UMA News List/Items FAQ by SirVG

Version: 1.00 | Updated: 02/01/10 | Printable Version

Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers
System: Wii
UMA News List and Items FAQ v1.0
Created on February 1st, 2010

Composed by Nicholas "Sir VG" Hoppe

If you see this in one line, your browser can handle the guide's 79 char limit

Table of Contents
I. What are the UMA News? [WHAT]
II. Where can you find UMA News? [WHERE]
III. What items can you get from them? [ITEMS]
IV. Text postings of the UMA News [TEXT]
a. UMA News #1 [UMA1]
b. UMA News #2 [UMA2]
c. UMA News #3 [UMA3]
d. UMA News #4 [UMA4]
e. UMA News #5 [UMA5]
f. UMA News #6 [UMA6]
g. UMA News #7 [UMA7]
h. UMA News #8 [UMA8]
i. UMA News #9 [UMA9]
j. UMA News #10 [UMA10]
k. UMA News #11 [UMA11]
l. UMA News #12 [UMA12]
m. UMA News #13 [UMA13]
n. UMA News #14 [UMA14]
o. UMA News #15 [UMA15]
p. UMA News #16 [UMA16]
q. UMA News Draft [UMADraft]
r. UMA News Extra [UMAExtra]
V. Conclusion and Legal Mumbo Jumbo [CONCLUSION]

I. What are the UMA News? [WHAT]
UMA News is a brief news article that appears in special stands throughout the
world.  They're basically released by a roving reporter who's covering events
of the world.  As you go further and further into the game, he continues to
release new UMA News.  There are a total of 18 in the game - 16 numbered, one
extra, and one draft.

II. Where can you find UMA News? [WHERE]
UMA News can be found all over the world.  Here are known locations to get
them in the world (there may be a possibility that I missed one or two, so
contact me if you find any others):

*Just outside Bridge Town
*In the steam room going from Bridge Town to Cid's Workshop
*Lett Aqueduct, by the Bird-Loving Girl
*Lett Highlands, just outside the Lett Dam
*Selkie Guild - Just outside of Vaigali's room
*Hush-Hush Pond
*Shuttle Platform #3, Going to/from the Library
*Red Leaf Station, halfway between the station and Holy Mountain Way (about
where you got the cutscene for Goldenrod)
*Just outside Pilgrim's Ice Cave (just before doing the lamp grabbing
sequence to get into the entrance)
*Rivelgauge Monastery (Inside the entrance)
*Moogle Woods Station

One big thing to note, is that you can get multiple UMA News from the same
stand.  Once all 18 UMA News are picked up, ALL stands disappear.

III. What items can you get from them? [ITEMS]
Here is a complete item list of what you get from what article:

UMA News #01 - Nut
UMA News #02 - Metal Lighter
UMA News #03 - Yo-Yo
UMA News #04 - Tongue
UMA News #05 - Cool Specs
UMA News #06 - Capsule Toy
UMA News #07 - Hand Strap
UMA News #08 - Tin Can
UMA News #09 - Stuffed Specimen
UMA News #10 - Tea Leaves
UMA News #11 - Keepsake
UMA News #12 - Commemorative Stamp
UMA News #13 - Designer Dart
UMA News #14 - Ivory Object
UMA News #15 - Board Game
UMA News #16 - Nut
UMA News Draft - Traffic Ticket
UMA News Extra - Nothing

IV. Text Postings of the UMA News [TEXT]
UMA News #1 with Bottle Cap! [UMA1]

UMA News First Edition
The Finest Source for Monsters, Mysteries and More!

REPORT: Gobins - Weakest Monster Ever?
Sightings of humanoid monsters we call "goblins" have been on the rise in
recent years.  Goblins were one of the first monster types identified, and
as far as monsters go, their threat level is low.  Curious by nature, they
swarm around anything that catches their attention, but they are easily
spooked, and will flee at the first sign of trouble.  They also multiply like
rabbits, and they have quickly become the most common and populous monster
species in the world.  There have been recent reports of goblins using
rudimentary tools and weapons, so perhaps they are not as simple and meek as
we would like to believe...

BREAKING NEWS: Crystal Bearer in the Capital!
Since the introduction of the law forbidding the use of arcane arts, there
have been fewer incidents involving crystal bearers in the Kingdom.  However,
and crystal bearer was recently sighted in central Alfitaria, apparently
causing mayhem with his powers.  Royal guards attempted to apprehend the
bearer but he managed to escape, taking a female Selkie hostage.  Their
current whereabouts are unknown.  The Royal Army has issued a warning to the
general public to stay away from the suspect if sighted, stating that "crystal
bearers are more dangerous than monsters."

INSIDER: Amulets and Wards for Cheap!
With special powers that enhance the wearer's abilities and protect them from
harm, amulets and wards have grown popular in the past few years, as monster
encounters have become more and more common.  Recently, increasingly luxurious
designs have been appearing in jewelry shops, and while they are pretty to
look at, they also come with a price tag to match.  This is why many frugal
adventurers turn to workshops.  With the right materials, you can have
amulets, wards, and other useful accessories custom made for a fraction of the
price of a jewelry store trinket.  This edition's special gift should help you
get started, so visit a workshop soon!

