from the Ocean King’s domain.
There are a number of mysteries surrounding Bellum and his nature. First of
all, though he obviously has some sort of connection to the Phantom
Hourglass, we can’t be certain of exactly what (unless this was explained and
I missed it, which is entirely possible.) The Phantom Hourglass is obviously
his weakness, though whether it’s simply his magical antithesis or for some
other reason, I don’t know. This combined with the fact that he turns into
sand upon his defeat and is absorbed into the Hourglass, I’m inclined to
believe that he was originally sand that was corrupted or otherwise went
rogue on its master, the Ocean King. On top of that, since Bellum was
responsible for the Phantoms (who are also not explained...) that have taken
up residence in the Temple of the Ocean King, simple naming conventions would
lead us to conclude that Bellum is himself a Phantom-family creature. It’s
definitely a theory worthy of consideration.
We also know that he created the Ghost Ship, which would immediately make us
wonder if it’s the same Ghost Ship from The Wind Waker. If not, then there
are probably more out there somewhere, which is kind of an interesting idea;
if not, then they’re the same one, which is a very interesting idea. It means
that Bellum sacked the Temple of the Ocean King and sent the Ghost Ship on a
long voyage to the previous site of Hyrule. That alone opens up a huge number
of possibilities, because, critically, we really have no solid idea of what
the Ghost Ship was created for, besides being Bellum’s representative on the
high seas.
This profile is a little long.
=============================================================================
B i g g o r o n a n d M e d i g o r o n
Titanic swordsmiths
Race: Goron
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
Oracle of Seasons
The Minish Cap
Phantom Hourglass
The Gorons are a people whose bodies appear to be made of solid rock. This
lack of carbon growth seems to have some very strange side effects, as
evidenced by dudes like the Goron Elder and Biggoron. They can apparently
live for a very long time...and at least a few of them never stop growing,
ever. Biggoron is huge. Massive. Thirty stories tall, perhaps.
Despite his size, he is quite skilled with fine tools. He is one of the
finest weapon-makers in the whole series (though there aren’t that many.)
He has a younger brother named Medigoron, who is noticeably smaller – but
still so big he takes up a whole room – and noticeably less skilled. He makes
Link a sword that takes seven years to finish, called the Giant’s Knife.
Unfortunately, though powerful, it was so large it took two hands to wield,
and was so fragile it broke after only a few strokes. Biggoron was suffering
from blindness after the eruption of Death Mountain, whose summit he was
right next to; if Link completed the Trading Game and got some rare eye-drops
for him, he offered to fix the sword. It took him three days to come up with
the most powerful sword in the game, the Biggoron’s Sword, which he could
conceivably have used as a toothpick.
In Majora’s Mask, the Gorons all live at Snowhead, where they are slowly
freezing to death. Biggoron was the only one who was unaffected, probably
because of his massive size. He guarded the entrance to Snowhead Temple,
refusing to let anyone in. However, Link put him to sleep with the Goron’s
Lullaby and was able to enter. In this game, Medigoron has found something
he’s good at: making Powder Kegs. These are gigantic bombs that Link can only
handle safely in Darmani Form, and which he needs in order to gather several
important items.
In Oracle of Seasons, the Gorons again live in a snowy climate, and again not
by choice. The ravages of Onox having sunk the Temple of Seasons have forced
their home into winter. Unfortunately, Biggoron is too big to fit into their
cave home, so he has to sit outside and be cold. Part of the Trading Game
involves giving him a pot of soul-warming Lava Soup. In a linked game, he
again contributes the most powerful blade, the Biggoron’s Sword.
Additionally, you can talk to him in The Minish Cap after you’ve beaten the
game and allow him to eat your tasty shield – the Goron diet is chiefly rock
sirloin, if you’ll recall, so tempered iron must be a delectable treat. If
you visit again after a while, he’ll offer up the shiny new Mirror Shield to
replace the one he ate.
The Phantom Hourglass iteration presides over the citizens of Goron Island,
but I think the name is treated as more of a title here; he’s really not that
much bigger than a normal Goron. I guess he was considered too young to be a
Goron Elder; here’s where the term Big Brother could really have been used to
good effect. Nomenclatural kvetching aside, like other Goron leaders,
Biggoron challenged Link to see if he was worthy of being accepted as a de
facto member of the tribe, in this case by asking him a series of questions
about the island and its inhabitants. Each question yields an increasing
Rupee reward (off an ante of 20 Rupees per attempt), culminating in total
winnings of 146 Rupees. Upon Link’s success, Biggoron charges him initiation
fees, which happen to be 146 Rupees. It’s worth it, though, as Biggoron then
opens up the way to Goron Temple, and offers the services of his son Gongoron
as guide and assistant. After Link rids the place of its troubles, Biggoron
even has the grace to return his initiation fees, with a nice little bonus,
proffering a 200-Rupee parting gift. He was an ok guy.
=============================================================================
B i p i n a n d B l o s s o m
New parents
Race: Hylians
Appearances: Oracle of Seasons and Ages
In both halves of the Oracle saga, Bipin and Blossom are a happy couple who
live in the main village, be it Horon Village or Lynna City. She’s a
housewife, and he tends Gasha plants. They’re both very excited about their
newborn son, to the point that Bipin runs back and forth around their house
like a psycho.
Over the course of a regular game and then a main-linked one, you can watch
their son grow. Over time, you will have various opportunities to influence
his career choice. Depending on how you handle these decisions, he can become
a swordsman like Link, an arborist like his father, a musician like Sokra, or
somebody with no purpose in life.
=============================================================================
B l a d e B r o t h e r s
Sword siblings
Race: Hylians
Appearances: The Minish Cap
Hyrule Castle Town in The Minish Cap plays host to a sword duelling contest
every year. Some famous competitors include the likes of Link’s uncle, the
King of Hyrule and Vaati himself. But at one point or another, each of the
so-called Blade Brothers won the contest, then departed on a journey of
enlightenment to hone their techniques to perfection.
Swiftblade – He now runs Swiftblade’s Dojo in the southwest part of town,
where he teaches worthy students the basics of sword combat via his patented
method of instruction, the Swiftblade Possession Technique. I didn’t really
think of this until later on, but the fact that he actually has the magical
ability to possess someone’s body is quite remarkable, elsewhere seen only in
exceptional magicians (e.g. Ganon possessing Agahnim.) He claims to have
invented it, but all the other Blade Brothers use it as well, so it’s
unlikely.
Anyway, he teaches the Spin Attack, the Dash Attack, the Rock Breaker and the
Down Thrust. All of these should be familiar to fans, especially the Spin
Attack. The Dash Attack is simply a charge while using the Pegasus Boots, the
Rock Breaker opens up the world by allowing Link to smash rocks with his
sword, and the Down Thrust allows him to do a stabbing hip-drop once he’s
jumped into the air.
Grimblade – He hangs out under Hyrule Castle. If Link finds him, he teaches
the Sword Beam.
Waveblade – This Lake Hylia denizen teaches the Peril Beam, a move new to
Zelda. This one is kind of the opposite of the Sword Beam, in that you can
use it when you have one heart or less (instead of the full hearts needed for
the Sword Beam.)
Greyblade – If Link can find him on Death Mountain, he teaches the patently
useless Roll Attack, which allows Link to strike powerfully with his sword if
he slashes as he rises out of a normal roll.
Swiftblade the First – By the time Link meets him in Castor Wilds, he’s a
ghost, but he has a very useful technique. Normally, the Spin Attack is one
revolution, but the Great Spin Attack allows for several. In a couple of
other games, there was a similar move called the Hurricane Spin Attack. Maybe
it’s the same attack but with a name change, like how the Whirling Blade
Attack became simply the Spin Attack.
Greatblade – He holed up in North Hyrule Field to dedicate himself to
improving the Great Spin Attack, giving it even more revolutions per
execution.
Scarblade – Found in Castor Wilds, he improves the speed at which a Spin
Attack is charged.
Splitblade – When Link steps on certain panels, he can create copies of
himself in order to solve puzzles. Some of these involve combat, so
Splitblade, hiding in Veil Falls, improves the speed at which the Split Gauge
fills.
=============================================================================
B l a i n o
ADRIAAAAAAAAAN!!
Race: Uh.
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Oracle of Seasons
RANK: Major Circuit #2
RECORD: 18-9 (18 KO)
HEIGHT: ?’??”
WEIGHT: ?? lbs.
AGE: ??
FROM: Koholint Island, Hylian Sea
Let’s go, Mac baby, let’s go! This guy’s fast and strong. One hit from those
gloves of his will send you straight back to the beginning of the circuit.
Dodge his punch then counter punch! Make him see Stars!
Blaino made his debut as a mini-boss but subsequently fell to the station of
key quest adversary. His initial appearance is in the eighth and final level
of Link’s Awakening, Turtle Rock, where he guards the prized Magic Rod. Come
to think of it, this is actually a pretty important position, the Magic Rod
being the single most powerful weapon in the entire Zelda series excluding
swords. Blaino’s stamina is also quite high, as he is able to withstand an
almost bosslike number of blows before conceding the match. That’s fine, of
course, since we all love destroying bad guys and all. Slightly more
threatening is his frighteningly powerful jab, which, like the grasp of a
Wallmaster, can instantly return Link to the entrance of the dungeon.
And so it was for the passage of two more games, until Blaino’s unexpected
return in Oracle of Seasons. As Link runs around looking for the Floodgate
Key to open the way to Level 3, Poison Moth’s Lair, he learns that Ricky the
Kangaroo has had his boxing gloves taken as spoils by a wicked little fiend,
and without them he’s too depressed and powerless to do anything but sit
alone in his house. Link agrees to help Ricky out, rising up to the challenge
of their rival. As it turns out, Blaino’s Gym is located a short walk north
of Horon Village, though dude’s personality doesn’t seem to be attracting a
lot of customers. Link challenges Blaino for the Boxing Gloves he stole, and
the ensuing encounter plays out more like a sumo match than a boxing one,
with the goal being to force the opponent to step outside the ring, but
that’s fine. Blaino dutifully returns the item upon his defeat (winning Link
the support of his new animal friend, who isn’t a hamster), but challenges
Link to a rematch if he ever feels up to it. Subsequent bouts will net you
Rupees. One of the more fun ways to fight him is to equip the Expert’s Ring,
which allows Link to throw down his weapons in favour of a clenched fist,
making for a real throwdown contest.
=============================================================================
B l i n d t h e T h i e f
When I was little I thought his name was instructions
Race: Hylian
Appearances: A Link to the Past
A young man, perhaps 19, who once plagued Kakariko Village with his
mischievous ways and gang of 40 thieves who ransacked its homes and
terrorized its populace. For some reason he was still able to maintain a
legal residence in the town, and, equally mysteriously, left several hundred
Rupees when he left for parts unknown that its new owner never bothered to
even see if he might be able to get at them despite realising full well that
they were there. The aforementioned parts unknown are in fact known to be
Thieves’ Town, the Dark World equivalent to Kakriko Village, which Blind
apparently established upon travelling there, in search of the Triforce no
doubt.
Thieves’ Town is a totally rundown and depressing little place where nobody
seems to live anymore except monsters and the surviving thieves in their
transformed states. It also houses Blind’s Hideout, raising the question of
why he would need a hideout when he controls the whole town, hidden beneath a
giant statue of a gargoyle (analagous to the Light World’s weathervane.) This
hideout is a massive underground labyrinth, filled with not only traps but a
wide variety of monsters, making it somewhat impractical as a home base. Deep
inside, Link finds Blind in the form of a cute girl, and a very commanding
one at that. Go find the key, no don’t go this way. Know what darling, you
don’t have to stick around you know. Of course, this is all just a ruse to
lure Link into a more amenable arena to have a little brawl, which is
convenient because you need Blind to get through and Hyrule would have been
in serious trouble if the boss had happened not to have felt like bothering
with Link. Luckily he does, and when he accidentally steps into the light,
the extreme photosensitivity for which he earned his name asserts itself, and
all of a sudden he transforms. This is interesting in and of itself, because
this new form is probably the reflection of his heart that the Dark World
forced him to take on, and yet somehow he possesses magic powerful enough to
(even temporarily) override the perogatives of the Triforce itself. That’s
fairly impressive!
As for the new form itself, well it’s a sort of...kind of like one of those
bedsheet ghosts that are the bane of foot fetishists everywhere, but then a
hideous cyclopean red goblin ripped its way out the top, with some gnarled,
clawed hands added to help out. The battle itself is pretty simple, however,
mostly consisting of dodging Blind’s body and projectiles while attacking
with whichever of your many weapons strikes your mood.
=============================================================================
B o m b e r s G a n g
Elitist kindergartners
Race: Hylians
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
The Bombers are a gang of rowdy little kids in Majora’s Mask. Four of the
five members wear blue berets; Jim, their leader, distinguishes himself by
wearing a red one. When Link first approaches them, he’s in Deku Scrub form,
so they refuse to let him join the gang. However, he agrees to a game of hide
and seek where the Bombers hide all over Clock Town. When he succeeds (before
dawn of the Second Day, or else he loses) Jim gives him the password to their
‘secret hideout.’ They’re cheaters, too; they run away when Link finds them.
Come to think of it, Super Mario Galaxy repeats this one as well, with its
rabbits.
Their hideout is really an underground tunnel that travels beneath the walls
of the town and up into the Astral Observatory, where Professor Shikashi can
be found gazing up at the stars at night. During the day, you can zoom in on
the top of the Clock Tower to cause a Moon’s Tear to fall to the ground
outside the Observatory, which not only plays a part in your first three-day
runthrough but also kicks off that game’s Trading Game. In Ocarina,
Shikashi’s poly was some old guy who lived in Kakariko. Bonooru the Scarecrow
can be found here, where he indirectly teaches the Inverted Song of Time and
Song of Double Time.
The Bombers also give Link the Bombers’ Notebook, since they all have a copy.
It’s used to keep track of all the people they have helped out in the past,
or whose troubles they are currently attempting to solve. Mostly, it’s used
for the player to keep track of the schedules of the multitudinous NPCs who,
at some point or another, give Link a Happy Mask (and also a handful who
don’t.)
The Bombers had a pseudorenaissance in The Wind Waker, where a gang called
the Killer Bees hung out in the village square of Windfall Island. They were
Ivan, the leader, Jin, the advisor, Jan, the thug, and Jun-Roberto, the
scheming, would-be usurper. They play a minor role in the story, terrorize
their teacher, and follow Link around whenever he’s in the vicinity. LEAVE ME
ALONE, STUPID KIDS!
=============================================================================
B r i d g e W o r k e r
Bridge worker
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Spirit Tracks
Bridge Worker, why not. A skilled carpenter who possesses his own solitary
house, rippling muscles, a bandana and hammer, a very flat nose and
considerable assets in the form of debts to him, he is not business-savvy in
any special way but certainly doesn’t take anything from anybody, not even
the ultra-shrewd and morals-devoid Linebeck III. After receiving
repayment/payment in the form of a Regal Ring, the Bridge Worker fixes the
bridge leading from the Forest Realm to the Ocean Realm, which is quest-
critical. Later he can also be brought to Anouki Village to build them a
fence to keep out monsters, a project which he undertakes with such great
care that he makes no progress whatsoever for the entire rest of the game.
=============================================================================
B r o c c o a n d P i n a
Farmer’s marketers
Race: Hylians
Appearances: The Minish Cap
Brocco and Pina each set up opposing vendor stands in Hyrule Castle Town’s
market square. They consider each other fierce rivals in spite of the fact
that they sell completely different products, for precisely the reason that
they’re carrying on a long-standing argument over whether vegetables or
fruits are superior. (Hint: You need both to not die). Brocco, the man whose
hair looks like a head of cabbage, subscribes to the former, while Pina, the
blonde topknot-sporting gal, is a slave to the latter, to the point that ‘she
won't even sell tomatoes even though they technically ARE fruits. Freak.’
Brocco buys the best of Eenie and Meenie’s crops, but Pina’s supplier is
unknown. Both are viable Kinstone candidates. Late in the game, when the
Picori Festival ends, they both go away.
‘Food’ for thought: In case it wasn’t obvious, Brocco’s name comes from the
vegetable broccoli, whereas Pina takes hers from the highly fruit pineapple,
specifically the Italian word for such, just like Pinna Park from Super Mario
Sunshine.
=============================================================================
B u g – C a t c h i n g K i d
Pokeball, go! ... ... You caught Beedrill!
Race: Hylian
Appearances: A Link to the Past
A surprisingly mature anklebiter who contracts some kind of mysterious
disease, likely somehow related to the recent dark doings casting a pall over
the country, the Bug-Catching Kid gives Link a butterfly net, which he uses
to catch Bees. Well, to be fair, I guess it is just addressed by the catch-
all ‘Bug-Catching Net,’ so maybe we’re in the clear. In the epilogue, there’s
a particular ‘Bug-Catching Kid’ segment that shows him happily frolicking
amongst the Kakariko Village bugs once again. And the Pokemon series has a
Trainer Type called Bug Catcher, just thought that needed pointing out.
=============================================================================
B y r n e
Double-dealing defector
Race: Lokomo/Demon
Appearances: Spirit Tracks
Surprisingly, Byrne isn’t introduced as a bait-and-switch baddie to be
replaced by Cole; that would be predictable, right? This goddamn wraith,
casting an evil aura, possessing a mechanized hand and looking like a Dark
Elf Shade from the tabletop battle game Warhammer, it would make sense to
present Byrne as the game’s main antagonist (in addition to Malladus) with
the unassuming Chancellor showing his true colours at just the right moment.
Instead, Zelda wises up immediately, Cole makes his move twenty minutes into
the game, and Byrne ultimately betrays his ostensible master in order to try
and snatch Malladus’s power for himself, all of which is much more
interesting.
Byrne was born a Lokomo, making him one of the custodians of the new Hyrule.
In fact, he was reportedly one of the most prodigious Lokomo around, being
Anjean’s star pupil and a consummate master of nearly all Lokomo skills and
magics. Unfortunately, the reason for his being only a master of ‘nearly’ all
Lokomo arcana is that he exhibited a fairly obvious lust for power, which
soon enough saw him turn his back on the Lokomo path of goodness and
transforming himself into a Demon. Tempering his newfound demonic faculties
with the Lokomo techniques of yesteryear, Byrne became one of the more
fearsome forces in the region. At some point before the start of the game, he
fell in with Cole, who was working on a scheme to resurrect a dark god and
receive some of his power in gratitude. Given Byrne’s general attitude
towards and lack of respect for Cole, it’s safe to say that he intended to
betray him from the beginning.
We first encounter him as part of Zelda’s ill-fated escape attempt, as she
flees the castle with Link and Alfonzo, bound for the Tower of Spirits, only
to have the tracks beneath their train dissolve into nothingness, crashing
the machine irreparably and leading to Zelda being kicked out of her own
body. You’ll notice that Byrne is definitely along for the intimidation
factor here.
Our intrepid heroes encounter Byrne again in the Tower of Spirits as part of
the quest to recover the Fire Realm rail map, but Anjean teleports everybody
to safety before he can do anything problematic. The trick only works once,
however, as Byrne eventually does force the issue and get the battle he
desires (and ends up humiliated, of course). One of the most interesting and
engaging boss battles in the entire Zelda series ensues, as the player must
coordinate the actions of both Link and the Phantom-possessing Zelda to be
successful. After unleashing a fusillade of fireballs punctuated with the
occasional physical attack, Byrne will launch his mechanized gauntlet at
Link, which he must sidestep. The evildoer will be momentarily vulnerable to
Zelda’s quick hands, which will seize his in a touching display of
tenderness, which is to say she drags him down from his perch atop the cage
in which they’re fighting so that Link can run up to him and start attacking
him with a bladed weapon. Zelda is invincible as always in her ten-ton suit
of armour, but I recall that Byrne does have a few tricks that she needs to
be aware of; maybe he summons mice or something. Actually, I think he can
stun her for a few seconds. After a few rounds of this, Byrne will descend ot
ground level and start going to town with his claws. The trick this time is
to interpose Zelda between Byrne and Link, initiating a stylus-driven ‘clash’
event which will leave Byrne off-balance if won; again, it’s time for some
Lokomo sword action, and after taking so much punishment, Byrne eventually
falls. This is a really great and fun battle that tests your ability to
control two characters at once – two characters with not only very different
features but completely different methods of control as well. Very original.
After the battle, there’s a humorous moment as Link and Zelda congratulate
each other in typical shounen manga style, extolling the virtues of their
cooperation and trust, only to realise that Byrne isn’t even listening and is
quickly getting away.
They aren’t quick enough to catch him before Cole finally succeeds in
resurrecting Malladus, and as a result, the imp’s gleeful cries are
interrupted by Byrne violently shoving him out of the way and trying to
preempt his power. Malladus just laughs and zaps him, which only renews
Cole’s amusement as he explains that Malladus could never accept anybody who
was once served the Spirits of Light. They’ve been tainted. Cole and Malladus
depart on the Demon Train while Link, Zelda and Anjean take off in the Spirit
Train, dragging Byrne with them. He starts to brood over not being good
enough for the living embodiment of evil to take on as a vassal, and the fact
that he’s been taken in by his enemies isn't exactly helping his ego. He does
impart the information, however, that the Demon Train (and thus Cole and
Malladus) can be tracked using the Compass of Light, which, if you think
about it, is generally a nautical device and thus something of a throwback to
Phantom Hourglass (and The Wind Waker). Using this information, the good
guys, now plus one, track their foes to the Dark Realm, one of the most
irritating areas in the entire game, for the final showdown.
Byrne gains his final redemption halfway through the battle with the
transformed Malladus, blocking the demon king from repossessing Zelda, who
regained her body in the course of the fighting. He manages to fend him off
long enough for Link and Zelda to regroup, but is killed in the process,
leading to the boss’s final phase. Afterward, it turns out that Byrne wasn’t
so much killed as he lost his body; he may be just a soul, but no afterlife
for him just yet. Instead, Anjean uses some more of her ever-handy magic to
ensure that he’ll walk the earth again someday, though he may not remember of
the events of his previous life, the whole thing of which is possible
foreshadowing for a future title (though I somewhat doubt it.) So there you
have it, just about the only character in the entire Zelda series with an
actual character arc.
=============================================================================
C a n n o n
Character names in Zelda are ever so subtle, aren’t they
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
If the Link explores the world’s one and only specialty Bomb Shop after
washing up on Windfall Island, he’ll find the going rate set at 10,000 Rupees
per Bomb. Although they would be a nice little addition to his inventory,
he’s slightly short, and forced to leave empty-handed, with Cannon’s jeers
ringing behind him. Both are sound evidence suggesting that Cannon is a
really lousy businessman, as not only does he charge so much he can’t move
any product, but he openly insults his would-be patrons as well. Guess he
considers himself some kind of high-roller. Part of this is somewhat
legitimate, as he is the only known individual across the Great Sea capable
of making Bombs. This cavalier attitude, however, is exactly what gets him
into trouble with the pirates towards the end of the game’s first act, as the
brigands, unwilling to pay his downright stupid prices, break into his store,
tie him up into a squirming bundle of flesh and rope, and make off with half
his stock. Following this encounter, he starts to sell at a more reasonable
price and cleans up a bit, and even his customer service improves massively.
=============================================================================
C a p t a i n K e e t a
Almost alliterative
Race: Stalchild
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
Captain of the Guard and loyal friend of Igos du Ikana in life, Captain Keeta
takes on the form of what seems to be a giant Stalchild in death. Then again,
maybe that’s just how big he was back in the day, and he’s just been worn
down to bones-only is all. Either way, he doesn’t even need to be exhumed,
his remains lying right out in the open on the courtyard wall of Termina’s
only cemetery. Although quite firmly cemented in and centuries gone, Captain
Keeta responds favourably to a rousing rendition of the Song of Healing; he
awakens, casts off his shackles (that is, destroys half the wall and
connected bridge), postures angrily, and then starts walking off in the
general direction of Ancient Castle of Ikana. If he gets too far he’ll say
something to Igos and then disappear, meaning you’ll have to go back in time
and try again, always a pain. Your job is to chase him down the path, fending
off the Stalchildren who crop up behind him, making use of the occasional
Arrow to thwart his progress temporarily. (He spins in a circle, looks at you
disapprovingly, spins back, and continues on his way.) When you do catch up,
a chain of blue fire will trap the two of you together in your impromptu
arena, at which point it’s a simple matter of avoiding his Stalfos-like
jumping game and responding with sword strikes. This is a bit of a trick if
you only have the L-1 Sword, which is not only quite weak but, more
importantly, has a severe lack of reach. Your reward for felling the
custodian is his Captain’s Hat, allowing you to adopt your erstwhile enemy’s
phizog.
Ikana’s varied undead denizens have quite a number of unique, interesting and
sometimes bizarre reactions to Link when he dons the Captain’s Hat.
Stalchildren willingly obey the orders of their commander, allowing Link to
desecrate the grave of his choice once per night, giving access to a number
of underground grottos with some decent prizes. The Gibdos will ask for
various bottled items, providing vague and sometimes outright wrong hints as
to what they’re after, offering some of their own belongings in return. Igos
du Ikana himself will even be fooled into thinking he’s been reunited with
his old friend, but only momentarily; he quickly sees through the ploy and
states he was much too close to Keeta to be so easily bamboozled. I don’t
remember what Pamela or her father did, but I’ll bet it was interesting. But
my personal favourite is the ReDeads, who stop moaning, crank up some music,
and break out some spontaneous dancing. Specifically, pirhouettes.
=============================================================================
C a r l o v a n d B o r l o v
Figure-loving brothers
Race: Hylians
Appearances: The Wind Waker
The Minish Cap
Only Carlov appeared in The Wind Waker. Forest Haven, located in the
southeast of the Great Sea, is composed of one large island and several
smaller ones. One of the smaller ones is accessible by standing in your boat,
using a Hyoi Pear to take control of a seagull, and flying up to hit a switch
near the top of the main island; this drops a ladder that gives you access to
a vertical door that opens by a spinny wheel, like you might see on top of a
submarine.
Inside is the Nintendo Gallery, though the only displays are of characters
and creatures from The Wind Waker. If Link obtains the Deluxe Pictograph –
which is an entire side-quest of its own – he can take colour photos, which
he can then present to Carlov. If it’s taken with the subject in the middle,
is well balanced, and isn’t too blurry, he will spend the next three days
sculpting a fabulously detailed figurine of whatever the subject was. All
figurines he makes will be put on display in one of several rooms in the
Nintendo Gallery. There are 133 figurines, so getting them all is quite a
feat, and one that doesn’t serve any purpose, so completing it is more a
matter of pride, like collecting all 120 Stars in Super Mario 64.
Strangely, if you present Carlov with a picture of himself, he doesn’t
recognize the subject, and will marvel at his own fashionable (?) hairstyle
and waxen skin. ...But each figurine comes with a description, and Carlov’s
figurine’s description references him by name, but was clearly not written by
Carlov. Umm...
Carlov serves a similar role in The Minish Cap, but his place is much easier
to access – it’s in town, and Link can enter it easily once he’s grabbed a
certain dungeon item. This time, however, you collect figurines by random
lottery, though you can only get figurines whose real-life models you’ve
already come into contact with. There are 136 of these.
Carlov’s younger brother Borlov, who looks exactly like him, has opened a
shop in The Minish Cap (though he wasn’t anywhere in Waker.) This is sort of
a retread of Old Man’s money making game from the first Zelda, though he
doesn’t sell his product very well, dissuading you from attempting it several
times throughout its explanation.
=============================================================================
C a r p e n t e r s
Lumberjacks’ raison d’etre
Race: Hylians
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
Oracle of Ages
The Minish Cap
For minor characters, they sure got a lot of exposure. Characters who debuted
in Ocarina of Time have all the luck.
We’ve got Mutoh, Ichiro, Jiro, Sabooru and Shiro.
Speaking of Ocarina, their activities in that game vary depending on which
timeframe you’re in. As child Link, Kakariko Village is still under
construction, and you can see them working on a few buildings. By the time
you’re an adult, they’re complete; they all become houses, I believe.
By the time you’re in adult form, the bridge connecting Gerudo Valley to
Hyrule Field has been smashed to splinters. The carpenters were contracted to
repair it, but made the mistake of trying to join the Gerudo tribe. Even Jim
Caruk knows better than to bother the neighbours. This prompted the Gerudo to
capture them and toss them in various cells throughout the fortress, gathered
by the orange-clad Gerudo elites. The foreman, Mutoh, asked Link to rescue
them, after which they were able to rebuild the bridge.
In Majora’s Mask, they spent most of their time in South Clock Town, crawling
around the scaffolding and hitting things with their hammers. (That’s what
the weird tap-tap-tap-tap-tap noise is. It took me a while to figure that one
out.) They are in the midst of an argument with the Town Watch, whose captain
asserts that it is smartest to flee, while Mutoh the Foreman maintains that
this kind of thinking is pure cowardice and foolishness. In the end, the
other carpenters take off, and the Foreman is left standing in front of the
Clock Tower yelling defiantly at the Moon. He fully believes that everything
will be fine when it impacts.
They are once again slacking off in Oracle of Ages’ prelude to Level 4, Skull
Dungeon. Link finds the Foreman and he explains that his workers haven’t
shown up. Link has to search them out and lay down the law. The terrain will
be different depending on whether he has Ricky, Moosh or Dimitri as his
animal partner. After Link puts them all back to work, they finish the bridge
that leads to Symmetry City.
No such disciplinary problems exist in The Minish Cap, where they do whatever
their boss tells them. They complain about it a lot, though. Their main
purpose is to block off parts of the world with refuse for the first part of
the game, blocking off areas the game’s developers didn’t want Link to visit
too early. They slowly clear it away, build two houses in Hyrule Castle Town,
and then take some time off.
=============================================================================
C h a n c e l l o r C o l e
Secret subversive
Race: Demon
Appearances: Spirit Tracks
When Zelda covertly whispers, ‘Beware of the Chancellor,’ she isn’t kidding.
Far from merely being an outwardly suave bureaucrat who is actually rather
slimey, he is actually much more dangerous than the Princess might have cared
to know. As it turns out, his reason for wearing two differently-sized top
hats is not that he has a penchant for the outrageous but rather that he is a
demon whose fat head supports two differently-size horns, which may also
account for how incredibly short he is (I mean the demonism, not the fact
that he has horns.) He masquerades as Zelda’s loyal underling for a matter of
years, gradually and subtly extending tendrils of power throughout the land
while doing everything he can to stunt that of the sovereign. When he has
something he needs done that he can’t do himself, he employs Byrne, his
power-hungry and more battle-ready subordinate who plans to overcome him
sooner or later. All of this is done in a very grand attempt at reviving the
ancient demon king, Malladus, who reigned at the time of her grandmother’s
arrival, and whose bonds, the Spirit Tracks, are rapidly disappearing thanks
to Cole’s dedicated work. When Zelda finally manages to sneak out from under
him one day thanks to Link’s help, she forces his hand; he and Byrne ambush
the party’s train, destroys the tracks leading to the Tower of Spirits, and,
in a neon coup d’etat, rip her very spirit from her body, as he does so
happening to mention (for no real reason) that the latter is necessary for
Malladus’s resurrection. He breaks the Tower of Spirits while he’s doing all
of this, removes practically all remaining Spirit Tracks from the face of the
land, and then takes off to begin the ritual.
We don’t see him over the course of four dungeons, as we race to restore
Malladus’s shackles. When we finally catch up to him, Malladus’s resurrection
is already well underway, and we arrive just in time to see him take over
Zelda’s body. Byrne kneels before Malladus and asks him for a fraction of his
power, but both Malladus and Cole immediately reject him. Cole once again
summons his Demon Train, and once again completely disappears for another
long stretch of game.
Link and Zelda’s next encounter with Cole is their last. Pursuing him into
the Dark Realm, they find him and Malladus riding atop the Demon Train. While
Zelda rushes forward to reclaim her body, Cole tries to fend her off by
shooting mice at her. Link’s job is to keep them from hitting their mark, but
if they do, Cole will take control of Zelda by magical marionette strings and
begin to not only swing the Phantom’s sword at him, but also walk towards him
and away from Malladus, causing you to lose huge amounts of progress with
each failed attempt to sever the strings, making Cole, if nothing else, by
far the most aggravating final boss character in the series. Following
Zelda’s body reclamation, Malladus will see not much recourse and eat his
loyal follower, who screams for mercy but ends up possessed anyway. Nintendo
can be uncharacteristically frickin’ harsh sometimes. The form Malladus
assumes here retains his own blue but appears like a sort of extrapolated,
more demonic version of Cole, mainly in the horns. He claims that although he
can’t correctly interface with Cole’s body (it not being quite so special as
Zelda’s) and will be forced out soon, he’ll have destroyed the world by the
time that happens. Link and Zelda aren’t about to have any of that, so they
stab Cole’s monstrous form in the head with the Lokomo Sword, killing both
him and Malladus in so doing. I’m telling you, uncharacteristically harsh.
=============================================================================
C h a r l o
Because you can never have too many people asking you to give them money
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
Twilight Princess had all kinds of characters that would have gone unnamed in
previous instalments due to their overall uselessness, but are out with full-
force monikers here. This really gums up the works with unnecessary entries,
all the more so when I feel the need to pontificate about the situation.
Charlo is the robed pastor-looking guy in West Hyrule Castle Town who asks
you for Rupees, apparently for a Hyrule restoration project in the wake of
twilit destruction or something along those lines. For the longest time I
thought Aonuma and the gang were just scamming me, but actually after you
contribute 1000 Rupees your generosity, patience and dedication will be
rewarded with a Heart Piece.
=============================================================================
C h e f B e a r
What was that sound?
Race: Bear
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Owning what may be a small restaurant in Animal Village (the only one, if
that’s what it is), Chef Bear dons an apron and chef’s hat to tend what looks
like either pots of soup or jars of honey. Although her culinary specialties
are unknown, her preferences are not, because everyone knows that all bears
have an insatiable lust for honey. In exchange for the Honeycomb that Tarin
knocked out of a tree with a Stick, which he immediately regretted doing as
the swarm set in, Chef Bear gives Link a Pineapple. No one knows if Chef Bear
is male or female, but I’ve always assumed she’s a guy.
=============================================================================
C h r i s H o u l i h a n
Justin Bailey
Race: ...
Appearances: A Link to the Past
Chris Houlihan is a real person. He won a contest in Nintendo Power in which
the winner would be put in the next Zelda game. And he’s there, but if you
played the game, you probably never even noticed him; he’s a little out of
the way, as you might expect. The secret is to cause a malfunction in your
SNES cart. Chris Houlihan’s room is there as crash protection. If you enter a
door or fall through a hole or otherwise do something that will take you to a
new screen, and your game glitches out, you’ll appear in Chris Houlihan’s
room. There’s a few ways to do this that I’ve looked up but won’t detail here
for reasons of concision and topicality, but I’m sure you can open a new tab
and find them pretty quick for yourself.
You can also enter his room by means placed in the game intentionally, by
either starting at the Sanctuary or the easternmost edge of Kakariko Village
and then using the Pegasus Boots to run nonstop to the hole you fell into at
the beginning of the game, shortly before encountering your dying uncle.
Except you won’t fall into there, you’ll fall into Chris Houlihan’s Room.
It’s just a little cave with a bunch of Rupees and a Sahasrahla tablet on the
north wall, but it’s one weird secret. If you use the tablet Chris Houlihan
announces himself and basically tells you that you’ve broken into his house.
And with those two lines of dialogue, he somehow gets a profile. Does that
REALLY count as a character? Guess so.
What I want to know is, what’s the deal with the Japanese version of the
game? Did Japan have its own winner, or does Chris appear internationally?
That’d be a little strange, to have an American appear in the Japanese
version, though I guess it wouldn’t be out of place since all the names in
that game are foreign anyway. While we’re on the subject, does Chris appear
in other localizations, such as maybe the Brazilian version? Does he have the
same name, is his room even accessible?
=============================================================================
C h r i s t i n e
Enchantress
Race: Goat
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Also known as Miss Goat (the name that is eternally branded into my own
memory), Christine is a young woman living in Animal Village who is pen pals
with a man named Mr Write who lives near Goponga Swamp. But the bond they
share runs far deeper than the fact that they’re both named after their
defining characteristics; they’re wildly in love. Link gives the insufferable
narcissicist a hibiscus to win her favour, and as a reward she sends him on
an errand - this is exactly the sort of woman that I always end up going for
in real life - giving him a letter and a picture of Princess Peach to deliver
to Mr Write. This of course all works out for Link in the end, because it’s
part of the all-important Trading Game, but when Mr Write, upon seeing the
photograph, declares that the time has come for him to finally meet this
beauty in person and hastens to make travel preparations, I’m afraid I kind
of have to worry for the couple’s future. I mean come on, their relationship
is built on a lie.
=============================================================================
C h u d l e y
Swindler
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
Eponymous owner and operator of Chudley’s Fine Goods and Fancy Trinkets
Emporium, a small shop in the eastern block of Hyrule Castle Town’s market
square, Chudley is a snivelling elitist with a very strange sense of fashion.
In order to so much as gander at his horrifically overpriced merchandise, one
must endure endure the simpering comments he showers on customers he doesn
not deem worthy, and that’s only after passing a careful inspection from the
doorman ensuring that the grubby don’t come in to sully the wares. That would
ruin the experience for paying customers, since the whole setup is designed
to offer the sense of partaking in a level of classiness that commoners can
only dream of. Speaking of paying customers, that’s one thing that Link can
never be while within the embrace of the Emporium, because every single item
costs more than the entire capacity of the largest wallet he can obtain.
Almost every single one is a perfectly everyday thing that can be found at
any store anywhere, but Chudley talks them up like they’re the most amazing
incredible magnificent things he’s ever seen.
He doesn’t get very far with this, however; after being donated incredibly
massive amounts of Rupees, Malo fixes the eastern Hyrule Castle Town bridge,
establishes a supply convoy route from there to Kakariko, and promptly buys
out the Emporium. Good riddance. The lot becomes a new Malo Mart location,
and its gracious new management puts on a grand opening sale that lasts until
the end of the game, with everything in stock on for half price. This means
that running down to the corner for a bundle of Arrows sets you back naught
but pocket change, though as always it’s still cheaper to just run around any
outdoor area cutting things up with your sword for a while. Of course, this
also puts the Magic Armour down to a cool 598 Rupees, well within Link’s
budget, but anyway, none of this directly relates to Chudley.
Chudley discards his old garb in favour of something more stylish and
apparently changes his name to Malver, now manager of Malver’s Marvelous
Market. Though his moustache-grooming techniques remain as questionable as
ever, his customer service skills have skyrocketed, perhaps due to some
coaching from the always-honest Malo. As if that weren’t enough of an
improvement, Malver has also learned some sweet new dance moves that he busts
out in synchronus with his fellow employees, all to the tune of the
supersweet Malo Mart melody.
=============================================================================
C i e l a
Pretty down-to-earth for a goddess
Race: Fairy
Apearances: Phantom Hourglass
In the first DS Zelda title, series director Aonuma Eiji professed a desire
for a fully stylus-driven Link. I’m not exactly sure why, but he apparently
felt it would be helpful to include an onscreen cursor. I find this sort of
unnecessary since you can obviously see your physical stylus, but it does add
character to what you’re doing, and blossomed into Ciela.
As fairies go, she doesn’t measure up to the N64 legends, but she has sort of
a mixture of Navi’s purity and Tatl’s spunk. She does admirably fulfill the
role of Link’s voice, always maintaining a level head even in dire
circumstances and trading barbs with Linebeck during intermissions. On top of
that, of course, she performs the usual mechanic-explaining and puzzle-
pondering we get from all of Link’s allies. And on top of that she makes the
incredibly slick contribution of wielding Link’s Hammer. This enables him to
make punishing blows at range all over the damn place, with just a simple tap
on the touch screen.
However, thanks to the battle with Bellum prior to PH’s opening, Ciela finds
herself reduced to the powers of an ordinary fairy and all her memories
wiped. She’s still the same rambunctious, dutiful cowgirl she always was,
though, so when she sees an opportunity to help out ‘Grandpa Oshus,’ she
won’t take no for an answer. Oshus eventually relents and Ciela sets off with
Link and Linebeck, unknowingly on a quest to rescue her brother and sister.
This all goes smoothly, but when they locate the third spirit, they find it
an unresponsive shell. Everyone is thoroughly confused by this, except for
Oshus, who explains what’s really going on and re-fuses Ciela’s conscious
half and the part containing her power and memories that had been ripped out
of her. Ciela awakens as the Spirit of Courage and the three are reunited in
solidarity.
At this point Ciela doesn’t become any more useful or anything, but the
second arc of the story does kick off here. Ciela sticks it through right
until the final battle, where she proves her worth by harnessing the power of
the Phantom Sword (forged from the three Pure Metals and the Phantom
Hourglass) and giving Link the ability to temporarily stop time, allowing him
to attack Bellum. In the last stage of the battle, Bellum hijacks her, but
Link manages to knock her from his grasp. Ciela then shows one final useful
ability: Since Bellum can only be damaged when his eye is open, and his eye
is on his back, she displays it on the DS’s top screen, so that Link knows
when the time is right to attack. With her help, Link is able to slay Bellum
and rid the Ocean King of his Bellum-related ailments.
But with that done, their time together is over, and Oshus uses his newly
restored power to heal the bestoned Tetra, then teleport her and Link far
away and back onto the deck of their ship. Link and Ciela will never meet
again. It was all so sudden, wasn’t it?
=============================================================================
C o m p o s e r B r o t h e r s
Ghostly musicians
Race: Poes
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
The Composer Brothers are a little confusing. Based on Ocarina of Time’s
cemetery, one would expect them to be Hylians, but Majora’s Mask shows them
to be Poes. Hmm.
Anyway, in Ocarina of Time they are only mentioned when you find the notes
for the Sun’s Song. They mention that they, the Composer Brothers, wrote it.
Anna Bare has this to say:
“I haven't played Ocarina of Time in a while, but I was almost certain that
you can "fight" the Composer Brothers, Flat and Sharp. I can't remember if
you have to be young or old Link (I think young), but if you go to the
Graveyard in Kakariko and examine each of the two gravestones on both sides
of the big grave (the one you blow up), the Brother is summoned and you can
“fight” him.”
I’m currently unable to verify that, but it’s possible they’re just ordinary
Poes. Joao Paulo Hoppe confirms that they do indeed exist, and that when
defeated they talk about their lives and the Sun’s Song. The Platinum Knight
says something similar. Well, I guess that’s settled.
They show up physically in Majora’s Mask, at the top of Ikana Canyon. We
learn here that their names are Flat and Sharp, which, if you don’t know, are
two kinds of musical notes (hitting F-sharp when the composition calls for F-
flat is a major performance blunder that will cost you much respect, or so
children’s shows would have me believe.) Sharp has tried to restore Ikana,
the dead kingdom, to its former splendour, but has inadvertently made it even
worse than before. As a result of his deal with Skull Kid, not only have the
dead risen, but his brother Flat has been imprisoned. In the process, Sharp
has also been corrupted. Flat is still fundamentally good, whereas Sharp
tries to kill Link and stands a good shot at it. However, a quick rendition
of the Song of Healing soothes his confused, battered soul. The brothers
teach Link the quest-critical Song of Storms before departing for the next
world.
=============================================================================
C o r o
Shinoda Cycle supplier
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
‘Coro’ sounds like some kind of low-quality industrial manufacturer from the
mid- to late-90’s or something. I’m sure I’ve heard it.
The subject of this distorted memory most likely has no relation to Coro from
Twilight Princess, the younger brother of Iza and older brother of Hena. He
makes his home in the woods where he brews Lantern Oil. He sells not only
oil, which comes in a Bottle that you can later use for other things (love
those Bottles, yeah?), and is even kind enough to straight-up give away the
Lantern itself. Thunder Wave, Confuse Ray, Surf, Thunderbolt; that’s what I
always ran on my Parafusion Lanturn. He provides Link with the key to the
Forest Temple as well. Sadly, he is something of a black sheep in his family,
as his fishing prowess is shameful in comparison to that of his sisters and
of their ancient ancestor, the guy from Ocarina of Time’s Fishing Hole. On
the other hand, he does have an afro, which always ups coolness by a factor
of 4.6, although in this case its coolness is somewhat diminshed by the fact
that it is literally a bird’s nest. There’s a picture of him in Hena’s
Fishing Hole.
Ah! It wasn’t a company at all. I was thinking of CoroCoro Comics.
=============================================================================
C r a z y T r a c y
‘Crazy’ in this game? You’ve got a long way to go, darling
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
I don’t know, guys, I think Crazy Tracy is pretty cute. I mean she’s got
those little button eyes and that long, bouncy black hair and that huge red
bow on her head. I mean it just, it suits her somehow. She also seems to keep
a pet rat, which isn’t cute, but not like there’s a problem with that or
anything. Sweetheart spends her free time brewing Secret Medicine, which,
like its counterparts in other games, fully restores Link’s hearts should he
at any time run out. As a little bonus, she’ll also restore all of Link’s
hearts upon purchase, though unlike in Zelda II, this happens on-camera, so
we can’t make childish jokes about it. Conveniently, these services are quite
easy to access: If you play Manbo’s Mambo outdoors, you’ll immediately
teleport to the pond in her backyard (such as it is), which makes me really
wonder just what kind of magical-properties schwerve is going on with that
thing. Maybe she makes her Medicine out of the water?
Given the fact that half the cast of Link’s Awakening come from other games,
it’s fitting that Crazy Tracy herself appeared in an another game. It’s funny
because she was almost LA’s only original character. Captain*Rainbow, a
Nintendo-published carnival of obscure references, features not only Crazy
Tracy, but Birdo, Little Mac, Mappo from GiFTPiA, Drake Redcrest from Chibi-
Robo, and Lip from Panel de Pon. It features protagonist Nick and his
adventures on Mimin Island as he uses his sentai-like powers of superhero
transformation to regain his lost popularity (lol, he’s a new property, when
was he ever popular in the first place?). Progressing in vaguely episodic
fashion, Nick helps the slew of referential characters he encounters fulfill
their deepest desires. Tracy, in particular, is a mild fanservice character
who wants to enslave all the men of the world and have them come to her
mansion to fawn about her throne. I don’t know, I didn’t quite get that vibe
from her in LA.
=============================================================================
C u b u s S i s t e r s
Calypsos
Race: Poes
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
After traversing several dangerous dungeons and rescuing the Spirits of
Power, Wisdom and Courage from their monstrous jailers, Link is finally able
to track down the Ghost Ship that took off with Tetra at the beginning of
Phantom Hourglass. Leaping aboard, he swiftly makes for its darkest and most
treacherous bowels, only to come across, of all the random things, a sweet
little girl. She wears a red riding hood, actually. She quickly explains that
her three sisters have gone and gotten lost elsewhere within the ship, and
she’s too afraid to go and find them herself. But look! Here’s Link, the
prophesied hero whom she somehow eerily knows all about, so won’t he please
go and retrive them? Oh, come on. Of course he will, Link can’t refuse a
request for help from anybody.
So he trundles off into the creaking abyss, and in short order he finds the
second sister and manages to convince her to follow. As it turns out, though,
his charges are some of the most uncooperative he’s ever had. Like other
people he’s had to escort in the past, not only do they freak out when
monsters are around and become useless until he kills them – which is
acceptable – but, like Zelda in the escape sequence of Ocarina of Time, they
get frightened if you WALK TOO FAST. They have trouble keeping pace with
Link, so you really have to be careful not to let them fall behind and start
cowering, or they’ll start fussing and you’ll have to talk to them to calm
them down and continue the journey. It’s a little more of a pain than it
would otherwise be, too, since they’re not as mobile as Link either, unable
to hop chasms or do much of anything other than waddle, really. On top of
that, they scream – and we all know how Phantoms and Reaplings react when
they hear loud noises. They teleport on top of your face.
As if all that weren’t enough, they give bad advice too. They instruct Link
not to hit the Reaplings in their sternal weak points, for example, and when
they reach a set of two chests, the third sister warns Link not to open the
left chest, because it’s a trap, while the right one holds a treasure. I
totally called her on this, but figured nah I’m being paranoid and opened the
right-hand one anyways. This was a mistake. It summoned another Reapling.
She tries to apologize and be all cute, but there’s a hint of joyous malice
in her tone somehow (even without VA.) By this point, it’s likely becoming
clear what’s really going on, given how unhelpful they’ve been. When Link
finally reunites all four sisters, they end their little game and begin
another one, assuming their true forms as Poe-like creatures (fitting that
Poes would be the bosses of the GHOST Ship), not unlike the Little Women of
OoT. The Diabolical Cubus Sisters then proceed to attack in a manner usually
reserved for Ganondorf, Vaati or individuals under their control (Agahnim,
Phantom Ganon, etc), which is to say they fire balls of coloured energy at
Link that he must deflect by batting them away with his sword. As is
customary, the paths of his bunts has nothing to do with where on the sword
it connects, or the angle of his weapon, or even the direction he’s facing.
Just to make things more interesting, they freakin’ shoot laser beams out of
their eyes. Anyway, if you keep repelling their energy balls they’ll start to
screw up and eventually miss; two impacts is enough to down a sister. The
battle intensifies when Link narrows the field down to just the eldest,
green-cloaked sister, as she starts to fire all kinds of projectiles
including energy balls that can’t be reflected in any way, which could
potentially lead to a Touhou-level Charlie Foxtrot of stuff flying around
trying to kill you, though at least you don’t have to play Trauma Centre at
the same time or something. That’d be more brutal than awkwardly inserting
gratuitous amounts of inappropriate references into one sentence. So hey
yeah, after the final sister tastes her own medicine three times – which
makes me question why she would fire the reflectable energy ball at all
instead of keeping with her unpunishable attacks – she falls to the ground,
surrenders the Ghost Key that allows access to stoned Tetra, and
disintegrates as so many Zelda bosses do.
=============================================================================
C u c c o L a d y
Perhaps Zyrtec would help
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
The Minish Cap
The residents of Kakariko Village are known for being a little...off beat.
The Cucco Lady does nothing to tarnish its reputation. (‘Sell me something
with C guy’ is also up there.) The Cucco Lady raises Cuccos even though she’s
allergic; that’s why she’s sneezing all the time. I think she does it because
her grandmother raised Cuccos or something. She can’t even keep all the
Cuccos in the pen, and enlists Link to gather them all up. His reward is an
Empty Bottle. Her avian escapees cause similar problems in The Minish Cap,
and Link is again called into action, but this time has a few differences:
The Cuccos run away (requiring the Pegasus Boots for the squirellier ones),
the game is played over several rounds, and for some reason, it’s timed.
=============================================================================
D a l t u s
One King of Hyrule
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Minish Cap
The Minish Cap-era King of Hyrule. He is quite tall and obese, and he wears a
long red robe, and he’s rendered in the GBA’s version of cel-shading, and
thus he bears a striking resemblance to Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule. He
reportedly was a great swordsman in his youth, and fought to a draw with
Link’s uncle Smith one year at the Picori Festival. He’s become a huge wimp
since then, since the most initiative he takes when his own daughter is
kidnapped is to tell his guards to look for her and assign Link a few special
missions that will hopefully lead to her recovery.
