So, what were you doing at the border?

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  3. So, what were you doing at the border?

User Info: Jarl_Stormcloak

4 years ago#31
I was just taking a simple stroll! I don't understand why the fair General was so angry with me......

User Info: Cyclic_Infinity

4 years ago#32
I was simply enjoying a rare coming together of worshippers of Sanguine and Namira, hidden away in the mountains of Skyirm where we wouldn't be found.

As a personal worshipper of both daedric princes from time to time, I participated in a sado-masochistic orgy while feasting on the flesh of those who had experienced pleasure and pain powerful enough to perish. I was... indisposed with my mouth full of juicy thigh when we heard someone crashing through the woods nearby.

I did what any worshipper of the horribly misunderstood daedric princes would in such a situation. I quickly calmly pulled my bloodstained ragged clothing (For disguise purposes of course. Wouldn't want word of my religious beliefs reaching the Imperial City. Bad for business and all that.) back on and walked in a daze through the clearing of corpses, trampled in the rush to flee. The urge to feed on some of the tender meat, lying wasted in the grass was too much to bear, and I fell to my hands and knees, and after a quick prayer to Namira dug in. Just as I was getting to the juicy bits, a group of color-coded nords burst from the brush and froze in shock and disgust. I myself had to stop eating in disgust at their ignorance, but I didn't have time to chastise them before they charged with brutish axes raised.

With my mouth full of food yet again, I ran and tried to reason with them. Explain how the bodies would simply go to waste otherwise and etc., but they, of course, were simply too ingrained in their ignorant ways and continued to chase me with war cries and threatening axe swings.

Apparently I appeared as threatening as they did, or at least somehow a part of their group despite my non-matching outfit, as when we stumbled upon a road filled with imperial soldiers I was arrested as one of them. Deciding to let self-interest take hold while I was bereft of any methods of coercion, I allowed myself to be captured with these rebels or bandits (so I assumed) than explain my situation to the certainly unsympathetic guards.

We should really have some inconspicuous badge or something to recognize our fellow enlightened. Getting our people in military positions also wouldn't be too bad of an idea. I should definitely work it out when I escape custody somehow.

User Info: Kai_Laguna

4 years ago#33
Doing things to farm animals...

User Info: harvthamarv

4 years ago#34

User Info: The_Ivory_Man

4 years ago#35
Rapping dawg then them Stormcloacks grabbed me and got me caught dawg

User Info: Mu_Nova

4 years ago#36
She crossed the border from Cyrodiil into Skyrim legally, as befitting a renowned mage once of the Mages Guild and briefly of the College of Whispers... But, being a high elf and all, some bigot Nords (possibly Stormcloaks) started shouting and tried to kill her.

So of course, she roasted them after having some fun with a frenzy spell, and when she was found walking away from the bodies, well... That was a bit of bad luck. Especially since she'd been heading to Skyrim to help with the Stormcloak issue in the first place.
"Ah yes, 'cliff racers'... I have dismissed that claim." ~ St. Jiub
I like My Little Pony. You do not have to watch My Little Pony.

User Info: overmaxx

4 years ago#37

User Info: Geno146

4 years ago#38
agentspoon posted...
This weapon smuggler called The Jackal told me to go there and detonate some explosives so that the refugees could escape without being followed by the warring factions.

I did as he asked but survived the explosion, the Imperials dragged from from the rubble and accused me of planning an ambush for them

Nice, Far Cry 2.

I was... um... well, I was looting shoes off of dead bandits when the Imperials came by.
"No wonder the aliens are always trying to kill us in movies. Even we think we deserve annihilation." -SinisterSamurai

User Info: Evil_Sandwich

4 years ago#39
Cuddling a bunny rabbit.

User Info: TutelarSword

4 years ago#40
Running away from an angry wife! That boar then told the captain I was a Stormcloak and ran away, leaving me to die! It's not my fault that priestess of Dibella asked me to spend some time with her! Honest engine, guys, now get me out of here!
Proud Black Hat and Engineer user.
I unfortunately caused several topics about nukes in Black Ops II and made mine talk about STDs. Oppsies?
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