Free Bottle Cap!
Free with this First Edition is a special Bottle Cap gift, and item often
found near the scenes of monster encounters.  These materials have come to be
known as "Out-Of-Place Items," or OOPs for short.  Bottle Caps are frequently
found near groups of goblins, along with an assortment of nuts (of the nut and
bolt kind) and various Leatherwork items.  So keep an ear open for monster
encounters, and see what you can find!

UMA News #2 [UMA2]

REPORT: New Monsters in the Wildlands
Monsters have appeared in the Eastern Wildlands.  It appears the harsh,
blistering hot environment of the Wildlands is a perfect match for skeleton
monsters, as sightings have increased tenfold as of late.  These giant, bony
creatures wear strange adornments on their skulls, somewhere between goggles
and a visor.  Coincidentally, another monster breed that has been sighted in
the area is the killer hound, a canine beast with sharp horns.  Killer hounds
are known for their affinity for bones, and will happily gnaw and crunch on
any bones they find until nothing is left.  Be mindful that killer hounds have
a strong pack mentality, and they will attack en masse if they feel their pack
is threatened.  These dogs are NOT your best friends.

REPORT: Mysterious Flying Objects
Behind the idyllic facade of the Lett Highlands lurk rumors of mysterious
flying monsters known as bombs.  Most of the time, these red, balloon-like
creatures appear to just float in the air, but there have been reports that
they occasionally zoom towards passers-by and explode.  We urge our readers to
be cautious when travelling through the area.

NEW COLUMN: Out-Of-Place Items around the World
Introducing items found at monster encounter sights.  In each issue, we will
bring you the latest information on OOPs from around the world!  In today's
column, we look at artifacts that have been found in the Eastern Wildlands and
Lett Highlands.

- Eastern Wildlands Items - 
Leatherwork and limited edition Moogle Dolls have been found here, as well as
various models of Cool Specs.
-Lett Highlands Items -
As more and more goblins are encountered in the Lett Highlands, adventurers
are finding vast quantities of Nuts, Leatherwork, and Bottle Caps.  Also,
after the first bomb sightings, Metal Lighters have been found in the area as

UMA News #3 [UMA3]

REPORT: Monsters of the Forgotten Forest
Though people have long lived at the edge of the Forgotten Forest, its dark,
lush woods still harbor untold mysteries and secrets.  Here, explorers might
encounter bloomers, flying plants that emit unearthly wails, or perhaps the
giant roller bugs that always seem to travel in pairs.  Incidentally, the 
arnivorous bloomers attract roller bugs by scattering sweet-smelling pollen,
then stun them with their shrieks before consuming them.

COLUMN: Out-Of-Place Items around the World
- Forgotten Forest Items -
The strangest item found in the Forgotten Forest is surely the Yo-Yo,
especially considering the dearth of human beings in the area.  Explorers have
also discovered Four-Leaf Clovers and Spices here.  You might think these are
materials found in nature, but the ingredients in these items do not appear to
be indigenous to the forest.  Clearly, these are also OOPs.

INSIDER: Earrings, the Next-Gen Power Accessory!
Everyone knows that wards and amulets are a great way to protect oneself, but
now there's a new accessory in town: earrings!  While wards and amulets seem
to provide a "protective" aura for their wearers, earrings seem to have a
different, more "aggressive" feel about them.  If you need that extra punch in
a tight battle, don't forget your earrings!

UMA News #4 [UMA4]

BREAKING NEWS: Jellyfish Outbreak in High Tide Cove!
Large swarms of jellyfish have been spotted in High Tide Cove.  Of course,
these are not your ordinary jellyfish--they are giant electric jellyfish
monsters.  Thesde odd creatures appear to product electricity inside their
bodies and use electric shocks to stun their piscine prey.  Swimming has been
banned in High Tode Cove since the first sightings, and the ban will stay in
place as long as the monsters are in the area.

REPORT: Ocean Masters - Extreme Fishing!
Among monster hunters, there are those of a very special breed that persue
their prey out in the ocean.  These so-called "ocean masters" specialize in
single-line fishing of sahagins, giant fish-monsters that can measure up to 2
meters in length.  Ocean masters say you have to use the monster's power
against itself, and that they are easy to snare once you have the timing down.
However, most novices will find nothing is easy about these powerful sea

COLUMN: Out-Of-Place Items around the World
- High Tide Cove Items -
OOP hunters sometimes refer to Hide Tide Cove as "The Eatery" because of the
many Tasty Tidbits that can be found here.  When the electric jellyfish go out
to sea with the tide, flying eyeballs called ahrimans appear in their stead.
These monsters often leave behind Tongues of unknown creatures, as well as
beautiful Prisms.

