PlayStation 3

Assassin's CreedDon't procrastinate, assasinate!...OK, procrastinate a little.12/03/077/10
Batman: Arkham Asylum*Insert epic Danny Elfman Batman theme here*09/04/099/10
BayonettaThe only game that will probably reserve you a spot in Hell if you play it. It may be worth it...01/26/108/10
BioShockI choose you, Rapture-chu!11/07/0810/10
BioShock 2How to pick up chicks: Rapture style!03/05/109/10
BlackSite: Area 51It's awful, Henry. It's awful.01/09/082/10
BlazBlue: Continuum ShiftThe wheel of fate keeps on turning. Don't know where I'll be tomorrow...probably getting my ass kicked online.08/04/109/10
COD World at WarIt's back to World War II! Don't forget to bring a towel.11/20/089/10
COD4: Modern WarfareOne duty-filled call that MUST be answered!11/19/0710/10
Condemned 2: BloodshotHoly savage beatings, Batman!04/04/088/10
Dead SpaceIn space, no one can hear you kiss your sorry ass goodbye...10/23/089/10
Dead Space 2No TV and no beer make Isaac something something...02/02/119/10
DW: Gundam 2Update: Giant robots still don't get it, continue to require beatings04/30/098/10
Dynasty Warriors: GundamWell, if you want giant robots beaten, your gonna have to do it yourself!09/04/077/10
F.E.A.R. 2: OriginA game that once again proves my theory: Little girls with long black hair must be KILLED!!02/23/098/10
Fallout 3What do you mean there's no McDonald's???01/26/099/10
Far Cry 2The best *driving down dirt roads* simulator ever made!! Oh, and you shoot things, too.12/23/086/10
FolkloreWarning: This game contains a badass!10/23/079/10
God of War CollectionThey say one is the lonliest number that you'll ever see...so add two and make it a threeway! Because it's God of War and...ya know...12/09/0910/10
God of War IIIHe's on our mountain, killing our dudes!!03/26/1010/10
Grand Theft Auto IVSuper damn fun happy time for the whole family! Damn hell ass damn!05/14/089/10
GTA: Liberty CityRockstar gives us two more chances for them to provide our children with excellent role models!05/04/109/10
Haze*Cough, Cough*...05/28/087/10
Heavenly SwordHeavenly Sword will hit your weak point for MASSIVE DAMAGE...in a good way!09/17/078/10
Killzone 2Death wears a Gas-Mask.03/11/0910/10
LairOh Noes, it's Lair!! Women and Children first!!09/04/077/10
Lost Planet 2Well, at least it's not Lost Planet 1.06/01/107/10
MAGIt's time to kick bubblegum and chew ass, and I'm all out of gum...and chew!02/09/108/10
Marvel vs. Capcom 3Gonna take me for a ri- *gets hit with a million Sentinel assist attacks*02/24/119/10
Medal of Honor: AirborneGERONIMOOOOOoooooo.......12/10/078/10
Mercenaries 2My ass hurts, and it's not because of the gunshot wound09/08/085/10
Metal Gear Solid 4There's no need for a witty tagline on this one06/19/0810/10
Mirror's EdgeWe're living on the edge! (You can't stop the Faith from faaaaaaaalling!!)12/01/087/10
Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2Go ninja, go ninja go! Go ninja, go ninja go!10/19/099/10
PoP Forgotten SandsUgh. Sand truly does get everywhere.06/14/108/10
Prince of Persia Alright, I'll help you save your kingdom! Just try not to stare at my ass...01/05/099/10
R&C:Tools of DestructionBust out the Groovitrons, the universe needs saving!!11/05/079/10
Rainbow Six Vegas 2Meet the new game, same as the old game...but still fun, dammit!03/31/088/10
Ratchet & Clank BootyButterscotch Sniker Doodles!08/28/088/10
Ratchet & Clank CrackThe universe is still in need of saving, despite no Huey Lewis soundtrack11/25/099/10
Resident Evil 5Chris Redfield only cares about two things: his freaks and his peaks. He'll be getting plenty of both here.03/24/099/10
Resistance 2So much epicness, it will make you want to slap your mama!11/14/089/10
Silent Hill: HomecomingHome is where the heart is...and the liver, and the spleen, and the intestines...10/08/089/10
SIREN: Blood CurseNext time you come across a human sacrifice ritual taking place, you may want to let it go...08/01/089/10
SoulCalibur IVBeneath all that awesome bewb-age lies a soul that still burns!08/06/089/10
Street Fighter IVThe fighter's dream returns. World peace soon to follow.02/27/099/10
SW: The Force UnleashedWhat did Obi-Wan tell Luke when the waiter brought him his salad?09/29/087/10
The Orange BoxHey you! Yeah you! Do you enjoy the video games?01/06/0810/10
Time Crisis 4Terrorists fear mah plastic peacemaker!!12/10/078/10
Tomb Raider: UnderworldCan't these damn tombs raid themselves?12/08/087/10
TurokIt's time to Turok and roll!! (Dear god, I'm so sorry for that tagline...)02/11/087/10
Uncharted 2: Among ThievesOh LAWLZ, Gears of Dewd Raider got a sequel to Tombs of War! lololo- *gets crushed by exploding train car*10/21/0910/10
Uncharted Drakes FortuneLAWLZ, its Gears Of Dude Raider! lololo-*gets dropkicked in the face*11/27/079/10
Unreal Tournament 3Big, muscular, steroid-induced freaks frag you. What more could you ask for?12/29/078/10
WarhawkI didn't start this war, but it's on!09/10/078/10

