An old KLS fan finally introducing himself to this wonderful community

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User Info: Hikaru-Mamoru

Hikaru-Mamoru
2 years ago#1
I played the VN to completion about 5 years ago, but the memories are still clear as in my mind as a
cloudless sky. Every time I play most of the tracks of the game, but specially A Melancholy Reason,
I instantly start to tear up.

The first path I played was the one to Ending 5. I like most of the players here, I felt at the time that the most appropriate choices, considering Kana's early personality, were to foster her bookworm side, specially since I ,IRL , am a huge bookworm too so it resonated with me. Gosh that ending, just from remembering Kana's diary...

Then clearly remember I got Ending 2, since I wanted to see how things would go if I gave her a
more normal childhood. Then I think I got Ending 4, which I agree you people like Z3ro that it feels
incomplete in comparison with other Intellectual endings... then it was time for Ending 3 and 6, which prefer ending 5 than the latter of the two and then... finally Ending 1...

God was I crushed by the bittersweetness... I was happier for that for a moment and what happened in the end saddened me immensenly.

So I search for closure and I thankfully found Z3ro's Kana Flash Fanfic page. Given the note that it was based on a story from Darkling, I went over to Kana LIttle Fanfics. I read all of them. My sister, my strength, New blooms... I even didn't heed the warning and read Blinding White, which given was indeed more bittersweet, but I was still glad I did, for they were all an amazing calm to
my suffering heart. Then I played Kana Flash Fanfic, and a then bit later Kana: Eternity since I had detached myself from the My sister, my strength timeline.

So thank you guys, Z3ro, Darkling and JPop, with all my whole again heart, for providing with such
wonderful closure and heartmelting moments like those I spend on KLS. Thank you all so very much!

User Info: TheRealZ3ro

TheRealZ3ro
2 years ago#2
Thanks, Hikaru-Mamoru. I'm glad you were able to find closure with the fanfics, like many others have. Over the years, I've come to back to this game multiple times, and while it'll never be the same as the first, it still has an effect on me. Whenever I have my iPod set to shuffle and one of the tracks comes on, it always stirs up those old feelings.

It's great when a new face shows up, even after all these years have passed. I'm pretty much no longer active when it comes to KLS since I have other things going on in my life now, but I do like to pop in from time to time. I also don't update my site anymore, but I do still pay my hosting service each year to keep it online, and I will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.
[] Kana: Fanfic Flash & Kana: Eternity [] --- http://www.the-z-projects.com/
[] My YouTube Channel [] --- http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRealZ3ro

User Info: Hikaru-Mamoru

Hikaru-Mamoru
2 years ago#3
You're welcome Z3ro. What you guys did with those stories seems to have been a second life changer (the first being KLS of course) to many people, as can be exemplified from many of the topics on this very board. So you, your brother and Darkling truly deserve such praise.

I am also glad that you happened to pop back in right when I posted this topic. Lucky me! I think I have seen your channel on youtube and the comments on your vids that you are no longer that active in the community before. I hope that I can catch at least a few of those revisits to the Board now that I am actually present here.

And I, like you, have come back many times to both the VN and the 'fics. Each time was a different experience. My first reactions to the events, specially things like The First Farewell, were of course
purely emotional at the time. I most certainly did fall into the same glass half-full, either/or mentality
as Darkling at first.

(Spoilers after this point. I can't figure out how to use the spoiler tags. Sorry )

I felt utterly crushed, that even though I could save her this time around I...
couldn't be with her. I thought that either I had to be with her forever with her or I would never be with her.

But then came things like reading My sister, My strenght and playing KLS again and again and also lurking around this very board, and I could finally see the ambiguity that was meant to be there. That maybe there was hope, hope they, Taka( and thus in a way... me) and Kana could be together in the future.

And finally, that maybe the way the True Ending concluded things was the best way that it could have been. That they couldn't live in the shadow of such a complicated romantic relationship, that their love would still be there even if it could no longer be physical. That the separation was a mutual and loving decision that was, in their heart of hearts, the best one that could be possibly made.

