Review by Blk_Mage_Ctype

"Do you like mini games, dress up, busty Kunoichi, and bukkake innuendo?"

Have you ever wondered what kind of intense training Shinobi undergo in order to become the world's most deadly assassins? What training exercises do they employ that grants them their lightning quick reflexes, gravity-defying feats of agility, and deadly accuracy? Well, if Ninja Chop is an accurate interpretation of a Ninja's daily regimen, then all one needs to do in order to become a deadly assassin is smash milk bottles all day long! And when you think about it, it all makes perfect sense! Milk is an excellent source of Vitamin D, and has always been touted as a highly nutritious beverage that makes you stronger and healthier if you drink it, right? So it stands to reason that Dousing ones self in milk all day long would beget super-human strength!

All joking aside, Ninja Chop is an Indy game on Xbox Live in which the player takes control of a busty, young Kunoichi in training who's daily training consists mainly of smashing milk bottles with Karate Chops. The gameplay is identical to that of the job mini games in Fable II, an Arc-shaped gauge appears over the Kunochi's head, within the arc there is a slim green line and a blue dot that passes back and forth inside the arc from one end to the next. Your job is to hit the A or X Button as the blue dot passes over the green line. Doing so will cause your Kunoichi to cleave the bottles in half with a Karate Chop, thus Dousing herself with milk. For each successive chop, the player is awarded with points that fill a small gauge in the bottom left corner of the screen. When the gauge fills, the player's level increases, and the game speeds up. In addition, as the player levels up, you gain new clothing for your Kunoichi, which can be accessed at any time by hitting the B or Y Button on the control pad. Clothing choices include the default Ninja Suit, a bright red China Dress, School Girl Uniform, a Nurse's Outfit, and a Maid dress all of which fit the player's Kunoichi rather snugly, and show off her voluptuous figure. You can also mix & match pieces of these outfits.

If it hasn't already dawned on you by now, this game is really all about cheap Fanservice, which the game is full of. The gameplay is simple, shallow, and repetitive, but it at least succeeds at what it's trying to be. (Hence the 5/10 score) You get to dress up a busty young Asian woman in fetishy wardrobe, and have her bust open bottles of milk, soaking her voluptuous body until your heart's content. Oh, did I mention that you can rotate and zoom in the camera to view your Kunoichi from any angle, and the milk that she gets covered in is strangely thick and hangs off her body like it's molasses? (...Yeah)

In closing, all this game is really good for is brief amusement, (I myself only bought it for a laugh) and for only 240 Microsoft Points, it's at least worth that. However, I recommend that you download the demo before you actually pay the 240 Points for the game, because it's likely your amusement will run out by the time you've finished the demo.


Reviewer's Score: 5/10 | Originally Posted: 11/22/10, Updated 11/24/10

Game Release: Ninja Chop!! (US, 03/11/10)


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