FAQ/Walkthrough by TheMightyRoast

Version 1.0, Last Updated 2013-01-15

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About the game


Title screen

This is an Xbox Live Indie Game (XBLIG) and is available to download either from your XBox 360 dashboard or from www.xbox.com. At the time of writing the full version of the game is 240 Microsoft Points whilst the trial version is free to download.

The main aim of the game is to not die dateless dummy. Or to quote the official description on the xbox.com website:

Man up and get a girlfriend! Choose your route carefully and win the heart of a special girl or you might end up a level 30 wizard.

About Me

My name is Tim Roast (XBOX 360 gamertag: TheMightyRoast). All my guides are listed on GAMEFAQS, including other XBLIG ones, at:

http://www.gamefaqs.com/users/tim_roast/contributions/faqs

I can be contacted via email at tjr10 [at] h o t m a i l . c o . u k (Replace the [at] with @ and remove all the spaces).

Playing the game

SPOILER ALERT: This guide contains spoilers. It is recommended you have a go at the game before referring to this guide.

From the main menu there are four options:

  1. New Game
  2. Load Game
  3. Credits
  4. Exit

So first time you play choose New Game, whilst if you are coming back to this game then you can load from one of the three save slots. And it is recommended that you do save along the way, in case you make a mistake and end up dateless.

When you do start a game you get to enter a name for your character. It is recommended that you don't do this all in CAPS because it is used in the text throughout the game.

Short walkthrough

You can either play the game normally without reading the below, trying to work through the multi-choice selections so that you don't get a bad ending (i.e. become a wizard, although some of these bad endings do let you know what you were lacking, e.g. charisma, so that you can go back and get past that bit in a future turn). Alternatively read the below for clues:

There are three girls in the game:

  1. Ellie
  2. Lia
  3. Vera

To get the Ellie ending you either need to collect enough charisma (and possibly intelligence, but charisma definitely works) along the way, and not choose any bad endings (where you become a wizard).

To get the Lia ending you need to collect strength or intelligence along the way, and not do any bad endings.

To get the Vera ending you just need to fail with Ellie because you didn't have enough charisma whilst also avoiding the bad endings too.

So bear these in mind when you make choices to the multi-choice questions and good luck.

Long walkthrough

Below is the long walkthrough with the text from the game that will get you through to see all the girl's endings. Also below is the text from most of the bad endings. There are some gaps though along the way (and if you have this game and want to contact me with the text to insert in those gaps then great), although not knowing these will not impact upon you getting to see all three girl's endings.

By the way some of the text in the game is censored with asterisks, so that is what I have done too.

The game starts the same for whichever girl you want to go after:

Start

You start in your bedroom. Across the bottom in a box is some text for you to read to follow the game. When in brackets these are your internal thoughts. For the purposes of this guide I have named the guy Tim. So what are your thoughts Tim?

( Well ****. Another summer wasted without doing anything worthwhile. How did I turn out to be such a loser? How did I graduate high school without having a single girlfriend?! )

(...)

( Oh right, I spent my entire ****ing adolescence sitting on the computer playing MMORPGs and surfing the web all day. College classes start tomorrow, so I'd better get my **** straight or I'll wind up a 30 year old kissless handholdless virgin! )

( And you know what they say... if you keep your virginity until the day you turn 30 years old, you become a wizard. So do I want to go around mercilessly scorching my unsuspecting foes with giant barrages of fireballs or do I want to improve myself, be confident, and get with a nice girl? )

( Screw magic, I want a girlfriend! )

Now you come to your first set of selectable options. Your decisions to these through the game determine whether you get a girl or become a wizard, so choose wisely.

What are you going to do before bed?

  • Go to the bathroom
  • Go on the computer
  • Go to the living room

Here going to the bathroom will give you strength (needed for Lia), going to the living room will give you charisma (needed for Ellie), whilst going on the computer will end the game with the background turning from your bedroom to the bad ending screen of the wizard in front of a red sky and a tower on a hill.


You got the bad ending

Your temptation gets the best of you and you foolishly login to the MMORPG that you wasted countless hours playing. What were you thinking?!

With the intent of only going on one last adventure with your e-friends, your addiction kicks in and suddenly you find yourself losing track of time. The sun rises, but what are you doing still playing? Don't you have a class to get to?!

On that day, you decided you'd rather stay in playing games all day instead of trying to make something of yourself. As a NEET, your life progressively gets worse and worse as the years pass.

Never even getting a chance to have a relationship, your 30th birthday approaches.

(4-letter swearword blanked out with asterisks that can't be used at the beginning of a sentence in a formatted FAQ on GameFAQs), you're a wizard, Tim!

THE END

Choosing the living room will give you the following:

Time to enjoy some TV before bed. Skipping over your usual channels, you instead watch a bit of the local news to get caught up on current events. This should be helpful whenever you have to make conversation. Now you'll have something to talk about other than your Chinese cartoons!

Afterward, you switch channel to a talk show.

( Man, how do these talk show hosts keep the conversation flowing so well with their guests? Not to mention their awesome delivery of the opening monologue which always gets a roomful of people laughing! )

You take some mental notes and decide it's time to go to sleep.

Earned 1 Charisma!