INSIDER: Moogle Shops
Many shoppers avoid moogle shops, being put off by the shady environment, rude
staff, and lack of interesting goods.  However, the fact is that moogle shops
have everything the discerning adventurer needs.  The trick is to establish a
good relationship first.  Show them you are serious by buying products from
them, even if you don't need them.  The more you buy from them, the more
different types of items become available to you.  Believe us when we say that
there's not an item in the world that a moogle can't get its hands on!

UMA News #5 [UMA5]

EXCLUSIVE: The Power of Rings
Got ring fever?  We do!  A good ring is THE must-have adventuring accessory.
They bring out the innate natural abilities of the wearer while soothing and
protecting the spirit.  Relationship troubles?  Bouts of anxiety?  Not
satisfied with your job?  A ring might be just what you need to harness your
natural powers of recovery.  For maximum effect, rings should be worn together
with amulets and earrings.  Trust us, you won't regret it!

REPORT: Miracle at the Workshop
Worshops are the mysterious domain of craftsmen where they craft their
creations.  As they are a quirky lot, they may at times not give you exactly
what you ordered, but do not be concerned.  These craftsmen are truly gifted,
so you can rest assured that when they give you something new, its powers will
be extraordinary.

The Miraculous Talisman
One day, a young boy out playing was knocked into the air by a rampaging
chocobo.  The boy went flying and was headed straight towards a spear held by
a bronze statue!  A tragedy appeared unavoidable, but then a miracle happened.
The boy spun in the air and landed gently on top of the spear.  Around this
boy's neck was a Talisman that his parents had given him as a bauble, since
they thought it was merely a failed attempt at fusing together an amulet.

Talismans are not the only miracle accessory:
Bonfim Bracer
Inspired by a Cloth Ward.  Makes the day seem just a big longer.
Druid Bell Earrings
Inspired by Iron Earrings.  Your body recovers more quickly from fatigue.
Glass Thimble
Inspired by a Glass Ring.  Helps you get more gil.
Seed Earrings
Inspired by Glass Earrings.  Your rolling now packs a punch!

Some items will have you wondering what they are good for.  But rest assured,
these special accessories are truly miraculous.  Unfortunately, miracles
annot be performed on demand.  Not even the most skilled craftsmen can
guarantee miracle accessories.  All that can be done is to give the craftsmen
the right materials and hope for the best.  This may sound superstitious, but
perhaps a certain ORDER in which the materials are fused will increase your
chance of a miracle...?

REPORT: Sympathy for the Monster
It's always summer in Cota Faguita, but even in this island paradise, tragedy
can strike.  A kind-hearted fisherman called Zay LeMar was injured while
trying to help a flan that had been stranded on an island.  For his trouble,
the fisherman was not only attacked by the flan, but also by nearby electric
jellyfish.  Fortunately, LeMar was covered by the secretions of the flan,
which insulated him from the electric shocks of the jellyfish, and thus
prevented serious injury.  But let this be a lesson to us all: monsters will
be monsters.

COLUMN: Out-Of-Place Items around the World
- Costa Faguita Items -
Several OOPs have been discovered in Costa Faguita.  Much like High Tide Cove,
Tasty Tidbits are a common find here, along with the occasional Prism.

UMA News #6 [UMA6]

REPORT: The Valley of Death - Racers Beware

There is a valley just beyond the Chocobo Circuit that reeks of death, a place
seemingly void of the protective light of the Crystal.  Here, chocobo racers
and fans have reported many monster sightings.  One oft-seen monster is the
trickface, whose vast wings sprout from its giant face.  True to its name, its
face is an ironic illusion.  Two expressions in the same face, one angelic,
the other sinister, and oddly enough, it is said that they are in constant
conflict.  Another frequently sighted monster is the kyokotsu that,
individually, closely resemb le the skeleton monsters of the Wildlands.  We
say "individually," because they kyokotsu are almost always found moving
together in dense colonies.  It was actually believed until recently that
these kyokotsu colonies were a single entity, and thus the coloneis have been
given the name of that entity, which is Gashadokuro.

BREAKING NEWS: Floral Paradise Under Assault
According to reports, the famed flower-watcher's mecca of Cherry Checkpoint
has recently been the site of numerous flan and roller bug attacks.  The
monsters have caused extensive property damage, but no injuries have been
reported as of yet.  Although the infestation has hurt the region's tourism
industry, hunters and explorers are delighted that these monsters are now
appearing in a more accessible area than their traditional habitats in the
Forgotten Forest and Costa Faguita.

COLUMN: Out-Of-Place Items around the World
- Cherry Checkpoint Items -
In the past, very few items were found in this area, but with the recent
monster sightings, we are predicting an increase in Prism and Yo-Yo finds.
- Chocobo Circuit Items -
The Chocobo Circuit is a veritable treasure trove of materials.  You can
expect to find Cool Specs, Antiques, Tongues, and Capsule Toys.  And if you
are very lucky, you may come across some Hand Straps, Artworks, and Holy
Relics as well.