He apparently does a not-bad job at ruling Hyrule, however, as his subjects
seem pretty happy. Minister Potho, who looks like a flea, assists him in this
endeavour. Mayor Hagen takes care of Hyrule Castle Town itself.
=============================================================================
D a m p e
Insert lame joke about ‘digging’ graves
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
The Minish Cap
The Kakariko Village Graveyard is located just behind the village itself.
This is the final resting place of all Kakariko and Hyrule Castle Town
citizens. Those who swore fealty to the Hylian Royal Family long ago get
special lots. Towards the very back, with a headstone that’s taller than you
are, is the Royal Tomb. Link can enter the tomb and wander around in it, and
for some reason a song written by the Composer Brothers is down there. In
adult form, Link will be harassed by Poes. A little kid wanders around,
because he likes it there, but complains that nobody thinks he’s scary
because he’s too cute.
Dampe is the gravekeeper.
He’s an ugly, short, hunched-over guy who looks like he was hit in the side
of the face with a sledgehammer. He always wears black robes, and he carries
around a shovel and lantern.
If Link knocks on his door during the daytime, he’ll get yelled at – Dampe is
working the graveyard shift, after all (true historical term), and he needs
his beauty sleep. At night, though, he runs the Heart-Pounding Grave-digging
Tour, where he’ll follow Link around the cemetery and dig wherever he tells
him to, for 10 Rupees each time. Good luck will yield some nice prizes, like
a Heart Piece.
Seven years later, he’s died. The little kid takes over and Dampe gets his
own tomb. If Link finds it, he can enter and meet Dampe’s ghost. Dampe had a
cool springy toy when he was alive, and he’ll give it to Link if he can keep
up with him as he speeds through the adjacent tombs, dropping fire from his
lantern. The toy is actually the Hookshot, probably the coolest item in video
game history, no exaggerations. It shoots a pointed wedge with a chain
attached, allowing Link to cross gaps, hit stuff from afar, grab hard-to-
reach items and attack enemies. It got screwed over in The Wind Waker,
though. If Link keeps up in a second, harder race, he’ll get a Piece of
Heart.
He plays a similar roll in Majora’s Mask as groundskeeper of Ikana Graveyard,
but his attendance is inverted. The Stalchildren come out at night, and they
scare the crap out of him, so he can be found only during the day. If Link
wears the Captain’s Hat, which makes him look like the leader of the
Stalchildren, he’ll cry that they’ve started coming out in the daytime too,
and run away screaming.
He once again reprises his role in The Minish Cap, where he tends Royal
Valley. All he does is give Link a key and help him reach the end of the
segment, but at least this time he isn’t afraid of something that comes with
the job.
============================================================================
D a r k L i n k
Amorphous inner evil
Race: Shadows
Appearances: The Adventure of Link
Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
Four Swords Adventures
Spirit Tracks
Any way you slice it, Dark Link (in any of his several forms) is a
fascinating character. After all, our boy Link is a paragon of courage and
benevolence, and Dark Link is basically him – on the polar opposite end of
the morality spectrum. His origins and motivations are a mystery, but it’s
endless fun to speculate.
I’ve listed all of these together in the same profile, under the name of Dark
Link because that’s probably the version most players will be most familiar
with. But that does not mean they’re the same character by any means. They
could be, I guess, but I would tend to think of them as separate. Not that it
really makes a difference one way or another.
He made his debut as Link’s Shadow, the last boss in The Adventure of Link.
In that game, one had to traverse the frustratingly difficult Great Palace,
square off with the Thunderbird and then take on Link’s Shadow without rest.
Shadow Link was a palette swap of Link...except the new palette was entirely
black. Yup, he was just a silhouette. Except for magic, he could do
everything Link could, which meant he could both jump and use his sword. He
had the two special sword techniques (the Downward and Upward Thrusts) and,
once he got going, he attacked relentlessly. There was potential for a long
and tough fight, but players could exploit the relatively simple behaviour
pattern for a very quick and easy one. They simply had to jump, which would
cause Link’s Shadow to lower his shield. They would then slash on the way
down, smacking him in the noggin. Shadow Link would be knocked back, and the
process would be repeated as necessary. Still, he was a pretty original boss
character for the time.
His first appearance as Dark Link was in Ocarina of Time as the Water Temple
mini-boss. The fight took place in a huge room that housed an ankle-deep
lake. Link’s shadow was clearly visible in the reflection of the water. When
he ran over the centre island’s pool of water, however, it mysteriously
vanished. Link then saw the locked door, turned around, and found Dark Link
waiting on the island. This fight involved a considerably better set of
actions; for one thing, Dark Link had the ability to spring up and disappear
at will, and easily evaded Link’s stabs. This battle was fairly non-linear in
regards to how Dark Link could be defeated, and I’ve seen a number of
different strategies. A few of the more popular ones are straight
swordfighting, Spin Attacks, the Megaton Hammer and Din’s Fire. When Dark
Link went down, the illusion disappeared and the room was just an ordinary,
closed-in Water Temple chamber. The prize was the Longshot (well, actually it
was a Small Key unlocking the room beyond, which contained the Longshot.)
I’m not sure this next one counts, but arguably a form of Dark Link appeared
as Fierce Deity Link (Kiishin Rinku) in Majora’s Mask. At the end of his
quest, Link was transported to the inside of the moon, where he found a tree
with a kid sitting under it and four prancing around it. They each wore the
mask of one of the game’s four dungeon bosses, except for the sitting kid who
wore Majora’s Mask. If Link had collected all 20 Happy Masks, he could trade
them to partake in each child’s mini-dungeon. If he completed them all before
talking to the Majora Child, the spirit would notice that Link had no masks
and give him the Fierce Deity’s Mask so they could play ‘good guys and bad
guys.’ Link was the bad guy. The Fierce Deity was apparently a demon whom the
early Termina Hylians sealed in a mask. When Link dons the mask, he takes on
a form much like his adult one from Ocarina of Time, but with armour, a
whitish-blue colour scheme, eyes without pupils, and a really big, double-
helixish sword that can shoot fireballs, even after he’s taken damage.
Beating Majora’s Mask was a snap as the Fierce Deity. (By the way, the reason
he’s here is because of the whole ‘dark spirit’ thing.)
The Adventure of Link had Link’s Shadow, so Four Swords Adventures turned
that around and gave us Shadow Link. An apparition created by Vaati, Shadow
Link tricked Link into drawing the Four Sword and being sundered. After that,
he caused mayhem throughout Hyrule, and produced at least three copies of
himself. Setting fires and harassing civilians, he showed up twice each
stage, where whoever smacked him could snag 100 Force Gems. He was also a
boss for several stages – these battles were usually waged on both the Light
World TV screen and the Dark World GBA screen. He would eventually take on a
colour, and only the corresponding Link could damage him in this state.
Dark Link also showed up kind of out of nowhere as the ‘secret’ boss of
Spirit Tracks, where he reigned as the final challenge of Take ‘Em All On,
Level 3. Unfortunately, he was also the most underwhelming boss of the entire
game, as his attacks did shockingly little damage, he himself went down in
like ten hits, and Link was limited to his sword only, turning the whole
affair into a tactless slashfest. That said, some of his attacks were quite
cool, as he was capable of using some of the classic Zelda arsenal,
particularly Bombs, which he would toss your way before immediately pulling
out the Bow and firing, detonating it right away. If you ran out of range of
the explosion, he would proceed to fire continuous volleys until you were
able to approach again, making the best strategy here to attack him before he
could throw the Bomb in the first place. He also had some sword tricks of his
own, including a delayed slash followed by a Jump Attack (after which he was
briefly vulnerable), and either of the two special techniques, provided Link
had already acquired them himself by that point (mine knew the Great Spin
Attack but not the Sword Beam.)
Oh, and I guess it’s worth mentioning that he appears in Super Smash Bros
Melee, in Event Match 18: Link’s Adventure. Here, he’s basically a Level 9
Link, but coloured black instead of textured. Defeating him isn’t much
trouble, unless you suck at Smash, but it’s a cool idea anyway.
=============================================================================
D a r m a n i
Stalwart defender
Race: Goron
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
Gorons are accustomed to living in warm, dry climates, like underground or
inside a volcano. Termina, like it’s other-dimension counterpart Hyrule, was
bathed in perpetual spring. So when Skull Kid started his takeover and froze
over Snowhead Mountain, the Gorons were in for quite a shock. The direct
cause of all this could be addressed if one were to travel to defeat Goht.
The Gorons’ only warrior, Darmani, attempted just this, and was killed in the
process.
The Gorons built a shrine to remember him, but his spirit couldn’t move on
because he knew his people were suffering. Link is able to see Darmani’s
ghost using the Lens of Truth, and follows him to the shrine. His ghost is
dark grey and has no pupils. Notably, one can see a large gash running from
his upper-left chest to lower-right belly; it’s safe to assume this is from
the killing blow dealt him by Goht. Link plays the Song of Healing for him
and we watch his first moments in the afterlife as he goes to meet his dead
comrades – he’s scared as hell, but he doesn’t shy away and instead boldly
meets the next life (though he screams.) Link gets the Goron Mask, allowing
him to assume Darmani’s form.
In this form, Link can throw his weight around, attack with a powerful three-
part fiery punching combo, roll around like the Hot Rodder Goron (and
others), and play songs on the Goron Bongos.
=============================================================================
D a r u n i a
Jovial dancer
Race: Goron
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
The Goron leader is called the Big Brother Goron. Now I’m sure Darunia is a
good administrator and all, but he has quite a cold personality. When the
Dodongos chase the Gorons out of Dodongo Cavern, their main source of food,
they begin to starve. Man, if it’s not one thing it’s another with the
Gorons, eh? Anyway, Darunia locks himself into his room and refuses to accept
visitors until Link plays Zelda’s Lullaby in front of his door, and even then
he only admits him because he thinks he’s a royal messenger. Stupid Hylians,
always abandoning the Gorons in their times of need.
He perks up when he hears Saria’s Song, though, and does quite an energetic
dance. He then gives Link the Goron’s Bracelet, an item so huge Link wears it
around his upper arm, which lets him pick Bomb Flowers safely. When Link
vanquishes King Dodongo and the Gorons are able to return and get their much-
needed, tasty rock sirloin, he gives Link the Goron’s Ruby, the Spiritual
Stone of Fire.
Later on, when Volvagia is eating the Gorons and imprisoning those he plans
to eat later, Darunia enters the Fire Temple and tries to fight Volvagia.
(Darmani has a similar encounter in Majora’s Mask, except Darunia survives.)
He fails, of course, but asks Link to give it a try in his stead. When he
Link does kill Volvagia and rids Death Mountain of its fiery ring (which
temporarily replaced the smoky one), Darunia awakens as the Sage of Fire and
stays at the Fire Temple to protect it and pray to the gods for Link’s
success.
In the seven years Link spends in suspended animation, Darunia somehow
produces a son and names him after Link, in honour of the Sworn Brother bond
they share.
=============================================================================
D a v i d J r.
Absconded workhorse
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
The Minish Cap
With the introduction of David Jr, Knuckle and Ankle, Tingle became a whole
lot creepier. He enlisted the labour of not only his little brothers but also
some person from NOBODY KNOWS WHERE to work ceaselessly churning the gears of
a giant lighthouse on a tiny island in the middle of the sea modelled to look
like a giant effigy of his own head stuck atop a totemless totem poll. Not
only did he do this, but he forced the trio to wear a uniform, that is, one
of the full-body-spandex-babysuit-plus-speedo things that he wears himself,
except that David Jr’s was white and brown where Tingle garbed himself in
green and red. For some reason, despite Link being the kind of guy who would
travel across an entire country on foot in order to pick a flower for some
guy to give to the girl he likes just because he doesn’t have the courage to
confess on his own power, open slavery seems to be A-ok in his books, because
he doesn’t due a thing to help the poor guy. Maybe David Jr just complains
too much and gets on the perpetually hardworking Link’s nerves. Try asking
nicely next time!
His role in The Minish Cap is a little less wretched: He sits atop a plateau
and offers to fuse Kinstone pieces. Doing so enough times with all four
members of the party opens up some super-secret stuff.
The identity of David Sr is unknown.
=============================================================================
D e k a d i n
Decadence
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Oracle of Ages
With official artwork not remotely resembling his in-game sprite, Dekadin
lives in a lightless house in Lynna City. He’s really negative and depressed
all the time, with no motivation or even the slightest inclination to go
outside or talk to anyone. In an effort to cheer him up (and, incidentally,
obtain the Noble Sword), Link tells him the Funny Joke. The humour is lost on
him, but, moved that someone would even make the effort, Dekadin offers Link
the Touching Book in thanks.
=============================================================================
D e k u R o y a l F a m i l y
Wooden monarchs
Race: Deku Scrubs
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
Deku Scrubs have been consistently showing up as a variant of Octoroks since
Ocarina of Time, but only a handful have had real character, and only the
Deku Royal Family is worth mentioning. Unlike most of the major characters in
Majora’s Mask, they have no Ocarina of Time counterparts.
They reside in Deku Palace, which is accessible only by ferry since the
surrounding waters are poisonous. It is guarded by a number of patrolling,
three-leaved Scrubs who will throw you out if they find you someplace you
shouldn’t be.
The Deku King rules the Scrubs of Termina, but he seems to be a little
corrupt; he spends all three days punishing a monkey accused of kidnapping
his daughter, even though the only proof he has is a single eyewitness. He
has a number of pointy leaves for hair, carries a flowery sceptre, and
inexplicably has a giant red bulb growing out of his back. Uh...
The princess has, in actuality, been kidnapped by Skull Kid. Odolwa is
holding her in in Woodfall Temple, and Link rescues her when he defeats the
Mayan warrior. Somehow, she’s able to shrink herself small enough to fit
inside an empty Bottle, by which method Link transports her safely back to
the arms of her father. She smacks him for being stupid, too. She’s a little
more detailed than an ordinary scrub, and she has a ponytail made out of a
whip of leaves accented with pink flowers. The monkey accused of kidnapping
her is actually her best friend, Kiki.
They are both attended by their uppity English butler, who has two bushes
growing out of his head and a moustache made from pointed leaves. If Link is
able to keep up with him in a race, much like with Dampe in Ocarina, he wins
the Mask of Scents. He also has a son who has been frozen into a still tree,
and he cries at his feet in the closing cutscene. Oddly, this is Link’s
Terminian counterpart – the Deku Scrub he can transform into has no name, but
is clearly the Deku Butler’s Son! In fact, after winning the race he mentions
how much Link looks like his son, pretty much proving this theory.
=============================================================================
D e m o n T r a i n
Sentient steam engine
Race: Machine
Appearances: Spirit Tracks
We might be stretching the definition of ‘character’ a little far here, but
Spirit Tracks is so filled with rampant train fetishism that we might as well
indulge ourselves as well. An ancient legendary train of dark origins, the
Demon Train makes its mighty appearance almost as soon as the adventure
begins, trashing Link’s first train, which it totally outclasses, before
allowing Cole to make off with Zelda’s body. Man, I wish I had an
interdimensionally travelling train at my disposal. Or a car even, yeah that
would be nice too. It’s sort of creepy, by the way, because it has a face on
the front of the engine, which is how I figure it qualifies as a character.
The Demon Train serves as Cole’s (and, until his defection, Byrne’s) means of
transporation throughout Hyrule, though it’s really only seen again when it
appears to whisk the newly resurrected Malladus off to the Dark Realm. It
then appears in the first part of an epic four-part final battle, which is
the real reason I’m including it in the guide (so that I can detail the
entire thing, even if it is spread across way too many entries to be coherent
if you haven’t played the game.) This part, which come to think of it is
somewhat reminiscent of Jet Set Radio Future’s second-last boss, requires
Link to jet down a set of four parallel tracks at high speed in pursuit of
the Demon Train, which is firing upon him constantly. Link must fight back
with his own projectiles, changing speeds or tracks as necessary in order to
maintain the optimum position and avoid attacks. As his shots strike home,
the train begins to break down, losing first most of its weapons systems,
then its cargo hold, and finally the whole thing just going straight to hell.
A pain, but fun, and a great set piece. It then sits patiently while Link,
Zelda and Cole scurry around on top of it.
=============================================================================
D i n, N a y r u a n d F a r o r e
Creation story lynchpins
Race: Goddesses, or Hylians
Appearances: A Link to the Past
Ocarina of Time
Oracle of Seasons
Oracle of Ages
The Wind Waker
The Minish Cap
Din, Nayru and Farore are, first and foremost, the legendary Three Goddesses
who figure into Hyrule’s creation story. They were briefly mentioned in the
instruction manual of A Link to the Past, but they weren’t even given names.
They were much expanded upon in several Ocarina of Time cutscenes and other
media, so I’ll summarise their contribution to the world here:
To begin with, the place Hyrule would occupy was a swirling mass of
raw...well...what do you even call something that doesn’t exist yet? Anyway,
the Three Goddesses descended upon whatever this was and sought to bring
order and life to it.
Din – Goddess of Power. Created and shaped the land.
Nayru – Goddess of Wisdom. Created science, wizardry and the arts.
Farore – Goddess of Courage. Created living things.
On the spot where they flew back to their angelic perches, they left a
physical symbol of their action. This way, their creations might learn from
them. It was three golden triangles, called the Triforce. Sounding familiar?
Not only did it exist physically, each piece of it was imprinted on a
particular person and his or her infinite reincarnations throughout the
years. But the Triforce has such a complex history, it could have its OWN
guide, so I won’t dig any deeper.
I could go into a hell of a lot more detail, of course, but everything else I
could tell you is not really of interest to the average reader. There are
plenty of other easily accessible resources if you’d like to learn more about
the Three Goddesses.
What’s interesting to me is that the Triforce of Power, the one Ganon has, is
often portrayed as the ‘best’ of the three. Meanwhile, Link’s, the Triforce
of Courage, tends to be positioned as subordinate to the other two. This
could have something to do with the order in which the Goddesses are
mentioned – Power, Wisdom, Courage. I don’t know. This is highly debatable, I
just find it to be an interesting interpretation.
They appeared as Hylians in the Oracle saga. Din was the eponymous Oracle of
Seasons, masquerading as a dancer in a troupe of performers. She was
kidnapped by Onox and thrown into a crystal. Nayru was the Oracle of Ages,
and a talented musician, but Veran possessed her body. Farore played a much
lesser role as the Oracle of Secrets found on the first floor of the Maku
Tree. Several times, Link received a secret in one game that had to be
brought to Farore in the other game. Doing so gave him upgraded equipment.
The goddesses are once again unnamed in The Wind Waker, but I might as well
mention them here. When the seal on Ganondorf’s Golden Realm prison started
to weaken, the goddesses drowned Hyrule so that he would never escape. He
still somehow found a way out, however, so it was all for nought. The point
is, they’re the reason Hyrule is underwater and The Wind Waker takes place on
the ocean.
Their Hylian versions reappeared in The Minish Cap. They shared a room at the
inn until Link performed a two-for-one act of good citizenship: He found Ingo
two tenants, and he found two of the ladies houses to live in. Only two,
though, and it was smartest to pick Din and Nayru (see? Farore once again
gets the shaft.) When Link talked to them in their new homes, they were so
pleased they presented him with a special artefact that would temporarily up
either his attack power, his defensive abilities, or both (but that last one
entailed a much lower bonus.)
Din is represented by red, Nayru is represented by blue, and Farore is
represented by green.
=============================================================================
D o c B a n d a m
Apothecary
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Doc Bandam is pretty cool. Clad in a long red jacket and protective goggles
that adorn his shaved head, he owns and operates the dimly lit and awesome
Chu Jelly Juice Shop on Windfall Island, where he spends every waking moment
mixing Chu Jelly elixirs and inventing new ones. Initially, all he has on
offer is Red Potion, but if you unload enough of your own collected Chu Jelly
on him, he’ll figure out how to mix Green and Blue Potions as well. That
makes him a sort of mixologist, doesn’t it? You can also give him some Chu
Jelly out of which he’ll make you a free Potion, too, I guess because he just
loves it so much. As we learn from a piece of incidental gossip, Doc Bandam
also makes the occasional research trip to the Chuchu-infested Pawprint Isle
to gather Chu Jelly, and probably to observe its effects. Excellent! I love a
character who can stand on their own two feet, as it were, and travelling to
other islands is a level of werwithal not many characters have in this
series.
=============================================================================
D o n G e r o
Chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool
Race: Goron
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
I actually have my doubts that the Goron some sources claim is Don Gero
actually is that person, but why go against the flow. The more entries this
guide has, the more credibility it earns at a glance.
So we find ‘Don Gero’ in Snowhead shivering and stranded on a high ledge;
currently taking all bets as to how he got up there. As we know, fatigue and
hunger increase the effects of cold on the body, so our mission is to bring
him some tasty Rock Sirloin, which we get by lighting the braziers in Goron
City, playing the Goron’s Lullaby to the Elder’s son, and then rolling at
high speed, hopping off a jump and bashing through the chandelier, knocking
out the starving people’s only emergency food source. When we offer it to one
of that society’s least productive members, he rewards us with his green
teddy bear-like hat/mask thing.
Don Gero’s Mask allows us to confront five frogs who will then begin to
assemble at the foot of the ledge on which Don Gero has taken residence. This
is way more of a pain than its worth if you aren’t going for full hearts,
because the amphibians are scattered on completely opposite ends of Termina,
two of them deep in dungeons, and all you get for the trouble is a Heart
Piece. Since most people will end up missing one or two others anyway it’s
probably not worth it. I mean obviously I still did it...
‘Gero’ is Japanese for ‘ribbit,’ and a don was like some kind of mediaevel
aristocrat or something.
=============================================================================
D o n k u r u
Tingle’s best friend
Race: Dog
Appearances: Mogitate Chinkuru no Barairo Rupiirando
I hate dogs. Donkuru is a character from Tingle’s Japanese-only RPG, Mogitate
Tingle. And he’s a dog. When Tingle gets his new duds at the beginning of the
game, Donkuru dresses to match his owner. I don’t believe he has any kind of
practical in-game purpose, but then, does any part of that game have a
purpose, really? Does video gaming in general have a purpose? Does life?
=============================================================================
E e n i e a n d M e e n i e
Vegetable farmers
Race: Hylians
Appearances: The Minish Cap
With quite possibly the two worst names in the entire Zelda franchise, Eenie
and Meenie are some of those characters who would have been better off not
having been named, and not just because it would mean I wouldn’t have to
think up things to say about them. They own a nice vegetable farm in the
Eastern Hills, hence their profession, and have a close business relationship
with Brocco, who buys, processes and then sells all of their finest produce.
I’m not sure how this works since Brocco can’t be found anywhere in Hyrule
after the Picori Festival ends, but there you have it. Like 95% of the
otherwise useless characters in this game, Eenie is willing to fuse Kinstones
with you.
=============================================================================
E p o n a
Link’s trusty steed
Race: Purebred horse
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
Oracle of Seasons
Four Swords Adventures
The Minish
Twilight Princess
Link first met Epona as a child in Ocarina of Time, where he saw her at Lon
Lon Ranch. She would run away from him whenever he approached, afraid of him.
Malon, however, sung her a lullaby every night, which Link quickly learned to
play on the Ocarina. After he played Epona’s Song, the pony trusted him a
little more.
When he became an adult and learned that Ingo had taken over Lon Lon Ranch,
he found that he was horribly mistreating the animals. He had people pay to
ride the horses around their enclosure, which looked a little like an
equestrian course. Ingo recognized some natural horsemanship abilities in
Link and had him a race around the outside of the enclosure with 50 Rupees on
the line. When Link won, he had a second race with Epona’s ownership as the
prize. (Winning either of the races with one of the stock mares is
impossible; Ingo’s ride is just too fast.) He then tried to lock Link in, but
Epona’s amazing jumping abilities allowed her to clear the ranch walls with
ease. Ingo realised at the last moment that Link had been riding Epona, the
best of the bunch. He was quite jealous, because she threw HIM every time he
climbed into the saddle. After this, Link was able to summon her whenever he
was on Hyrule Field by playing Epona’s Song.
At the beginning of Majora’s Mask, Link is riding through Kokiri Forest
looking for Navi when Skull Kid ambushes him. He steals Epona and rides off
into a portal. Link finds she’s been taken to Romani Ranch, and he can’t
rescue her until almost halfway through the game. Skull Kid has blocked off
Milk Road with a rock, and the assigned worker takes two days to clear it;
Link must blow it up with a Powder Keg to clear it on the first day, from
which point he can take steps to liberate Epona. Oddly, he wasn’t able to
ride her in child form in Ocarina, but in Majora’s Mask this was the only
form he could ride her in. Of course, in the latter game she’s still a pony,
which is kind of interesting.
Epona cameos briefly at the beginning of Oracle of Seasons, where Link is
seen riding her towards the not-yet-sunken Temple of Seasons. No, wait – come
to think of it, maybe it was Hyrule Castle...?
She played a part in Four Swords Adventures as well, where players could
briefly ride her by collecting a carrot item, extending their time by
collecting further carrots (which were usually arranged in a path for this
purpose.) The Links could trample each other and collect the Force Gems that
the stomped ones dropped. Epona was also the focus of Bucking Bronco, part of
the Tingle’s Tower collection of minigames. This was a flat-out race that
raged on both screens.
Epona is basically a beast of burden in The Minish Cap. Her main purpose is
to haul shipments of Lon Lon Milk between the ranch and Hyrule Castle Town.
Her role was greatly expanded in Twilight Princess, though she was still
basically playing a bit part. She worked with Link at Ordon ranch, herding
goats, before being abducted by Bokoblins. Link later rescues her in Kakariko
Village. His childhood friend Ilia seems to be very fond of Epona, but the
noble beast still prefers her master. Late in the game, Ilia gives Link the
horse call; this allows him to summon Epona from just about anywhere, whereas
before he could only do this at specific places. In Twilight, Link’s mounted
combat options were greatly expanded; no longer limited to the bow, he could
attack with his sword and various dungeon items, plus ram into enemies and
trample them under Epona’s hooves.
When Link takes on his wolf form in Twilight, he can speak to animals. I
didn’t expect it to work, but it turns out Epona has this to say: ‘Even
though you change shape, I still understand you. Link...Hurry up and return
to your true self...’
On top of the obvious advantage of being a lot faster than walking, in all
her appearances except Twilight Princess, riding Epona grants Link
invincibility.
She is named after Epona, the goddess of horses, donkeys and mules in Celtic
polytheism.
=============================================================================
E r r o r
HTTP 404: File Not Found
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Adventure of Link
A blacksmith from Ruto Town who when first spoken to merely announces ‘I am
Error.’ A little later, another character references him, at which point his
dialogue changes to ‘South of the Palace is a tunnel.’ Uh...the only reason
he’s here, actually, is because of the name.
=============================================================================
E z l o
Larger than life
Race: Minish
Appearances: The Minish Cap
The Minish are a race of inch-high people who live amongst the Hylia without
them ever knowing. There are several Minish settlements throughout Hyrule,
but they are by far most concentrated at Minish Village in the Minish Woods.
Ezlo was originally a great Minish wizard. One day, his apprentice, Vaati,
lusting for power, turned on him and transformed him into a hat.
In his normal form, he wears a blue robe, carries a staff and wears the red
hat typical of the Forest Minish. Transfigured, Ezlo is the spitting image of
Link’s famous green cap, except that instead of a point it has his head and
birdlike beak. Uh...right. In this state, Ezlo can barely crawl, and is
easily attacked by local Octoroks. Link rescues him and he affixes to Link’s
head, then directs him to Minish Village. Ezlo still retains some of his
magical ability in this form, enough to change size at will. Ezlo is the
lynchpin on which sits the focal gimmick of his game: Switching between the
tiny Minish size and the customary Hylian size.
Ezlo has two other functions, which are providing general advice and
billowing out to allow Link to glide on the wind. He kind of serves a similar
purpose to Tatl, in that he speaks at times you would expect Link to. His
dialogue is the best in the game, if that means anything.
At the end of the game, when he, Link and Zelda defeat Vaati, the Minish Door
closes. From his choice of words, it sounds like he is only able to go
between sizes when the Door is open. That would make sense, considering the
Minish Door being open is supposedly what allows the Hylians and Minish to
briefly mingle. Even if that’s not the case, it’s unlikely that we’ll be
seeing Ezlo again, so give him a round of applause as he bids us adieu.
=============================================================================
F a c a d e
Face of Evil
Race: Demon
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Oracle of Seasons
Although next to nothing is known about Facade, he’s kind of an intriguing
character due to his knowledge of the actual situation surrounding Koholint.
As far as I can remember he’s the only character on the entire island who has
any idea that everything around them is more (or rather, less) than it seems.
Facade guards the Coral Triangle, the holy prize of Level 6, Face Shrine. The
battle is a little different; it sees you dodging fireballs, slaying mites,
and running from a hole in the floor that tracks your every move. Viewed from
a real-life perspective, that last one is more than a little creepy. Anyway,
the secret to damaging him is to detonate a Bomb right on top of his smug
mug, at which point the pain will make him snap and he’ll go berserk for a
bit, after which point you’ll repeat the process. Upon his defeat he’ll utter
these chilling words:
‘Okay, listen up! If the Wind Fish wakes up, everything on this island will
be gone forever! And I do mean...EVERYTHING!’
The tableaus at the Dream Shrine and Southern Face Shrine said as much, but
Facade explicitly spells it out for you. Over the course of the game, we’ve
gone from ‘Off we go to wake the Wind Fish!’ to ‘You sure you really want to?
Maybe here isn’t so bad, you know?’ to ‘If you do, you’re going to kill
hundreds of innocent people.’ Facade’s death provided just enough of an
answer to prompt a slew of further questions, and left you with lingering
doubts tugging at the back of your mind even as you forged ever onward on
your journey. Anybody who feels nostalgia for the days when a game didn’t
need million-dollar FMVs to garner emotional involvement is right.
However, using his immense powers of awesomeness Facade transcended not only
his own death, but also that of the entire plane of existence that had
originally given him life, reappearing in Oracle of Seasons against all odds,
probably because he was a unique fight and they figured they might as well
make use of some of the sprites and programming already at their disposal. I
prefer to take it as evidence of Facade’s badassery, though, even if he was
demoted to mini-boss. Oh, and although he doesn’t say anything very important
or interesting he still talks here, which I forgot to mention is an
incredible rarity among Zelda bosses or any Nintendo bosses, really, and
which singlehandedly makes Facade a medal-winner right from the start.
Note 1: Every time I write ‘Facade,’ Word wants to automatically give the ‘c’
a cedilla, which I then have to manually remove because GameFAQs’s ASCII-only
format will make it appear weirdly. It’s as bad as having to take out each
and every automatically capitalized ‘I’ in character namespaces. You’ll never
realise how often the I”s show up in names until you write a character guide,
unless you make the smart decision to find a better way of making things
searchable and appealing than putting s p a c e s in all the profile titles.
Note 2: When I called him a demon I wasn’t BS’ing, even if I do it at other
places in the guide. This one I’m pretty sure I read somewhere, although that
may be a product of my imagination.
Note 3: So yeah, if you were not born in a country where basic knowledge of
French is assumed, Facade just means face. Nowadays it has a connotation of
falsehood, and is also commonly used in architecture to describe the ‘front’
part of a building. Flying balistrodes or something, I think I read that in
The Fountainhead.
=============================================================================
F a d o
Androgynous sage
Race: Kokiri
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
The Wind Waker
Twilight Princess
Damn, is Fado ever irritating.
Fado first appeared in Kokiri Forest. I remember seeing her as child Link. As
I recall, she was a girl with two bulbous blonde knobs of hair. Her fairy, I
believe, was blue. Actually, her very existence is fancruft: Only the most
dedicated fan of Ocarina of Time, who scoured every last resource delving far
deeper into the game than was necessary, would ever come across the evidence
stating her name. When spoken to, even later on in the game, she said
something inconsequential.
She was absent for some time, then reappeared in The Wind Waker. As a guy.
I don’t know who screwed this one up. My money is on Nintendo of America’s
localization department. But when I heard (?) Fado’s name in Waker, I was
delighted, until I found out that somebody had horribly mangled the
character.
Not only is Fado a dude now, he’s also a ghost because Ganondorf somehow
killed him while still inside the Golden Realm. His apparel has changed as
well, obviously, as he’s donned pants and a short cap in place of boyshorts
(O_o she’s ten) and a bare head. This Fado is also the Sage of Winds, and
Makar’s ancient ancestor. I’m not sure how a creature originally associated
with the Forest became associated with the Winds, but it is notable that Link
in The Wind Waker is the Hero of Winds, and Link in Ocarina of Time grew up
among the Kokiri.
Hold on a moment - Brie Fusaro tells me that The Wind Waker Official Player’s
Guide, Fado is actually referred to as a guy in one instance, and as a girl
in another. Ugh.
Anyway, Fado is also associated with the Wind God’s Aria, the second half of
The Wind Waker’s theme, and after being awakened at the Wind Temple he helps
power up the Master Sword so that it is strong enough to defeat Ganondorf.
It gets weirder. All ambiguity is thrown to the winds as Twilight Princess’s
Fado is most definitely a guy. And a big, burly, goat-herding country bumpkin
of a guy at that. Supposedly, he helps Link run Ordon Ranch and takes over
when Link leaves on his quest to save Hyrule. Unfortunately, Fado is terrible
at farming and can’t even control his own livestock. They have a tendency to
ignore him when he tries to bring them in for the night and sometimes they
escape when he’s not looking, forcing Link to wrestle them to the ground
before they get away. All in all, not a whole lot of help, and an individual
who makes the whole Fado character even more hermaphroditic than before.
=============================================================================
F a n a d i
Best fortune-teller in this series
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
Twilight Princess’s Hyrule Castle Town is one heck of a busy place; in fact,
it’s probably the most sprawling, populous, active conurbation in the entire
series. It’s also quite dense, not just with bodies but with points of
interest as well. One of those is Fanadi the fortune-teller, who, for a
nominal fee of 10 Rupees, will give you insight on either your ‘career’ (your
next quest destination...questination) or ‘love’ life (undiscovered Pieces of
Heart). Unlike certain others, such as Astrid, she fails to suck at life, and
her predictions are much clearer than those of her compatriots. And in an
especially cool touch that really puts her over the top, rather than just
telling you with words, she shows you a sort of vision - a little panning
shot of the area you’re to head off to. She has a pretty atypical fashion
sense, too, as compared to what we’re used to seeing with Nintendo. Guess
that sort of goes along with TP’s aesthetic.
The first thing I notice with Fanadi’s name is that (at least with my
[possibly incorrect] pronunciation) is that it rhymes with vanity, which
suits her sort of not really, but others have pointed out that the syllables
are derived from FArore, NAyru, and DIn, possibly revealing a connection to
them or to the Spirits of Ordona, Lanayru, Faron, and Eldin. Perhaps that’s
where she draws her foresight from?
=============================================================================
F e r r u s
Densha Otoko
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Spirit Tracks
Ferrus is to trains what Winry Rockbell is to automail, which is to say he’s
about as passionate an enthusiast as one could find. He lives in a trailer at
Wellspring Station, but he’s almost never there, constantly riding the rails
in search of trains to photograph on a seemingly perpetual day off. Link
encounters Ferrus quite a number of times, and he is only too happy to help
him out with information, maps and anything else he can provide. Later on, he
even gets to ride in the Spirit Train as a passenger, which pretty much makes
his lifetime. This is also where his tendency to use txt msg shorthand and
other ‘nerdy’ phrases really shows itself, as he yells ‘Woot!’ (not even
‘w00t’...) whenever Link does something correctly. At other times, he usually
confines himself to ‘OMG,’ though sometimes in a very large font size. These
Ferrus-carrying missions entail receiving a letter from him with an extremely
nondescript photo attached; by examining it, Link is to determine where
Ferrus is hanging out these days and head there to pick him up. He’ll then
toss out a destination and we’re off to the races.
The first one is a quick jaunt to Aboda Village so that Ferrus can meet
Alfonzo, whom he idolizes deeply as a Master Engineer. Alfonzo was once known
as a legendary swordsman, but Ferrus insists his reputation was actually for
being a legendary train conductor. He’s obsessed; love it. In another one, he
wants to go see the Ocean Temple for himself, which was certainly anger-
inducing, because getting there requires you to drive around underwater for
like an hour, and if you do everything in the game you’ll have to do it about
seven times, making it all the more aggravating. But he’s a good kid, and one
of the most likeable (and identifiable ^^;) Zelda characters in recent
memory, so I forgive him.
=============================================================================
F l u t e B o y
Talent show favourite
Race: Hylian
Appearances: A Link to the Past
A Kakariko Village native, the fanon-flaunting Flute Boy had gained a sturdy
reputation even in his youth, fascinating onlookers with the apparent ability
to communicate with animals using a small blue flute. He even had a pet bird
that flew with him everywhere. In time, however, he heard the rumours of the
Golden Power and set off to get his commoner’s hands on it. His motivations
aren’t exactly clear, but since nobody in Kakariko is mad at him or anything,
he must have either been merely misguided or had some community-oriented
altruistic purpose in mind; I like to believe he was questing for his
terminally ill girlfriend. He set off for Death Mountain, made his way into
what was once the Golden Land, and promptly found himself in dangerous
territory and unable to travel back. As happens to everyone who wanders in
without satisfying certain conditions (either consummate knowledge, a balance
of all three Trifroce influences, or possession or use of a Moon Pearl), his
body also took on the form of his true heart, in his case a robed goblin-like
creature. Under constant attack from Ganon’s minions and other malcontents
that had sprung up in the no-longer-sacred realm, he managed to take refuge
in the Haunted Grove.
When Link stumbles upon him in the midst of his Hyrulean explorations, it is
in the form of what have to be more or less taken as psychic emanations;
Flute Boy, jubilantly dancing atop a stump, seems to be holding regular
concerts for his fuzzy compatriots, using the Flute to broadcast a pirate
signal across worlds. This is an ability Link certainly never displays
(though it’s possible he chooses not to or we just don’t witness the effects,
but we can’t be sure), suggesting Flute Boy has a much greater mastery over
the item than Link ever attains, which is logical enough considering it
belongs to him. Flute Boy’s tunic and hat are nicely representative of what
we would imagine as Hyrulean youth fashion, although his hairstyle is a
little ‘can I see your other eye.’ Everybody seems to be having a grand time,
but as soon as Link draws near, everybody freaks out, the animals skitter
off, and Flute Boy himself mysteriously fades into nothingness.
Correctly guessing that, as seems to have become a pattern in his life
lately, the answer to this phenomenon lies in the Dark World, Link moves to
investigate and does indeed find Flute Boy standing on precisely the same
spot in the parallel dimension. Flute Boy has become quite depressed by his
condition, and asks if Link can help him fulfill his one and only wish: To be
reunited with his beloved instrument, which is actually still somewhere in
the Light World (which might, come to think of it, explain why he was able to
transcend boundaries and why he ended up in Haunted Grove in particular.)
After agreeing to help him, Link gets the Shovel, which right there is a
pretty sweet deal. After warping to the Light World grove, destroying the
idyllic field, and recovering the Flute, Link eagerly heads back through his
portal only to find that what was a stump in the Light World is a creepy
sapling in the Dark World. Also, it’s Flute Boy. Somehow his transformation
went several steps further while our backs were turned. Grateful, Flute Boy
asks for one more refrain, and then, if I remember this correctly, stiffens
into a braindead shell.
His last request was for Link to return the Flute to his father in Kakariko,
but the old-timer promptly pays it forward to Flute Boy’s old pigeon, who got
real sad when he could not follow his master into the unknown, and as a
result landed on his hometown weathervane and turned to stone. Hearing the
call to attention, the fowl breaks free of its self-sentenced imprisonment
and promptly becomes quite upset with Link for making him think that Flute
Boy had returned, but, as a number of unsettlingly intelligent animals do in
this series, realises that he can do something to help in the fight against
evil, and Link not only retains the Flute and comes into an easy way to
obliterate Pols Voices, but immediately gains the ability to summon the bird
at any time to fly him to any of eight locations across the map, including an
area he couldn’t access before. (So you can see that first we get the
Whistle, now the Flute - called the Ocarina in the original Japanese - and
later on, the Ocarina and then a slew of others; it’s kind of an interesting
progression.)
Happily, as a result of Link’s wish to the Triforce to undo all the damage
caused by Ganon’s ambition, Flute Boy is seen in the credits reunited with
his father, and all is well.
=============================================================================
F r e e d l e
Hippy
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
Oh wow. This guy, I mean, he’s a little bit scary, and I think I’d O_o a bit
if I saw him on the street, but he’s a pretty cool cat all in all. He’s got
some sweet round shades that are indeed straight out of the 70’s, a totally
awesome hibiscus-laden hat, a striped turtleneck, a dorky haircut, and a
massive tubular canister affixed to his back, all decked out in psychadelic
colours of the gnarliest order. Just like an environmental activist from an
overhyped television show, he carries his acoustic guitar with him
everywhere. Or maybe it’s a banjo, but whatever the case he spends all his
time strumming it in a secluded little spot on northeast Mercay Island. If
you speak to him and can sift through his radical verbiage, he’ll help you
enter Tag Mode to trade Ship Parts and other treasures over Nintendo WFC.
Some people have speculated that he is related to Beedle, but aside from his
similar name and nose there’s nothing whatsoever to suggest that he is, and
Nintendo is usually good about making obvious allusions when this stuff
happens so that those of who pay close attention can work it out :) So nah,
I’m saying no relation, he’s just another soul trying to make it in this
crazy, mixed-up world we call capitalist society.
=============================================================================
F u z o
Floorsweeper
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
Master Eddo’s apprentice, Fuzo is presumably learning the art of the mechanic
and how to manufacture, fine-tune and repair all manner of delicate yet
powerful contraptions. When we meet him, though, he doesn’t seem to be doing
any of those things. Instead, he’s watching the shop while Eddo sits in the
back room hard at work on his latest project. Although he never does much of
anything useful, he does open up a side-door so that Link can access pretty
much the entirety of Cannon Island, eventually coming up to Master Eddo’s
door so that he can place an order. Now listen, I’ve held back up to now, but
Phantom Hourglass’s islands have some pretty lame names. CANNON Island? And
they make cannon there? That’s a bit much of a coincidence. And the Isle of
Ember? Sounds like something I’d make up when I was 8 and obsessed with
Charmander’s Ember attack. ‘Hey guys, what do we call this snowy island? Snow
Island?’ ‘No way man, call it the Isle of FROST! It backwards AND uses
awesomely awesome word!’ ‘D00d no wai u too original bro! :D’
=============================================================================
F y e r a n d F a l b i
Entrepreneurs
Race: Hylians
Appearances: Twilight Princess
Fyer and Falbi’s Watertop Land of Fantastication is a very sly business
venture located at Lake Hylia. Both men are quite jolly, and Fyer appears to
have a wen. Both dress like carnies, or maybe clowns, which is sort of the
point. Fyer, a cannon enthusiast, fires Link out of his giant cannon for a
mere 10 Rupees, which rockets him up to Falbi’s high position near the Great
Hylia Bridge. From here, the participant can then pay Falbi 20 Rupees to grab
a Cucco and float slowly down to the water, hopefully to the Isle of Riches,
a man-made island on which they have placed a number of Rupee-filled treasure
chests. Only one chest gets refilled on future attempts; the rest are
oneshots. From this platform, one can return to Fyer’s portion of the game by
a log bridge from the Isle to his shack. If you do well, you can earn 70
Rupees each run. Quite an original mini-game, if you ask me.
Fyer twice helps advance your quest. Auru, one of Telma’s boys, once saved
his life, and Auru calls him on that debt. Fyer agrees to help Link enter the
Desert Province, which in Twilight era is adjacent to the Lake, again by
firing him out of the cannon. Later on, Link finds an even bigger cannon that
can fire him up to the City in the Sky, which Fyer repairs at a cost of 300
Rupees.
This is a stretch, but Fyer may be a play on ‘fly’ (or ‘flyer,’ as in, one
who flies, not those annoying ads you get in the mail) and Falbi may be a
play on ‘fall.’
=============================================================================
G a b o r a a n d Z u b o r a
Awesome dudes
Race: Hylian and...um.
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
Gabora and Zubora run the Mountain Smithy in Snowhead, which is a strange
name for a place, considering it was in perpetual spring before Skull Kid and
Goht made it snowy. Unless Termina and Hyrule and such all have full seasonal
systems and we just don’t see them, which would make sense come to think of
it. Plus we actually see this in action in Holodrum. So ANYWAY, they work in
a hut near Goron City, which mainly consists of a front desk, a table, and a
forge. The pair are members of a very elite club in the Zelda universe, being
makers of swords. Ok, so it’s not THAT elite; I guess they just kind of
interest me as a group.
Zubora, who seems to manage the business while Gabora does all the real work,
would be a true blue-collar type of guy if he had a collar, which he doesn’t.
He does, however, have blue overalls, which prominently display his nipples,
as well as a white sort of cap thing that rounds the top of his head in a
nice contrast to his Hylian ears and impressive goatee. He also seems to
drink a lot of what would ostensibly be coffee, except that it’s a sort of
bluish-yellow, and has really sallow skin as well as a small, pointed
moustache.
Gabora is slightly more interesting, looking like Frankenstein’s monster if
he were into S&M. Twice the height of a normal man, he makes good use of his
monstrous strength to swing a suitably huge hammer, the one that will shape
your blade. You can feel confident entrusting it to him; it’s in good hands.
The process of upgrading your sword in Majora’s Mask is a touch complex, but
only because the steps you go through all have to be done within a single
three-day period. First, you have to give up your Kokiri Sword for
‘sharpening,’ which, after you leave it overnight, turns it into the Razor
Sword, which is considerably more powerful and appears in much of the game’s
official artwork, but lasts for only 100 uses before dulling back to the
Kokiri Sword. We’re measuring things by number of uses now? What is this,
Fire Emblem? Anyway, you can either just wait or, if you feel confident
enough to take a two-minute walk while braving the horrors that are White
Wolfos, you can head straight for the Goron Racetrack, where you must assume
Goron form, talk to the Elder’s son (I guess this means you have to play the
lullaby for him first, too) and then win the race. So we have Beaver
Brothers, the Deku Butler and the Goron Racetrack - did anybody else ever
notice this game’s fascination with racing? This is the most fun one, since
bombing a hill while covered in spikes and destroying everything in your path
is rather cathartic, although it is irksome that the other competitors can
knock you around so easily when you’re in the body of supposedly the
strongest Goron warrior who ever lived. When you win the race you get some
Gold Dust in a Bottle, a sweet prize indeed; take the powdery stuff back to
the Mountain Smithy, receive your Razor Sword, and then pass it back along
with the Gold Dust. Zubora will be pretty startled by this turn of events but
quite pleasantly surprised because you’ll be investing more money in them.
After one more night, Gabora will have transformed your weapon into the
Golden Sword, something we haven’t seen since A Link to the Past, the second-
most powerful sword in the game (the most powerful being that of the Fierce
Deity’s Mask). This one is permanent, too, with unlimited uses (Prf), and
will even stay when you begin the three-day cycle anew.
=============================================================================
G a n o n
The physical manifestation of evil
Race: Gerudo
Appearances: The Legend of Zelda
The Adventure of Link
A Link to the Past
Link’s Awakening
Ocarina of Time
Oracle of Seasons
Oracle of Ages
The Wind Waker
Four Swords Adventures
Twilight Princess
Hoo boy. Ganon(dorf) is one awesome villain. The fiend has risen again and
again to attempt to conquer Hyrule, whose inherent magical qualities are so
strong he would effectively rule all existence if he were to succeed.
Fortunately, it is his destiny to be perpetually thwarted. Ganon is the one
character whom we KNOW is the same guy again and again, even when he shows up
in games that take place hundreds of years apart. His longevity, apparently,
is part of the effects of the Triforce of Power.
This is also the cause of his appearance later in life; Triforce lore
dictates that if one possesses the Triforce of Power without the Triforce of
Wisdom, one will begin to morph and take on a pig-like form. Nintendo seems
to differentiate between these two by referring to him in ‘human’ form as
Ganondorf, and ‘giant pig’ form as Ganon. I list him as Ganon because he
makes way more appearances in giant pig form than human one. He’s alternately
been called Mandrag Ganon (in A Link to the Past’s manual; it supposedly
means Ganon of the Enchanted Thieves) and Ganondorf Dragmire (in Ocarina of
Time, which I assume is an invention of Nintendo of America as a variant on
Mandrag.)
He makes his debut in pig form, of course, and as a pretty lame final boss.
He had a sort of bluish hue, and would move invisibly around the boss
chamber, pausing periodically to become briefly visible and toss fireballs at
Link. After four hits from the Magical Sword, he turned brown, at which point
a single shot from the Bow and Silver Arrow would reduce him to a pile of
dust. On second thought, that was pretty sophisticated for 8-bit. I can
imagine how frustrating it was to program. Story-wise, he was trying to get
that all-important Triforce of Wisdom from Zelda, who broke it and hid the
pieces.
Being that he was dead, during Zelda II his minions tried to resurrect him
with the blood of the one who vanquished him. If Link lost all his lives, a
victorious chuckle sounded and Ganon’s silhouette appeared on the Game Over
screen, because they had succeeded. That was the full extent of his
contributions. However, he made quite a resurgence for A Link to the Past,
wherein he brilliantly possessed Agahnim and used him as his pawn as he
schemed to escape the Dark World. Oddly, he didn’t actually himself appear in
Ganon’s Tower; instead, there was a second battle with Ganon assuming Agahnim
form. Defeated, Ganon transformed into a bat, crashed through the roof of the
Pyramid of Power, and showed his true form, which was basically an enhanced
version of his original appearance. He added a few new attacks to his
repertoire this time around, including collapsing parts of the floor, sending
off volleys of Fire Keese and, notably, throwing around a trident. That
trident also appeared when the Nightmares mimicked Ganon at the end of Link’s
Awakening.
In the prequel adventure Ocarina of Time, he is actually seen several times.
Link glimpses him in his dream from the opening cinema, from the Hyrule
Castle courtyard when the Gerudo monarch sweet-talks Zelda’s daddy, when the
dream plays itself out and he conquers Hyrule Castle Town, and in the final
battle. Ganon devises another brilliant scheme, as he desires the four keys
that will unlock the Door of Time which leads to the Triforce. Gathering them
by force proves to be impossible, but he leads Link on and allows him to
gather them for him. When Link opens the Door, Ganondorf jumps in and lays
hands on the Triforce. The Triforce, being an inanimate object, does not know
good from evil and only grants his wish of taking over Hyrule. There is just
enough resistance to stop him there for the time being, and Link spends the
rest of the game gaining enough power to fight back. Most other games depict
him as a power-hungry villain, but this time he’s shown to be a genius
scholar who simply took it too far. Nice humanization.
Interestingly, his main attack in this incarnation was similar to Agahnim’s:
He threw magical orbs which had to be deflected to shock him, at which point
he could be stunned with Light Arrows and finally damaged with the Master
Sword. When this form was over, there was a brief escape sequence, after
which he used the Triforce of Power to transform into the monstrous Ganon.