Going to the bathroom will give you the following:

You're on your way to 'drop the kids off at the pool' when you notice your sexy self in the mirror and start flexing. Not satisfied with what you see, you drop down and do 20 pushups. Ah, that's better! You become motivated to start hitting the gym.

Pop-up: Earned 1 Strength!

So having earned your +1 charisma or +1 strength (after dropping off your kids at the pool, which aren't kids in fact, but plop-plops) you then go back to your bedroom and do some more thinking about your life:

( Tomorrow will be my first day as a new man. I'm tired of being a loser. Tired of wasting my time in front of the computer playing games, watching my Chinese cartoons, and idiotically trying to be an indie game developer. )

( Back when I was a kid everything was so happy, but now everything is so sad. Time to do something different and stop moping around expecting things to get better. )

( Man, all this work just to get chicks? Now that I think about it, don't girls have it a bit too easy? I mean, in order for a man to be desirable by women he has to be fit, be rich, be confident, be funny, be outgoing, have ambitions, have friends, and have interesting hobbies. )

(What does a woman have to do to be desirable by men? )

( NOT BE FAT. )

(If you're a female shut-in people reach out to you and you're thought of as cute and shy, but if you're a male shut-in you're basically ****ed. )

( Argh! I need to stop thinking like this or I'll end up a bitter neckbeard posting misogynistic rants on internet message boards all day. It's time to stop making excuses, get out of my comfort zone, and make the world mine! Now for some shut-eye. )

The background switches to a kitchen.

You wake up from that damn reoccurring nightmare of a bear chasing you and realize it's time to get ready for class. You head to the kitchen to get some breakfast.

What do you want for breakfast?

  • Oatmeal, with lots of blueberries
  • Eggs, bacon and ham

Here you can choose the oatmeal for intelligence, or the fry-up for strength:

Oatmeal, with lots of blueberries

Yum! You got some good fiber and brain boosting nutrients.

Pop-up: Earned 1 Intelligence!

Eggs, bacon and ham

You have a nice meaty breakfast rich in protein. Hey, where are the pancakes?

Pop-up: Earned 1 Strength!

After breakfast the next screen shows the outdoor area of a school.

You arrive at your college's campus and head towards the building where your first class is being held. On the way, you notice a girl perusing a map of the campus with a puzzled look on her face.

( Damn, she's cute. Looks like she's still trying to figure out where her class is. Should I go help her when this other dude right next to me is scratching his head looking at the map with an even more confused expression? She'll just think I'm trying to get in her pants... )

( Wait a minute. Isn't that exactly what I'm trying to do? )

You decide to talk to her.

Tim: Hi, what building are you looking for?

Girl: The Humanities Hall...

Do you know where it is?

  • Yeah.
  • No.

Here the answer doesn't matter, but it is better to be truthful and choose no.

Yeah

Liar! What do you mean, "Yeah"? You have no idea where the Humanities Hall is! You realize this and stand there awkwardly trying to come up with something to say.


Ellie

Tim: O-oh... heh heh. Oops, sorry. Nevermind. I don't know where it is after all.

Girl: ... Um... Okay. I'll just keep looking. Thanks anyway?

She looks a bit annoyed as you run off to your class.

No

Tim: Oh. No... I'll help you out though. I might need to know where it is someday as well.

Girl: Thanks!

You spot the Humanities Hall on the map and she thanks you again for the help with a smile. The two of you part ways and you run off to your class.

The background now changes to the inside of a classroom with lots of empty desks facing towards a blackboard.

You get to class and look for a place to sit down.

( Damn, that girl looks cute. Should I sit next to her? ****, stop thinking and just do it! The old me would have taken a seat tucked away in the back, but now's the time to take every opportunity as they come. Let's do this! )

You take a seat next to the girl.

( That was the easy part... what are my next moves? There's a couple minutes left before class starts, but should I talk to her now? But what the heck am I supposed to talk about? Do I introduce myself first or would that seem weird? Do I casually ask some bull**** question to break the ice? What if I say the wrong thing? )

( Man, why do guys always have to initiate everything? Damn gender roles! Well, I guess I can sit here complaining and getting nowhere or I can just deal with it and MAN UP. )

You turn towards her and introduce yourself.

Tim: Hi, I'm Tim.

Lia: Hi, I'm Lia. Nice to meet you.


Lia

Tim: Have you heard anything about this class? Is the professor hard?

Lia: Oh... not really. Nobody I know has taken it.

Tim: Hopefully it's not too bad. Glad I got here in time though, the campus map confused the crap out of me.

Lia: Me too! He he.

( ****, was it always this easy? I'm so in there! )

What do you want to do next?

  • Lean in a bit closer
  • Ask her what her major is

Here you need to ask what her major is. The other option will end the game:

Lean in a bit closer

You lean forward a bit to continue the conversation, but before you know it her nice smell overwhelms you and you get too close.

Lia: What are you doing?! Pervert!

Students walking into the room overhear this and start snickering. Lia stands up and moves to another desk

Your horrible encounter with Lia traumatizes you for life, and you never again manage to muster enough courage to approach girls. The rest of your days consist of buying figurines and pretending to be a girl in MMORPGs.

Every Valentine's Day and New Years Eve, you bring up a fullscreen picture of your imaginary cartoon wife on the computer and sit there eating cakes that you baked especially for her. Before you know it, you turn 30 and have never kissed a girl.

