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He doesn't need to get laid. He has a pocket ***** built into his Mark 6 armor with Cortana controlling the clutch. He's good to go. Keeps him calm in stressful situations... Makes sneaking a little harder.
*Hears railgun charging and going off* *No railgun in sight*
If you beat Halo 2 on Co-op Legendary and die 69 times you will get to see Sgt. Johnson before he joined the UNSC and was making pornography with the the white ladies. The scene was actually considered to be "very well done" for its time.