Wii

Dead Space ExtractionRemember to use your ass as a flotation device after it gets chewed off in Zero-G.10/12/098/10
Deadly CreaturesA great game for the--OH MY GOD, THERE'S A SPIDER ON YOUR SHOULDER!!!02/17/098/10
DR: Chop Till You DropWalking through a mall full of rotting zombies is STILL healthier than eating at Sbarro's03/18/096/10
Ghost SquadUh-oh, there are terrorists in my neighborhood! Wish I could call someone to deal with them...01/14/087/10
Gunblade NY & L.A. Machineguns Arcade Hits PackCyborg Terrorists: the number one threat to *explosion* oh...nothing.09/07/107/10
House of the Dead 2 & 3I wish I was an expert on the *Gahnome* Theory like GOLDMAAN is!03/24/087/10
House of the Dead OKThat's it! I've had it with these *expletive* mutants eating my *expletive* brains!02/24/098/10
MadworldAll around me are familiar faces. Bloodied faces. Sliced up faces.03/30/098/10
Manhunt 2Controversy creates cash...and mediocre games11/12/075/10
Mario Kart WiiAlright, I'm going to win the rac- hey, what the hell is that blue thing above me...05/05/088/10
Medal of Honor Heroes 2I'm amazed we won WW2, with all the respawning enemies and all...12/04/076/10
Metroid Prime CorruptionCorrupt your Wii with awesomeness!09/11/079/10
Metroid: Other MSamus Aran + Human Emotions = Ruined Franchise?? Not even close...09/22/108/10
MuramasaMonkeys and demon swords. Good combo.09/21/098/10
No More HeroesHey, that's the same thing I said after playing the last Wii *Medal Of Honor* game!01/31/088/10
No More Heroes 2You’re not *Moe!* enough to read this review!02/16/109/10
Resident Evil: DarksideLeon S. Kennedy Vs. The Undertaker Vs. Darth Vader Vs. the semi-truck from Twisted Metal in a Fatal-Four-Way Match? Nah, just more zombie killing!12/15/098/10
Resident Evil: UmbrellaSAVE_US_RESIDENT_EVIL.UC12/04/078/10
Silent Hill: ShatteredSo, tell me about your childhood. Uh-huh, skinless freak monsters. Nah, totally normal...12/22/098/10
Super Smash Bros. BrawlBAH GAWD! That Italian plumber is stomping a mudhole into that yellow rodent's ass!03/20/089/10
Tales of Symphonia IIIs that a Nutcracker? Oh wait, it's just Lloyd Irving...02/03/098/10
Tatsunoko vs. CapcomKicking butt and taking names, one giant golden robot at a time!02/22/109/10

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