You're a wizard, Tim!

THE END

So don't choose that, instead choose to ask what her major is:

Ask her what her major is

Tim: What's your major?

Lia: Journalism. What about you?

Tim: I'm undecided... I haven't really figures out what I'm interested in yet.

Lia: That's okay. You still have a lot of time!

Tim: Haha, yeah.

A few more students walk into the classroom. Lia glances towards them.

Lia: Sorry, I'll be right back. I have to go check on something.

Lia leaves the room and comes back a minute later as the lecture starts. The hour passes by as you can hardly contain your excitement.

( Yes! Class is almost over. Time to continue our conversation from before. Maybe I can ask her if she wants to have lunch with me. )

You sly dog...

However, just as the class ends, Lia immediately rushes out of the classroom before you get a chance to say anything.

( Huh. Guess she's in a hurry or something. )

The background changes from the classroom to the outdoor are of the school.

You tough it out through the rest of your classes like a champ. College ain't so bad!

What do you want to do now?

  • Go home and study
  • Go to the gym
  • Go look for a club on campus to join

Here you choose to go home and study for intelligence, the gym for strength, and the club for charisma.

Go home and study
Go to the gym

You go to the gym for the first time in ages and work on the usual routine of squats, benchpress, and deadlifts. After your workout, you head home and take a nice hot bath. Keep it up! That confidence will be sky high before you know it!

Pop-up: Earned 2 Strength!

Go look for a club on campus to join

Time to make some more friends and improve that social life! You don't want to go back to staying in your room all day, so you decide to find a way to spend time on campus to meet new people.

( Ooh, they have an anime club? Now I'm intere... NO! That path only leads to destruction. WELP, drama club it is! )

You join the drama club and learn some tricks of the trade. Hey, if you can't be an alpha male, might as well learn to act like one, right?

Earned 2 Charisma!

The shot changes to the exterior of your house at night time.

The day draws to a close and you earn some well-deserved rest. Good job today. All it took was a bit of determination and courage, but you've met two pretty girls. Hopefully you don't screw up like you usually do...

What do you want for breakfast?

  • Avocado Toast
  • Sausage and waffles

Here the first option gives you intelligence, and the second strength:

Avocado Toast

You spread some avocado on whole wheat bread. A good meal to have for a healthy brain!

Earned 1 intelligence!

Sausage and waffles

A hearty breakfast to start the day STRONG!

Earned 1 Strength!

Now you go back to the classroom:

You get to class early hoping to get a chance to talk to Lia again.

( Yes! She's here! )

( Ah... will I be able to talk to her everyday for the whole quarter? )

Tim: Hey Lia! How's it going?

Lia: Hi Tim.

Tim: How do you like your classes so far?

Lia: They're okay.

( ****. What am I supposed to do after this small talk phase? Might as well keep it going. )

Tim: So where are you from?

Lia: The outskirts of town... I'm living with my sister now in an apartment near campus.

Tim: Oh. Are you close with her?

Lia: Pretty close. I'd rather live with her rather than having a stranger as a roommate. Do you have any siblings?

Tim: I have a baby sister. I hope she won't miss me too much. She used to make me play dolls all day, and now she makes me do the voices over the phone!

Lia: Hee hee. Awww, that's so sweet. Do one of the voices for me!

Tim: Ehhh...

Lia: Come on!

Tim:

  • "Fine, I'll do it."
  • "No way! It's too embarrassing!"

The answer here doesn't matter, so choose either.

"No way! It's too embarrassing!"

Lia: Awwww, you're no fun.

"Fine, I'll do it."

Tim: (in a funny voice) Miss Tibbles, are you ready for tea? We're having biscuits today, what what!

Lia: Hahaha, that's so good! I can see why she loves you so much. I'm sure most brothers wouldn't do that for their little sisters.

Then it is back to the story:

Lia glances toward the door as more students come in.

Lia: S-sorry, I'm going to move to a desk closer to the front. I can't see too well.

She gets up quickly and moves seats.

( What the heck? That's twice that has happened. Does she not want to be seen talking to me or what? Whatever... this time I'll chase her after class no matter what and ask what the deal is. )

Lia runs off as class ends just as you predicted. You follow her and catch her in the stairway.


Lia

Tim: Lia! Wait up!

Lia: Tim...?

Tim: This might be a strange thing to ask, but is there something bothering you?

Lia: ?

Tim: I mean, you seem to be avoiding me when there are people in class, so I was wondering what was going on. Am I embarrassing you or something?

Lia: N-no, not at all! I like talking to you... it's just...

Lia: I have class now. Can we talk about it over lunch?

The both of you exchange phone numbers, and she runs off again.

( Wow, this is the first time I've gotten a girl's number. Is my luck finally taking a turn for the better? )

You enter it in your cell phone. It's right under "MOM".

The background screen changes to the school library.

You have some time to kill before lunch with Lia, so you go to the library to photocopy the pages of the textbook your math class uses.

( Buying the textbooks for all these classes is highway robbery. Might as well try to save some money... )

( Hey, it's the girl from yesterday. Let's talk to her. )

Tim: Hey, did you find your class okay yesterday?