The realization came that I had managed it. I had lovingly raised her, had given her a mostly normal
childhood, that I had managed to save her life this time around after suffering throught her death
several times over. And that I raised her to be this strong, to able to succeed in the world, and her act was necessary, that it was in the end everything I could ever hope for her. And thus
my crushing losses became my outermost triumph.

I simultaneously hold these conflicting realities in my soul even today . my personal true ending, Memories, the result of my first natural decision. The alternative universes of the Kana: Little Fanfics and Kana:Eternity, the closure I first search for, the healing process to my suffering heart.
And The First Farewell, the representation of my triumphs. I can't ever consider any of them just a step towards to next conclusion. I hold them all dear in my heart.

(End of spoilers)

Today I had a tremendously powerful and liberating experience. I was in school, during my interval, when the KLS tracks suddenly came to my mind.

This gradually led to the first time I told someone about KLS that didn't know about VNs. Everything about it, unabashedly. The beautiful sadness of it, the impact it had on my life, both emotional and cultural.

A couple of years before I ever knew about Kana, someone in my family was struggling with a heart disease. They were nearly the point of a coronary heart failure. It was a case for open heart surgery.

So even before KLS, I had a brush with a possible fatal disease in someone I loved dearly. The game just resonated with me naturally , which I would only realize later.

Then earlier this year, I both suffered a heavy loss in my family and saw a dear old childhood friend be hospitalised with an also possibly fatal disease.

User Info: Hikaru-Mamoru

Hikaru-Mamoru
2 years ago#4
(continued from last post)

So of course, in addition to the immense pain and sadness I was already in, flashbacks came to me. To the time I spent with Sumako and little Cana, and again of course of that particular loss, and to time I spent fighting for Kana's life. But some how, that didn't make it worse, that made it better. KLS is truly a life changing experience, and I knew that I could get through this once more...


Kana also had other impacts on me. I was already a bookworm by the time I started the VN, as can be
evidenced by the choices that lead me to the Intellectual endings path on my first playthrought. But I guess that I could say that aspect of me became more accentuated after KLS.

It was also the time I took real interest in animes and mangas, and of course, it was my first visual
novel as well. Since I have played a few others. Clannad, Katawa Shoujo, Princess Waltz, Fate/Stay night...

Kana is also most likely the reason why one of favorite kind of stories in any medium is the 'guy suddenly has take care of a child' type Slice-of-life anime/manga. I can well resonate with that. After all, I practically raised Kana alone, didn't I? Taka and Kana's parent are so far back in the background that any decision I make impacts her immensely, after all.

Oh and finally, I also read Kana:Welcome Home!, The Second Farewell (Thank you for that, Cizzymac, if you are still around) and Kana: Tadaima. I still have to read Looking for Kana's eyes though. And it's here that I have to wonder, is there really anymore stories after that? I have known for a long time that places like The White Season and Wolfson's Den have long since been dead. But is even The Anime Place's Fanfiction Board gone now as well?

User Info: Darkling183

Darkling183
2 years ago#5
Hi Hikaru,

I still visit the GameFAQs board now and then as well, out of nostalgia, even though it's not very active anymore. Thanks for sharing all your thoughts and insights into the game, especially how it touches so deeply on how it feels to lose someone, and how playing the game can change the way we look at that experience (and at life in general).

I felt much the same as you when I first played the game. I was so invested in Kana that she became a part of me, not just Taka - I wanted her to grow up intelligent and knowledgeable, so she could make the most of her limited possibilities. And, in the process, I fell in love with her as much as Taka did. So when the game was over and there were no more endings to pursue, I fell into a state of mourning. It was as if someone in my life actually had died and left an emptiness in my heart, which was why I felt compelled to extend her life, so to speak, just so I could spend more time with her.

It's been a while now since I last played KLS, and I've made my peace with the ambiguity of Ending 1. Ending 5 is still my favourite, though; I feel that while Ending 6 provides more closure to some of the other characters, the most important thing to me was Taka finding the strength within himself to move forward with life (with the help of Kana's diary). That, to me, is the core message of the game - always making the most of what time you have. The Ending 6 material (though pleasant) was just window dressing to me.

