hide results

    Walkthrough by GValko

    Version: 0.7 | Updated: 02/24/12 | Printable Version | Search Guide | Bookmark Guide

    Kingdom of Loathing FAQ
    
    
    by GValko
    
    
    v0.1 - Started
    v0.5  -Completed all but Misc/Req quests for now first live version
    v0.6  -Completed required quests, FAQ is now a complete walkthrough.
    v0.7  -Hey I updated all the new mainline quests & Nemesis quest.
    ==============
    Introduction
    =============
    
    Since the advent of NS13 (June 2007), many older unupdated sources no longer
    accurately reflect the game. This guide is an attempt for a basic reference
    of what is needed to complete the game, and basic descriptions for newer
    players. If more in-depth knowledge is needed, please consult the The KoLWiki
    at Coldfront. http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Main_Page
    
    The Wiki is much-more in-depth and contains links to just about everything one
    needs.
    
    1. Mechanics
    	a. Stats
    	b. Monster Level
    	c. Elements
    	d. Damage Mitigation
     2. Classes
     	a. Muscle Classes
    		i.  Seal Clubber
    		ii. Turtle Tamer
    	b. Mysticality Classes
    		i.  Sauceror
    		ii. Pastamancer
    	c. Moxie Classes
    		i.  Disco Bandit
    		ii. Accordion Thief
     3. Quests
     	a1. Level 1 quest 
    	a2. Level 1 quest (alternate)
    	b.  Level 2 quest  - 
    	c.  Level 3 quest
    	d.  Level 4 quest
    	e.  Level 5 quest
    	f.  Level 6 quest
    	g.  Level 7 quest
    	h.  Level 8 quest
    	i.  Level 9 quest
    	j.  Level 10 quest
    	k.  Level 11 quest
    	l.  Level 12 quest
    	m.  Level 13 quest
     4. Side-Quests
     	a. Guild Quests
    	b. Basement
    	c. Hobopolis
    	d. Required Quests
    	e. Misc. Quests
    	
    =======================
    1. Mechanics
    =======================
    	a. Stats
    	
    	There are 3 stats in Kingdom of Loathing, Muscle, Mysticality, and 
    	Moxie.
    	
    	Muscle - The typical strength/dexterity stat. It determines:
    		 1. HP
    		 2. Which melee weapons you can equip. (Non-chef staves)
    		 3. Which shields you can equip.
    		 3. Hit rate of melee weapons
    		 4. Damage reduction with a shield (only with Hero of the Half
    		    Shell)
    		 5. Physical damage calculation
    	Mysticality - The typical magic/wisdom stat. It determines:
    		 1. MP
    		 2. Which chef-staves you may equip.
    		 3. Which accessories you may equip.
    		 4. Bonus spell damage
    	Moxie - The typical agility stat. It determines:
    		1. Dodge rate
    		2. Which ranged weapons you may equip
    		3. What armor (hats/pants/shirts) you may equip
    		4. Damage reduction with a shield
    	
    	Typically, in terms of all the stats, Moxie is the most important,
    	Muscle and Mysticality are split, as it really depends on how damage
    	is calculated.
    	
    	All stats have 2 statuses. Base and buffed. Base is the actual stat, 
    	while buffed refers to the number in parenthesis next to it. Base stats
    	are used to determine what equipment is equippable, while buffed stats
    	are used to determine combat. As for which locations are accesible, it
    	is a mix.
    
    	b. Monster Level
    	(ML)
    	Monster level is an important concept to understand. It is essentially
    	the combined muscle/moxie of a monster. In order to hit a monster, you
    	must be within 20 points of the ML, or else you will miss without a 
    	critical hit. In the case that you exceed the ML, the extra muscle will
    	be converted to bonus damage. This is only true of physical damage, as
    	spells will automatically hit an opponent.
    	
    	The converse is true, monster must be within 20 points of your moxie, in
    	order to hit you. Any extra points that monsters have on you will also
    	be converted into extra damage against you.
    	
    	In both cases, a critical hit will automatically bypass the checks, and
    	is an automatic hit. 
    	
    	Monster Level also determines the amount of stat given to you after a 
    	sucessful battle. The total substat gain is approximately ML/4.
    		
    	c. Elements
    	
    	There are 5 base elements in KoL. There are several other types, however
    	they are only special cases. (shadow, bad spelling). Each element will
    	deal double damage to 2 others, and take double damage from 2 others.
    	Any damage from the same source to an elemental monster will reduce all
    	damage done to 1.
    	
    	In addition to this, some monsters are physically resistant. Any normal
    	damage will be reduced to 1, however spell and elemental damage is 
    	applied normally. These enemies are rare, and will appear about 4 times
    	in normal play.  However, 3 must be killed in order to beat the game.
    
    	Normally, attacks will separate elements and attack as a split sum. In
    	order to become totally aligned with a specific element, one must use a
    	phial potion of that specific element. This will also bypass the
    	physical resistance of an enemey.
    	
    	Hot:
    	Deals double to: Cold, Spooky
    	Takes double from: Stench, Sleaze
    	Typical locations:
    	The only real location where heat shows up is the level 6 quest, and the
    	resulting Friar's Gate.
     	
    	Cold
    	Deals double to: Sleaze, Stench
    	Takes double from: Hot, Spooky
    	Typical locations: 
    	The only real enemies that deal cold damage are the locations  on 
    	Mt. McLargeHuge, which will open as part of the level 8 quest.
    	
    	Stench:
    	Deals double to: Hot, Spooky
    	Takes double from: Cold, Sleaze
    	Typical locations: 
    	Stench is fairly rare, however between hippies and non-Hobopolis hobos,
    	it shows up in spades. In addition filthworms, will deal stench damage.
    	
    	Spooky:
    	Deals double to: Cold, Sleaze
    	Takes double from: Hot, Stench
    	Typical locations: 
    	The most common element in the game. Any enemies in the Cemetary, Cyrpt,
    	Spookyraven Manor, and the Buried Pyramid are almost guaranteed to deal
    	spooky damage.
    	
    	Sleaze:
    	Deals double to: Stench, Hot
    	Takes double from: Cold, Spooky
    	Typical locations: 
    	Probably the rarest element in the game. There are only 2 sources in the
    	game. The first is frat boys, and the enemies in the Hole in the Sky. 
    	
    	c. Damage Mitigation
    	
    	Typically there are 4 ways to deal with reducing the damage a character
    	will take when hit.
    	
    	Moxie buffing  -   Obviously, if a monster can't hit you, he won't deal
    			   damage. 
    	Damage Reduction - This is a straight removal of damage. Receieved from
    			   shields, though some other sources exist.
    	Damage Absorption - This removes a % of all net damage (up to 90%) from
    			   a successful enemy attack. The total absorption is
    			   determined from the total power of your armor, as 
    			   well as any bonus effects or enchantments.
    	Elemental Resistance - Finally, a % of all elemental damage is reduced,
    			   that depends on the overall level of your resistance
    			   to that elemental source. The curve goes from a level
    			   of 1 (10%) to 47. (90%). In addition, resistance may
    			   be needed to pass certain tests in order to progress.
     2. Classes
     	
     	There are 6 classes in Kingdom of Loathing. Each of the 3 stats has 2
    	classes associated with them. For all of the classes, this stat will
    	determine the stat gains. All gains are weighted such that the main
    	stat will gain approx. 2:1:1 substat in comparison to the other stats.
    	