The next bits of text depend on how you dealt with Ellie when you first met her when she wanted to find the Humanities Hall:

If you helped her

Girl: Oh! Hi! I did thanks to you. Hehe.

Tim: Cool. I didn't get a chance to introduce myself back then. I'm Tim.

Girl: Nice to meet you Tim. You can call me Ellie.

If you didn't help her

Girl: I did, no thanks to you.

Ah crap. She's mad. What do you do?

  • Apologize
  • Tell her off

Here you want to apologize, because the other option turns you into a wizard, and you'll end up dateless.

Apologize

Tim: I'm sorry...you were so pretty I got caught off guard back there. The wrong words just slipped out of my mouth.


Ellie

She blushes.

Girl: W-what is that? Saying such things...

Girl: Well, I forgive you. I mean I have to after hearing that line, right?

Girl: My name is Ellie by the way. What's yours?

Tim: Tim. Nice to meet you, Ellie.

Tell her off

Tim; What's with that *****y attitude? I was trying to help you back there, but I guess it was good I didn't! Girls like you are what's wrong with this world! **** you AND your family! I hope you flunk out of this school and end up on the streets, you no-good, dirty *****!!

You take the book she's reading and throw it across the room.

You continue your angry rants, with language so vulgar that reciting what was said would just be in bad taste. The people around you notice, and you're thrown out of the library by security. With a reputation as "that crazy dude", Lia is too scared to talk to you again after hearing the stories about you. Your grudge against women grows, making you a bitter loser too far gone for saving anymore. Although you focus your rage against the world into school to get good grades and start a promising career, you spend the nights regretting how you've turned out. Before you know it, the dreaded 30th birthday comes and you're still a dateless, hugless, handholdless, kissless virgin. You're a wizard, Tim!

THE END

So assuming you are still in the game it is time for you to ask a question, from a choice of two. The answer here doesn't matter either way:

Tim:

  • "So what are you doing here?"
  • "What's your major?"
"So what are you doing here?"

Ellie: Just reading over the textbook for my biology class.

Tim: Don't tell me there's already a test or something like that.

Ellie: No, no. I just want to get a head start...it's kind of a habit of mine ever since elementary school.

Tim: Whoa, what a dedicated student. You must have gotten straight A's all your life.

Ellie: Hehe, well I'd be pretty sad if I studied that much and didn't get good grades! I have to especially focus now since I'm going pre-med.

Tim: Sounds tough.

Ellie: I'll manage somehow.

What's your major?

Ellie: Biology... I'm going pre-med, so I'm going to make this library my home!

Tim: Haha, gotcha. Sounds rough though.

Ellie: I know, right?! I've heard horror stories of students sabotaging each other to get an advantage.

Tim: What the... like what?

Ellie: Hmmm, like passing around false information about exams, stealing notes, telling people the class was cancelled, and all sorts of other stuff!

Tim: That's crazy. Hopefully you're not a victim... or maybe you're considering doing something like that?

Ellie: Hey!

Tim: Hahaha, just kidding.

Now the two conversations converge:

Ellie: What about you? I haven't seen much people in here. What are you doing?

Tim: Oh, just need to copy the homework questions for my class so I don't have to buy the textbook.

Ellie: Ooh, nice move. I spent a ton buying all the textbooks for my classes. They cost too much. What a rip-off!

Tim: I know, right?!

Tim: By the way, do you know what's some fun stuff to do around here? I'm trying to try out new things lately.

Ellie: Oh... n-no.

Ellie: ...

Ellie: I can't think of anything right now... sorry.

Tim: Ah, ok. Well I'm gonna go find my book now. It was nice chatting with you! Maybe we can do it more sometime.

Ellie: Sure, I'd love to. See you later!

You finish your business in the library and head outside.

The library background changes to the outdoor area of the school.

Lia gives you a call and tells you she can't make lunch. She apologizes and proposes meeting for breakfast tomorrow instead.

( What the, is this girl playing me for a fool or something? )

You see an old friend from years back standing around near the parking lot.

What do you want to do?

  • Go home and study
  • Go to the gym
  • Go talk to him

Choose to study for intelligence, the gym for strength, and the third option for charisma.

Go home and study
Go to the gym

Gettin' swole, ooooh yeaaahhhh! You hit the iron for a couple hours and head home to take your routine hot bath. This is the life.

Earned 2 Strength!

Go talk to him

You go up to the dude and he actually remembers you! The both of you catch up for a bit and he asks if you want to join him and his friends for lunch.

Do you want to go?

  • Yes
  • No
Yes

Background changes to burger joint,

You guys go to a burger joint. It's been a while since you've hung out with a bunch of people. This is good for you! Time to get back to a bit of the social skills you lost during high school.

Earned 2 Charisma!

No

Ok, now it is back to your house, before the next day starts.

(So far so good. Hopefully I can straighten things out with Lia during breakfast tomorrow. Maybe afterward I'll drop by the library and see if Ellie is there. )

You wake up and head over to a local diner to meet up with Lia.

( I hope she shows up... )

( ... )

( Ah, there she is! )

Lia: Tim! Good morning!

Tim: Good morning.

Lia: I haven't been here before. Have you?

Tim: Nope.

Lia: Errm... anyway, thanks for meeting me. I know I've been acting weird around you in class, so let me explain.