His tail was his only weak point, but he could be stunned by shooting him in
the head with Light Arrows. Link temporarily lost the Master Sword after
taking a particularly heavy hit, the only weapon that could do anything more
than superficial damage to Ganon, but Zelda retrieved it and was able to
return it to him halfway through the fight. When defeated, he reverted to
Ganondorf form and promised vengeance. He looked pissed, too. Oh, and
‘Phantom Ganon’ was the boss of the Forest Temple, which involved him flying
out of portraits on horseback and the same game of tennis Link played with
Agahnim.
He also appeared in the Oracle saga, but I doubt very many people reached
him. To fight him, one had to beat either game, beat a password-linked game,
and defeat the ensuing Twinrova battle. No mean feat. Here, Ganon revealed
that he was orchestrating the actions of Onox and Veran from behind the
scenes. Defeating him was the same old song (but it’s a different
meaning...), except that he was now able to transport players to a strange
blue room in which the controls were reversed. He was quite thick-skinned
here, too, as only the Master Sword or Biggoron’s Sword even scratched him
unless he was dealt a Spin Attack.
His next incarnation, in The Wind Waker, is my favourite. He is shown three
times. Once, his face isn’t even shown, once, he tries to attack the good
guys from the top of Forsaken Fortress but is ambushed, and then he gets a
long cutscene before Link fights him. Here, it seems he has mellowed over the
hundreds of years since his Ocarina defeat, and he is portrayed in a much
more sympathetic light. He’s grown a wicked beard, and he’s quite a
philosophical fellow. When he extracts Link’s and Zelda’s pieces of the
Triforce, he is very careful not to hurt them, whereas before he would
probably have just killed them.
He is also the coolest final boss in any video game, ever. Link and Zelda
tag-team as he attacks with dual swords. First, Link must parry Ganondorf’s
attacks, rolling behind him to slash at his back. Zelda jumps in at the same
time Ganondorf figures out how to block the parry attacks, and she takes up
Link’s Hero’s Bow and fires Light Arrows at Ganondorf, damaging him. After a
bit, Ganondorf gets annoyed and knocks her out, and Link is on his own until
she wakes. When she does, well, being a genius, Ganondorf’s been working on
how he’ll block her Light Arrows even as he fought. Zelda is no idiot either
though, and formulates a desperate gambit and starts to fire AT LINK! Link
uses the Mirror Shield to deflect her shots at Ganondorf, finishing him off.
Hasta la vista. (I don’t even know what that means.)
This game poses a few interesting things to look at. For one thing, Forsaken
Fortress is clearly Gerudo Fortress taken over by Moblins, so it’s fitting
that Ganondorf would return to his old base of operations and retrofit it
with new-age contrivances. Next, the Three Goddesses first allowed him to be
sealed inside the Golden Land. This didn’t work, so when the seal weakened
they flooded Hyrule in torrential rains to keep him locked in. Somehow, he
still escaped! Think about this - they drowned an entire country just to
contain him and he STILL couldn’t be stopped! How badass is that!? Lastly, in
the ending cutscene, Link stabs him in the head and loses the Master Sword in
the process as Ganondorf’s body turns to stone. And yet he appears in later
games. Dude.
The Wind Waker also had a Puppet Ganon as one of three bosses leading up to
Ganondorf himself. This one required Link to sever its marionette strings
with the Boomerang and then attack its weak tail. It was a more interesting
fight than it sounds.
His inclusion in Four Swords Adventures is a little cheap, in my opinion. He
shows up in the end with almost zero foreshadowing, in the Palace of Winds no
less, a place where he shouldn’t even be. The only thing noteworthy about
that battle is the Four Swords twist on it, and the fact that Zelda is mildly
involved in it. It’s pathetically easy, too. Furthermore, I’m not entirely
comfortable with the retcons this game introduces. It states that Ganondorf
was born and raised in a town of the Zuna in the Desert of Doubt. The who in
the where? Yeah. The Desert of Doubt includes a colossal Pyramid that
originally housed a giant trident, until Ganon pilfered it and made it his
signature weapon. So there’s your new origin story. I’m not even sure whether
or not to trust it, considering the game was made by Capcom.
I’m not actually sure he was originally intended to be in Twilight Princess,
but if not he was integrated very well, so I’m glad he did. It’s a little
confusing, though. We see four nameless Sages ready to execute Ganondorf, who
has a crazy new hairstyle, in front of the Mirror of Twilight at the
Arbiter’s Grounds prison. He is wounded badly, but using the Triforce of
Power he escapes his bonds, kills one of the Sages and escapes. This is cool,
but when exactly did it take place? Oh well. He goes into hiding for a while
and starts to feed off the Twili’s hatred for the Hylians, regaining strength
from this. Eventually he manipulates their self-proclaimed king into helping
him achieve his goals.
And I raved about Waker’s final boss battle. Well, Twilight’s is pretty cool
too, so it deserves a close look. It begins with Ganondorf possessing Zelda’s
currently soulless body and attacking Link with it. This is quite cool
because he uses the sword we’ve seen Zelda holding in all the concept art. We
play the usual hit-the-ball-of-energy-back-at-Ganondorf thing, and he fights
back with sword lunges and magical assaults, and then he transforms into
Ganon. Our customary pig form, that is. This is a unique version in that he’s
on all fours and doesn’t carry a weapon. After stunning him with an arrow and
attacking the place where the Sages wounded him (his weak spot), Link takes
on his wolf form and uses Midna’s giant orange hand to wrestle him into
submission, then attack with his fangs. Looks like the mighty beast has
fallen for good, but this is Ganondorf we’re talking about. We’re transported
outside and Ganondorf takes to horse as Link and Zelda fight him from Epona.
Zelda fires Light Arrows to stun him and Link rides up and delivers a follow-
up slash. After a few rounds of this, Ganondorf draws the sword that wounded
him so long ago – it’s made of pure light - and he and Link go toe-to-toe in
a no-holds-barred sword battle. He’s almost as skilled here as in Waker, but
has more of an emphasis on raw physical power over Waker incarnation’s
finesse. Eventually, Link drives the Master Sword into his vulnerable wound,
ending this epic four-stage struggle.
He’s also a playable character in Super Smash Bros Melee and Brawl, but
there’s not much to say about that. He’s one of the clone characters, meaning
he shares most of the moves of another character (in this case, Captain
Falcon) but has some different traits. He’s pretty heavy and slow, but
powerful. Last I checked, he was Mid-Tier in Melee, and very nearly the
absolute worst-rated character in Brawl.
=============================================================================
G e n e r a l O n o x
Bombad general
Race: Uh...Iron Knuckle?
Appearances: Oracle of Seasons
Strangely, even though he is the ultimate boss your first time through Oracle
of Seasons, he really only plays a bit part. On the other hand, he does set a
great game in motion. Although Ganon, a supremely powerful magician, sets his
sights on Hyrule, Onox’s goals are not so lofty. Instead, he’s willing to
start with the smaller and relatively inconsequential Holodrum. Of course, we
later learn that Ganon is manipulating him from behind the scenes to further
his own ends.
Onox starts by capturing Din, the Oracle of Seasons, and setting her in a
giant crystal (much like Ganondorf did to Zelda in Ocarina of Time.) He then
sinks the Temple of Seasons into Subrosia, the subterranean land beneath
Holodrum, and disables its four towers. Without either of those two forces to
govern them, Holodrum’s seasons spin wildly out of control, threatening to
rip the realm apart.
Luckily, Link recovers the Rod of Seasons and retrieves eight elements of
Gaia, then faces Onox head-on. To begin, Onox is covered in a heavy suit of
armour, greatly resembling an Iron Knuckle. He swings around a giant ball and
chain, much like a Ball and Chain Soldier. After being damaged a little, he
has Din’s crystal rotate around him as yet another layer of armour, but Link
bats it out of the way with the Rod of Seasons. Finally, he transforms into
an immense Chinese-ish dragon that spits fireballs and slaps Link around.
Link must jump onto his hands and then glide over to his head to hit the
jewel there with his sword. After a few hits to this jewel, Onox goes away
for good.
=============================================================================
G e n t a r i
All-knowing elder
Race: Minish
Appearances: The Minish Cap
Gentari is the elder of Minish Village and by extension the effective leader
of all Minish in Hyrule. After Link masters the Minish language by scarfing
down the Jabber Nut, he, Gentari and Ezlo have a nice conversation about the
impending destruction of everything they know and love, as well as possible
countermeasures. Combining their respective knowledge of ancient lore,
Gentari and Ezlo determine that the best course of action is to obtain the
four elements, of whose locations Gentari is luckily well aware and able to
pass onto the heroes. The first happens to be out back behind his house. The
others are not quite so easily obtained. Moustachioed, Gentari wears the red
hat of the Forest Minish but dons the tan robes of an elder rather than the
forest green jerkin of his comrades. He has a brother living in the Hyrule
Town Library, Librari.
=============================================================================
G o l d e n C h i e f C y l o s
Frogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Race: Lesser Deity
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
Cylos is a giant, moustachioed, golden frog who resides on the Uncharted
Island in the fourth quadrant of the Ocean King’s waters. To access his cave,
Link must first map out the island, walking around its entire perimeter and
sketching its general shape down onto his Sea Chart (using the DS’s touch
screen), along with a few other features of interest. Following this, the
Uncharted Island reveals itself to be in the shape of a whale, after which
the cryptic clues offered make a lot more sense and Link is able to determine
the correct order in which to hit the island’s four switches. Upon dong so,
the mysterious cave at the centre of the island opens up and Link enters, and
promptly finds himself greeted by Golden Chief Cylos.
As a fellow light-aligned deity, Cylos is good friends with the Ocean King
and wants to see him do well. To that end, he offers Link the only real
assistance he has to offer, the Cyclone Slate. Much like the operations of
the similarly named Zephos and Cyclos from The Wind Waker (who were also
lesser deities who took the form of giant frogs), this little piece of
gnarliness allows Link to instaneously warp across the map from anywhere at
any time, provided certain conditions have been met. In Hourglass, this means
encountering one of the Six Golden Frogs spread unevenly across the oceanic
quadrants, shooting it with the cannon in order to get its attention and
befriend it, and learning its particular symbol. Once he has it down, he can
call up the slate at any time when aboard the S.S. Linebeck, scratch out a
quick pattern, and be lifted into the skies on the wings of a whirlwind, only
to come down seconds later at his chosen warp point. Like in Waker, these
hotspots aren’t always located as conveniently as they could be, but, given
the alternative, none of us is about to complain.
Cylos has an outie belly button.
=============================================================================
G o n g o r o n
Prissy annoying little kid
Race: Goron
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
Complaints about his snivelling personality aside, I actually really like
Gongoron. First of all, he has a strange name, and that has to count for
something. But more than that, he’s one of only six playable characters in
the entire Zelda franchise, which is pretty cool in and of itself - the
others being Kafei, Medli, Makar, Tingle, and Link himself, and you could
even argue that Medli and Makar don’t even count cause they were maybe just
being possessed by Link. Or if you wanted to go the other way, you could even
say that Ricki, Moosh, and Dimitri count, and so do Deku Scrub (...), Darmani
and Mikau, but then you’d be being weird. However you look at it, Gongoron
has amazing cachet as a playable character on par with Kafei, and we maintain
control of him for some of the longest lengths of time (third only to Link
and Tingle), so there.
So now we have that out of the way. Gongoron is the son of Biggoron, leader
of Goron Island. Yes, Goron Island. Once Link is finished running around the
village memorizing useless facts about its features and populace, he passes
Biggoron’s knowledge test and is initiated as an honourary member of the
tribe, access to the Goron Temple comes as part of the package. Biggoron,
however, is concerned about Link’s ability to deal with the temple’s traps
and layout on his own, so he commands Gongoron to accompany him. It’s a
little backwards. He should be worrying about Gongoron way ahead of Link.
Upon our introduction to this poor-tempered, worrying crybaby, he immediately
makes clear his disdain for Link and then runs off to the temple without him.
This is going great so far. So, Link must make his way to the temple solo,
which he accomplishes with a modicum of difficulty, and enters only to find
that Gongoron has run off inside and almost immediately found himself
surrounded by Dodongos, with no means of escape. All right, it happens. So,
as Link we must come to his rescue – only to find that Gongoron is going to
help us accomplish it.
We take control of the little guy and find that in some ways, he actually
controls more smoothly than Link. Like all Gorons, Gongoron curls into a ball
when he feels the need for speed, and after walking around for a few moments
he gets his momentum up and does this automatically; after a bit he’s
practically invinicible if you can keep him moving. But he’s not limited to
this unwieldy attack. He has a sort of homing attack activated by simply
tapping his enemies. Utilising these skills, Gongoron is able to defeat the
creatures and reunite with Link, at which point he becomes slightly more
accepting of the task he’s been assigned and becomes progressively more
helpful as the dungeon-busting tandem attack wears on.
Eventually, after advancing past a number of puzzles (quite a few of them a
step up from the standard ‘instruct helper character to stand on one switch
while Link runs over to the other switch,’ although there’s some of that
too), the pair enters the boss chamber, ready to take on the monster within.
All of Phantom Hourglass’s bosses are inspired and creative, but this one has
to be top three (after Bellum and Eox). It opens normally, but as the pair
comes under attack they quickly become separated, Link at the door, Gongoron
across a stretch of lava and pinned in with the boss.
From here the object is to direct Bombchu across the floe and into the giant
Dodongo’s mouth, as the species’ weakness to explosives has been well-
documented since the original game. In order to stun the beast and allow Link
an open shot, Gongoron must bait it into a charge and then attack its
vulnerable sides while it collects itself. After three successful Bombchu
strikes, a bridge forms allowing Link to cross and continue on when the
behemoth stands once more. The fun part of the fight, though, is keeping the
two alive; while knocking Gongoron around up top, he sends a legion of little
guys to go after Link, requiring a constant juggling act to maintain both
characters’ health bars as you manically switch back and forth, attacking
with one character only to snap back to the other just in time to sidestep a
potentially fatal assault. This becomes slightly easier when the two are
nearer to each other, at which point Link functions more or less without
Gongoron’s help, though you can try to be clever and still use one to keep
attention off the other if you get cornered or something. Eventually, Link
and Gongoron down their foe and recover the temple’s Pure Metal.
Later on, he can be found working at tourist attraction Dee Ess Island with a
few other Gorons. Post-Ice Temple, it turns out it’s the mighty Goron Races!
...Nostalgia... ...unchanged from Majora’s Mask... Except not as much fun,
since it’s just time trials, but stylus controls might not have been able to
handle the jostling anyway. You take control of Gongoron himself in his bid
to take home the pennant.
=============================================================================
G o o d B e e
Sweet little bumblebee
Race: Bee
Appearances: A Link to the Past
Honestly speaking, the Good Bee is in no way a character, but she’s just so
cool I can’t help but give her a quick blurb. You can find her by dashing
into the fountain in the cave where you find the Ice Rod, after which you can
snag her with your Bug-Catching Net and store her in a Bottle. (It’s also
possible to kill her with your sword, or kill yourself by walking into her
repeatedly.) At this point, you can sell her in the Kakariko Village market,
but why would you want to? Instead, you can unleash her on the forces of
evil! Protect the hive from enemies! The Good Bee’s attack is noticeably
stronger than that of regular Bees, and unlike regular Bees, after she’s
finished working on all the enemies in an area, she’ll return to Link so as
to flit back into her Bottle! She wants to be with you until the end; she
gives her heart and her soul to you to make you see it through. The first
time I read about that, I thought it was the coolest thing I’d ever heard.
=============================================================================
G o r o n E l d e r
Geriatrock
Race: Goron
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
Oracle of Ages
Twilight Princess
Spirit Tracks
When Link climbs to Snowhead Mountain, he finds that Skull Kid has frozen it
over. The snowbound Gorons are unable to search for food, but the Goron Elder
bravely crawls into the blizzard and tries to find some healthful rock
sirloin. He’s unsuccessful, and moreover, his son pines for his father and
cries constantly. When the Elder finds out, he tries to teach Link the
Goron’s Lullaby, but it’s so cold he forgets half of it. His son teaches Link
the rest and promptly falls asleep, much to the relief of his roomies.
The Elder is notable for a couple of reasons, mainly that he teaches us a few
things about Goron biology. He’s a hunchback: A huge mound of rock has
doubled his height. It weighs heavily on him, and he sometimes walks on all
fours due to the burden. He also has huge lips, and he’s one of a handful of
Gorons to sport visible hair. Secondly, he carries a pair of Goron Bongos,
one of only two Gorons seen to do so (though it’s possible that they’re a
very common item, just rarely used.)
He’s a little zestier in Oracle of Ages, with a beard resembling Darunia’s
and a lot of muscles. Not enough muscles, unfortunately, to break through a
cave-in that has cut him off from the rest of the tribe. Link travels to the
past, defeats the Great Moblin, and wins a Bomb Flower for his troubles.
(Strangely, unlike those in the 3D games it does not explode immediately
after picking.) He hands it off to the foreman who explodes it and frees the
Goron Elder, who is able to help Link enter the Crown Dungeon.
Twilight Princess’s Gorons are presided over by Darbus, their leader, who
utilises the four Elders as his agents to help him get things done. When the
five entered the Goron Mines to try and destroy the evil that was seeping out
of them, Darbus was overpowered and the Elders were forced to flee, sealing
him in with the Fused Shadow and being forced to abandon him there. Link
eventually confronts the Elders, respectively called Gor Coron, Gor Amoto,
Gor Ebizo, and Gor Liggs. By tracking them all down, he assembles what passes
for the dungeon’s Boss Key, then proceeds to defeat the transformed Darbus
and liberate him from evil’s clutches. Gor Coron is quite skilled at sumo
wrestling (didn’t see that one coming), and just generally seems to look and
act very Japanese. Gor Liggs is covered in purplish body paint, or maybe even
IS purple. The other two are just old. After Link completes the Goron Mines,
Gor Liggs and Gor Ebizo take to hanging out at the Kakariko Village Malo
Mart, and later play a part in opening the Castle Town branch.
As Goron Elders have done since time immemorial, the Goron Elder of Spirit
Tracks sees to the administration of Goron Village, the main settlement found
in the Fire Realm. He is cut off from most of the rest of the place’s
inhabitants by a sudden eruption, and Link is only able to meet with him
until he brings a half-load of Mega Ice to cool it. Though nominally
suspicious of the outsider that is Link, the Elder changes his tune when his
grandson rushes in and tells him it was Link who saved the village, and he
shows him how to access the Fire Sanctuary (since the secret is passed down
from Elder to future Elder.) Later on, the grandson leaves to experience city
life, but the Elder knows he’ll be back, because, he says, all Gorons
eventually realise that Goron Village is paradise. This probably has less to
do with the conditions of the place itself and more to do with the kinship of
being among one’s fellow Gorons.
=============================================================================
G o s s a c k
Anti-Bolshevik militant monarchist
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Like many explorers of the bounding main, Gossack can often be found at the
Windfall Island Cafe when he puts into port for a little R&R. Cowardly and a
little ugly, Gossack ‘jumps at even the slightest of surprises.’ Lenzo,
claiming he wishes to help Gossack overcome his fear through exposure
therapy, has Link take a pictograph of the poor soul in abject terror, which
isn’t hard to do; simply rolling into the wall near him will startle him into
outright shivers of fright. Snapping a quick pic will put Link one step
closer to the Deluxe Picto Box.
I also seem to remember intimations of him having a crush on Gillian or some
such thing.
=============================================================================
G r e a t D e k u T r e e
Tree of the Ancients
Race: Deku
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
The Wind Waker
The Great Deku Tree is known as the guardian of the Kokiri. Even as the other
six races warred among themselves, the Deku Tree shrouded them in the forest.
It is supposedly its (his?) power that keeps them from ever aging past ten.
It also guards the Kokiri’s Emerald, the Spiritual Stone of Forest. Ganondorf
tried to steal it from him but was unable to take it by force. Instead, he
sent Queen Gohma, a giant armoured arachnid, to invade the tree, set herself
in its roots and kill it from within. She spawns many foul beasts and starts
to poison the tree. At the tree’s behest, Link arms himself, enters the root
structure and slays Queen Gohma, but it’s too late. The Great Deku Tree
realises that his suspicion was correct: Link is destined to save Hyrule. He
gives him the Spiritual Stone to help him on his quest, then dies.
As his last act, however, he plants a seed. This new Deku Tree grows just in
front of the previous one, and takes seven years to sprout; it does so just
as Link defeats Phantom Ganon in the Forest Temple. It then gives Link a
brief explanation of what has happened in his absence and further
instructions.
This same tree reappears hundreds of years later in The Wind Waker, and he
looks much different than his father. The original looked like...like Merlin.
This one looks like Bob the plumber. His face is way closer to the ground,
and he’s grown more upward rather than outward – possibly because of limited
horizontal space, due to him being inside a larger tree. That tree is quite
possibly the first Deku Tree, though that would have required
transplantation.
The new Deku Tree guards the Forest Haven, which is a combination of the
Kokiri Forest, Lost Woods and Great Deku Tree areas from Ocarina of Time,
split up into four tiny islands. The new tree protects the Koroks as its
predecessors protected the Kokiri. Despite its appearance, it is quite as
wise as the original (well, almost.) The Great Deku Tree is one of the few
creatures old enough to remember how to speak Ancient Hylian; when he sees
Link in his heroic outfit, he is reminded of the Hero of Time and spits out a
few text boxes of Hylian script before apologetically switching to Link’s
language.
The Great Deku Tree serves to help Link keep up with Makar, an important part
of the story. He also figures into a side-quest: Worried that the forests are
dwindling, he sends eight Koroks out to some small islands to plant trees
that will eventually give birth (so to speak) to new woods, but they aren’t
doing so well. Link must quickly transport mystical water from Forest Haven
to each of the trees, allowing them to begin to grow.
=============================================================================
G r e a t F a i r i e s
Demented sprites
Race: Fairies
Appearances: The Legend of Zelda
A Link to the Past
Link’s Awakening
Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
Oracle of Seasons
Oracle of Ages
Four Swords
The Wind Waker
Four Swords Adventures
The Minish Cap
Twilight Princess
Phantom Hourglass
In other words, all games but the second.
Even though not one of them technically has a name, they serve a great enough
role in Link’s quests that I saw fit to briefly detail them here.
Okay, rapid-fire. In the NES and Gameboy games, a Great Fairy would
completely restore Link’s health. In A Link to the Past, Link would throw
various items into specific Fairy Fountains to have them upgraded. Ocarina of
Time’s Great Fairies offered upgrades and magical attacks. In Majora’s Mask,
collecting all 20 Stray Fairies in a dungeon would allow them to reform and
give him a special upgrade, one of which was a very special sword. The N64
ones are famous for screaming insanely when they appeared. In Four Swords,
they offered keys that allowed the party’s quest to move forward. In The Wind
Waker, they mainly offered capacity upgrades (Rupees, Bombs etc.) and also
offered special items like the Fire and Ice Arrows. In Four Swords
Adventures, they sometimes had to be rescued and escorted, and each of the
maidens had the ability to transform into a fairy, including Zelda. In The
Minish Cap they once again offered capacity upgrades. In Twilight Princess
they were found in the Cave of Ordeals, and if Link completed the entire
thing he could visit their springs to fill a Bottle with Great Fairy Tears,
which was essentially Grandma’s Homemade Soup with only one serving. Lastly,
in Phantom Hourglass they provided Link with certain abilities depending on
the number of Power, Wisdom or Courage Gems he had collected.
Whew.
=============================================================================
G r o g
Get mediaevel
Race: Hylian, for a while
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
With a name like Grog, you’d think he’d be right at home sailing the bounding
main with Tetra’s pirates, but on the contrary, he spends most of his time
moping in the Lost Woods. A parody that any individual dark or misanthropist
in nature would find insulting, Grog claims that ‘everyone’s disgusting’ and
cuts himself off from society. He has a similar attitude in the sequel, when
he proves himself not particularly affected by the impending end of the
world, regretting only that he could not see his precious baby Cuccos become
full-grown cluckers (Link solves this by ordering a march that causes the
Cuccos’ rapid maturation, earning himself the Bunny Hood.) Later on in
Ocarina, he moves to the Woods and becomes a Skull Kid, despite his sister’s
best efforts to save him. That sister, if I recall correctly, is the Cucco
Lady, and I think his mother is Grandma from Grandma’s Potion Shop. His
father is Mutoh, the foreman who’s always yelling at the other carpenters (I
know that last one for sure; his father is definitely Mutoh.)
=============================================================================
G u r u - G u r u
Copy Gramophonian
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
Oracle of Seasons
In Ocarina of Time, Guru-Guru - whose name may not have been Guru-Guru at the
time, and whom most referred to on some variation of ‘crazy windmill guy’ -
was a crazy guy who owned the windmill of Kakariko Village. His name is most
likely derived from the handheld gramophone from which he is never seen
apart; ‘kuru-kuru’ is the Japanese onomatopoeia for something spinning, as in
‘Nyaasu no paati, kuru-kuru, mawaru!’ (Meowth’s party, round and round,
revolve.’) Gangly, bald, and bearded, he is almost always seen with an
expression of pure, deep-seated happiness, and this is how Link finds him
when he visits the windmill as a child; there he is, just blissing out in his
humble home and laying down phat beats...no, wait, that’s a different kind of
spin-related music-making. But like the Happy Mask Salesman and Scarfies, he
also has a dark side. When we reunite with him seven years down the line he
adopts an utterly fearful countenance and starts screaming at us. He starts
to work his gramophone faster and faster as the unforgettably significant
Song of Storms starts to grind out. Link, he shrieks, is the one responsible
for the sudden and catastrophic draining of the village well, without whose
waters Kakariko can barely subsist, and it’s all because of Link, the Ocarina
of Time, and the most accursed Song of Storms!
So to recap, Ganondorf was responsible for the sacking of Hyrule Castle,
Ganondorf was responsible for Death Mountain’s optically threatening corona,
Ganondorf was responsible for Zora’s Domain freezing over, Link was
responsible for the well draining, and all of this happened around the same
time. Nice logic? Actually, as learn when we investigate further, it turns
out it WAS Link who destroyed Kakariko - what a dick! In a case of what can
be called retroactive history or self-fulfilling prophecy, upon hearing this
Link then takes us back to the past to enact (re-enact?) the crime for which
he has been accused. Upon standing in the middle of town and playing the Song
of Storms (which Guru-Guru hears and remembers, teaching it to Link seven
years later, who then goes back in time to teach it to Guru-Guru) he finds
that the windmill, in much the same way as the gramophone that we have
discussed above, begins to spin faster and faster, drawing all available
water until there’s nothing left. Torrential downpours now DRAIN wells,
didn’t you know? The advantage here is that this leaves Link free to explore
the Bottom of the Well and acquire the quest-critical Lens of Truth, but
obliterating the welfare of an entire village is sort of harsh.
In his second appearance (which is where we get the name from), Guru-Guru is
no longer mad at us, but still a little bit of a creep. He hangs out by the
laundry pool, cranking out one of my favourite tunes in any Zelda, and that’s
saying something. But man, come to think of it - Guru-Guru, the Stray Fairy,
Kafei, the Curiosity Shop Owner (presumably), the Postman, and Link himself;
the laundry pool sure does see a lot of traffic for one small alcove, doesn’t
it? Anyway, in this universe Guru-Guru formerly put his musical skills to use
as part of a group of travelling entertainers, but he soon left out of
jealousy for the troupe’s leader, because he just couldn’t reconcile with
taking orders from a dog. He lifted the mutt’s Bremen Mask on his way out the
door, stealing masks being in vogue in Termina, only to find that rather than
slaking his spite, the act left him consumed by guilt. When Link comes along,
he realises he’s found the perfect solution: He’ll bequeath the item to him!
That definitely makes it ok! Well, it works out at least, with Link gaining a
useful new tool and Guru-Guru somehow now able to live with himself where he
couldn’t before.
With the Oracle Saga taking gameplay elements from the GameBoy and setpieces
from the N64, Guru-Guru played a minor role in Seasons as well, tending the
Windmill that sits on top of the hill in the Eastern Suburbs of Horon
Village. In stark opposition to previous events, here Guru-Guru WANTS the
contraption to gyrate as fast as possible, and even enlists that good-for-
nothing Link for a little help. If Link can provide him with some Engine
Greae to loosen up the joints and gears (what sort of Engine it was
originally intended for never being explained), Guru-Guru will give up his
iconic Gramophone. I guess you never really know someone. The Windmill will
begin to spin at exciting highspeed star, and Link can then take the
Gramophone to Holodrum’s Lost Woods, root out a lone music-loving Deku Scrub
in an obscure cave, and receive a copy of Broken Sword: Shadow of the
Templars. No, wait, he receives a Broken Sword, which he can then have
repaired to the L-2 Noble Sword, twice as powerful as the one he had before,
so sweet deal.
=============================================================================
G u s t a f, R o y a l S p i r i t
Dead and kicking
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Minish Cap
Gustaf reigned as King of Hyrule hundreds of years ago, but of course, he
died. He still wishes to maintain peace in his kingdom even from beyond the
grave, however, so he still does what he can to ensure its future. Link first
meets him after claiming the Water Element, then goes to meet him in the
Royal Crypt. Much like similar tombs, his was so complex it’s its own mini-
dungeon. In life, he was very fond of the people of the Wind Tribe. The
Kinstone piece he gives Link allows him to enter Veil Falls and,
consequently, the Palace of Winds.
=============================================================================
H a n c h
Mulleted coward
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
What the hell kind of name is Hanch?
An inhabitant of Ordon Village, Hanch first strides onto the scene, as it
were, by throwing small rocks at a beehive in an effort to get its larvae to
use as fishing bait. (This caused a lot of confusion in Spirit Tracks, where
Bee Larvae also appear, as do beehives, but the two are unrelated; the items
are found randomly in pots and the like, and knocking down one of the game’s
aggravatingly plentiful beehives will win you nothing but pain. You can’t
even catch ‘em.) There are two ways to grab this bad boy for him: You can
either bean it with the Slingshot, which you won’t get until later, or
assault it with a hawk, which you can do immediately. The former will turn a
stinging reprisal on yourself, but the latter will see the sortie directed
against Hanch. Mistaken blame and all; it’s like a sitcom. Hanch will flee
into the water to get them off his tail, which doesn’t work in real life by
the way. Bees will actually watch you move beneath the surface and follow,
and resume their attack when you reemerge. Try it if you don’t believe me. Go
ahead.
Shortly thereafter, we learn that he is Sera’s husband and Beth’s father, and
following that, he proves himself to be one of the most snivelling and
dislikeable characters ever seen in a Zelda game, brimming with malcontent
and in dire need of an attitude adjustment. He makes up for it later, when Bo
assigns him to security detail. Hanch takes up a position on the earthy-
stoney pillar between Sera’s Sundries and Rusl’s house, from which vantage he
shoots the village hawk at trespassers; guess those things are common
property and whoever makes use of them gets to have them, thanks Locke. Maybe
Hanch learned the technique from Link’s beehive-bashing. Anyhow, during the
period in which Link is forced to briefly return to the settlement in wolf
form, he’ll feel Hanch’s full wrath if he gets too close, with the latter
understandably believing him to be a monster. It’s actually kind of neat, I
mean that attack took me totally off-guard. And it all contrasts very nicely
with his unceasing cries of terror that carry on throughout the process. I
just avoided him after being attacked once, but apparently you can sneak up
behind him and startle him into the water, which, I have to admit, sounds
hilarious.
Hanch appears in the ending credits for roughly three quarters of a
microsecond, happy to return to a life without fear.
=============================================================================
H a p p y M a s k S a l e s m a n
Amazingly accurate timekeeper
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
Oracle of Ages
Going only by the titular moniker of the Happy Mask Salesman, we have here
one of the weirder residents of the Zelda universe. From an early age, he was
fascinated with masks, especially those with magical properties. His
collection grew to be quite extensive, and he opened up a small shop from
which he sold his wares.
He was having trouble getting business, so he recruited Link as a trader.
Link borrowed masks for his own personal use and, when he encountered
individuals interested in buying, he sold them off on behalf of the shop,
keeping a modest finder’s fee. He sold several masks like this, all of which
reappeared in the next instalment of the series. These actions also fed
Link’s altruistic nature as they helped out their recipients with their
personal lives. The ultimate reward for this mini trading game was the Mask
of Truth, which had about three uses (two of which were pretty trivial.)
He got an interesting makeover for Majora’s Mask, where he spent the entire
game waiting in the Clock Tower for Link to bring him Majora’s Mask, which
Skull Kid had stolen from him. His poly was fundamentally the same, but he
added a giant pedlar’s backpack festooned with odds, ends, cooking pans, and
masks. I expect most of you know this by now, but if you look closely you can
see a Mario mask pinned near his head. Close to it is an Elvis Presley one.
There’s also one that some say is a Darth Maul mask, but if that was the
intent, it’s a far cry from the original. The rest are random generica,
though one looks like it could easily have become the Stone Mask.
The Happy Mask Salesman is best known for his bizarre (I won’t say psychotic,
because he clearly does not have psychosis per se) behaviour. He stands alone
in dank locations. He is obsessed with masks (identity confusion?) and
develops dangerous emotional attachments to some of them. He also slingshots
between emotions more quickly than a Vibe Island denizen, screaming at Link
one moment then smiling pleasantly the next. Also, he rarely opens his eyes.
He also has a shop in Lynna City, where he figures into Oracle of Ages’
Trading Game and then serves no further purpose.
=============================================================================
H e l m a r o c K i n g
Winged monstrosity
Race: Helmaroc
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Four Swords Adventures
In Arabian mythology, rocs are enormous birds who live on mountaintops. As I
recall, Sinbad the Sailor encountered one and stole an egg from its nest. I’m
not sure what happened after that, but I don’t think it ended well for him.
This was how the Roc’s Feather dungeon item came into being, but the Kargaroc
enemies first appeared in The Wind Waker. Though they could be somewhat
irritating to take out, they dropped golden feathers that were eventually
traded for a Heart Piece. Like the Helmasaurs, the Kargarocs have a
figurehead who is much larger and more powerful than themselves. (Helmasaur
King doesn’t get a bio because he’s a plain boss without any character.)
When Ganondorf emerges from the Golden Land and sets up shop atop the
Forsaken Fortress, he employs the Helmaroc King to do his bidding. Mainly, he
tasks it with locating and capturing Princess Zelda. He knows she’s out there
somewhere, even if she doesn’t. The Helmaroc King captures several girls who
*might* be Zelda, but as it turns out, none of them are. It eventually finds
Tetra, who really is Zelda, as captain of a merry band of pirates. The scurvy
knaves fight it off and are taken, in the course of the battle, to Outset
Island, where Link sees trouble and comes to Tetra’s rescue. The Helmaroc
King swoops in once again and hauls off Aryll by accident, setting TWW in
motion.
They track the Helmaroc King back to Forsaken Fortress, but are thwarted
there. The Helmaroc King hurls Link into the ocean and leaves him for dead,
after which point he doesn’t do anything for quite some time. He and Link
finally square off near the top of the Fortress, where he mostly swoops at
Link and tries to crush him. When he pecks, he gets his face stuck in the
stone, at which point he is vulnerable to strikes from the Skull Hammer.
He is also the boss of Death Mountain Trail in Four Swords Adventures.
=============================================================================
H e n a
Master fisherman
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
When Ocarina of Time was being developed, one of the lead programmers, Morita
Kazuaki, had a sort of ‘secret project’ – a fishing mini-game, the one we
found at Lake Hylia. This was a pretty cool place, so it made it into the
game! It was so popular, in fact, that Morita was assigned to create Hena’s
Fishing Hole for Twilight Princess, which I actually like less, but whatever;
lure fishing from a canoe is neat. Anyway, Hena runs the inexpensive fishing
hole, which can be quite an interesting diversion, though a frustrating one
(I only ever caught one fish :( ).
She may be descended from Hyrule’s most famous fisherman, the bald guy who
ran Ocarina’s place (and the Curiosity Shop in Majora’s Mask.) I find it kind
of funny that the photo is in black-and-white, because the Deluxe Pictograph
hadn’t been invented yet. She also has a picture of herself with a lunker
(how vain of her). There’s also one of her sister Iza, who runs the nearby
boat rental place, and her brother Coro, who sucks at fishing but is pro at
making lamp oil.
Like the fisherman from Ocarina, Hena gets mad if Link uses the Sinking Lure,
because it’s unsporting. Unlike the fisherman from Ocarina, however, she will
let him use a different (but still inferior) lure called the Frog Lure if he
can beat eight courses on the Rollgoal game. The Frog Lure requires skilled
hands to use, and so does Rollgoal, so I guess that’s the connection there.
=============================================================================
H e r o ’ s S p i r i t
Lycanthropic swordmaster
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
This ancient vestige of Hyrule’s bygone golden age never introduces himself,
and there are few official resources to corroborate his name (except Nintendo
Power, a sometimes dubious source of information), but most people know him
as the Hero’s Spirit, so we’ll just call him that.
And what he does say about himself is allusory at best, but that just
enhances the mystical nature of the character. Ever since Majora’s Mask’s
Swordsman School, there have been a number of individuals willing to instruct
the player in the ways of Hyrulean combat. Hero’s Spirit, the latest
implementation, is uniquely qualified in that he was actually around in
ancient times, when many actually studied the Way of the Hylian Blade with
great dedication. From the way he talks, he has truly mastered the sword and
has surely seen a fair few battles before he was transformed.
In fact, chew on this: He actually refers to Link as his successor. He most
likely just meant that it was now Link’s responsibility to proliferate the
ancient sword arts, but in context, it almost sounds like Hero’s
Spirit...HERO’S Spirit...is actually Link from Ocarina! Pretty out there,
you’d think, but is it really?
Anyway, he teaches seven techniques over the course of the game – paltry
compared to the Blade Brothers, but he’s just one guy, plus every one of his
is cool and/or useful, which is more than they can say. They’re also
progressive, meaning they grow in strength and animation quality as you go
on, and sometimes require mastery of a previous technique to perform (most
commonly the Shield Attack.) My favourite technique is the Mortal Draw, where
Link stands still without L-Targeting, sword sheathed. Then, at the last
second, before the opponent sees through his ruse, in one smooth motion he
draws it and fells them in a single stroke. If you like, he also spins it
around all fancy-like when he sheathes it.
To learn a technique, Link must locate one of the Howl Stones scattered
across Hyrule. In wolf form, Link must then howl out a specific tune, many of
which are from Ocarina of Time. When he does this, he will be transported
to...‘another dimension,’ I guess, which looks a lot like Hyrule in its
heyday. He and the Hero’s Spirit, in the form of a glowing golden wolf, then
join together in a howling concerto. After that, a spot gets marked on his
map and Link must head over to that location, where he finds the wolf in the
flesh. The wolf then again transports them to another dimension, this one
very white with Hyrule Castle in the background. He assumes the form of a
skeletal, armoured soldier. After testing him on the previous technique, he
proceeds to drill Link on a new one. He tries to introduce them with as much
gravity as possible, but really, Link is in no danger >_<.
The final technique, the Great Spin Attack, is learned right outside the
castle barrier, so it may well be that Link learns it right before the final
showdown. When he has imparted all he knows, the Hero’s Spirit departs this
world with no more than a fierce hope that Link will prevail.
=============================================================================
H o H o T r i b e
There’s more of him?
Race: Hylians
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
I always kind of liked Old Man Ho Ho from The Wind Waker, travelling the seas
apparently, always showing up in unexpected places, looking out to the ocean
and explaining what he was looking at with an exclamation of wonder.
Naturally enough I always assumed he was just himself, but Phantom Hourglass
shows us that he’s actually part of a whole organization. Wearing identical
white coats, top hats, and monocles while sailing about in a tub-shaped boat
similar to those used by the Moblins of Waker, the Ho Ho Tribe spends their
days looking for random ‘things,’ for which they will happily part with
useful items if Link can slake their desires. They have a particular and
constant interest in the Regal Ring, which is an extremely rare find but
entails a massive reward. The chapter leader, Hoiger Howgendoogen, also
participates in the Trading Game by coughing up the Guard Notebook in
exchange for his lost Kaleidoscope. I question the practicality of a
_kaleidoscope_ in the Ho Ho Tribe’s line of work, but whatever makes you
happy.
=============================================================================
H o t R o d d e r G o r o n
Would-be bandana-bearer
Race: Goron
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
A Goron who spends literally all of his time rolling down Death Mountain
Trail at high speed, apparently because it’s the only way he can relax. Some
people calm down when they get an adrenaline rush, this is an actual thing.
The only way to get his attention is by attempting to murder him, either with
a Bomb Flower or a bona fide Bomb (neither of which you have access to the
first time you read his sign and/or encounter him.) If you actually carry out
his instructions in most places, he’ll tell you to take off, but if you
invade his home and attack him there, he’ll reward you with the Big Bomb Bag.
Perhaps you’ve noticed before that many video games don’t make any good
logical sense much of the time.
=============================================================================
H o n c h o
Cult of personality
Race: Anouki
Appearances: Spirit Tracks
Much like Mike Haggar, Honcho is really just a terrible mayor. Rather than
cause his city crippling economic problems resulting in gang warfare whose
only solution he determines to be punching an old man in the face, however,
Honcho’s failings are at least somewhat less incredible, ranging from being
unable to adequately secure its residents from monster attack to being unable
to persuade its residents to cooperate with each other. To both ends, he
enlists Link’s help, first to arrange each Anouki into a patrol cell of two,
with some Spirit Track additions as his reward; the catch is that half the
Anouki in Anouki Village Kai hate most of the others, meaning they’ll refuse
to work with each other. Link must therefore speak with each of them, put all
the pieces together and figure out an acceptable arrangement for him. (At
least Honcho himself is magnanimous enough to work with anybody.) This is
only a temporary measure, however, as later on, with Link’s transportation
provisions regarding body and supplies, Honcho will contract the Bridge
Worker to build a fence to keep out the wild beasts. He’s incompetent, but
well-intentioned and strangely likeable. I mean, he does his best. He also
bears a striking resemblance to his ostensible ancestor, the Anouki Chieftain
of Phantom Hourglass.
Even Honcho points out the fact that his name doubles as his occupation. I
guess I should be relieved that at least I’m not the only one who’s been
noticing this stuff going on.
=============================================================================
H o n e y a n d D a r l i n g
Bakappuru
Race: Hylians
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
I’m not sure if they ever addressed each other by pet-name in Ocarina of
Time, but if they did then I’m sure they were Honey and Darling just as in
its sequel. Here, they do nothing but embrace in an endless waltz and coo at
each other. Every once in a while they say something borderline noteworthy,
usually having to do with recent events, but it’s sort of hard to discern
through the deluge of mutual entrancement. At least, that’s how it is during
the day; after hours, they just want to spend some quiet time alone, making
their decision to hang out in a market square one of the worst ideas anyone
has ever had. After Hyrule Castle Town is overrun, they relocate to Kakariko
Village with the other survivors.
Their love-love lives on in Majora’s Mask, where they run Honey & Darling’s
Shop in East Clock Town. It’s not actually a shop but a minigame hut whose
offerings change daily; over the course of Link’s stay, they showcase Bombchu
Bowling (much the same as the Bombchu Bowling Alley from Ocarina), Target
Practise (with your Hero’s Bow and all, similar to a whole plethora of
things), and Bomb Basket (akin to lighting the eyes of the giant Dodongo
skull in Dodongo’s Cavern). Though all three games have a time limit, you can
momentarily stop the clock by shooting the couple (...). If Link succeeds at
all three games in a single 72-hour period, he wins a Heart Piece, which is
oddly fitting. Actually, their dialogue at the end of this ‘side-quest’
suggests that their may be trouble in paradise: ‘I wonder...are we truly
happy?’ Still, though, I like to think it all works out for them in the end
^_^.
Honey and Darling are named after a Japanese modern tradition where girls
will call their lovers ‘darling’ (dariin) and guys will come back with
‘honey’ (hanii), hamabe shakou dansu. From this, we know that the N64-hot
redhead is Honey, and the surrealist painting she goes with is Darling (this
type of pairing being another Japanese tradition of sorts.) Armed with this
knowledge you can figure out who’s speaking when when they talk, since lines
beginning with ‘Honey’ must be uttered by Darling and vice versa. At least,
it sort of works. It’s basically incoherent viewed from ANY angle.
=============================================================================
I g o s d u I k a n a
The king is dead
Race: Stalchild (Stalfos, maybe?)
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
Long ago, Ikana was a flourishing kingdom in the east of Termina. But trouble
soon came to the utopia as war broke out between the natives of Ikana and the
Garo ninja, both of whom lived in Ikana Canyon. A bloody power struggle
ensued. Apparently, neither side was ever able to actually win. Its history
has turned Ikana into a residence of death and sorrowful memories. The only
living beings Link encounters there are Pam, her father, Sakon, and the
modern Garo, whose clan is still intact. Everyone else is a troubled spirit,
a Poe, or something of the like.
Remember the Composer Brothers, Sharp and Flat? When Sharp attempted to
restore Ikana, he inadvertently raised many of its dead former occupants.
Igos du Ikana returned to rule the Stalfos from the Ancient Castle of Ikana
(we can assume that it did not always have the ‘Ancient’ prefix.) Link is
forced to enter the castle and head for the Throne Room. Here, he must do
battle with the king’s royal bodyguards before fighting Igos du Ikana
himself. He attacks with a large sword, and sometimes detaches his head to
spit fireballs at Link. He is weakened after a few sword strikes, then
finally defeated when Link exploits the king’s new vulnerability to sunlight
(new since he died, I mean.) Upon his victory, Link learns the Elegy of
Emptiness, a quest-critical Ocarina melody.
In life, he was good friends with Captain Keeta, who leads the Stalchildren
of Termina. You can wear the Captain’s Hat to fool the king briefly, but he
knew the man well enough to not be fooled by an imposter for more than a
split-second.
=============================================================================
I l i a
Malon wannabe
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
Link’s kinda tomboyish childhood friend and daughter of Mayor Bo, Ilia
harbours great fondness for both of them, as well as for Epona. But no matter
how hard she tries, Epona just plain likes Link better. She doesn’t like it,
but she does recognize the bond that Link and Epona share, and as a parting
gift for his journey to Hyrule Castle, she makes him a charm that symbolises
the love between man and beast. However, she is quick to anger when Link
injures Epona slightly by recklessly jumping fences. She seizes the charger
and takes her to Ordon Spring, refusing to give her back. After some coaxing,
Link convinces Ilia to let go of the reins (pun!!) and let Epona take some
risks once in a while.
No sooner has he done this, however, than a portal opens above Ordon Spring
and a gang of Bokoblins storms the village, knocking out Link and abducting
Ilia and the village kids. Somehow, Ilia winds up pretty far away from where
they did – in her case, she finds refuge in the Hidden Village. Impaz,
wanting to leave because of the danger but unable to because of the relic she
must guard, is in a huge dilemma and is very, very worried, especially what
with the Twilight having descended on Lanayru Province. Ilia, ever the good
girl, gives her the charm she made for Link, and tells her how Link will come
and save them. Well, she’s half-right, but not in quite the way she thought.
The next part of her story is a little foggy, but somehow she ends up miles
away in Hyrule Castle Town, all of her memories wiped by severe trauma – she
doesn’t even know her own name. Telma the barmaid takes her under her wing,
letting her live at the bar for a while. When Link finds her there, Ilia
doesn’t even recognize him, but Telma can see it in his eyes. As it turns
out, Prince Ralis could benefit from the healing hand of Renado in Kakariko
Village, and Ilia would be safer there, so they assemble in Telma’s wagon and
Link must guard them from Bokoblin assaults as they cross two plains (going
the long route, because the town’s east bridge is out). Thanks to Link, the
trio makes it to Kakariko safely.
Ilia spends the rest of the game here, but her amnesia (a really, really
overdone cliché; I was disappointed by this development) remains. Towards the
third-last dungeon, Link retraces Ilia’s footsteps and gets the charm she
gave to Impaz, which causes a synapse to fire and restore Ilia’s memories all
at once. The charm, by the way, is a nifty item that lets Link call Epona
from anywhere, instead of just from preset points.
Her father, Mayor Bo, is one of only two humans to have ever sumo wrestled a
Goron and come out on top. Both he and Link cheated, though: They used Bo’s
Iron Boots. By the way, does anybody else think Bo’s moustache makes him look
a little like a boar?
=============================================================================
I m p a
Royal handmaiden
Race: Sheikah
Appearances: The Legend of Zelda
The Adventure of Link
Ocarina of Time
Oracle of Seasons
Oracle of Ages
Impa is supposed to be Zelda’s nursemaid, handmaiden, teacher, bodyguard and
all-around loyal companion, but if you ask me, she doesn’t do an especially
good job of it. She spends most of her time being injured and allowing
Zelda’s capture. And she doesn’t even bother to show up for her first two
appearances: She just phones it in, briefly summarizing the backstory. In
this capacity, she seems to be something of a chronicler of Hylian lore.
She’s one of the few people who seem to be mildly aware of the Triforce, and
she knows all the secrets of the Hylian Royal Family.
She actually appears in Ocarina of Time, in the flesh. While other games have
her old and frail, practically crippled from her violent adventures, and
wearing a long red robe, Ocarina sees her youthful, energetic and garbed in
battle gear. This is interesting because it offers us our only chance to
observe a real live Sheikah. The Sheikah placed the Gossip Stones and were
responsible for many of the temples in Hyrule, but except for Impa they’re a
no-show. They were the venerable stewards of the Royal Family in ancient
times (mostly during the period when all of Hyrule was at war with itself),
but since then their numbers have dwindled to just Impa. She’s the last
surviving one. Maybe the Sheikah had seen through their intended purpose and
were no longer needed? Killing off an entire race because they have outlived
their usefulness seems a little harsh, but then again, the Three Goddesses
did drown an entire country to stop a single would-be dictator.
Anyway, Impa teaches Link Zelda’s Lullaby early in the game – this is in fact
the tune that she used to play for Zelda to put her to sleep. When Ganondorf
assaults Hyrule Castle, Impa acts quickly and flees with Zelda on horseback.
For the next seven years, Hyrule is plunged into darkness. But Zelda doesn’t
go down so easily. In hiding, she formulates a plan and tries to do it mostly
through manipulation, but she also acts directly. To that end, Impa teaches
her some of the Sheikah’s secret arts and she takes on the guise of Sheik.
Everyone in Hyrule Castle takes cover in Kakariko Village. I don’t think Impa
had a Ganondorf takeover in mind when she drew up the blueprints. When Link
beats the Shadow Temple, it turns out the last surviving Sheikah happens to
be the Sage of Shadow. Whew! What if it had been a different Sheikah...?
Oh, and in the Oracle games she is either possessed by Veran and used to
create catastrophe, or grievously wounded by a group of one-hit enemies,
depending on which game you’re playing. Either way, she takes up residence in
a house just outside of town and helps Link recover that game’s main item. In
a main-linked game, she also opens the way to the side-quest that ends in
Zelda’s rescue.
