Review by horror_spooky
"Another reason to hate the beach"
I absolutely hate the beach. It's always crowded with a bunch of obese people who have no business being half-naked and the sand is either extremely hot or the water is way too cold. On top of that, people crowd the water with their boats and jet-skis, plus little kids are urinating all around you. Sand gets in your food and you begin to wonder why you came to play in a bunch of glorified rocks. Luckily, my hobby is gaming, and I usually don't have to deal with the bad aspects of the beach in my video games, but unfortunately, Big Beach Sports even ruins the virtual beach for me.
Obviously a rip-off of the amazing Wii Sports, Big Beach Sports is a sad attempt to cash in on the success of that game by perverting the motion-sensing controls that the Wii provides. With only a handful of shallow and extremely boring mini-games, Big Beach Sports fails in every area that Wii Sports excelled in.
The first sport, Volleyball, is a little fun at first, but eventually becomes so boring that you'll want to quit way before you even finish one match. Basically, you serve just like if you were playing Tennis in Wii Sports and then swing the remote up and down randomly to hit the ball back and forth. This requires no skill and there is no strategy involved; the ball just seems to go wherever it wants to. On top of all that, the sets take forever so you'll have to sit through this torture much longer than you should be.
Football is in the same boat. While it is mercifully short, the games end up evolving into a random waggle fest that doesn't even require a functioning brain to play. You hike the ball, throw the ball, and then the person who catches the ball frantically waggles the Wii remote and presses the A button to dodge your two opponents. If you are on defense you basically waggle the remote until you tackle your opponent and your characters sometimes randomly jump into the air to try to block the ball. The latter happens quite a lot meaning that there will be a ridiculous amount of interceptions and incomplete passes.
While the previous two sports I mentioned were definitely repetitive and random, soccer is even more repetitive and random. You press A to switch between players, but sometimes the game automatically makes you switch, meaning that you'll be bouncing all over the place and you won't really have a feel of what you're doing. You can hold B to quickly run at the ball, but this rarely useful. Eventually, the ball will come to you and you just swipe the remote and your character will kick the ball towards the goal, most of the time scoring a point.
Disc Golf is probably the second worst sport in the entire game. The game encourages you to aim your toss, but I found it much easier to just toss at the default position since you're almost always end up really close to the hole anyway. Wind is supposedly a factor, but I never found the presence of the wind to really affect the gameplay any. You hold down the A button and swipe the Wii remote, sending the disc flying. If a disc goes out of bounds, you lose your opportunity for an eagle, but you will end up closer to the hole anyway so you'll be able to get an easy birdie, making it almost a strategy to throw your disc out of bounds. Sometimes the game even put me closer to the hole for absolutely no reason. Other times my character would throw automatically and sometimes he wouldn't throw at all. The controls are so unresponsive in this game that it gets on the frustrating side quickly.
Cricket is definitely the worst sport out of all of them though. A cheap imitation of "Baseball" on Wii Sports, you hit the ball and score so many runs. However, the controls are really unresponsive. What's worse is that you have to bowl the ball, meaning you have to swing the Wii remote wildly in circular motions, which can get a little on the dangerous side if you're not careful. This is also unresponsive and whether you bowl well or not seems to be completely by random.
The one sport that I actually found to be mildly entertaining has a weird name that I can't even remember right now. One player throws a jack and then the other players try to get their balls closest to the jack. Throws seem to be random again and the game doesn't properly read the force you put behind the remote, but it is still a little fun to see who's going to win and its hilarious when you knock someone else's ball way far away from the jack.
Instead of integrating Miis (though I don't blame the developers for this as I know Nintendo is really picky about games using the Miis), you have to create a whole new person to play as. The customization options are very few, but some of them can get a few laughs.
Similarly to Wii Sports, Big Beach Sports uses a point system to rate your skill. You, obviously, get points by winning games, but there's another way to earn more points in Big Beach Sports through completing certain tasks. Just like achievements, if you do something specific, a thing will pop on the screen and tell you did. For example, getting an eagle on a certain course in Disc Golf. While I have nothing against this, it is a shame that it wasn't used better. Oh, and by earning skill points you can also unlock some new customization options, though they're nothing revolutionary.
Two modes of play are available for most of the games. Quick Play is the mode you'll probably play the most as it gets you right to the "action" without much hassle. Tournament play is extremely boring because it takes away the multiplayer aspect of the game, leaving practically nothing. A third mode that is only available in some games is known as "Party Mode". It's the exact same thing as Quick Play except everyone gets to share one Wii remote. What's the fun in that exactly? You don't know? Me either.
The Wii is probably the most underrated system when it comes to graphics. Super Mario Galaxy has absolutely beautiful graphics that rival those of any Xbox 360 game, but unfortunately games like Big Beach Sports, which have extremely bad graphics, give the Wii a bad rap. Environments are horrendously bland and everything feels lifeless. You can rarely see what you're doing when playing sports and the camera tends to bounce everywhere. Some glitches are in the game as well which is just pathetic.
Oddly enough, Big Beach Sports sounds very similar to Wii Sports, so there isn't really that much to complain about here.
You can play through all of the sports in about twenty minutes. After that, you probably will never want to play this game again as it is just a terrible imitation of Wii Sports. You might feel like unlocking everything and getting all of the skill points, but I really doubt you'll be able to put yourself through that kind of torture. The multiplayer is no fun at all and there are no online modes either so this game is worth about, oh I'd say, a nickel.
Big Beach Sports meant well, but it failed due to unresponsive controls, terrible graphics, almost zero replayability, and repetitive gameplay. This is easily the worst game I have played on the Wii at the time of this writing and I'm severely disappointed that Nintendo even let this mess of a title be released on their brilliant platform. Hopefully developers learn from the mistakes of Big Beach Sports and the next time they want to release a Wii Sports knock off, they do it the right way.
Reviewer's Rating: 1.0 - Terrible
Originally Posted: 07/21/08
Game Release: Big Beach Sports (US, 06/24/08)
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