    	For example, if a monster gives 20 substat total is defeated by a 
    	muscle class, they would gain 10 muscle substat, 5 mysticality substat,
    	and 5 moxie substat.
     
    	With the exceptions of Accordion Thieves, all classes have some crafting
    	skill and an associated element. Muscle and Myst classes also get a
    	bonus +50% to HP and MP respectively.
    	
     	a. Muscle Classes
    	Muscle classes are based out of the Brotherhood of the Smackdown. 
    	Players who have learned Pulverize may use the Malus of Forethought, 
    	which allows the pounding of powders into nuggets, and nuggets into wads
    	(5 powders/nuggets yield 1 nugget/wad). Wads are important, as they are
    	the most common spleen consumption item. Muscle classes are also needed
    	to craft advanced equipment, though most dropped equipment is superior.
    	
    		i.  Seal Clubber
    			Features: Bonus melee damage and Pulverize.
    			Crafting: Weapons (allows use of ore), 
    			Element: Cold
    		ii. Turtle Tamer
    			Features: Bonus familiar weight, and damage absorption.
    			Crafting: Armor (allows use of skins)
    			Element: Spooky
    			
    	b. Mysticality Classes
    	Mysticality classes are based out of The League of the Chef-Magi. 
    	Players who have learned Transcendental Noodlecraft are allowed to use
    	the Wok of the Ages, which allows for meins, dumplings, and lasagnas to
    	be created. These are the best makeable dishes, and give everything but
    	rarer dishes the largest adventure and substat gain. Both mysticality 
    	classes are needed in order to make any good food, which can easilly cut
    	the time needed to complete an ascension in half. 
    	
    	In addition, Saucerors may yield 3 potions per 1 reagent, and have an 
    	inherent bonus 5 turns to the potions effects.
    	
    		i.  Sauceror
    			Features: Spell Damage, Potions 
    			Crafting: Potions and Sauces (allows use of reagents)
    			Element: Stench
    		ii. Pastamancer
    			Features: Combat familiars, Chef-Staves
    			Crafting: Food (allows use of noodles)
    			Element: Hot
    			
    	c. Moxie Classes
    	Moxie classes are based out of The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts
    	. Players who have learned Superhuman Cocktailcrafting have access to 
    	Nash Crosby's Still, which allows drinks and fruits to be distilled into
    	more potent forms. In addition, both classes are allowed to pick-pocket
    	items enemies are carrying if they get the jump on them. In addition,
    	Accordion Thieves are able to sneak into the stores of the other guilds,
    	and may purchase things. This is especially important, as the best MP
    	restorer (Magical Mystery Juice) may only be bought from the Chef-Magi
    	store. 
    	
    	The most common attack strategy of moxie classes is called "plinking", 
    	where one delevels an opponent into attack range, and takes advantage of
    	the high hit % and dodge % to kill enemies.
    	
    		i.  Disco Bandit
    			Features: Deleveling, Plinking
    			Crafting: Cocktails (allows use of mixers)
    			Element: Sleaze
    		ii. Accordion Thief
    			Features: Buffs, Buffs, Buffs. (Maximum of 3/4 active)
    			Crafting: None
    			Element: None
    			
    		Locations:
    		Objectives:
    		Rewards:
     3. Quests
     	a1. Level 1 quest 
    		Locations: Mt. Noob
    		Objectives: Complete Training with the Toot Oriole
    		Rewards: Certificate of Participation 
    		
    		This is the tutorial. Complete the tutorial.
    		
    		This is only for the first ascension, all other times see the
    		alternate version of this quest.
    		
    	a2. Level 1 quest (alternate) 
    		Locations: Mt. Noob
    		Objectives: Visit the Toot Oriole 
    		Rewards: letter from King Ralph XI
    		
    		All you have to do is visit him twice, once after opening the
    		letter.
    		
    	b.  Level 2 quest 
    		Locations: Spooky  Forest
    		Objectives: mosquito larva
    		Rewards: mosquito larva (first time), 500 meat
    		
    		This quest unlocks the woods. It's fairly simple, and all you
    		really need to do is fetch and return. You should also buy a 
    		terrarium if you've never done so before.
    		
    		In order to get the mosquito larva, when you find yourself in 
    		"Arboreal Respite" choose to explore the stream and march to the
    		marsh.
    		
    	c.  Level 3 quest 
    		Locations: The Typical Tavern
    		Objectives: Stop the rat menace
    		Rewards: 3 Typical Tavern swill, shiny ring
    		
    		Won't open without level 2 quest complete.
    		
    		This is a fairly simple quest. You'll probably want something
    		to map it out, as the 24 squares are semi-random.
    		
    					A x x x S
    					A x x x x
    					A x x x x
    					B B x x x
    					B B C C C
    		
    		S is the stairs leading back to the Tavern itself.
    		A,B,C all mark possible special encounter regions.
    		
    		Each region can contain one of 3 possible encounters, and may
    		only contain one of each of the following:
    		
    		The first encounter will give you a shiny ring and a potion that
    		buffs your main stat. (You can buy these from the Market).
    		
    		The second encounter will be the rat faucet. Turning off the
    		faucet will end the quest, though you may come down here later
    		and use it to fight more rats.
    		
    		The third encounter will be the boss Baron Von Ratsworth. He is
    		optional, but may be fought for special items.
    		
    		Now note that A doesn't have to be the first special encounter,
    		nor does B have to be the second, or C the third. 
    		
    		The fastest way to complete this quest however is to find a ring 
    		in the A or C regions and then search B for the faucet.
    		
    		Encounter wise, you will find rats, mobs of drunken rats, or 
    		drunken rat-kings. They appear proportionally to bonus monster 
    		level. Drunken ratkings drop a tangle of rat tails which is an
    		item of some use.
    		
    	d.  Level 4 quest 
    		Locations: Bat Hole
    		Objectives: Kill Boss Bat
    		Rewards: batskin belt, 1 dense meat stack
    		
    		The first thing you need is to obtain stench resistance. If you
    		don't have a buff or other resistance, you can get get a Pine-
    		Fresh air freshener from the pine bats in the Entryway. 
    		
    		(Another popular source is the Knob Goblin Harem Veil which may
    		be obtained to complete the Level 5 quest)
    		
    		Once you get stench resistance, you can adventure in the Guano
    		Junction. 
    		
    		In order to open the blocked chambers, you will have to get a 
    		sonar-in-the-biscuit or fight a screambat. Screambats will show
    		up every 8 turns spent in the junction (or 2 chambers off to the
    		side.)
    		
    		(It would be suggestible to get an enchanted bean from the
    		Beanbat chamber now, but not required)
    		
    		You must defeat several Beefy Bodyguard Bats before you have a 
    		shot at fighting the Boss Bat. It really won't take more than 
    		1 or 2 adventures afterwards to kill him.
    		