Lia

Tim: ??

Lia: I used to be close friends with this girl Kim... she's in our writing class. Well, in high school, the boy she liked kept flirting with me, and I guess she got jealous. Her whole attitude changed. She started getting real nasty and would spread rumors about me being some sort of loose girl, you know? Even though I've never had a boyfriend.

Tim: ...

Lia: My last years of high school were so lonely, especially since most of my other friends started alienating me. She was popular back then, so everyone sided with her. I was looking forward to college so much. I thought I could start anew and leave those bad memories behind, but Kim... she's attending this university as well. I really enjoyed talking to you and hoped we could be friends, but I saw her walk in the room and panicked. I was afraid she would get to you too. I'm sorry...

Tim

  • "I'll be your friend, no matter what anyone says."
  • "Don't be sorry."

Here the answer doesn't matter either way.

"I'll be your friend, no matter what anyone says."

Tim: I didn't have many friends in high school either, so of course I was happy to have met someone so nice and pretty. Just count on me. I won't let that girl bother you anymore.

"Don't be sorry."

Tim: I understand now. I would have never believed her anyway. Just count on me... I won't let her bother you anymore.

Then the conversations are the same:

Lia: Thank you, Tim...

Tim: I hope we can become good friends from now on!

The two of you chat and eat lunch. Lia needs to get to her next class, so you decide to go to the library and see if Ellie is there.

The screen changes from the diner to the library.

(Let's go check her usual spot... )

Ellie: Boo!

Tim: AHHH!

Ellie: Hahaha, got you!

Tim: What the!

Ellie: Geez... am I that predictable that you know where to find me so easily?

Tim: Basically...

Ellie: He he, I'm glad you came though. I was getting a bit bored.

Tim:

  • "Isn't that a given?"
  • "Of course. I stop by every other hour to see if you're here!"

Here the answer doesn't matter again.

Isn't that a given

Tim: It is the library after all.

Ellie: Smart-mouth...

Tim: Hey, it's the truth!

Tim: How often are you here, anyway?

"Of course. I stop by every other hour to see if you're here!"

Ellie: Yeah, right! I'm here a lot more than you think, you know. Nice try, mister.

Tim: So what do you do for fun then?

And then both conversations follow the same pattern:

Ellie: I spend almost all my free time here pretty much.

Tim: That's not a good thing.

Ellie: Like I said, I have to focus on my studies...

Tim: I'm starting to think that's just an excuse.

Ellie: But I've been like this since high school. My parents have always pressured me to study, study, study. It's become my lifestyle.

Tim: Were in college now! I was like you too in high school... always staying home and not going out with friends or doing anything worthwhile. But now I'm making an effort to go out and try everything and actually experience life. Don't you want to do the same?

Ellie: I'm not sure if I can, or how to start.

Tim: Let's try it together. Tell you what, the fair is still in town for a couple days. Let's go there tomorrow after all our classes. Does that sound good?

Ellie: U-umm...

Tim: Get all your studying done so we can have fun tomorrow!

Ellie: Okay! I... I'll go!

Tim: Nice! I have to go now, but I'll see you there. See you later!

( Holy ****. Did a girl just agree to go out with me? Is this a date? )

( Well this day passed by quickly. I made so much progress today. I can't wait until tomorrow! )

The background changes to a chemistry lab.

( No classes with Lia today... instead I have to sit through chemistry lab. Man, who gives a **** about chemistry anyway? Whoops, Ellie probably does, haha. At least it's my only class today. )

Next you are in the corridor:

( Phew, felt like that class was never going to end. Time to go meet up with Ellie so we can head off to the fair. )

You hear voices coming from the women's bathroom.

Girl 1: Up to your old tricks again huh, you floozy? I knew it.

Girl 2: I... It's not like that! I...

Girl 1: What, *****?

Wait a minute. I recognize that voice. It's Lia!

What do you want to do?

  • It's none of my business. Better go pick up Ellie before she gets mad.
  • Save Lia.

Here you can choose to save Lia in which case you are heading towards the Lia ending and won't get with Ellie (or Vera). Or you can choose to pick up Ellie which will mean you won't get with Lia but might get to see the Ellie ending. The Ellie ending will also lead to the Vera ending if you don't have enough charisma for Ellie.

Lia ending

So you chose to save Lia. This means you can only get to see the good ending featuring Lia, and not one of the good endings involving one of the other girls. You better have enough strength (or intelligence):

Save Lia

You barge into the bathroom.

Kim: What the heck are you doing here?!

Tim: I don't know you, but just quit harassing her. Stop being an immature, vindicative ***** and leave her alone. It's obvious you're mad you'll never be as beautiful or kind-hearted as Lia. I'm sure everyone else notices that as well.

Kim: Who do you think you are, punk? I'm calling security!

Tim: Let's go, Lia.

You take Lia out of there, and the both of you run off campus to a nearby park.

The background screen changes to a park.

Lia: I'm sorry I got you involved like this, Tim. I wanted to fend her off myself back there, but... all those bad memories just came back and I...

Tim: She has no business treating you like that.

Lia: Next time, I know I'll be able to do it...

Tim:

  • "Don't you remember what I've said before? I'll always be there for you."
  • "Of course you will. I believe in you."