UMA News #7 [UMA7]

BREAKING NEWS: Wildlands Cultivation in Peril
The cultivation of the Eastern Wildlands has taken a sinister turn.  Pioneers
have long been trying to turn the arid land into fertile farmland, but have
met with little success.  Instead of corn and wheat, giant malboros are now
growing in the Wildlands, and cactus monsters known as cactaurs wander amongst
them.  Spell-casting goblin healers have also been spotted making the
Wildlands more treacherous than ever before.  In particular, the growt of the
malboro population is a grave convern.  Although unable to move, they can
reach out with their gigantic mouths and tongue-like tentacles to capture and
swallow any prey that wanders near.  As for the cactaurs, the local pioneers
tried to case them away from water, thinking that excess watering would cause
them to rot.  Unfortunately, it only resulted in the monsters growing larger,
and at an alarmingly fast rate at that.

REPORT: Luck is as Skill
We've already introduced a variety of accessorites that can protect and assist
adventurers on their journies, but did you know that there are also
accessories that can increase your luck?  Luck can be a valuable ally to an
adventurer--the more luck you have, the more likely that it is that you will
find rare items and treasure.  It is something to consider when thinking about
 what accessories to equip.

COLUMN: Out-Of-Place Items around the World
- Easter Wildlands Items: UPDATE -
Ever since the first reports of malboro activity in the Eastern Wildlands,
explorers and treasure hunters have reported that it is now much easier to
find Designer Darts, in addition to the usual Nuts, Bottle Caps, Spices,
Tongues, and Prisms.  Small quantities of Hand Straps and Ornamental Plants
have also been discovered recently.

UMA News #8 [UMA8]

BREAKING NEWS: Monsters of the Holy Mountain Way
Holy Mountain Way is a quiet, narrow path that leads to Rivelgauge Monastery,
but as of late it has become a deadly area where random assaulta, stalkings,
and drownings are commonplace.  The Royal Security Forces initially
investigated the incidents but withdrew as soon as they concluded that it was
most likely the work of monsters.  Freelance hunters have driven away numerous
goblin samurai, tonberries and flans, but the problems continue unabated.  The
goblin samurai appear to be leaders within the goblin community, and they are
armed with lethally sharp swords.  Although similar to other goblins in
temperament, they sometimes fly into extreme rages, slashing at anything that
moves.  Tonberries are hooded, vaguely humanoid monsters.  In the majority of
tonberry attacks, the victims reported being surprised from behind.  If you
encounter one, make sure to always keep your eyes on it, and your back to the
wall.  One weakness that they have is that despite their quickness, they lose
their balance easily.  Going into an area with unstable footing may be a good
way to escape them.

REPORT: A True Test of Faith
The Pilgrim's Ice Cave is a harsh, freezing environment that every Rivelgauge
pilgrim must face, a true test of their fait and mettle.  Furthermore, a
recent increase of monster attacks have made the area deadlier than ever,
giving trouble to even the most disciplined of pilgrims.  Ahrimans, which
appear to be giant winged eyeballs, swoop down from the cave ceiling, and
blast unwitting passers-by with their death rays.  Packs of shadow beasts led
by silver-coated fenrir wolves have also been menacing pilgrims on their
already perilous journies.  Coeurls look like giant cats, and they are usually
harmless, as far as monsters go.  Hoever, they are curious by nature, and in
this barren landscape, they will quickly react to any changes in the
environment, such as people who pass by them.  Sahagin-like creatures have
also been spotted below the ice of the frozen lakes.  The area has literally
become a veritable next of monsters.

COLUMN: Out-Of-Place Items around the World
- Holy Mountain Way Items -
During their investigation, Royal Security Forces found Fine Blades,
Tableware, Prisms, and Spices in the area.

- Pilgrim's Ice Cave Items -
Many items can be found in this area.  Moogle Dolls, Prisms, Leatherwork,
Tongues, and Tasy Tidbits are so common that you may step on them without even
noticing.  Luckier adventurers may discover Stuffed Speciments, Buried
Treasure, Hand Straps, or Tin Cans.

UMA News #9 [UMA9]

REPORT: The Snowfields - White Abyss
In the Snowfields, the true enemy is not the monsters that inhabit the area,
but the terrain itself.  Pilgrims headed for the Rivelgauge Monastery face
countless challenges in the forsaken wasteland, and moster are turned back by
the freezing cold and relentless snowstorms.  A lighthouse that once guided
pilgrims though storms now serves as the lair of goblin warriors, which
behemoths roam the icy landscape outside.  Sometimes, the behemots accidently
step on claymores, a bomb sub-species, are are blown high into the air.
Furthermore, the Snowfields are one of the few areas with sightings of the
King Behemoth, one of the largest monsters in existence.  The roar of this
terrible beast is said to tear the sky asunder, and shower down a rain of
meteors.  Fortunately, the King Behemoth does not stay in one area for too
long.  The wild chocobos of this region known this, and they hide inside caves
until the nightmare has passed though.  Experiences guides watch the reaction
of the chocobos carefully while escorting pilgrims to the monastery.

