Walkthrough by GValko

Version: 0.7 | Updated: 02/24/12 | Printable Version

Kingdom of Loathing FAQ

by GValko

v0.1 - Started
v0.5  -Completed all but Misc/Req quests for now first live version
v0.6  -Completed required quests, FAQ is now a complete walkthrough.
v0.7  -Hey I updated all the new mainline quests & Nemesis quest.

Since the advent of NS13 (June 2007), many older unupdated sources no longer
accurately reflect the game. This guide is an attempt for a basic reference
of what is needed to complete the game, and basic descriptions for newer
players. If more in-depth knowledge is needed, please consult the The KoLWiki
at Coldfront. http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Main_Page

The Wiki is much-more in-depth and contains links to just about everything one

1. Mechanics
	a. Stats
	b. Monster Level
	c. Elements
	d. Damage Mitigation
 2. Classes
 	a. Muscle Classes
		i.  Seal Clubber
		ii. Turtle Tamer
	b. Mysticality Classes
		i.  Sauceror
		ii. Pastamancer
	c. Moxie Classes
		i.  Disco Bandit
		ii. Accordion Thief
 3. Quests
 	a1. Level 1 quest 
	a2. Level 1 quest (alternate)
	b.  Level 2 quest  - 
	c.  Level 3 quest
	d.  Level 4 quest
	e.  Level 5 quest
	f.  Level 6 quest
	g.  Level 7 quest
	h.  Level 8 quest
	i.  Level 9 quest
	j.  Level 10 quest
	k.  Level 11 quest
	l.  Level 12 quest
	m.  Level 13 quest
 4. Side-Quests
 	a. Guild Quests
	b. Basement
	c. Hobopolis
	d. Required Quests
	e. Misc. Quests
1. Mechanics
	a. Stats
	There are 3 stats in Kingdom of Loathing, Muscle, Mysticality, and 
	Muscle - The typical strength/dexterity stat. It determines:
		 1. HP
		 2. Which melee weapons you can equip. (Non-chef staves)
		 3. Which shields you can equip.
		 3. Hit rate of melee weapons
		 4. Damage reduction with a shield (only with Hero of the Half
		 5. Physical damage calculation
	Mysticality - The typical magic/wisdom stat. It determines:
		 1. MP
		 2. Which chef-staves you may equip.
		 3. Which accessories you may equip.
		 4. Bonus spell damage
	Moxie - The typical agility stat. It determines:
		1. Dodge rate
		2. Which ranged weapons you may equip
		3. What armor (hats/pants/shirts) you may equip
		4. Damage reduction with a shield
	Typically, in terms of all the stats, Moxie is the most important,
	Muscle and Mysticality are split, as it really depends on how damage
	is calculated.
	All stats have 2 statuses. Base and buffed. Base is the actual stat, 
	while buffed refers to the number in parenthesis next to it. Base stats
	are used to determine what equipment is equippable, while buffed stats
	are used to determine combat. As for which locations are accesible, it
	is a mix.

	b. Monster Level
	Monster level is an important concept to understand. It is essentially
	the combined muscle/moxie of a monster. In order to hit a monster, you
	must be within 20 points of the ML, or else you will miss without a 
	critical hit. In the case that you exceed the ML, the extra muscle will
	be converted to bonus damage. This is only true of physical damage, as
	spells will automatically hit an opponent.
	The converse is true, monster must be within 20 points of your moxie, in
	order to hit you. Any extra points that monsters have on you will also
	be converted into extra damage against you.
	In both cases, a critical hit will automatically bypass the checks, and
	is an automatic hit. 
	Monster Level also determines the amount of stat given to you after a 
	sucessful battle. The total substat gain is approximately ML/4.
	c. Elements
	There are 5 base elements in KoL. There are several other types, however
	they are only special cases. (shadow, bad spelling). Each element will
	deal double damage to 2 others, and take double damage from 2 others.
	Any damage from the same source to an elemental monster will reduce all
	damage done to 1.
	In addition to this, some monsters are physically resistant. Any normal
	damage will be reduced to 1, however spell and elemental damage is 
	applied normally. These enemies are rare, and will appear about 4 times
	in normal play.  However, 3 must be killed in order to beat the game.