A little old woman named Impaz appeared in Twilight Princess’s Hidden
Village. They both have white hair, her name is clearly a derivative of Impa,
and the Hidden Village is the abandoned but ancestral home of the Sheikah, so
perhaps she is Impa’s distant descendant. Her only purpose is to give Link a
book written in Sky Writing that will let him reach the City in the Sky, but
reaching her entails one of the best sequences in the game, a tense Old West
shootout with a slew of Bulblins set to some of the best musical pieces in
the series. It was so good, in fact, it was even revisited in Link’s Crossbow
Training. So thanks for that, Impaz.
=============================================================================
I n d i g o – G o s
Producers of slammin’ tunes
Race: Zoras
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
The Indigo-Gos are Zora Cape’s five-man music sensation. Though musical
instruments and music themes have always played a huge role in Zelda, the
Indigo-Gos are its first and only band. Unfortunately, like the rest of
Termina’s residents Skull Kid has been causing them huge problems, some of
them lethal. For one thing, they were booked to play at the Carnival of Time
in Clock Town, where locals celebrate the passing of another year with
festivities and prayer to the Four Giants. But the impending apocalypse has
seen their show cancelled.
Moreover, the evil that has invaded Great Bay Temple has turned their usually
pristine waters barely liveable. Naturally, everybody is a bit down. Once
Link rousts Gyoakku from the temple, however, they spend the rest of the
three-day time period playing in front of Zora Cape’s giant shell. It’s
pretty neat to see them all playing together.
Lulu (vocals) – Her mother was in the original Indigo-Gos, and Lulu’s voice
may be even more beautiful. However, Lulu’s eggs were stolen just before the
game began, sending her spiralling into worry and depression that has robbed
her of the ability to speak. What the Gerudo thieves planned to do with the
eggs, I do not know. As for the father, from a few casual references we can
infer that it’s probably Mikau. Then again, would Nintendo allow such content
as premarital childbirth into one of their marquee titles? Anyway, when Lulu
hears the New Waves Bossa Nova, she sings it for a giant turtle disguised as
an island, who braves the storm surrounding Great Bay Temple in order to
deliver Link to its doorstep. As the wearer of a long, slinky blue dress, she
is one of only a handful of Zora to wear clothes. This is a little odd,
considering her alternate-world counterpart is Princess Ruto, who embraces
the customary Zora nakedness.
Evan (keyboard) – As the band’s moody frontman, he assumes most of the
responsibility for writing their songs. He gets quite offended when the other
members write songs without his input. But their best stuff comes from Lulu
and the guitar-playing duo, anyway. Almost uniquely, he has a number of
golden scales among the typical white and blue ones.
Mikau (guitar) – Mikau is so awesome, he gets his very own profile.
Japas (bass guitar) – Mikau’s good friend, Japas backs him with a guitar
fashioned from a crustacean. The two frequently hold very successful jam
sessions in Japas’ room, where they come up with guitar patterns on the spot.
They later use these riffs in their songs, much to Evan’s consternation.
Japas styles his fins in a punk-rock style.
Tijo (drums) – Substantially larger than the average Zora, Tijo plays a set
of puffer-fish drums. He seems to be the only band member with all the pieces
of the puzzle regarding their relationships with each other – he knows about
Mikau and Lulu’s secret relationship, for instance. His body is of a
different phenotype than most Zora. My Grade 10 Science teacher enjoyed the
Genetics unit very much.
Toto – I might as well talk about him too while I’m at it. Toto is the
group’s manager. He handles their bookings and appearances. He seems to be
relatively affluent and has made a lot of money from their success, meaning
he’s made them a lot of money.
The Indigo-Gos are best known for their hit single ‘The Ballad of the Wind
Fish.’ That song is originally from Link’s Awakening: Marin taught it to Link
so he could wake the Wind Fish and return home. Lulu wrote the New Wave Bossa
Nova, which, incidentally, revives her near-death (?) eggs and causes them to
hatch when they’re all gathered together. Also, Japas, Evan and Tijo all have
solos on the guitar, organ and drums, respectively.
Indigo-gos is a portmanteau of indigo and go-go. Indigo is a shade of purple.
A go-go is a trend, as in ‘Henshin a go-go, baby!’
=============================================================================
I n g o
Surly farmhand
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
The Minish Cap
Ingo’s appearance is modelled on Luigi from the Mario series of games, and
like Luigi to Talon’s Mario, he is always playing second best. He spends his
days tending the horses and livestock at Lon Lon Ranch. Since Talon does
nothing but sit in his house all day long and play trivial mini-games with
visitors, Ingo is forced to do pretty much all the work there is to do. He
proves himself to be quite an excellent farmhand and a capable rider to boot,
but Talon doesn’t give him nearly the respect he deserves, keeping him
downtrodden with barely enough of a wage to live on. This has left him
frustrated and bitter.
When Ganondorf takes over Hyrule, he kicks Talon out and gives Ingo control
of the ranch. He forces Malon to stay and work for him, under the threat that
he’ll mistreat the horses if she tries to leave. He continues this for seven
years, whoring out the steeds to tourists for brief rides. When Link
liberated Epona, Talon stormed back and wrested control from Ingo. After a
time, the two actually became grudging friends.
In Ocarina, Ingo wore overalls and a green shirt (like Luigi), but he traded
it in for a fancy tunic and ruffled collar for his reappearance as Gorman in
Majora’s Mask. This time he was the leader of a group of performers called
the Gorman Troupe, which chiefly included two sets of twins: Twin brother
jugglers, and twin sister dancers. They were scheduled to perform at the
Carnival of Time, but were cancelled due to the impending apocalypse. Oh, and
adding to the twin theme, Gorman had twin brothers, the Gorman Brothers.
(...) If Link saved Romani Ranch from the aliens on the first night, Cremia
would try to deliver Romani Milk on the second night. But the Gorman
Brothers, like they had the past few times, tried to steal the cargo, so Link
volunteered to fend them off as Cremia drove the milk wagon to town.
Ingo returned with his dignified appearance in a manner not at all having to
do with farming, this time as a money-grubbing landlord in The Minish Cap.
Link was the middleman between he and three sisters, two of whom became
tenants. The last one was out of luck for purposes of game balance.
=============================================================================
I z a
Altrustic Charon
Race: Hyrule
Appearances: Twilight Princess
The spunky, fearless, afro-toting girl and her younger sister Hena may love
each other, but that doesn’t stop them from being malicious wenches. Nah,
it’s actually just sibling rivalry, really, and the two do seem to stick
together in crisis and help each other out when the time comes, venomous
barbs or no. Funny enough, they both also have an affinity for the water, and
ended up opening water-related businesses in the same stretch of Zora’s
River. For her part, Iza runs a boat rental shop, but finds herself in
trouble when a cave-in blocks the route downwards and occasional Twilight
patrols pull through to kill things. Luckily for her, Link comes to her aid
with a handy Spin Attack, and upon hearing her plight agrees to get her
establishment back in operational order. A few well-placed Bomb-arrows are
all it takes to clear out the rubble and open the way, from whence she begins
to offer him the privilege of giving her money. Just kidding, sort of; she
also gives him the Bomb Bag she lent him for the purposes of helping her,
with a capacity upgrade in the offing if he can get a high score in her mini-
game. This is an interesting pastime which patrons play as they paddle, in
order to ‘pass the time’ on their way downriver (>_>). Keeping close to Iza’s
Zora assistant - who’s kind of cute and cool, but doesn’t have a name - Link
pulls out his Hero’s Bow and tries to shoot a number of coloured pots on his
way down the rapids. This was such a fun mini-game, it was reborn in Link’s
Crossbow Training, though he flew solo in that (non-canon) iteration. At the
end of the course, his guide affixes a rope to the boat, and...drags it and
its passenger straight back upriver. O_o
=============================================================================
J a b u – J a b u
Aquatic deity
Race: Giant turtle
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
Oracle of Ages
The Wind Waker
Jabu-Jabu is a giant green fish-turtle thing with a big blue gem stuck in his
forehead. The Goddesses appointed him as the lesser deity charged with the
overall safety and well being of the Zora race. So much for that. He never
says anything and the influence he chooses to exert is pretty limited. When
Ganondorf attacks, with warlock magic and a third of the Triforce at his
disposal, he easily overpowers Jabu-Jabu, who is never seen while Link is an
adult. The Zora are then unilaterally put on ice, and Zora’s Domain becomes
one big icebox. Their other sanctuary, Lake Hylia, becomes festering with
Tektites and is almost drained by Morpha, who has taken over the Water
Temple. Nice going, double-J.
Like the Great Deku Tree and Darunia, however, he also plays a key role in
helping Ganondorf take over Hyrule: The third dungeon is Jabu-Jabu’s Belly, a
surreal cavern filled with organic contraptions, walls that bleed when struck
with the sword and an infestation of Bari and Biri (electrically charged
enemies that float through the air and look a little like jellyfish.) Link
must allow himself to be swallowed so he can venture into Jabu-Jabu’s
digestive system and make contact with Princess Ruto, who eventually gives
him the final Spiritual Stone.
Like 90% of the polys from Ocarina, Jabu-Jabu’s is reused for Majora’s Mask.
Well, his face is. This time, he’s not a deity, but he’s still a giant turtle
– he’s sleeping in the middle of Termina Bay next to Zora Cape, disguised as
an island. He even has palm trees growing out of his back. When Lulu recovers
her voice, she sings to wake the turtle, who then carries Link through a
terrible storm surrounding Great Bay Temple, the third dungeon.
Jabu-Jabu’s Belly was a pretty creative dungeon, so he reprised that role in
Oracle of Ages. Once again, the Zora worship him and he protects them. The
quest to enter Jabu-Jabu’s Belly and vanquish the evil inside spans both the
Past and Present.
Now, in The Wind Waker, there’s a character called Jabun. I’m not quite sure
what to make of him, but it is generally believed that Jabu-Jabu altered his
body and changed his name, becoming Jabun. A few things in that game are made
pretty clear, like the Zora having become the Rito, but Jabu-Jabu becoming
Jabun is sketchy. Okay, the names are similar, and they’re both water
deities, and they both offer a blue quest item, AND Jabun is one of only a
handful of people to speak the ancient Hylian language (in other words, the
language spoken by the inhabitants of Ocarina of Time’s Hyrule). Hmm, maybe I
am sure, after all.
=============================================================================
J a l h a l l a, P r o t e c t o r o f t h e S e a l
Obese ectoplasmmic entity
Race: Poe
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Four Swords Adventures
Jalhalla guarded the Earth Temple’s inner sanctuary, where Link needed to
deliver Medli in order to begin restoring power to the Master Sword. He was
very large, very fat, purple and masked. He is the compliment to the Wind
Temple’s Molgera, Protector of the Seal, but he’s also known as the Master
Poe. In fact, his very body is composed of two-dozen Poes of various colours,
though Jalhalla himself is a single entity.
In either of his incarnations, Jalhalla is susceptible to light being
directed at his mask. The FSA battle is barely worth mentioning, but the
Waker one is pretty interesting. Using the Mirror Shield to direct light onto
his mask stuns him. When Link lifts him with the Power Bracelet and bowls him
into the arena’s spiked perimeter, he breaks into his component parts, which
must be quickly destroyed. He soon reforms and the process must be repeated;
he dies when the final Poe is destroyed.
Jalhalla reminds me a lot of Boolossus from Luigi’s Mansion. Boolossus was a
big boss formed of 15 Boos. When Luigi lured him into one of the place’s
unicorn statues, he would break into the Boos, who then had to be
individually vacuumed up with the Poltergust 3000. Both are ghosts comprised
of smaller ghosts, so I wonder if Jalhalla wasn’t inspired by Boolossus.
I don’t know if there’s a connection, but _V_alhalla is the final resting
place of warriors in Norse mythology.
=============================================================================
J o a n n e
Mermaid
Race: H...Hylian? Gerudo?? Or...or mermaid.
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
The sister of Jolene, whom you’ll read about in just a moment, Joanne is much
less important. She’s ok too though. I could have just missed something
really obvious, but I’m a little unclear as to whether she’s actually a
mermaid or just pretending. Either way, she provides a great deal of
amusement to the Old Wayfarer on Bannan Island, who muses that Link might be
able to catch a mermaid with a fishing rod. Not having a fishing rod, Link
instead hits her in the face with his Boomerang. When he reports back to the
Old Wayfarer, he says she’s probably run off for another man, and when he
goes to see Linebeck, the dog says that yes, he did talk to her, but she swam
away. Finally returning to the Old Wayfarer, he finds that Joanne has settled
into the pool of water in the dude’s house. In thanks for bringing such a
beautiful creature into his home, the Old Wayfarer offers Link a Fishing Rod.
Later on, when Link heads off the coast of Bannan to rendezvous with the Old
Wayfarer on the S.S. Wayfarer, he notes that the mermaid eats too much, and
he’s running out of money because he has to spend it all on food.
=============================================================================
J o l e n e
Strong woman
Race: Looks like Gerudo
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
Ok, first thing’s first. By all accounts, she appears to be a Gerudo. What
what what!? I thought they all died in the Great Flood! Meaning either some
of them somehow survived, or these are Gerudo from a land other than Hyrule –
how can either of those things be?? Or they could be the spiritual successors
to the Gerudo or something, or are just weirdly similar to the Gerudo, or
it’s just Jolene’s personal style or something. Whatever the case we’ll
probably never get an answer, and this paragraph may well be the deepest
anyone will ever delve into the mystery, because it’s not exactly a
discussion of broad interest.
Anyways, moving on to more important things, Jolene has some kind of history
with Linebeck that isn’t fully elaborated upon, but it’s quite clear Jolene
believes she got a raw deal. She roams the extremely small seas of Phantom
Hourglass in her pirate ship, ostensibly doing piratey things, only to drop
everything the instant she spots the S.S. Linebeck on the horizon. With a
bloodthirsty war cry, she takes off after it and fires torpedoes at it.
Should she manage to board, she’ll immediately scramble belowdecks, only to
find it Linebeck-lacking but boasting a battle-ready Link. She fights with
the Gerudo traditional curved blade, but her skills definitely don’t match up
to those of the N64 girls. After being bested, she takes off, and Linebeck
emerges from the barrel he was hiding in and offers increasing Rupee rewards
based on the number of times you’ve fought her off, levelling out at I
believe 100 Rupees.
She’s a very angry woman. She wears her makeup so it looks like she’s always
glaring hatefully, and I think her teeth become pointed from time to time,
but that may be my imagination. And come to think of it, her hair is brown,
rather than the Gerudo red, so that pokes some more holes in my ‘Jolene is
Gerudo’ theory.
Late in the game, Ciela implies that she can clearly tell Jolene is in love
with Linebeck, and it’s just that his shortsightedness and self-hate are
preventing him from realising it.
=============================================================================
J o v a n i
Stealing Midas’ ideas
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
A short, fat little man who sold his soul for infinite wealth. This
backfired, however, because he himself was transformed into riches, and his
cat was turned into a gold figure that sat on top of his head. Since this
wasn’t quite what he was hoping for, and he badly wants to see his
girlfriend, Jovani requests that Link track down the 20 scattered pieces of
his soul and return them to him. When he does, the curse only half-breaks;
Jovani can move around and his cat is returned to normal, but he is still
made of gold and his eyes are still rubies. He gives Link an empty bottle as
a reward and asks for all 60 pieces of his soul, and after receiving such he
finally returns to normal and reunites with his sweetheart.
=============================================================================
K a e p o r a G a e b o r a
Avian manipulator
Race: Owl
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
Four Swords Adventures
Kaepora Gaebora is a human-sized owl who periodically swoops in to offer Link
cryptic advice. There is an Owl character in Link’s Awakening who hasn’t been
confirmed to be Kaepora Gaebora specifically, but most fans treat the two as
one and the same (at the very least, KG was inspired by the Owl.) The first
time we saw him was when Link returned to the site of his shipwreck to
recover his sword, at which point the good owl laid out the general idea of
his quest. Throughout the game, he functioned as a plot device who arrived on
the scene at critical moments to explain what was going on and reveal a
little more of the mystery of Koholint Island. He may have been an agent of
the Wind Fish, and the manual mentions he might not have had pure intentions.
He performed a similar function in his three reprisals, letting Link in on
what’s been going on while he’s been at other locations. It is notable that
in Ocarina of Time, he did not even believe in the legend of the Hero of
Time, but by the time they met at the Spirit Temple (the last time), he’d
been convinced. He only appears when Link is a child, since Sheik takes over
after that, so his fate under Ganondorf’s rule is a little ambiguous. Many
fans (I’m not really one of them, sorry guys) find his extended rambling
irritating and unnecessary, so he has gained great notoriety for being
annoying.
=============================================================================
K a g o r o n
We Didn’t Start the Fire
Race: Goron
Appearances: Spirit Tracks
Bearing a slightly larger beard than an average Goron, Kagoron is also
coloured a lustrous muted beige as opposed to most Gorons’ dull orange-brown.
As the spiritual and political leader of Goron Village in the Fire Realm, he
serves a function similar to the Big Brother role seen in earlier titles.
When Link first visits the community, it is besieged by falling firey rocks
and the resultant blazes. Kagoron has travelled to the top of the mountain in
order to pray for protection from their patron deity at the Altar of the
Mountain Goddess. Link follows him up and hears him out; the Goron prelate
implores him to find something to douse the fires, even giving him a free
freight cart for his train so that he can fetch something, anything, that
might help. This turns out to be Anouki-style Mega Ice, which saves
everybody’s lives and wins Kagoron’s cooperation, as he moves out of the way
of the cave he was standing in front of, thus granting access to the next
Force Gem. Later on, he sends Link a map pointing out treasure in Dark Ore
Mine.
=============================================================================
K a m a r o
Let’s jam!
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
A master of all forms of dance, Kamaro died before he could present his
personal perfected form to the world. The work which becomes a new genre
itself will revolutionize the world of dance, but alas, in his present
condition Kamaro is in no state to be spreading the word. Luckily, Link is a
shrewd lad who finds himself wandering Termina field one night between
midnight and 6:00 AM, when suddenly he spots the wisps of blue fire that
point out Kamaro’s distant ghost (little blue fires seem to represent ghosts
quite often in Japanese fiction. It has to be a folklore thing.) Hopping from
the dry levee (or is it just a harsh, long winding river where those flowers
float?) to the tall, mushroom-shaped rock in the middle of the river, Link
encounters one of the creepier characters in the Zelda universe: a long,
lanky, emaciated, shirtless, deathly white old man with an elongated head,
overpronounced cheekbones, green-coiffed topknot and no pupils. He’s stuck
perpetually practising the dance he dreamed up, unwilling to let it slip away
but unable to do anything to the opposite effect. All of this is done to some
utterly sweet Persian flutes.
Recognizing a troubled soul when he sees one, Link whips out his trusty
Ocarina of Time and plays a pivotal little ditty we like to call the Song of
Healing, which is supposed to soothe the confused and allow them to let go of
any attachment they still feel towards the world of the living. Unfortunately
for Kamaro, in his case it’s not so simple. His creation, he explains, simply
cannot go unlearned, but leaf-like medium that he is, Link is prepared and
more than willing to take on the burden of learning it. Startled and pleased
at the sudden appearance of a student, Kamaro eagerly imparts the
meticulously designed routine he’s worked out, which Link is then able to
duplicate with flawless fidelity upon donning Kamaro’s Mask, which
materialises in his hands shortly after. True to his promise that the fruits
of Kamaro’s labour will make their way to the ends of the earth, Link teaches
the dance to the Rosa Sisters, who even end up performing it for half of
Termina at the Carnival of Time. Secure in the knowledge that his moves will
be passed on, Kamaro does the same, finally able to play freely without fear
of risky things.
Shout-outs to the similarly named Great Kamroh from the Baten Kaitos duplex,
one of my very favourite experiences of the entire sixth hardware generation.
=============================================================================
K a m o
Mooner
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Kamo is the bowl-cut-sporting guy on the steps leading up to Windfall
Island’s market. He’s sort of like a lot of us when we were teenagers: He
doesn’t talk to anyone unless they’re outgoing enough to talk to him, writes
depressing poetry, and claims that nobody understands him. The only way he’ll
believe that you do is if you bring him a picture of the full moon (his
allusion to which is vague yet painfully obvious), which requires you to
first wait for one since it’s not worth it to cycle through days and nights
over and over just for him, then snap a quick pictograph, head back to the
island and shove it in his face. He’ll give you a Treasure Chart leading to a
Heart Piece to express his gratitude, though for what I’m not exactly sure.
The source of Kamo’s pain is his probably unrequited love for Linda that he
just can’t bring himself to confess, hence his fascination with the moon, an
equivocally beautiful object that fills his nights where Linda doesn’t.
=============================================================================
K e a t o n
Ninetales’ distant cousin
Race: Keaton
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
In Japanese folklore, foxes are creatures with magical ability. They are also
very long-lived, and they grow more powerful as they age. Every hundred years
they grow another tail, until they reach their maximum strength of nine
tales. This legend has appeared in quite a few video game forms, and the
Keaton is one of ‘em. Keaton is a golden-furred fox who appears to those
wearing a Keaton’s Mask, which serves three roles in the N64 games. In
Majora’s Mask, once summoned the Keaton will have Link answer trivia
questions, the reward for which is a Piece of Heart or Rupees. Keatons are
said to be mischievous but incredibly wise animal spirits.
=============================================================================
K i k i
Bipedal warm-blooded mammal
Race: Monkey
Appearances: A Link to the Past
Link’s Awakening
Twilight Princess
Kiki is a monkey who opened up new areas for Link, but only if he thought he
was going to get something out of it. Players were startled to find Kiki
tailing them when they emerged from the hedge maze. For a large sum of
Rupees, Kiki opened up the gates of the Dark Palace, being one of only a few
monkeys who knew the trick to it. Similarly, he opened the gates to Kanalet
Castle on Kohlint Island in exchange for a bundle of bananas. There are also
monkeys in Twilight Princess. None of them is specifically named, but if one
of them did have a name, it’s a good bet it’d be Kiki, and it’d probably be
the pink bow-wearing one. These monkeys are struggling to wrest their domain,
Faron Woods, from the grip of Twilight, and they enlist Link to help. After
Link rescues each of them, they return the favour by propelling him to the
boss chamber.
============================================================================
K i l i, H a n n a, a n d M i s h a
Fangirls
Race: Hylians
Appearances: Twilight Princess
I have to confess, I never even realised that the trio even had names until I
read about them elsewhere on the Internet, which sort of backs up my
assertion that Twilight Princess named a whole bunch of stuff that had no
business being named, for no rational reason. If these are the girls I
remember from when I played the game, then I always took them to be in their
early 20s, but then I read in yet another source (since I had to research
them) that they’re probably more around 10. Bleh. Either way, the girls, clad
in the colours of the Three Goddesses, hang around the STAR Game in order to
catch a glimpse of Purlo and a snatch of his soothing manly voice. After Link
wins the thing, they fall in love with him too, but they’re too shy to throw
themselves at him so they run away instead, dropping Recovery Hearts in their
wake.
============================================================================
K i l l e r B e e s
Windfall Elementary School Hide-and-Go-Seek Club
Race: Hylians
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Clearly inspired by the Bombers Gang, a similar group of youngsters from
Majora’s Mask, the Killer Bees are a group of truant troublemakers who pull
pranks and raise hell for everyone around them, particularly their teacher,
Miss Marie. Doesn’t seem they particularly have a problem with her, more like
it’s just something interesting to do.
Their well-intentioned overlord enlists Link, as a sort of super-cool big
brother figure they’ll try to look up to and imitate, in an attempt to curb
their yankii tendencies and bring them back into her folds. Her plan
backfires mildly, and instead they challenge Link to a straight-up, no-holds-
barred game of hide and seek. This played out in almost exactly the same
manner as the Bombers’ cat-and-mouse challenge, except without any kind of
time limit (not that it ever really made a difference in the first place.)
The kid who makes his way to the beach area and cleverly hides in the middle
of an open field is the most difficult, partly because he has so many careers
of flight, and partly because Maggie’s father will sometimes run at you and
spring open an unavoidable dialogue sequence that takes a hundred years no
matter how zestily you mash the A button, giving your quarry time to make
good his escape. Shut up, old man. I was two frickin’ feet away from the kid
and then you interrupted me. I already listened to your spiel. I’ll save
Maggie when I get to it. Please, please leave me alone now.
After being thoroughly defeated in the sport of kings, the Killer Bees not
only submit to Link’s will but acknowledge him as their one true role model,
which is great really, because a young boy could do much worse for a role
model than someone who constantly puts his own life on the line for the sake
of protecting not only those dear to him but total strangers as well. The
only downside to this is that from that point on, whenever Link enters the
Windfall Island town square the squad immediately detects him, homes in, and
swarms his location, refusing to piss off until he puts some space between
himself and the square or goes somewhere they can’t follow, such as up a
ladder and onto a ledge; even then, they’ll huddle at the bottom of the wall,
ready to resume their assault as soon as he lands. Guys yeah, please go play
or something. They must have been taking lessons from Maggie’s father.
As part of their reformation, the kids look for a way to apologize to Miss
Marie, and since they’ve heard she quite likes Joy Pendants, they decide that
one of those will do nicely. Somehow they find one, way up a tree, but to
their disappointment, they have no means of getting to it. After a while they
elect to sleep on it, but since they’ve been kind enough to point it out,
Link just goes and grabs it so he can earn kudos with the teacher himself.
What a dick.
The Killer Bees are as follows:
Ivan, the lord – leads the Killer Bees as their lord in their various
endeavours after deciding what they are. Ivan does the most talking and as a
result he’s also the rudest, at least pre-subjugation. He probably has a good
balance of talents. Renaissance Man?
Jin, the shadow king – it may be that Jin’s position of ‘advisor’ means that
he’s the one actually directing the actions of the group as a sort of shadow
king; we may never know for sure. Even if he isn’t, we can probably surmise
that he’s the most intelligent of the group.
Jan, the enforcer – sadly, this is where my vague anime reference starts to
fall apart. Well, Jan is clearly the biggest of the quartet and therefore the
one relegated with more muscular tasks. Since this is a Nintendo game and
nobody can be both strong AND smart, he’s probably stupid.
Jun-Roberto, the Aldaris – treachery! Jun-Roberto plots and schemes night and
day to wrest control of the Killer Bees from Ivan and slash open a new era in
its history. Yeah, ok buddy, you know what? Even if you somehow achieved your
sorry ends, the others would never follow you because you’re useless. That’s
why you joined the group in the first place, because if you were strong you’d
either be an independent Mugen or you’d have gathered subordinates of your
own and formed a competitor or at least contemporary. So, no.
The group dynamic seems to be getting along pretty well as it is.
============================================================================
K i n g B u l b l i n
Silent antagonist
Race: Bulblin
Appearance: Twilight Princess
This guy is actually pretty cool. Bulblins, the main field enemies in this
game, are much greener and more orcish than their contemporaries, and this
guy is the biggest, strongest, fattest one of all. He’s a skilled Bullbo-
rider (having domesticated the mighty Lord Bullbo), he carries a giant axe,
his eyes glow orange, and he has two wickedly curved horns on his helmet.
Link first encounters him in Kakariko Village, when he taunts Link by
hoisting Colin onto a pole and riding around with him waving high in the air.
Link quickly mounts Epona and gives chase, hacking past his cronies and
eventually forcing the nameless boss into combat. This essentially amounts to
a jousting match set on Eldin Bridge. When Link wins, the boss seemingly
falls to his death and Colin is rescued. But wait! Part of guarding Telma’s
wagon on its path from Castle Town to Kakariko involves jousting against the
guy again, though this time it’s slightly harder – and he’s missing a horn,
because it broke off when he fell.
He’s once again sent plummeting to his apparent doom, but reappears when Link
storms their base camp in the Gerudo Desert. This time, they skirmish on
foot, with the big man swinging around a bigger axe that causes all kinds of
collateral damage as they fight. They have one final showdown in Hyrule
Castle. He introduces himself with the first words he’s spoken all game, ‘I
have come to play.’ When Link bests him one final time, he sees the light and
switches sides. He’s always fought for whichever side seems to be the
strongest – he has nothing against Link, war and pillaging are just a way of
life for him. He concedes a Small Key that Link needs to progress. Now why
would Ganondorf entrust such an important item to an agent whose loyalties
are so shaky?
We see him one last time in the end credits, riding merrily across Hyrule
Field with his buddies.
=============================================================================
K i n g M o b l i n
Big bully
Race: Moblin
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Oracle of Seasons
Oracle of Ages
King Moblin is another one of those ‘ordinary enemies with extraordinary
superpowers, not to mention greater mass,’ if we do not deem such a label too
unwieldy. He appeared only in the Game Boy games, mainly as someone who
terrorized the nearby population. He first swarmed over Mabe Village on
Koholint, instilling fear in the inhabitants and kidnapping Madame MeowMeow’s
doggie, a Chain Chomp named BowWow. Link had to liberate BowWow from King
Moblin, who mostly had a charging attack, in order to enter the Bottle
Grotto. In the Oracle saga, where he was known as Great Moblin, he was less
lean, greener, and chucked oversized Bombs, which had to be tossed back to
damage him. In Seasons, he harassed and tolled people from Sunken City, while
in Ages he oppressed the Gorons and was responsible for their Elder being
buried in a rockslide.
=============================================================================
K i n g M u t o h a n d h i s K n i g h t s
Ancient stalwarts
Race: Hylians
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
King Mutoh was the ancient sovereign of the defunct Cobble Kingdom, which
ruled the waters thousands of years before Phantom Hourglass. As a high-
profile person of interest, he was guarded by a retinue of four loyal
knights:
Brant, the 4th Knight – garbed in blue
Bremeur, the 3rd Knight – clothed in green
Doylan, the 2nd Knight – clad in yellow
Max, the 1st Knight – dressed in red
Brant, as it would follow, is the weakest Knight with the least standing,
while Max is the most powerful and mighty. All four are massively tall and
barrel-chested, as is King Mutoh himself, which may suggest that the Cobblers
were a very large people, or maybe it’s just their thoroughbred upbringing.
More telling is their pseudo-Egyptian clothing, which consists of those
Pharaoh-style hats and striped beard-cappers, which goes along with the
general Egyptian theme of this part of the game.
In his quest for the third and final Pure Metal, Auquanine, Link gets a tip
from Astrid that he should head to the Isle of the Dead and investigate. Here
he encounters Brant, who was entombed along with Mutoh and his three
contemporaries in order to keep the king safe even in death. The guardsman
instructs Link to visit the Isle of Ruins, where the Cobble Kingdom once sat,
and gives him the Regal Necklace, necessary for entrance. Upon reaching the
island, Link quickly locates Bremeur, whose tomb controls the island’s
drainage system, but which has a failsafe in the form of the key being
elsewhere. Crossing the island and braving the dangers of Doylan’s temple,
Link meets the Second Knight and gains the King’s Key, with which he lowers
the island’s water level, revealing the complex network of walkways, stairs
and footpaths that winds its way throughout the entire island, eventually
leadng him to Max’s Temple. Max, however, is unable to allow himself to just
let a stranger go stomping around in his liege’s tomb, so he tasks the Hero
of Winds with a puzzle he sets that requires him to figure out the ancient
kingdom’s once-famous iconography. After passing this test, Link is finally
able to enter Mutoh’s Temple.
Much like the smaller tombs of the knights, Mutoh’s Temple is built in the
shape of a giant golden pyramid, with all manner of traps to thwart would-be
graverobbers and a slew of long-dead Stalfos and other dangerous monsters.
After braving the temple’s dangers and defeating Eox, a massive stone soldier
that was basically holding Mutoh’s soul hostage, Link meets the ghostly king,
who expresses his thanks for restoring peace to the temple and his slumber,
and his wonder at the ability Link has on display. In addition to a huge
birdlike belt buckle, cascading shoulder plates, and round metal hat, Mutoh
wears a sweeping regal red cape not dissimilar to those of the various Kings
of Hyrule. Also, no shirt; he’s king of a very warm kingdom. Upon seeing the
three Spirits that Link has accumulated, Mutoh realises that the boy is an
ally of the Ocean King, and though unable to do anything to personally help
in his present state, he’s only too happy to hand over the Pure Metal so that
Link may continue on his quest. After that, he returns to his deathly rest,
perhaps never to reawaken again.
=============================================================================
K i n g o f R e d L i o n s
Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
When the Three Goddesses drowned Hyrule, a sea formed over it and it was
frozen in time. All the occupants were either dead or suspended. But its
king, Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule, remained, awaiting the opportunity to rebirth
his homeland.
To facilitate his efforts, he took physical form above the waves, where he
would be able to exert just enough influence when the time came. Curiously,
he chose to do this in the wooden body of a red boat with a regal, bestial,
talking figurehead. When the Helmaroc King threw Link into the sea, King of
Red Lions rescued him and then drifted to Windfall Island. From here, he
directed Link as he sought to gather the Goddesses’ Pearls.
The boat was quite modular, able to zip along by sail, fire a cannon, and
haul up treasure with the Grappling Hook. King of Red Lions was Link’s only
way to cross the endless stretches of blue ocean between islands. He was also
this game’s Navi, periodically offering gameplay hints via Tetra’s pendant
(taking over from Tetra after Link’s first visit to the Forsaken Fortress.)
He revealed his identity a little more than halfway through the game, when
Link and Tetra headed down to Hyrule so Daphnes could point out the fact that
she was Zelda without even knowing it. He is shown in the game’s final
sequence, when the three combat Ganondorf (though he himself does not
actually partake in battle.) At the end, the water ceiling collapses on
Hyrule, sealing it forever. The game’s a little coy about the king’s fate,
but it seems he drowned. Regardless, there is some poetry in his brave
sacrifice of self and kingdom in hopes for the future.
=============================================================================
K i n g Z o r a
Whole wheat, whole wheat
Race: Zora (betcha didn’t see that one coming)
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Oracle of Ages
Most members of his species are lean and athletic, but King Zora is frankly
immense. He’s three times Link’s girth. How can those scrawny little legs
possibly support that much weight? I guess they can’t, because he spends all
his time sitting on his proportionately massive throne, from which he governs
the Zora people. King Zora XVI seems to be relatively well liked by his
subjects, though without the blind adoration afforded Darunia by the Gorons.
His main purpose is to block off the way to Jabu-Jabu until Link finds Ruto’s
letter-in-a-bottle, at which point he scooches over to let him pass. (He
again bars the way to Jabu-Jabu in Oracle of Ages, but in a political rather
than physical sense.) When Ganondorf takes over, he encases all of Zora’s
Domain in ice, and many of its inhabitants in red ice. When Link thaws King
Zora using a bottle of Blue Fire, he explains the situation, directs Link to
the Water Temple, and gives him the Zora Tunic if he hasn’t already bought
it.
King Zora isn’t the first Zora sovereign in the Zelda series, though. In A
Link to the Past, a creature called Zora lived at the fountainhead of Zora’s
River, selling the occasional pair of Zora’s Flippers. Lots of Zora look
really different than the stock models, but Zora was just a really big Zola –
I guess he was to the Zora people what the Helmaroc King was to Helmarocs.
=============================================================================
K n o w – i t – A l l B r o t h e r s
Insufferable
Race: Kokiri
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
The Know-it-All Brothers have a very rare talent: Though very intelligent,
they all have the ability to explain things clearly and without patronizing
the listener. They hang out in their house near the Forest Training Ground,
waiting to explain some of the all-new mechanics to beginners.
=============================================================================
K n u c k l e
Possessed fiend
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
The Minish Cap
In spite of being an utter sycophant to his older brother to the point of
emulating his style of dress - though with blue in place of of green -
Knuckle is a complete handful to the point that Tingle cowers before him,
warning Link that he can’t control him when he gets angry. Like David Jr and
Ankle, Knuckle spends most of his time walking around and around in circles
pushing on handles attached to a pole, so that the giant effigy of Tingle’s
head at the top of Tingle Tower on Tingle Island can be made to spin. He
leaves the others straddled with the entirety of the task much of the time,
though, as evidenced by the fact that he completely just wanders off to
Outset Island for no real reason. This entails a short sidequest that
involves you allowing Knuckle to boss you around for a while; basically, he
gives a series of vague instructions about where to go, and after deciphering
what the hell he means by certain things you travel to that location, play
around with the Control Stick until the game recognizes you’ve reached your
destination, and then list to the next clue. After five or six rounds of
this, Knuckle gives the unwelcome news that you’ll be seeing him around a
whole lot more, because he’s hijacked one of the functions of the Tingle
Tuner and replaced it with an inferior one. Nah, it’s actually situationally
useful, but as I recall the one it replaced was actually one I wanted. Don’t
remember what that one was, but Knuckle’s function served as a shop you could
access from anywhere via the Tingle Tuner. Now you have to admit that IS
pretty cool, and often more convenient than running through bushes for ten
minutes looking to gather the supplies you need, and also allows for
otherwise unprecedented records at the Flight Control Platform’s Bird-Man
Contest, since you can buy a Green Ting halfway thr--no wait never mind,
that’s a function of the regular Tingle Tuner. Yeah, I guess Knuckle is
useless.
In The Minish Cap, he merely sits atop a plateau and offers to fuse Kinstone
pieces. So doing at a sufficient number of chronological junctions with the
entirety of the tetran squadron will result in the unlocking of a variety of
hitherto extremely well-hidden articles.
=============================================================================
K o m a l i
Snivelling bird prince
Race: Rito
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Komali offers the single greatest example of character development in the
entire Zelda series. All right, Zelda is not generally known for its intense,
character-driven plots (but rather for its epic storytelling), and
Ganondorf’s a pretty good one too, but Komali definitely evolves as the story
goes on. When we first meet him, the Prince of the Rito is so agoraphobic he
never leaves his room unless he absolutely has to. He clings (figuratively
and literally) to his Din’s Pearl, an object from his early childhood that
comforts him. He’s dependent on it and unwilling to part with it. He’s also
rather infatuated with Medli, the Great Valoo’s attendant, but can’t work up
the courage to tell her. Worst of all, though he could long ago have
confronted Valoo and earned a scale that would start his wings growing, he
has been too afraid to do so.
Seeing Link stride boldly into the volcano and defeat Gohma stirs something
inside him, however. He not only leaves his room, he gives up Din’s Pearl so
Link can continue his quest. He then immediately gains his dragon scale and
learns to fly. When Link returns to Dragon Roost Island, he’s looking for
Medli so he can give her a flower he picked, though it seems he never does
get to tell her his feelings. He seems a touch arrogant at this point, which
annoyed me. At the end of the game, he is part of the rescue party that hauls
up Link and Tetra when they appear on the surface of the Great Sea. He’s gone
from being a snivelling wuss to an active ally – good job, Big N.
=============================================================================
K o u m e a n d K o t a k e
Senile surrogates
Race: Gerudo maybe
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
Oracle of Seasons
Oracle of Ages
Without the experimental magician twins, Hyrule would have been saved an
awful lot of trouble. When Ganondorf was born, they raised him as his
surrogate mothers, indoctrinating him with warped ideologies that would shape
his ambitions and, thus, the fate of Hyrule itself. The two are fairly
magically adept, but their power is limited in scope: They are skilled in
elemental magic – Koume (red) wields fire, while Kotake (blue) controls ice –
but to achieve great effects they tend to rely on sacrifices and elaborate
rituals. Perhaps to compensate for this limit, they are able to combine their
powers and become Twinrova, wherein they share a slightly less ugly body with
the powers of both fire and ice. The secret to defeating the duo is using the
Mirror Shield to reflect their magic, sending their own attacks right back at
them.
They might not have Ganondorf’s genius, but they too do their fair share of
scheming. One of their smartest acts was to magically brainwash Nabooru, the
Sage of Spirit and leader of the resistance against Ganondorf, and imprison
her in Iron Knuckle armour. This essentially cut off the resistance movement
until Link was able to free her. What’s more, they are behind all the trouble
caused in the Oracle saga. By unleashing General Onox and Sorceress Veran,
their intent was to light three mystical flames: The Flame of Sorrow, the
Flame of Destruction, and the Flame of Despair. They succeeded in lighting
two of the three but required Zelda to light the third. After much struggle
they eventually did, freeing (or perhaps resurrecting) Ganon, which
unfortunately for them didn’t last long.
Though the real-world versions are fundamentally evil, their alternate-
universe counterparts in Termina are really just sweet old ladies. They run a
joint Potion shop in Southern Swamp, near the Woods of Mystery. Skull Kid
beats up Koume, but she returns to fighting form when Link brings her a Red
Potion. After that, she offers tours of the swamp in her boat.
=============================================================================
L a r u t o
Because you can never have too many Sages
Race: Zora
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Like Fado, this wise, motherly character was murdered by Ganondorf so that
she could no longer pray at the Earth Temple, which weakened the Master
Sword. As such, she teaches Link the Earth God’s Lyric, the first half of The
Wind Waker’s theme. When he conducts it for Medli, she awakens as a Sage and
realises her destiny. I quite like Laruto for some reason, maybe because Zora
are cool. Just in case you’re dense, I’ll take this opportunity to point out
how similar her name is to that of Ruto, Princess of the Zora people and Sage
of Water in Ocarina of Time. Also, off the top of my head I can think of only
three Zora who wear clothes, and Laruto is one of them.
=============================================================================
L e n z o
Legendary pictographer
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Majora’s Mask introduced us to the Picto Box, but The Wind Waker takes it to
new levels. To facilitate this, we have Lenzo, who lives on Windfall Island
and has dedicated his whole life to taking quality pictographs. He gives Link
his first pictograph machine, which can only take black-and-white
pictographs. A little later, Link can take on a somewhat lengthy side-quest
that ends with Lenzo shoving a fairy into his machine, creating the Deluxe
Picto Box, which is capable of taking colour exposures. Carlov will only be
inspired by a pictograph if it is in colour.
=============================================================================
L i b r a r i
Chapters
Race: Minish
Appearances: The Minish Cap
Book ‘im, Dan-o: Librari quite possibly taking the Zelda cake for idiotically
(criminally!) uncreative names. He resides in the Hyrule Town Library
performing the bookkeeping with a stylish white quill bigger than he is. He
is the focal point of a side quest that sees Link running all over town
collecting people’s overdue library books and returning them on their behalf.
In the aftergame, Librari tires of city life and relocates to a little cave
in Lake Hylia, where Link receives the Heart Container with the most complex
conditions of his career, requiring him to visit half the Minish in Hyrule.
Librari wears blue from hat to shoes, the customary clothes of a Town Minish.
He has a brother living in Minish Village, Gentari.
=============================================================================
L i g h t S p i r i t s
Baron Protectors
Race: Lesser Deities
Appearances: Twilight Princess
The patron deities of Twilight-era Hyrule, three of the spirits looked after
the main provinces, while the fourth watched over a prefecture just outside
of it. Each resides at a Spirit Spring, which restores Link’s health when he
walks through it. They are Ordona, Faron, Eldin, and Lanayru, after which
each of those provinces is named.
Notice each name is a derivative from the Three Goddesses – ORdona, FARon,
ElDIN, and LaNAYRU. Ordon is a goat, Faron is a monkey, Eldin is a boar, and
Lanayru is a snake. Zant reduced the latter three to mere shells when he
engulfed their respective regions in Twilight, but Link recovered their light
from the insects that were running around with it and in so doing restored
the spirits, allowing them to return light to their particular province.
=============================================================================
L i n d a
Desirable bachelorette
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
This Windfall Island native is apparently quite popular with the boys, as not
one but two young men fall madly in infatutation with her. The first is Kamo,
the local brooding persona non grata and her childhood friend who now wants
to be more than a friend, but isn’t man enough to do anything about it,
leaving her oblivious to his feelings. Meanwhile, Linda is taken with someone
else: Anton, Windfall’s studly power-walker. This somewhat slow fellow
mumbles to himself about needing a girlfriend, but finds himself unable to
think of any good candidates. If Link shows him a colour pictograph of Linda,
however, he’ll be struck with inspiration and resolve to ask her out, which
he subsequently does a few days later. You can find the lovebirds in Windfall
Cafe, where Linda will happily announce that the two are now Facebook
official and offer a less-than-subtle symbol of their affection, a Heart
Piece, as thanks for setting them up.
Her iconic orange dress was a gift from her best friend Sue-Belle, Sturgeon’s
daughter, who lived on Windfall before returning to Outset Island to care for
her ailing progenitor.
=============================================================================
L i n e b e c k
One-man crew
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
Aonuma is really on a roll. Actually, I should give that credit to his
character designers, but I don’t know any of their names, so I’ll just let
him soak it up, because in any case he’s been responsible for back-to-back
Zelda games that have introduced an incredibly cool character. Linebeck is
150 pounds of pure unadulterated awesome. (Contrast that to Midna’s 19 or so
pounds of pure unadulterated awesome.)
Linebeck adds some much-needed variety to the Zelda universe. Up to this
point we’ve largely been presented with romantic archetypes like the heroic
Link, or thoughtful townsperson, or unbearably evil Ganon. Only recently have
more rounded characters begun to show up, and Linebeck is our latest proof of
concept.
The rogue is dripping with more flavour than New York sirloin. Sarcastic,
narcissistic, and self-serving, he’s probably the most realistic character in
the entire series. He may not be as ruthless and vindictive as Midna or the
Three Goddesses, but he’s not exactly a great guy. It’s quite clear he has a
past, too, another rarity (I’m talking about Jolene specifically.) His entire
motivation for helping Link and Ciela, the fact that his actions may prevent
the ushering-in of an age of darkness notwithstanding, is that he views it as
an opportunity to get rich quick.
Yet at the same time, he also experiences some development. Initially, he
sees his travel companions as tools, many of their detours as irritants, and
the whole save-the-world thing as being quite taxing on his time. But by the
end, it’s clear they’ve grown close. He’s broadened his horizons, and come to
find worth in things he’d never before considered valuable. In the finale, he
even displays a bit of unprecedented heroism. And he does it all without
sacrificing what made him cool in the first place, or at least not entirely.
He’s visually different from basically every other character in the series,
as well. His disproportionate body, admiral’s coat, and deep bags under his
eyes give him a unique look. He’s also the only main character so far who’s
middle-aged – we see our young (usually very young) heroes, and our wise old
men and women, and our however-old villains, and Linebeck adds variety, like
I said earlier. On top of that, he’s always playing with some gadget or
another, a sea chart or his telescope or whatever.
He makes another first by being the only non-evil character besides Link to
venture into a dungeon alone. Of course, he almost immediately becomes stuck
and requires Link to rescue him, but I still thought it was cool.
Most of the time, though, he just stays with the boat. It could have to do
with the fact that he’s a bit of a coward (or, in my view, prefers to go
around problems instead of through them), but more likely it’s because he’s a
character who began life as a game mechanic. TWW solved some boat-related
design conundrums by making the boat alive; PH does it with Linebeck, whose
main purpose throughout the story (in addition to trading witty banter with
Ciela) is to operate his ship, the S.S. Linebeck, which he does from below as
Link stands on deck, manning its contraptions, watching the horizons and
charting a course. In fact, it’s a pretty sweet ride; Link should be glad to
have it at his disposal. Notably, there’s no sailing in PH, rather the S.S.
Linebeck is of course a S.teamS.hip, which is pretty interesting.
In fact, interesting sums up Linebeck himself quite well. Another good job,
Kyouto boys and girls!
=============================================================================
L i n e b e c k I I I
Manipulative merchant
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Spirit Tracks
Linebeck III’s introduction is so well done. We complete a dungeon and a new
spot opens up on the map; we go to investigate, not expecting anything more
special than a hint as to our new destination; and then BAM! Out of nowhere,
we have Linebeck, except with a really cool new hat. Basically a carbon copy
of the now dearly departed Linebeck from Phantom Hourglass, but somewhat less
sly and definitely less resourceful, Linebeck III (and presumably Linebeck
II?) is every bit as money-obsessed as his grandfather (come to think of it,
what fine lass did Linebeck settle down with, now?). Inanity aside, we
quickly find out that Linebeck knows a guy who can fix the bridge leading to
the Ocean Realm, but he owes a huge debt to him. It’s a problem, but Linebeck
I had the presence of mind to leave his grandson a Regal Ring if he were ever
in serious trouble; I’m guessing he had a more desperate situation in mind,
but Link braves the monsters and traps, recovers the ring, and offers it to
the Bridge Worker in place of Linebeck’s debt, which is really an awfully
good deal, because the Ring’s market value is almost twice as much as he
owed. That actually really annoyed me, it just seemed like such a waste.
Either way, after this, Linebeck’s Trading Post becomes available for
business. At what are, all things considered, very reasonable deals, Linebeck
will trade Rupees or Train Parts for Treasures. If you want to get the golden
set and thus have the maximum possible number of hearts, you’re going to have
to be either very dedicated or rather lucky, because although most people
have a majority of the Treasures they need, some are just really hard to come
by, requiring countless runs through the shooting gallery or what have you in
order to obtain the necessary items. This is also a great way to make money,
as you can easily make a run nearby Whittleton with your sword and Whirlwind
and find a whole ton of common Treasures that you can haul back for a super-
quick 50 Rupees each.
Late in the game, Link can undertake a sidequest that involves hauling Goron
special-crop Dark Ore from the eastern Fire Realm all the way to the Trading
Post. If he can manage to bring Linebeck a turn of 5 or more Dark Ore, which
he badly wants for research purposes, he’ll be rewarded with another batch of
Spirit Tracks.
=============================================================================
L i n k
Saviour of Hyrule
Race: Hylian
Appearances: All main-series Zelda games
Link’s Crossbow Training
Here he is: The main man of the Zelda series. Link, in his numerous
incarnations, has continually wielded items and weapons of great power and
ingenuity, vanquished evil, played countless mini-games and, above all,
guarded Hyrule from whatever danger it might face. He’s had various
companions and allies over the years, but operates largely alone, as a single
brave warrior standing against vastly greater odds. He’s a very romantic hero
in that sense.
Let’s talk about his signature garb. From day one, Link has worn his highly
identifiable green tunic. It has been a few colours; in Ocarina of Time,
differently coloured tunics had different magical properties, and in the Four
Swords series each player takes on a Link of varying tunic colours (including
a purple one for P4.) But most important is his headgear, a long green cap
that falls behind his head and ends in a point. Hmm – that was surprisingly
difficult to describe. Whatever, you know what it looks like. That cap is
like his calling card. In The Minish Cap, Ezlo just so happened to take that
form when he was transformed into a hat. Link is typically seen with a sword
and shield slung over his shoulders, as those are his preferred weapons in
combat. The Wind Waker marked the first time we saw Link without the
trappings of the green garb – he wore typical islander clothing for about two
minutes until he got the Hero’s Clothes, or for the whole game in the Second
Quest. In Twilight Princess, he begins with a cool ranch-hand costume, but
quickly moves on. The situation is somewhat similar in Spirit Tracks, where
he begins with the Engineer’s Uniform but is in his customary attire by the
time the adventure is underway (though he has the option of returning to the
new much later on.)
