Review by the_quickness

"Frustration Factor: Very High"

The game has some kind of storyline, but it's probably ripped off an episode of Inuyasha, so there's no point really going into it here. Gray-haired half-demon fights demons, tries to save the world, blah blah blah. The main guy has a sort of "Bionic Commando" thing going on. Sometimes I just wonder if this game is just an advertisement for other Capcom games. There's a bit of Soul Calibur there, visually speaking, and way too much of Resident Evil's backtracking and "you don't have the thing yet so you can't go here right now" going on.

You're not going to care about any of these characters. You're just not. There's nothing likeable about them and they have zero personality. There's no point remembering any of their names because there's nothing about them worth remembering.

It seems like the world itself is sort of confused. There are vehicles and technology but for some reason people seem to prefer to fight with bladed weapons and travel on foot as much as possible. The setting seems to try to blend the present day/future with the dark ages, and that makes about as much sense as the rest of the game, which is to say, not much.

The fighting is sort of counterintuitive and rewards calculated risk. The more range your attacks have, the less damage they do. Your pistol is almost useless, the sword never does as much damage as you wish it would, and the only way to really win is to grab and beat things down with your hands. Just like in... nowhere, ever. The fighting part of the game tries to base itself on this system of combos and points, but I feel like that makes the game fall even flatter. All this trying to save the world stuff gets put on hold even more because you're trying to change up how you fight the enemies and do a dance just so, all so you can get a better grade at the game. You can taunt the enemy, which is stupid, but doing so gives you a potentially better grade. I remember a time when video games were a diversion from homework, not, you know, more homework.

There's one section of the game called "The Torture Chamber", and I thought maybe, with the design motif, that there was some kind of background as to how people in this little world were tortured there once upon a time, but I soon realized that I, the player, was the one to be tortured. You have to do these timed jump-grab things, and the ceiling has spikes on it for some reason, like, some architect thought that would be a great addition, metal ceiling spikes, yeah! If you mess up your jumping and grabbing, or if you hit the ceiling spikes, you fall down and have to do this fight with the game's generic blob monsters over and over again. You're guaranteed to fall down at least 30 times and have to do the stupid fight sequence over and over again. So if you're into masochism, this game may be for you.

Even if you make it past all that, there's one thing that might gnaw away at you. "What's the point? Why am I doing any of this? Why do I care?" I realized, at some point, that I don't. The game couldn't make me care enough about it to consider finishing it.

I'll probably re-gift it to someone I don't like. Maybe that's the real point of this game after all.


Reviewer's Score: 2/10 | Originally Posted: 04/22/13

Game Release: Devil May Cry 4 (US, 02/05/08)


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