	Normally, attacks will separate elements and attack as a split sum. In
	order to become totally aligned with a specific element, one must use a
	phial potion of that specific element. This will also bypass the
	physical resistance of an enemey.
	Deals double to: Cold, Spooky
	Takes double from: Stench, Sleaze
	Typical locations:
	The only real location where heat shows up is the level 6 quest, and the
	resulting Friar's Gate.
	Deals double to: Sleaze, Stench
	Takes double from: Hot, Spooky
	Typical locations: 
	The only real enemies that deal cold damage are the locations  on 
	Mt. McLargeHuge, which will open as part of the level 8 quest.
	Deals double to: Hot, Spooky
	Takes double from: Cold, Sleaze
	Typical locations: 
	Stench is fairly rare, however between hippies and non-Hobopolis hobos,
	it shows up in spades. In addition filthworms, will deal stench damage.
	Deals double to: Cold, Sleaze
	Takes double from: Hot, Stench
	Typical locations: 
	The most common element in the game. Any enemies in the Cemetary, Cyrpt,
	Spookyraven Manor, and the Buried Pyramid are almost guaranteed to deal
	spooky damage.
	Deals double to: Stench, Hot
	Takes double from: Cold, Spooky
	Typical locations: 
	Probably the rarest element in the game. There are only 2 sources in the
	game. The first is frat boys, and the enemies in the Hole in the Sky. 
	c. Damage Mitigation
	Typically there are 4 ways to deal with reducing the damage a character
	will take when hit.
	Moxie buffing  -   Obviously, if a monster can't hit you, he won't deal
	Damage Reduction - This is a straight removal of damage. Receieved from
			   shields, though some other sources exist.
	Damage Absorption - This removes a % of all net damage (up to 90%) from
			   a successful enemy attack. The total absorption is
			   determined from the total power of your armor, as 
			   well as any bonus effects or enchantments.
	Elemental Resistance - Finally, a % of all elemental damage is reduced,
			   that depends on the overall level of your resistance
			   to that elemental source. The curve goes from a level
			   of 1 (10%) to 47. (90%). In addition, resistance may
			   be needed to pass certain tests in order to progress.
 2. Classes
 	There are 6 classes in Kingdom of Loathing. Each of the 3 stats has 2
	classes associated with them. For all of the classes, this stat will
	determine the stat gains. All gains are weighted such that the main
	stat will gain approx. 2:1:1 substat in comparison to the other stats.
	For example, if a monster gives 20 substat total is defeated by a 
	muscle class, they would gain 10 muscle substat, 5 mysticality substat,
	and 5 moxie substat.
	With the exceptions of Accordion Thieves, all classes have some crafting
	skill and an associated element. Muscle and Myst classes also get a
	bonus +50% to HP and MP respectively.
 	a. Muscle Classes
	Muscle classes are based out of the Brotherhood of the Smackdown. 
	Players who have learned Pulverize may use the Malus of Forethought, 
	which allows the pounding of powders into nuggets, and nuggets into wads
	(5 powders/nuggets yield 1 nugget/wad). Wads are important, as they are
	the most common spleen consumption item. Muscle classes are also needed
	to craft advanced equipment, though most dropped equipment is superior.
		i.  Seal Clubber
			Features: Bonus melee damage and Pulverize.
			Crafting: Weapons (allows use of ore), 
			Element: Cold
		ii. Turtle Tamer
			Features: Bonus familiar weight, and damage absorption.
			Crafting: Armor (allows use of skins)
			Element: Spooky
	b. Mysticality Classes
	Mysticality classes are based out of The League of the Chef-Magi. 
	Players who have learned Transcendental Noodlecraft are allowed to use
	the Wok of the Ages, which allows for meins, dumplings, and lasagnas to
	be created. These are the best makeable dishes, and give everything but
	rarer dishes the largest adventure and substat gain. Both mysticality 
	classes are needed in order to make any good food, which can easilly cut
	the time needed to complete an ascension in half. 
	In addition, Saucerors may yield 3 potions per 1 reagent, and have an 
	inherent bonus 5 turns to the potions effects.
		i.  Sauceror
			Features: Spell Damage, Potions 
			Crafting: Potions and Sauces (allows use of reagents)
			Element: Stench
		ii. Pastamancer
			Features: Combat familiars, Chef-Staves
			Crafting: Food (allows use of noodles)
			Element: Hot
	c. Moxie Classes
	Moxie classes are based out of The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts
	. Players who have learned Superhuman Cocktailcrafting have access to 
	Nash Crosby's Still, which allows drinks and fruits to be distilled into
	more potent forms. In addition, both classes are allowed to pick-pocket
	items enemies are carrying if they get the jump on them. In addition,
	Accordion Thieves are able to sneak into the stores of the other guilds,
	and may purchase things. This is especially important, as the best MP
	restorer (Magical Mystery Juice) may only be bought from the Chef-Magi
	The most common attack strategy of moxie classes is called "plinking", 
	where one delevels an opponent into attack range, and takes advantage of
	the high hit % and dodge % to kill enemies.
		i.  Disco Bandit
			Features: Deleveling, Plinking
			Crafting: Cocktails (allows use of mixers)
			Element: Sleaze
		ii. Accordion Thief
			Features: Buffs, Buffs, Buffs. (Maximum of 3/4 active)
			Crafting: None
			Element: None
 3. Quests
 	a1. Level 1 quest 
		Locations: Mt. Noob
		Objectives: Complete Training with the Toot Oriole
		Rewards: Certificate of Participation 
		This is the tutorial. Complete the tutorial.
		This is only for the first ascension, all other times see the
		alternate version of this quest.
	a2. Level 1 quest (alternate) 
		Locations: Mt. Noob
		Objectives: Visit the Toot Oriole 
		Rewards: letter from King Ralph XI
		All you have to do is visit him twice, once after opening the
	b.  Level 2 quest 
		Locations: Spooky  Forest
		Objectives: mosquito larva
		Rewards: mosquito larva (first time), 500 meat
		This quest unlocks the woods. It's fairly simple, and all you
		really need to do is fetch and return. You should also buy a 
		terrarium if you've never done so before.
		In order to get the mosquito larva, when you find yourself in 
		"Arboreal Respite" choose to explore the stream and march to the
	c.  Level 3 quest 
		Locations: The Typical Tavern
		Objectives: Stop the rat menace
		Rewards: 3 Typical Tavern swill, shiny ring
		Won't open without level 2 quest complete.
		This is a fairly simple quest. You'll probably want something
		to map it out, as the 24 squares are semi-random.
					A x x x S
					A x x x x
					A x x x x
					B B x x x
					B B C C C
		S is the stairs leading back to the Tavern itself.
		A,B,C all mark possible special encounter regions.
		Each region can contain one of 3 possible encounters, and may
		only contain one of each of the following:
		The first encounter will give you a shiny ring and a potion that
		buffs your main stat. (You can buy these from the Market).
		The second encounter will be the rat faucet. Turning off the
		faucet will end the quest, though you may come down here later
		and use it to fight more rats.
		The third encounter will be the boss Baron Von Ratsworth. He is
		optional, but may be fought for special items.
		Now note that A doesn't have to be the first special encounter,
		nor does B have to be the second, or C the third. 
		The fastest way to complete this quest however is to find a ring 
		in the A or C regions and then search B for the faucet.
		Encounter wise, you will find rats, mobs of drunken rats, or 
		drunken rat-kings. They appear proportionally to bonus monster 
		level. Drunken ratkings drop a tangle of rat tails which is an
		item of some use.
	d.  Level 4 quest 
		Locations: Bat Hole
		Objectives: Kill Boss Bat
		Rewards: batskin belt, 1 dense meat stack
		The first thing you need is to obtain stench resistance. If you
		don't have a buff or other resistance, you can get get a Pine-
		Fresh air freshener from the pine bats in the Entryway. 
		(Another popular source is the Knob Goblin Harem Veil which may
		be obtained to complete the Level 5 quest)
		Once you get stench resistance, you can adventure in the Guano
		In order to open the blocked chambers, you will have to get a 
		sonar-in-the-biscuit or fight a screambat. Screambats will show
		up every 8 turns spent in the junction (or 2 chambers off to the
		(It would be suggestible to get an enchanted bean from the
		Beanbat chamber now, but not required)
		You must defeat several Beefy Bodyguard Bats before you have a 
		shot at fighting the Boss Bat. It really won't take more than 
		1 or 2 adventures afterwards to kill him.
		Boss Bat may drop several items depending MCD settings.
	e.  Level 5 quest 
		Locations: The Cobb's Knob
		Objectives: Kill the Knob Goblin King
		Rewards: Crown of the Goblin King*, 2 dense meat stacks
		In order to gain full access to the Knob, you need to obtain the
		decryption key from the Outskirts of the Knob. You will find the
		key after spending 10 turns on the outskirts...this is scheduled
		to occur.
		Once inside, there are two approached to gaining access to the 
		Harem - Obtain a Harem Girl outfit. While the drop rate is kind
		of low, you will obtain an outfit automatically in 11 turns.
		You then need to use some Knob Goblin perfume which is dropped
		by the madams. Alternatively, attempting to revisit the Harem in
		full outfit will give you the effect.
		Guard - Obtain a Knob Goblin Elite Guard outfit by picking up
		the pieces in the Barracks. Once in full uniform, harass the 
		cooks in the kitchens for some cake ingredients. Bake the cake
		(This will require a Dramatic Range) and frost it.
		Regardless of the route, you will fight the King there after. He
		has no special abilities, so you should be able to take him down
		with no real problem.
		*-The reward may vary due to MCD settings, but ignore this on
		the first run.
	f.  Level 6 quest 
		Locations: The Friar's Gate
		Objectives: Banish the demons
		Rewards: Special Buffs, Friar's Gate opens
		This quest is fairly simple. you need to adventure in the Heart,
		Elbow, and Neck of the woods, and obtain:
		eldritch butterknife
		bof of birthday candles
		To speed up acquisition, you should try to lower the combat 
		After obtaining all 3, visit the ritual location to finish it.
	g.  Level 7 quest 
		Location: The Cyrpt
		Objectives: Undefile the Crypt
		Rewards: Chest of the Bonerdagon, dragonskull beltbuckle
		This is a fairly simple quest. There are 4 subbosses that must
		be defeated before you fight the Bonerdagon. Each of these 4
		also has a weakness to a certain item that can be found by 
		making the right choice. This is a small chart of what you can
		Alcove - Zmobies
		-Look in the wet one
		Niche - Lihcs
		-Second urn
		Nook - Skeelton
		-Third one
		Cranny - Ghouls
		-Dig through rubble on the ground*
		How the quest works is that you start off with Evilosity of 200,
		evenly split among the subsections of the Cyrpt.
		Fighting a monster in a zone will normally take one beep off the
		evil rating. Getting a zone to 25 or below will cause the 
		subboss to emerge. Defeating it will clear the zone of evil 
		There are ways to clear off more than 1 blip at a time:
		Alcove - Modern zmobies will take off 5 beeps. They will occur
			 more frequently the higher your combat iniative is.
		Niche -  Dirty old lihcs will take off 3 beeps.
		Nook  -  Skeeltons here drop evil eyes. These drop the evil by 3
			 per eye destroyed so you should boost your item drops.
		Cranny - During the choice adventure, investigating the rattling
			 drawer will cause you to fight a large group of ghuols.
			 The size varies by bonus monster level you're running,
			 and the larger the group, the more beeps it takes off.
			 (Also lowering combat rates will work well)
		Clearing all the evil from the Cyrpt will cause it to spike up 
		as the Haert of the Cyrpt is revealed.
		The Bonerdagon is a tough fight. He can block items and skills,
		and generally is overpowered. 
		If you don't know, combining the beltbuckle and the batskin belt
		will give a badass belt, an accessory that gives +5 to all stat.
	h.  Level 8 quest 
		Location: Mt. McLargeHuge
		Objectives: Help the Trapz0r.
		Rewards: 5,000 meat, 5 yeti skins, Icy Peak
		The first thing you'll need to do is obtain 3 pieces of ore.
		You'll need to get a Mining Outfit in order to mine, and once
		you get it, you can mine and collect the ore (typically found in
		the last 2 rows, so dig back at first).
		After giving the Trapz0r the ore, keep your mining outfit on one
		more time, and dig out the avlanche blocking the Goatlet.
		In the Goatlet, we need to get 6 goat cheese. Only the dairy 
		goat will drop these. It'll take some time, but isn't too bad.
		After this we'll need to obtain some cold resistance. If you're
		not naturally cold resistance or have a buff, you'll need to get
		the effect from 2 possible sources. 
		If you have a hot katana blade and hot running pants from 
		Demonninja, you can adventure in the Ninja Snowmen Lair, and get
		an icy hilt and a cold ninja mask, and after combining hilt
		and blade, you'll have the Hot and Cold Running Ninja Suit.
		If not, collect the pieces of gear from the eXtreme Slope, to
		get the eXtreme Cold-Weather Gear
		After getting cold resistance, one more trip to the Trapz0r will
		open the Peak, and complete the quest.
	i.  Level 9 quest 
		Location: Valley Beyond the Orc Chasm
		Objectives: Rescue the Baron
		Rewards: fascimile dictionary (21,337 meat) and a drywall axe.
		First, in order to get here, you need to untinker the abridged
		dictionary. You can buy this from Barrrney's Bookstorrre while
		traveling in the Pirate's Cove disguised (or with fledges) for
		1,000 meat. This will unlock the valley. All monsters here are
		weak to use of the dictionary, and will normally kill them in 
		only a few hits, if you're having trouble dealing damage.
		In order to complete this quest, you need to obtain these items:
		2 334 scrolls
		1 30669 scroll
		1 33398 scroll
		After this, continue adventuring.
		When the rampant adding machine shows up, use 2 334 scrolls, to
		create a 668 scroll. Use a 30669 scroll and a 33398 scroll to
		make a 64067 scroll. Finally use the 668 scroll and the 64067 
		scroll to create a 65735 ("GATES") scroll, and use it to end the
		668 scrolls and 30669 scrolls may be created to make 31337
		scrolls, however they are not required and are only a bonus.
	j.  Level 10 quest 
		Locations: Sky
		Objectives: Stop the garbage
		Rewards: Piece of Glad Bag Rags outfit
		The sky is really falling. Time to stop it.
		If you never obtained one, get an enchanted bean from the
		Beanbat chamber. Use it from inventory to create a beanstalk in
		the Nearby Plains.
		Atop the beanstalk, you need to adventure in the Penultimate 
		Fantasy Airship until you collect all 4 pieces of Immateria, and
		collect the S.O.C.K. . This will open the Giant Castle in the 
		In the Castle, you simply need to adventure until you hid the
		adventure where you can turn the wheel. Turn in any direction, 
		and visit the council. The quest will clear as long as the 
		Procrastination Giant is not on garbage duty.
	k.  Level 11 quest 
		Locations: Too many
		Objectives: Obtain the Holy MacGffin
		Rewards: handful of confetti
		This is really 6 or so subquests tied altogether. It's long
		and very involved. I'll break this up into it's usual order.
		Getting Your Father's Diary:
		You'll need to adventure in the Black Forest until you get
		sunken eyes, broken wings, and a black market map. Combine the
		former two, collect your familiar, take it out, and use the map.
		Documents cost 10,000 meat. You'll also want to pick up at least
		one can of black paint (1,000 meat).
		Take a trip at the Shore, and you'll get the diary. Read it all.
		Obtaining the Staff:
		Hidden City:
		In order to gain access to the Hidden City, you must have 
		unlocked the Hidden Temple (see Required Quests), and make the
		following choices: Raise your hands, spell BANANAS, and do
		You'll unlock the Hidden City, which is very close to the Tavern
		There are 25 squares, and here's the breakdown:
		14 ruins
		5 ancient guardian spirits
		4 altars
		1 dead archeologist
		1 temple