    		Boss Bat may drop several items depending MCD settings.
    		
    	e.  Level 5 quest 
    		Locations: The Cobb's Knob
    		Objectives: Kill the Knob Goblin King
    		Rewards: Crown of the Goblin King*, 2 dense meat stacks
    		
    		In order to gain full access to the Knob, you need to obtain the
    		decryption key from the Outskirts of the Knob. You will find the
    		key after spending 10 turns on the outskirts...this is scheduled
    		to occur.
    		
    		Once inside, there are two approached to gaining access to the 
    		king.
    		
    		Harem - Obtain a Harem Girl outfit. While the drop rate is kind
    		of low, you will obtain an outfit automatically in 11 turns.
    		
    		You then need to use some Knob Goblin perfume which is dropped
    		by the madams. Alternatively, attempting to revisit the Harem in
    		full outfit will give you the effect.
    		
    		Guard - Obtain a Knob Goblin Elite Guard outfit by picking up
    		the pieces in the Barracks. Once in full uniform, harass the 
    		cooks in the kitchens for some cake ingredients. Bake the cake
    		(This will require a Dramatic Range) and frost it.
    		
    		Regardless of the route, you will fight the King there after. He
    		has no special abilities, so you should be able to take him down
    		with no real problem.
    		
    		*-The reward may vary due to MCD settings, but ignore this on
    		the first run.
    		
    	f.  Level 6 quest 
    		Locations: The Friar's Gate
    		Objectives: Banish the demons
    		Rewards: Special Buffs, Friar's Gate opens
    		
    		This quest is fairly simple. you need to adventure in the Heart,
    		Elbow, and Neck of the woods, and obtain:
    		
    		eldritch butterknife
    		dodecagram
    		bof of birthday candles
    		
    		To speed up acquisition, you should try to lower the combat 
    		frequency.
    		
    		After obtaining all 3, visit the ritual location to finish it.
    	
    	g.  Level 7 quest 
    		Location: The Cyrpt
    		Objectives: Undefile the Crypt
    		Rewards: Chest of the Bonerdagon, dragonskull beltbuckle
    		
    		This is a fairly simple quest. There are 4 subbosses that must
    		be defeated before you fight the Bonerdagon. Each of these 4
    		also has a weakness to a certain item that can be found by 
    		making the right choice. This is a small chart of what you can
    		expect:
    		
    		Alcove - Zmobies
    		-Look in the wet one
    		Niche - Lihcs
    		-Second urn
    		Nook - Skeelton
    		-Third one
    		Cranny - Ghouls
    		-Dig through rubble on the ground*
    		
    		How the quest works is that you start off with Evilosity of 200,
    		evenly split among the subsections of the Cyrpt.
    		
    		Fighting a monster in a zone will normally take one beep off the
    		evil rating. Getting a zone to 25 or below will cause the 
    		subboss to emerge. Defeating it will clear the zone of evil 
    		completely.
    		
    		There are ways to clear off more than 1 blip at a time:
    		Alcove - Modern zmobies will take off 5 beeps. They will occur
    			 more frequently the higher your combat iniative is.
    		Niche -  Dirty old lihcs will take off 3 beeps.
    		Nook  -  Skeeltons here drop evil eyes. These drop the evil by 3
    			 per eye destroyed so you should boost your item drops.
    		Cranny - During the choice adventure, investigating the rattling
    			 drawer will cause you to fight a large group of ghuols.
    			 The size varies by bonus monster level you're running,
    			 and the larger the group, the more beeps it takes off.
    			 (Also lowering combat rates will work well)
    		
    		Clearing all the evil from the Cyrpt will cause it to spike up 
    		as the Haert of the Cyrpt is revealed.
    		
    		The Bonerdagon is a tough fight. He can block items and skills,
    		and generally is overpowered. 
    		
    		If you don't know, combining the beltbuckle and the batskin belt
    		will give a badass belt, an accessory that gives +5 to all stat.
    		
    	h.  Level 8 quest 
    		Location: Mt. McLargeHuge
    		Objectives: Help the Trapz0r.
    		Rewards: 5,000 meat, 5 yeti skins, Icy Peak
    		
    		The first thing you'll need to do is obtain 3 pieces of ore.
    		You'll need to get a Mining Outfit in order to mine, and once
    		you get it, you can mine and collect the ore (typically found in
    		the last 2 rows, so dig back at first).
    		
    		After giving the Trapz0r the ore, keep your mining outfit on one
    		more time, and dig out the avlanche blocking the Goatlet.
    		
    		In the Goatlet, we need to get 6 goat cheese. Only the dairy 
    		goat will drop these. It'll take some time, but isn't too bad.
    		
    		After this we'll need to obtain some cold resistance. If you're
    		not naturally cold resistance or have a buff, you'll need to get
    		the effect from 2 possible sources. 
    		
    		If you have a hot katana blade and hot running pants from 
    		Demonninja, you can adventure in the Ninja Snowmen Lair, and get
    		an icy hilt and a cold ninja mask, and after combining hilt
    		and blade, you'll have the Hot and Cold Running Ninja Suit.
    		
    		If not, collect the pieces of gear from the eXtreme Slope, to
    		get the eXtreme Cold-Weather Gear
    		
    		After getting cold resistance, one more trip to the Trapz0r will
    		open the Peak, and complete the quest.
    		
    	i.  Level 9 quest 
    		Location: Valley Beyond the Orc Chasm
    		Objectives: Rescue the Baron
    		Rewards: fascimile dictionary (21,337 meat) and a drywall axe.
    		
    		First, in order to get here, you need to untinker the abridged
    		dictionary. You can buy this from Barrrney's Bookstorrre while
    		traveling in the Pirate's Cove disguised (or with fledges) for
    		1,000 meat. This will unlock the valley. All monsters here are
    		weak to use of the dictionary, and will normally kill them in 
    		only a few hits, if you're having trouble dealing damage.
    				
    		In order to complete this quest, you need to obtain these items:
    		2 334 scrolls
    		1 30669 scroll
    		1 33398 scroll
    		
    		After this, continue adventuring.
    		
    		When the rampant adding machine shows up, use 2 334 scrolls, to
    		create a 668 scroll. Use a 30669 scroll and a 33398 scroll to
    		make a 64067 scroll. Finally use the 668 scroll and the 64067 
    		scroll to create a 65735 ("GATES") scroll, and use it to end the
    		quest.
    		
    		668 scrolls and 30669 scrolls may be created to make 31337
    		scrolls, however they are not required and are only a bonus.
    		
    	j.  Level 10 quest 
    		Locations: Sky
    		Objectives: Stop the garbage
    		Rewards: Piece of Glad Bag Rags outfit
    		
    		The sky is really falling. Time to stop it.
    		
    		If you never obtained one, get an enchanted bean from the
    		Beanbat chamber. Use it from inventory to create a beanstalk in
    		the Nearby Plains.
    		