INSIDER: Pilgrim Accessory Rankings
Pilgrims who risk their lives trying to reach the Rivelgauge Monastery known
that accessories can mean the difference between life and death.  In this
issue, we rank the top 3 accessories used by Rivelgauge pilgrims.

#3: Gold Ring
With the ability to dramically increase focus to ensure calm judgment in
dangerous situations, the Gold Ring is an obvious choice for the pilgrims.  To
get one, try taking a Designer Dart to a workshop.

#2: Gold Earrings
Gold Earrings enhance abilities across the board!  A bit of Spice should be
enough for workshop craftsmen to figure out how to make them.  If you're
having trouble finding some materials, maybe you should raise your luck.

#1: Pearl
Coming in at number one is everyone's favorite power stone, the Pearl!
Monsters of all kinds will seem a little less menacing with one of these at
your side.  Start  by taking a Crown to your local workshop.

COLUMN: Out-Of-Place Items around the World
- Snowfields Items -
In this freezing landscape, explorers can often find items related to fire,
such as Metal Lighters and Fireworks.  Surprised?  You shouldn't be--they're
not called OOPs for nothing!  Quality items such as Stuffed Speciments and
Crowns are also common, while Ivory Objects and Buried Treasure are rarer

UMA News #10 [UMA10]

REPORT: Moogle Woods Haunted?
Moogle Woods--this dark tangle of ancient trees stretching beyond Moogle Woods
Station has become the site of many paranormal incidents, and is rapidly
becoming a ghost-hunting hot spot.

One such paranormal phenomenon is the cursed spike.  A visitor to the forest
reported that this bizarre floating spike appeared in front of him and began
spinning like a compass needle.  It eventually came to an abrupt stop, as if
reacting to some magnetic source.  Furthermore, photographs taken in the woods
have captured what appear to be vaguely humanoid creatures in the shadows,
glowing with ghostly light.  The people who took these photographs have fallen
victim to a bizarre spiritual malaise, and now every photograph they take is
haunted by the same ghostly images.  They only cure for their condition
appears to be the holy water of Rivelgauge Monastery, but with monsters
continuing to infect the already treacherous road to the monastery, the cure
may be more dangverous than the disease!

REPORT: Moogle Woods - The Darkness Within
Monster activity in Moogle Woods has increased ever since the first reports of
paranormal phenomena.  Trickfaces (introduces in UMA News #6) and packs of
tonberries led by tonberry queens have been spotted frequently in the area.
Clusters, yet another sub-species of bombs, have been sighted in the woods as
well.  Note that when clusters explode, they sometimes spew out materials, as
well as monsters called pineapples.  Approach with caution!

BREAKING NEWS: The Great Noosie Debate
Have you heard of Noosie, the Giant Monster of the River?  It is said to live
in the deep waters of Silent Spring, though this information has never been
officially confirmed.  However, Noosie sightings have been on the increase as
of late.  Tourists have flocked to the area, hoping to catch a glimpse of this
fabled creature.  Local businessmen were even planning to rename the area
"Lake Noos" to cash in on the boom.  However, heir plans were foiled when it
was revealed that the latest "Noosie" was nothing more than a run-of-the-mill
hydra monster.  The misunderstanding apparently occurred when locals overheard
monster hunters discussing a new discovery in the lake and assumed they were
talking about the Noosie Legend.  Lately, sahagins and bloomers have also been
reported in the area, but with the latest Noosie commotion dying down, Silent
Spring is back to being...silent.

COLUMN: Out-Of-Place Items around the World
- Moogle Woods Items -
In Moogle Woods, hunters and explorers have been collaborating to find the
most efficient method of defeating the monsters in the area and obtaining the
materials they drop.  Some experiments they have tried are clearing a path for
tonberry queens so that they don't become enraged, and tossing objects into
the mouths of clusters to see what happens.  In the end, the collaboration
resulted in the discovery of 24 different items in the area.

- Silent Spring Items -
Four-Leaf Clovers, Spices, Tasty Tidbits, and Tongues are common here, but
more obvious OOPs such as Monster Buffets can be found here too.  Lucky folks
might also come across Tea Leaves or Deadly Poison, which are rarely found
elsewhere.  If you are extremely fortunate or skilled, you just may get your
hands on Tin Cans, Stuffed Specimens, and Ornamental Plants as well.

UMA News #11 [UMA11]

REPORT: Railroad Giant of Harvest Prairie
A massive pile of iron has been found lying next to the railroad tracks in
Harvest Prairie.  This metal pile appears roughly humanoid in shape, and
contains gears, exhaust pipes, and other mechanical parts.  Locals have
nicknamed the pile "The Railroad Giant."  It is actually believed to be the
monster called the Iron Giant, but investigations have been hampered by the
presence of coeurls and helmet heads (relatives of the roller bugs) in the

REPORT: Return of the Evil Spirit?
Monsters encounters are on the increase on Victory Monument Hill.  Reports
include sightings of crimson-colored skeleton beasts known as bloodbones, who
form a colony collectively knwon as Legion.  Other monsters in the area
include shadow beasts and bombs.  There is a legend in this area that a long
time ago, an evil spirit was banished beneath the Victory Monument.  Locals
are fearing that the recent incrase in monster sightings are a sign of this
evil spirit's reawakening.