		The ancient guardian spirits will drop 4 spheres and a dagger.
		All of them are physically resistant, or can be killed by using
		a scroll of ancient forbidden unspeakable evil in one hit. Each
		of the 4 spheres will correspond to an element when used in 
		battle, and stick them in the appropriate altars. (For those
		unaware, the 4 gods are all Pokemon: Pikachu, Bulbasaur, 
		Charlizard, and Squirtle. Place the spheres in the correct spots
		and you'll be able to open the temple.
		In the temple, there's one more guardian spirit, but he can be
		taken down by a scroll of A.F.U.E. just as easilly as the others
		Spookyraven Manor:
		In order to complete this queswt, you'll need to have opened and
		unlocked Spookyraven Manor to the fullest extent. (Req. Quests)
		To start with, make sure you have at least Lord Spookyraven's
		spectacles. If not, obtain them from the Bedroom.
		Adventure in the Ballroom, until you get "They'll All Be Flat".
		This unlocks the Wine Cellar, so now adventure there until you
		get two or three of the dusty bottles. Wearing the spectacles
		will allow you to identify the glyphs (open the item description
		), and collect the 3 types needed to open the summoning chamber.
		Pour the wine down in this order: top, left, right.
		Lord Spookyraven can be fairly challenging, however, aside from
		a massive elemental damage for his first attack, he'll weaken.
		Use some base elemental resistance to survive. (Can of black 
		paint works well, but you'll need another)
		You'll need to obtain your Prate Fledges to start this quest.
		(Required Quests, again)
		Adventure in the Poop Deck until you get "It's Always Swordfish"
		and then start going Belowdecks. You'll need to get 2 snakehead
		charrrms from Gaudy Pirates. Paste them together will make the
		Talisman O'Nam. Equipping it opens the Palindome in the Plains.
		Adventure there until you get the following items, and stunt
		nuts. When the appropriate choice adventure comes up, place the
		items as such:
		Shelf #1: photograph of God
		Shelf #2: hard rock candy
    		Shelf #3: ketchup hound
    		Shelf #4: hard-boiled ostrich egg 
		Read the result, and head for the Knob Labratory. Meet Mr Alarm.
		Adventure in Whitey's Grove until you get bird rib and lion oil.
		Bake those two, then the nuts to make wet stunt nut stew. Give
		it to Mr. Alarm. Equip the Mega Gem, and go back to the 
		Any choice and you'll fight Dr. Awkward. It isn't too hard.
		After obtaining the 3 items (staff, headpiece, amulet) combine
		them to get the Staff of Ed.
		Unlocking the Pyramid:
		Adventure in the Desert until you get the option to buy a
		carburetor or haggle. Haggle, and the Oasis will open.
		One turn in the Oasis will allow 5 in the Desert without bad
		Keep adventuring in the desert, visiting Oasis as needed, until
		you need to get the Stone Rose from the Oasis. Get it and a drum
		machine as well.
		Continue to adventure in the Desert, give him the Stone Rose,
		and then the black paint, and finally the drum machine.
		After this, you need to pick up the manual pages from the Oasis,
		get all 15 pages (It's really only 1,2, then 3-15 in adventures)
		. Get the worm-riding hooks. Equip them, use a drum machine, and
		with Staff of Ed, open pyramid proper.
		Ed The Undying:
		Alright, this will work out fairly quickly. You'll need to get:
		an ancient token -> an ancient bomb -> rubble to fight Ed.
		You'll need to spin the lower chamber 3 times, then 4, then 3.
		To spin, you either need a tomb ratchet, or a carved wooden
		wheel. Both are found in the Upper Chambers, though ratchets 
		only drop after getting the wheel. The wheel must be placed in 
		the Middle Chambers.
		Ed requires 7 turns to kill, so be careful. After this, enjoy
		your parade.
	l.  Level 12 quest 
		Locations: Mysterious Island
		Objectives: Nuke the Hippies and/or Orcs.
		Rewards: War Medal  (varies on #'s of sub-quest completed)
		In order to trigger this quest, you must have at least visited
		the Palindome once.