    		Atop the beanstalk, you need to adventure in the Penultimate 
    		Fantasy Airship until you collect all 4 pieces of Immateria, and
    		collect the S.O.C.K. . This will open the Giant Castle in the 
    		Sky.
    		
    		In the Castle, you simply need to adventure until you hid the
    		adventure where you can turn the wheel. Turn in any direction, 
    		and visit the council. The quest will clear as long as the 
    		Procrastination Giant is not on garbage duty.
    		
    	k.  Level 11 quest 
    		Locations: Too many
    		Objectives: Obtain the Holy MacGffin
    		Rewards: handful of confetti
    		
    		This is really 6 or so subquests tied altogether. It's long
    		and very involved. I'll break this up into it's usual order.
    		
    		Getting Your Father's Diary:
    		
    		You'll need to adventure in the Black Forest until you get
    		sunken eyes, broken wings, and a black market map. Combine the
    		former two, collect your familiar, take it out, and use the map.
    		
    		Documents cost 10,000 meat. You'll also want to pick up at least
    		one can of black paint (1,000 meat).
    		
    		Take a trip at the Shore, and you'll get the diary. Read it all.
    		
    		Obtaining the Staff:
    		Hidden City:
    		In order to gain access to the Hidden City, you must have 
    		unlocked the Hidden Temple (see Required Quests), and make the
    		following choices: Raise your hands, spell BANANAS, and do
    		nothing.
    		
    		You'll unlock the Hidden City, which is very close to the Tavern
    		There are 25 squares, and here's the breakdown:
    		
    		14 ruins
    		5 ancient guardian spirits
    		4 altars
    		1 dead archeologist
    		1 temple
    
    		The ancient guardian spirits will drop 4 spheres and a dagger.
    		All of them are physically resistant, or can be killed by using
    		a scroll of ancient forbidden unspeakable evil in one hit. Each
    		of the 4 spheres will correspond to an element when used in 
    		battle, and stick them in the appropriate altars. (For those
    		unaware, the 4 gods are all Pokemon: Pikachu, Bulbasaur, 
    		Charlizard, and Squirtle. Place the spheres in the correct spots
    		and you'll be able to open the temple.
    		
    		In the temple, there's one more guardian spirit, but he can be
    		taken down by a scroll of A.F.U.E. just as easilly as the others
    		.
    		
    		Spookyraven Manor:
    		In order to complete this queswt, you'll need to have opened and
    		unlocked Spookyraven Manor to the fullest extent. (Req. Quests)
    		
    		To start with, make sure you have at least Lord Spookyraven's
    		spectacles. If not, obtain them from the Bedroom.
    		
    		Adventure in the Ballroom, until you get "They'll All Be Flat".
    		
    		This unlocks the Wine Cellar, so now adventure there until you
    		get two or three of the dusty bottles. Wearing the spectacles
    		will allow you to identify the glyphs (open the item description
    		), and collect the 3 types needed to open the summoning chamber.
    		Pour the wine down in this order: top, left, right.
    		
    		Lord Spookyraven can be fairly challenging, however, aside from
    		a massive elemental damage for his first attack, he'll weaken.
    		Use some base elemental resistance to survive. (Can of black 
    		paint works well, but you'll need another)
    		
    		Palindome:
    		
    		You'll need to obtain your Prate Fledges to start this quest.
    		(Required Quests, again)
    		
    		Adventure in the Poop Deck until you get "It's Always Swordfish"
    		and then start going Belowdecks. You'll need to get 2 snakehead
    		charrrms from Gaudy Pirates. Paste them together will make the
    		Talisman O'Nam. Equipping it opens the Palindome in the Plains.
    		
    		Adventure there until you get the following items, and stunt
    		nuts. When the appropriate choice adventure comes up, place the
    		items as such:
    		
    		Shelf #1: photograph of God
    		Shelf #2: hard rock candy
        		Shelf #3: ketchup hound
        		Shelf #4: hard-boiled ostrich egg 
    		
    		Read the result, and head for the Knob Labratory. Meet Mr Alarm.
    		
    		Adventure in Whitey's Grove until you get bird rib and lion oil.
    		
    		Bake those two, then the nuts to make wet stunt nut stew. Give
    		it to Mr. Alarm. Equip the Mega Gem, and go back to the 
    		Palindome.
    		
    		Any choice and you'll fight Dr. Awkward. It isn't too hard.
    		
    		After obtaining the 3 items (staff, headpiece, amulet) combine
    		them to get the Staff of Ed.
    		
    		Unlocking the Pyramid:
    		Adventure in the Desert until you get the option to buy a
    		carburetor or haggle. Haggle, and the Oasis will open.
    		
    		One turn in the Oasis will allow 5 in the Desert without bad
    		effects.
    		
    		Keep adventuring in the desert, visiting Oasis as needed, until
    		you need to get the Stone Rose from the Oasis. Get it and a drum
    		machine as well.
    		
    		Continue to adventure in the Desert, give him the Stone Rose,
    		and then the black paint, and finally the drum machine.
    		
    		After this, you need to pick up the manual pages from the Oasis,
    		get all 15 pages (It's really only 1,2, then 3-15 in adventures)
    		. Get the worm-riding hooks. Equip them, use a drum machine, and
    		with Staff of Ed, open pyramid proper.
    		
    		Ed The Undying:
    		
    		Alright, this will work out fairly quickly. You'll need to get:
    		
    		an ancient token -> an ancient bomb -> rubble to fight Ed.
    		
    		You'll need to spin the lower chamber 3 times, then 4, then 3.
    		
    		To spin, you either need a tomb ratchet, or a carved wooden
    		wheel. Both are found in the Upper Chambers, though ratchets 
    		only drop after getting the wheel. The wheel must be placed in 
    		the Middle Chambers.
    		
    		Ed requires 7 turns to kill, so be careful. After this, enjoy
    		your parade.
    		
    	l.  Level 12 quest 
    		Locations: Mysterious Island
    		Objectives: Nuke the Hippies and/or Orcs.
    		Rewards: War Medal  (varies on #'s of sub-quest completed)
    		
    		In order to trigger this quest, you must have at least visited
    		the Palindome once.
    
    		Alright to begin with, you need to choose a side. Hippy or Frat.
    		
    		Make sure you have that outfit, and start visiting the right
    		area until you collect the war version of your outfit. Once this
    		is done, equip it, visit it, and start the war. 
    		
    		In the Fratacombs head to the roof to start it as a Hippie.
    		In Blokckin out the Scenery, head to the Lookout Tower, to start
    		it as a Frat.
    		
    		Alright, there are now 1000 enemies you must kill in order to
    		breach the opposing side and kill their boss. There are 6 sub-
    		quests available, and the amount of completion determines the
    		amount killed in an encounter by this:
    		
    		Enemies Killed = 2^N 
    		where N is # of quests completed for a side.
    		
    		3 are available right off the bat for each side, but to get the
    		other side's 3, you need to do fighting. 
    		
    		Most items you get during fights can be traded in your camp's
    		shop for gear and other items.
    		
    		Once you've defeated the opposing side's boss, you'll obtain an
    		item sellable for 5,000 meat, and a war medal from the council.
    		The medal varies depending on quests done and side.
    		