The Anime Place is gone now, unfortunately, though 'Looking for Kana's Eyes' was probably the only successful collaborative fanfic that came from there. Wolfson's stories (though not directly related to KLS, as I'm sure you're aware) have been preserved and can be read here:

http://wolfson.darklingnet.com

User Info: Hikaru-Mamoru

Hikaru-Mamoru
2 years ago#6
Hi Darkling, Nice to meet you. I am glad you guys still come by occasionally. I really wanted to meet you all and thank you. I hope you and Z3ro pop a few time still so that I can further discuss my experiences with you. Now only if JPop would show up...

Well, I felt I had to finally come out and share it. I had lurked long enough around here, and it seems to me that one of the best parts of experiencing Kana is to share that journey with fellow fans. There are really amazing stories involving it, here most notably.

I have also not played KLS in along time, not since I had my sort of Ending 1 epiphany. But like the rest of us, I am forever bonded to Kana. She is eternally my surrogate little sister. And how could I
ever not love her? How could I ever not want to protect someone so helpless and precious? She is
,despite her situation, one of the kindest, most compassionate, nicest, sweetest, humblest, strongest (dammit there not enough adjectives to properly describe her!) people I will ever meet.
To lose someone that like this, that I love so very, very much, either to death or (so I thought at first) even worse, even in life...

That attachment was what caused me to react so badly when I first reached The First Farewell, but I have since come to peace with that pain. Like I said, Memories forever has a special place within my heart, and I consider it my favorite along the First Ending. I also do prefer the former to Live Now. I think it is probably true that Taka and Kana are more emotionally healthy in the Intellectual paths, that the strength Kana gains in coming to terms with her mortality and resolving to spend the time she has left meaningfully, and the strength that Taka gains alongside her, both while she is still alive and after her death, are important and beautiful messages. So yeah, Ending 5 and Kana's diary where enough for me in regard to those particular two endings.

But oh gosh, Kana's diary... just from thinking
about it... " Today, I saw the ocean. I am not longer afraid. " just from thinking about it, I start to tear up.

Whenever I hear either version of For You, Thank You, A Melancholy Reason or She is Weeping Sadly, upon listening to the first notes I immediately start to cry.

Well, I was not much aware to what Wolfson's stories actually were, to be honest. I just knew that I
saw the link and description mentioning on Z3ro's website and that it was no longer active by the time I saw it since the link was crossed out. But well, anything remotely involving Kana will make me happy.

I am glad that Looking for Kana's Eyes got preserved then. I still have not gotten to it, but from the summary it looks good. Then really there are no more stories after after I have read it and the ones in the link. (thanks for that BTW) That makes me feel kinda sad, like finishing the VN completely and seeing there was nothing left all over again.

At least even if there are very few Kana stories out there, they all seem to be pretty good.

Also, is anyone else saddened by the fact the only available Let's Play of KLS out there is an incomplete one where the girl playing it was just bashing it for the most part? It started affect her a bit when she got to Sumako, but she INEXPLICABLY never warmed up to Kana herself. It is a real pity. I for one would have loved to see each and every step of someone being affected by her like the rest of us.

I want to contribute in some way to the KLS community. I really want to write a story to capture my
experience with Kana and the VN. But in the meantime, I most just want to write a full-fledged work page for Kana on Tv Tropes and or All the Tropes Wiki to attract more people to us, since the ones we have right now are mostly just stubs.

User Info: Darkling183

Darkling183
2 years ago#7
I agree completely that one of the most compelling things about Kana (to me) is how sweet and kind a person she is, despite the depressing nature of her existence in the hospital. I've seen any number of other stories (anime or manga) where a character forced to live in a hospital becomes bitter or withdrawn, but (and I guess this is the point of the game's storyline) Taka keeps that from happening to Kana. He brings her hope; he's her connection to the real world; he provides the promise that she can be cared about, and even loved.