		Alright to begin with, you need to choose a side. Hippy or Frat.
		Make sure you have that outfit, and start visiting the right
		area until you collect the war version of your outfit. Once this
		is done, equip it, visit it, and start the war. 
		In the Fratacombs head to the roof to start it as a Hippie.
		In Blokckin out the Scenery, head to the Lookout Tower, to start
		it as a Frat.
		Alright, there are now 1000 enemies you must kill in order to
		breach the opposing side and kill their boss. There are 6 sub-
		quests available, and the amount of completion determines the
		amount killed in an encounter by this:
		Enemies Killed = 2^N 
		where N is # of quests completed for a side.
		3 are available right off the bat for each side, but to get the
		other side's 3, you need to do fighting. 
		Most items you get during fights can be traded in your camp's
		shop for gear and other items.
		Once you've defeated the opposing side's boss, you'll obtain an
		item sellable for 5,000 meat, and a war medal from the council.
		The medal varies depending on quests done and side.
		To obtain the Order of the Silver Wossname, the secret medal,
		you must kill 999 opponents as each side, and then use a
		flarrregun in the resulting conflict. (The easiest way is to
		fight a single battle while doing no quests, then another with
		one quest down, another with two done, and then 124 with all 3
		Junkyard - You have to obtain 4 tools from gremlins. Each type 
		of gremlin will only carry one type of tool, though AMCs carry
		For more info, see:
		As the mechanics are a bit complex.
		Rewards: Random piece of equipment
		Mysterious Island Arena:
		This is actually fairly simple. You need to slap flyers on 
		enough enemies, so the total ML exceeds 10000. Some suggest
		using the Guy Made of Bees, but if you start the Level 11 quest
		late, this will cost almost 0 extra turns
		Reward: Ability to choose 1 of 3 buffs
		Sonofa Beach:
		This one is an absolute pain without something to increase 
		combat. The combat rate is low, and you must kill 5 
		lobsterfrogmen in order to get the barrels needed.
		Reward: Allows you to purchase bonus explosives from your camp
		Organic Orchard:
		You need to obtain a gland from one area, use it, progress, and
		repeat until you obtain the Heart of the Queen.
		Reward: Unlocks the Hippy Stand again, gives ~4,000 meat daily,
			unlocks 3 more items depending on side.
		MacGillicudddy's Farm:
		You need to kill ducks. This goes fairly quickly if you do the
		Fight ducks in the barn, using a chaos butterfly against one,
		and choose to unlock Cold, Hot, and Sleaze. This will trigger
		a tornado and halve the remaining ducks. 
		If not, refer to this:
		Corner 1:
		Pitchfork	- Granary	- Fat (More meat)
		Cowbell		- Bog		- Stench
		Fence  		- Pond		- Cold
		Corner 2:
		Lantern 	- Back 40	- Hot 
		Corner 3:	- Plot		- Spooky
		Shotgun		- Shady Thicket	- Booze
		Drum		- Other Back 40	- Sleaze