Here the answer doesn't matter and the conversation continues in the same way no matter which you choose:

Lia: Tim... thank you. I feel so much more at ease now... since I'm with you.

The two of you talk until sunset and decide to head back before it gets dark. Suddenly, some dude appears in front of you. It's Allen, Kim's latest boytoy.

Allen: Well, well. Here's the punk.

Tim: Who are you?

Allen: Hey, big man. I heard what you did to my girl in the bathroom. I'm going to make you regret that.

Tim:

  • "I didn't do anything."
  • "**** of, ****head."

It doesn't matter which you choose:

"I didn't do anything."

Allen: You callin' my girl a liar, tough guy? Let's see how tough you are after I'm done with you.

"**** of, ***head."

Allen: What was that?! Tough guy, let's see what you have to say after I'm done with you.

Then it goes to:

Looks like this dude won't go without a fight.

What do you want to do?

  • RUN FOR IT!
  • Fight!

If you don't have enough intelligence to make a successful RUN FOR IT, and if you don't have enough strength to fight then you are done for:

RUN FOR IT!

You decide to make a run for it. Fighting this loser isn't worth it.

You take Lia's hand and start running, but Allen easily catches up to you. What were you thinking?! This isn't like your Chinese cartoons where you can just take a girl's hand and expect to effectively run somewhere.

Maybe if you had more INTELLIGENCE, you would've done the correct thing when trying to run away. Instead, Allen pulverizes you and leaves you on the concrete blacked out. You don't know what happened to Lia, but you find out she transfers schools a few days later.

Since you ditched Ellie earlier to save Lia, she never speaks to you again.

Depressed, you give up on girls forever and spend the rest of your days a broken man. You turn 30 without knowing true love.

You're a wizard, Tim!

THE END

Fight!

Tim: Come at me, bro!

Allen takes a swing at you and the next thing you know, you're on the ground. He kicks you in the face, leaving you blacked out on the concrete. When you come to, Lia is nowhere to be found.

If only you were a bit STRONGER, this wouldn't have happened.

Lia doesn't come to class for the next few days and you later find out she transferred schools. You try to talk to Ellie, but she gives you the cold shoulder for ditching her at the fair.

Depressed, you give up on girls and start going to the gym hardcore every day. You get desperate to bulk up and start taking steroids, but when you finally get the courage to start pursuing girls again, your balls shrank too much from the roids to get anywhere.

The dreaded 30th birthday rolls around.

You're a wizard, Tim!

THE END

But if you do have enough intelligence to successfully RUN FOR IT, or enough strength to fight then:

RUN FOR IT!
Fight!

Tim: Come at me, bro!

You try to dodge his punch but are unable to. It doesn't matter though, since you take it like a champ and counter with your own swing. He goes down! The dude has a glass jaw? Who woulda thought. You make a run for it to catch up with Lia down the street. She's visibly shaken by the ordeal, so you take her home.

You are now outside some apartments:

Lia: Thank you for taking me home, Tim. W-would you like to come in?

Tim:

  • "Sure."
  • "It's getting late. I'd better go."

Here choose Sure.

"It's getting late. I'd better go."
"Sure."

Lia: No one has ever stood up for me like that before. You're the nicest guy I've ever met, Tim. I love the time we spend together... and even though I haven't known you very long, I feel I can trust and depend on you. Lately when I'm around you, I feel my heart beating like crazy.

Lia: Tim, ...will you be my side from now on... ?

Tim:

  • "Forever!"
  • "No thanks."

Here choose Forever to get the Lia ending.

"Forever!"

Lia ending

Congratulations! You've won Lia's heart!

With your help, Lia becomes a stronger, more confident person and learns to stand up for herself against Kim.

You settle the score with Allen who eventually wisens up to Kim's true nature.

You and Lia live happily ever after, and most importantly, you don't become a level 30 wizard!

THE END

"No thanks."

Ellie ending

So, you chose not to save Lia, meaning you won't get to see her ending. Instead you can go towards Ellie's ending (or possibly Vera's if you don't have enough charisma or intelligence).

It's none of my business. Better go pick up Ellie before she gets mad.

Ellie: Geez, you're late! Let's go, let's go!

The screen becomes a playpark:

Ellie: Waaah! How nostalgic!

Tim: ?

Ellie: When I was little, I used to play at a place like this near my house. He he, I always loved the swings...

Tim: Sounds nice.

Ellie: I wish I could go back. Life was so carefree back then, but the older you get the more worries start piling up.

Tim: So you didn't have much of an adolescence either?

Ellie: I just wish I could've done all the things other kids got to do. I mean, complaining about this seems silly and all, but I don't want to look back when I'm older and feel all these regrets.

Tim: Like I said, that's what we're trying to change now. But... were your parents really that strict?


Ellie

Ellie: They have high expectations of me. I'm an only child after all... don't I have the responsibility to make them proud?

Ellie: Heh, I remember when I was 9 my father insisted that I take tennis lessons. Grandma was a regional champion, so he probably wanted me to follow in her footsteps. But... I absolutely hated playing tennis! After the first couple of sessions I couldn't take any more and wanted to quit. I cried and cried, even going so far as to tell my father I hated him when he tried to stand his ground.