One of my favourite things about the game is watching as Kana develops and changes due to Taka's influence. Like you, I think Taka and Kana are mentally and emotionally stronger in the intellectual endings - it can't be a coincidence that Ending 3 only happens on the 'normal' path. The scene where Kana is crying on the floor of her hospital room, unable to understand what's happening to her body, is particularly affecting to me. I would never want Kana to go through that pain, even though making her smart enough to understand what's happening to her also makes her philosophical enough to accept the inevitability of it. The game doesn't offer the player any easy choices.

Wolfson's stories take characters from different bishoujo games (initially KLS and Casual Romance Club) and put them in a medieval fantasy setting with a light (sometimes comical) and adventurous tone.

Looking for Kana's Eyes isn't a story that's really meant to be taken seriously. JPop and I were just making it up as we went along, taking turns writing the next bit. We had a lot of fun doing it, though. =)

A while back, another KLS fan called Bookworm and I translated a Japanese fancomic (well, he did the translation and I helped with the scripting), which can be found here:

http://kana.darklingnet.com/doujin/

I think I can probably count the number of female KLS fans I've met on the fingers of one hand. It's a game that (quite naturally) appeals to male gamers more than female. So I'm surprised that the only LP on YouTube is by a female. (I wasn't even aware there was a KLS Let's Play out there.) I'll have to check it out some time, even if it's not a shining example of someone being won over by the game.

User Info: NeutralDrow

NeutralDrow
2 years ago#8
Welcome! I'm pretty much always around here, but mainly for maintenance purposes. I don't always have much to say.

In fact, that's the weird thing. Talking with other fans always makes me a little uncomfortable for vague reasons. I internalized the game and the relationship with Kana so much that when points of contention come up, it feels oddly wrong to be detached. For instance, I think I'm the only one I've spoken to who had an unambiguously positive reaction to Ending 1 (essentially the same as your eventual realization, but that instead was my starting point).

There's just this combination of "I felt this way," "they felt this other way," and "should I be talking about my sister like this?" that leads to an odd soup of cognitive dissonance whenever talking about Kana herself.

And yet...

But like the rest of us, I am forever bonded to Kana. She is eternally my surrogate little sister.

I would not be able to express this to any other group, let alone do so and be understood.

I wouldn't necessarily be able to bring up the mental images conjured by the music, or the lingering heartache, or even how Kana was so much the center of the game and just how I related to her (like you said, " I practically raised Kana alone, didn't I?"). Or that I can't even call this one of my "favorite" games, because it just seems to exist apart from that consideration.

So ultimately...my thanks to you guys.

EDIT: Oh, and if you want to do spoiler tags in the future? It's basically a normal HTML tag, but as <"spoiler"><"/spoiler"> (no quotes). There's an option to automatically create the tag in the "Post Message" section, but I don't know if that's GameFAQs' own system, or GameFox's.
"Oh man, we're in trouble!"
"Don't worry. The worst that can happen is we all die."

User Info: Hikaru-Mamoru

Hikaru-Mamoru
2 years ago#9
I guess that an attitude like hers would be refreshing in relation to characters that were like you described, though I have to admit that I don't think I have encountered any of them myself.

I also think the opposite is equally true. Because Kana was so kind and sweet to him while he was
in hospital, despite how horrible he treated her in the beginning of the trip, Taka is able to change
and become the loving and caring older she needs him to be.

The two are very important for one another. Without that change, it's likely that she never would lived past the ' she won't live to graduate elementary school' deadlin. And even if she did, what you wrote in chapter 7 of My sister, my strength is a most likely and haunting possibility

Yeah, each of the two main routes has its own double-edge sword. In the normal path, the choices
we make give Kana a desperate will to live that ultimately allows her to saved in Ending 1, but as the recordings in Recollections tragically shows, she was painfully ignorant of what was happening
to her and suffer much for it. In the Intellectual one, she is able to reconcile with her mortality and faces her death with grace and dignity, but until she is able to work through that she also suffers very much and at an earlier age at that.

Huh, that's rather interesting premise in Wolfson's stories. Does one need much knowledge of the other characters that appear in them though

I am sure the fun you guys had working on Looking for Kana's Eyes shows through it. Not very Kana fanfic needs to be dramatic serious like the Blinding White, after all.