REPORT: Flying Cones
Strange conical flying object have been reported at Cherry Checkpoint.
According to hunters, these object resemble flan custard desserts wrapped in
metal, so they have temporarily given them the name "armor flan."  Some people
also have reported hearing ominous howls, and have sighted pink flan princess
monsters (not the dessert) in the area as well.  Hunters are investigating
whether there is any connection between the armor flans, the howls, and pretty
pink flan princesses.

COLUMN: Out-Of-Place Items around the World
- Harvest Prairie Items -
In Harvest Prairie, hunters have found Nuts, Yo-Yos, Hand Straps, and Stuffed
Specimens, as well as some Buried Treasure and Capsule Toys.  Very fortunate
people may discover Spinning Tops, Monster Buffets, and Crystal Circuits as
well.  In rgard to Train Models and Action Figures, luck alone will not net
you any--there are other factors involved.

- Victory Monument Hill Items -
Moogle Dolls and Leatherwork have both been found here, as well as Metal
Lighters and Antiques.  If you are lucky, you may find rarer items such as
Holy Relics, Fireworks, and Buried Treasure.  There are very scant reports of
Ivory Objects, Board Games, Keepsakes, and Teddy Bears being found too, but
you would have to be VERY lucky indeed to find them.

- Cherry Checkpoint Items: UPDATE -
As expert predicted, the appearance of flans and roller bugs at Cherry
Checkpoint have led to new item discoveries, such as Prisms ans Yo-Yos.  In
addition, items such as Capsule Toys, Rainbow Wine, Spinning Tops, Cosmetics,
and Tiaras have also been found.

UMA News #12 [UMA12]

BREAKING NEWS: Rivelgauge Under Siege
High atop a holy mountain, Rivelgauge Monastery has long stood as the last
refuge of mankind.  But now, its sacred grounds are under siege by dark
forces.  A large group of monsters have been sighted in the Commoner's
Graveyard behind the monastery, led by monsters known as "tallows."  Goblin
healers, tonberries, and tonberry queens are some of the monsters that have
been sighted.  Fortunately, the inside of the monastery is still safe.

BREAKING NEWS: Goblins Gather in the Highlands
Scattered reports indicate that goblins have started to congregate in the Lett
Highlands.  In addition to warriors and hunters, rarer goblin types such as
healers and samurai have also been sighted.  This ominous phenomenon could
potentially be a catastrophic sign of things to come.  Despite the fact that
it appears they are just playing around with the bombs, something is
definitely amiss here.

COLUMN: Out-Of-Place Items around the World
- Commoner's Graveyard Items -
Explorers and hunters have noticed that many items can be found in areas where
tonberries have been sighted.  For example, here in the Commoner's Graveyard,
20 different items have been confirmed.  This includes incredibly rare items 
uch as Cosmetics and Death Masks, which have made the hunting and exploring
circles jump with joy.

- Lett Highlands Items: UPDATE -
We previously reported that the Lett Highlands are a good place to find
Leatherwork, Nuts, Bottle Caps, and Metal Lighters.  Now, 10 new items have
been confirmed in the area, including rarities such as Trading Cards, Board
Games, and Replica Guns.

Some fortunte souls have even come across items such as Commemorative Stamps
and Traffic Tickets.

UMA News #13 [UMA13]

REPORT: Legendary Monster Researcher
North of Bridge Town lies a vast desert island, where the Lilty Kingdom has
built a prison to house its most dangerous criminals.  Obviously, this is not
the most hospitable of environments, and for security reasons, not many
visitors are allowed in.

One day, a young scientist, whos primary research was monsters, asked the
Lilty government for permission to go to the Prison Sands to conduct research
on the monsters there.  However, the Lilty bureaucrats had no interest in the
subject, and thus his request was denied.  The scientist re-applied countless
times, but was turned away again and again.  Finally, he decided to take
desperate measures.

The scientist entered the Royal Library and began to vandalize the precious
national treasures on display.  Before the security guards could stop him, he
had inflicted an estimated three billion gil's worth of damage on national

After a short trial, he was sentenced to 1000 years of imprisonment.  When he
heard the sentence, he apparently shouted with joy.  The scientist had gotten
his wish--he was on his way to the Prison Sands!

Between shifts of forced labor, the scientist studied sand sharks, cactuars,
and other monsters that lived in the desert sands.  At the same time, as a
form of penance, he accurately identified many archeological artifacts
discovered in the desert and offered his findings to the government for free.
Unfortunately for him, the government was so greatful for his findings that
they decided to shorten his sentence and released him after only three years.