Ellie: Well, in the end I got my way... but I'll never forget that disappointed look in his eyes. Grandma had recently passed away, after all.

Ellie: I promised myself I would always try my best to make him proud from then on.

Tim:

  • "That was a long time ago! He has probably forgotten all about it."
  • "That doesn't mean you need to spend all your time studying."

Here the conversation continues in the same way no matter which you choose, so choose either.

Ellie: You're right... I might still be trying to make it up to him after all this time by studying to become a doctor.

Ellie; Anyway, I'm sorry you had to hear my pitiful sob story. Let's get going!

Screen changes to the fair.

The two of you get to the fair and spend the first couple of hours going on rides and playing games. Ellie seems to be having lots of fun.

Ellie: Yaaa! That was fun! Let's take a break, Tim.

Ellie: U-ummm...maybe we can talk for a bit?

Tim:

  • "Sure"
  • "I don't want to"

Choosing "Sure" will get you through.

"I don't want to"
"Sure"

Tim: ...

Ellie: ...

( Oh no, the dreaded awkward silence! I'm still not used to this. )

What do you want to do?

  • Strike up an intelligent conversation
  • Try to be funny

Here if you don't have enough charisma (to be funny) or intelligence (to be intelligent, obviously) then:

Strike up an intelligent conversation

You try to impress Ellie, but she realizes you're just a dimwit and seems a bit annoyed.

Try to be funny

Popping some jokes and some of that ol' humor totally backfired! You don't have enough charisma to pull it off. Ellie looks a bit annoyed...

But if you do have plenty of charisma to be funny, or if you do have plenty of intelligence to be intelligent then:

Strike up an intelligent conversation
Try to be funny

You tell some jokes and charm her with your humor. How'd you get so charismatic?!

Then, no matter your answer, the conversation goes to:

Ellie: Is there anything you want to know about me?

Tim:

  • "What's your major?"
  • "Do you have any siblings?"
  • "Any plans for the weekend?"

Well here you already know the answers to the top two questions so asking those will only annoy Ellie, so ask her what her plans are for the weekend:

"What's your major?"

Ellie: Didn't I tell you before that I was a Biology major? Have you been daydreaming every time I talk to you?

"Do you have any siblings?

Ellie: Didn't I tell you before that I was an only child? Have you been daydreaming every time I talk to you?

"Any plans for the weekend?"

Ellie: Well, it's my birthday on Sunday. M... maybe we can do something then too?

Tim: Of course.

Then:

The two of you finish up chatting and spend the rest of the day having a good time at the fair.

After the day at the fair, you spend the rest of the week thinking about Ellie's birthday. Before you know it, Sunday is here!

What should you and Ellie do for her birthday?

  • Play tennis
  • Go to the beach

Here Ellie has told you she hates tennis, so go there at your peril (and then tell me the results). Instead go to the beach:

Play tennis
Go to the beach

The two of you spend a nice day at the beach.

Ellie: Oh, Tim. You're so sweet. Thanks so much for taking me here!

Now, if you have the required charisma (or possibly intelligence) then you'll be on the right path to see Ellie's ending. Otherwise you'll be heading towards the final girl in the game, and on course to see the Vera ending.

So assuming you have the required charisma:

Ellie: Ummm... let's go back to my place, ok?

Tim:

  • "Okay."
  • "No thanks."

Choose okay to be transported into Ellie's living room:

"No thanks."
"Okay."

Ellie's ending

Ellie: Tim, I wanted to tell you I've really had fun this past week... it's all thanks to you. I really want to spend more time with you. I... I'm starting to fall for you...

Congratulations! You've won Ellie's heart!

Bit by bit, the both of you start becoming more outgoing after having all sorts of fun experiences together. As the two of you tread forward in life hand in hand, the future is bright.

Ellie excels in her studies and fulfils her dream of becoming a doctor. As for you, the only thing that matters is that you don't become a level 30 wizard! Hooray!

THE END

Vera ending

So you failed with Lia because you let her get picked on by Kim, and you failed to get with Ellie too because you didn't have charisma. You are quite the catch. Let's continue from where we left off with Ellie:

After Ellie's birthday you guys end up hanging out a couple more times, but she doesn't seem as into you as before... as if she suddenly lost interest. I guess you failed to charm her during these first couple of encounters. Maybe said something wrong or chose to do the wrong things?! Oh well, back to square one...

Several years pass...

( So here I am, 27 years old and I haven't gotten anywhere. It's pretty much the point of no return for me. I mean how do you expect any woman to want anything to do with some loser in his late twenties who has never been in a relationship? What went wrong? I mean, I remember at the beginning of college I was pretty enthusiast about turning a new leaf. I even talked to a couple of girls... what were their names? Emily and Lily? )

( Anyway, I might as well go for one last hurrah. If I fail this time, it's over. Time to go balls out and fire up that fake confidence... )

You show up for the first day of work and are instructed to head up to the 4th floor.

( This building is pretty big. Hopefully there are some attractive ladies working here... or will they all be old and married? I should work hard and get promoted to make the big bucks! Then getting dates will be ez mode, right? Sigh... I can only dream. )

The elevator door opens.

A beautiful woman steps in.

Tim: Bazongas...

Woman: Excuse me?

Tim: U-uh...

What do you want to do?