    		To obtain the Order of the Silver Wossname, the secret medal,
    		you must kill 999 opponents as each side, and then use a
    		flarrregun in the resulting conflict. (The easiest way is to
    		fight a single battle while doing no quests, then another with
    		one quest down, another with two done, and then 124 with all 3
    		done)
    		
    		Subquests:
    		Junkyard - You have to obtain 4 tools from gremlins. Each type 
    		of gremlin will only carry one type of tool, though AMCs carry
    		none.
    		
    		For more info, see:
    		http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php
    		/Retrieve_Yossarian%27s_Tools
    		
    		As the mechanics are a bit complex.
    		
    		Rewards: Random piece of equipment
    		
    		Mysterious Island Arena:
    		This is actually fairly simple. You need to slap flyers on 
    		enough enemies, so the total ML exceeds 10000. Some suggest
    		using the Guy Made of Bees, but if you start the Level 11 quest
    		late, this will cost almost 0 extra turns
    		
    		Reward: Ability to choose 1 of 3 buffs
    		
    		Sonofa Beach:
    		This one is an absolute pain without something to increase 
    		combat. The combat rate is low, and you must kill 5 
    		lobsterfrogmen in order to get the barrels needed.
    		
    		Reward: Allows you to purchase bonus explosives from your camp
    			store.
    		
    		Organic Orchard:
    		You need to obtain a gland from one area, use it, progress, and
    		repeat until you obtain the Heart of the Queen.
    		
    		Reward: Unlocks the Hippy Stand again, gives ~4,000 meat daily,
    			unlocks 3 more items depending on side.
    		
    		MacGillicudddy's Farm:
    		You need to kill ducks. This goes fairly quickly if you do the
    		following:
    		
    		Fight ducks in the barn, using a chaos butterfly against one,
    		and choose to unlock Cold, Hot, and Sleaze. This will trigger
    		a tornado and halve the remaining ducks. 
    		
    		If not, refer to this:
    		
    		Corner 1:
    		Pitchfork	- Granary	- Fat (More meat)
    		Cowbell		- Bog		- Stench
    		Fence  		- Pond		- Cold
    		Corner 2:
    		Lantern 	- Back 40	- Hot 
    		Corner 3:	- Plot		- Spooky
    		Shotgun		- Shady Thicket	- Booze
    		Drum		- Other Back 40	- Sleaze
    
    		Rewards: You'll get 3 items daily, and after the war, more daily
    		duck fights.
    		
    		ThemThar Hills:
    		
    		You need to obtain 100,000 total meat from killing bandits.
    		Boost your meat drops, and it'll go somewhat quickly.
    		
    		There is a bit of a glitch with this quest. You may get credit
    		for completing it as a Frat Boy without actually reaching the
    		Nuns by retrieving the last of the meat by defeating a copied
    		bandit in the Frat gear. (Copying is a mechanic you will only 
    		see if you have access to Spooky Putty, can of Rain-Doh, or 
    		other Mr. Store items)
    		
    		Rewards: 1000 HP restored 3 times daily, and 1000 MP as well if
    			 done as a Frat Boy.
    			 
    	m.  Level 13 quest 
    		Locations: Lair of the Naughty Sorceress
    		Objectives: Defeat her Naughtiness
    		Rewards: Winning the game.
    		
    		This is a severely multi-faceted quest that requires some prep
    		and back-farming if you're not ready.
    		
    		Entryway:
    		Don't even think of starting this until you have one of each of
    		these:
    		The 6 keys:  Boris's Key, Sneaky Pete's Key, Jarlsberg's Key
    			     digital key (30 white pixel), Richard's Star Key
    			     (8 lines, 7 stars), and a skeleton key
    		Entry Potions:
    			Bang potions: You'll need one of each bang potion to
    			succeed. These are found in the boxes of the Dungeons of 
    			Doom. They are randomized every ascension, and should be
    			used in combat to figure out effects.
    			
    			South of the Border: All chewing gum, handsomeness 
    			potion, Melagra pills, and marzipan skulls
    			
    		Wand of Nagamar (ruby w, metallic a, lowercase n, heavy d)
    		Instruments:
    			Tambourine or bone rattle
    			Some accordion
    			acoustic guitarrr, heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr, any
    			of the Disco Bandit legendary weapons, massive sitar, or
    			Zim Merman's guitar
    		Familiars: Mosquito, Angry Goat, Barrrnacle, Levitating Potato,
    			   Sabre-Toothed Lime, and a Star Starfish
    		Star Hat, and one of the following Star items: Staff, Sword, or
    							Crossbow
    		
    		Alright, lets get this started:
    		
    		To pass the first obstacles, you need 3 effects, refer to the
    		following:
    		
    		Three Gates:
    		Gate One: 	 	Obtained from:
    		Gate of Hilarity 	gremlin juice
    		Gate of Humility 	wussiness potion
    		Gate of Morose Morbidity and Moping 	thin black candle
    		Gate of Slack 		Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub
    		Gate of Spirit 	 	pygmy pygment
    		Gate of the Porcupine 	super-spikey hair gel
    		Gates of The Suc Rose 	Any candy
    		Gate of The Viper	adder bladder
    		Locked Gate 	 	Black No. 2
    
    		Gate Two: 	
    		Gate of Flame 		jabañero-flavored chewing gum
    		Gate of Intrigue 	handsomeness potion
    		Gate of Machismo 	Meleegra™ pills
    		Gate of Mystery 	pickle-flavored chewing gum
    		Gate of the Dead 	marzipan skull
    		Gate of Torment 	tamarind-flavored chewing gum
    		Gate of Zest 		lime-and-chile-flavored chewing gum
    
    		Gate Three: 		Effect Needed: 	
    		Gate of Light 			Izchak's Blessing 	
    		Gate Of That Which is Hidden 	Object Detection 	
    		Gate of the Mind 		Strange Mental Acuity 
    		Gate of the Ogre	 	Strength of Ten Ettins
    		Gate that is Not a Gate 	Teleportitis	
    		
    		These 5 are obtained from bang potions.
    
    		Giant Mirror: equip your birthday suit
    		
    		Mariachis:
    		Keys:
    		Boris: fish
    		Jarslberg: phish
    		Sneaky Pete: fsh
    		skeleton key: keep trying, or use a ten-leaf clover to win
    		star key: equip star hat & weapon, and use the star starfish
    		digital key: Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A
    		
    		Combine the fish stuff into a hosed tank, equip it, and visit
    		the Strange Odor to press a switch.
    		
    		Visit the mariachis and if you have the right instruments,
    		you're in the clear.
    		
    		
    		Hedge Maze:
    		
    		This seciton isn't too hard. Kill golems, get puzzles. First
    		rotate the puzzles to obtain the hedge key, and then to the
    		door.
    		
    		You need to adventure in the hedgemaze after both cases to get
    		the key and to unlock the door to the Tower.
    		
    		Tower:
    		
    		This can get annoying. Pick up a can of hair spray from the
    		Market Demon, and make a NG if you can. Time to brave the tower.
    		