The scientist was devastated.  Just as his research was bearing fruit, he was
going to be forced to leave the desert.  It was once again time for desperate
measures.  He decided that the night before his release, he would lead a mass
prison break.  Of 268 inmates, 87 managed to escape that night.  Of course,
the scientist himself was not one of them.  For his role in planning the
prison break, the scientist was given a life sentence.  Now he has all the
time he needs to study the monsters in the desert!

COLUMN: Out-Of-Place Items around the World
- Prison Sands Items -
The Prison Sands are littered with the ruins of an ancient civilization.  Sand
sharks that swim in the sand dig into these ruins and bring artifacts such as
Designer Darts, Buried Treasure, and Artwork back to the surface.  Explorers
have also found Tasty Tidbits and Ornamental Plants here, but these are
obviously much more common items.

UMA News #14 [UMA14]

BREAKING NEWS: Ghost Biker at the Circuit?
Over at the Chocobo Circuit, all the chocobo riders are talking about the
recent sightings of a rampaging ghost biker.  According to witnesses, the
ghost bike races around the circuit at an incredible speed.  According to one
witness, "One second, you hear the exhaust pipes behind you, and the next
second, it has already passed though you, leaving you choking on its dust."
The ghost bike has also reportedly been sighted in the Snowfields, which are
nowhere near the Chocobo Circuit.

REPORT: Undead King of the Valley of Death
New reports from the Valley of Death (near the Chocobo Circuit, introduced in
Issue #6) speak of a monster with bones of gold.  With its regal visage and
glittering crown, this so-called "lich" is being called the "King of the
Undead" by local monster hunters.  The lich is usualy accompanied by an
entourage of bloodbones, and its crown radiantes some kind of magical aura
that protects it from all attacks.

COLUMN: Out-Of-Place Items around the World
- Chocobo Circuit Items: UPDATE -
In Issue #6, we introduced some of the items found around the Chocobo Circuit.
Since then, 11 new item types have been discovered, many of them rare items
exclusive to this area.  Collectors are asking monster hunters for their
support in finding these items, but they themselves join the search of course,
with luck accessories equipped.

- Snowfields Items: UPDATE -
As reported above, the ghost biker has also been sighted in the Snowfields, so
it is no surprise that new items have been discovered there that are similar
to those found near the Chocobo Circuit.  Since many of these items are
extremely rare, collectors have set up semi-permanent camps in these areas.

UMA News #15 [UMA15]

BREAKING NEWS: Black Flying Objects
Mysterious flying objects have been spotted near Victory Monument Hill and the
Prison Sands.  These objects appear to be mechanical, and they resemble the
Lilty Army's stat-of-the-art Crystal Armor suits, but these pitch-blank flyers
are usually accompanied by small flying discs.

The recent crash of the Aerial Prison has reignited rumors about top-secret
military experiments taking place there, and some have theorized that the
unidentified black flyers are prototypes for some kind of new technology.
However, military officials have vehemently denied these rumors.

Some monster researchers have come up with a more interesting theory about
these objects.  They suggest that these objects are doomsday weapons developed
by goblins.  Though it may sound far-fetched to the average ear, monster
hunters and item collectors are excited at the prospect of new developments in
goblin culture, and they have began their own investigations into the matter.

REPORT: New Cactuar Variant Found
Buried beneath the headlines about the Aerial Prison crash and the mysterious
black flying objects is the recent discovery of a new cactuar variant in the
Prison Sands.  The new variant appears visibly identical to normal cactuars,
but their rate of growth is almost double that of their more common cousins.
However, this discovery has generated little interestoutside of certain
scientific circles.

COLUMN: Out-Of-Place Items around the World
- Victory Monument Hill Items: UPDATE -
Ever since the black flying objects were sighted, more goblin warrior, goblin
samurai, and claytaur encounters have been reported in the area.
Consequently, the number of items discovered there have also inreased, with 20
different types now confirmed.  Items found near claytaur encounters are
especially sought after, but discovery rates have been sporadic at best.
Hunters are trying to figure out just how much luck is involved in these

- Prison Sands Items: UPDATE -
In addition to the 5 items previously reported, 7 new OOPs have been
identified in the area, all of them rare items.  The Forever Fruit in
particular was initially thought to be exclusive to the Valley of Death.
There are rumors going around that unscrupulous collectors are paying prison
guards to use prisoners to find these valuable items for them.

UMA News #16 [UMA16]

REPORT: Inside The Aerial Prison
The Aerial Prison once floated high above--in plain view, yet unreachable,
ts secrets safe inside its walls.  But after the mysterious facility came
crashing down, we formed a team to find out what lies within.

We expected to come across a gruesome scene after an accident at a densely
populated facility like a prison, but we were surprised to find that there
were no bodies there at all.  Perhaps this so-called "prison" was not a
prison at all.

Determined to uncover the truth, we plunged fearlessly into the dark interior.
The entire structure creaked and groaned, threatening to collapse at any
moment.  We entered what appeared to be a large storage facility, but as we
ventured deeper and deeper, it grew darker and darker, until we were finally
enveloped in total darkness.