  • Introduce yourself.
  • Compliment her body.

To get to the ending introduce yourself:

Compliment her body
Introduce yourself

Tim: Nothing! I was just spacing out, sorry. I'm Tim. It's my first day here.

Woman: Oh, my name is Vera. Nice to meet you.


Bazongas

( Ah... and so it begins. The last effort of a desperate dimwit in the pursuit of love. )

Tim: I'll be working in the finance department.

Vera: I see. Who's your manager?

The elevator stops at the 3rd floor.

Vera: Sorry, I have to get off here. Maybe we can continue this conversation later. See you around, Tim.

Tim: Sure... bye.

( That went well, I guess? )

After taking care of all the first day of paperwork, you get settled and start on your first assignment.

( Man, no cubicles? How am I supposed to surf the web while I'm working? Pshh, guess I can't screw around here. )

Lunch rolls by...

( Guess I'll try to find a place nearby the office to get food. )

Vera: Hello again. Heading out for lunch?

Tim: Yeah.

Tim:

  • "Know any good places to eat around here?"
  • "Would you like to join me?"

Here invite her out (and in doing so answer the final multi-choice question of the game):

"Know any good places to eat around here?"
"Would you like to join me?"

Vera: Sure! Do you have a place in mind?

Tim: Not really, I'm not familiar with this area, so...

Vera: I know a place nearby. It's my favourite.

Tim: Wow, what a nice view.

Vera: I know right?

Vera: To be honest, I haven't been here with other people much lately. I usually come here alone.

Tim: Why is that?

Vera: I didn't get to tell you last time, but I'm a sales manager, so...

Tim: Wow! That's really impressive.

Vera: Right... I feel I worked hard and earned this position, but it seems I'm all alone now.

Tim: What do you mean?

Vera: I wanted to get to the top so people would respect me, but now most people are just intimidated by me. The only people who want to be around me all act fake and phony. I'd rather not have anything to do with them whenever possible.

Tim: So... how did you know I wouldn't be the same?

Vera: He he, I don't. I'm just tired of being lonely. You've passed the test so far.

Tim: Uh... thanks. I'm glad.

The two of you have a nice lunch. Aww, time to go back to work.

( Arrghh... finally the day is over. How am I supposed to endure this for the rest of my life?! People say to find a job that you love so you never have to work a day in your life, but isn't that just a load of ****? After some point, the job just becomes a job again, and you'll inevitably end up moaning and groaning on Sundays like everyone else. )

Vera: Whatcha thinking about, Tim?

Tim: Retirement...

Vera: Huh?

Tim: Eh?? Nevermind! Where did you come from?

Vera: Hehe, I finally found you. I was thinking you wanted to go get some drinks.

Tim: Sure.

( Like I have anything else to do. Wait a minute, she's asking ME to go get some drinks? Is this real life? )

Vera: It's good to unwind like this after a hard day, isn't it?

Tim: Do you do this all the time?

Vera: Noooo, you're the first! I'd never go with those punks back at the office.

( I feel like I'm being used here... )

Tim: Anyway, how are you so driven?

Vera: What do you mean?

Tim: I mean, you're a manager right? How do you even do that at your age?

Vera: Oh that...well, back when I was in high school I've always felt like those overachievers who got straight A's and studied all day were looking down on me... like they thought they were better. I developed a huge chip on my shoulder and started trying to compete with them.

Vera: Though in the end I pretty much became one of them huh... ? I wanted to make a lot of money so I would be the one looking down. Sounds horrible right?

Tim: ...

Vera: I ended up isolating myself from everyone...

Vera: It only got worse when I started working. Everywhere I looked people were hired through "connections". Screw that! I wanted to get interviews on my own. Get hired on my own. Work my way up on my own! Because of my merits... not because I knew someone.

Tim: S-sure... that's just how it is though.

Vera: Yeah...

Vera: I feel better now though... with you.

Tim: Huh? Are you drunk already?


Vera ending

Vera: S-say... would you like to go back to my place?

Tim; That's fine with me.

Vera: You're not like those other pricks, Tim.

( How can you tell? )

Vera: I can just... tell.

( ... )

Vera: Anyway, please have a seat. I'll be right back.

( Whoa, I've just met this chick and she already invited me over. Maybe I'm just THAT charming. Pfft, yeah right. Is she one of them crazies who'll cut off my balls in my sleep? Or I guess she really was desperate to find someone she felt some kind of connection to... )

( Oh well, no use thinking about it. Beggars can't be choosers. )

Vera: Tim...

Tim: Bazongas...!!

Well it wasn't pretty, but congratulations. You somehow won Vera's affection after the first day of meeting her. What... were you expecting some kind of beautiful and intricate love story like the ones you find in visual novels?! Kappa

Naw... this was just a case of two lonely people trying to fulfil their needs through each other. At least you won't turn into a wizard!

THE END

And that's the game, which I got a sore wrist from (from all the writing for this guide of course).

The Tim Roast Appreciation Society

I make these guides for free in my spare time. I hope this guide was useful to you. Please feel free to ask questions or leave me feedback (tjr10 [at] hotmail . co . uk). You can even DONATE me money via PayPal to this email address if this guide was particularly useful to you. This will aid me to write future guides. Thanks.

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