That doujin is a nice retelling of Ending 2. But wait, isn't that the same girl who has a bunch of those in her Youtube channel

Well, regarding the LP, in retrospective, her perspective on the game should be obvious from the
snarky video descriptions. In the beginning when I saw them I thought 'well, I don't think any one of us liked Taka very much at first ' but then she gets past the scenes in the hospital and that attitude continues. And I can never reconcile her reactions to Kana. When Taka compares Kana to Sumako, she says, and I quote '' No they are not. Kana is boring as h*** " . Yeah.

The videos are pretty easy to find on Youtube, since there are 20 of them and they all appear immediately on the search results. But in any case, here is the link to the first part:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUfXBT2mwjc

Another Let's Play of KLS is listed on the Lp archive website. It is a screenshot-based one posted on the Something Awful forums, but since it is older than six months, it would be required to pay to
acess to it along with any other thread older than that cut off mark.

User Info: JPop4Life

JPop4Life
2 years ago#10
Hi Hikaru, it's a pleasure to meet you.

You can thank Darkling for somehow getting my attention to look at this board again. In fact, I recall him doing that earlier this year... and I don't think I made it to boards that time. Hmmmm... RL sure has gotten in the way a lot more than I realized.

It has been a long time since I've played KLSvn. It's been a long time since I've played any VN (and finished... Zero probably figured I stopped playing FoH quite a while ago).

I need to get the game music in my car so I can have old emotions well up inside of me. In fact, I don't remember the names to the songs themselves. I just have in my mind "the happy one" "dramatic emotional change one" and the music box. I'm sure Zero could probably tell you which ones I mean >_<

In short Hikaru, I agree with the things that you feel and mostly share your thoughts and feelings all across the board. I am though an ending 6er and it is the ending closest to my heart (maybe ending one, but we all know that gets tricky).

It's strange, I cannot recall if I had the feeling or not of being the one that "raised" my sister. Yes I influenced her and wanted good and better things for her. But I'm not sure if I personally had a raising feeling. It's also probably blurred with the fact I am actually raising a child.

One of the biggest thoughts for me is that when I love someone that I would continue to love them no matter what other people think, even if the whole world was against us. And well, the whole taboo of KLS pretty much was perfect for the "us against the world".

Thank you Hikaru for showing up and saying something. It's always pleasing to hear from someone who has enjoyed KLS, their experiences and their thoughts. There's usually a lot to relate from between every KLS fan it seems. And for me, it tends to bring up old "Ending 5s" looking back at how I fell into this board looking for closure.

Looking for Kana's Eyes... wow, that truly is something I've long forgotten. I do recall there were other collabs that were made and failed? Or made and incomplete? Something... a decade has... *cries at how hold JPop has become*

Hey Dark, we can do a sequel. I just had laser eye surgery done and it is awesome! It's better than KLS awesome (PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!). Maybe Kana should be considering it?

I understand your feelings of wanting to do something KLS. Hence, Eternity was born. All I can say is that if you indeed do something, that you just let it come from the heart. And let it be what you want it to be.

Oh, strange thing that happened a couple weeks ago. My son and my step-niece (step-mother's grandchild) were playing and my step mother mentioned:

SM: "Wouldn't it be cute if they grew up and got together?" *Looks at JPop* "What!? It's not like they're blood related."

JP: "Oh I don't have a problem with it!" *Shaking his hands in front of him. "Whatever would make them happy."

I don't think I need to say to this board, but circumstances could hit Japan WTF levels and I almost figure I'd be ok with it.

But oh gosh, Kana's diary... just from thinking
about it... " Today, I saw the ocean. I am not longer afraid. " just from thinking about it, I start to tear up.


There was a manga showed to me by some jerk *coughackaussiewheez* and there was enough circumstances to relate KLS and a wish to see the beach. Beaches might get ruined for me at some point.

Take care all... maybe I'll post again soon. Take care KLS fans. Take care Kana! Take care Yumi! F**K off Yuta!
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