Review by horror_spooky
"The flop heard 'round the world"
I loved Conker's Bad Fur Day so much and I had spent so much time playing it that I was sure that no matter what happened, there was no way another game in the series could be less than amazing. For years I have waited for a sequel to that amazing title and when Rare finally releases a new Conker game it just happens to be a sloppy remake that takes some of the best parts of the first game and throw them to the side. I have never been this disappointed in Rare and it's a shame they put this huge stain on the reputation of a series that is home to one of the best games of all time.
If you want to know about the single player campaign, just read my review of the original game because the single-player is virtually identical. Besides graphical improvements, the first few moments in the game are the only original parts, and right after that the game just stays on the same track without any new surprises or anything. Still, the single player wasn't what made the original so great, it was the multiplayer, and how could Rare mess up a nearly flawless multiplayer mechanic?
By totally getting rid of it, that's how. Instead of the wide variety of multiplayer modes found in the original game, Rare decided to add some standard Deathmatch and Capture-the-Flag modes in order to win the hearts of Xbox LIVE users who refuse to play anything unless it is similar to Halo or Half-Life. Rare could have expanded on their brilliant multiplayer design from before by taking those same modes and adding better physics and multiple levels to go along with them. Just imagine how amazing that would be, and then stop to look at the final product, and how terrible it actually is.
However, you do notice that the game didn't receive the worst score possible, so there has to be some good found in it, right? Well, there is. While I absolutely the despise the class-based multiplayer system since it restricts what weapons you can use, I do have to say that the terminals are an interesting idea and I'm surprised that they haven't been implemented in more games. Basically, you walk up to a terminal and choose whatever item or vehicle you want and it spawns. This makes gameplay much more fast pace and that's a good thing since the multiplayer is so utterly terrible that it's honestly hard for me to talk about it.
Unfortunately, besides a little surprise at the beginning of the game, the plot is identical from the original. Honestly, you will enjoy this game a lot if you never played the first game, but for gamers who had a chance to play the much, much better original you shouldn't even bother.
One of the major high points of this otherwise terrible game is that the graphics are absolutely jaw-dropping. For a few minutes, I thought I was playing a game on the 360. The water effects are damn near flawless and Conker has more detail to him than I've seen in pretty much any character in any 360 game released so far. The environments are brilliant and fun to look at. If you played the first game, it is neat to go through and look at the graphical enhancements, but the prettiness doesn't create a good game, which is a major disappointment.
Years after the original game out, and the developers decide to censor some swear words that are present in pretty much any other video game ever created. What made the original Conker so edgy was that it wasn't afraid to use a naughty word, but this game censors the dumbest stuff. Once again, though, if you never played the first game then the hilarious dialogue is definitely worth checking out, so don't let this title slip by if you can't get your hands on the superior Nintendo 64 version.
If you have Xbox LIVE, you probably still won't even want to take this game online. The multiplayer is an absolute mess and it's hard to tell what's going on. Sure, it had some good ideas, but the rest of the gameplay suffocates these ideas. The single player mode is virtually identical to the original, so anyone who has played the original shouldn't even bother with this title.
Still, newcomers will find a lot to love in the single player campaign and it does last a decent amount of time; longer than most games out there. It's a shame that the multiplayer is so laughably bad because if Rare did the smart thing and kept the original multiplayer modes intact with some new levels and graphical enhancements then this title could have easily been the best Xbox game created.
Reviewer's Score: 4/10 | Originally Posted: 06/23/08
Game Release: Conker: Live & Reloaded (US, 06/21/05)
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