    		Each level of the tower has a guardian (randomly chosen), which
    		is weak to one combat item. 
    		
    		Levels 1-5:
    		Beer Batter		baseball
    		best-selling novelist	plot hole
    		Big Meat Golem		meat vortex
    		Bowling Cricket		sonar-in-a-biscuit
    		Bronze Chef		leftovers of indeterminate origin
    		concert pianist		Knob Goblin firecracker
    		the darkness		inkwell
    		El Diablo		mariachi G-string
    		Electron Submarine	photoprotoneutron torpedo
    		endangered inflatable white tiger	pygmy blowgun
    		fancy bath slug		fancy bath salts
    		Fickle Finger of F8	razor-sharp can lid
    		Flaming Samurai		frigid ninja stars
    		giant fried egg		black pepper
    		Giant Desktop Globe	NG
    		Ice Cube		can of hair spray
    		malevolent crop circle	bronzed locust
    		possessed pipe-organ	powdered organs
    		Pretty Fly		spider web
    		Tyrannosaurus Tex	chaos butterfly
    		Vicious Easel		disease
    		
    		
    		Level 6:
    		collapsed mineshaft golem	stick of dynamite  (Muscle)
    		Enraged Cow			barbed-wire fence  (Moxie)
    		giant bee			tropical orchid    (Mysticality)
    				
    		these last 3 only show up as results of shore trips. However,
    		if you lay fallow from the shore for 25 turns, you're 
    		guaranteed to gain the item from that zone.
    		
    		Chamber:
    		
    		Heavy & Light Doors: 
    		see: http://jick-nerfed.us/cgi-bin/door.cgi
    		
    		Electrical Attack:
    		Equip mirror shard
    		
    		Shadow:
    		Classic heal to kill boss. If you can funksling, you can get
    		away with garters/poultice. Everyone else needs 4 red pixel
    		potions.
    		
    		Familiars:
    		She'll send 2 familiars after you next. Each will require a
    		20 lb familiar of the right type to beat the other one.
    		
    		To beat the:		Use a 20 lb:
    		Angry Goat		Mosquito
    		Barrrnacle		Angry Goat
    		Levitating Potato	Barrrnacle
    		Mosquito		Sabre-Toothed Lime
    		Sabre-Toothed Lime	Levitating Potato
    	
    		After this, all you'll need to do is kill her Naughtiness.
    		
    		Be warned, she can block like the Bonerdagon, and will remove
    		all status effects.
    		
    		You Came all this way, so good luck :)
    		
    4. Side-Quests
     	a. Guild Quests
    		There are 3 sets of Guild Quests, two given by an alternating
    		member of your guild. The guild member of your class will give
    		you a quest to defeat your nemesis, while the other member will 
    		give you a class to dig up information on Fernswathy. 
    		
    		Olaf/Blaine/Izzy will also give you quests, though they while
    		optional, let you get to Whitey's Grove earlier.
    		
    		Nemesis Quest:
    		
    		In order to complete your Legendary Weapon, you will need to 
    		obtain a big rock and a class item from the hermit. The big rock
    		is found as the special clover adventure in the Lemon Party 
    		Slots in the casino. These two ingredients will need to be 
    		meatsmithed together, and then with your basic class weapon.
    		
    		Seal Clubbers - seal tooth
    		Turtle Tamer  - chisel
    		Pastamancer   - petrified noodles
    		Sauceror      - jabañero pepper
    		Disco Bandit  - banjo strings
    		Accordion Thief - hot-buttered roll
    		
    		This will unlock the Fun House and Barrel Full of Barrels for
    		adventuring. 
    		
    		In order for you to obtain your Legendary Epic Weapon, you need
    		to obtain a special piece of equipment from Beelzebozo from the
    		Fun House. In order to fight him, a total of 4 "clownosity" must
    		be worn. Each point must be distinct, no duplicates are allowed.
    		
    		All equipment drops except for the acid-squirting flower, clown
    		hammer, and polka-dot bow tie are considered 1 clownosity. The
    		bow tie is considered 2, and the others are 0. Any items smithed
    		with clown skin are 2. Once you defeat Beelzebozo, you need to
    		smith the resulting item with your epic weapon to receive your
    		LEW.
    		
    		After obtaining your LEW, getting your main stat to 23 will 
    		unlock the next part of this quest.
    		
    		Within the Dark and Dank cave, you must pass through 3 Doors
    		to reach the main chamber. Each door is unlocked by inserting
    		an item into it. The items required vary by class.
    		
    		Door 1 - equipment dropped in level 1 aligned zone
    		Muscle - viking helmet from the Outskirts of the Knob
    		Mysticality - chef's hat (from the Haunted Pantry)
    		Moxie - dirty hobo gloves (from the Sleazy Back Alleyway)
    		
    		Door 2 - final tier of burrito cooking
    		Muscle -  insanely spicy bean burrito (Knob Goblin Treasury)
    		Mysticality -  insanely spicy enchanted bean burrito (Beanbats)
    		Moxie -  insanely spicy jumping bean burrito (jumping beans)
    		
    		Door 3 - Item crafted by the class's Level 5 skills*
    		Seal Clubbers - clown whip
    		Turtle Tamer  - clownskin buckler
    		Pastamancer   - boring spaghetti
    		Sauceror      - tomato juice of powerful power
    		Disco Bandit  - any fruity girl drink
    		Accordion Thief - Polka of Plenty
    		
    		Clearing the 3 doors unlocks the main chamber. Inside you must
    		fight various underlings for scraps of paper to learn the
    		password to your nemesis's inner sanctum. Connect the edges of
    		the scraps to learn the order of the password. Something must be
    		said first, however.
    		
    		STRAIGHT EDGES ARE NOT THE LEFT/RIGHT BOUNDARIES
    		
    		This really trips up many players the first time.
    		
    		Killing your nemesis will give you 2 things. First, it will give
    		you your class's epic hat. Secondly you now have a price on your
    		head and are going to be dealing with henchmen for a while.
    		
    		Henchmen will show up in increasing toughness. The final one 
    		will show up after reaching 90 main stat. Killing him will stop
    		the attacks, give you a familiar, a memento, and a map to your
    		nemesis's lair.
    		
    		Take the map to the navigator on the Poop Deck, and he'll take
    		you out to the secret volcano lair.
    		
    		From here, there are technically 6 quests, one per class. Each
    		quest follows the same general pattern and will also have a
    		special trophy to unlock.
    		
    		First a player must gain access to the inner lair. Usually this
    		is done by getting in disguise, or scaling the wall, or finding
    		keys.
    		
    		Secondly, a player will fight their way past a hoard of goons to
    		reach their nemesis. Upon defeat, the nemesis will retreat and 
    		descend into the lair further while dropping the class's epic 
    		pants.
    		
    		Finally after a player chases them across a lava field, they
    		fight for a 3rd time. Once this is accomlpished, the nemesis 
    		will make a pact with a demon and transform into their final 
    		form. In order to deal with this, a player's LEW will transform
    		into their class's Ultimate Legendary Weapon.
    		