		Rewards: You'll get 3 items daily, and after the war, more daily
		duck fights.
		ThemThar Hills:
		You need to obtain 100,000 total meat from killing bandits.
		Boost your meat drops, and it'll go somewhat quickly.
		There is a bit of a glitch with this quest. You may get credit
		for completing it as a Frat Boy without actually reaching the
		Nuns by retrieving the last of the meat by defeating a copied
		bandit in the Frat gear. (Copying is a mechanic you will only 
		see if you have access to Spooky Putty, can of Rain-Doh, or 
		other Mr. Store items)
		Rewards: 1000 HP restored 3 times daily, and 1000 MP as well if
			 done as a Frat Boy.
	m.  Level 13 quest 
		Locations: Lair of the Naughty Sorceress
		Objectives: Defeat her Naughtiness
		Rewards: Winning the game.
		This is a severely multi-faceted quest that requires some prep
		and back-farming if you're not ready.
		Don't even think of starting this until you have one of each of
		The 6 keys:  Boris's Key, Sneaky Pete's Key, Jarlsberg's Key
			     digital key (30 white pixel), Richard's Star Key
			     (8 lines, 7 stars), and a skeleton key
		Entry Potions:
			Bang potions: You'll need one of each bang potion to
			succeed. These are found in the boxes of the Dungeons of 
			Doom. They are randomized every ascension, and should be
			used in combat to figure out effects.
			South of the Border: All chewing gum, handsomeness 
			potion, Melagra pills, and marzipan skulls
		Wand of Nagamar (ruby w, metallic a, lowercase n, heavy d)
			Tambourine or bone rattle
			Some accordion
			acoustic guitarrr, heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr, any
			of the Disco Bandit legendary weapons, massive sitar, or
			Zim Merman's guitar
		Familiars: Mosquito, Angry Goat, Barrrnacle, Levitating Potato,
			   Sabre-Toothed Lime, and a Star Starfish
		Star Hat, and one of the following Star items: Staff, Sword, or
		Alright, lets get this started:
		To pass the first obstacles, you need 3 effects, refer to the
		Three Gates:
		Gate One: 	 	Obtained from:
		Gate of Hilarity 	gremlin juice
		Gate of Humility 	wussiness potion
		Gate of Morose Morbidity and Moping 	thin black candle
		Gate of Slack 		Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub
		Gate of Spirit 	 	pygmy pygment
		Gate of the Porcupine 	super-spikey hair gel
		Gates of The Suc Rose 	Any candy
		Gate of The Viper	adder bladder
		Locked Gate 	 	Black No. 2

		Gate Two: 	
		Gate of Flame 		jabañero-flavored chewing gum
		Gate of Intrigue 	handsomeness potion
		Gate of Machismo 	Meleegra™ pills
		Gate of Mystery 	pickle-flavored chewing gum
		Gate of the Dead 	marzipan skull
		Gate of Torment 	tamarind-flavored chewing gum
		Gate of Zest 		lime-and-chile-flavored chewing gum

		Gate Three: 		Effect Needed: 	
		Gate of Light 			Izchak's Blessing 	
		Gate Of That Which is Hidden 	Object Detection 	
		Gate of the Mind 		Strange Mental Acuity 
		Gate of the Ogre	 	Strength of Ten Ettins
		Gate that is Not a Gate 	Teleportitis	
		These 5 are obtained from bang potions.