It was then that one of the team members saw a glimmer of light shining
through a crack in the door.  Someon was inside!  With our hearts racing, we
peered inside the door, and what we saw was a group of goblins dancing around
a bonfire, enraptured in some kind of bizarre ritual!  The goblin healers were
chanting eerie incantations and gesturing toward the fire, like shamans before
a sacred altar.  The chanting grew louder and louder, and we wondered what was
going to happen next.

Suddenly, the healers stopped their chanting and slammed their staffs into the
ground.  At the same time, the fire vanished into the ground, and a great
chasm opened in its place.  Then, a veritable kaleidoscope of colors burst
from below, and a deep, haunting chorus of ethereal voices echoed through the
chamber.  "Omega, Omega!" the voices chanted, and soon after, an apparition
emerged from the chasm, a most terrifying sight that can only be described as
"evil incarnate."

We fled from the desert as fast as we could, and never once looked back.

COLUMN: Out-Of-Place Items around the World
- Aerial Prison Interior Items -
The Aerial Prison has yet to be fully explored by item hunters and the like,
but after the crash, it was said that a portal of sorts to another world was
opened there.  If this is indeed the case, it is a virtual guarantee that
there are extremely rare and valuable items to be found here.  However, we
strongly urge our readers to stay away from this dangerous place.  If you do
insist on going there, you will need to be in top condition, have the best
equipment possible at your disposal, and be blessed with amazing luck.

UMA News Draft [UMADraft]

Note from the Editor-in-Chief:
Apologies for the rough state in which we must publish this issue, but our
quest for the truth has forced us to rush it out in its current state.
Remember that we are still the Number One Source for Monster, Mysteries, and

BREAKING NEWS: Under the Victory Monument I, the Editor-in-Chief of UMA News,
was suddenly on the run from the law.  Apparently, The Royal Security Forces
were searching forme to "inquire" about my infiltration of the Aerial Prison
(as reported in the last issue).

As I fled from the capital, I stumbled upon the entrance to what appeared to
be a purposefully hidden area underneath the Victory Monument.  As far as I
can remember, the entrance was somewhere around the Valley of Death.  After
venturing inside and walking through the naturally-formed caverns, I
encountered a group of goblins.

Though the pen is migtier than the sword, sometimes discretion is the better
part of valor.  In short, I ran as fast as I could!  The next thing I knew, I
found myself in what appeared to be the ruins of an ancient civilization.  The
sophisticated structures seemed to suggest a highly advanced culture, so I was
excited by the prospect of meeting possible remnants of this civilization.  I
approached a doorway at the end of a corridor, but suddenly, the whole
structure began to move toward me.  Even worse, what I had initially thought
were just statues of skeletons suddenly came to life and began to attack me!
I fled as fast as I could.

At this point, I just wanted to go back to my own civilization, so I bolted
through the door at the other end of the corridor and entered a large open
area where, quite unexpectedly, my wish was granted.  For reasons still
unclear to me, the area was filled with Lilty soldiers, who arrested me on

So dear readers, I am saddened to inform you that this is the last issue of
UMA News.  I hope this final article reaches you all... Though I don't know
how... Oh well, this who thing was done on a lark anyway.  Maybe I should
think about getting a real job, like my brother...

UMA News Extra [UMAExtra]

BREAKING NEWS: Monsters in the Vineyard!
Monsters have suddenly appeared in the Vineyard area.  Workers acted quickly
to contain the monsters inside the plaze in front of the Winery, thus
preventing serious damage and casualties.  Some monsters that have been
sighted are bloodbones, goblin hunters, goblin healers, and helmet heads.  It
is highly unusual for monsters to appear in populated areas, but experts fear
that this trend will continue.

V. Conclusion and Legal Mumbo Jumbo [CONCLUSION]
I hope that anybody who was looking for any piece of information from the UMA
News would find this guide useful.  If not, I'm sorry...but not much I can do
for you.

This guide was typed by Nicholas "Sir VG" Hoppe.  The original text is from
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers and is thus (along with
anything else related to the game) (C)2009 Square Enix.  But still, don't
steal my guide.

The only sites allowed to post this guide are:

Any personal use including print it is all fine and dandy and all that.
Reposting this guide in part or in full on a site other then the two listed
(or any that I add in later) will be sought after with a vengence by a pack of
killer hounds and a king behemoth.  No bearer powers will save you.  None.

If you do find any errors (outside of a couple typos that were made in the
game itself), please feel free to go to IMAMYTH Colosseum (link below)
and go to the contact button.

And finally, for those that love this game or gaming in general, please be
sure to check out the following:

IMAMYTH Colosseum - my personal site about my speed running skills:

Speed Demos Archive - a site devoted to speed running, collecting records from
gamers who are fast, skillful, and play legit:

TASVideos - a site devoted to tool-assisted speed running, explaining what it
is, and showing just how broken games can be:

Thank you and good day!

~ Sir VG

We Came.  We Saw.  We Speed Run.