Thanksgiving Twists

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User Info: Kylo Force

Kylo Force
3 weeks ago#1
(Apologies to our non-American PMSians, since I'm specifically referring to American Thanksgiving here)

I ran into my dad the other day while shopping and he said that instead of having Thanksgiving dinner with the family at one of our relatives' place, we're going to have Thanksgiving lunch at a casino buffet because nobody wanted to host.

I'm a bit weirded out by this decision but it sort of makes sense, even if it's also sort of a shame. My sister lives/works in Hawaii and isn't coming home for Thanksgiving either, so it almost makes sense to do things more abbreviated, but I'd be lying if I said this also wasn't sort of a bummer.

I wanted to ask, were there any weird twists in your Thanksgivings past that weirded you out or otherwise? The only other one I can think of, and this happened several years ago (I think I was still in college or even still in high school) is that one year, the family decided to skip turkey and make all Filipino and Asian food for Thanksgiving dinner and my sister and a couple of our other relatives got sort of irritated about it, so up to now (except for this year, I guess) we've always gotten turkey as part of the deal.
"Sa taong walang takot, walang mataas na bakod."
"To those without fear, there is no such thing as a tall fence." - Filipino Proverb

User Info: HeyDude

HeyDude
3 weeks ago#2
I haven't had any twists, but I think a nice twist would be if everybody was a little quieter lol. Holidays stress me out.

User Info: BUM

BUM
3 weeks ago#3
I think you're right to feel weirded out. It's too bad. Are you sure that you yourself can't host? If you can, you should. That'd be truly noble. But perhaps you don't have the facilities or space?

Part of good manners is being willing to take the hit for something that's worth it. I believe that the whole family getting together and having a meal is worth it. I think that when you start to change a good tradition, there's some danger lurking nearby.

For example: one man I know says, "cards are dumb and they cost money, and no one really cares that much about them, so I don't get people cards for their birthday." But there is a value in the time-honored tradition of card-giving, and the fact that there are vampires out there ready to push the market in order to make a buck, is not a sufficient argument against the value of a card.

There is something fundamentally reassuring in a card, trustworthy, familiar... yes, you can be obscene or gross about your cards, but that's another side of bad manners... It's a familiar institution that, when it is suddenly stripped away, does, in my belief, make us something less for it, even if we don't recognize it.

I'd say that's what's at stake here: because no one is willing to host, they're taking a day which, due to its very parameters and exigencies, transcends their own life situations, and stripping it down to something that's streamlined into convenience. What good can come from that?

Good family and good friends and good values, these are things that take effort, and build character. I really mean it, when I say that there is something even heroic about it. In conclusion, I reaffirm that you are quite right about being uncomfortable with this Thanksgiving event. Adding insult to injury is the fact that it's at a casino.
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User Info: BUM

BUM
3 weeks ago#4
Sorry. I know that sometimes when I see something, I answer very strongly without actually looking for a dialogue. Obviously my concern is not just limited to Thanksgiving, that such a mustering should take place-- but it is with a cultural trend in general, and one which did great damage to my own family. I deeply regret it and even with my efforts to heal the distance in my family and failure in relationships, I find it hard to overcome my own personal barriers, let alone anyone else's. And this event which is befalling you, I identify as merely another manifestation of the same spirit.

Anyway. What do you think? You said you are uncomfortable. Do you think it's a problem, or to you, is it something that's changeable, even in a big way? Maybe you think it's something no one is happy about but there are circumstances outside of their control such that no one can remedy it by volunteering?
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User Info: Kylo Force

Kylo Force
3 weeks ago#5
I don't necessarily see it as a really big deal. It was just more of a surprise that we weren't going to do it. My family's always been sort of "nontraditionally American" for the holiday season (whatever that means) after being really gung ho about it for the beginning of our family's time here. A few examples:

- I can't recall our family having a Christmas tree any time after I got out of middle school
- My family only nominally puts up Christmas lights so that our house doesn't stick out in the neighborhood

I think it's just the natural progression of, first you do things like you think everyone else is doing, and over time you adapt it to make it work for you. In this case, Thanksgiving dinners were great, but everyone's getting older and it's getting more difficult to host, so you adjust the plan. It's really just me that has to adjust.

And besides, I had a really great "Friendsgiving" with friends last weekend and am doing a second one with a different group of friends this coming weekend, and we do turkey and all of that other stuff there. Friends that become family fill in the gaps that family don't always provide.
"Sa taong walang takot, walang mataas na bakod."
"To those without fear, there is no such thing as a tall fence." - Filipino Proverb

User Info: BUM

BUM
3 weeks ago#6
Yes, I understand. You add a dimension I hadn't thought of, namely that your family doesn't have a history of Thanksgiving, but really have just done it as part of living in the States. It is not so rooted a reality.

I still would argue that making things "work for ourselves" is a downward sliding habit, not one that really tends upwards. We are lazy and need to invest effort in order to mount beyond that. Although again, I don't think this is really the sort of effort that makes the most sense for your family. But that natural progression, so to speak, is the same thing behind every dropped effort, and we run the risk to ultimately wind up with just ourselves.

Again, I do not say that relaxing effort in one area leads ineluctably to alienation and isolation. I am more interested in fighting the war than this or that particular battle.

Also I do think that family can't quite be replaced by friends, due to its special nature. We gain friends and lose them. We are in college, think our friends are the best thing ever, and years later there is no communication with most of them. We may not like our family as much, but they are family, and they are always there. It is as though they were attached to us from birth, a condition of our lives that is unchangeable and unique. Family has different meaning that friends.

These are just my musings.
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User Info: Jacehan

Jacehan
2 weeks ago#7
My brother and his wife didn't come to Thanksgiving this year. Found out he's been having some sort of issue with my sister that he didn't mention to her until two weeks ago. It's all very confusing.
"To truly live, one must first be born." ~ Evan [aX]
Paper Mario Social:
The Safe Haven of GameFAQs. (Board 2000083)

User Info: BUM

BUM
2 weeks ago#8
Man. That's pretty sad. Family troubles are an ill thing... (we've got plenty of them over here, too, including my cousins who are siblings and haven't been talking for a couple years)

I'll keep your family in my prayers. The world certainly needs a lot of healing.
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User Info: willis5225

willis5225
1 week ago#9
I haven't spoken to my brother since the election I'm pretty sure! They did not come up for Thanksgiving, but that has been a recent thing they were doing anyway.
Willis, it seems like every other time you post, I need to look up a word that's in the OED or Urban Dictionary but not both.
-Mimir
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