Link is altruistic by nature. Many times, he has faced seemingly
insurmountable challenges that taxed him in every way, simply because he knew
it was the right thing to do. Furthermore, he takes time out of his
imperative quests so that he may stop and assist people in their personal
lives. He has repaired relationships, elevated struggling businesses, turned
people away from lives of crime, delivered medicine to the ill and injured,
restored old glories’ confidence, comforted people in times of need,
befriended total strangers because they needed him to, saved quite a number
of people from being mugged by thieves or assaulted by monsters, and united
at least two couples. And that only scratches the surface. He does all this
without expecting any reward, and he often doesn’t get one – and that’s just
fine with him, because that’s how he is.
His destiny is irrevocably intertwined with that of Ganondorf, Zelda, the
Triforce, and the Three Goddesses. Again and again he has been reincarnated
to combat evil, wielding the Triforce of Courage. Nearly every time Ganondorf
has tried to conquer Hyrule, which would give him near-infinite power, Link
has stopped him at the last minute. Zelda has sought him out time and again,
understanding what must be done. His work will never be done until all evil
has been purged from the land.
Link is a smart little dude, and quite good with his hands. He seems able to
instantly master any tool or item he finds, even if he’s never seen one
before – the rhythms of Hookshots, Boomerangs, Bows, the reins of a horse,
Mole Mitts, and even musical instruments are all second nature to him. Though
he has, admittedly, had a few tutors, he seems almost supernaturally adept
with a sword, able to best exceptionally skilled swordsmen while having had
almost no formal training. He easily masters the Spin Attack, the hidden move
of the ancient Hylia, when only a handful of others have. This is a clear
indication of his intelligence – through careful observation and deductive
critical thinking, he is able to solve dungeon puzzles that would confound
the most logical mathematician.
Yet despite this intelligence, Link never seems to speak. Or if he does, his
dialogue is assumed, as many characters seem to respond to his ‘words,’ and
he is able to pass along information without banter. Obviously, this is a
holdover from early on in the video games industry when voice-overs weren’t
yet standard. In one interview, Miyamoto mentioned that one of the main
reasons Link didn’t have any dialogue in The Wind Waker despite the available
technology was that many people have imagined in their heads what his voice
would sound like, and he didn’t want to spoil it for them. I think it has
more to do with one of the stated key concepts behind Zelda: When you play a
Zelda game, you don’t play as Link, you actually _become_ Link, and giving
him overly much character would take away from that. (I think the developers
succeed at this goal.) Regardless, in more recent games Link has had a
collection of yells, squawks, grunts, and cries of pain to punctuate whatever
he’s doing.
Another quirk is his left-handedness. In a world filled with right-handed
characters, Link is a lefty. Did you know that, on average, right-handers
live eight years longer than left-handers? Or something like that. Anyway,
maybe I’m evil for saying that his left-handedness is a *quirk*, but you know
what I mean. Actually, there’s some evidence that he’s ambidextrous, though I
prefer left-handed to ambi. Fun fact: In the first and second Zelda games,
Link held his sword in his right hand when facing to the right. Why swap?
Official answer: Death Mountain is to the north, so he keeps his shield
toward it to fend off its evil energies. Real-world answer: Lazy programmers
have less work to do when they simply flip the sprite rather than drawing a
whole new one.
Link appears as one of the initial eight characters in Super Smash Bros, and
both he and Young Link (from Ocarina; YL is unlockable) come on out for
Melee. Both Link and Toon Link show up in Brawl. Link is a sub-par character
in all three, unfortunately, and Young Link is even worse. The fact is, Link
is just way too slow and laggy, and Young Link is too weak and light. Toon
Link is...halfway decent, actually, but still fairly lacking. They barely
ever see competitive play, but seem to show up an awful lot in casual games.
When they do take to the field, Link relies on his mildly powerful Smash
attacks and the good mid-range game that comes with his Bombs, Bow and
Boomerang. Three of Melee’s Event Matches are focussed on Link: One has Young
Link pitted against the superior Link, and another has Link against a black-
coated Level 9 Link CPU. Triforce Gathering, maybe my favourite Event Match,
has Link (player) and an idiotic Zelda on a team against Ganondorf.
That’s not his only fighting game appearance, however. Link was the GameCube-
exclusive character on Namco’s Soul Calibre 2. His story here is non-canon to
both Zelda and Soul Calibre, and is boring and uncreaive anyway. Opinions on
his power are mixed: I’ve heard both that he’s the most broken character in
the game, and that he’s the weakest. I know nothing about competitive SC so I
can’t speak to that, but I will vouch that I do all right with him and that
he looks pretty damn cool when the SC aesthetic is applied to him. Every
character in SC has buyable weapons that horrendously unbalance the game, and
Link gets a little trip down memory lane with everything from the Magic Sword
to the Megaton Hammer to the Mirror Shield. At least the boys and girls at
Namco took the time to do their research. I must also say that the movies
associated with Link are pretty neat, especially his Weapon Demonstration –
that is some seriously sweet stuff imho! It’s fun to see the sword techniques
that wouldn’t make sense in an adventure game.
Link is so legendary, many have seen fit to give him a cameo in their games –
which is only fair, really, considering stuff like the Mario paintings in
houses and Yoshi portrait in Hyrule Castle. Thinking back, in the original
Final Fantasy there was a cemetery in Elfland, where Link’s name appeared on
a headstone, but only in the Japanese version – due to licensing
restrictions, the text was changed to ‘Here lies Erdrick,’ as in the hero of
the Dragon Warrior series, for the NTSC version. I’m pretty sure he also
appeared as one of the characters playing an instrument in the credits of the
NES Tetris. He might also be in F-1 Race, but somehow I’m thinking he isn’t
(a little help, anyone?) I’m not a big fan of World of WarCraft, but one
quest in that game involves a green tunic-clad gnome named Linken, who is
trying to recover his Golden Flame or something – an obvious reference to the
Triforce. At the inn in Super Mario RPG, Link is seen resting up – after a
while, he checks out and Samus from Metroid takes his place. In Donkey Kong
Country, Cranky Kong rates DK at the end of the game based on his percentage
of completion; he is rated against three other heroes, and Rank C (C?? What
kind of Zelda-bashing bs is that!? ^_-) is Link. There’s yet more! In the
Kirby series, in every title after Kirby’s Adventure, when Kirby gained the
Sword ability he donned Link’s hat (with a yellow bobble on the end) and
wielded a caricaturized version of the Master Sword, Sword Beams and all. And
incidentally, the boss Paint Roller will sometimes sketch an image of the
Triforce.
=============================================================================
L i n k ’ s r e l a t i v e s
It’s all about family
Race: Hylians
Appearances: A Link to the Past
Ocarina of Time
The Wind Waker
The Minish Cap
Link is generally portrayed as a free-rollicking dude without any family to
tie him down. That doesn’t cheapen his intense loyalty, of course, since he
clearly values people like Saria. Anyway, a lot of fans assume that he and
Zelda get married, maybe in multiple incarnations, but this unlikely scenario
notwithstanding he actually has more rets than you might think.
Link’s uncle – He was so irrelevant, the devs never even bothered to give him
a name. That’s just as well. The moustachioed, blue-haired thug receives
Zelda’s telepathic cry for help in the night. Taking up the family sword, he
strides forth and is promptly killed by Moblins. Link, who also got the
message, comes upon his uncle as he dies and receives the sword from him.
Uncster’s famous last words were ‘Zelda is your...’ which a lot of people
took to be ‘Zelda is your sister,’ or any number of things, really. The
Japanese version tells us that it was actually supposed to be the somewhat
nonsensically phrased ‘Zelda is your destiny,’ but the last word got cut off
due to the size of the text box. He is revived at the end of the game as part
of Link’s wish to the Triforce.
Link’s mommy – Ocarina of Time’s manual explains that Link’s mom was attacked
and mortally wounded when he was only a few days old, but she managed to
stagger to the Great Deku Tree before dying. She pleaded with him to raise
Link among the Kokiri, which he did, knowing Link’s destiny.
Aryll – As one of two relative characters in The Wind Waker, Aryll really
pisses a lot of people off. They ask, Why does Link suddenly have a sister?
OMG IT MAKES NO CENSE!!!1 Well, she’s there, deal with it. She’s also quite a
sweet little girl who looks a lot like Zelda, and gets kidnapped in the
beginning of the game because of it. This sets the story in motion. On Link’s
first journey up the Forsaken Fortress, he almost rescues her but is captured
before he can. In the redux, Tetra’s pirates appear and whisk her off to
safety, along with Mila and Maggie. The latter two return home to Windfall
Island but Aryll stays with the pirates for the duration of the game. They
even pay her for the work she does on the ship. At the end of the game, she
watches sadly as Link sails away from Outset Island forever.
Grandma – For some reason, Grandma creates less waves than Aryll. Whatever.
She is responsible for giving Link the Hero’s Clothes, the family Hero’s
Shield, and batch after batch of hearty soup that is not only free, but the
most powerful potion in any Zelda game: It completely replenishes Link’s
health and magic, AND doubles his attack power until he’s struck. That’s
pretty awesome stuff. There’s a very emotional scene when she looks sadly out
to sea at the retreating stern of the pirate ship as Link heads off for the
Forsaken Fortress. She becomes despondent and depressed when Link leaves, but
a fairy cheers her up. Her figurine says she enjoys playing the occasional
prank on Link.
Smith – Link gets another uncle for The Minish Cap, who looks nothing like
the previous one. This guy is kinda cool because he was an accomplished
swordsman in his youth, fighting to a draw with King Daltus at the Picori
Festival. He spends most of his time in his and Link’s house, shaping steel
in the workshop.
=============================================================================
L i n k – g o r o
Mysterious doppelganger?
Race: Goron
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
No, YOU don’t know how to alphabetize.
Ocarina of Time featured a Goron named Link (or whatever you named yourself)
who was the apparently seven-year-old progeny of Big Brother Darmani, who
named him such in honour of his brotherly relationship with hero of the
Gorons and honoury Goron Link, who would later take the mantle of Hero of
Time and encounter his namesake, who explained that the race was again in
danger of extinction as the recently resurrected Alaskan firedragon Volvagia
had burninated half their home and kidnapped most of its inhabitants,
presumably for the purposes of storage and later consumption. To assist Link
in his quest to save everyone he’s ever loved, Link the Goron helpfully
provides the heat-resisting Goron Tunic, which is a lot more than other
charatcers do for Link when he’s trying to accomplish something similar.
Link-goro, however, is obviously quite different from this character (whom I
don’t feel like giving an entry and thus avoided doing so by halfheartedly
describing him in this one): Much older and worse-educated, some have
actually theorized that he is Link’s alt-world analogue. We’ve also done the
same for the Deku Butler’s son and Skull Kid, though, so the idea might not
hold that much weight, especially since it’s based on name only.
Link-goro’s main purpose is to have a name similar enough to Link’s that
scatterbrained hotel manager Anju mistakes the two and thinks that Link has a
reservation, which was made by Link-goro in advance of his arrival in Clock
Town. You can actually observe him and Anju having one of two conversations,
depending on whether or not you snagged the poor guy’s reservation already;
one simply has him happily take his room key and disappear into his room,
never to return. In the other, he and Anju try to figure out what happened,
but nothing can be done because the rooms are all filled (all three of them),
and it ends with Link-goro leaving sadly. And that’s about all he ever does.
Due to his tendency to wear clothing, Link-goro’s design is about a hundred
times more interesting than that of any other Goron. He has what TVtropes
would call a ‘badass hat,’ a stitched blue vest, and a whole ton of
traveller’s luggage riding around on his back, with the typical, you know,
like gigantic wooden garbage can type thing, on top of which is lashed a
rolled sleeping bag that he never actually uses, preferring to simply sit on
the ground. It rains on the 2nd Day, so he takes shelter under a canopy just
outside the inn. He also finishes every single sentence with ‘-goro.’
‘Really-goro?’ Also, I think he’s the single and only person in the world who
came to Clock Town as a tourist, which is odd since it’s supposed to be a
huge event. Ok fine, maybe the apocalypse resulted in a slightly lower
turnout than projected.
=============================================================================
L o k o m o s
Brand new dance
Race: Lokomos
Appearances: Spirit Tracks
As Link journeys around Hyrule, he must meet with the master of the Sanctuary
within each Realm in order to learn a new song for his Spirit Flute, which
restores the Spirit Tracks leading to the next Temple and thus grants access
his next destination. Locating and then satisfying the needs of each
successive guardian often entails a small quest in and of itself. Each Lokomo
including Anjean, he finds, rides around in a little bulbous putt-putting
hoverchair. They also all have names that are puns on elements of a train,
which is an extraordinary coincidence, really.
Gage - Guardian of the Forest Sanctuary, Gage proudly displays an afro, a
goatee and a cello. Appearing to be around 30 or so, he is by far the
youngest of the Lokomo we meet.
Steem – Snow Sanctuary Sage Steem sports a shamisen. The vainest of the
Lokomo, he is the only one who cares about his cave’s interior design, and
will later ask Link to deliver a Papuchia Village pot to liven the place up a
bit.
Carben – Flute-wielder Carben is the steward of the Ocean Realm and the
Lokomo with the most involved storyline quest. When Link and Zelda arrive at
his Sanctuary, they find a hastily written note explaining that he has
departed for Papuchia Village; backtracking, they find him flying in the sky
on the wings of some of the giant black birds who carry trapezes in their
talons. Learning the Song of Birds from a nearby Song Stone, Link uses it in
the vicinity to attract Carben’s attention and bring him down. After a short
chat, he agrees to return with them to Ocean Sanctuary, but on the way there
they are assuaged by Bokoblin pirates. Link leaps to the passenger car to
defend Carben from the would-be kidnappers, eventually taking down a huge,
club-wielding, hitstun-impervious Big Blin. With this defeat the pirates
withdraw and the trio continues to the Sanctuary.
Embrose – Doubtleslly the most passionate and hot-headed Lokomo in Hyrule,
Embrose bears a thin moustache, mountainous red hair, and a set of drums
recalling the Goron Bongos of Majora’s Mask.
Rael – Befitting his station as Sage of the Sand Sanctuary, Rael’s hair
resembles a Pharoahic headdress. Hidden deep in the desert, Rael may be the
most mysterious Lokomo of all; his desire for solitude and self-sufficiency
goes so far that he will later ask Link to bring him some Cuccos, that he may
start a farm or something. His oboe opens the way to the pyramidal Sand
Temple.
All six Lokomos make one final appearance midway through the final battle
with Malladus, joining in Link and Zelda’s would-be duet to lend a hand in
revealing the demon king’s weak spot. In the ending, they transform into pure
light and depart with Anjean and Byrne, their energy exhausted and their
purpose served.
=============================================================================
M a d a m e A r o m a
Dior
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
Kafei’s mother and Mayor Dotour’s wife, Clock Town’s First Lady takes a large
role in Termina’s day-to-day administration. She is almost only ever seen in
the day, in a side room at the Mayor’s Residence in East Clock Town, seeing
to appointments that are apparently backed up quite far. The situation is
only compounded by the upcoming Carnival of Time, which requires an insane
amount of organization what with all its various acts and activites and makes
her virtually unreachable; Toto waits for like three days straight before
being told he can’t get an audience with her, I believe.
She has no problem having a quick convo with Link, however, whom she asks, as
one might, if he has seen her missing son. If he has at this point, I
seriously doubt he recognized him, since he’d never met him before and
because the man-boy was dressed up as a magical fox. Well, she says sadly,
maybe you’ll keep an eye out for him, and also interrogate every single
person you meet as to whether or not they know what’s up. Sure thing. She
gives him the Keaton’s Mask in order to do this, apparently because Kafei is
indistinguishable in most Terminians minds from that beast. Well I mean like
I said, he WAS wearing a Keaton’s Mask of his own when in hiding so - hey
wait a second that’s the worst disguise ever. But isn’t it kind of cool to
see how they handle verbal communication with a character who never speaks?
Especially in this game, which also has Tatl. I also wouldn’t mind reading a
Majora’s Mask text dump at some point, some people have interesting things to
say about his disappearance. Later on in your quest to reunite Kafei and
Anju, you can find Madame Aroma in the Milk Bar waiting for everything to be
destroyed. She, uh, gives you an Empty Bottle.
Madame Aroma appears to be a very supportive mother and wife and seems to
heartily approve of her future daughter-in-law. And man, I never realised
until I wrote this entry what a subtly strong character she really is, wow.
That’s one reason I love writing this guide; I learn so much stuff about my
favourite series that I never knew before, just by thinking about it.
The woman is fairly plain-looking so even though I try to include at least a
cursory explanation of each character’s physical appearance, there’s not much
to say here even though I sort of feel like I should. She, uh, wears a dress?
And has purple hair, like Kafei.
=============================================================================
M a d a m e M e o w M e o w
Catlike dog-lover
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Madame MeowMeow is a resident of Mabe Village who keeps two small Chain
Chomps and one larger one in her backyard. The larger one is called BowWow,
and King Moblin kidnaps him when he raids Mabe while Link is in the Tail
Cave. Link rescues BowWow and returns him to Madame MeowMeow, who asks for
him to walk him – which works out nicely since the only way to enter Bottle
Grotto is to have BowWow eat the Goponga Flowers blocking its entrance.
=============================================================================
M a d B a t t e r
Soatome Ranma
Race: Batter
Appearances: A Link to the Past
Link’s Awakening
A clear reference to Alice in Wonderland’s Mad Hatter, the Mad Batter is a
nominally bat-like entity who hangs out in caves and the bottoms of wells.
After bashing your way into his home/prison with the Magic Hammer and
reanimating him with a shot of Magic Powder - which I realise is just a lazy
catch-all for use when it would be pointlessly complex to create a unique
gameplay solution, but seriously, that stuff is hardcore - the Mad Batter
springs to life, condemns you for waking him, and thanks for you waking him.
The whole thing is sort of like what happens when you wake a djinn up before
it’s been 1000 years. What, you never read that book? After a little internal
debate, he decides to unleash a horrific curse on you that effectively
doubles your Magic Metre (by making all spells cost half as much as they did
before, a state called 1/2 Magic.) He is nice about it, though, at least
having the good manners to ask your permission first. Indecision Incarnate
then calls for your eternal suffering before bidding you good day and taking
off to who knows where.
In Link’s Awakening his grip on reality isn’t much stronger. Once summoned to
one of three caves in Mysterious Woods, Martha’s Bay, and Tal Tal Heights by
means of tossing Magic Powder into a flame-maker, he will appear to accost
you with the ability to carry more of either Arrows, Bombs, or the Powder
itself. ‘Look at all that junk you have to carry!’
Hopefully the helpful malcontent will show his face again sometime.
=============================================================================
M a j o r a ’ s M a s k
Sealed demon lying in wait
Race: Demon
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
In ancient Termina, there was a monstrously evil entity known as Majora.
Majora was so powerful, it threatened to destroy the entire world. The most
powerful magicians of the time were able to contain it in a horned mask that
soon fell into legend. Majora’s Mask was enshrined so that it would never
again endanger the land, but one day a travelling mask salesman found it and
added it to his collection. He knew its power but thought he could handle it.
Unfortunately, one day a frustrated Skull Kid stole it and put it on. Majora
promptly possessed Skull Kid and used him as its puppet. Though still not at
full power, Majora wrought havoc on the Terminians and, working with the
Skull Kid’s ill intentions and granting his desire to cause everyone misery,
set the moon on a collision course with Clock Town that would wipe out the
whole land, not to mention its spawner, Hyrule.
Link eventually confronted it and expelled Majora’s Mask from Skull Kid, who
was proven to be just a puppet. Majora fled to the moon and created five
mask-wearing children. After Link had played with the Odoruwa Child, the Goht
Child, the Gyorg Child, and the Twinmold Child, he finally spoke with the
Majora Child, who was wearing Majora’s Mask. The Majora Child wanted to play,
too, but instead of hide-and-seek, like the rest of them, he wanted to play
good guys and bad guys. He gave Link the Fierce Deity’s Mask so he could be
the Bad Guy. In Kishin Link form, the Hero of Hyrule did battle with the
three-formed Majora’s Mask and defeated it with little trouble. Link returned
Majora’s Mask to the Happy Mask Salesman, as he had promised, but the
salesman mentioned that all power had been drained from the mask and it had
become just a piece of wood, though one with an exceptional history. What
happened to Majora...?
That’s how I understand Majora’s backstory, anyway. I had to piece some
things together without a lot of in-game clarity, but that’s about as
accurate as it gets, I think.
=============================================================================
M a k a r
Rebellious runaway
Race: Korok
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Of all the Great Deku Tree’s Koroks, Makar was always the most adventurous.
He was constantly running off and getting in trouble, leaving the other
Koroks to bail him out. Makar was a talented violinist (like his ancestor,
Fado) and was to be the centrepiece of the most important Korok festival,
but, while flying over the Forbidden Woods, was attacked by Helmarocs and
knocked into the lair of Kalle Demos. When Link reached the Forest Haven, he
was tasked with rescuing Makar. Later on, Makar is found practicing for next
year’s festival, already working on a new song. When Link plays the Wind
God’s Aria for him, he awakens as the new Sage of Winds and accompanies Link
to the Wind Temple. Here, Link can use the Command Melody to control Makar
for a while, using his ability to fly on petal props to hit switches and
whatnot. When Link defeats Molgera, Makar stays in the Wind Temple’s inner
sanctum to pray to the gods, finally restoring the Master Sword to full
power.
=============================================================================
M a k u T r e e s
Obvious tributes
Race: Maku
Appearances: Oracle of Seasons
Oracle of Ages
The Maku Trees figure into the Oracle saga pretty heavily. After all, the
Japanese games are called ‘Nut of the Mysterious Tree,’ and said nut appears
in the logo. The purpose of this nut is to dispel the barrier blocking access
to the final boss; it grows larger and larger as Link recovers the Essences
of either Nature or Time, and falls to the ground when he gathers all eight.
Both of them open up paths as Link collects Essences, which lead to minor
rewards like Gasha Seeds. They are also both home to Farore, the Oracle of
Secrets. The Maku Trees are pretty obvious tributes to the Deku Tree from fan
favourite Ocarina of Time, in that both are wise, giant trees. All three have
fallen under a curse, too, and are near death when Link finds them. They’re
far from carbon copies, however.
Oracle of Seasons’ male Maku Tree mostly just sleeps, waking only when Link
pops his snot bubble. At this point he gives him a clue on where the next
dungeon is located before drifting off again. Ages’ much livelier Maku Tree
is female and is seen in two forms: Her full-size present day one, and as a
mere sprout 400 years in the past. Link saves her from marauding Moblins in
the past, when she makes him promise to come back someday and marry her.
Okay, Link has been the object of infatuation for fish-girls, ectoplasmic
entities and enormous old women, but a tree is pretty out there. Ages’ Maku
Tree is significantly younger and smaller, and even girlish at times.
=============================================================================
M a l l a d u s
Malcontentious
Race: Demon
Appearances: Spirit Tracks
The Link and Zelda of The Wind Waker and Phantom Hourglass can’t have been
too pleased when they reached their new home. First Hyrule is drowned by the
gods because they couldn’t think of a better way to keep Ganondorf in check –
to say nothing of the fact that _it didn’t even work_ - but they are then
tasked with leaving everything behind and going to search for a new one,
because the king said it would probably be a good idea if they would do that.
Then they finally reach the new Hyrule, and what do they find? It’s in the
grip of a Demon King, and they’re going to have to rid the land of his
influence. Like, ugh, didn’t we just do this?
Twice?
Fortunately, this time they have at their disposal Anjean, who helps them
with her miraculous magic. Together, they seal Malladus beneath the surface
of Hyrule, binding him with...train tracks, which are built to run across the
entire country. And their users regulate themselves, meaning that accidents
must be incredibly frequent. Anyway, Malladus continues on like this for
about a century (which must be incredibly aggravating, just sitting there
doing nothing, ever, for decades, but maybe time has a bit of a different
meaning when you’re immortal), at which point a lesser demon, Cole, and his
follower, Byrne, manage to cut the ties that bind and release Malladus from
his prison. Byrne leaps in front of Cole, eager to offer his allegiance in
exchange for a slice of Malladus’s power, but he is apparently much more
choosy than that. In spite of his already immense power, Byrne was once
Lokomo, so he can screw right off. Ouch. Cole and Malladus take off for the
Dark Realm aboard the Demon Train, with a view to gathering their strength,
and the opposing crew scrambles to mount a counteroffensive.
Eventually, they pursue them into the ephemeral otherworld, and after first
tangling with the Demon Train and then fighting Cole atop it, Link and Zelda
brace themselves for a battle with the giant bull. Zelda, fortunately, has an
idea for how to deal with the threat, but the move takes like five minutes to
charge up. Link’s task, therefore, is to ward off the fireballs that home in
on her as she prepares her spell. If she’s struck at all, Link will take some
damage in her stead and she’ll be forced to start over. When the spell does
go off, Malladus is momentarily addled, and the princess prompts Link to whip
out his Spirit Flute and play a tune with her. THIS spell summons Anjean and
the other Lokomo, who in turn highlight Malladus’s only weak spot. Link
charges in and barrages it with sword strikes, following which Malladus gets
angrier and eats Cole, granting him even greater power, wicked horns, and a
moustache. Later on, he does the same thing to Byrne; what a glutton. At any
rate, this is the fun part. Once again directing the actions of both Link and
Zelda in concert, the object here is, either by walking Zelda to an
advantageous spot or distracting Malladus with Link’s sword, to position
Zelda behind Malladus so that she can shoot him in his vulnerable spine with
the Bow of Light. Missed shots will cost some time as she readies another
magically infused arrow. When she gets a hit, Link can once more rush in and
go to town on the glowing ulcer. Ultimately, Malladus can only take so much
of this and is reduced to a snivelling wisp before being banished from the
world forever. Truly another great battle from Spirit Tracks; counting the
business with the Demon Train and Cole, it more or less combines every major
gameplay element from the entire rest of the adventure, and has quite
possibly the widest variety of activities I’ve ever seen in one battle. The
killing blow is quite satisfying, as well, being a nice big super-stabby
light show that has the added bonus of requiring player input. Very nice.
=============================================================================
M a l o n a n d T a l o n
Just farmers
Race: Hylians
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
Oracle of Seasons
Four Swords Adventures
The Minish Cap
These two characters get listed by name even though they find their origins
in two others. That’s not really fair, is it? Then again, neither is
Nintendo’s treatment of Marin and Tarin, though they technically never
existed.
Now here’s an interesting paradox: All the things in Koholint Island are
references to something else, mostly to the first three Zelda games and the
Mario series. Yet Marin and Tarin’s ‘real-world’ counterparts weren’t
invented until the following game in the series. A little backwards.
Now that we’ve gotten severely off-track, let me further remind you that
Marin is actually a reference to Zelda. Weird. Metaphysical conundrums aside,
Marin is the one who finds Link unconscious on Toronbo Shores and drags him
off to her house in Mabe Village. Her father, Tarin, finds Link’s shield and
gives it to him as he leaves – Tarin is referential to Mario, given the red
shirt and blue overalls, moustache, and love of mushrooms. Marin is musically
inclined and makes friends easily, even having some among monsters. Neither
Marin nor Tarin is static – both are constantly travelling around the island,
and both of them help Link out several times. Notably, there is a period
where Link finds Marin in Animal Village and she follows him around for a
while, ending in a beachfront ‘date’ of sorts. Here, Marin tells Link that
despite how much she loves Koholint, she would love to see life outside it –
she dreams of becoming a seagull and flying away forever. When you beat the
game, the ‘The End’ screen shows a seagull flapping around, implying that she
may really have gotten her wish – or if you beat it with zero deaths, you’ll
see Marin with wings. Hmm.
They reappear right away, as owners and operators of Lon Lon Ranch, where
they raise Lon Lons, Cuccos, and horses. Child Link learns Epona’s Song from
her, which he uses to good effect later on. Talon is quite lazy and does
almost no work, leading an increasingly disgruntled Ingo to eventually take
over the ranch with Ganondorf’s help. He forces Malon to work there against
her will, threatening to mistreat the horses if she doesn’t. When Link wins
Epona from Ingo, Talon is inspired to take back the ranch, but it’s not all
conflict: Talon and Ingo become best friends and drinking buddies. At this
point, Malon also opens an obstacle course that Link and Epona can try. If
you look at Malon in first-person view at this time, you’ll notice she’s
blushing, leading me to believe she has quite a crush on him.
By the way, Talon and Ingo are allusions to Mario and Luigi from the Mario
Bros series of games. Both look a little like their counterparts in regards
to body type, shirt colour and moustache style, and both they and Malon wear
gold brooches that resemble the face of Bowser, the Mario Bros’ arch-nemesis.
Since Malon appeared as both a child and an adult in Ocarina, she had two
polys, both of which were reused for Majora’s Mask. When Skull Kid kidnaps
Epona at the beginning of the game, she ends up at Romani Ranch. Romani is
young Malon, while Cremia is the older one. Cremia tends the cows and
produces Milk for the members-exclusive Milk Bar, owned by Mr Barten – that
is, Termina’s version of Talon. Romani spends all of the First Day training
with her bow for that night’s alien invasion, which she knows is coming
tonight since it comes on the same day every year. With Link’s help, she
might fend off the aliens; otherwise, they accidentally abduct her along with
the cows, then spit her out, and she spends the duration of the next two days
acting really, really strung out.
Malon usually seems to be pretty good at what she does, but not so much in
Oracle of Seasons, where Link gives her a book about tending Cuccos so she
can learn. In return, she gives him the only thing she can think of, which is
a beauty product called a Lon Lon Egg. This is part of the trading game,
which Talon also figures into; late in the game Link finds him in a mountain
cave. He gives him, surprise, a Mushroom.
In the Hyrule Field level of Four Swords Adventures, the Links find Malon
under siege by Hyrule Castle soldiers and desperately trying to get back to
her house. They escort her through the hostile territory to a grateful Talon.
Both of them also have minor roles in The Minish Cap, but they are so
forgettable I can hardly remember what they’re there for. A reader tells me
Malon sells Lon Lon Milk for 10 Rupees, and that you need to give Talon the
Spare Key in order to enter the Ranch at Hylian size (because, as I recall,
Talon managed to lock himself out.) Later, they open up a shortcut to Lake
Hylia.
=============================================================================
M a m a
World Kitchen
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Minish Cap
Sit down, take a load off. Mama’s Cafe is the best place in town to grab a
mocchachino latte espresso, or just take in the latest news from local
streetears while waxing philosophic. The eponymous Mama, master chef,
gardener and Economical Shopper, presides over the place with warmth, love
and a willingness to fuse Kinstones whenever the mood so strikes you.
=============================================================================
M a m a m u Y a n
Perfumed proprietor
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Majora’s Mask
I assume she was also in Ocarina of Time, but if she was she strikes me as a
one-glance sideswipe Hyrule Castle Town market-dweller that nobody cared
about, so screw that noise.
The one we’re talking about runs the Dog Races at the far end of the field
within Romani Ranch. Ugh, dogs. Plump and passionate, she will let you wager
a few Rupees on the outcome of the sprint; if the runt you selected comes in
first, you’ll snag a Heart Piece, with subsequent placings offering Rupee
rewards. Although it might seem like your success or failure is pure luck, in
actuality there is a trick, very well-known by now, that sees you wearing the
Mask of Truth and noting the dog’s reaction when you pick it up. If I recall
correctly, ‘Ruff’ means it will place well, ‘Rr-ruff’ means it has a chance
of doing sort of well, and ‘Whimper’ means it will perform poorly.
By the way, ‘Is that doggy fine?’ is the single most awkward translation in
the entire series. Going by the English I can only assume the original was
‘sono wan-chan de iin desu ka?’ in which case they’d have done better to just
plain switch it around to ‘Is that the doggy you want?’ Translation fidelity
is a little less important in a purely text-based format than in, say, a
live-action drama, where the original dialogue is audible and inaccurate
translations are liable to irk speakers of the language in question.
=============================================================================
M a n b o
Ride with Frogmaster Fl...no?
Race: Frog or something
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Man, I first played Link’s Awakening when I was a little kid and brand-new to
video games, so I didn’t get any of the references. I can only appreciate
them now, looking back on the game and doing research for this guide. I’m
referring to the fact, of course, that Manbo is the LA incarnation of Wart
(or Mamu), the big bad guy from Super Mario Bros. 2 of all the random things.
He’s sort of this big cross-eyed frog monster who wears a fur-lined cape and
a crown, because he’s the king of Subcon. On Kohlint Island, he’s king of the
Signpost Maze. He challenges Link to navigate it, which is the easiest thing
ever, because all it requires him to do is follow the directions on a
succession of signposts without accidentally reading any of the wrong ones.
When he makes it through, Manbo teaches him Manbo’s Mambo, probably the most
useless song in the game, although I guess it comes in handy from time to
time: It allows instant teleportation to the pond next to Crazy Tracy’s
house. After teaching him the song, Manbo and his frog retainers celebrate
with an exhilarating dance.
=============================================================================
M a n o f S m i l e s
Prospective Joy Luck Club chairman
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
Here we have an unsettlingly happy man who floats aimlessly in his boat in
the northeastern quadrant of the sea, apparently sending out postcards to all
those in need of a little cheer. When Link encounters him, his vessel has
been overrun by the forces of evil, and he implores Link to rid him of their
danger. Thus liberated, he introduces himself as the Man of Smiles, probably
not his real name, and offers Link either a normal prize or a mysterious
prize; if he chooses the mysterious prize, he’ll just say what the heck and
hand over both. One item is a simple Treasure Map, but one is the Hero’s New
Clothes, which kicks off the Trading Game. Every time Link re-enters the
boat, the Man of Smiles is once again up to his suspenders in monsters, and
he can clear the place out over and over again in order to earn Prize
Postcards. In spite of the suspicious nature of his whole deal, it seems that
all the Man of Smiles really wants is to bring happiness to people
everywhere.
=============================================================================
M a p l e a n d S y r u p
Always two there are: A master, and an apprentice
Race: Hylians
Appearances: A Link to the Past
Oracle of Seasons
Oracle of Ages
Four Swords Adventures
The Minish Cap
Syrup is a wizened old hag who knows her magical art well and wastes most of
it making Potions. Maple is her teenage granddaughter who is supposedly
learning that art. Both wear the trappings of their trade (a pointy hat and
blue robes), but only Syrup ever does any work. Maple would much rather spend
her free time on something interesting; specifically, in the Oracle saga she
zooms around the countryside on her broom, colliding with innocent
bystanders. Each of the pair helps Link gain items, however, be it a life-
restoring Potion or rarities like Rings. After their first few races, Maple
gains a vacuum to help her gather more loot faster. In a linked game, she
upgrades to a flying saucer. (...) Maple makes a resurgence in Four Swords
Adventures, having once again screwed up: She’s accidentally shrunk some poor
guy’s house, and needs Link to fetch the Spell Book to reverse it (the reward
being a Heart Container from its occupant.) In The Minish Cap, Syrup’s Wake-
Up Mushroom allows Link to get the Pegasus Shoes from the sleepy shoemaker.
cornishpete has this to add:
‘just one little correction about Syrup the witch.
‘She also appears in the minnish cap, her home is tucked away in the northern
end of minnish woods. (you have to go in via the route to the mayors cabin
and take a slight detou)
‘she plays a similar role as she has before in dealing with potions. you can
buy either a red potion, or, after the correct kinstone fusion, a blue
potion.
‘maple, for some reason, is nowhere to be found.’
=============================================================================
M a s t e r E d d o
Bomb-builder
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
Master Eddo hangs out in his garage on Cannon Island, from where he
meticulously constructs the finest of hand-made Bomb-firing cannon. He excels
in creating other ship accessories as well, namely his pet project the
Salvage Arm, which allows seagoers to drag up treasure boxes from the ocean
floor. It pays for itself in no time. Master Eddo occasionally engages in the
odd practice of pricing his merchandise based on how loudly and clearly his
customer can yell, although his apprentice claims that snapping one’s fingers
works just as well. I suggest clapping. Now let me shout and wake you up, let
me wake you up! But I have to wonder how he gets any work done when he’s
needing to use a cane and one of his arms is a mountain of bandages. And by
the way, how the heck did he sustain those injuries??
=============================================================================
M a s t e r S t a l f o s
Bag of bones
Race: Stalfos
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Master Stalfos is the mini-boss of Catfish’s Maw, really noteworthy only
because he does for Stalfos what the Helmasaur King did for Helmasaurs.
Furthermore, there have only been a few genuine sword-versus-sword duels in
the whole Zelda series, which is surprising, really, but Master Stalfos
claims one of them. Quite simply, all Link had to do was avoid his potent
sword strikes, hit him a few times with the sword, which would cause him to
temporarily crumble into a pile of bones, and then lay a Bomb on him. Link
battled him on four separate occasions in four separate rooms. After their
fourth showdown, Master Stalfos blew up for good and spat out the Hookshot.
=============================================================================
M a y o r B o
The Strongarm Mayor
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
Mayor Bo takes care of many of the day-to-day happenings of Ordon Village,
overseeing work details, solving minor disputes, and lending his own raw
physical power wherever it’s needed. We meet the horn-moustachioed mayor
almost immediately, stopping to chat with him as we go to rendezvous with
Fado in the fields, but our conversation is interrupted by the charge of an
escaped pow, who, unless we’re on our second playthrough or higher and are
expecting it, knocks us flat on our backs and runs off for parts unknown,
necessitating a search party named Bo. Not long after, when his daughter Ilia
is kidnapped and his home besieged by twilight, the devastated man maintains
enough consitution to organize the town defence, which largely consists of an
incapacitated swordsman and a scrawny old guy standing on top of a post
holding a bow, but he worked with what he had.
Bo’s past is surprisingly fleshed-out. With the death of his wife some years
ago, presumably of illness, he has been left to care for his daughter by
himself, raising her to be a strong and independent young woman. He also has
some kind of history with the Gorons, having once been a prize sumo wrestler
with the help of his magnificent muscles and a pair of Iron Boots he somehow
acquired. In the act of defeating their Big Brother and yokozuna, Bo gained
the respect of the Gorons and, if Ocarina of Time is any indication, probably
became an honourary Goron himself. I mean technically he cheated, but who
cares. He passes the package onto Link when the hero himself is tenaciously
trying to win Goron enclave-entrance.
=============================================================================
M a y o r D o t o u r
The Freezing Mayor
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
Given the fact that a huge celestial object will soon crash into his town and
destroy the entire country in which it sits, one would imagine Mayor Dotour
has more pressing concerns than wading through bureaucracy. And yet there he
is, 24/3 for as long as you let it go on, sitting in a pointless meeting with
the Captain of the Guard and the Chief Carpenter, the former of whom
advocates evacuation, the latter, stalwartness in the face of a little
apocalypse. The entire discussion is moot, of course, because neither plan is
going to work. Dotour contributes by mumbling something noncommittal every
now and then. Oh, and by the way, this entire time, he’s distracted by the
fact that his only son has mysteriously disappeared just days before his own
wedding (and yet he somehow knows exactly where he’s hiding out, and hasn’t
done anything about it whatsoever...yeah.) Ugh, think there might be better
ways for old Dotour to be spending his time? Well, if you walk into chambers
and whip out the Couple’s Mask, which has the power to calm arguments, the
offending parties will realise that their argument completely misses the
point, and they will decide that the decision of whether or not to flee
should be up to everyone to make for him or herself. Dotour will give you a
Heart Piece in gratitude. And...that’s about all he ever does. Oh no wait! He
also has an odd moustache. A purple one, no less.
Common convention as far as this guide is concerned would usually dictate
that I put Mayor Dotour and Madame Aroma in the same entry. I didn’t.
Mindgames.
=============================================================================
M a y o r H a g e n
The Crystal Mayor
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Minish Cap
Even though Daltus himself happens to live right in the very heart of Hyrule
Castle Town, he has another official entirely to take on civic
responsibilities while he handles the national ones. Smart guy; knows how to
delegate, and doesn’t take on too much by himself. This decision does,
however, provide some evidence against the democratic model, because the guy
who makes it into office is not only paranoid but somewhat incompetent. Mayor
Hagen, whose name always makes me think of Hagen-Daazs ice cream, is notable
for doing little or nothing to address the settlement’s housing crisis while
maintaining a residence right in the centre of town complete with not only a
basement (multi-story homes being a rarity in the Zeldaverse) but a series of
secret passages as well, for use as escape routes in the case of an attack.
That’s pretty smart, I guess; embassies might do well to imitate him. And his
constituents do seem relatively satisfied, except for Din, Nayru and Farore,
who end up having to look to Link for help. The bespectacled vest-wearer has
a deep interest in masks, both collecting them and even making a few himself.
His house is infested with Minish, but whose isn’t in that game. He also owns
a waterfront cabin at Lake Hylia. Remind me where our taxes go again?
=============================================================================
M a y o r P l e n
The Silver Mayor
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Oracle of Ages
Lynna City’s mayor is also an ardent fan of its history, going as far as to
mention to new visitors that it was once called Lynna Village, even though
that pretty much goes without saying, and is a completely useless piece of
information regardless. Like most mayors presented here, he served Link only
by giving him something, in this case the gift of not getting angry when the
hero steals his Seed Ring. Supposedly, Mayor Plen looks like Luigi. What,
Ingo wasn’t enough?
Know what, I picked the ‘Silver’ title because I wanted to work in a
reference to Bishoujo Sailor Moon’s Silver Millennium, but it stopped working
when I remembered that the Silver Millennium is in the future, not the past,
and His Worship Plen holds court in the present.
=============================================================================
M a y o r R u u l
The Sewing-Life Mayor
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Oracle of Seasons
Horon Village’s mayor is also an ardent fan of Gasha Seeds, going as far as
to keep a square of soft earth in his home specifically for the purpose of
sowing them. Like most mayors presented here, he served Link only by giving
him something, in this case the first Gasha Seed in the game and, ipso facto
and by proxy, the Gasha Ring. See what I did with these entries? You know,
because the Oracle titles are sister games. Doesn’t have a thing to do with
me being lazy and uninspired, definitely not. Hey! Spring of Trivia, at least
the blurb under Ruul’s name makes sense without brutally stretching the
limits of believability, which is more than can be said for most of the other
mayors here.
If I recall correctly, Ruul Villa was a place in Link’s Awakening.
Supposedly, Mayor Ruul looks like Mario. What, Talon wasn’t enough?
This ends our series on Hylian government.
=============================================================================
M e d l i
Fine feathered friend
Race: Rito
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Young Medli is just coming into her own as attendant to Valoo, the deity of
the Rito. Link encounters her early in the game; she is the key to the first
dungeon, in fact. At the beginning of the game, her wings aren’t entirely
developed yet, so she needs Link to throw her up to a high ledge. (It took me
almost ten minutes to do this.) She becomes a much more accomplished flier
later on, able to flap around on her own for surprisingly long periods of
time, and even carry Link for short distances. When Link learns the Earth
God’s Lyric from Laruto and plays it for Medli, she awakens as the Sage of
Earth. She and Link work together to conquer the Earth Temple. After Link
defeats Jalhalla, Medli stays in the inner sanctum to pray to the gods, the
act of which restores the Master Sword to half-strength. Medli is a motherly
figure to Komali, comforting him now that his actual mother is gone. Despite
her role as a mother figure, he is in love with her, though it seems he never
has the courage to say it. Medli, in turn, appears to have a crush on Link,
but never says it.
=============================================================================
M e l a r i
Whistle while you work
Race: Minish
Appearances: The Minish Cap
Melari and his seven apprentices collectively form the Mountain Minish.
Smithing is their entire lives; they are wholly devoted to their trade. Link
and Ezlo visit Melari’s Mines, which is basically a depression in the ground
near the top of Mt Crenel, shortly before entering the Cave of Flames. They
make their home there in order to be closer, both physically and spiritually,
to the ore they mine and shape. Just prior to scaling Mt Crenel, the duo
recovered the mythical Picori Blade. Melari and two of his apprentices work
hard and re-forge the shattered blade into one piece. Unfortunately, though
Melari can repair the steel he is unable to fix its magical deficiencies, so
Link must look elsewhere. Melari and his apprentices constantly sing the
‘Ting Tong Song’ as they work.
=============================================================================
M e r m a n
ANOTHER talking fish
Race: Fish
Appearances: The Wind Waker
I don’t believe this little guy’s name is ever actually given, but one source
calls him Merman, so that’s good enough for our profiling purposes. If you
have no idea what I’m talking about, Merman is the bluish little talking fish
who sort of resembles a flat-faced Aboriginal drawing of a salmon. Link and
King of Red Lions first encounter him at Dragon Roost Island. From here on
out, anytime Link gets his attention with some All-Purpose Bait he will fill
in another square of Link’s Sea Chart and give him a little information about
the appropriate island.
There are a few interesting things of note about Merman. Most obviously, when
King of Red Lions first speaks with him he claims that he has ‘paid off his
debt.’ That tells us the two knew each other, and that Merman knows the truth
about Hyrule and whatnot. Whatever Daphnes did for Merman, it must have been
pretty small if he considers drawing in one square on some stranger’s Sea
Chart having paid it off – or else Merman is cheap that way, or yet again
he’s helping Link more than we realise. He also says that he ‘can’t go
fighting evil on an empty stomach,’ implying that he is active in his
opposition of Ganondorf. Quite what influence he might exert is beyond me.
Finally, his comment at Rock Spire Island implies a past relationship with
Gillian, the barmaid at Windfall Island’s tavern – moreover, Gillian’s
figurine states that she used to have a boyfriend, but that info is TOP
SECRET!! So either Merman used to be a human, or Gillian is into fish. You be
the judge, I guess.
=============================================================================
M i d n a
Eponymous awesomeness
Race: Twili
Appearances: Twilight Princess
Midna is the deposed leader of the Twili and one of the coolest characters to
come around in a long while. When the game’s title was first announced, many
of us followed this logic: Hyrule - Twilight Realm - Zelda, Princess of
Hyrule...Zelda must be the Twilight Princess! (It’s the first game since the
original that’s actually referenced Zelda herself!) Others looked at the logo
and inferred that its similarity to Midna’s hat must mean SHE was the
Twilight Princess. The latter group was correct.
Since the basic controls and concepts of the game are created before anything
else, it’s my guess that Midna was a mechanic long before she became a
character. After all, there are certain things wolf-form Link simply can’t do
on his own, like open doors or scope out narrow ledges. Plus, we need an ally
for this game.
Midna fits all these roles like a glove that’s the right size. She has a
little stub of cel-shaded hair protruding from under her helmet, which she
can form into a giant hand that manipulates objects and tracks targets. Midna
is also this game’s Navi, though she doesn’t offer help with enemies;
instead, she mostly instructs Link on where to go next, although she does
reprise Navi’s function of helping the player with puzzles that would take
them time to figure out on their own.
And of course, she plays a vital part in the story. Much as the natural races
of Hyrule have their own individuals destined to affect its historical
landscape, so too do the Twili have a single rightful ruler. The Twili lost
their previous king due to his own greed. As it turns out, Midna is the one
destined to take over the reigns and continue with her people on their road
to prosperity, but she kind of fails to pick up the slack. Zant declares
himself the Twili’s new ruler and tries to gain her endorsement. Failing at
that, he transfigures her and kicks her out.
In her natural form, Midna is a grey-skinned, long-haired, beautiful woman.
When Zant transforms her, she becomes a grey-skinned, long-haired, ‘decrepit
little imp,’ to use her words.
Crippled but hardly out of commission, Midna goes into hiding and searches
for a way to reclaim her throne. She finds it when Link is hauled into the
Twilight Realm and is transformed into a wolf by its power. The light world
may know him as the Hero of Hyrule, but the Twilight Realm has a similar
legend, one which states a sacred beast will rescue their world from the
brink of destruction. She follows the shadow beast who captures Link and then
springs him from his cell. After they have a brief meeting with Zelda, Midna
is able to convince Link that he needs her help to save his world.
They forge an alliance and set to work. Midna’s primary goal is to seek out
the ancient Fused Shadows. She wields the most powerful magics of her people,
but these relics will increase her power expontentially. This conveniently
allows the pair to work towards their individual goals simultaneously,
because recovering the Fused Shadows requires restoring light to the three
provinces of Hyrule that have so far fallen under Twilight.
When they finally gather all three, their victorious partying proves
premature. Zant immediately swoops in on them and tosses them aside,
wondering how they could possibly have hoped to defeat him with such pitiful,
withered magic. He returns twilight to Lanayru province and taunts the duo
for a while, then dispels it, exposing Midna’s physical body to direct light.
Before, she had only taken immaterial shape in the light world by
commandeering Link’s shadow for brief periods, but now she was actually being
struck by sunbeams. Her condition deteriorates quickly and Link, stuck as a
wolf, struggles to restore her.
He finds Zelda who, despite Midna’s protests, seemingly sacrifices her own
life to save Midna’s by transferring her life force to her. And because Zelda
is from the light world, this allows Midna to now take form in the light
unharmed. With newfound control over his wolf form and a new goal, Link
tracks down the four shards of the Mirror of Twilight under Midna’s
instruction.
Midna explains that the Mirror of Twilight is the single link the Goddesses
left between the light world and their realm of exile, the Twilight.
Furthermore, only the rightful ruler of the Twili can destroy it; since Zant
was only able to break it into pieces, he is undisbutably NOT the true king.
Anyway, they use this portal to disappear into the nether, where they storm
the Palace of Twilight. Paradoxically, Link is able to use the palace’s own
power to infuse the Master Sword with pure light, which easily vanquishes
Twilight denizens. After a skirmish with Zant, Midna reclaims the Fused
Shadows and kills him, though he is quickly reborn thanks to Ganondorf’s
powers.
So, I guess it’s time to go after Ganondorf then. After the Twilight dropped
from Lanayru Province, a huge magical pyramid was erected around Hyrule
Castle. With her new powers, Midna transforms into a giant spider-thing and
shatters it. They climb to the top and square off with Ganondorf, who
possesses Zelda’s body. After Link forces him out of it, Zelda’s soul exits
Midna and returns to its rightful body. Following this, Midna helps Link
figure out how to beat Ganon transformed, and then teleports the two Hylians
out of the Castle as it crumbles. She then attempts to kill Ganondorf once
and for all, but is overcome. Even against the incredible Fused Shadows,
Ganondorf comes out on top.
But after Link finishes him off, he finds Midna still alive, and returned to
the body she was born in. Their quest was long and they’ve grown close, but
it’s time for her to return to the Twilight Realm to guide her people. They
say they’ll see each other again, but Midna is crying...and at the last
minute, Midna takes one of her own shed tears and propels it at the Mirror,
shattering it instantly and wiping it off the face of the earth. Light and
darkness will never meet again. This move caught me totally off-guard and so
I found it rather striking and emotionally charged. We’ll miss you, Midna.
(...until we see you again in the Wii-exclusive direct sequel that will come
out around 2009-2010.)
Midna’s voice is pretty damn awesome. She has TONS AND TONS of dialogue. It’s
sort of random in that she says different things when the same text appears,
and of course there is no rhyme or rhythm to it – it’s just a bunch of funny
sounds her VA made up, probably on the spot, or else it was run through a
synthesizer. It’s still quite awesome though, and manages to convey a
definite sense of foreigness. Speaking of her VA, does anybody know the
lady’s name?
