Review by KFHEWUI

"Broken difficulty and cheap AI renders the game unenjoyable and almost unplayable"

After years of lying dormant, a new Army Men game has been made, and what does this game have to do with the 3DO series? Other than the name Army Men absolutely nothing. This time the main character is Timmy, and his tan army man has disappeared. Using his overactive imagination, he imagines himself to miniature size and hunts his tan toys down and knocks them out.

The plot is weak but so is the story telling, and there is very little storytelling. There is a brief explanation before each mission, but that is about it.

Graphics is one of the stronger points of Army Men: Soldiers of Misfortune and the game is bright and vibrant. The first area of the game is Timmy's bedroom, and the messy room with toys strewn about looks great. 3D models look great, and the animation is great. I like how the enemies shuffle as they walk.

Army Men: Soldiers of Misfortune is composed of three campaigns: bedroom, kitchen, and outdoors, and each campaign have five missions. The levels take place in an open area, and this allows the player to play the level any way they want which adds some replay value. The objects usually consist of collecting items, and a counter in the top left corner of the screen tells how many of the objectives have been completed. A mini-map in the upper right corner shows items (blue) and enemies (red).

The game is third person, and controlling the game is not that difficult. The layout of the controls is decent yet the controls are solid and responsive, and they do not take too long to grasp. The only motion controls for the game is aiming, and the player aims with the Wii remote. For the most part the aiming is solid however there were a few times when it would go haywire and move around spastically.

Music plays throughout the level, and while the soundtrack does not sound that bad it is completely forgettable. The sound effects are minimal from the firing of the dart gun, and grunts from Timmy when he is shot. Every once in a while the tan will grunt when they are shot.

All of the enemies are tan colored with only a few different types of enemies including sniper, rifleman, assault rifle, and bazooka, and the enemies have a major issue which is how uninterested they are in fighting the player. The closer the player gets to an enemy the longer it takes for them to fire however the farther away the player is the more trigger happy the enemies become. This is a huge problem because the enemies are not only deadly accurate, but their bullets seem to have homing ability. Perfect example of this is that sometimes an enemy can magically hit the player by blind luck, and in level two, the second I walked through a door I was hit by an enemy bullet. This means the enemy knew I was coming somehow and fired exactly at the right second that it would hit me right as I stepped through the door. At first I thought it was blind luck, but it happened on several different occasions. Enemies also act like sponges and take way too much damage before dying.

Timmy has a variety of unique weapons however unique does not mean useful, and his default weapon is a dart blaster. This weapon is borderline useless and is second only to the vampire gun from Turok 3. The weapon is not only slow but extremely weak, and it takes about six to seven shots just to kill a single enemy. Other weapons include bottle cap, tennis ball, and water gun. In some levels Timmy will also get to control planes, tanks, and jeep.

Army Men: Soldiers of Misfortune has all the elements of a good game yet this game is rendered unplayable by one major and glaring flaw, the difficulty. The first level is simple and getting past it is a breeze however level 2 is like a bull that comes charging out of nowhere and rips the player a new one. Difficulty spike is so abrupt and sudden between the first two levels that it is unbelievable, and it makes the game unplayable due to several factors. Enemies will sometimes pop up out of nowhere or they will parachute done. Parachuting is not bad since the player can kill them before they land, but even if they do land, the player will still have a couple of seconds before the enemy starts attacking. Even worse is how dead accurate enemies can be the farther away they are from the player, and sometimes bullets will come flying out of nowhere and pelt the player.

Another issue is the using ramps, and Timmy is barely able to fit on a ramp. Most of the time he will fall right off unless the player goes slowly and this is easier said than done especially when the player is being pelted by bullets. Scattered about are a few health kits however the amount of health received is too low, and there are not enough health kits however I found out by complete accident that health and ammo regenerate after time, and once I found this it does remove a little of the difficulty factor. The camera also has a bad habit of randomly jerking upward or downward for no reason, and the player can use the reticule which is controlled by the Wii remote to move the camera.

Replay value is zero. There is only one broken difficulty and just beating the game alone is pure torture that there is no reason to replay the forgettable levels at all.

Army Men: Soldiers of Misfortune has the parts to make a decent game however the difficult is so absurd that it makes the game unplayable which is sad. If the difficulty was not so bad, this would be a decent game at least worth a rental however in its current form it is neither worth the time nor the effort. This is one worth avoiding at all costs.


Reviewer's Score: 2/10 | Originally Posted: 11/05/12

Game Release: Army Men: Soldiers of Misfortune (US, 10/10/08)


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