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I have no idea why it took me so long but better now then never, right. I try to explain it:
Middle finger and finger between middle and pinky on the rubberized ovals at the rear, Index fingers on the shoulder buttons, thumb straightened at the analog sticks and both pinkies below the ovals at the gaps from where you can make vita hang from the waist. I'm holding the vita almost same way i would read a book, lol. I honestly find that position even better than with handgrip if i'm using both analogs and both triggers the same time.
One reason why i never found my optical way to hold it is that i never, ever saw anyone holding it that way.