    		(For help with the lava field please see RoyalTonberry's maps)
    		http://www.ben.bloomroad.com/kol/nemesis/volcano/index.html
    		
    		Upon defeat, the player will keep their ULEW, and recieve the 
    		last bit of their class's legendary outfit, their epic accessory
    		
    		Here's the more in-depth look.
    		
    		Seal Clubber: 
    		You must disguise yourself in a seal outfit. In order to do so, 
    		you must collect hellseal parts from mother hellseals. They will
    		show up the more you defeat the pups and they get really mad.
    		
    		Gorgolok, the Demonic Hellseal has 6 boneshields that must be
    		broken before you can deal damage to him. A shield will break
    		when it takes 100+ damage. Shields will not be regenerated.
    		
    		Trophy: Obtain and wear every bit of piece of seal gear that 
    			Phineas can make. You will need to know Torso Awaregness
    			in order to get them all.
    			
    		Turtle Tamer:
    		You must tame 6 beret-wearing tortoises. Just equip the 
    		fouet de tortue-dressage and use Apprivoisez la tortue 5 times 
    		in battle
    		
    		Stella, the Demonic Turtle Poacher has an extremely high soft
    		damage cap. In order to defeat her, you must deal damage from as
    		many separate sources as you can muster in a single round. Or in
    		simpler terms, learn shieldbutt, headbutt, and kneebutt and use 
    		their triple combo in combat.
    		
    		Trophy: After beating Stella, tame 30 guard tortoises and 
    			recieve their blessing.
    			
    		Pastamancer:
    		You must get a evil cultist robe to get in. To do so requires
    		acquiring 5 encoded cult documents from the middle-managers and 
    		using them to create a link to a new pastamancer summon. Getting
    		the summon to level 3 (use him in 9 combats) will allow him to
    		steal a robe
    		
    		Spaghetti Demon is a bit of a challenge. In order to defeat him,
    		you must continually rebind him with entangling noodles. Take a
    		shot at damaging him in the meanwhile.
    		
    		Trophy: After defeating the Demon, adventure in the temple ruins
    		to obtain a special skillbook. The skill will give you a bonus
    		3 adventures to the next noodle dish you eat, and the bonus will
    		stack with multiple day's castings. Starve yourself of pasta for
    		while casting this skill for at least 10 days. If you can get a
    		bonus of 30+ turns in a single eating, you will earn the trophy.
    		
    		Sauceror:
    		You must discover the potion that grants you slimeform.
    		
    		See the wiki for a better explanation of this:
    		http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Slime_Potions
    		
    		Lumpy, the Demonic Sauceblob requires you to buff yourself with 
    		all 4 of the Suaceror saucespheres. He'll peel one of them off 
    		each turn, so you must take him down with Saucemageddon quickly.
    				
    		Trophy: Learn all the possible recipes for slime potions
    		
    		Disco Bandit:
    		In order to gain access to the club, you need to dress yourself
    		up as a raver. In order to do so, you need to first teach
    		yourself some new dance skills. Each of the dancers in line
    		for the club will give a special message, after which you must
    		use Gothy Handwave to start learning their moves.
    		breakdancing raver: "spinning his legs wildly" 
    		pop-and-lock raver: "spastic and jerky" 
    		running man: "run away" 
    
    		After a while, you will learn their move. You must then discover 
    		the combo order which lets you steal items from enemies.
    		
    		Use the combo to steal various paraphenalia and eventually 
    		you'll have enough to get into the club.
    		
    		The Demon of New Wave will periodically increase his attack
    		strength by turning dials on his mixing board. To drop him back
    		down to normal you need to use the skill Funk Bluegrass Fusion.
    		
    		Trophy: Create the following combat macro:
    			skill Disco Eye-Poke
    			skill Disco Dance of Doom
    			skill Disco Dance II: Electric Boogaloo
    			skill Disco Dance of Doom
    			skill Disco Dance II: Electric Boogaloo
    			skill Disco Eye-Poke
    			skill Disco Dance II: Electric Boogaloo
    			skill Disco Dance of Doom 
    			skill Disco Face Stab 
    			skill Disco Dance of Doom 
    			skill Disco Eye-Poke 
    			skill Break It On Down
    			skill Pop and Lock It
    			skill Run Like the Wind
    			skill Break It On Down
    			skill Run Like the Wind
    			skill Pop and Lock It
    			skill Pop and Lock It
    			skill Break It On Down
    			skill Run Like the Wind
    			skill Pop and Lock It
    			skill Run Like the Wind
    			skill Break It On Down
    			skill Run Like the Wind
    			skill Break It On Down
    			skill Pop and Lock It
    			skill Run Like the Wind
    			skill Pop and Lock It
    			skill Break It On Down
    		Use this in battle after beating the Spirit of New Wave. If it
    		fully executes, you get the trophy. Best used against something
    		that has 100% physical resistance. 
    				
    		Accordion Thief:
    		You must get 5 hacienda keys. 4 keys will be hidden away in the
    		barracks. There are 6 rooms, and 3 options in each room:
    		
    		Left Hallway       
    		1. Kitchen     
    		2. Dining Room		
    		3. Storeroom
    		
    		Right Hallway
    		4. Bedroom
    		5. Library
    		6. Parlour
    		
    		Start by searching the Parlour and Library and working your way
    		in reverse numerical order.
    		
    		A room can have a key or a clue to a key but not both. Clues are
    		given to the 2 lowest rooms that have keys...you will not see a
    		clue pointing you to the Library or Parlour as a result.
    		
    		The fifth key must be pickpocketed from a sleeping or surprised
    		mariachi.
    		
    		Somerset Lopez, Demon Mariachi will periodically give you 
    		earworms. To get rid of these and deal damage to him, use Sing.
    		
    		Trophy: After defeating Lopez, the fireplace in the Barracks 
    		Parlour wll now lead down to a phonograph. In order to get the
    		trophy, you must record at least each of the following songs 
    		once in a single day:
    		The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
    		Benetton's Medley of Diversity		
    		Elron's Explosive Etude		
    		Chale of Companionship		
    		Prelude of Precision		
    		Donho's Bubbly Ballad
    		Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
    		
    		
    		Fernswathy Quest:
    		This quest is fairly simple, but is split into two legs.
    		Accepting this quest will unlock the Misspelled Cematary for 
    		adventure.
    		
    		In order to obtian the key, you must obtain a grave-robbing 
    		shovel (rusty or otherwise), and have it in your inventory until
    		you dig up his grave. You'll gain 500 meat, and with enough stat
    		will get the key later.
    		
    		If this portion is completed during level 4 or 5, you may be
    		able to step through a temporal rift, which will close once you
    		reach level 6. 
    		
    		Unlocking his tower will allow you to adventure in the ruins. 
    		You'll then need to adventure until you discover the book. Once
    		you return it, you'll get your manual. This can be used once
    		daily over 5 days. It will give stat gains of 20,40,100,40,20
    		before it becomes useless. (Though reading for 30 days in an
    		ascension qualifies for a trophy). In addition, this will
    		also unlock Fernswathy's Basement for adventuring.
    		