		Giant Mirror: equip your birthday suit
		Boris: fish
		Jarslberg: phish
		Sneaky Pete: fsh
		skeleton key: keep trying, or use a ten-leaf clover to win
		star key: equip star hat & weapon, and use the star starfish
		digital key: Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A
		Combine the fish stuff into a hosed tank, equip it, and visit
		the Strange Odor to press a switch.
		Visit the mariachis and if you have the right instruments,
		you're in the clear.
		Hedge Maze:
		This seciton isn't too hard. Kill golems, get puzzles. First
		rotate the puzzles to obtain the hedge key, and then to the
		You need to adventure in the hedgemaze after both cases to get
		the key and to unlock the door to the Tower.
		This can get annoying. Pick up a can of hair spray from the
		Market Demon, and make a NG if you can. Time to brave the tower.
		Each level of the tower has a guardian (randomly chosen), which
		is weak to one combat item. 
		Levels 1-5:
		Beer Batter		baseball
		best-selling novelist	plot hole
		Big Meat Golem		meat vortex
		Bowling Cricket		sonar-in-a-biscuit
		Bronze Chef		leftovers of indeterminate origin
		concert pianist		Knob Goblin firecracker
		the darkness		inkwell
		El Diablo		mariachi G-string
		Electron Submarine	photoprotoneutron torpedo
		endangered inflatable white tiger	pygmy blowgun
		fancy bath slug		fancy bath salts
		Fickle Finger of F8	razor-sharp can lid
		Flaming Samurai		frigid ninja stars
		giant fried egg		black pepper
		Giant Desktop Globe	NG
		Ice Cube		can of hair spray
		malevolent crop circle	bronzed locust
		possessed pipe-organ	powdered organs
		Pretty Fly		spider web
		Tyrannosaurus Tex	chaos butterfly
		Vicious Easel		disease
		Level 6:
		collapsed mineshaft golem	stick of dynamite  (Muscle)
		Enraged Cow			barbed-wire fence  (Moxie)
		giant bee			tropical orchid    (Mysticality)
		these last 3 only show up as results of shore trips. However,
		if you lay fallow from the shore for 25 turns, you're 
		guaranteed to gain the item from that zone.
		Heavy & Light Doors: 
		see: http://jick-nerfed.us/cgi-bin/door.cgi
		Electrical Attack:
		Equip mirror shard
		Classic heal to kill boss. If you can funksling, you can get
		away with garters/poultice. Everyone else needs 4 red pixel
		She'll send 2 familiars after you next. Each will require a
		20 lb familiar of the right type to beat the other one.
		To beat the:		Use a 20 lb:
		Angry Goat		Mosquito
		Barrrnacle		Angry Goat
		Levitating Potato	Barrrnacle
		Mosquito		Sabre-Toothed Lime
		Sabre-Toothed Lime	Levitating Potato
		After this, all you'll need to do is kill her Naughtiness.
		Be warned, she can block like the Bonerdagon, and will remove
		all status effects.
		You Came all this way, so good luck :)
4. Side-Quests
 	a. Guild Quests
		There are 3 sets of Guild Quests, two given by an alternating
		member of your guild. The guild member of your class will give
		you a quest to defeat your nemesis, while the other member will 
		give you a class to dig up information on Fernswathy. 
		Olaf/Blaine/Izzy will also give you quests, though they while
		optional, let you get to Whitey's Grove earlier.
		Nemesis Quest:
		In order to complete your Legendary Weapon, you will need to 
		obtain a big rock and a class item from the hermit. The big rock
		is found as the special clover adventure in the Lemon Party 
		Slots in the casino. These two ingredients will need to be 
		meatsmithed together, and then with your basic class weapon.
		Seal Clubbers - seal tooth
		Turtle Tamer  - chisel
		Pastamancer   - petrified noodles
		Sauceror      - jabañero pepper
		Disco Bandit  - banjo strings
		Accordion Thief - hot-buttered roll
		This will unlock the Fun House and Barrel Full of Barrels for
		In order for you to obtain your Legendary Epic Weapon, you need
		to obtain a special piece of equipment from Beelzebozo from the
		Fun House. In order to fight him, a total of 4 "clownosity" must
		be worn. Each point must be distinct, no duplicates are allowed.
		All equipment drops except for the acid-squirting flower, clown
		hammer, and polka-dot bow tie are considered 1 clownosity. The
		bow tie is considered 2, and the others are 0. Any items smithed
		with clown skin are 2. Once you defeat Beelzebozo, you need to
		smith the resulting item with your epic weapon to receive your
		After obtaining your LEW, getting your main stat to 23 will 
		unlock the next part of this quest.
		Within the Dark and Dank cave, you must pass through 3 Doors
		to reach the main chamber. Each door is unlocked by inserting
		an item into it. The items required vary by class.
		Door 1 - equipment dropped in level 1 aligned zone
		Muscle - viking helmet from the Outskirts of the Knob
		Mysticality - chef's hat (from the Haunted Pantry)
		Moxie - dirty hobo gloves (from the Sleazy Back Alleyway)
		Door 2 - final tier of burrito cooking
		Muscle -  insanely spicy bean burrito (Knob Goblin Treasury)
		Mysticality -  insanely spicy enchanted bean burrito (Beanbats)
		Moxie -  insanely spicy jumping bean burrito (jumping beans)
		Door 3 - Item crafted by the class's Level 5 skills*
		Seal Clubbers - clown whip
		Turtle Tamer  - clownskin buckler
		Pastamancer   - boring spaghetti
		Sauceror      - tomato juice of powerful power
		Disco Bandit  - any fruity girl drink
		Accordion Thief - Polka of Plenty
		Clearing the 3 doors unlocks the main chamber. Inside you must
		fight various underlings for scraps of paper to learn the
		password to your nemesis's inner sanctum. Connect the edges of
		the scraps to learn the order of the password. Something must be
		said first, however.
		This really trips up many players the first time.
		Killing your nemesis will give you 2 things. First, it will give
		you your class's epic hat. Secondly you now have a price on your
		head and are going to be dealing with henchmen for a while.
		Henchmen will show up in increasing toughness. The final one 
		will show up after reaching 90 main stat. Killing him will stop
		the attacks, give you a familiar, a memento, and a map to your
		nemesis's lair.
		Take the map to the navigator on the Poop Deck, and he'll take
		you out to the secret volcano lair.
		From here, there are technically 6 quests, one per class. Each
		quest follows the same general pattern and will also have a
		special trophy to unlock.
		First a player must gain access to the inner lair. Usually this
		is done by getting in disguise, or scaling the wall, or finding
		Secondly, a player will fight their way past a hoard of goons to
		reach their nemesis. Upon defeat, the nemesis will retreat and 
		descend into the lair further while dropping the class's epic 
		Finally after a player chases them across a lava field, they
		fight for a 3rd time. Once this is accomlpished, the nemesis 
		will make a pact with a demon and transform into their final 
		form. In order to deal with this, a player's LEW will transform
		into their class's Ultimate Legendary Weapon.
		(For help with the lava field please see RoyalTonberry's maps)
		Upon defeat, the player will keep their ULEW, and recieve the 
		last bit of their class's legendary outfit, their epic accessory
		Here's the more in-depth look.
		Seal Clubber: 
		You must disguise yourself in a seal outfit. In order to do so, 
		you must collect hellseal parts from mother hellseals. They will
		show up the more you defeat the pups and they get really mad.
		Gorgolok, the Demonic Hellseal has 6 boneshields that must be
		broken before you can deal damage to him. A shield will break
		when it takes 100+ damage. Shields will not be regenerated.
		Trophy: Obtain and wear every bit of piece of seal gear that 
			Phineas can make. You will need to know Torso Awaregness
			in order to get them all.
		Turtle Tamer:
		You must tame 6 beret-wearing tortoises. Just equip the 
		fouet de tortue-dressage and use Apprivoisez la tortue 5 times 
		in battle
		Stella, the Demonic Turtle Poacher has an extremely high soft
		damage cap. In order to defeat her, you must deal damage from as
		many separate sources as you can muster in a single round. Or in
		simpler terms, learn shieldbutt, headbutt, and kneebutt and use 
		their triple combo in combat.
		Trophy: After beating Stella, tame 30 guard tortoises and 
			recieve their blessing.
		You must get a evil cultist robe to get in. To do so requires
		acquiring 5 encoded cult documents from the middle-managers and 
		using them to create a link to a new pastamancer summon. Getting
		the summon to level 3 (use him in 9 combats) will allow him to
		steal a robe
		Spaghetti Demon is a bit of a challenge. In order to defeat him,
		you must continually rebind him with entangling noodles. Take a
		shot at damaging him in the meanwhile.
		Trophy: After defeating the Demon, adventure in the temple ruins
		to obtain a special skillbook. The skill will give you a bonus
		3 adventures to the next noodle dish you eat, and the bonus will
		stack with multiple day's castings. Starve yourself of pasta for
		while casting this skill for at least 10 days. If you can get a
		bonus of 30+ turns in a single eating, you will earn the trophy.
		You must discover the potion that grants you slimeform.
		See the wiki for a better explanation of this:
		Lumpy, the Demonic Sauceblob requires you to buff yourself with 
		all 4 of the Suaceror saucespheres. He'll peel one of them off 
		each turn, so you must take him down with Saucemageddon quickly.
		Trophy: Learn all the possible recipes for slime potions
		Disco Bandit:
		In order to gain access to the club, you need to dress yourself
		up as a raver. In order to do so, you need to first teach
		yourself some new dance skills. Each of the dancers in line
		for the club will give a special message, after which you must
		use Gothy Handwave to start learning their moves.
		breakdancing raver: "spinning his legs wildly" 
		pop-and-lock raver: "spastic and jerky" 
		running man: "run away" 