Another one of the coolest things about Midna is her drive. Not only is she
sassy as she single-mindedly strives to strike down Zant, but she is one of
the only egotistical, self-serving characters to receive a prominent role.
She’s quite honest about it too: She explains on numerous occasions that she
doesn’t care about the light world and is only looking after the interests of
her own. Yet still there is some character development, as she slowly grows
fond of the Hyruleans and comes to realise that the darkness and the light
unknowingly depend on each other. Also, in the beginning she has a decidedly
negative opinion of Zelda ruling a nation, but in time she grows to
understand that Zelda is really doing the best she can, and is deserving of
her respect.
Whoever came up with Midna certainly has mine.
=============================================================================
M i d o
Boss of the Kokiri
Race: Kokiri
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Mido would have us believe that he is much more important than he actually
is. Mido calls himself the Boss of the Kokiri, and he really is one of the
most competent, but nobody really recognizes him by that title. Link spent
much of his early years being bullied by Mido, mostly because the latter was
jealous of his friendship with Saria, whom Mido apparently has a crush on.
Mido is one of the largest Kokiri and has no scruples about throwing his
weight around; despite orders from the Great Deku Tree himself, Mido won’t
even let Link meet with the deity at first. Later, when Link returns to
Kokiri Forest in adult form, Mido doesn’t even recognize him until he plays
Saria’s Song. In the ending credits, when the Kokiri leave the forest, Mido
is the first who dares to venture beyond that boundary into the unknown.
=============================================================================
M i k a u
Avid partier
Race: Zora
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
In addition to being one of the Zora’s most proficient warriors, Mikau is a
rocking guitar player and plays lead gat on the Indigo-Gos. Apparently, he is
romantically and physically involved with Lulu. Despite being a skilled
swimmer, even for a Zora, Mikau was never able to beat the Beaver Brothers at
their game, though Link later beat them in Mikau’s form. Lean and athletic,
Mikau sports numerous tattoos on his body, perhaps uniquely among the Zora.
Mikau stupidly tries to swim in the murky waters of Zora Cape, and ends up
dying because of it. A flock of seagulls (I walk along the avenue) flaps over
him, and since seagulls are seen as fundamental in The Wind Waker, they’re
probably seeing him off to the afterlife, or maybe trying to convince him to
cling to life. Either way, they point Link to him, and he pushes Mikau
ashore. Mikau then explains the plight of the Zora with a rousing and
humorous guitar solo. Link plays the Song of Healing and gets the Zora’s Mask
from him. After that, Mikau’s grave can be seen on the beach – his guitar is
sticking out of the sand, marking the spot where he drew his last breath.
Of the five forms Link can assume in Majora’s Mask, Mikau’s is by far the
most fun – Kijin Link can bite me. As Mikau, I spent a great deal of time
zooming around watery areas at what seemed like super-speed. Swimming as a
Zora is simply awesome, my lacklustre description of it notwithstanding.
Mikau can also stand and walk along the bottom of a watery area, like a
built-in combination Iron Boots and Zora Tunic. Twilight Princess’s Zora
Armour uses a similar swimming concept, but it’s just not the same. In
battle, Mikau can slash with the fins on his forearms or throw them like
boomerangs. Lastly, his most potent attack is a bioelectric vortex that kills
any waterlogged enemy it comes into contact with. Very cool.
I leave you with this thought: Do you have any idea how cool it would be to
combine Mikau’s form with The Wind Waker’s world?
=============================================================================
M i l a a n d M a g g i e
The rich get poorer
Race: Hylians
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Mila and Maggie are two of the three girls that the Helmaroc King kidnaps in
its search for Princess Zelda. Apparently, giant birds make horrible
detectives, because none of the candidates he brings home remotely resembles
Zelda. Mila is probably the one nearer the mark, being blonde-haired and
regally clothed. Maggie, by contrast, has hair of deep red and literally
dresses in rags – not even close.
Link first encounters them when he climbs the Forsaken Fortress, but before
he can free them and Aryll he is captured by the Helmaroc King and thrown
into the sea. King of Red Lions rescues him and takes him to Windfall Island,
where he meets the girls’ fathers. Maggie’s father fretted constantly about
her and harassed Link about saving her every time he stepped within two
thousand metres of him. Mila’s father, by contrast, worries mostly about his
vase collection.
Here’s the difference between them, though. Mila’s father promises Tetra’s
pirates all his wealth, every last bit of it, if they can rescue Mila. They
follow up, and the two families switch roles. (Maggie’s dad sells the Skull
Necklaces she got from the Fortress, which go for big bucks.) Maggie and her
dad dress elaborately, while Mila and her father are now the ones in rags.
Mila’s dad has no regrets, because his little girl is back. But Maggie’s dad
doesn’t even care about her anymore, only wealth and all the trappings
thereof. Power tends to corrupt, and money corrupts absolutely.
During her detainment, Maggie started up a relationship with one of the
Moblins in the Forsaken Fortress. His name was Moe, but he didn’t share her
feelings; he wanted to eat her, which she took as a metaphor for their love.
She also becomes quite introspective, even writing poetry. Mila, on the other
hand, had to work to support the family, so she became Zunari’s assistant.
Tragically, desperation also turned her to a life of crime – she started
picking the lock on Zunari’s safe and looting the contents every night. Link
set her away from this path and instead she found a second job, on another
island. Geez – the poor girl is basically pulling 24-hour shifts seven days a
week.
=============================================================================
M i n i s t e r P o t h o
Neurotic bureaucrat
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Minish Cap
Because running an entire country is a tricky task, King Daltus has a number
of people who assist him with the job. Chief among them is the diminuitive
old-timer Minister Potho, whose title suggests that Hyrule may have somehow
transitioned to a constitutional monarchy while keeping the power of the
monarchy intact, which has never happened in real life. In addition to taking
on slightly lower-level administrative duties, Minister Potho is Zelda’s
personal teacher - likely part of vetting her for her coming role as the next
sovereign - and HATES it when she skips, hence his distress when Vaati
appears on the scene and turns her to stone. After coming to his senses (not
that there was much there to begin with), he offers Link the Smith’s Sword so
that he can embark on his softening journey without being killed two seconds
in. He appears in the endgame rocky as a Goron like everybody else; no,
rockier, because Gorons are at least still organic and capable of movement.
Anyway, this only lasts a short while as Link duly destroys Vaati and saves
the land, and Minister Potho joins the thank you retinue.
=============================================================================
M i s s M a r i e
Hot for Teacher
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Miss Marie is an ample, purple-haired, loudly dressed schoolteacher on
Windfall Island, which basically means she teaches the Killer Bees and not
much else. When we first encounter her they’re a band of truants and problem
students who have been giving her a ton of trouble, but after Link bests them
in a game of hide-and-seek (much as he did the Bombers) and becomes their
living idol they soften and start to warm up to her. By day she can be found
in the classroom, but by night she runs out to the bar or the auction house.
Guess she likes to let loose after a long day moulding young minds. Miss
Marie is the founder of the Joy Luck Club, which basically means she craves
Joy Pendants (the butterfly-shaped Spoils carried by Bokoblins) and wants to
be delivered as many as humanly possible. Because of this, the Killer Bees
think that they can get in her good books if they bring her a Joy Pendant,
and invest all kinds of time and energy into finding one, but the only one
they can ever locate is at the top of a tree and far beyond their reach,
though Link snags it after they dejectedly leave.
When Link reaches certain milestones of having given stuff to her, Miss Marie
rewards him with trinkets, the most exciting of which is the deed to her
seaside cabana and the Private Oasis on which it sits. This place treats its
occupants to comfortable decor and the relaxation of having every need taken
care of by their personal butler, allowing them to luxuriate in the
atmosphere of their secluded hideaway. This butler not only stands guard at
the door, refusing entry to anyone but the owner, but also capably performs
the tasks of both caretaker and entertainer. One of the features to which he
will direct his master’s attention is the sliding puzzles on either side of
the room, which depict various characters from across the Great Sea; this is
like that Orca whale puzzle you can get at the Vancouver Aquarium, except
less frustrating. Anyway, more important than any of this, if you dive
beneath the floorboards you’ll find a small series of ReDead-infested caves,
which might lead you to question just what exactly is going on with Miss
Marie, and if you wander around for a little while you’ll find a Triforce
Chart. Yeah, that’s really suspicious.
If you keep on showering her with Joy Pendants, you’ll be rewarded with the
Hero’s Charm and then just Rupees. The Hero’s Charm is a little item accessed
from the sub-screen that can be turned on or off at will; when turned on, it
displays the remaining health of enemies as a bar floating above their heads.
It’s a pretty cool item but unnecessary and in the end I just found it
distracting, so I just turned it off, myself.
=============================================================================
M r. W r i t e
Pun!!
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Mr. Write is one of Koholint Island’s more insane inhabitants, in that he has
only a loose grasp on reality. He lives alone in the woods between Mabe
Village and Goponga Swamp, and spends every spare second sitting at his desk
penning letters. He thinks he’s writing to Princess Peach, but he’s actually
communicating with a goat-woman in the next town over. I seem to recall
something about him getting disillusioned and throwing a tantrum for a while,
then getting over it and coming to realise that his friendship with Miss Goat
still stands regardless of what he’d originally thought it was. Might have
been my imagination though. I swear I can’t shut that thing up.
As I mention elsewhere in this guide, Link’s Awakening manages to shove in
about 27 obscure references per microsecond of gameplay, but Mr. Write takes
the cake. Not only is he wrapped in the delusion that he’s pen-pals with a
beautiful foreign dignitary FROM ANOTHER NINTENDO SERIES, but the man himself
is based on master of ceremonies Will Wright as he appears in the SimCity
games: The two share homophonous names, hairstyles, and scholarly attention
to detail in their work (literature and city planning, respectively.)
Now, obviously we can excuse Mr. Write for some of his weirdness because he’s
not even real, given that he’s part of the Koholint Island dream. I’m gonna
go ahead and say that he comes from the Wind Fish rather than Link, because
he sure doesn’t resemble anyone you’ll EVER see in Hyrule, man.
...having said that, his sprite ended up getting reused in Oracle of Seasons.
I refuse to add the game to the “Appearances” part because I want to
emphasize how off the whole business is, but for anyone just itching to know,
all he does is give you a book on raising Cuccos in exchange for lighting his
reading lamp so that he can get some work done; this kicks off Seasons’s
Trading Game, which ends in you acquiring the Biggoron’s Sword.
=============================================================================
N a b o o r u
Scantily clad desert woman
Race: Gerudo
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Although Ganondorf is the first Gerudo male born in a hundred years and
therefore has a birthright to the sovereignty of the Gerudo race, Nabooru
does not recognize him as King. She sees past the façade he puts on for
others and knows that he is actually evil, and she covertly opposes him at
every turn. When Link enters the Spirit Temple as a child, he finds her
looking for the Silver Gauntlets in her latest endeavour against the King of
Evil. But as Link noticed when he visited as an adult, only a child can fit
through the small space that leads to them, so she promises him a reward if
he can find them. When he does, however, Nabooru is captured by Koume and
Kotake. That about puts an end to the resistance movement for the time being.
She doesn’t reappear until the end of the adult portion of the Spirit Temple,
which culminates in a confrontation between Link and the twins. The two had
imprisoned Nabooru in a suit of Iron Knuckle armour and force her to battle
Link. She is released from the brainwashing spell when Link wins. After Link
beats Twinrova, Koume and Kotake’s combined form, Nabooru awakens as the Sage
of Spirit and adds her power to Link’s.
=============================================================================
N a v i
Pixellated pixie
Race: Fairy
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Navi is not so much a character as she is a brilliantly executed mechanic,
but she has just enough spunk for me to include her here. Link was the only
Kokiri without a guardian fairy – until the opening movie, when the Great
Deku Tree finally sends Navi to be his. It’s implied there’s something
special about Navi, that she is held in high regard among fairies, or
something. Not only does she have a subtle but definite personality, she’s
also really smart, helping Link out with all manner of contraptions he finds
in dungeons and occasionally speaking with other characters. She also points
out significant interactive objects by flying to them and glowing green, and
Z-targeting would be impossible without her (as demonstrated in the final
battle with Ganondorf.)
At the end of the game, Navi flies away through the stained-glass window of
the Temple of Time. We have still never learned why – it’s quite possible
that with evil gone from the land for the time being, she was no longer
needed. It’s a little sad that she left without saying goodbye, but think
what would have happened if she hadn’t. Link would never have ventured into
the Lost Woods to look for her. Skull Kid would never have run off with
Epona. Link wouldn’t have followed him through the portal into Termina, and
there would have been no one to stop the moon from falling. Hyrule would have
been wiped out, and by extension, probably a lot more as well. So really,
abandoning Link after all they’d been through was the best decision she could
have made.
=============================================================================
N i g h t m a r e s
In your dreams
Race: Nightmares
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
The Nightmares were eight entities who plagued the Wind Fish’s sleep, causing
all kinds of destruction on Koholint Island. They also each guarded one of
the Instruments of the Sirens, which Link had to collect to wake the Wind
Fish, meaning each one was the boss of a dungeon. A few of them were based on
bosses from previous games. They are, in order:
Moldorm
Genie
Slime Eyes
Angler Fish
Slime Eel
Façade
Evil Eagle
Hot Head
When Link collected all the instruments by defeating the Nightmares, he
entered the egg atop Mt Tamaranch and did battle with their leader, Dethl.
Dethl had a similarly referential nature in his forms:
Giant Gel
Agahnim’s Shadow
Moldorm
Ganon’s Shadow
Lanmola
Dethl
After Dethl fell, the game was over. Why do the Nightmares get a profile when
all it really amounts to is a list? Well, they’re an essential part of the
plot.
=============================================================================
N y a v e a n d N y e v e
Identity thieves
Race: Hylians
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
These bearded brothers sail the high seas in hopes of accruing fame and
status, each day honing their sword arts and readying themselves for that
eventual day of reckoning when they sally forth to do battle with all those
of fell intention who would threaten the foundations of our daily lives and
the stuff of our very future. Nyave happens to suck at this way more than
does Nyeve, as his primary approach to fighting evil is to cower in his boat
and play dead if anything dangerous gets too close. He doesn’t quite dress
the part, either, garbing himself in a yellow helmet and front-and-back
plate. He does, however, serve at least one useful function: In exchange for
his precious Guard Notebook that he lost, he’ll give up his Wood Heart, which
is part of the Trading Game. Once he has it back, he fesses up that he never
actually wanted to be a hero in the first place; his dream was to become a
cook, like one of his other brothers. Thus unburdened, he sets out towards a
new goal.
Nyeve, on the other hand, is not to be dissuaded, a possible reference to the
word ‘naiive.’ Naiive in that he believes himself to be a hero, and uh,
actually he kind of fits it, in an imitative sort of way that flies off-
centre and avoids most of what actually made Link a hero in The Wind Waker.
Nyeve, you see, clothes himself in a green tunic and floppy pointed hat,
wields a legendary weapon, and voyages in a red boat with a lion-shaped
figurehead called the Prince of Red Lions. Unfortunately, these items are a
nightcap, a spear, and a relaxation platform, respectively, so he doesn’t
quite get full marks. On top of that, he never seems to DO much of anything,
besides declare his mighty heroism, which is a serious obstacle to his
aspirations. On the other hand, in a manner quite similar to that of Orca
from Waker, Nyeve does offer Link a chance to spar with him, challenging him
to connect with 100 sword strikes before Nyeve can land three spear bashes.
The top reward for this game is a Heart Container. Nyeve never ends up
affording Link quite the same level of respect that Orca did upon his defeat,
but does take it as motivation to become stronger as he continues his
preparations for saving the world.
=============================================================================
O b l i a n d W i l l i
Heavier-than-air travellers
Race: Hylians, to their regret
Appearances: The Wind Waker
In much the same way as Tingle became obsessed with fairies and tried to
become one, Obli and Willi became obsessed with the Rito and tried to become
them. Although their getups are indeed much more true to their subjects than
Tingle’s, they don’t seem to have achieved proportionally greater success.
They have, however, set up the awesomely named Flight Control Platform and
equally well-monikered Bird-Man Contest, which means that they built a
floating platform in the middle of the ocean and started challenging all
comers to jump off one end of it and fly, glide and drift as far as they
possibly can. Needless to say, if any actual Rito ever took part in the
competition, they would shatter the current record and obliterate the chances
of any earthbound denizen from ever even approaching it ever again. If I
recall correctly, the platform also has one or two spectators lounging around
it, which would suggest it has gained a nice measure of popularity. Anyway,
what this means for Link is that he is more than welcome to dock his boat,
run past Willi - the sturdier of the brothers and the outfit’s designated
greeter - and head on up to accept the challenge of Willi, the mousatche-
bearer, at a cost of 10 Rupees per attempt, practically nothing.
From here proceeds an exhilarating sequence that requires you to first set
the wind in your favour with the Wind’s Requiem, then pitch yourself off the
platform and unfurl your Deku Leaf. If you get some good speed at the
beginning you can definitely go amazingly far, but to make it past the flag-
arch that marks the climax of the current record-holder’s journey and win the
Heart Piece, you’ll have to make use of the various cyclones littering the
course, which toss you up to their peaks. They drift across the surface of
the water somewhat unpredictably, which can sometimes screw you over as you
futilely circle around at them only to have them whiff out of reach and fall
into the drink. All the while, you’re also battling your constantly depleting
Magic Metre, although you can easily just cheat (half-cheat) and use Ting.
Your journey ends when, one way or another, you fall into the sea
(‘SPLOOOOOOOOOOSH!’), which sounds a bullhorn and puts your feet back on the
ground, such as it is. Hopefully you’ll have passed the ribbon when this
happens, which will move it out that much farther, make you the new record-
holder, and award you your Piece of Heart. Nintendo Power magazine held an
Arena contest challenging players to get as far as they can; the winning
score was 573 yards. You only need like 200 to get the Heart Piece.
For some reason, I’ve always had this idea that Obli is wearing an American
fighter jacket from the 40s. Logical, right? They also wear goggles, which is
just plain cool.
=============================================================================
O c e a n K i n g (O s h u s)
Kind of like Poseidon. Or Moby Dick
Race: Patron deity
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
The Ocean King is ostensibly the lord protector of whatever random section of
the sea Link and the pirates manage to find themselves in at the outset of
Phantom Hourglass. It’s actually possibly he’s responsible for a wider area
than that, but I certainly hope not, because he’s sucking pretty badly at
keeping watch on just the people who worship him. They constructed the Temple
of the Ocean King on Mercay Island, one of the largest temples ever built,
and he presided from its inner sanctum 15 floors deep. This worked very well
until the dark god Bellum stormed in, overpowered him and his three assistant
faries, and kicked him out, stripping him of nearly all his power in the
process.
The most loyal of his faries, Ciela, tried to stand and fight alongside him,
but ended up bereft of her powers and her memory. Defeated and desperately
needing to regroup, the Ocean King assumed human form and the name Oshus (or
maybe that was just his name: Oshus, the Ocean King...I’m not sure) (confirm
first name: Not), then built himself a house outside of town on Mercay. In
the guise of an old man garbed in blue robes, carrying around a huge pink
stick, and sporting a gnarly head of hair and beard, he kept Ciela happy and
healthy as he tried to gather his strength once again, but the fact was,
there was serious trouble on the horizon.
Then Link came along, having fallen into the ocean after trying to rescue
Tetra from the absconding Ghost Ship. It’s even possible Oshus directed the
waves to guide him there, though even that small feat may have been beyond
him at that point. In any case, Ciela finds him washed up on shore and the
game begins. Oshus is uneasy about dragging Link into the battle and about
letting the vulnerable Ciela venture out where he can’t protect her, but the
spunky sprite will hear nothing of his protestations and he eventually gives
in, providing a sword lesson and his blessing. After the duo teams up with
Linebeck in the Temple, they venture back in to look for clues on where to go
next. Oshus, who has apparently been observing all this remotely, then
appears out of nowhere and reveals one of the Temple’s most important
treasures, the Phantom Hourglass. With it, he says, one can counteract the
place’s evil influence, at least until the artefact runs out of sand, at
which point it will once again begin sucking the life out of the adventurer.
The precise truth is that the Hourglass’s magic directly opposes’s Bellum’s
power, but he doesn’t go into this much detail.
After they collect a Sea Chart from the Temple, Oshus instructs them to head
for the Isle of Ember, where they conquer the Temple of Fire and liberate
Leaf, Spirit of Power, and then go on to add Neri, Spirit of Wisdom, to the
party. Finally, they rescue one last fairy...but it doesn’t speak or react to
them at all. Oshus informs them that what they rescued was the embodiment of
the other half of Ciela’s power, and fuses the two together, restoring Ciela
to her previous might.
Fact is though, he’s still screwed, because for some reason even with the
three spirits fired up and ready to go, Oshus is still being somehow
restrained. Looks like there’s nothing for it but to have Link take the fight
to the enemy. But the whole thing would be impossible and pointless without a
weapon powerful enough to take him down, so Oshus sends him to see Zauz, an
old friend. Zauz in turn dispatches Link to collect three Pure Metals, out of
which he forges a blade upon delivery, but that’s the best he can do. Oshus,
however, summons his strength and combines it with the Phantom Hourglass,
forming the Phantom Sword, which looks suspiciously similar to the Master
Sword and is the only weapon capable of defeating Bellum (or at least it’s
the only weapon tailor-made for the purpose of defeating Bellum. I kind of
suspect that if Link was still in possession of the Master Sword, it would
have done the trick. I mean come on, it’s the friggin’ MASTER Sword.)
Link delves into the deepest depths of the dungeon to do battle with the
dastard, and glory day, he emerges the victor. Oshus finds himself slightly
more empowered and just as Link is about to be crushed at the bottom of the
collapsing temple, he manages to teleport him safely onto the deck of the
S.S. Linebeck. However, it’s not over – not only is he still magically frail
at best, but Bellum isn’t quite done yet. The Ghost Ship appears out of
nowhere and starts to assault the group, but they fight it off and board. In
an epic sword battle, Link finally vanquishes Bellum.
Fully reinstated, Oshus returns the stoned Zelda to human form, and with
that, their time together is up...so, in an impressive feat of magic, he
reassumes his true form as an immense white whale and returns Link and Tetra
to their own vessel, as though they’d never even encountered the Ghost Ship.
It was all a dream! Only not really.
=============================================================================
O l d M a n a n d O l d W o m a n
Old people
Race: Hylians
Appearances: The Legend of Zelda
The first Zelda only had a handful of characters. Link was one, obviously, as
were Ganon and Zelda, who didn’t show up until the end. Impa only appeared in
the instruction manual. So what else is there? One Moblin who hides out in a
cave, and these two old people.
Their relationship to each other is unclear, but it is obvious that they know
each other since Old Man gives Link a Letter for Old Woman to read. This
Letter allows Link to buy Red and Blue Potions from Old Woman (which work a
little differently from their modern-day counterparts.) Old Man, for his
part, appears in caves and dungeons to offer advice. Here are a few pearls of
wisdom:
Dodongo dislikes smoke
10th enemy has the Bomb
Did you visit Old Man at top of waterfall yet?
If you attacked the Old Man with your sword, the torches beside him would
start shooting at you. There was a similar Old Man character in Oracle of
Seasons, which took a lot of its inspiration and characters from the original
game, but he just wasn’t the same as our good friend.
=============================================================================
O l d M a n H o H o
Voyeur
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
I always kind of liked Old Man Ho Ho, travelling the seas apparently, always
showing up in unexpected places, looking out to the ocean and explaining what
he was looking at with an exclamation of wonder. A lot of the time he’s
checking out a Bigocto or a Moblin submarine, leading Link to booty and
opportunity. Strangely enough, he even seems to be very well-versed in
Hyrulean lore, aware of the Triforce Charts and their significance, and
seemingly even their locations, though he just barely manages to maintain his
veil of ignorance. I wonder if he’s just a scholar, or if he has some other
source of information?
In Phantom Hourglass, it turns out he’s actually one member of a whole tribe
of identically dressed searchers, the Ho Ho Tribe.
=============================================================================
O l d M a n U l r I r a a n d G r a n d m a U l r I r a
Charming smalltown citizens
Race: Hylians
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Old Man Ulrira and his wife Grandma Ulrira live in Mabe Village and probably
have their whole lives. I bet they were even high school sweethearts, or the
relative term since they probably didn’t go to high school, and on top of
that they’ve probably only actually been alive as long as Link and the Wind
Fish have been dreaming about them, which I guess means that all of the
island’s inhabitants had a net lifespan of like six hours. In any case, Old
Man Ulrira is a sharp dude who dispenses advice over the telephone, since
he’s very shy in person. This is actually an advantage because you can
contact him from any tree-entrenched phone booth on the island, of which
there are a handful; upon picking up the receiver he delivers some commentary
on recent events and an always-accurate suggestion on Link’s next
destination. Grandma Ulrira figures into the trading game by offering up a
Fish Hook in exchange for a Broom. From that point on, she spends her days
cheerily sweeping the steps in front of their house, unless you use the
Select Glitch, in which case she attacks you with a sword.
=============================================================================
O l d W a y f a r e r
The name says it all, really
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
Many years before Phantom Hourglass opens, the Old Wayfarer left his wife and
son on Molida Island to go adventuring. Specifically, it seems he was looking
for a way through the infernal mist that all but totally prevents passage to
the northwestern quadrant of the sea. When you first hear of him, it seems
like he’s passed into legend, and that that’ll be about the extent of your
relationship with him; as it turns out, though, the man is alive and well and
living on Bannan Island. Using the clues that he left behind on Molida Island
to gain access to his (correct) theory on the way through the mist, Link is
able to travel through the eerie barrier and eventually dispel it altogether.
From here, he can immediately go and meet the old man if that’s what he feels
he wants to do.
The Old Wayfarer is basically in retirement, relaxing in a cabana, growing a
massive beard, and wearing an old-guy hat and Hawaiian shirt. It seems that
over the years he’s developed an obsession with mermaids, and has devised a
number of ways that he might meet one; the one he mentions to Link is pulling
one up with a Fishing Rod. (Though wouldn’t that require hooking her? Ouch!
Poor darling!) Though he lacks a Fishing Rod, Link goes forth and encounters
Joanne, a young woman who dresses up as a mermaid and floats around Bannan in
an inner tube for the Old Wayfarer’s amusement, and hits her in the face with
his Boomerang, triggering her immediate flight. Returning to the Old
Wayfarer, Link explains the situation and is told that she probably ran off
to see another man...how sad. Link goes to see Linebeck, who reports that he
indeed talk with the mermaid for a bit, but that she quickly swam away. With
this new information, Link once again runs back to the Old Wayfarer, only to
find that Joanne has taken up residence in the pool in his house. The
overjoyed Old Wayfarer, having been cut off from the southwestern quadrant
and starved for company all this time, thanks Link profusely for bringing
such a beautiful creature into his home and gifts him with his Fishing Rod as
a sign of his gratitude.
A while later in the game, Link can head a ways out to sea to rendezvous with
the S.S. Wayfarer (presumably the ship the Old Wayfarer originally used to
traverse the confounding mist), where the two reflect for a while and the Old
Wayfarer says that the mermaid Link brought him eats too much, and he’s
running out of money because he has to spend it all on food. He doesn’t seem
especially distraught over it, though, and even rewards Link with ship parts
and a Heart Container for having caught a number of special fish, such as the
legendarily massive and massively legendary Neptoona. In any case, in
exchange for the Wood Heart, the Old Wayfarer tells Link to open the chest he
will find back in his house, which turns out to hold the Swordsman’s Scroll
with which one can learn the Great Spin Attack. Does this hint at an even
more storied past? Is he not only a Wayfarer but a master swordsman? Didn’t
Link already learn the Great Spin Attack in TWW? Pretty interesting guy.
=============================================================================
O o c c o o
C-Button item
Race: Oocca
Appearances: Twilight Princess
This unfortunately named, funny little creature has the interesting
distinction of being both a character and an item. I still think of them as
C-Button items, a holdover from the N64 games, even though they’re now set to
X or Y. Link encounters her in dungeons one through seven. In the first five,
she’s searching for a way to return to her hometown, the City in the Sky.
Since she and Link are both on the side of good, she decides to travel with
him and lend him the reasonably useful ability of instantly returning to a
dungeon’s entrance. After the first dungeon, she even sends him a letter to
let him know that she’ll be out and about.
As it turns out, the key to returning to the City is the Dominion Rod, which
Link finds in the Temple of Time. Ooccoo and her son Jr are there to witness
the Dominion Rod’s total loss of power upon being removed from the Temple.
Complaining that all that work was for nothing, Ooccoo runs off. However,
Link restores the Rod and prepares a giant cannon to fire himself skywards to
the final shard of the Mirror of Twilight, and at the last minute Ooccoo and
Jr appear from out of nowhere and jump in too. Having finally returned to her
home, Ooccoo isn’t about to leave, so Link is on his own for the last two
dungeons. Thanks for nothing, Ooccoo, but at least this story had a happy
ending.
=============================================================================
O r d o n V i l l a g e K i d s
Caught in the crossfire
Race: Hylians
Appearances: Twilight Princess
All four of these kids are present at Ordon Village when the game begins, but
are abducted when the Bulblins come to town. We catch up with them later at
Kakariko Village, where they are in serious trouble. Even after we liberate
Eldin Province, they remain in Kakariko, though the credits show their
caravan heading home.
Colin – Like Komali before him, Colin goes from being a snivelling wuss to a
brave and ambitious hero-in-the-making. But despite an intense desire to
fulfill the instructions of his father, Rusl, to be strong, he was nothing
more than a weakling coward. As a result, the other village kids picked on
him constantly. But after witnessing Link save Talo from the Faron Woods,
Colin begins to understand what his old man meant. He’s abducted along with
the other kids and taken to Kakariko Village. A little later, when the
Bokoblins rush down the narrow road, we see him demonstrate his newfound will
to act. As Beth is frozen in fear and about to be trampled under the hooves
of the boss’s boar, Colin runs out and shoves her out of danger. He is
captured instead, but Link manages to rescue him. He becomes steadily bolder
from that point on, and in the end credits we even see him with a wooden
sword and shield on his back!
Beth – Apparently one of the richer kids in town, as she was the only one of
them with enough cash to buy a Slingshot. She is meanspirited to start, but
mellows out after Colin saves her life. It seems she actually likes him, you
know, THAT way. She also idolizes Link throughout his quest, wowed even by
extremely simple demonstrations of his swordplay.
Talo – Talo asks Link if he can borrow his Wooden Sword to show Beth and Malo
what he can really do, but this turns out to not be such a great plan. He
runs off into the forest to fight monkeys and is quickly abducted by them.
Link pursues and rescues him. The only other thing he does is drop his sword
when the kids are taken to Kakariko Gorge, allowing Link to track them in
wolf form by the scent he leaves on it.
Malo – Though baby-faced and weird-lookin’, Malo is possibly the most
important and most mature of the kids. He is surprisingly worldly for his
age, and when Kakariko Village begins to rebuild, he takes over an unmanned
shop and opens Malo Mart. He isn’t the best businessman in the world,
however; for one thing, he tells you his products are a waste of money.
Eventually, Malo is able to orchestrate the repair of Hyrule Castle Town’s
east bridge, opening a second branch there, which has smokin’ discounts that
are awesome. Both locations also begin playing some really cool music that
the employees dance to.
=============================================================================
P a m e l a
Survival-horror expert
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
Pamela lives in Ikana Canyon. Know what that means? It means she makes her
home in a valley of dust and death surrounded by frickin’ reanimated corpses
at all hours of the day. Know what else? Instead of barricading herself
inside her house like a sane person, she walks out onto her veranda once
every hour. You know, just to see what’s shakin’. This is one tough little
girl. She’s frickin’ Suika, only without a gourd of alcohol that never
empties no matter how much you drink, and not the daughter of an evil demon
king.
Her father could conceivably be MISTAKEN for an evil demon king, though.
Skull Kid, being a complete dick like always, tried to turn him into a Gibdo
except sucked badly at it. The result was a sort of half-Gibdo misshapen
mutant thing, mostly covered in bandages but with limbs sticking out at odd
angles and a rather disturbing visage. This is what Link discovers if he can
enter their house, called the Music Box House because that’s what it
basically is: a giant music box powered by the river on which it sits, whose
song wards off any undead who hear it (which suddenly makes Pamela seem less
resourceful but even still...would you take that chance?) Unfortunately, any
time he tries the door Pamela will tell him to go away, not wanting anybody
to mistake her father for a monster and try to stab him or something. Silly
girl, we’re trying to help you; and since you won’t let us we’re just going
to have to try a home invasion. Detonating dangerous explosives on her front
doorstep will cause Pamela to come out to investigate, allowing Link to duck
around her (easier with the Stone Mask) and rush down the stairs, where her
father will groan creepily at him. If Pamela comes back before we can
literally work our magic, she’ll kick us out, so we have to immediately whip
out our trusty Ocarina of Time and play our equally trusty Song of Healing.
And just like that, Pamela’s father is healed of his debilitation, and we get
the Gibdo’s Mask out of the deal. I’m sure their subsistence will be easier
from that point on as well, with both of them once again able-bodied.
The scene that plays out afterward is somewhat heartwarming, with the two
embracing. If you try to talk to them while this is going on Tatl will bitch
at you.
=============================================================================
P a p a h l
2.5 kids
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Link can encounter Papahl shortly after awakening in Mabe Village,
immediately if he wants to. Papahl lives with his family in the house on the
raised plateau at the north end of town. Parents of four young Quadruplets,
their household is an extremely noisy and active little place, and both he
and, especially, his wife long for a few moments of blissful peace. Speaking
to Papahl’s progeny, Link learns that their deepest desire is a trendy toy
called a Yoshi Doll. Sinking a few Rupees into the Trendy Game, a UFO crane-
based grasping challenge, he gifts the family with his spoils and manages to
focus the toddlers long enough to stop their screaming. Ahhh. Papahl himself
exhibits seer-like qualities, as he informs Link that the hero will find him
lost in the mountains later on. His strange reasoning here - using the
information to have Link rescue him rather than avoid getting lost in the
first place - is an early hint that things on Koholint are not all as they
should be. Possibly owing partly to a tip from his wife, they do indeed
encounter each other later on, Link stumbling across an exhausted Papahl in
Tal Tal Heights near Mt Tamaranch. He gives the poor man a refreshing
Pineapple to send him in on his way, in return receiving the pretty and
fragrant Hibiscus he happened to have on him. Rejuvenated, Papahl then
proceeds to merrily run off in a random direction, which is by all rights a
bad idea since he’s still lost. Somehow, though, he’s able to use his
native’s knowledge of local geography to crawl back into town, so the
family’s story has a happy ending. At least until Link wakes the Wind Fish
and destroys them all.
=============================================================================
P a t c h
Top-notch repairman
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Oracle of Seasons
Patch is an oldish guy who lives at the top of Restoration Hill to the west
of Symmetry City in the Past. Link brings him Symmetry City’s broken Tuni
Nut, because the city will collapse on itself without it. Patch’s method
involves something called the Restoration Ceremony, better known as the Crazy
Cart game. As Patch chants the words, the Tuni Nut is placed on a mine cart
that goes rollicking around the place. Once it reaches a certain point, it
will crash if Link isn’t standing on the switch that diverts the tracks.
While this is going on, Link must also smack four Helmet Beetles into a pit.
Um...if someone can please explain the science behind this ritual to me, I’d
be much obliged. Later, Patch also repairs the Broken Sword.
=============================================================================
P e r g i e a n d J a g g l e
Village people
Race: Hylians
Appearances: Twilight Princess
Pergie nad Jaggle go into one profile because neither one does anything
interesting. Their children, Malo and (less so) Talo, have a lot more going
for them. Jaggle, who by the looks of his physique must be like a carpenter
or something, has an incredibly massive forehead, and is somewhat lazy. He
does helpfully teach Link how to make an improvised flute out of grass with
which to summon a hawk, an important skill at least in the early game and
critical in the tutorial, so that’s all right. Though not quite as motivated
as some of the others in the village, he at least musters the will to
seriously talk to Mayor Bo about retrieving everyone’s kidnapped children,
whereas Pergie just sits at home and bawls grossly. Speaking of their home,
it has a waterwheel attached, so it’s, what, a granary? Something along those
lines.
=============================================================================
P h a n t o m G u i d e
His real name has been lost to time, I guess
Race: Poe
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
From what I understand, the Phantom Guide used to be a hardworking member of
Poe society, but somehow shamed himself and in so doing was doomed to helping
travellers cross the Gerudo Desert for all eternity. After skimming the River
of Sand (Link uses the Hover Boots, though there may be other methods),
travellers are met with a small, unassuming structure just on the verge of
falling apart. Here begins the Phantom Guide test of the desert, which for
one thing requires the participant to even VIEW the guide; Link accomplishes
this with the Lens of Truth (though again there may be other methods,
especially for an accomplished magician.) The Phantom Guide, awoken by his
sudden approach, then declares, ‘I’ll be your guide on your way, but coming
back, I won’t play! I’ll show you the only way to go, so follow me and don’t
be slow!’ Following this, he’ll fly off into the desert, and Link must give
chase, following the exact path the Phantom Guide lays out. Any misstep will
result in a one-way trip back to the Haunted Wasteland, but if Link can
follow his bobbing lantern, he’ll eventually emerge from the sandstorm in
front of the Desert Colossus.
=============================================================================
P h o t o g r a p h e r
Huh, him too
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Link’s Awakening (technically, Link’s Awakening DX)
The Photographer appeared in the updated version of Link’s Awakening that was
released with three main additions: Colour, the Colour Dungeon, and a side-
quest of sorts that had you obtaining commemorative photographs to mark a
number of meaningless milestones passed throughout the course of the game. He
gets his own studio not found in the original edition, where Link first
encounters him (and unlocks the ability to obtain photographs) and to which
he can return if he wants to view an album of all the pictures the
Photographer has taken of him so far.
In spite of being a mouse, the Photographer is a fairly robust little guy,
willing to literally climb the highest mountains and swim the deepest seas
(or rather bays) to get that perfect shot. And considering he always seems to
be around at just the exact right moment, he’s either hella lucky or a
paparazzo. Besides Link, he variously shoots Marin, BowWow, Richard, Grandpa
Ulrira, Tarin (at Tarin’s insistence), the fisherman in Martha’s Bay, the
ghost you have to take back to its house for the Angler Key, and the Zora of
Animal Village. Some of his notable feats include starting Link on his visual
kei quest whether he wants to or not, being hooked and reeled on the
fisherman’s line, and shooting while falling off a bridge. Other famous
photographers include Lenzo and Todd, the guy from Pokemon Snap.
The Photographer also has the dubious distinction of creating one of the only
things in Zelda history that you can screw yourself out of; once you pass
certain points, some photographs can no no longer be obtained.
=============================================================================
P i e r r e a n d B o n o o r u
Singing scarecrows
Race: Scarecrows
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
Link finds Bonooru at Lake Hylia as a child. Bonooru, a great lover of song
and dance, asks Link to perform something he’s written himself. Whatever Link
plays becomes the Scarecrow’s Song.
As an adult, Link will occasionally see Pierre’s pointed hat poking out of
the ground, and if he doesn’t, Navi will likely point it out with her glowing
green effects. If Link plays the Scarecrow’s Song at such times, Pierre will
recognize the tune, pop out of the ground and erect a Hookshot target,
opening up secret areas. This is essential to completing certain side-quests.
They both play minor roles in Majora’s Mask, teaching Link the Inverted Song
of Time and the Song of Double Time.
=============================================================================
P i n k u r u
Pink Tingle
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Mogitate Chinkuru no Barairo Rupii Rando
Another Mogitate Tingle character, the mannish Pinkuru dresses even more
oddly than Tingle: She wears a similar hat, a bikini top, and fishnet pants.
She also has a rose tattoo on her left upper arm, which fits with the game’s
title. Pinkuru appears on Tingle’s computer in his home and offers advice on
where to go next.
=============================================================================
P l u m m
Pirate Edition
Race: Parrot
Appearances: Twilight Princess
After Link clears the Twilight from Lake Hylia, Plumm can be found in the
same spot where Link initially wrangled a ride to Zora’s Domain. Here, Plumm
is running a minigame, which unfolds with striking similarity to his original
adventure upriver, except this time he’s riding an enormous bird instead of a
twilit monster, and his objective is to fly into a series of enormous fruits
that Plumm has placed throughout the course. There are three types of fruit,
and the object is to fly into a succession of the same type throughout the
whole course, fuelling a combo counter that multiplies his score to levels
exponentially higher than they would otherwise be. After Link easily beats
the high score Plumm sets for him, the intrigued parrot rewards him with a
Heart Piece. I also seem to remember Plumm doing a little eye-clawing on some
enemy or another, but maybe it was my imagination. It makes him a little
cooler, if he did it. It also never really comes into anything, but Plumm is
Iza’s bird.
=============================================================================
P o s t m a n
A very serious civil servant
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask
Oracle of Ages
The Minish Cap
Twilight Princess
Phantom Hourglass
Spirit Tracks
The Postman has had two incarnations. The first, strangely, is less
noteworthy than the second. He first appeared on the scene as the Running
Man, a guy who waddled around Hyrule Castle Town and, later, Gerudo Valley,
and even later, Hyrule Field. Always running, the Running Man was. Link sold
him the Bunny Hood, which made him even faster, as part of the Happy Mask
Shop mini-trading game. You could also challenge him to a race from wherever
you were to Sacred Forest Meadow; Bunny Hood or not, this race was
unwinnable, as even teleporting straight there would result in him outpacing
you by exactly one second. The only point was to race against your own time,
which you could then view in Link’s house.
His running animation was put to good use when it was recycled for Majora’s
Mask. This time, he ran around Clock Town delivering mail on a route and
schedule he had timed to the second, and he got very aggravated when
interruptions threw off his flawless timing. He was also one of three people
(the other two being Link and the Curiosity Shop owner) who knew the
whereabouts of Kafei, and played a part in reuniting him with Anju, as well
as handed over the Postman’s Hat.
Oracle of Ages witnessed his participation in the Trading Game; the
perpetually late public officer offered up some Stationery in exchange for a
Poe Clock.
The Wind Waker featured the appropriately named Quill, who is a distinct
character.
In his other three appearances, he delivers mail. This is useful, but there’s
not much to say about it, although the Japanese-style flag he wears in TP is
kind of interesting, as is the fact that this incarnation marks the start of
a delineation in the physical appearance of the various Postmen; this one is
awkward and skinny, like myself. In PH he takes on a decidedly avian
appearance, sort of a mix between his previous iterations, Quill, and a
cherub. And his ST form is pretty much what that one would look like if he
lacked wings and dressed more normally, though he laments the new world order
in which letter-carriers no longer read mail aloud to their recipients, a
duty his predecessor enjoyed, and without wings, he presumably has to travel
by passenger train.
Yes, an inconsequential character, indeed.
=============================================================================
P r o f e s s o r S h i k a s h i
(conj.) but; however
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
If Majora’s Mask were a short adventure novel for young boys (it isn’t,
remember), Professor Shikashi would be like the old guy at the beginning who
offers vague advice to the hero at the beginning, and which turns out to be
instrumental in his success at the climax. He just has that kind of vibe
going for him. Dressed in Merlin-blue robes and a hat and sporting a cropped
white beard, Professor Shikashi devotes his days to observing the cosmos with
the gigantic telescope in his Astral Observatory, which he lets the Bombers
use as their hideout. He lets one of the scarecrows make his home in there as
well. When Link approaches him as either himself or his Deku self, he
stresses the importance of developing one’s interests while one is young,
which no doubt spoke deeply to the young people who were playing a video game
when they read that. Professor Shikashi is, technically, essential in
allowing Link to obtain the quest-critical Moon’s Tear (which also figures
into a Deed-swapping side quest), but he seems rather clueless about the
whole affair, and indeed his own impending destruction. Anyone have any idea
what he says in the final few hours of the 72-hour cycle? I guess that’d be
my job to find out, not gonna.
Professor Shikashi’s alt-world counterpart in Ocarina of Time’s Hyrule was
just some short-tempered old guy who hung out in the eastern corner of the
village; you could easily go the whole game and never even notice him there.
=============================================================================
P u r d y
Hedgehog
Race: Parrot
Appearances: Twilight Princess
I call these guys parrots, I realise they aren’t, shut up, nobody really
cares. Purdy, Hena’s winged companion with whom she lives at the Fishing
Hole, actually resembles a parrot the least out of any of them, this is a
bird you might see in a tree in like the East Side or something, except it’s
blue. What’s more, its single and only claim to fame is its unbelievable
audacity and rudeness, and that, from what I read on an old GameSpot thread I
dug up because I didn’t know anything about it (her?) since nobody cares
about her, if you attack it or something Hena will get protective and kick
you out of her establishment. That’s her entire thing, I mean profiles like
this are the exact reason I try to lump characters together when I can, but
Plumm and Coro are cool enough to deserve their own, so rhetorical trailing-
off and abrupt finish.
=============================================================================
P u r l o
Would-be scam artist
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
Purlo is the dislikeable guy who owns the STAR Game in Hyrule Castle Town. He
starts out with high hopes for what should be a profitable enterprise, but he
doesn’t count on his only customer, Link, being unnaturally good at
everything ever. The object of the timed game is to collect a bunch of
coloured orbs arranged throughout a brass cage, which would be completely
impossible if not for Link’s trusty Clawshot. When he wins, Purlo grudgingly
hands over the Big Quiver, pretending to be nice and all but actually cursing
Link under his breath and swearing it won’t be so easy next time. And in
fact, it isn’t, with a greater number of coloured balls in even more awkward
locations than before, and would be completely impossible if not for Link’s
trusty Dual Clawshots. Purlo coughs up the Giant Quiver and is very sad.
I can’t help but notice the similarity in name between Purlo and Charlo,
another moneygrubber who hangs around Hyrule Castle Town (known as ‘the Town’
or ‘the HCT’ to locals, not really.) He’s also one of a few people not to
take any flak from Link in his wolf form, instead telling him to take off
since he’s aggravating his allergies.
=============================================================================
Q u e e n A m b i
Ancient tyrant
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Oracle of Ages
Ambi is the ancient Queen of Labrynna, seen only in the Past. Though she was
originally kind and warm, she has turned ruthless and cold in more recent
times. She’s not really to blame, though, considering Veran has taken control
of her body and is using her influence to further her scheme. Ambi has
recently commissioned Ambi’s Tower, a giant stone monolith which Lynna City
residents have started calling the Black Tower due to its obviously evil
undertones. Ambi’s body plays a part in a couple of boss battles, but Veran
soon moves on to possess Nayru instead. In the end, Ambi returns to her old
self and rules Labrynna with a kind and guiding hand for many years. As it
turns out, Ralph is her direct descendant, many generations removed.
=============================================================================
Q u i l l
Winged postman of the sea
Race: Rito
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Courageous and compassionate, Quill helps Link out several times on his
quest. He not only convinces the pirates to take Link with them, he also
vouches for his good character to the Rito chieftain. The chieftain believes
Quill on principle, because he holds him in high regard. Quill is quite wise
for his age, but is completely baffled by watercraft, as his winged form has
never been aboard one. He is also part of the rescue party consisting of
himself, Komali and Valoo that whisks Link and Tetra away from the Forsaken
Fortress when they confront Ganondorf at its wooden summit.
=============================================================================
R a b b i t R e s c u e r
Bosom buddies with bunnies
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Spirit Tracks
According to Nintendo Power, the owner and operator of Rabbitland Rescue was
inspired by a desire to include collectible overworld items and one staff
member’s love of bunnies. It is doubtful, however, that that guy’s obsession
runs quite as deeply as does the Rabbit Rescuer’s, as the latter quit his day
job, left his wife, donned a bunny costume, and built a huge park, a sort of
Outer Haven for multicoloured rabbits, their only refuge from the loneliness
and cruelty of a world that requires Pokemon to seek out human companionship
if they have any real desire for self-improvement. The Rabbit Rescuer (my
name for him) claims that bunnies actually enjoy being pursued, and so he
sends Link out into the Hyrulean countryside to search for them and bring
them into the fold in return for various prizes, mainly Treasure but also a
Heart Piece. Each Realm has its own type of bunny, of which there are 10
each; the refuge becomes quite lively by the time we’re done. This also
prompts a sort of epilogue that involves going to Hyrule Castle Town and
fetching his estranged wife; the two are able to reconcile and begin living
together at Rabbitland Rescue. Both are fond of using the word ‘frolic.’ This
is probably the longest-running and most time-consuming of any sidequest in
the game.
=============================================================================
R a f t o n
Fashioner of rafts
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Oracle of Ages
Rafton has spent much time and effort trying to create a raft able to brave
the seas to the southeast of Labrynna, but he needs a rope that won’t decay
in water. In the Past, an old man named Cheval is working on just such a
thing, and the rope is located in his Present-day tomb. Link brings it to
Rafton in the Present, and as a reward he gets to be the first one to ride
the new Raft, which takes him to Crescent Island and Moonlit Grotto.
=============================================================================
R a l i s
Zora sovereign
Race: Zora
Appearances: Twilight Princess
By the time Twilight-era Hyrule rolls around, the King of the Zoras has died.
When Zant stormed Lanayru Province, he executed the queen, Rutela, as an
example to her people. Ralis was the next in line to be ruler, but he found
himself passed out in Castle Town, far away from home. Telma did her best to
care for him, but the town’s no-account doctor knew little of Zora biology
and so refused to help. They needed an expert. They needed...Renado, in
Kakariko Village! At the behest of Rutela’s spirit, Link travelled to the bar
and, once apprised of the situation, agreed to escort Telma, Ralis and Ilia
to the village, and after a harrowing adventure against a horde of Bokoblin
boar-riders, they arrived. Ralis spent some time recovering and then gave
Link the Zora Armour (what used to be called the Zora Tunic) so he could
enter Lakebed Temple. He spent the rest of the game recovering, then returned
to Zora’s Domain as the new ruler of his people.
=============================================================================
R a l p h
Nayru’s childhood friend
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Oracle of Ages
Ralph is known for his quick temper and headstrong nature. One of those
present at the jamboree when Veran possessed Nayru, he put his life on the
line to try and rescue her. He spends most of the game living in the Past,
working to restore Labrynna to its correct state of affairs. When Ralph saw
that Nayru was in danger, he immediately whipped out a sword, and in so
doing, earned my respect. You just don’t see enough Zelda characters who can
handle themselves around weapons.
=============================================================================
R a u r u
Sage of Light
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Rauru was the man who originally built the Temple of Time to house the Master
Sword, and also the one who devised the locking mechanism to the Sacred
Realm: The Door of Time would only open when the three Spiritual Stones and
the Ocarina of Time were gathered together. Beyond the Door was the Master
Sword, which could only be drawn and wielded by someone of a pure heart. In
this way, Rauru thought he had sealed off the Triforce from evildoers, though
Ganondorf found a workaround. When Link awoke from his seven-year sleep Rauru
was the first to greet him, and was the first of the Sages to provide Link
with the appropriate medallion. Though not the strongest of the Sages or
their destined leader (that’s Zelda), he helped coordinate the actions of the
other five.
