"At least, some of them call me that. Would you believe there are still a few stubborn holdouts who refuse to recognize my supreme authority? But now they've gone too far -- they've stolen my favorite flag!
"I know what you're thinking: who would do such a despicable thing? I'll tell you who -- the nastiest, foulest, most loathsome critters in all of Poly-Esta: Fleas! And I'll bet that rotten Flea Queen is behind it all! In fact, she's probably teamed up with the Shprouts, Rockyfella, Womack Spider, and every other troublemaker around here.
"Well, they're really in for it now. Besides my amazing, stupendous ability to fire my arms and legs at will, I've got my nifty jetpack, off-road truck, 'copter, and secret supervehicle. By golly, we'll show 'em who's boss!
"So c'mon, already -- let's go get 'em!"