TIL the U.S. government maintains a list dad jokes

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User Info: DontInterruptMe

DontInterruptMe
3 months ago#1
https://www.fatherhood.gov/dad-jokes

As part of an ongoing campaign to encourage responsible and involved paternity, DHHS is attempting to harness the awesome power of groaners. Some of these are pretty good IMO.

User Info: HeyDude

HeyDude
3 months ago#2
The muffin joke is one of my all time favorites.

User Info: Kylo Force

Kylo Force
3 months ago#3
Muffin one is definitely a classic.
"Sa taong walang takot, walang mataas na bakod."
"To those without fear, there is no such thing as a tall fence." - Filipino Proverb

User Info: willis5225

willis5225
3 months ago#4
That muffin one is AA tier.

Can't help but notice it's missing Jewish dad jokes, to represent the power of diversity. I mean, come on, the Jews did a lot for this country. The bagel, the theater. You know, Abraham Lincoln was Jewish.

Yeah, he was shot in the temple.
Willis, it seems like every other time you post, I need to look up a word that's in the OED or Urban Dictionary but not both.
-Mimir

User Info: Jacehan

Jacehan
3 months ago#5
Or "What kind of bagel can fly?"

"A plane bagel."
"To truly live, one must first be born." ~ Evan [aX]
Paper Mario Social:
The Safe Haven of GameFAQs. (Board 2000083)

User Info: Kylo Force

Kylo Force
3 months ago#6
I don't know if it counts as a dad joke but one of my favorites is this (relatively) long story:

"So there's this duck, and it walks into a grocery store. The duck goes over to the manager, and he's like, 'Hey man, do you have any gwapes?'

And the manager's like, 'No, we don't have any gwapes, get out of here.' So the duck leaves.

On the next day, the duck goes back to the store and he finds the manager again and he's like, 'Hey man, do you have any gwapes?'

And the managers like, 'No, we don't have any gwapes, get out of here!'

On the next day, the duck goes back to the store and says to the manager, 'Hey, do you have any gwapes?'

The manager loses it and yells, 'No, we don't have any gwapes, and if you come back in here and ask for gwapes again, I'm going to staple your feet to the floor!'

So on the next day, the duck comes back to the store and finds the manager. He says, 'Hey man, you got any staples?'

The manager looks him up and down. 'No.'

'Got any gwapes?'"

And for the longest time I thought the first time I heard it was on a 7-11 commercial, but looking it up several years later, it was actually a commercial for Winterfresh gum.
"Sa taong walang takot, walang mataas na bakod."
"To those without fear, there is no such thing as a tall fence." - Filipino Proverb

User Info: willis5225

willis5225
3 months ago#7
Did you buy the gum?
Willis, it seems like every other time you post, I need to look up a word that's in the OED or Urban Dictionary but not both.
-Mimir

User Info: Kylo Force

Kylo Force
3 months ago#8
I didn't, but only because I was mistaken that it was 7-11 for such a long time.
"Sa taong walang takot, walang mataas na bakod."
"To those without fear, there is no such thing as a tall fence." - Filipino Proverb
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