============================================================================
R e m
Rapid Eye Movement
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Minish Cap
A narcoleptic shoemaker who eats nothing but apples, Rem runs a modest trade
in Hyrule Castle Town. Some of his best products include Zelda’s very own
shoes, which I don’t believe have ever been seen ever, and the legendary
Pegasus Boots, which are like the Speed Booster or Dash Engine or, uh,
Running Shoes. However, as it turns out, contrary to Rem’s belief that he
makes shoes in his sleep, the horrendous results of his conscious attempts
belying the fine craftsmanship of his unintentional accomplishments, the ones
actually responsible for his products are the ever-helpful Minish, who
fabricate footbags whenever he goes down. This is a direct take on the German
folkloric tale of the Shoemaker and the Elves, where a down-on-his-luck
Rothenburger gains wealth by presenting ‘his’ creations to the Chancellor.
Link learns of this (the Minish, not the German folkloric tale) when he
assumes Minish stature and clambers up onto his workbench. The Pegasus Boots,
as it turns out, are prepped and ready to go, so all Link has to do is awaken
Rem so that the duo can be touched up and sold. One of Syrup’s Wake-Up
Mushrooms does the trick.
=============================================================================
R e n a d o
Community leader
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
As shaman of Kakariko Village, Renado is basically its mayor. He leads the
community in its day-to-day activities, acts as spiritual advisor and is the
local doctor. He has some history with Telma the barmaid, and even though he
says he can’t stand her, they’re really in love. He was also good buddies
with Mayor Bo back in the day. Renado, do-gooder that he is, heals Prince
Ralis and helps Ilia recover her memory.
=============================================================================
R i c h a r d
Imported hero
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Richard was not originally a Zelda character. He hails from a game called
Kaeru no Tame ni Kane wa Naru (‘For Frogs the Bell Tolls’), which was the
starting point for the Link’s Awakening game engine. The game centred around
a peculiar battle system and the ability to transform into a frog or snake as
the Prince of Sable raced against his childhood rival Richard to see who
would be the first to rescue Princess Chiramisu.
Considering the highly referential nature of Link’s Awakening, it’s not
especially surprising that Richard shows up on Koholint. He once lived in
Kanalet Castle, which was supposedly the home of the kings of Koholint long
ago, but his rebellious servants became aggravated and kicked him out.
Richard moved a little ways off and built a small house. Richard’s Villa was
filled with frogs and played a remixed version of the Kane wa Naru title
theme. He is not particularly upset about being kicked out, but he does yearn
for his five precious Golden Leaves. Link enters the castle and returns them
to Richard, receiving the Slime Key for his troubles.
=============================================================================
R i c k y, M o o s h a n d D i m i t r i
Animal friends
Race: Animals
Appearances: Oracle of Seasons
Oracle of Ages
Link’s Awakening featured a village inhabited by a plethora of talking
animals, and I guess Link’s so-called ‘animal partners’ are an extension of
that idea. All three are friendly talking animals with a unique attack, a
unique method of travel, mild importance to the story, and the ability to
reach areas Link can’t get to on his own. Any time before the third dungeon
in either game, Link has a few opportunities to collect a Strange Flute. He
can only ever find one, and the method by which he finds it determines which
animal partner he will have for the duration of the game. Link can play the
Strange Flute at any time in the overworld to summon his buddy, hop on and
take advantage of their talents.
Ricky – A kangaroo who has lost his boxing gloves. Despite pronoun use that
suggests he is male, he has a pouch. Ricky can play Punch-Out!! or charge up
a long-distance whirlwind attack. He can also hop up high ledges.
Moosh – A huge blue bear with tiny angel wings that are somehow strong enough
to carry him long distances. Moosh is terribly afraid of water, however, so
he flatly refuses to fly over it. He’s also perpetually hungry, and afraid of
ghosts. His attack is a ground-pound.
Dimitri – This Dodongo defies convention by not only being friendly, but by
loving swimming. He’s the coolest of the three, and his ability to travel
quickly over water is the most generally useful, but his close-range biting
attack leaves something to be desired.
=============================================================================
R i v e r D e v i l
Folkloric foe
Race: Devil
Appearances: The Adventure of Link
Not a boss, or an enemy, or admittedly even much of a character, but rather
an overworld obstacle of not much higher grade than a bombable boulder, the
River Devil spends his days standing there. He is a hideous midnight-black
multi-armed monstrosity who terrorizes the people of the nearby town of
Nabooru, probably by dragging off small children or something, and certainly
by attacking anyone who gets too close to his river. However, he shares the
Pols Voices’ weakness for loud noises, and is highly suspectible to the tones
of the Whistle. Until Link obtains that little bit of ivory, southeastern
Hyrule is off-limits, which is a problem because the region is home to some
of the more important areas in the whole game. If I recall correctly, unlike
the huge boulder that has to be hit with the Hammer every single time you
want to barge through, the River Devil can only handle one good zap and then
he’s gone for good.
=============================================================================
R o m a n o s
Would-be wayfarer
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
The grown son of the Old Wayfarer, Romanos lives on Molida Island with his
mother. Forced to grow up without a father due to the Old Wayfarer’s
successful but one-way voyage, Romanos harbours a deep grudge against the Old
Wayfarer that stems from his failure to understand why he had to leave him.
Eventually, Romanos comes to see why his father took the actions he did, and
resolves to become more like him and go on an adventure of his own someday,
even opening an archery mini-game in hopes of raising the necessary funds.
I found more to say about River Devil than I did about Romanos? Really?
=============================================================================
R o s a
The only female of her race
Race: Subrosian
Appearances: Oracle of Seasons
Rosa is easily identifiable by her red robes (most Subrosians wear green) and
the big pink bow she wears on her head. Link enters Subrosia for the first
time by furtively following her into a portal. Later, she loses her bow, but
like the do-gooder he is, Link finds it and returns it. They go on a brief
date, which advances the game a little and indirectly leads to the Rod of
Seasons regaining another function (Summer, if I remember correctly).
=============================================================================
R o s a S i s t e r s
Dancing queens
Race: Hylians
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
Bearing no relation to the subject of the previous profile, the Rosa Sisters
are dancers with Gorman’s troupe. The girl in red is called Judo, and her
blue-clothed counterpart is named Marillo. The current focal point of their
lives is the development of a new dance they’re determined to choreograph in
preparation for their performance at the Carnival of Time, but sadly they
just can’t seem to find the ‘spark.’ They can’t focus, they can’t create, and
they can’t agree, and everything they come up with just turns out to be a
retread of their existing work. They want something new, something unlike
anything they’ve ever done before. Ironically, their inspiration comes from
something ancient, or at least old: Deceased dance master Kamaro, who gives
up his mask when Link plays the Song of Healing for him. When he dons
Kamaro’s Mask, Link is able to perform the old man’s soon-to-be-world-famous
dance, funky music and all. When he does so in front of the twins, they freak
out and realise it’s exactly the sort of thing they’ve been looking for this
entire time (and give him a Heart Piece in gratitude). Every night, the Rosa
Sisters practise their dance in the square in West Clock Town; after Link
teaches them his moves, they’ll be found practising that particular dance in
place of their own tired ones. Having said that, might as well also mention
that by day, they lounge in their room at the Stock Pot Inn with the rest of
the troupe.
=============================================================================
R u p i i j i
Some old guy
Race: I think Hylian
Appearances: Mogitate Chinkuru no Barairo Rupiirando
Rupiiji kick-starts Mogitate Tingle by offering Tingle the chance to enter a
paradisial realm of happiness and sunshine. Tingle, bored by his middle-aged
life, is more than eager to take on this fascinating new challenge. To help
him accomplish what would otherwise be an impossible quest, Rupiiji gives
Tingle a magical Rupee-collecting suit and outfits him with various pieces of
equipment. The suit may even give Tingle limited powers of time travel, since
he appears in several eras, but that’s probably just me being silly. Anyway,
you’ll be interested to know Rupiiji’s head is actually shaped like a Rupee,
and what’s more, his name means Old Man Rupee (haha, or maybe Uncle Rupee!)
=============================================================================
R u s s e l l
Big blonde-bearded bruiser
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Spirit Tracks
Link meets Russell shortly after obtaining the Recruit’s Uniform, a disguise
that allows him to run freely about the castle, including restricted areas,
in spite of all the guards having clearly seen him in his Engineer’s Clothes
only minutes before. In desperate need of a weapon, he runs to the Castle
training centre to be issued a sword. Russell, clad in the more practical cap
of 19th Century soldiery that indicates an officer, has Link train with his
new Recruit’s Sword to show that he can handle himself with it, teaching him
the basic moves in the process. Some time later, Link will learn that he has
an opportunity for futher traiing, which, for a 20-Rupee fee, takes the form
of the same exercise found in The Wind Waker and Phantom Hourglass: Hit the
opponent 999 times before being hit 3 times. The difference here is that this
time it’s three-on-one, and not only do the spear-wielding soldiers become
more aggressive as your score climbs, but they start working together and
acquire new techniques as the battle wears on. This dynamic makes this
version of the contest the hardest by far, but there are a few rewards,
including random treasures and, if you complete it, the rank of Captain and
having all guards bow in your presence, which is a little bit funny.
=============================================================================
R u s l
Strapping village stalwart
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
Rusl’s face is the first thing you see when you start up your Twilight
Princess file, so he effectively kick-starts the game, by pontificating about
the mysteries of that elusive space between the dark and the light. Rusl is a
big fan of swords, and he not only gives Link the Wooden Sword to practise
with, but later offers up the ceremonial Ordon Sword that was intended as an
offering to Princess Zelda, which he forged himself. When Ordon Village is
attacked by a Bulblin raiding party shortly after the beginning of the game,
Rusl courageously attempts to fight them off, but is defeated at the hands of
King Bulblin. The injuries he sustains in this fight put him out of
commission for a long while; combined with Link’s departure, this leaves the
village all but defenceless, and to make matters worse, the children are all
kidnapped, including Rusl’s son Colin. And know what, his wife, Uli, spends
the first few minutes of the game looking for their daughter, who has been
kidnapped by a monkey, so these two have really bad luck. Later, we encounter
him as part of the Resistance movement being run out of Telma’s Bar, in which
he somehow comes up with a Golden Cucco to help us enter the Temple of Time
(the man has serious skills), and appears with the other three operatives to
get in a nice violent brawl during Link’s final assault on Hyrule Castle.
Here he demonstrates his hawk-commanding skills, which is really making it
seem like a pretty common ability in Ordon Village. I assume that when he’s
in the village and in good health, Rusl is a farmer as well as a swordsman,
because a place with so few people needs every labourer possible, and it’s
not like he has something better to do when they’re not being attacked
anyhow.
In the first version of this guide, I decided not to give Rusl his own
profile, but given the number of undeserving characters who have somehow
managed to get their own profile, I’ve releneted due to his coolness.
Yes, there are two people in the Zelda series who have this name, and yes,
they are both skilled with swords and give Link his first one.
=============================================================================
R u t o
Pluckiness defined
Race: Zora
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Princess Ruto’s main job is as attendant to Jabu-Jabu, the Zora deity. She
would often enter Jabu-Jabu’s belly and wander around inside him, knowing
that it was not particularly dangerous for her. She was imperilled, however,
when the monster known as Barinade and his various underlings invaded Jabu-
Jabu’s body on Ganondorf’s orders. Searching for her Spiritual Stone of
Water, which Jabu-Jabu had incidentally swallowed while being fed, Ruto
accidentally fell through a permeable membrane and became hopelessly lost.
Luckily, Link was seeking her out, as he knew she had the Spiritual Stone and
was trying to collect them.
After he found Ruto, she followed him around and let him carry her on his
shoulders. They worked together to escape Jabu-Jabu’s Belly, with Ruto
performing such roles as keeping switches depressed so that Link could
proceed. (She has other uses, too, which exploit her invincibility – namely
you can throw her at Biri to pop them. She is not particularly impressed with
such behaviour.) Eventually, Link is able to defeat Barinade.
Ruto lets him choose his reward, and he picks the Zora’s Sapphire. This is an
item of special significance to Ruto because it was given to her by her dead
mother. She received it with instructions to give it to the man she intended
to marry – and Link is pretty cute, so she happily hands over the Zora’s
Engagement Ring.
After Ganondorf’s takeover, all of Zora’s Domain is covered under ice, and
its inhabitants with it. Sheik finds Ruto under the ice and frees her, but is
unable to do the same for her people. Ruto is regretful on this point but
starts to work against Ganondorf, and ends up encountering Link in the Water
Temple. Ruto is pretty angry that Link has been out of touch, but she sets
their differences aside so they can conquer the Water Temple together.
Actually, Ruto doesn’t do a whole lot, but she does help somewhat. After Link
beats Morpha, Ruto awakens as the Sage of Water.
She reluctantly points out that Sages can never marry, and so she must break
the vows she and Link made so long ago. Harsh. Then again, Link probably
isn’t too bummed.
=============================================================================
S a h a s r a h l a
Old Man’s successor
Race: Hylian
Appearances: A Link to the Past
Sahrashla is every bit the wise elder, sporting a long white beard and
spouting nonsense no one can understand. He originally lived in Kakariko
Village but smartly skipped town when the Hyrule Castle Guards set up shop.
Link finds him living as a recluse near the Eastern Palace. He explains the
ancient history of the Master Sword, the story of the Seven Wise Men (that
is, the Seven Sages from Ocarina of Time, only two of whom were actually men)
and Link’s new quest: To find the Pendants of Courage, Wisdom and Power. He
provides the Pegasus Boots after Link acquires the first of the three.
Skilled in telepathy, Sahrahla psychically contacts Link several times
throughout the game. He also provides a little advice when Link touches a
Triforce tile. After Ganon is ousted, Sahrahla returns home and everybody
parties.
Saharahla’s name comes from Nintendo of America’s ever-terrible Romanization.
His Japanese name, Sahasurara, refers to Sahasrara, the highest chakra in the
Hindu Tantric tradition.
=============================================================================
S a l e
Sells things
Race: Alligator
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Sale’s House of Bananas can be found at Toronbo Shores on the southern coast
of Koholint Island. His potassium emporium doesn’t seem to have anything up
for purchase, but the fellow is willing to strike up a deal if you can come
up with something to his liking. Fortunately, Sale helpfully lets us know
that his life’s passion lies with the curation of canned goods, and so armed
with this knowledge we can figure out that the Dog Food from Madame MeowMeow
is exactly the ticket. This is part of the Trading Game, which is pretty much
where Sale’s usefulness ends. Although we were expecting Sale to add the can
to his collection, he actually ends up tossing it straight down the hatch and
swallowing it in one gulp, which...kind of makes you wonder, but as long as
he’s happy.
Sale has a brother in Animal Village named Schule Donavitch.
=============================================================================
S a l v a g e C o r p.
Undersea scavengers
Race: Hylians
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Salvage Corp. is cool because they’re one of a number of groups that actually
travel around the sea, like Link, Beedle, or Fishman. Their craft seems to be
a submarine, but is apparently not submersible. The three men spend their
days trolling the ocean floor for treasure, using what appears to be about
1920s-era diving equipment, searching for that one big haul that will set
them on the free and easy for the rest of their lives. When Link talks to
them, they give him various Sea Charts that they think they don’t need, but
if they’re strapped for cash maybe they should be holding onto them. Towards
the end of the game, they start searching for the golden Triumph Forks, but
without the Triforce Charts it’s safe to say they never had a hope of finding
them.
=============================================================================
S a l v a t o r e
Bored employee
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Phantom Hourglass
Most of us can identify with Salvatore because we’ve been there. We’ve been
stuck working demeaning, pointless jobs that we can’t leave because being
poor isn’t very fun, and so we grind through them, shift after shift.
Salvatore’s arbeit is particularly boring because most of the time all he
ever does ever is sit behind his dais with his chin in his hand, on the off-
chance someone might wander at random into the Windfall Island windmill and
suddenly have the urge to play the game he’s running. Pretty dull stuff, but
eventually, he does get a customer. Actually, I wonder if Link was in fact
the only one he ever got.
Regardless, Salvatore springs into action. Donning a cardboard cutout that
gives him a salty backdrop and a pirate captain’s hat, he launches into a
desperate tale of an attack on the island. The children are in danger! You,
the player, are tasked with protecting them, apparently by shooting Bombs at
them. He really gets into it, even adding voices and sound effects. Then the
game starts, and you find out it’s a lot like Battleship. Link has a limited
number of shots to fire at any location of his choice on a large grid; if the
one he chooses is empty, Salvatore will go ‘SmiiIIIiish!” and a red x will
appear; otherwise, he’ll blow into a trumpt and a hit marker will
materialise. The goal is to pick a pattern that makes optimal use of your
shots, then hoping you’re lucky enough to detect and destroy all four
attacking ships before you run out of ammunition. It’s kind of fun. It may
take a couple of tries to win due to the random ship layout that may screw
you over due to simple bad luck, but the prizes are very worthy of your time.
You can meet Salvatore again on another island, so small that his dais is
just about all it can accommodate, where he runs a different mini-game, this
one seeing Link firing a cannon at a number of targets. This one’s pretty ok
too. Mila eventually takes over his night shift.
The first time I saw Salvatore – tall, blonde, and moustachioed – I imagined
he was about 18. I’m no longer sure if that’s possible.
Salvatore reappears in Phantom Hourglass, this time running a cannon game on
Bannan Island. This time he illustrates the rules with a puppet show. But I
have to wonder, how did yet ANOTHER Waker character manage to venture so far
afield from their home base? If not for the S.S. Linebeck riding the horizon
at the end of Hourglass, I’d be tempted to call the entire game Koholint
Island Redux.
=============================================================================
S a r i a
Link’s childhood friend
Race: Kokiri
Appearances: Ocarina of Time
Link was always disliked and picked on for not having a fairy of his own.
Saria was the one Kokiri who never teased him. Like Medli to Komali, she was
both a love interest and a mother figure to him. She was also quite brave,
brazenly entering the dangerous Lost Woods and exploring them thoroughly. Her
favourite place is the Sacred Forest Meadow, right outside the Forest Temple.
Saria has what is said to be the most touching moment in any Zelda game: The
time when Link must leave the forest behind, and that means Saria, too. She
wordlessly gives him her favourite Fairy Ocarina, then runs off, crying. I
wasn’t that affected by it, but perhaps I am just cold and heartless.
She teaches him Saria’s Song, which sounds suspiciously like the Lost Woods
theme, so that he can play it for Darunia and cheer him up. When Link takes
his seven-year hiatus, Saria is captured and imprisoned in the Forest Temple
by Phantom Ganon and the ‘Little Women’ Poe Sisters. When Link rescues her,
she awakens as the Sage of Forest and gives him the Forest Medallion.
=============================================================================
S c h u l e D o n a v i t ch
Morita-daisensei...!
Race: Alligator
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
Bearing the single best name anyone has ever had, Schule Donavitch is a
successful sculptor living in Animal Village. In fact, it was Donavitch who
sculpted the Mermaid Statue at the lookout point of Martha’s Bay. When
combined with his brother, Sale, a connoisseur of fine canned goods, the duo
forms a cleverly subtle reference to Andy Warhol, a celebrated mid-20th
Century American artist who painted a can of Campbell’s Tomato Soup in 1968,
which became really famous for no real reason. He (Donavitch, not Warhol) is
also listed in one instance as ‘Art Alligator’, but let’s be serious.
=============================================================================
S e r a
Demo doll
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
Although her appearance was only fleeting, Sera instantaneously became one of
the ‘faces’ of Twilight Princess by showing herself in the E3 2005 demo vid.
Hanch’s wife and Beth’s mother, she owns and operates Sera’s Sundries, the
tool and supply shop from which Link purchases the Slingshot, one of his
first acquisitions and an item with which he can wow all the local boys and
girls. She also gives him a bottle of Milk, which, more importantly than the
6 hearts it restores, becomes one of those always-useful Empty Bottles, good
for storing everything from Fairies to Potions to, in this game for the first
time, Lantern Oil.
She’s also the owner of a cat named after Link, who runs way when Sera fails
to give him fish for dinner, and is initially found trying to grab some
straight out of the river and roundly failing. After Hylian Link catches one
for him, he snatches it and runs back to the shop, returning Sera to good
spirits. This cat, incidentally, turns out to be surprisingly articulate and
well-informed when you speak to him in wolf form.
=============================================================================
S h i r o
Invisible Man
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
A dedicated soldier in the ranks of civilized Termina’s corps of Hylian
soldiers, Shiro was ambushed by Garo in the Road to Ikana. I imagine he put
up a terrific struggle, but was ultimately overwhelmed by the numbers and
battle prowess of the ninja (who were in no way his brethren.) Or maybe he
just fell down and hurt himself, but either way his injuries have prevented
him from moving from his spot for a number of years. He sits invisibly in a
ring of rocks at the junction between the road to Romani Ranch and the actual
road to Ikana, yelling and calling for help and waving his arms to try and
get somebody’s attention, all uselessly, although a nearby Gossip Stone does
point him out. Eventually, Link pulls through with the Lens of Truth, notices
him there, and moseys over for a chat. Startled that someone was kind enough
to pay attention to him, Shiro then asks a further favour: If he’s ever gonna
get out of this mess, he needs to revitalize his body and mind. He needs a
Red Potion. When Link graciously offers him a swig, he receives the Stone
Mask in return. Rocks on the ground, Shiro, and the Stone Mask are all
equally interesting, so in such a disguise Link can wander around anywhere he
pleases and no one even cares. It’s no Bunny Hood, but it certainly makes
Gerudo’s Fortress less stressful. Sam Fisher, Solid Snake, Konohamaru and
Ayame would be proud.
=============================================================================
S i m o n
& Schuster
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Minish Cap
A precociously enterprising proprietor of Simon’s Simulations, this youngster
will urge you to test your mettle against an array of enemies he’s prepared
for all comers. If Link does as Simon says, he’ll have him take a nap in a
snug cot inside the site, and, in a sequence of events straight out of
Koholint Island’s Dream Shrine, he’ll seemingly awaken a moment later only to
find himself under attack. This is the ‘simulations’ part of it. Even so
Simon warns that he can’t guarantee the participant’s safety, and that they’d
better stay sharp if they don’t want to actually die. Strangely, injuries
sustained in the simulation will manifest themselves in the real world, while
real-world scars and deformations keep their distance from the simulation,
which is one piece of evidence some fans use to suggest that the real world
is in fact just a second simulation stacked on top of the original to make
its prisoners THINK they’ve escaped. Defeating the enemy onslaught will
trigger a rude awakening and the appearance of a Heart Piece.
=============================================================================
S k u l l K i d a n d F r i e n d s
Forest imp and his fairy companions
Race: Skull Kid and fairies
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
Skull Kid – Skull Kids were minor enemies from the Lost Woods in Ocarina of
Time. Actually, enemies is a bad word, since they were only a nuisance as an
adult and outright helpful as a child. Legend dictates that Hylian children
or Kokiri who get lost in the Lost Woods turn into Skull Kids. There is one
particular Skull Kid in the Lost Woods who befriends Link when he gives him
the Skull Mask as part of the mask-trading game; possibly, this is the same
Skull Kid from Majora’s Mask.
At any rate, Skull Kid lived in Clock Town and Termina Field long before Link
got there. No one liked him because he was always playing pranks on everyone
and making mischief. He became very sad because he badly wanted friends, but
no one even wanted to be seen talking to him. One day, however, he met Tatl
and Tael, and they all got on quite well. He also soon met and befriended the
Four Giants, the patron deities of Termina who resided in its cardinal
directions and protected it from harm. However, he was still angry with
society, and in an act of rebellion he stole Majora’s Mask from the Happy
Mask Salesman. The mask quickly took over, transforming his mischievous
nature into patent malevolence. He causes a great deal of pain for everyone
in the land, imprisons the Four Giants, and, worst of all, sets the moon on a
collision course that would destroy everything. Now we’re all wishing we’d
never shunned him.
We spy Skull Kid a couple of times around Clock Town, but we mostly see him
in Termina’s final moments as he waits for all to be obliterated. Link
eventually learns and plays the Oath to Order, halting the moon’s descent and
forcing Majora’s Mask off Skull Kid. In the closing credits, we see that
everyone has come around and realised Skull Kid is an okay guy after all.
Tatl – Tatl serves as this game’s version of Navi, pointing things out,
providing information and facilitating Z-Targeting. There are a few key
differences, however. First and foremost, Tatl has way more dialogue and a
lot more character. Whereas I described Navi as spunky, Tatl is sassy. She
also serves as Link’s voice many times throughout the game, even having full
conversations with certain individuals.
She is also significantly younger than Navi and not quite as smart. She has a
lot of good ideas, but her knowledge of enemies is sub-par, to say the least.
‘Just...hit it with your sword or something!’ indeed. Her means of getting
your attention is also more subdued, and, some would say, less annoying – she
merely dings instead of yelling ‘Hey!’ ‘Listen!’ ‘He-LOOOoo!’ ‘Watch out!’ or
‘Ploom!’ As Navi is a pun on the word navigation, Tatl and Tael form the word
tattle-tale. Plus, Tatl herself ‘tattles’ on enemies, in the same way that
Goombella uses her Tattle move in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year-Door.
Tael – Tael is a dark purple character to his older sister’s blinding white.
While Tatl agrees to work with Link to restore the proper state of affairs,
Tael sticks with Skull Kid, sycophantically following him around everywhere
he goes, despite the abuse he takes. I’ll let you guess which one of the
fairies made the better choice.
There was also a Skull Kid in Twilight Princess that you had to chase around
the woods as part of acquiring the Master Sword. OH MY GOD, was that ever
annoying. At one point I lost sight of it and ended up running around
aimlessly for like ten minutes trying to figure out which way it went, with
stupid puppet-things falling on my head the entire time. They were frickin’
relentless; they got on my nerves so much I actually started yelling at them.
Then when you corner the Skull Kid, you have to play a stupid game of hide-
and-snipe, which would have been fine if I hadn’t already been aggravated
from the first half of the job. I hated that part of the game.
=============================================================================
S o a l
Shoeshiner
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
A sort of Dickensian kid who hangs around the Hyrule Castle Town market
square trying to scrape together enough to get by, Soal will shine Link’s
boots for 10 Rupees, allowing him to enter Chudley’s Fine Goods and Fancy
Trinkets Emporium, from which the doorman will turn him away if his shoes run
unshined and in front of which Soal coincidentally sits.
=============================================================================
S o k r a
K K Slider’s blood brother
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Oracle of Seasons
A wandering minstrel, Sokra appears every so often to wax poetic on
Holodrum’s current state of affairs. In that sense, he’s one of the few
people who’s ‘plugged in’ to the real story (that is, Onox) behind the
rapidly shifting seasons. He shows up a few times in the early going to keep
Link in the know, but after that he just hangs out in Horon Village and
prepares an elegy for Holodrum. Something about the guitar, the robes, the
sunglasses, and the shaved head makes me think he’s something referential,
like the Blues Brothers or something, but I can’t place it.
=============================================================================
S o r c e r e s s V e r a n
Never actually casts even one spell
Race: Hylian? Possibly demon... I’ve also heard Gerudo but I doubt it
Appearances: Oracle of Ages
Ganondorf has always coveted Hyrule, because if he ever got it fully under
his control, he would effectively have the whole universe in his grasp. Veran
had similar dreams of domination but, being a much less powerful magician,
confined herself to the comparatively inconsequential Labrynna, a land well
known for its long and storied history. In particular, it is remembered for a
critical turning point 400 years ago, when it really began to prosper and
grow.
As Din was the steward of Holodrum, Nayru, the Oracle of Ages, assumed a
similar role in Labrynna. Veran planned out exactly how to use Nayru’s time-
travelling abilities to wreak havoc on the land, and used her own powers of
possession to do it. After first possessing Impa and using this form to trick
Link into allowing her access to Nayru, she quickly took control of Nayru and
used this position to travel 400 years into the past, to that time of looming
prosperity. Acting quickly, Veran began making alterations to that time, and,
now in the body of Ambi, Queen of Labrynna, forced the people to fortify her
newfound position and stands poised to take over.
Unfortunately for Veran, she has the likes of Nayru (now released; Veran can
possess only one individual at a time), Ralph, Impa, and Link working against
her, not to mention every ally of theirs, such as the monkeys, the Great
Fairies, etc. With such odds against her, only her trickery could save her,
which she employed to great effect...but not enough. She encountered Link
several times as she strove to take over completely, and was defeated each
time. In the end, even as True Veran, her ultimate form, she was unable to
overcome the Hero of Hyrule, and the timeline was set right.
Link found out later on that she was really working as an agent of Koume and
Kotake, the Gerudo sisters hellbent on reviving their surrogate son, but
luckily he was able to overcome that difficulty as well, so it’s all good.
=============================================================================
S p i r i t s o f G o o d
Nobody really knows
Race: Lesser deities
Appearances: Spirit Tracks
Sort of the counterparts to the Spirits of Power, Wisdom and Courage from
Phantom Hourglass (who are up next) and the patron deities of Hyrule Nouveau,
the Spirits of Good are described in only the vaguest terms possible.
Apparently they were responsible for originally locking Malladus away, and
maybe their influence can be felt during the events of Spirit Tracks or
something. That’s about all we get. By the way, in my opinion all ‘spirits’
are good, if you catch my drift.
=============================================================================
S p i r i t s o f P o w e r, W i s d o m, a n d C o u r a g e
Trifecta
Race: Fairies...and perhaps lesser deities
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
This trio apparently serves to assist the Ocean King in his day-to-day
functions, which I imagine involves repelling evil, regulating the sea
currents, answering the occasional prayer, and that sort of thing. To that
end, although insignificant in the grand scheme of things their powers are
quite substantial unto themselves, so they really have a lot to work with.
Even so, they were powerless when Bellum roared onto the scene seemingly out
of nowhere, knocked the Ocean King into next week, and then moved onto them.
Ciela, the Spirit of Courage and strongest or at least most intelligent of
the three, managed not to get captured but had her powers and memories rent
from her very body. Although kind of useless as a deity now, she was still an
extremely useful agent to the broken shell that the Ocean King had become,
and partly for that reason (but mainly because of his compassion) he kept her
safe by his side. Anyway, that’s not important, you can read about all the
cool stuff Ciela does in her profile. While she was hanging with Uncle Oshus,
Leaf, Spirit of Power (coloured red because of the Power affiliation in spite
of being named Leaf), and Neri, Spirit of Wisdom (blue, of course...Ciela,
naturally, is white >_>) both got thrown into dungeons, to be guarded by
vicious boss monsters.
In grave danger himself and seeing his realm falling farther and farther into
darkness every day, the Ocean King realises he needs allies, and, on a chance
encounter, manages to rope Link into saving the world again, though all he
was planning on doing was rescuing Zelda. The Ocean King figures that a good
place to start is to gather his allies around him once more, and so he sends
Link on a quest to collect the three Spirits. After a little bit, Link
collects the first two (whom he keeps in his bag, like everything else) and
then restores Ciela. Leaf and Neri, and Ciela, are all capable of opening a
specific door in the Temple of the Ocean King, a reasonable security measure
on his part. After that, Leaf and Neri don’t do much, but can power up Link’s
attack or defence, respectively, with the help of Spirit Gems he collects.
All three, of course, stay with the Ocean King when Link leaves at the end of
the game.
=============================================================================
S t o c k w e l l
Constitutional reformer
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Minish Cap
Owner of Hyrule Castle Town’s supply depot, Stockwell sells various
expendable items as well as more interesting ones, like Wallet upgrades. He
is always seen working feverishly on some damn thing or another, apparently
like paperwork or an abacus or something. As a result, his dog Fifi (grhghrrr
must...not...wretch) says that he never has time to feed it, so, in a fit of
temporary insanity, Link decides to help it, requiring him to run to Mama’s
Cafe, shrink himself down, walk the plank between the two buildngs’ chimneys,
and slip behind Stockwell’s counter, where he has set down a Bottle of its
food and forgotten about it. Link grabs the food and gives it to the rank
beast, after which a grateful Stockwell lets him keep the Empty Bottle for
his own use, and in response, Link immediately scours it for 24 hours
straight.
Stockwell’s design is sort of interesting, as he sports an undersized hat, a
prehensile moustache, onion-like nose, inquisitive glasses, and what appears
to be some kind of take-off on traditional Chinese dress, maybe. He’s also
quite kindly and always cordial and respectful, especially when customers are
around. Although he works in Hyrule Castle Town, he lives in a small house
near Lake Hylia. Townspeople call him Stockwell the well-stocked, how clever.
Stockwell either bears an incredible resemblance to the shopkeeper from the
Oracle saga, or is the same person. In these games he owns the town tool shop
where he sells both common and rare items, and sells the series’s first form
of membership card. Later, he runs a treasure chest mini-game in the
basement, where you are made to choose one of two treasure chests, one of
which is empty; if you choose correctly three times in a row, you win a rare
something, usually a ring. Following this, you can either keep what you won
(without really knowing what it is, since it hasn’t been appraised yet) or
wager it double-or-nothing style for a shot at a better prize.
=============================================================================
S t u r g e o n a n d O r c a
Super Sword Bros
Race: Hylians
Appearances: The Wind Waker
The Minish Cap
You might not think it by looking at them, but in their younger days Sturgeon
and Orca sailed the bounding main together on a quest to gather Knight’s
Crests. Their goal of gathering ten such items took them many years of hard
work and long hours of careful sword practise. They honed their skills
against each other and then tested them against increasingly stronger
monsters.
In the end, Orca was injured so badly that he was no longer able to fight
properly with a sword. They had accomplished their dream, though, so the two
returned to their home of Outset Island and built a house together. Sturgeon
took the top floor while Orca stayed on the bottom. It is of questionable
wisdom that the less-fit brother is required to climb a ladder to enter his
home, but there you have it.
After coming home, Sturgeon married and had a daughter named Sue-Belle. He
soon became a widower, however. His daughter had moved to Windfall Island but
eventually returns to live with her father, worried about his ailing health.
Sturgeon has an abnormally high IQ and a very large head. He has words of
wisdom posted on his walls, and he is quite happy to impart a little
knowledge to Link if he asks. Sturgeon greatly enjoys standing on his balcony
and looking out to sea, which calms his addled nerves. Alas, he is frequently
interrupted by Orca’s body slamming the wall downstairs, which often ends up
shattering priceless vases.
Orca can no longer fight with a sword, but he still maintains his daily
training with a spear. He once wielded a giant sword (that he now keeps on
his wall), so you know he must have been good – and he is quite willing to
take Link on as his pupil. Every sword technique Link can learn comes from
Orca. When he sees that Link has come so far as to have collected ten
Knight’s Crests of his own, Orca cries tears of unbridled joy. Late in the
game, Link can challenge Orca to a sparring match in which he must hit Orca
999 times before Orca hits him 3 times. If he wins, Orca will say that Link
has surpassed him and will call him Master from then on.
When you win, he has this to say: ‘My arms are sore! Is your left index
finger not sore?’ After twenty minutes of L-Targeting, you bet it was. I
laughed out loud when that happened.
Sturgeon was a librarian in The Minish Cap, I guess because of his love of
all things related to study and the acquisition of knowledge. He balances
books on his head.
=============================================================================
S u e - B e l l e
Filial obligation and all
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Sue-Belle is the pinkclad, purple-haired girl on Outset Island who walks
around with the vase on her head. I’ve heard both that she is Sturgeon’s
granddaughter and her daughter; the former is more likely, the latter more
interesting. Either way, she formerly lived on Windfall Island - which is
where she met her best friend, Linda, to whom she gave the girl her signature
orange dress, perhaps as a parting gift – before moving in with Sturgeon to
see to his declining health. As such, she spends every second of her spare
time carrying fresh water from the trough to the house, a task she supposedly
gets a great deal of satisfaction from, which is more than a little weird of
her. If you manage to break her vase, by, say, shooting it, she’ll scream at
you and force you to compensate her for the cost, which is not weird of her.
=============================================================================
T e a c h e r
Tiichaa
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Spirit Tracks
Princess Zelda’s elderly personal tutor and a minor administrator, Teacher’s
main role is as ceremonial figurehead and go-to guy for any miscellaneous
official duties that need attending to. Despite the nonexistent glamour of
his work, however, he actually manages to show a little initiative. After
having gotten over his paralysing shock following Zelda’s apparent
disappearance and subsequently refusing to believe Link’s possession
explanation, he contemplates deploying the Royal Guard to search for her (but
decides against it due to the panic it would cause), proving that he has both
authority and enterprise. A little later on, he goes as far as to disguise
himself - badly, as his large nose and oversized spectacles give him away at
once - and attempt to look for the Princess himself. Despite Zelda’s
protests, Link gives him a lift to whatever random place Teacher decides she
might inexplicably be, and receives a small reward for his help, the highest
one being 300 Rupees for a flawlessly smooth ride. His assurance that he has
some money he can give you in exchange for your services implies that he’s
actually looking for Zelda on his own paycheque, further evidence that he’s
an all-around good, reliable guy. Sometime after your delivery, you can
actually find him somewhere else, showing that he managed to catch a lift
with someone else as well, yet more proof of his resourcefulness. Although a
little inept and somewhat absentminded, it’s clear that Teacher does a little
more than draw picture of flowers on his notepad all day.
=============================================================================
T e l m a
Busty barmaid
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
This kind, middle-aged lady runs Telma’s Bar in South Castle Town. Link
doesn’t go there for the food or even the booze, though. In reality, the bar
is really just a front for a secret resistance movement opposing the evil
influence that has spread across Hyrule. There’s even a secret underground
passage between the bar and the Hyrule Castle sewers. The number of active
members is quite small, but they do their best.
Telma – Telma runs the movement; I guess you could say she acts as controller
for the operatives. She also takes in Ilia when she finds her stumbling
around in an amnesiac state. She also briefly cares for Prince Ralis when he
collapses in front of her bar. When Link escorts Ralis and Ilia to Kakariko,
Telma drives the wagon, keeping her cool even under pressure.
Auru – Auru studies the desert from the safe distance of Lake Hylia. When
Link confronts him, we find out he’s an old friend of Fyer, who agrees to
fire Link into the desert from his special cannon. This allows him to enter
the ancient prison, the Arbiter’s Grounds.
Ashei – A young woman who is a good friend to the Zora people, Ashei
investigates when a yeti starts rampaging through their territory. She helps
Link figure out that he needs to learn the Reekfish scent, allowing him
access to Snowpeak Ruins.
Rusl – Link’s sword instructor from Ordon Village, husband of Uli and father
of Colin. He takes a beating when the Bokoblin gang raids the village, but
begins scouring Hyrule for the children as soon as he’s recovered. We don’t
see him again until much later, when he summons a Golden Cucco to help us
reach the Temple of Time.
Shad - A seriously devoted scholar who studies the ancient Sky People (or as
we know them, the Oocca.) He is responsible for us restoring power to the
Dominion Rod and thus finding the giant cannon necessary to get us to the
City in the Sky.
These four finally show up all in the same place – Telma’s Bar, at their
usual spot – towards the end, and halfway through the Hyrule Castle dungeon
they save us the trouble of what would have been a moderately difficult
fight.
Unbeknownst to Telma, her cat Louise is also a member of the movement.
=============================================================================
T e t r a ’ s C r e w
Scurvy sea dogs
Race: Hylians
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Phantom Hourglass
Spirit Tracks
Tetra and her pirates sail all across the Great Sea in search of treasure,
romance, and adventure. Every crewmember is assigned a specific task and
perfects it. Together, the crew works like a somewhat well oiled machine.
Tetra – Technically the captain, the pirates address her as Miss. Their last
Miss, Tetra’s mother, died young, which is how Tetra became Miss at only
twelve. Though not aware of her true identity until later, Tetra still knows
much of the lore of Hyrule, and she searches constantly for the shards of the
Triforce. Her mother left her a magical gem that she gives Link to
communicate with him, temporarily functioning as that game’s Navi; King of
Red Lions took over after the Forsaken Fortress mission, able to use it since
he too is of the Hylian Royal Family.
Hylian Royal Family? Yeah, she’s actually Princess Zelda. Read more about her
in that profile if you so fancy. (Her PH info is located there, too. Lazy
though it may be, I try to cut down on redundancy where I can.)
Gonzo – A big burly guy who says his favourite thing is Miss Tetra, Gonzo is
her second-in-command and takes over for her when she’s not around. He’s the
one with the green shirt and tattoo. He is responsible for keeping the crew
coordinated.
Senza – Or maybe that’s Senza’s job, in addition to negotiating. He’s the one
with the beard and copious chest hair. His persuasive skills are said to be
unmatched, and he is the crew’s mild-mannered, de facto diplomat.
Nudge – The guy wearing the purple shirt, Nudge is the strongest of the
pirates and the one who understands Tetra the best. He operates the ship’s
cannon (cannon, in the plural.)
Zuko – The telescope-toting lookout spends most of his time in the Crow’s
Nest, shouting out what he sees to whoever’s on bridge. Unfortunately, they
have a hard time understanding him, to their occasional detriment.
Mako – Resembling Professor Ouyama from the Mario series, Mako is a walking
encyclopaedia. He always carries around a thick Book of Stuff, in which he
actually hides a knife. He’s quite deceptive, unstoppable when mad and has
sharp eyesight due to his glasses.
Niko – As the youngest and newest member of the crew, Niko gets stuck with
all the jobs nobody else wants to do, much to his chagrin. Still, he shows
pirate potential if he can curb his reckless nature. He runs a rope-swinging
game below decks.
Oddly, only Niko is seen in Phantom Hourglass, and only in the intro, when he
recaps TWW for us. Weirdly enough, he is then further seen in Spirit Tracks,
where he recaps events that nobody ever witnessed because they’re backstory
rather than merely another game, and which took place sometime after PH’s end
- 100 years prior to the beginning of ST! As the only surviving character
from the TWW-PH era besides Beedle (...), Niko subsequently becomes a fairly
important minor character herein, almost to the point of deserving his own
profile. Almost. He also hands out one of the game’s cooler side-quests,
which has you travelling the lands collecting stamps for him (a possible
throwback to Tetra’s Trackers, funny enough). After you’ve collected a few,
he’ll reward you with TWW Link’s shield, your own Engineer’s Clothes that you
had at the start of the game, and, finally, the Great Spin Attack.
=============================================================================
T i n g l e
General annoyance
Race: Hylian, despite his best efforts
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
Oracle of Seasons
Oracle of Ages
The Wind Waker
Four Swords Adventures
The Minish Cap
Mogitate Chinkuru no Barairo Rupiirando
Chinkuru no Baruun Faito
Irozuki Chinkuru no Koi no Baruun Torippu
To be honest, I’m having trouble figuring out what to say about Tingle. I
probably shouldn’t spend any more time on him than I have to, considering
that so many people hate him on principle. Ok, let’s try: He’s a 35-year-old
man who is obsessed with collecting Rupees and lives under the belief that he
is a fairy. He wears an odd green suit and is tiny. His father, the guy who
runs the Pictograph Contest in Southern Swamp, really wishes he would act his
age. You will also note that though he originated in a parallel universe, he
has hopped the gap to ‘real’ Hyrule, and has transcended time by appearing in
games that are hundreds of years apart from one another (though neither of
these last two traits are unique to Tingle, because all Zelda stories are
more or less self-contained, except the direct sequels.)
In Majora’s Mask, he is often found drawing maps from a high vantage point –
by which I mean he inflates a big red balloon, affixes it to his back, and
floats high into the air, waiting for someone to knock him down so he can
sell his wares. This was where he introduced his magic words: ‘Tingle!
Tingle! Kooloo-limpah!’ If you hadn’t heard of Tingle before you read this
FAQ, I am amazed that you are still reading this profile.
In the Oracle saga, he again waited for people to knock him down, at which
point he would offer up a Quest Item or a map of some sort. He played a more
active role in The Wind Waker, when Link, after rescuing him from the
Windfall Island Prison, could use the Tingle Tuner to summon him. A second
player (or, if you’re like me, the first one) could then control Tingle via a
GBA and GCN-GBA Link Cable. This had a few interesting uses, all of which
cost Rupees, such as dropping Tingle Bombs with tactical precision, hovering
with the Tingle Balloon, buying Potions at a buy-anywhere store or offering
vague hints. The Tingle Tuner was the only way to collect the five statues of
Tingle in various poses, which served no real purpose. Located near the
centre of the Great Sea was Tingle Island, a small island with a tall totem-
pole tower, with Tingle’s head as the top totem. Here, he forced Ankle and
David Jr to do slave labour for him, keeping Tingle Tower in its constant
spinning motion. Tingle’s most important task was to decipher the Triforce
Charts in exchange for outrageous amounts of Rupees.
He is much less helpful in Four Swords Adventures. Since Force Gems replaced
Rupees from the original FS, he’s now collecting those, too. The Links
encounter Tingle trapped under a rock under a bridge. After that, any time
they spend too long in one area, a horde of Tingles will swoop in, scoop up
all the unclaimed Force Gems, and even steal a bunch from those unlucky
enough not to find cover.
Lastly, in The Minish Cap he and his three partners in crime wait at the tops
of ledges to fuse Kinstones with Link. Fusing enough Kinstones with all of
them enough times will open up the way to excellent prizes, like the Magic
Boomerang.
Tingle also appeared in his own RPG (of sorts), Mogitate Chinkuru no Bairairo
Rupiirando – that is, Freshly Picked Tingle’s Rose-Coloured Rupee Land by
most translations. Tingle is a fairly popular character in Japan, which is
how he landed this gig. It’s basically his origin story; rather than trying
to make sense of a bundle of bizarreness that amounts to a joke character
anyway, the game doesn’t even bother trying to make much sense. The entire
quest revolves around Tingle’s search for Rupees; while Link could hold an
impressive 10,000 in The Wind Waker, Tingle’s wallet was even bigger. Rupees
are his lifeblood in more ways than one; not only does Tingle die if he runs
out, but everything, everything revolves around managing his fundage. Tingle
is apparently still operating under the belief that if he collects enough
Rupees, Rupiiji will let him into a fairy realm, which explains his obsessive
behaviour in other games.
He also takes the title role in Chinkuru no Baruun Faito or Tinkle’s Balloon
Fight, but I don’t even know if we can count that as being anything at all.
Irozuki Chinkuru no Koi no Baruun Torippu (Ripening Tingle’s Balloon Trip of
Romantic Love by my translation) sees him as a regular, real-world type guy
who gets sucked into his TV, not unlike Wario in Master of Disguise.
Apparently, he was watching The Wizard of Oz, because the game is filled with
references to that incredibly sub-par classic.
By the way, Tingle was intentionally made a little bit in the image of Kondo
Koji, who heads Nintendo’s Sound Division and is responsible for composing
some of the best music in gaming, including Zelda’s.
=============================================================================
T o t t
Tricky Disco
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
Definitely one of the more stylish characters in the Zeldaverse, Tott dresses
in a white Elvisesque jumpsuit to whose arms he has affixed a number of
trailing tassles, the purpose of which is to increase the visual appeal and
sense of motion when he goes all Saturday Night Fever, something at which he
is going all-out at every hour of the day or night. He can be found on a nice
little extruding stretch of Windfall Island that overlooks the sea, following
the instructions written on a headstone in a desperate attempt to perform the
Song of Passing. What he doesn’t realise is that what he actually needs is
the Wind Waker, not enthusiasm. Bummer. He is only further inspired by Link’s
demonstration of batonmanship, and never does give up trying to give the
world the time of day.
=============================================================================
T r i l l
Homeru ka? Ren wo homeru ka? =^_^=
Race: Parrot
Appearances: Twilight Princess
The final member of the trio of all-in-the-family parrots, Trill is
apparently the beloved pet of (last one left) Coro, with whom he shares a
hairstyle. The Zeldaverse contains a surprising amount of afros, really.
A colourful and streetwise salesman, Trill sets up shop in Ordon Woods just
outside the first dungeon, where he sells Potions and Lantern Oil. The setup
is kind of interesting, as he has you deposit Rupees into a basket at the far
end of his stall, which act gives you credit with which to buy the liquids on
offer. This system naturally makes it very simple to steal from Plumm, since
you can easily swipe some fluid without paying first, but, like the
shopkeeper from Link’s Awakening, Trill will you attack you upon your next
meeting if you try it. Unlike the Mabe Village shopkeeper, however, Trill
offers you an opportunity to redeem yourself: Simply paying up later with a
sincere apology will smooth any ruffled feathers.
Trill also very definitely attacks Bokoblins that near his stall, which is
just plain cool, although mainly he asks Link to take care of the mob, and is
suitably impressed when he does. However, he also harbours a secret pain,
believing that he didn’t get enough praise growing up, and that it still
affects him to this day.
And, it has to be said, Trill and Plumm share the consonant-consonant-vowel-
doubleconsonsant schwerve. Mhmm, schwerve! I had to make that sentence less
inane SOMEHOW.
=============================================================================
U l i
4chan’s sweetheart
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
An Ordon Village belle, Uli is an extremely loving and supportive young wife
and mother. I realise that anybody whose husband was injured in battle would
doubtlessly tend to his wounds with all the dedication they had in them, but
that doesn’t make her tender bedside care any less sweet following Rusl’s
valiant attempt to chase off King Bulblin and his lackeys. In fact, it may
well have been that her fatal kindness caused her to coddle Colin, resulting
in his present introversion and lack of self-confidence. She has another
child as well, a baby girl, who is kidnapped by a monkey a few minutes prior
to the game, with many animals in Hyrule and its surrounding areas being
upset by the sudden twilight-fuelled imbalance and Zant’s dark doings; Link
manages to recover the cradle and return her charge to her. She spends the
entire game preggo, ultimately giving birth to her third child in the end
credits (which is not to say that there were ever opening credits.)
=============================================================================
V a a t i
Sorcerer of Winds
Race: Minish
Appearances: Four Swords
Four Swords Adventures
The Minish Cap
Next to music and time, winds is the most commonly used theme of the Zelda
series. There’s even an entire major enemy thereof. That’s Vaati, and he’s a
pretty interesting character.
He started out, so long ago, as one of the Minish, tiny creatures who
migrated to Hyrule from elsewhere and now assist the Hylians in their daily
lives. One of the Minish’s greatest sages was called Ezlo, and Vaati was his
apprentice. A quick study, Vaati soon learned almost everything Ezlo knew,
and soon started research of his own. Over time, he learned some of the lore
of the Light Force, and the infinite power it offered to anyone who could
find it. He turned on his master, transforming him into a hat, and took
Hylian form.
The prize for winning the sword-fighting competition at the Picori Festival
was to touch an ancient treasure from Hyrule’s past, a great honour. It was a
treasure chest sealed with a blade, but instead of just laying hands on it,
Vaati opened it. This unleashed all manner of lesser monsters on Hyrule, but
Vaati didn’t find what he was looking for. He turned Princess Zelda to stone,
rightly fearing her lineage, and proceeded to incapacitate most of those who
could oppose him.
He later turned Zelda back to normal, realising that he needed to sacrifice
her to gain the Light Force that had been stored in her body. He had made
several other critical miscalculations, however, the greatest of which was to
let Link live. The two did battle, and though Vaati used what Light Force he
had been able to extract to transform himself, Link and the power of the Four
Sword vanquished him.