    		Meatcar Quest:
    		If unavailable, this will unlock the Degrassi Knoll. You must
    		adventure (or buy if a muscle sign) these items:
    		Cog, Spring, Sprocket    	Cog-Sprocket Assembly
    		Empty Meat Tank, Meat Stack	Full Meat Tank
    		Tires, Sweet Rims		Dope Wheels
    		
    		Paste the items together from left to right to obtain the result
    		Combined the tank and assembly to form an engine, and then the
    		wheels to recieve your meat car.
    
    		White Citadel Quest:		
    		This one is fairly simple, and just requires pure turn burning.
    		First adventure in Whitey's Grove until the Path to White
    		Citadel is unlocked. Adventure there until the Citadel is found.
    		
    		You will recieve a lucky rabbit's foot for completing the quest.
    		
    		Dwarven Factory quest:
    		After reaching 100 in your main stat, Olaf/Izzy/Blaine will give
    		you a quest to retrieve an item from Itznotyeritz Mine.
    		
    		Strap on your mining gear, head into the new branch, and spend
    		a turn searching the office to find your target and get your
    		reward. Easy, right?
    		
    		For what the Dwarven Factroy Complex can actually yield, please 
    		see this:
    		
    		http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Dwarvish_puzzle
    		
    	b. Basement
    		Not really going to cover this. It's basically a way to power 
    		level.
    		
    		Completing 500 levels of the basement will give you a telescope
    		certificate. This will let you see what monsters you will fight
    		during the tower and tell you what the first gate is. 
    		
    		Telescopes are pretty much a key to figuring out what you'll 
    		need well ahead of time.
    	c. Clan Dungeons
    		
    		Really too much detail to go into properly for this FAQ.
    		
    		Participate with clannies and get cool loot.
    	.
    	d. Required Quests
    		In addition to the regular Council quests, several quests are
    		required to complete the game. These primarilly open up areas.
    		
    		To begin with, the pieces needed for the level 11 quest.
    		
    		Hidden Temple Quest:
    		
    		In order to open the hidden temple, you must adventure in the
    		Spooky Forest until you obtain:
    		Spooky Temple Map
    		Spooky-Gro Fertilizer
    		Spooky sapling
    		
    		Using the Spooky Temple Map with all 3 will open the Hidden
    		Temple for adventuring.
    		
    		Unlocking Spookyraven Manor:
    		Spookyraven Manor is a large zone with 11 adventure zones. It 
    		begins hidden, as one must adventure in the Haunted Pantry until
    		the rest of the house is discovered. (It will occur after 
    		you spend 10 turns).
    		
    		Once inside, only 3 zones are available. To open the rest of the
    		house, one needs to start adventuring in the Billiards Room
    		until you obtain:
    		Handful of handchalk
    		Pool cue
    		
    		Equip the cue, and then use the chalk. Eventually (and if you
    		don't get the adventure, reuse the chalk) you get the adventure
    		Minnapolis Incorporealis. You will need to let the ghost break,
    		go for solids, and try for the 8-ball in order to recieve the 
    		library key.
    		
    		Inside the library, you can unlock the remaining 1st floor room,
    		the Haunted Gallery, by (when it appears) to read the Fall of
    		Spookyraven, and then choose to read the 5th chapter. This will
    		trigger a special adventure in the haunted gallery, and after no
    		more than 10 turns, the gallery key will drop.
    		
    		When prompted to read again (or if the book is the Rise instead)
    		click on the white book, 3rd from the left on the top row. This
    		will drop the metal stairs, and allow 2nd floor access.
    		
    		Upstairs, the next stop is the bedroom. When the option presents
    		itself, choose to "Look behind the nighstand" to receive Lord
    		Spookyraven's specatacles. Equipping these will allow you to 
    		find a special item when you "look under the nightstand".
    		
    		In order to unlock the ballroom, when one finds the ornate
    		dresser, you must first look at the top drawer (this will give
    		a boost of moxie substat), and then in the bottom drawer.
    		
    		If you obtain the special item, follow these rules:
    		
    		Muscles classes must present the standards to the knights in the
    		Haunted Gallery.
    		Mysticality classes must translate the book of A.F.U.E.. in the
    		library.
    		Moxie classes must take the sheet paper to the Haunted Ballroom
    		and approach the organ.
    		
    		The remaining zones in Spookyraven will be unlocked after you
    		begin the level 11 quest.
    		
    		Pirate's Quest
    		
    		After unlocking the Mysterious Island, you can adventure in the
    		Pirate's Cove. Adventure there until you obtain the
    		Swashbuckling Outfit, equip it, and you will go in disguise.
    		
    		Obtain the abridged dictionary, and Big Book of Pirate Insults.
    		
    		After this, adventure in the barrr, learning insults as you do
    		so. Recieve the treasure map, use it, and defeat a crab (flip
    		it over for MASSIVE DAMAGE), to receieve the booty. Return.
    		
    		Continue adventuring and insults (until you learn at least 6),
    		and get the Frat House Blueprints. Use them, and make a choice.
    		
    		1st option: Need Frat Boy outfit
    		2nd option: Equip a mullet wig and have a briefcase
    		3rd option: Wear a frilly skirt and have 3 hot wings
    		
    		All options when successful will give dentures. Return them.
    		
    		One more time in the barrr, and when you have enough insults,
    		choose to heckle. Most responses to Rickets' insults will make
    		sense, and in the grand tradition of Monkey Island, I won't
    		tell you the exact pairs :P
    		
    		After completing this, burn turns in the F'c'l'e, until you get:
    		mizzenmast mop
    		rigging shampoo
    		ball polish
    		
    		Use all 3, and one more adventure there will net you 5,000 meat,
    		and the pirate fledges.
    		
    		Giant Castle Quest:
    		
    		In order to unlock the Hole in the Sky, you need to complete a
    		quest in Castle. You will need to obtain the following items:
    		furry fur
    		awful poetry journal
    		giant needle
    		
    		You will also need to place the Procrastination Giant on guard
    		duty. Using the giant castle map, will result in a quantum egg.
    		Combine this with a S.O.C.K. to unlock the Hole in the Sky.
    		
    		Dungeons of Doom:
    		
    		In order to open the Dungeons of Doom, you need to first start
    		adventuring in the Giant Greater-Than Sign, and obtain a plus
    		sign. Continue until you get Teleportitis.
    		
    		When the Oracle adventure shows up, pay 1,000 meat, and read the
    		plus sign to unlock the Dungeons.
    		
    				
    	e. Miscellaneous Quests
    		Covered at a later date
    		
    		
    ==========================
    Contact &  Acknowledgments
    Thanks to Ceej & Bacon for this site
    Thanks to our <S>CNET</S> CBS overlords
    Thanks to the KoL Dev Team. Except for Skully, who doesn't even know the quest
    triggers.
    Istari is an asshole. Never listen to him.
    
    Drop me a line at gvalko@gfmods.com if you have a suggestion for this FAQ.
    If you have a question that can't be addressed by looking at the wiki, e-mail
    me. If it can be, and there's no adequate reason, expect mocking.
    
    Flames and spam to /dev/null please.