		After a while, you will learn their move. You must then discover 
		the combo order which lets you steal items from enemies.
		Use the combo to steal various paraphenalia and eventually 
		you'll have enough to get into the club.
		The Demon of New Wave will periodically increase his attack
		strength by turning dials on his mixing board. To drop him back
		down to normal you need to use the skill Funk Bluegrass Fusion.
		Trophy: Create the following combat macro:
			skill Disco Eye-Poke
			skill Disco Dance of Doom
			skill Disco Dance II: Electric Boogaloo
			skill Disco Dance of Doom
			skill Disco Dance II: Electric Boogaloo
			skill Disco Eye-Poke
			skill Disco Dance II: Electric Boogaloo
			skill Disco Dance of Doom 
			skill Disco Face Stab 
			skill Disco Dance of Doom 
			skill Disco Eye-Poke 
			skill Break It On Down
			skill Pop and Lock It
			skill Run Like the Wind
			skill Break It On Down
			skill Run Like the Wind
			skill Pop and Lock It
			skill Pop and Lock It
			skill Break It On Down
			skill Run Like the Wind
			skill Pop and Lock It
			skill Run Like the Wind
			skill Break It On Down
			skill Run Like the Wind
			skill Break It On Down
			skill Pop and Lock It
			skill Run Like the Wind
			skill Pop and Lock It
			skill Break It On Down
		Use this in battle after beating the Spirit of New Wave. If it
		fully executes, you get the trophy. Best used against something
		that has 100% physical resistance. 
		Accordion Thief:
		You must get 5 hacienda keys. 4 keys will be hidden away in the
		barracks. There are 6 rooms, and 3 options in each room:
		Left Hallway       
		1. Kitchen     
		2. Dining Room		
		3. Storeroom
		Right Hallway
		4. Bedroom
		5. Library
		6. Parlour
		Start by searching the Parlour and Library and working your way
		in reverse numerical order.
		A room can have a key or a clue to a key but not both. Clues are
		given to the 2 lowest rooms that have keys...you will not see a
		clue pointing you to the Library or Parlour as a result.
		The fifth key must be pickpocketed from a sleeping or surprised
		Somerset Lopez, Demon Mariachi will periodically give you 
		earworms. To get rid of these and deal damage to him, use Sing.
		Trophy: After defeating Lopez, the fireplace in the Barracks 
		Parlour wll now lead down to a phonograph. In order to get the
		trophy, you must record at least each of the following songs 
		once in a single day:
		The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
		Benetton's Medley of Diversity		
		Elron's Explosive Etude		
		Chale of Companionship		
		Prelude of Precision		
		Donho's Bubbly Ballad
		Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
		Fernswathy Quest:
		This quest is fairly simple, but is split into two legs.
		Accepting this quest will unlock the Misspelled Cematary for 
		In order to obtian the key, you must obtain a grave-robbing 
		shovel (rusty or otherwise), and have it in your inventory until
		you dig up his grave. You'll gain 500 meat, and with enough stat
		will get the key later.
		If this portion is completed during level 4 or 5, you may be
		able to step through a temporal rift, which will close once you
		reach level 6. 
		Unlocking his tower will allow you to adventure in the ruins. 
		You'll then need to adventure until you discover the book. Once
		you return it, you'll get your manual. This can be used once
		daily over 5 days. It will give stat gains of 20,40,100,40,20
		before it becomes useless. (Though reading for 30 days in an
		ascension qualifies for a trophy). In addition, this will
		also unlock Fernswathy's Basement for adventuring.
		Meatcar Quest:
		If unavailable, this will unlock the Degrassi Knoll. You must
		adventure (or buy if a muscle sign) these items:
		Cog, Spring, Sprocket    	Cog-Sprocket Assembly
		Empty Meat Tank, Meat Stack	Full Meat Tank
		Tires, Sweet Rims		Dope Wheels
		Paste the items together from left to right to obtain the result
		Combined the tank and assembly to form an engine, and then the
		wheels to recieve your meat car.