Vaati later appeared in the two multiplayer Zelda games, FS and FSA. In both
instances, the players were required to work together to defeat him,
attacking in tandem and with colour-appropriate responses. And in both
instances, he once again stressed out Zelda, but by kidnapping in these cases
(just to keep life fresh, I guess.) It’s uncertain if Vaati will return in
the future, but it’s a good bet, especially if that Four Swords DS ever
materialises.
=============================================================================
V a l o o
Sky Spirit
Race: Dragon
Appearances: The Wind Waker
The patron deity of the Rito tribe, Valoo is a giant red dragon who protects
Dragon Roost Island from atop its peak. He speaks only in Hylian, one of a
handful of characters who know the language, so only his attendant Medli has
any clue what he’s saying. When Link first comes to the island, Valoo is
acting violently due to Gohma torturing his tail. He becomes much more light-
hearted after that. When Link and Tetra travel to the top of Forsaken
Fortress and confront Ganondorf, it’s Valoo, Komali and Quill who whisk them
to safety.
It’s possible that Valoo is actually Volvagia, the boss from Ocarina of
Time’s Fire Temple. I really, really doubt that, but there is some evidence
to support it, such as that they both have names that start with V (and Jabu-
Jabu changed his name to the somewhat dissimilar Jabun), both are big red
dragons, both live on Death Mountain, and Valoo’s ability to speak Hylian
suggests he comes from the Ocarina era. On the other hand, Volvagia died.
Plus, he was evil, while Valoo is benevolent. I guess resurrection and
character development are possible, but it’s a stretch. Now, distant
predecessor I’d be a little more willing to believe.
=============================================================================
V a s u
Ringmaster
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Oracle of Seasons
Oracle of Ages
The Oracle saga features magical rings that Link can wear for various
effects, like slowly restoring his hearts automatically, decreasing the
damage taken from spikes or giving him a powerful punching attack. However,
he can only carry a limited number, and they all have to be appraised before
they can be used, so Vasu steps into this role. The Indian stereotype
facilitates all the services associated with rings, and his two pet snakes
can even transfer rings from one game to another.
=============================================================================
V i s c e n
Easily distracted
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Majora’s Mask
Clock Town’s Captain of the Guard, Viscen commands the troop of soldiers
(identical to the Hylian Royal Guard of Ocarina of Time’s Hyrule) who
ostensibly defend the town, but mainly function to keep youngsters from
leaving. He spends literally all his time in the Mayor’s office, arguing with
the foreman about what to do about the impending colony drop event. No wait,
I mean lunar planetfall. Viscen advocates evacuation to Romani Ranch while
the foreman believes that the Carnival of Time must go on and that the so-
called Captain of the Guard is a sissy for wanting to run and hide. The sane
guy does manage to organize an evacuation, not that it’s going to help any
since the moon is set to destroy the entire country.
=============================================================================
W h e a t o n a n d P i t a
Bread-baking breadwinners
Race: Hylians
Appearances: The Minish Cap
A married couple living in Hyrule Castle Town, Wheaton and Pita own the local
bakery. As their punny names would suggest, the store specialises in an
assortment of breads. Wheaton Keaton, a man of genious sonority when it comes
to the art of baking, notices that Hyrule is one of the only countries in the
world without its own unique type of bread, and, seeing no choice but to make
it, embarks on an epic journey of food science and self-discovery. Along the
way, he meets like-minded enthusiasts who join him in championship-style
baking tournaments and other zany antics, has encounters with legends of the
industry who either nurture him or will one day be forced to acknowledge him,
and perfects his craft by making both new breads and incredibly witty puns,
all while fending off the machinations of a rival company that wishes to bury
him. Pita is the frontwoman for the store who manages the business and hypes
its products, which is an equally important function. I suspect that some
kind of internal power struggle went on while she was in high school or
thereabouts, with one of her family’s patriarchs vetting her for the position
of new owner while another threw his support behind her evil older sister,
but she eventually won out. Either way, she surely has a strong love for
bread and a great deal of talent of her own, making Wheaton and Pita a real
power couple.
=============================================================================
W i n d F i s h
Space whale
Race: Wind Fish
Appearances: Link’s Awakening
The Wind Fish is in name only, for it is neither.
Both official and in-game art depict the Wind Fish as a huge (there are way
too few synonyms for ‘big’) whale with swan wings. Its physical appearance
isn’t very important, though, because Link doesn’t actually encounter it
until the end of the game. In fact, his entire quest revolves around
collecting the eight Instruments of the Sirens so he can climb Mt Tamaranch
and play the Ballad of the Wind Fish, cracking open the spotted egg in which
the creature supposedly slumbers.
Around the sixth dungeon, it becomes clear that Koholint Island is not real.
It’s only a dream, but I don’t believe it’s the Wind Fish’s dream so much as
it’s a dream that it and Link are dreaming together. Either way, waking the
Wind Fish wakes them both, ending the illusion. Link, floating on his raft in
the middle of the ocean, looks skywards and sees the Wind Fish soaring off
into the distance. And that’s all we ever learn about it.
=============================================================================
Y e t o a n d Y e t a
Abominable
Race: Yeti, and, I think, Hylian
Appearances: Twilight Princess
Yeto is definitely a yeti. A sentient, mild-mannered yeti, but a yeti
nonetheless. Yeta is a little more of a puzzler. She appears human, although
her arms are strapped to her sides because of her sweater, and the Zoras call
her a ‘girl,’ and there is some talk like maybe their love would be frowned
upon in some circles. All of this suggests to me that she is actually a
Hylian, despite her being married to a yeti and propensity for poor grammar.
Either way, the couple make their home in the ancient ruins of the Snowpeak
Province mansion. It’s no more than stomping grounds to them, but to Link,
it’s the tricky-to-traverse fifth dungeon. When he arrives on the scene, Yeta
is sick, which is why Yeto has been raiding Zora’s River for soup
ingredients; he means no harm. When Link tracks him down and explains that
he’s looking for a mirror shard, Yeto says to follow him to his house, which
he does – by snowboarding down the hill on a frozen leaf. Quite original.
When they arrive, Yeta says the mirror is locked behind a door that requires
a key. She tries to remember where it is, but at first can only remember the
locations of stored-away soup ingredients. Eventually she remembers the
location of the key, and Link grabs it just in time to see her freshly
revitalized after a dose of Yeto’s soup. She leads him to the tower where the
mirror shard is kept, but as she’s about to hand it over, the evil power of
the Mirror of Twilight overcomes her and she becomes Blizzetta, showcasing
just how dangerous the thing’s sway really is. The windows crash open, a
blizzard begins to rage inside the room, and she starts to assault our hero
with icy spikes of DEATH. Luckily, Link is able to defeat her using his new
Ball and Chain. Yeto enters and the two share a romantic moment as Link takes
the shard and gets outta there. He can return later for further snowboarding
runs, one of which is somewhat frustrating but yields a Heart Piece.
=============================================================================
Z a n t
Augustus Caesar
Race: Twili
Appearances: Twilight Princess
Zant is a bit of an odd duck, to say the least. He writhes and twists
uncontrollably when he speaks on an issue he’s passionate about, he wears a
weird-looking metal helmet with bulbous eyes and tendrils where his mouth
should be, and he is prone to making an incredibly irritating noise that
somehow still manages to be creepy. And when he takes his helmet off, he
looks a little like an insect. You will also note that he wears clothes,
unlike most Twili, and in fact they somewhat resemble Gerudo apparel.
Coincidence?
Unlikely. In fact, the ‘too-long sleeves with tassles’ motif seems to have
been borrowed directly from Ganondorf. Zant studied up on his race’s ancient
history and as he saw it, his people were unjustly imprisoned in the grim
Twilight Realm, and he wanted to take over. With this ancestral right stuck
in his mind, he genuinely believed himself to be the true ruler of the Twili;
only he had the drive and talent to lead them towards the future.
Unfortunately for him, they recognized his greed and rejected him as king,
tossing him out. He desperately looked to the heavens for divine
intervention, but what he got was Ganondorf, which is almost as good but not
good enough. But not knowing this, he saw the effigy of Dorfy’s floating head
and immediately deitified him.
Recognizing in Zant an opportunity to reclaim his previous status, Ganondorf
lent him some of his power. Zant eschewed his race’s old magic in favour of
this much more powerful one, and he set it to good use, transforming Midna,
the actual destined ruler of the Twili, into a twisted, near-powerless imp.
Transforming (robots in disguise) many Twili into his own mindless soldiers,
he marched on Hyrule Castle and overran their outnumbered, overpowered
defences. He confronted Princess Zelda and gave her a choice: Surrender or
die. Since it wasn’t just her own life at stake, but that of her people as
well, Zelda let her sword fall and Zant engulfed about 60% of Hyrule in
Twlight. He also tried to destroy the Mirror of Twilight, the only link the
Goddesses left between Hyrule and the Twilight Realm, but as a false king, he
could not – only Midna could. The best Zant could do was break it into pieces
and fling them to the far corners of the land.
Realising he needed Midna on his side, he tried to lure her over, but she
refused. In fact, she was working with Link to reclaim her proverbial crown.
Ganondorf’s magic easily overpowered the Fused Shadows she’d intended to use
against him, but thanks to Link and Midna’s guerrilla efforts, Zant quickly
found himself backed into a corner. They finally confronted him in the Palace
of Twilight.
A quick note here – the nature of this fight makes me wonder if Zant was
supposed to be the final boss. Ganondorf’s appearance feels just slightly
tacked-on. The length of the Palace suggests a final dungeon setting (notice
Hyrule Castle is very short, too), and furthermore, Zant revisits a number of
boss and mini-boss rooms from earlier in the game. It would be not a bad
recap. Plus, there’s no dungeon item. So possibly the team was getting short
on time and was going to do a 7 + 1 dungeon format instead of the traditional
8 + 1, but added Ganondorf in when they found out they’d have another year to
perfect the game.
Once they defeat Zant, Midna seizes the three Fused Shadows he stole from her
and then uses them against him. Ancient, withered magic? The hand that comes
out of Midna’s hat (which is apparently her hair) plunges into Zant’s chest
and he swells up and pops like an overinflated balloon. He is instantly
reincarnated, though, citing Ganondorf’s protection as his source of
immortality – as long as Ganondorf lives, he will reincarnate Zant again and
again! ...So much for that. Link defeats Ganondorf almost immediately
afterward, and with his last breath, the arch-villain remotely snaps Zant’s
neck.
=============================================================================
Z a u z
Transcendental blacksmith
Race: Hylian
Appearances: Phantom Hourglass
I’m not exactly sure if I can call Zauz a Hylian. I mean first of all, his
ancestors actually hail from the ancient Cobble Kingdom, and second, some
sources say that in The Wind Waker/Phantom Hourglass era Hylians have all but
disappeared and been replace by round-eared humans. So I might be dead wrong
in calling him a Hylian, in which case, bummer.
Irrespective of his racial designation, Zauz’s heritage gives him a
formidable pedigree in regards to the workings of magical artefacts, backed
up by his impressive skills with a hammer and anvil unmatched by almost
anybody but Biggoron, I think. A good friend of the Ocean King and a little
more tapped into current events than are most people in the Zelda universe,
when confronted Zauz is only too happy to contribute his smithing skills to
the cause. He happens to have memorized the schematics for the Phantom Sword,
an ancient design taken from Cobble lore, but he discards the idea almost
immediately as the weapon can only be forged with the three legendary Pure
Metals, and that’s obviously not in the cards. Link, however, is not
dissuaded, and he and Ciela decide on the spot that their only logical course
of action from here is to track the things down.
After a very long difficult time, the group is able to recover the treasures
and deliver them to the startled Zauz, who immediately sets to work.
Labouring tirelessly for several days, Zauz melts down the assembled
heirlooms and forges an indestructible alloy into which he shapes a mighty
blade that would ironically be more of a dagger for any actual warrior of the
Cobble Kingdom, but which suits Link perfectly. He sets the Phantom Hourglass
into its crosspiece, imbuing the blade with all the time-manipulating, world-
altering magic therein. It’s never explained what the hilt is made from, so
we can probably assume it’s just manufactured from mundane material, or maybe
the housing of the Hourglass itself, converted through fey techniques. All in
all, his creation looks suspiciously similar to the Master Sword, displaying
an almost Kirbyesque level of imagination (as in Kirby Kirby Kirby that’s the
name you should know, not Jack Kirby.) After he completes this task, Zauz’s
completely minor, literarily unnecessary role in the story ends, and he goes
back to doing whatever he was doing before Link appeared.
Bearded and shirtless, Zauz looks like a red-headed Irish stereotype if Irish
stereotypes were large instead of average-sized. He wears armbands, which is
a rarity. He also has some interesting purple tattoos of the spiky, swirling
designs commonly seen in Celda skin-art. Oh, and as an anecdote to the first
paragraph, Zauz has pointed Hylian-style ears, as do Link and a number of
other characters, so eat it, naysayers!
=============================================================================
Z e l d a
Princess of Hyrule
Race: Hylian
Appearances: All main-series Zelda games
You may not believe me when I tell you that Zelda appears in all games whose
titles contain her name. Some even say she hardly ever appears in the series.
If you think so, think harder. Due to sheer laziness, instead of actually
describing the character, I am going to systematically demonstrate that she
has, in fact, appeared in every Zelda game. Empiricism has its advantages.
In the first two games, her appearances were admittedly brief, but there. In
the first game she appeared, sleeping, after Link had defeated Ganon. Link
woke her and all was well. She can be seen every time you boot up the game in
Zelda II, in an eternal slumber. She finally wakes at the end, and she
presumably gives Link a kiss (the curtain falls, so we don’t know for sure.)
If you missed her in A Link to the Past, you have never played that game. It
is her telepathic plea that wakes Link in the night and sets the game in
motion. He eventually rescues her and brings her to the Sanctuary, from where
she is later captured. He finally liberates her, permanently, by defeating
Ganon.
Link’s Awakening had Marin, Link’s dream-world interpretation of Zelda.
She had an extensive role in Ocarina of Time, appearing in the opening movie,
the second stage of Link’s quest and then, later, as Sheik. She does a whole
lot more as Sheik than she’s ever done as Zelda, exerting what little
influence she can in her opposition of Ganondorf. Sheik’s act of revealing
herself to be Zelda in disguise is one of the series’ most critical plot
moments, so I hope I didn’t spoil it for you just now. She even plays a role
in the final boss battle, by first leading Link out of the crumbling tower
and then returning the Master Sword to him when it’s knocked out of his
hands. She also holds Ganon down so Link can deal the final blow. Like Link,
she bears several titles throughout the series; she’s the Sage of Time in
this game.
She had nothing but a cameo in Majora’s Mask, but it counts. Link remembers
how Zelda taught him the Song of Time. That song is integral to MM.
In the Oracle saga, players would only get to see her if they completed one
game and started a password-linked game. In the linked game, Impa sent Link
on a necessary but very brief quest to rescue Zelda, essentially by playing
Donkey Kong.
Her role was pretty lame in Four Swords. In a nod to Princess Peach, she gets
kidnapped at the beginning of the game and is rescued in its finale.
Ah, but The Wind Waker! Now that game had her as the sassiest, most badass
character in the entire franchise. She led a merry band of pirates who
looted, pillaged, and were all-around good guys, all this at the age of
twelve. She was awesome, even filling Navi’s role for a short time. A little
more than halfway through the game, she learned her true identity as Princess
Zelda, bearer of the Triforce of Wisdom, and had to be hidden beneath the
waves to keep her from Ganondorf. Despite that, she did end up doing some
heavy lifting in the final boss battle, which I describe in great detail in
Ganondorf’s profile.
In Four Swords Adventures, she doesn’t do a whole lot other than get captured
by Vaati (again) and get rescued later on. Admittedly, she is the leader of a
bunch of maidens, and she also demonstrates the rather interesting ability to
turn into a fairy (as do all the maidens in that game.)
Incidentally, Tetra was going to be part of an FSA multiplayer mode called
Tetra’s Trackers. Western press mistakenly referred to it as a separate game
headed to our shores, but it was cut from the NTSC version, likely because
the glut of Japanese dialogue (!) would have to have been re-recorded, which
is expensive. The mini-game featured the four Links in a race around smallish
arenas trying to collect stamps. Actually, it was one Link and three coloured
Shadow Links, all four of whom were player-controlled. That was the game’s
explanation for having them compete (to prove which one is the genuine Link).
Next up is The Minish Cap. Instead of being kidnapped, she gets turned into
stone, and remains that way until Vaati revives her so he can steal the Light
Force from her. Now that’s interesting – the entire Triforce, the Light Force
in this game, originally resided within Zelda. Once Ganondorf fractured it,
she got only the Triforce of Wisdom. He, naturally, got the Triforce of
Power, and then Link...I guess because he was the legendary hero, that’s why
he got Courage. Kind of interesting, eh?
Then we come to Twilight Princess. Zelda reveals herself within the first
hour or so of play, wearing black robes of mourning (side note – these robes
have the symbol of the Sheikah on them. Now why is that?) You see, she’s
mourning Hyrule – it has all been turned to Twilight under Zant’s wretched
influence, and it’s basically her fault, because she chose surrender over
death. This was the best decision in the long run. When Midna is near death,
Zelda appears to actually sacrifice her own life to keep the Twilight
Princess from slipping beyond the mortal coil. Though her body disappears,
Ganondorf somehow recovers it and possesses it in the final battle. Upon her
(well, Ganondorf’s) defeat, her soul leaves Midna’s body and returns to her
own. That’s the first stage of the battle - Zelda takes a nap in the second,
exhausted after her possession. BUT THEN! I guess the idea of Zelda fighting
was as popular with the developers as it was with me, because in the third
stage of the fight, Link and Zelda both mount Epona; Zelda shoots Light
Arrows to stun Ganondorf so Link can attack with the Master Sword. She is
separated from him for the last round, unfortunately, so she sits that one
out, but it was still really cool to see her strut her stuff again!
In Phantom Hourglass Zelda returns to being fairly useless. She shows herself
in the opening, having resumed Tetra form, only to be kidnapped six seconds
in, due to an act of incredible sheer stupidity on her part, when the Ghost
Ship appears on the scene. Then she spends most of the game turned to stone,
waiting for Link to rescue her. (He does.) Come on, darling, I thought you’d
evolved beyond that.
Finally, she’s kind of impossible to miss in Spirit Tracks. After all, she’s
right by your side from very near the beginning to right up to the end of the
game! At first appearing to you in fleshy form, she soon has her spirit
ripped from her body as the latter is spirited away, which puts her in quite
low spirits for the next little while. However, all it takes is the
revelation that her body has been stolen for use by an evil demon king and a
subsequent (and very humorous) shout of ‘IYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!’ to reenergize
her. But in spite of her proclamation that she’ll wait while Link goes off to
fight (‘I understand it’s a sort of tradition in my family’), the local sage
Anjean says the trials he’ll face will be too difficult to face alone, and
Zelda, though initially startled, gathers her courage and accompanies Link
into the inner sanctum of the Tower of Spirits. Shortly thereafter, the two
quite accidentally learn of her new ability to possess the bodies of Phantoms
once they have been stunned; this turns out to be the critical skill in
recovering the dungeon’s treasures, and she assists him thusly on all
following forays, variously providing herself as powerful warrior, invincible
switch-flipper, double agent, carriage and mobile cover. She once again takes
to the field for the final confrontation as well, first half-strangling her
own body as it contains aforementioned demon king Malladus, and then
returning to it after so much time spent away. Following this, she implores
Link to protect her from harm while she gathers her magical power, eventually
unleashing a huge attack that temporarily stuns everybody in the immediate
area. Reviving the unconscious Link, she has him play a special melody on the
Spirit Flute, which summons the six Lokomo guardians for a rising harmony
that causes a weak point to appear on the back of the hideously transformed
fiend. Then, in what is becoming a trend, she takes up the Bow of Light while
Link distracts Malladus, firing whenever she sees an opening. After a few
rounds of this, he goes down, and Link moves in to attack his weak point, the
Rupee-shaped gem on his head. On the third repetition of this process, he
jams the Lokomo Sword into his brain, and seeing him struggle, Zelda rushes
in to help him slaughter Malladus, a level of brutality I never thought she
had in her. The ending is somewhat melancholy, as it pans out of a photo of
her and Link she has sitting on her desk, but then all of a sudden she hears
either the sound of Link’s train whistle or of him outside battling. Either
way she rushes to the window and waves, and in the latter case, she distracts
him just long enough to have him get kicked to the floor; hilarious. This
role was definitely what a lot of fans have been waiting for with the
Princess, and it’s her most popular appearance to date for good reason.
So there you have it. Zelda is in every Zelda.
=============================================================================
Z e p h o s a n d C y c l o s
Good-natured squabblers
Race: Lesser deities
Appearances: The Wind Waker
According to my interpretation of Zelda mythology, the hierarchy of great
beings works a little like this:
-The Three Goddesses – Din, Nayru and Farore, the creators of Hyrule and its
satellites and the ultimate answer of the Zelda universe. Whether or not
there’s an even greater being or beings above them in unknown (I happen not
to think so)
-Light Bringers – Slightly less powerful than the Three Goddesses
-Lesser Gods (kamigami) – The gods referred to in A Link to the Past and The
Wind Waker
-Patron deities – Those who look after a particular group, e.g. the Great
Deku Tree or Jabun
-Great Fairies – They even have their own profile, you figure it out
-Lesser deities – Barely even deities, but still a hundred times more
powerful than mortals
Zephos and Cyclos fit into that last category. (Ganondorf, by the way, is
neither a mortal nor a god.) Now, with that unnecessarily lengthy
introduction, I shall go on to say merely that the two are Wind Deities, and
some of the only deities that you can actually meet, physically, in person.
Zephos, whose name is derived from the word zephyr, meets Link directly after
the Dragon Roost Cavern. Cyclos, whose name is derived from the word cyclone,
meets Link shortly after the Tower of the Gods, on the way to the Forsaken
Fortress, and teaches Link the quick-warp Ballad of Gales.
This profile looks terribly disorganized, doesn’t it?
=============================================================================
Z i l l
Disgusting little kid
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
The Minish Cap
Zill’s ok I guess. He’s the little kid on Outset Island with the mutant,
bouncing ball of snot hanging out of his nose. He’s mildly helpful when it
comes to giving information on the inhabitants and features of Outset Island,
a service aided by his tendency to talk like an overenergetic kindergartner.
I’m pretty sure it was Zill who named the pig you bring to their house at the
beginning of the game (the one they don’t eat.) Inexplicably, Zill also
appears as a student at the schoolhouse in The Minish Cap, where he does jack
all for the storyline but does offer you some sweet Kinstone Fusion.
=============================================================================
Z o r a
Trendsetter
Race: ...Zora
Appearances: A Link to the Past
The eponymous inhabitant of Zora’s Domain in the northeast, a secluded watery
sanctuary in the northeast corner of non-Death Mountain Hyrule, Zora’s
romanization set the trend for the Zora-Zola differentiation. More
significantly, after braving the gauntlet of narrow pathways and fireball-
spitting Zolas, Link was able to buy the Flippers from Zora for 500 Rupees.
Not only does this allow Link to swim, but Zora kindly throws in the right to
use his warp whirlpools as well. Unfortunately, he either doesn’t have
dominion over the Zolas or doesn’t care enough to worry about the situation,
because they continue to fire on Link even after he stimulates the Zora
economy. Well, I guess they’re supposed to be rebellious high school girls,
so maybe it makes sense that they would defy their patriarchical authority
figure, with a youthful zeal and total misunderstanding of the word anarchy
and its implications of egalitarianism and cooperation. Sneaking nominal
indoctrination into places where it doesn’t belong or even make sense ftw.
There’s also a ‘character’ named Zora in Link’s Awakening who lives in the
northeasternmost house in Animal Village and is so small he or she is visible
only with the Magnifying Class. When Link accomplishes this, the Photographer
appears to take the ‘I Found Zora’ picture.
=============================================================================
Z u n a r i
Politically incorrect
Race: Hylian
Appearances: The Wind Waker
For some reason, Zunari wears an Inuit parka despite the Great Sea’s
temperate climate. Supposedly, he came from somewhere cold, but then wouldn’t
he shed the parka, since by comparison Windfall Island would seem even
hotter? Either way, Zunari is crucial since he sells ‘that’ to Link. ‘That’
turns out to be a sail for King of Red Lions, without which the boat scarcely
crawls across the water. Zunari dreams of making it big in business, and with
Link’s help he accomplishes his goal. He not only holds nightly auctions in
Maggie’s house, which garner him huge amounts of money, but also runs a
highly successful stall filled with all kinds of touristy knick-knacks.
This is probably me being weird again, but I wonder if Zunari is an Anouki.
(Then again, I also wonder if Yeto is a Yook, and that makes even less sense,
so let’s carry on.) Both he and the Anouki wear blue parkas, and it is said
that the man comes from a cold, faraway land. Can’t get much farther away
than the World of the Ocean King. The only thing is that Zunari has fingers
and no antlers. I’m calling coincidence on this one.
=~=Races Compendium=~=
[RAC]
Unless your powers of observation need serious work, you probably noticed
that every character has a line denoting its race. This is because the Zelda
universe is filled with all manner of fantastic races, with distinct
morphology and culture. If you spent much of the guide wondering why Hylians
aren’t just called humans or what exactly a Deku is, this section will
explain it all for you.
=============================================================================
Hylians
We kick-start the section with the most important and prolific race, the
Hylians. They have appeared in every single Zelda title to date, as you can
imagine. The Hylians are generally considered the ‘master race’ of Hyrule,
those destined to carry out the will of the Goddesses and preside over the
other races.
Not only do they prove this by being vested with responsibilities the other
races would be unable to shoulder, but the Hylians are mainly distinguished
from real-world humans by their pointed, elfin ears, which allow them to hear
telepathic communiques from the gods. Hylians are apparently the only people
other than Twili able to directly perform magic. Otherwise, they are
basically humanoid, ranging from the effete to the hardy.
Hylians are basically divided between blue-collar, life-sustaining work and
administration. More or less all farming is performed by Hylians, and they
are quite cosmopolitan in their trade agreements (they are on especially good
terms with the Gorons), making theirs some of the richest people. They are
also responsible for having standardised the Rupee, the basic unit of
currency across all games.
Hylian settlements are among the largest going. Most live in large,
concentrated townships like Kakariko Village and Hyrule Castle Town. Often
encircled by high stone walls to defend the inhabitants from bandits and wild
animals, these settlements are teeming nuclei of commerce and government.
Local business includes hotels, cafes, bakeries, restaurants and utility and
equipment shops, but the bulk of small business owners focus on entertainment
through mini-games.
Hylian society is hierarchical in nature; everyone knows where he or she
stands. Hyrule’s Royal Family rules the entire race with a just but iron
hand. Sages, religious leaders who maintain and operate Hylian places of
worship, are also well respected. Civic government figures, namely the mayor,
are directly below them, followed by community leaders such as
schoolteachers. Significant landowners are next sequentially, followed by
merchants, scholars and farmers. Peddlers, salesmen, marketers and drifters
are at the bottom of the list and generally looked down upon.
In addition to being their administrators, the Hylia are also the nation’s
peacekeeping force, operating mainly through the Royal Guard, a corps of
pike-armed infantrymen who stand guard at critical junctures like crossroads
and city gates. Their main task, however, is to protect the Royal Family. The
Guard also employs several smaller units, including an archery division.
Hylians are the only troops capable of performing the Spin Attack
(alternately called the Whirling Blade Attack or Spinning Sword Technique), a
devastating series of blows that can give them the edge in combat; however,
without exceptional natural ability this technique takes years of dedication
to learn, so it is not especially common.
Hylians are often considered the most cultured of the six Cradle Races, and
indeed any who appear on the Hylian Sea.
In addition to proper Hylians, we occasionally see round-eared humans who
have no special attributes, though they are more or less culturally and
functionally the same. They tend to appear in the more ‘modern’ games (The
Wind Waker, Twilight Princess), suggesting the Hylian race slowly dwindled
over the years.
=============================================================================
Sheikah
If Hylians are the master race of Hyrule, Sheikah are the servant race.
Ocarina of Time explicitly states that their only raison d’etre was to be the
bodyguards and agents of the Royal Family. In their heyday, they were the
main link between the surface-dwellers and the Oocca, and lived in a place
called the Hidden Village. Sometime before Ocarina begins, the Sheikah were
all but wiped out, as they dwindled to just one member: Impa. The fact that
Impa appears in a number of games and is evidently the same person suggests
that they are extraordinarily long-lived, suiting their roles as durable
labourers.
They are biologically identical to Hylians, though despite their pointed ears
they seem unable to hear the messages of the gods (with the exception of
sages, an exception shared by all other races.) In fact, a Sheikah could
probably pass himself off as a Hylian and live among Hylians, and perhaps
there are some who did (or do...and we’ve even seen them in-game, we just
don’t know about them.) For their livelihood and shelter, and indeed most
other things, they are wholly dependant on their masters. It is a mutualistic
relationship, though, as they more than pay them back in obedience and
service.
Though it sounds like they’re slaves, it seems most Sheikah accept and even
enjoy their work. They are (were) in the unique position of knowing for sure
that they were living the destiny assigned them by the Goddesses.
=============================================================================
Gorons
Without a doubt, with the demise of the Sheikah race the Gorons are the
Hylians’ greatest allies. Not only are they fierce and brutal warriors, they
also provide many of the goods that are essential to Hylian life: With their
smithing skills they shape steel and other metals into essential items
(including Hylian swords), and they are the only people capable of tending
the Goron Special Crop (Bomb Flowers, which can be cultured into less
volatile and greatly needed Bombs). But their greatest contribution is in
mining ore and other materials. Their physiology allows Gorons to mine
deeper, faster, and more efficiently than Hylians can, not to mention much
more safely.
Compared to Hylians, Gorons are huge in terms of both height and girth, and
they are immensely strong and hardy. Their bodies seem to be composed of
solid rock, the same rock in which they make their homes. This rock continues
to grow through a Goron’s life; it seems there is no limit to the size a
Goron can grow, and when they die they often become mountains themselves. One
of the defining features of the Goron race is the ability to curl into a ball
and roll, achieving exceptional speeds.
Gorons typically carve their cities out of the bellies of mountains; Ocarina
even saw them living in the bowels of an active volcano. The N64 games seem
to suggest a tendency towards the cylindrical when designing their
settlements.
Gorons are usually ruled by either a Big Brother or a Goron Elder. These
leaders are treated with near-reverential respect, and their wisdom is
trusted unquestioningly. Though one might think that a headstrong people who
think with their stomachs would naturally be quite uncouth in their dealings
with outsiders, they usually welcome newcomers with open arms, and they spend
much effort on diplomacy. The symbol of Goron sovereignty is a three-pronged
design that resembles a pawprint; this is a tattoo-like engraving that all
Gorons naturally have imprinted on their right upper arm.
=============================================================================
Zora
The fishlike, aquatic Zora are comparatively highbrowed and uppity compared
to the other races, though they still recognize their subordination to the
Hylian Royal Family. They are not generally credited as warriors, though
their fins can clearly be used for combat, and their ability when submerged
to generate a bioelectric shield of DEATH around their bodies gives them
unmatched mastery of their domain (their inimitable strength as swimmers
helps too, of course.) They are also good fishermen. One interesting trait is
that Zora women produce seven eggs at a time, which must be kept together in
order to hatch. Early on in life, Zora greatly resemble tadpoles.
Zora towns typically have a lot of water in them, as one might expect;
sometimes they are evenly divided between aquatic and earthbound sections.
Generally their settlements are composed of walled, roofed structures that
contain a number of sub-structures. The Zora people are ruled by the King
Zora, but their patron deity (in most games) and ultimate liege is Jabu-Jabu.
Female Zora also have the fascinating ability to launch fireballs from their
gullets. This assault is considered vulgar and distasteful, however, and is
never used by respectable ladies. That said, a sufficiently rebellious (and
likely teenage, ha ha) female Zora may leave mainstream society to dwell in
rivers and take pot shots at passers-by. Fish-girls who do this are known as
Zolas (with an L.)
The distinction of the R/L thing, by the way, was Nintendo of America’s way
of covering up a terrible translation inconsistency. The other way to do it
was to call friendly Zoras, Sea Zoras, and hostile Zolas, River Zoras. (This
nomenclature began in Oracle of Ages, incidentally the only game so far to
feature both Sea and River Zoras.)
=============================================================================
Gerudo
The Gerudo are a race of desert-dwelling thieves and plunderers who keep to
themselves but are a fearsome force individually or en masse. They are also
entirely female, with just one male member born every hundred years.
Reproductive conundrums aside, Gerudo are almost indistinguishable from
Hylians; only their dark skin, unilaterally bright red hair, and parachute
pants set them apart.
Actually, their style of clothing is indicative of status. The majority of
Gerudo – those employed as stock thieves and guards – are purple-clad with
long hair. The elite soldiers, those who fight with twin scimitars rather
than spears, have red outfits complete with veils. Civilians wear white and
have short hair. And the leaders of a particular cell, they’re dressed like
the elites, but they too have veils. Their awesomeness is almost unparalleled
in the Zelda universe. However, they are not the ultimate authority; that
would lie with Ganondorf, the sole male. He employs various captains and
seconds-in-command, and they too wield some power.
The Gerudo live in near-complete isolation from the rest of the world. Almost
the only time they have contact with other races is to steal things from
them. Other than that, they stay in the desert – we’ve seen a few variations
on that. My least favourite is a handful of nomadic tents – of course,
obviously there are a few of these in Ocarina as well, we just don’t see them
- though moving them to the waterfront doesn’t make a lot of sense. Nah, I
think we’ll always think of Gerudo Fortress as their home. Maybe it’s best
they stay there anyway, considering their taciturn and deceitful natures
could prove detrimental to greater society. (Do I sound like a politician?)
=============================================================================
Kokiri
Rounding out the six Cradle Races of Hyrule are the most boring of all, the
Kokiri. Cradle Races is a name I made up, by the way, so nobody call them
that unless you want people to laugh at you. :) Anyway, the forest folk are
physically incapable of maturation; they’ll stay children forever. As a
result, they are susceptible to outside assailants. This is why the Great
Deku Tree protects them, though this only ends up working for so long.
Considering they only ever had contact with outsiders twice, they do not have
much outside commerce coming to their treehouse village. It is said, however,
that Kokiri who lose their way in the Lost Woods become Stalchildren, and we
see Stalchildren elsewhere, so that’s a possibility. On the other hand, we’ve
also heard that Stalchildren are just adolescent Stalfos, and that Kokiri
will die if they leave the forest (the first kind of conflicts with the other
theories, and the second is proven untrue in Ocarina’s ending.) The most
interesting thing about the Kokiri is that each is assigned a guardian fairy
to follow them around everywhere, acting as their teachers and protectors.
That’s actually kind of neat.
=============================================================================
Rito
First of all, in order to understand the Rito you have to understand that the
Great Sea – the setting of Waker – sits on top of a waterlogged Hyrule,
because the gods drowned it to seal away an increasingly powerful Ganondorf.
This caused a cataclysm for most of the races, causing several to die out and
others to become shadows of their former selves. Others adapted to their new
conditions.
This is what happened to the Zora. Though the Big N doesn’t explicitly say
the Zora became the Rito, believing anything else is kind of foolish. But
stepping back for a minute, the Zora are fish-people, whereas the Rito are
bird-people. Wouldn’t the Zora be ideally suited for a mainly aquatic
environment? You might think so, but there are a couple of theories
explaining the change which we won’t get into. Instead, please just accept
that they can turn their arms into bird’s wings at will. Beyond that, they’re
pretty much beaked, snazzily dressed Hylians.
But while they may have evolved from the Zora, they’ve taken a cue from the
now near-extinct Gorons and live in Death Mountain – that is, Dragon Roost
Island. (Their dwelling is pretty cylindrical, too, mimicking the N64 Goron
cities.) Here they make their living mainly as the Great Sea postal service,
and are ruled by a Chieftain. They also have a lesser deity to look after
them: Valoo the dragon takes over from Jabu-Jabu. Like their ancient
ancestors, the Rito tend to keep away from the ‘lesser’ races; elitism never
fully disappears.
=============================================================================
Koroks
In much the same way as the Rito are derived from the Zora, the Koroks are
derived from the Kokiri. The Kokiri have morphed drastically from the forest
sprites prior, becoming almost Deku-like in their appearance, though with
leaves for faces. They still have a Deku Tree to look after them. Like the
Rito, they too have adapted to life on the high seas by developing powers of
flight, though the Koroks accomplish this with mechanical rotors that grow
out of their heads.
Most of the Kokiri Woods and Lost Woods have been flooded, forming the Forest
Haven, complete with Forbidden Woods. The Kokiri proved that the Lost Woods
were a perfectly fine hangout for those familiar with them, and the Koroks
once followed that sentiment as well; this is evident by a smattering of
infrastructure, including gondolas, leaf-boats and giant fans, all of which
the Koroks used to get around. But then dangerous creatures invaded and
forced them out, so now it is far too dangerous for a Korok to venture in.
In what is becoming a theme, the Koroks cut themselves off from other races,
preferring to stay with the Deku Tree and hide when strangers come. However,
late in the game they do head out to try and cultivate small trees to begin
rebuilding the dwindling forests.
=============================================================================
Twili
The Twili descended from a race who wielded a powerful but evil magic for
dark ends. As they had done before with Ganondorf, the Three Goddesses sealed
away the increasingly dangerous people by banishing them to a realm of
shadows and unhappiness. The so-called Twilight Realm was really quite
serene, but they were jealous of those they had tried to overthrow, and over
time, they became demonic, vicious monsters, a condition spurred on by their
self-proclaimed king. After Zant’s and Ganondorf’s downfall, those Twili who
were inherently good return to humanoid form. Midna returned to rule them,
probably for the majority of eternity.
=============================================================================
Deku
The Deku, individuals of whom are known as Deku Scrubs, are a race of beings
who bear a strong resemblance to sentient plants, especially trees and
flowers. They have tiny orange eyes, wooden yet supple bodies, leafy
appendages, and some features that resemble clothing. There are a number of
Deku castes: Regular Deku Scrubs, Mad Scrubs, small guard Scrubs, Business
Scrubs, fat Scrubs, female Scrubs, and the largest and strongest of Scrubs.
Rather than accepting the Rupee, most Deku societies prefer a simple
bartering system. Business Scrubs sometimes do trade with Hylian merchants,
offering items found only in the forest: Deku Sticks, Seeds and Nuts. Deku
usually have no clear leader, and act without any uniform society, but in
Majora’s Mask they actually have a king complete with Palace. This was a
terribly inefficient form of government.
=============================================================================
Subrosians
The actual appearance of a Subrosian is impossible to know since they always
wear fully-body robes that obscure their entire bodies, including the face.
All that we can tell is that they are short and composed of two basic
sections, those being head and body, and that both sections are somewhat
round. Subrosians live in an eponymous subterranean environment directly
below Oracle of Seasons’ Holodrum. The Tower of Seasons fell into it one day
and remained a permanent fixture for some time. It is also dotted with many
lava pools, dangerous for most but soothing for Subrosians. Subrosians prefer
not to deal with other races, even eschewing the Rupee for their own
currency, Ore Chunks. Subrosians are fairly good dancers.
There are a few Subrosians in Mogitate Chinkuru, though I’m not sure there’s
an explanation for them. They mostly figure into side-quests, and they reveal
a penchant for knowing all the uses of a barrel.
=============================================================================
Tokays
Tokays are short, green reptilian creatures. They have angular heads, gangly
limbs, catlike eyes, and spirals instead of belly buttons. The clawed,
orange-crested creatures are very strong swimmers, though probably not as
much so as the Zora. Tokays live in the caves of Crescent Island, a small
isle off the coast of Oracle of Ages’ Labrynna, and as such have no contact
with other races. Instead, they have developed a simple barter economy.
=============================================================================
Zuna
The second race of dune-dwellers in the Zelda series, the Zuna are a bunch of
green-skinned, turban-wearing dudes who have a small village in a Desert of
Doubt oasis. In their heyday, their civilization was almost Egyptian in that
they built massive pyramids and other such structures. They were probably
responsible for creating the trident that Ganondorf is often seen to wield,
and it’s sometimes said he grew up among the Zuna (seriously, guys...) Again,
whereas the Gerudo style of dress seems more Middle Eastern (I think), the
Zuna garb is made in a much more Egyptian fashion, with ankle-length robes.
And unlike the Gerudo, the Zuna do not feel the need to constantly carry
around swords (unless they keep them hidden under all those robes, of
course.) Hmm...for a race that only appeared in one game and which annoys me
a great deal, I certainly found a lot to say about them.
=============================================================================
Minish
The Minish are extremely tiny beings, on average less than two centimetres
tall. This tiny size has allowed them to go unnoticed among the Hylians, and
they often live among them or help them out in small ways. The Minish give us
an explanation for why valuable currency can be easily found in patches of
grass and under rocks: The Minish put it there, because they love to see the
delighted expressions on the faces of Hylians who find them. The hat and
pants of a Minish indicate whether it is a Town Minish (blue hat and
clothing), Forest Minish (red hat, green clothing) or Mountain Minish (blue
hat, red clothing.) The Minish, appearing only in The Minish Cap, are
concentrated in Hyrule Castle Town, the Minish Woods (the Lost Woods of other
games), and Mt Crenel. They are quite skilled in trade. The leader of each
settlement is a wise old Minish Sage. Sadly, because they are generally
undetectable and the Minish Door that allows pure-hearted Hylian children to
see them opens but once every hundred years, by the time the game begins they
have faded into mere legends as the Picori (or Piccoli, if Bill Trinen and
co. hadn’t screwed up yet another one.) Fortunately, Link’s exploits put an
end to that, eh?
=============================================================================
Oocca
Since A Link to the Past, it has been understood that the Hylians are the
chosen race of the gods. Well, as it turns out, long ago there was a race
even closer to the gods, and they’re still very much alive! The Oocca, as
they are called, may even have been responsible for the creation of the
Hylians, though that’s a little hard to believe because they seem to be an
inferior race: They greatly resemble Cuccos. In fact, they have really
strange, bare heads, oblong bodies, and stunted wings, all of which lead me
to conclude that accounts of their power are greatly exaggerated, they know
something I don’t, or they have degenerated over the centuries. They live in
a city that floats in the sky, called City in the Sky, which is a dungeon for
our purposes. Other than the fact that it remains hanging in the air by a
bunch of propellers (is it mobile, I wonder?) and can only be reached by
being fired out of a giant cannon, it’s kind of unimpressive. Still, the very
idea that these little birds with their stick legs and their funny symbols
are actually superior to our pointy-eared message-receivers, well, that right
there is a significant and thought-provoking contribution unto itself.
=============================================================================
Anouki
I adore Nintendo Power’s description of the Anouki people, so I’ll just quote
them directly: ‘Penguins, reindeer, and Eskimos - now in one convenient
species!’ That should give you a pretty good picture of the little guys, one
of two sentient races inhabiting the Isle of Frost and later the Snow Realm.
You can’t help but like them when you see them, but they are by far some of
the laziest and most unintelligent people in the Zelda universe. The original
Anouki Village is roughly divided into two sections: Anouki Estates to the
north, which comprises their regularly arranged huts, and some shops and
other specialised buildings to the south, including the Village Chief’s hut.
When Link arrives, the Anouki are at war with the Yook from the far side of
the island, having been subjected to vandalism and kidnappings for quite some
time. Fortunately, Link is able to enter their temple and purge the evil
within it, which is what had been driving the Yook’s actions, ending the
conflict and allowing the two races to live among each other happily.
Apparently, they later migrate to the Great Hyrulean Novel, because they
appear in a reborn Anouki Village, still stupid and still being harassed by
monsters.
=============================================================================
Yook
Greatly resembling yetis (specifically abominable snowmen), the Yook are
creatures with huge physical power who are nonetheless relatively peaceful by
nature. The influence of the evil within the Temple of the Isle of Frost
drives them insane, however, transforming every one of them into a slavering
beast bent on the suffering of whatever enters their field of vision. To this
end, they try to cause the neighbouring Anouki as much inconvenience and
displeasure as they possibly can, causing their counterparts a great deal of
trouble. The story has a happy ending, though, as Link banishes the evil
infesting their temple and frees them from its influence, allowing the Yook
and Anouki to live among each other happily. Unlike the advanced races, Yook
use more primitive weapons like clubs and axes. They can also attack with an
interesting inhale ability, and of course are resistant to extreme cold. Yook
also have the dubious honour of being the first sentient non-boss enemies to
have Link kill them.
=============================================================================
Lokomos
In many ways, the Lokomos are the spiritual successors to the Sheikah, as
both serve the Hylian Royal Family in an effort to protect their Hyrule.
Unlike the Sheikah, the Lokomo pun on the word ‘locomotion,’ but like the
Sheikah, they seem to go extinct, as the ending of Spirit Tracks depicts them
departing for the heavens. They serve the Spirits of Good and combat the evil
Malladus (you have to love how black-and-white Zelda is.) All Lokomos are
wielders of powerful magic, some extremely so, and all ride around in strange
contraptions that further emphasize just how far technology has advanced by
the time of ST.
============================================================================
Demons
Almost nothing is said about demons except that they are evil, and in any
case only Malladus, Cole and, to an extent, Byrne give us examples of them.
Malladus is their evil Demon King who wields exceptional evil magic, but they
can all use lesser evil magic, especially Byrne, who turned his back on the
light in order to become more evil. They appear to have some kind of
relationship with the evil Dark Realm, but whether they come from there, or
created it, or what, as well as whether or not it has any relationship to the
Dark World of the original Hyrule, is unclear. In fact, as it stands the lack
of information provided about demons is downright evil on Nintendo’s part.
=~=Ladies’ Man=~=
[LAD]
Some guys have all the luck. Link is just insanely attractive, I guess.
Welcome to a section with no practical purpose whatsoever, a list of all the
girls who have had a crush on Link, or been in love with him.
-Zelda
-Medli (The Wind Waker)
-Ruto (Ocarna of Time)
-Nabooru (Ocarina of Time)
-Deku Princess (Majora’s Mask)
-Mrs Marie (The Wind Waker)
-Clock Town’s Treasure Chest Game front desk girl (Majora’s Mask)
-The Maku Tree (Oracle of Ages)
-Lulu (Majora’s Mask)
-Saria (Ocarina of Time)
-Malon (Ocarina of Time)
-Navi (Ocarina of Time)
-Ilia (Twilight Princess)
-Midna (Twilight Princess)
-Rosa (Oracle of Seasons)
-Beth – the little girl, not the Poe (Twilight Princess)
-Marin (Link’s Awakening)
-Ciela (Phantom Hourglass)
-Kili, Hanna, and Misha (Twilight Princess)
-The girl standing near the platform at Papuchia Village (Spirit Tracks)
And that’s if we preclude the ones who only MIGHT like him like that. And
even if we do that, the list is still incomplete! Life’s not fair, you know?
=~=Thanks=~=
[THA]
No one person could ever compile a guide without missing a few things.
Besides, it’s really the readers who count, isn’t it? What follows, in order
of my receiving the message, gives proper credit to all the individuals who
contributed to this guide in some way, be it with corrections, suggestions or
bits and piece of information.
Anna Bare – pointed out the Composer Brothers’ actual appearance in Ocarina
brelen brelen – a few small things here and there
Joao Paulo Hoppe – more on the Composer Brothers, corrected Dampe’s fee
The Platinum Knight – more on the Composer Brothers
Brie Fusaro – a note on Fado’s official gender (nothing official >_<)
Jamie Fox-Canning – an assload of corrections (even if I disagreed with more
than half of them ^_^)
I forgot your name – somebody informed me that Bokoblins do not appear in TP,
they are in fact called Bulblins, and that their leader is called King
Bulblin, not Boss Bokoblin, a name I pulled out of my ass. I apologize for
the omission of your name; contact me again if you would like to receive your
due credit.
cornishpete – information on Syrup
=~=Legal Garbage=~=
[LEG]
I’ll get the important stuff out of the way first. The Legend of Zelda, all
associated games and all affiliated characters, places, et cetera are copyright
Nintendo of Japan, and Nintendo of America. They belong to it and are its
exclusive intellectual property. This document is not a challenge to that
right, merely the expression of a fan.
That said, all original content is mine – copyright Adam Marx. It may not be
reproduced or distributed by any mode, except for personal, private use. Except
for brief quotes, I will not tolerate the plagiarism of this guide. Said quotes
will only be tolerated if they are relatively unmodified (‘...’ and ‘[ ]’ for
clarification is fine) and full credit is given to me. Not trying to be
threatening, but seriously.
Currently, only GameFAQs has the right to display this guide in any medium. No
other publication, online, printed, or in any other form, may display it. If
you see it on any other website, please contact me (see below.)
If you are found to be in violation of the above regarding GameFAQs’
exclusivity or plagiarism of my work, you will be asked at minimum to remove my
guide from your publication, and may be required to pay some sum of money,
including any royalties earned, among other things. People almost never
actually steal FAQs, so I’m pretty sure even most FAQ writers don’t exactly
know what the penalties are.
While I’m at it, the mildly cool graphic at the top of the guide is (c) Adam
Marx. You’re welcome to use it for your own guide, though why you would want to
I have no idea. It took me like five minutes to make. Even so, if you decide to
copypasta a little blurb in the acknowledgements or something would be boss.
=~=Contact Information=~=
[CON]
I’ll wrap up with the Contact Information. Questions, comments, praise,
criticisms, suggestions, spontaneous dancing, and especially corrections and
more are all welcomed. If I get a lot of questions, perhaps I’ll even start an
FAQs section. Actually, anything having to do with this guide or Zelda in
general is fun to get.
If you do wish to contact me, you can do so by e-mail:
spongebathbill (at) gmail (dot) com
This, too, has been horribly disfigured, though not to the nigh-unrecognizable
level at which it once soared. This is just to stop bots and stuff from
latching onto my address and sending me pointless things. The (at) and (dot)
are just for show. Type @ where it says (at) and . where it says (dot). This is
just a method of crowd control, you have my apologies.
Make sure you be very clear in your subject or you’ll probably be blocked. I
need ‘Zelda character guide’ or something similar to ensure I even open it,
‘cause I really don’t want to have to deal with stuff I don’t want to have to
deal with.
=~=In Closing=~=
[INC]
Well, I hope you enjoyed my Zelda Series Character Guide. This guide did get
rushed so I could get it out before Twilight Princess hit and a deluge of
guides overwhelmed this one, so it was pretty fatiguing. As an added side
effect, the hurried nature of the work may have taken you on a roller coaster
ride in terms of writing quality, but I hope I at least kept it up to a
moderately decent standard. Yes, moderately decent, something we can all
aspire to.
Well, there’s always new content I could add; I’m always kicking around ideas
for expanding my work, and there’s certainly a lot of profiles I could have
done and a few more possible sections that show potential.
Whatever happens, you can rest assured I will try to keep up with the new
releases and endeavour to chronicle the new generations of genius characters
that the Big N comes up with.
~Adam
End of Document