		White Citadel Quest:		
		This one is fairly simple, and just requires pure turn burning.
		First adventure in Whitey's Grove until the Path to White
		Citadel is unlocked. Adventure there until the Citadel is found.
		You will recieve a lucky rabbit's foot for completing the quest.
		Dwarven Factory quest:
		After reaching 100 in your main stat, Olaf/Izzy/Blaine will give
		you a quest to retrieve an item from Itznotyeritz Mine.
		Strap on your mining gear, head into the new branch, and spend
		a turn searching the office to find your target and get your
		reward. Easy, right?
		For what the Dwarven Factroy Complex can actually yield, please 
		see this:
	b. Basement
		Not really going to cover this. It's basically a way to power 
		Completing 500 levels of the basement will give you a telescope
		certificate. This will let you see what monsters you will fight
		during the tower and tell you what the first gate is. 
		Telescopes are pretty much a key to figuring out what you'll 
		need well ahead of time.
	c. Clan Dungeons
		Really too much detail to go into properly for this FAQ.
		Participate with clannies and get cool loot.
	d. Required Quests
		In addition to the regular Council quests, several quests are
		required to complete the game. These primarilly open up areas.
		To begin with, the pieces needed for the level 11 quest.
		Hidden Temple Quest:
		In order to open the hidden temple, you must adventure in the
		Spooky Forest until you obtain:
		Spooky Temple Map
		Spooky-Gro Fertilizer
		Spooky sapling
		Using the Spooky Temple Map with all 3 will open the Hidden
		Temple for adventuring.
		Unlocking Spookyraven Manor:
		Spookyraven Manor is a large zone with 11 adventure zones. It 
		begins hidden, as one must adventure in the Haunted Pantry until
		the rest of the house is discovered. (It will occur after 
		you spend 10 turns).
		Once inside, only 3 zones are available. To open the rest of the
		house, one needs to start adventuring in the Billiards Room
		until you obtain:
		Handful of handchalk
		Pool cue
		Equip the cue, and then use the chalk. Eventually (and if you
		don't get the adventure, reuse the chalk) you get the adventure
		Minnapolis Incorporealis. You will need to let the ghost break,
		go for solids, and try for the 8-ball in order to recieve the 
		library key.
		Inside the library, you can unlock the remaining 1st floor room,
		the Haunted Gallery, by (when it appears) to read the Fall of
		Spookyraven, and then choose to read the 5th chapter. This will
		trigger a special adventure in the haunted gallery, and after no
		more than 10 turns, the gallery key will drop.
		When prompted to read again (or if the book is the Rise instead)
		click on the white book, 3rd from the left on the top row. This
		will drop the metal stairs, and allow 2nd floor access.
		Upstairs, the next stop is the bedroom. When the option presents
		itself, choose to "Look behind the nighstand" to receive Lord
		Spookyraven's specatacles. Equipping these will allow you to 
		find a special item when you "look under the nightstand".
		In order to unlock the ballroom, when one finds the ornate
		dresser, you must first look at the top drawer (this will give
		a boost of moxie substat), and then in the bottom drawer.
		If you obtain the special item, follow these rules:
		Muscles classes must present the standards to the knights in the
		Haunted Gallery.
		Mysticality classes must translate the book of A.F.U.E.. in the
		Moxie classes must take the sheet paper to the Haunted Ballroom
		and approach the organ.
		The remaining zones in Spookyraven will be unlocked after you
		begin the level 11 quest.
		Pirate's Quest
		After unlocking the Mysterious Island, you can adventure in the
		Pirate's Cove. Adventure there until you obtain the
		Swashbuckling Outfit, equip it, and you will go in disguise.
		Obtain the abridged dictionary, and Big Book of Pirate Insults.
		After this, adventure in the barrr, learning insults as you do
		so. Recieve the treasure map, use it, and defeat a crab (flip
		it over for MASSIVE DAMAGE), to receieve the booty. Return.
		Continue adventuring and insults (until you learn at least 6),
		and get the Frat House Blueprints. Use them, and make a choice.
		1st option: Need Frat Boy outfit
		2nd option: Equip a mullet wig and have a briefcase
		3rd option: Wear a frilly skirt and have 3 hot wings
		All options when successful will give dentures. Return them.
		One more time in the barrr, and when you have enough insults,
		choose to heckle. Most responses to Rickets' insults will make
		sense, and in the grand tradition of Monkey Island, I won't
		tell you the exact pairs :P
		After completing this, burn turns in the F'c'l'e, until you get:
		mizzenmast mop
		rigging shampoo
		ball polish
		Use all 3, and one more adventure there will net you 5,000 meat,
		and the pirate fledges.
		Giant Castle Quest:
		In order to unlock the Hole in the Sky, you need to complete a
		quest in Castle. You will need to obtain the following items:
		furry fur
		awful poetry journal
		giant needle
		You will also need to place the Procrastination Giant on guard
		duty. Using the giant castle map, will result in a quantum egg.
		Combine this with a S.O.C.K. to unlock the Hole in the Sky.
		Dungeons of Doom:
		In order to open the Dungeons of Doom, you need to first start
		adventuring in the Giant Greater-Than Sign, and obtain a plus
		sign. Continue until you get Teleportitis.
		When the Oracle adventure shows up, pay 1,000 meat, and read the
		plus sign to unlock the Dungeons.
	e. Miscellaneous Quests
		Covered at a later date
Contact &  Acknowledgments
Thanks to Ceej & Bacon for this site
Thanks to our <S>CNET</S> CBS overlords
Thanks to the KoL Dev Team. Except for Skully, who doesn't even know the quest
Istari is an asshole. Never listen to him.

Drop me a line at gvalko@gfmods.com if you have a suggestion for this FAQ.
If you have a question that can't be addressed by looking at the wiki, e-mail
me. If it can be, and there's no adequate reason, expect mocking.

Flames and spam to /dev/null please.